The Official Spinster Logo

Imagine this on a T-shirt. You’d open so many sets wearing this because girls won’t be able to resist shit testing you about it. When they do, ask them if they want to be a member of A.S.S. — the American Spinster Society. Tell them you’re working hard to eradicate judgmentalism and loneliness from the world.

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Revving The Rationalization Hamster

This’ll do the trick:

You’re probably wondering what the best (read: alpha) reply would be to a girl who pulled this stunt on you.

GIRL: I haven’t been fully honest with you…

YOU: me neither

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Photo Of The Century Shoot-Out

It’s still early in the 21st Century, but already we have two photos which so deliciously capture the zany zeitgeist and cultural erosion of America that it makes sense to vote now on which one will win Photo of the Century.

First up is a pic (or, rather, a TV screen capture) of a Mercedes SUV. This is the car that was carjacked by the two Boston Marathon Muslim bombers, brothers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, (two dudes, it should be noted, who are about as culturally and genetically far from NW European whites as Levantine Semites are), as they were fleeing from police. On the SUV’s bumper is a “COEXIST” sticker.

The irony, it is SO GOOD, my cocky alpha smirk has gone suborbital. If you’ve been living safely away from white liberals, and never saw a “COEXIST” bumper sticker, here it is:

As you can see, the bumper sticker is kumbaya, bombs-across-America horse shit. Typical upper class leftoid self-soothing, status whoring propaganda that bears no semblance to reality, but does make the leftoid feel pretty goshdarned tickled with himself. As a YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT juxtaposition that belies the leftoid’s moralizing, the photo of the carjacked SUV is the equivalent of an early years Tyson uppercut. How do you think the Mercedes-driving liberal feels now that he’s been coexisted into a hijacking with a sterling member of the coexistence shock troops? Chastened? Rethinking his priors? Nah. He’s winding up to crack down even harder with his self-annihilating, self-flagellating, redneck bogeyman Whip of White Man Penance. He hopes the searing pain will blind him to the ugly, encroaching truth. And perhaps also keep him in good graces with his cocktail circuit buddies.

***

The next photo is representative of late-stage, declining America as much as the first, but its subversive message targets a different part of the culture’s underbelly (heh).

There’s nothing like a snapshot of a fat bride, her fat friends, and her beta groom collapsing under their own weight into the murky depths of America’s retreat from greatness. The symbolism here is sublime. Grossly obese, still hanging onto the customs of old traditions that are quickly being discarded, and sinking nonetheless to a suffocating doom. People who fret about the state of marriage talk a big talk about men “manning up”, but an honest observer of the scene would have to ask exactly why any man would want to hitch himself to a human RV? The marriage rate is decreasing and age of first marriage is rising, and yet no one bothers to wonder if the growing (heh) crisis of female obesity has anything to do with it.

The voting booth:

ps we’ll be back to game posts soon. this was just too juicy to pass up.

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Slam Shibboleth

A dumpling faced feminist-slash-slam poetess made a video about the horrible, terrible, no good culture of beauty that oppresses women and keeps them from realizing their dreams of being ugly rocket scientists that men love so much. Watch it here.

It has 1.7 million views and 17,000 likes. The platitude pushers will not want for addicts any time soon.

Did you know CH was once a slam poetry hero? Yes, it’s true. The spirit of syncopated sulky syllable slamming once moved yer ‘umble host to heights of grandiose on-stage spasming. Chicks loved it. Hipster doofuses wished they could capture a rhythmic beat of Heartiste magic, so that they may slay their own snapperdragons.

Good news! Recently unearthed from the underworld slam poetry archives is rare video footage of one of CH’s charmed apprentices performing a satire of the droopy-eyed feminist’s battle cry to wage war against mascara and the cruel judgment of looks-ism. To fully appreciate the (he)artistry, watch the above video before watching the following. (Give the video a few minutes to buffer.)

Not Pretty
by: ChateauH

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World Leaders: A Study In Contrasts

VS.

Barack Obama apologizes for calling Kamala Harris ‘best-looking attorney general’

U.S. President Barack Obama has apologized to California Attorney General Kamala Harris for causing a stir when he called her “the best-looking attorney general” at a Democratic fundraiser this week.

Yeah, yeah, Putin dispatches enemies abroad with polonium-tipped umbrellas, and you’d probably not want to say anything bad about him on the internet if you were living in Russia, but ask yourselves, who would you rather represent your country? This guy:

or this guy?

Now who does Putin’s “boobies!” face remind me of? Oh yes…

Great alpha males troll the shit out of vapid feminists. The best response to a shrieking femcunt is withering condescension, garnished with a belittling thumbs up or a shit-eating smirk.

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Comment Of The Week: Full Spectrum Rationalization Hamsters

Jack provides a laundry list of common hamster rationalizations, peculiar to both sexes.

The lower your SMV, the “pickier” you become.

“game only works on sluts” – beta male
“black guys are hot” – fat chick
“There are no good men” – fat black woman
“eat a sandwich!” – friend zoned beta orbiter commenting on his attractive, skinny female friend’s facebook photo
“only (beta)younger men can keep up with me!” – cougar
“I’m sick of dating assholes” – girl starting to lose her looks
“I’m having fun and don’t want to settle down” – girl fucking guys who won’t commit to her
“I like girls with really big asses” – low status black guy who fucks porkpies
“the girls in this club are ugly bitches” – your friend who keeps getting rejected at said club
“I don’t date guys who can’t handle a girl’s past because they are insecure” – slut
“girls are all just after money” – beta male with poor career prospects
“guys just never grow up” – girl who can’t secure commitment
“my career is important to me and I need a man who isn’t intimidated by that” – girl who doesn’t have the goods to marry rich
“football player jock guys are rapists!” – girl who the jocks wouldn’t touch in high school
“all girls are dirty dirty whores, one can never be more faithful than another” – guy who has no skill to maintain an LTR
“her kids are great!” – OMEGA male

“Her kids are great!” 😆 😆 😆

I would say, in order of how egregiously subgroups and subgenres of losers lie to themselves and anyone who will listen, (i.e., how overmuscled their hamsters are), the ranking, from best worst to least worst, would go like this:

fat women (can they *not* tell a lie about their romantic prospects without feeling suicidal? doubt it)
aging beauties (ditto)
single moms (doubleplusditto)
lesser beta males
average women
omega males
hot babes
alpha men

You’ll notice a trend. Women on the whole are more deluded than men. Lower value individuals of each sex are more self-deluding than higher value individuals. Omega males are still less deluded than the average woman, (men have to be more cognizant of the workings of reality because, unlike women, men can’t coast on their sexuality). Alpha men are the least self-deluding.

You are wondering what kind of rationalization hamster spins in an alpha male’s head. He’s a small rodent, but he’s in there, tucked away for special occasions. One example of an alpha male hamsterization would be: “I was the one who deserved that promotion.” Another example: “How did *he* get *her*?!” Most of the time, though, alpha males get the promotions, and the hot girls as well, and no one really argues they didn’t deserve their winnings in life.

Why is the lesser beta’s hamster bigger, faster, fluffier than the omega male’s hamster? There’s a psychological condition that causes a person to increase the voltage of his delusions the closer he is to plucking the fruit of success from the vine. This condition mostly afflicts men, because it’s men who mostly benefit from it. The lesser beta is riiight at the cusp of having something truly wonderful (relatively) in his life instead of the dregs which are so dishearteningly the usual bulk of his pickings. So it makes sense for him to assume a mantel of overconfidence to help push him across when the finish line is in sight. The omega male is nowhere near the finish line, so he accepts his sad lot in life without much fuss or mental energy devoted to convincing himself otherwise.

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#TellAFeministThankYou

Originally started by dumb feminists as a sincere effort at self-congratulation for imaginary deeds of heroism, the #TellAFeministThankYou Twitter feed has morphed into a shooting gallery for the entertainment of trolls and assorted sadists, providing a laugh a second. Feminists on that feed have been reduced to impotently bleating “wait for them to get it out of their systems.”

Go for the fun, stay for the cruelty. And keep an eye out for malevolent forces committing drive-bys of spectacular carnage. The kind of carnage that can leave a feminist with barely enough strength to mewl for the sympathies and circle-wagoning of fellow travelers.

UPDATE

Feminists are deleting the sarcastic tweets as fast as they appear. No surprise. Wouldn’t want to risk a mass suicide.

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