The Modren Man

The only thing this picture is missing that would make it the absolute perfect representation of the de-balled and de-souled modern SWPL man-lite is a “vibrant” infant tucked into the fat bride’s meatloaf arm.

secret secret, i’ve got a secret!

You might call this the 21st century Western equivalent of the drawing and quartering.

Read Full Post »

A Study In Contrasts

Me, during an evening of sitting on pea green, chocolate brown and beige boutique furniture, drinking $14/four-pack beer, and ricocheting rapid-fire witticisms about supper clubs, pop culture icons and travel mishaps with a mixed group of men, women and gay non-math-oriented professionals carousing through the twilight of our nation’s greatness:

Me, during a night of rolling solo in a dimly lit bar chatting up girls:

You’ve gotta struggle a little to feel like a free man.

Read Full Post »

Enraged Asian Rioter Meme Contest Winner

Maciano submitted the winning entry. Congratulations! You win… well, nothing. But you do get to enjoy the glow of pride.

I can’t upload the pics for some reason, so you’ll have to do with links.

Maciano: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3wv9/

Second place is dalai ganja: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3×93/

Runners up are SOBL: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3xq4/

and Mingus with the double embedded metameme: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3xr6/

Finally, in the cheap humor category, the winner is Eumaios: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3yek/

On a related note, there’s a YouTube video of Enraged Asian Rioter slashing at a Bank of Montreal window pane with his teddy bear adorned hockey stick. Best YouTube comment by far:

“tsk tsk tsk . Asian Father Dissapoint — you smashed B-MO why not A-MO”

Read Full Post »

Enraged Asian Rioter Meme

Following in the lineage of Roosh’s “Typical American Woman” meme (which feminists infiltrated and menstruated all over), here is my contribution to the art form. It’s a Friday. Knock yourself out adding captions to this Pulitzer-worthy photo. I’ll post the best memes on the blog over the weekend.

Read Full Post »

Enraged Asian Rioter

I’m hoping to start a new meme along the lines of Epic Beard Man. A photographer strolling the streets of downtown Vancouver during their riot after the loss to the Boston Bruins (Po’ Canada!) snapped a funny pic of an enraged Asian nerd wielding a hockey stick like a light saber.

I’m the juggernaut, bitch!

Well, this isn’t something you typically see at riots. When the riot isn’t that dangerous to personal safety, the Asians and white hipsters come out to join in the fun. I bet this guy wouldn’t last until morning if he struck that pose during the Katrina riots.

Read Full Post »

Government Jobs Defined

A commenter over at OneSTDV had this to say about government jobs:

Easy air conditioned jobs for chicks. Gets them out of the house, caters to their egos, and taxes men to pay their salaries. By the time the chicks get bored and disillusioned the players are done with them and they will be looking for husbands to support them.

I was listening to a girl complain about her impending unemployment, and her plans for finding a new job. I asked her what she was looking into. “Oh, something in media and communications.”

The current trajectory of America is unsustainable, and will implode sooner rather than later. Right now, it is a race between Malthusian mass disenfranchisement and the creation of a robot labor force to cater to our survival and entertainment needs. Any bets which way this will go?

Read Full Post »

Nerd Natural

A reader emails to express his wonderment that his nerdy friend has a smoking hot girlfriend:

Generally this blog is the truth but this defies nature:

my friend is a nerd who clocks in plenty of hours of world of Warcraft and other shit. When I heard he had a girlfriend I was happy for him expecting him to show up with some goth girl who was chubby but endearing or something. Instead he shows up with probably the hottest girl ever to set foot in this house. She’s one of the party girl/ model types and we were all speechless. How is it possible? There’s about a five to six point discrepancy at least. although we enjoy each others company he grunts more than he speaks and is about 5′ 3″ and has sticks for limbs. Please solve this mystery, if it means anything she had the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy, only laughed when he said shit or fuck or something. I’m not bullshitting she really was that hot. I want to stay anonymous though.

I want to be glib and dismiss this reader’s concern with the usual “exceptions do not prove the rule” truism, but I noticed something in his email that offers a possible explanation for why a WoW playing nerd has a hot model girlfriend. It’s in these two lines:

“although we enjoy each others company he grunts more than he speaks”

“only laughed when he said shit or fuck or something.”

My take is that this guy is no typical nerd. Grunting is an aloof alpha form of communication, and one that nerds generally don’t engage in. Hot party girls love non-needy assholes, and a guy who grunts all the time is signaling a very strong aloof and indifferent frame. Most hot girls under twenty-eight are attracted to that type of man.

Nerds don’t curse much, either. Any so-called nerd who says shit and fuck a lot is likely not representative of the archetypical nerd despised by women.

Verdict: Despite his short stature, stick limbs and WoW playing, our reader’s nerd friend is actually the jerk that women love. It’s always best to recall in these seemingly anomalous scenarios that women discern a man’s alphaness by much more than the size of his arms or his dorky hobbies. While women’s alphaness is easily recognized — looks, looks, looks — men’s alphaness is shapeless and contingent. You’ll have a much harder time picking out the stone cold alphas from a line-up of twenty men than you would from a line-up of twenty women.

Read Full Post »