Archive for the ‘Game’ Category

Here’s a game tip for aspiring womanizers that more experienced swains probably already know:

The more a girl mentions her boyfriend — either by name or by label — during the course of a conversation originally unrelated to anything about her boyfriend, the likelier it is she is aroused by your presence and therefore compelled to grasp onto “verbal anchors” that remind her of her ties to her boyfriend so as to alleviate her swelling guilt and, in case things spin out of control, to back-rationalize any cheating she does as outside the realm of her personal responsibility.

I call this the “three boyfriend blurts” rule. I’ve found, unfailingly, that women who plug the word “boyfriend” three times or more into their conversations with me are invariably attracted to me and enjoying my company beyond the bounds of propriety. These are the tell-tale female cues that they are stricken by guilty tingles, and are feeling at once desirous, desirable, and ashamed.

Once I know this, I can construct the flow and direction of our conversation toward more seductive destinations.

Most men are put off when a girl mentions her boyfriend out of the blue and worse, over and over, but they should really consider it a seduction opportunity. When a girl wedges a discordant declaration of the existence of her boyfriend into her rambling train of thought multiple times, the odds of illicit romantic closure with a charming interloper rise commensurate to the number of boyfriend blurts. The multiple boyfriend blurts are less warnings to other men than they are signals to approach her from an angle, because “taken” girls spook easily, like horses.

There’s only one exception to this rule, and it’s a weak exception, hardly belying the general observation: Some girls — particularly high maintenance BPD drama queens — who have fallen for a new guy will declare it from the rooftops on the flimsiest pretexts. However, this stage of try-hard infatuation usually lasts for a few weeks, two months tops, and they are more pliable to a supple seduction than their protestations to the contrary would suggest.

Girls who truly love their boyfriends, who are low infidelity risks, and who are secure in the knowledge that their boyfriends love them back, will be noted for the *absence* of mentions they make of their boyfriends. Paradoxical at first consideration, it makes sense upon reflection… a committed woman in love feels no need to prop up her own sexual loyalty to her boyfriend nor feels much need to artificially inflate via verbal incantation the sexual loyalty of her boyfriend.

For this reason, it’s almost a welcome convenience to hear the anxious staccato blurts of a “””taken””” woman instead of the opaque discretion of a legitimately taken woman who feels little psychic tension to announce her disengagement from the dating market.

Best of all, of course, is to hear no reference to a boyfriend, but even that is no guarantee you wouldn’t play the unknowing part of the furtive rendezvous lover.

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Face-Saving Recovery Game

A good test of your game is how well you handle your image when you’re thrown a curve ball by an impish cosmic overseer.

Reader dirkdiggly relays an excellent demonstration of face-saving recovery game.

O/t but amusing all the same: had a great reframe/lemonade from lemons experience at the library today.

Cutie in a glass windowed study room catches my eye as I walk past. I smirk big at her, only to walk right into a concrete pillar (slowly, but it hurt nonetheless). Reeling from sudden shame and pain on display, I pulled a fist dramatically down from the sky with a mouthed “yusssss” and then made the “call me?” gesture. She laughed hard, recovered, and…blew me a kiss!

Charlie Chaplin silent movie game?

What do women love?

Well, a lot of things, but they really swoon for

a. unpredictable men,

b. playful men, and

c. men with masterful state control.

dirkdiggly pulled off the trifecta. He did something 99.9% of men wouldn’t do, he did it playfully, and he showed how quickly he was able to recover from an embarrassing social miscue that would have left lesser men (betas) scuttling off in red-faced horror.

All these alpha male traits… together, what do they telegraph to women?



The banner of the charismatic jerkboy.


Commenter natphilosopher asks (trolls?),

I had almost the same experience 30 odd years ago, only I was driving when I spotted her, and barely recovered with a Bond-like maneuver in my red RX-7.
Led to I still remember fondly that-very-evening. Erin if you’re out there… you’d be too old for me now.

But CH: you don’t remark on the obvious thing this transmits, which is kind of opposite your point. It obviously begins with her literally turning your head, to the point where you missed something you obviously wouldn’t ordinarily, thus demonstrating to her that you really, no fooling, find her special. Which kind of implies you do give a fuck about her, no?

Ok, how many CH readers are on the spectrum? Raise your hands, I need to get a head count so I know how many times I need to repeat basic concepts and bang my hand against my forehead until I black out.

I keed, I keed. But seriously, you guys are overthinking irrelevancies. Aspiring to EPIC LEVEL ZERO FUCKS GIVEN alpha maleness doesn’t mean becoming a blind monk immune to the charms of women.

ZFG alphas love women, love their sexiness and their pretty faces and feminine demeanors, and sometimes like to let their raging desire run wild. This fact of life is in no way contradictory to one of the prime game directives to show “active disinterest” toward women you want to bed, at least early on when women are judging your sexual market worth.

Think of it this way: You aren’t a eunuch who never lets women know your sexual intentions. But you are a man with illimitable options (or a man who has crafted an image of one having illimitable dating options) who impresses women with the attitude that you can TAKE HER OR LEAVE HER. That’s the pure energy of the alpha male attitude. You show interest in women, AND you show a willingness to walk, through a number of behavioral cues, when you aren’t getting what you want out of the interaction.

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Dirty Randy wonders how to evade a typical substance-free leftoid attack.

You can see the Hivemind formulating their comeback: “They must be Stormfronters.” What’s the proper way to respond? Ignore and plow? Agree and amplify?

A number of game concepts could work here.


“You’re gonna love my jackboots kicking you in your nutless sack.”


“Answer the question. What do you think of the black on white rape stats? Do you deny them?”

Reframe the ad hominem

“Beats being a member of the gaypedoface club.”

Increase The Voltage

“You must be wearing a buttplug right now. Do you take it out for a breather once in a while?”

Patronize Your Enemy

“Why are you so afraid of honest discussion?”

Dismissive Mastery


I’m sure the more skilled game practitioners in the studio audience could come up with a few more effective counterattacks. It shouldn’t be hard. What the hell kind of semantic weaponry do shitlibs have besides squealing like stuck piglets and stamping their wee hooves with DEFCON 1 butthurt?


FYI, the Chateau Heartiste blog recently passed 70 million total views.

Too bad it’s not a dollar per view. :sad:

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Anonymous found himself in what the walking dead would consider an awkward situation, but one which he sees an opportunity to leverage into love.

Need game advice. Buying condoms. Cashier is very cute hard 8. Buying only condoms because I have a sex life and do, in fact, need them. But could always use more plates. I’m 40; she’s 26.

What is my funny opener to the sales clerk ringing up my condoms?

Store is nearly empty. Would be easy to chat her up. Ask her to come help me try them out? Just say “come get coffee with me on your break”? Also I live 3 minutes from here. She’d get the benefit of three orgasms if she’s lucky enough to come with me to my pad.

While not a scenario most men would encounter frequently, and deciding not worth analyzing for its seduction potential, it is amusing and pregnant with much amniotic flirtation, so if you do have the good fortune to slap a box of condoms down in front of a cute cashier, this is the post for you.

My first volley of advice: Don’t be overtly sexual. Condom purchase + lewdness is not the golden tingle ticket for a girl who doesn’t know you from Adam. That isn’t game; that’s the bro clown show.

Try disqualification game instead: “Don’t get your hopes up.”

Or implied preselection game: “Do you guys have a bulk buying policy?”

Or social tension acknowledgement game: “What’s more embarrassing… customers buying condoms or douches?”

Anyhow, I don’t want to hog the microphone. Readers, jump in here and give it your best game. You will be harshly judged and winners featured in a follow-up post.

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Remember the CH post about walking like an alpha male? For shits and remotely activated tingles, I decided to try out the MAXIMUM ALPHA MALE MODE walking style in a beautiful baby zoo near you.

I walked about town like a guy who absorbed a piece of gorilla DNA in a telepod, similar to Jeff Goldblum’s unfortunate mix-n-match in The Fly. I strutted and swaggered. Not quite as comically as this buffoon:

…but getting close.

Result: After an hour or so performing the “here are my steely balls, ladies, feast your eyes” gait, I can conclusively say that a lot… no, a WHOLE LOT… of women tossed me lascivious stares. Not “what is this weird guy doing?” looks; real hardcore “i want… i need… to get to know this man” stares.

Ok, there were a couple of “who’s the weirdo?” looks, but most were definitely in the “checking him out” camp.

I want… I need… to report that I felt foolish walking like I had an anvil in my crotch that I had to swing my legs around, but sadly, with heavy heart, I felt no such discomfort. What I did feel instead was confidence boosted major.

To this day, and after so many years of confirmatory experience, it still astounds me how autonomically women are magnetized by a man exhibiting alpha male characteristics. It’s almost… robotic.

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♂😎SCIENCE😎♂ swoons for Game once again, or rather, for the biomechanical truths explored here at the Chateau. Via reader RedEleven, a slew of studies examining the role of biological sex differences in gaits and other physical motions (there is such a thing as throwing like a girl).

There’s a lab in Canada that does motion capture studies of people and has collected data and produced animations that show distinct differences in the male and female gait.

This interactive flash applet lets you adjust the masculinity-femininity of a wireframe animation.


This WebGL version allows you to rotate the wireframe and toggle between dot mode and skeleton mode:


And here’s an excerpt from one of the studies they published:

“A framework is outlined that can be employed to obtain gender and other characteristics of the agent from human motion patterns and subsequently use this information to synthesize motion with particular, well-defined biological and psychological attributes.”

And from the discussion section:

“For instance the exaggerated male walker has wider shoulders than hips whereas in the female walker this ratio reverses. Male walkers display considerable lateral body sway whereas this is not the case for female walkers. Hip motion in male walkers is 180 phase shifted with respect to the hip motion in female walkers. The position of the elbows is very different in male and female walkers. Men tend to hold their elbows away from the body whereas women hold them close to the body. In general, the exaggerated man seems to attempt to occupy much more space than the exaggerated woman — a display not unique to the human species. ”


There’s also an experiment that let’s you guess the gender of these 15-point figures as they walk, run, throw a ball, sit down, etc – based on data capture from real life.


That first biomotion link provides a few minutes of amusement if you adjust the sliders to MAXIMUM ALPHA MALE.

Male-Female: All the way to the male.
Heavy-Light: All the way to heavy.
Nervous-Relaxed: All the way to relaxed.
Happy-Sad: All the way to happy.

There you go, gentlemen. Mimic the walking motion of the MAXIMUM ALPHA MALE:

Elbows out.
Lateral sway in the upper body.
Knees high and out on the leg up-swing.
A little bit of bounce in your step. (“Get air” in your walk.)

In other words, lope like a pimp nigra.

j/k, but only sort of. Fact is, an alpha male gait that will turn on women is going to somewhat resemble a pimp roll. But Hwhyten it up. You don’t need to go the full gorilla to have an effect on lovely lady loins.

And whatever you do, don’t sashay your hips. Unless you’re John Scalzi, who is all about the swish.

BONUS: If you hoist iron, the resulting growth in your muscles and neural connections will naturally conform your gait into one that is more alpha male than beta male.

The second link is even funnier to watch in MAXIMUM ALPHA MALE MODE, (if not as educational), because it’s a full skeleton instead of a dot skeleton. You can practically see the silverback hair and prominent brow ridge.

How did you do on the “guess the sex” biomotion test at the last link? Your venerable Chateau host got 8/10 on the first sequence and 17/20 on the second sequence. Not bad considering the only clue to the sexes was a dot figure performing different motions. Do I know this because real world sex differences in gait and physical motion shape my impressions? Or do I know this because I was born with a mental template deep in my hindbrain that subconsciously informs my instinctive impressions? It’s probably both: Our genes create our sex differences, and our culture organically reinforces our genetic imprints.

Conclusion: The sexes are intrinsically, innately, immutably… biomechanically different!

Feminists, male and female? You there?


What about MAXIMUM ALPHA FEMALE MODE (i.e, how would an HB10 walk)?

Set the dot skeleton sliders in the first link to:

100% Female.
80% Light.
80% Relaxed.
80% Sad.

Try it, and I think you’ll agree that this female gait is the sexiest to male eyes.

Why? Because sex differences in mating psychology are telegraphed through our gaits. The HB10 is at her sexiest when she’s walking with:

– a 100% female gait
– a light step, but not so light she looks like a flaky slut
– a generally relaxed gait, but with a hint of nervousness that suggests vulnerability
– some perceptible sadness, because a 100% happy woman looks too strident and chirpy to properly ping those male radars for vulnerable faire maidens.

I hope this post has been as informative to open-minded readers as it has been hurtful and distressing to equalist fruit cups.


Commenter mendozatorres notes that the more “male” the dot figure, the greater the “crotch thrust” and the wider the man-spreading! Spread those legs out, men, and let your hog light shine! The women want a show. And, vice versa, when the figure goes from male to female, the crotch area sways more, like a pendulum tantalizingly swinging a basket of fruit at its end.


From commenter “its me”:

50/75/25/75 – effeminate homo/hipster walk lzozlzolzzolzzolzzozlz

It’s lzozlol because it’s true.

PS Fat-woman-who-has-given-up-on-life walk: 75/0/100/100. She looks like she’s ready to fall through the earth.

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A reader whose handle I forgot asks,

I thought you might have a post about this or would have some good suggestions: you know when you’re in a big group of new people and they have a “introduce yourself” for everyone–and to say “one thing that is interesting about you”. What’s some good ideas that are appropriate but somewhat interesting for the ladies in the group? Something serious, something funny, joking etc

Your question appears to imply a formal setting, like a work retreat or a school function or an AA meeting. Am I right? Because if it’s a casual venue, like a bar, where one girl, the social butterfly, is rushing around trying to get everyone to meet each other, then the range of your workable responses would be much wider.

If it’s a casual context, may the charismatic jerkboy force be with you:

“My name is Santa Claus. Stop asking lame questions or you’re getting a lump of coal this year.”

If it’s more formal:

“Hi, I’m [Neptune’s Uni-Pronged Trident]. Something interesting about me…. I sleep eight hours a night.”

This is a form of self-disqualification, and in the right circumstances (such as this one), it can be a DHV — demonstration of higher value — to 1) answer a serious question with a glib reply and 2) self-deprecate when it is obvious that you don’t really mean it.

This is far from the only way to parlay a contrived social situation to your personal SMV advantage. For example,

“Hi, I’m [Loki’s Hammer Envy]. Something interesting about me… I tend to get into a little more trouble than it’s worth.”

The implication that you’re a badboy should be plenty to get the after-hours conversational ball rolling with any women in attendance.

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