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The seduction process can be viewed through the lens of validation: how much you give to the girl, how often you give it to her, and how adeptly you retract it when warranted.

Validation is an important part of the social hierarchy and how each individual within a tribe receives feedback relative to their position within that tribe. One might argue that an alpha male is simply the member of the tribe that receives the most social validation.

Validation is an umbrella term for a whole bunch of game concepts, like push-pull, hot-cold, takeaways and freeze-outs. The basic premise is simple: External validation is important to women (arguably more sought after by women than by men), and a man can manipulate a woman’s desire through adjustments to the amount or intensity of ego validation he gives to or withholds from her.

VERY generally:
Alpha males get more social validation than give it.
Beta males give more social validation than get it.
Alpha females receive almost total social validation and give very little, at least intentionally (they give it unintentionally when they accompany men into social settings).
Beta females give and receive an equal amount of sex-specific validation (give to alpha females, receive from beta males).

Beta females (those girls in the 4-7 looks range) are the trickiest subjects to devalidate, because it’s a fine line between delightfully maddening them and antagonistically saddening them.

There are important exceptions to the above generalizations about validation. For instance, an apex alpha male will occasionally give unmistakable social validation to subordinates (including girlfriends), who of course will eat it up and glow for a week thereafter. Giving validation can, in certain contexts, increase a man’s alphaness, because it signals that the man giving it can afford to “share the social status wealth”, so to speak.

Anyhow, validation, if used correctly (i.e., seductively), will require summoned energies from both your Light and Dark sides. The dark side of validation is called devalidation. YaReally explains it well:

@Sentient: I backed off of negs because on 6/7’s I kept running into “nice” girls [who] just got hurt by them, not in a bitchy way but in a “i like him and he’s making fun of me” way. But this caused me to fail to build attraction on the 7/8 range… so still having trouble calibrating the neg. Any resources etc appreciated here.

RSD Julien’s PIMP product. Specifically the Outer Game sections, very specifically the Vibe section of it. Very specifically the stuff on qualifying a girl and combining it into stacking devalidation (halfway thru the first vid)…complicated subject until you hear it explained, but it’s basically a turbo-charged version of negging that goes way beyond what Mystery was doing.

A buddy and I have been experimenting with it and the reactions we’ve been getting are ridiculous. I know everyone thinks I’m an RSD shill lol, but I only recommend legit useful shit (and Tyler doesn’t care if people pirate Foundations, Blueprint, etc.) and PIMP is legit useful. If you aren’t rolling in $ you won’t have a problem finding it through “other” means.

Try to ignore the crazy “I’ve just snorted a line of coke” mannerisms he has going on, listen to what he’s saying and watch the infield stuff he shows to demonstrate it and look where he’s using it and how they react. He does it to an extreme level for the sake of demonstrating how far you can take it, but toning it down to a less harsh level while keeping the structure he uses is still insane powerful. He’s taken a bunch of PUA concepts that everyone knows already work and combined them then streamlined the result…first time I’ve been legitimately impressed by new information in a few years of checking out pickup products that just rehash old knowledge.

I’ll try to explain it better at some point and after I’ve played with it some more myself, but Julien’s explanation is flawless and in-depth. The easiest way to describe it is that he devalidates the girl, then changes conversation threads before giving her a chance to qualify herself, and then he stacks that multiple times like Mystery’s multiple threading conversation technique and gets her extremely invested in trying to qualify herself to you and then after a while smoothly allows her to “win him over”, creating HUGE investment on her part which triggers a chain reaction back to her hamster that says “if I’m chasing him this hard he must be high value”. It’s brilliantly devious. [ed: indeed.]

Would send anyone to this resource instead of traditional “negging” resources, this is like Neg 2.0 evolved/enhanced as far as I’m concerned. And for anyone who missed it, here’s a bunch of vids to watch.

I highlighted the bold part, because that’s the take-home point. Have you ever, in so many words, told a girl she wasn’t up to your exacting standards, and then just flitted to a new topic before she could insist otherwise?

Devil’s Activist: Oh, man you are so high maintenance, I’m surprised you don’t come with an instruction manual.
Her: I’m not….
Devil’s Activist: Hey, that guy over there is drinking an appletini. Sign of the times. You into men comfortable with their femininity? Figures.

If you’ve had this sort of conversation with a girl, you’ll know how infuriating, and thus arousing, it can be for her. Devalidating a girl, then closing off any chance for her to revalidate herself, and repeating as necessary, can drive a girl into paroxysms of desperate self-qualification. And that’s the primrose path to poon. A man can DHV directly, or he can do it indirectly by… seducing… a girl into selling herself to him. When she’s selling herself, she’ll perceive you as an upscale buyer, because who else can afford her pricey product?

As always, flipping the biomechanical courtship script is pussy fire. Just know when to pull her toward you, or she’ll break in defeat when she thinks you’re unattainable or uninterested.

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Reader “flies” wonders why his text game has such poor reception. Read on, and watch how quickly a girl’s sexual curiosity can turn ice cold when you sound like you’re interviewing her, (or she treats you like you’re being interviewed, and you do nothing to alter her frame).

Hello, I have a question about text game:

I’ve added recently a girl friend in Skype from my little brother’s Internet social circle (she’s living at 1h+ of driving). I was like “let’s add her, practice my text game”.

She’s a cute asian, not hesitate to make sexual innuendos. She talks to my brother a lot, but he’s in orbiter status.

After several days of her accepting my invitation, I have this text exchange, though I was out of state (I couldn’t find anything witty and stuff):

21:07 girl: Hi c:
21:25 me: hey
21:25 girl: how are you?
21:26 me: yea. You look like in great mood.
21:27 girl: Yeeeeah?
21:27 girl: What do you do?
21:28 me: training
21:29 me: you do you train
21:33 girl: yes
22:00 girl: why?

My questions are: Is it bad that I ended it like this? And What I could’ve done to make it progress more? I’m not used to text game, so it’s really tough for me.

The last few times I got a number, it all went down super fast the moment I started texting with the girls I picked up, even if the girl was attracted in person and it went well live. My guess is not enough comfort or lack of escalation (like asking the number before leaving because I didn’t escalate enough to what could’ve been a kiss in person).

My first question is, “Do you even English?” Not snarking you, I’m just wondering if some of your trouble has its origin in your broken English. If American girls are your target, broken English will be an obstacle, unless you’re from a sexy export country, like Slovenia.

My second question is, “Are you especially good-looking or do you possess high social status?” Because if you are as dull in person as your text game makes you sound, then you’ll need compensating attributes for girls to overlook your conversational torpidity.

My third question: “Why are you betraying your brother?” Maybe he’s not interested in girls that way. You should still give him a head’s-up about your backroom dealings.

Again, I’m not trying to unduly harsh your mellow. But your text exchange comes across like a very boring interview, which is doubly remarkable considering how few words you needed to convey such dullness.

Rule #1 for beginners: Don’t ask a girl what she does. First, you don’t give a shit. Second, she knows you don’t give a shit. Instead, try a teasing alternative: “I bet you’re in the [x] business. I can tell by your look.” This is a sort of cold read that chicks love, and will be much better received, leading to more fruitful conversation avenues.

Now that I’ve corrected your most glaring game misstep, I’ll point out that you’re probably on the right track in your belief that rapid number closes without sufficient emotional connection are leaving girls feeling less than enthused about you the next day when the glow of the previous night has worn off. Getting a number, however rushed, is usually better than not getting a number at all, but don’t expect your lay rate to budge upward much from a pile of hastily relinquished phone numbers that the girls probably gave you because you caught them off-guard.

Resolve never again to ask interview-style questions of girls, and make it a personal growth mission to refrain from asking girls for their numbers until you’ve passed certain pickup trail markers, as defined according to your level of comfort, that may include, say, a well-received touch on one of her erogenous zones or a verbal signal she’s into you (did she ask you three questions in a row? that’s one positive indicator of female interest).

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Matchmakers’ Client Game

Are you wondering how to maintain that “man of poon plenty” attitude (aka fornucopia) when your social circle plays matchmaker for you? Commenter mendozatorres asks,

“Women are repulsed by the man of need.”

So in a case where a man is being introduced to women by friends/acquaintances, does this work against him, since it could come across as him being needy?

It could, but it won’t, if you know the Way of the Charming Jerkboy. It’s a very simple reframe when you want to avoid the stink of neediness that does tend to Pigpen-ishly waft around the clients of eager beaver matchmakers. When you are introduced to the girl, lightheartedly break the ice:

“I apologize for my friends’ insistence on setting me up. They apparently don’t like the women I date without their help.”

This serves two subcommunication goals: One, you don’t need their help to get laid. Two, she’ll wonder what kinds of women you pull. And when women wonder about that, their hamsters can’t resist imagining some sexy, hell-on-wheels badgirl with zero bedroom inhibitions.

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You can practically see the exact moment a tingle zaps her vagina.

The ponytail pull is a staple of charismatic jerkboys. This outtake is the best distillation of game in three seconds you will likely come across. Why is this so? Think back to this post describing the Fishing Theory of Game.

The shared idea behind all these pithy game theories is that women want a man who seems like he gets so much mad pussy that he can take or leave any one particular pussy. This is the man who “flips the script” and has women chasing him. Women love the man of plenty. Women are repulsed by the man of need.

The ponytail pull is fun, teasing, even taunting. But there’s a deeper subcommunication that speaks directly to the female id. The man who pulls the ponytail with reckless disregard for the potential of a withering rebuke from the girl is the man who, through his strong indication of indifference (IOI) to the girl’s reaction, signals that he is flush with sexual market options.

The ponytail pull is a powerful mate value cue; it implies to the delighted recipient, “This man is a man of plenty. He breezily risks my wrath, and my romantic rejection, therefore he must have no trouble getting women. Women desire him, so I must desire him. And, oh yeah, the thought of getting my hair pulled during a sweaty rut turns me on.”

A clearer delineation between alpha and beta males you couldn’t find. If you surveyed one hundred alpha males, more than a handful would confess to having pulled the ponytail. And those who hadn’t could easily envision themselves doing it.

One hundred beta males, to the contrary, would confess to never having pulled a ponytail. Instead, they would stare aghast at this demonstration of entitled, dominant, seductive male courtship display, and wonder aloud how it is girls fall for these jerks every time while they politely keep their hands off ponytails like true gentlemen.

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Its provenance uncertain, an anonymous sage explains the Fishing Theory of Game:

It’s like fishing. You don’t just jerk your line out of the water as soon as you can. That’s how you get a broken line and lose an expensive lure. You jerk her in slowly letting the fish tire herself out. Once she’s sufficiently submissive then it’s time for the net. After that if you feel like catching another one then just cast your reel again.

You never let a girl control the line. That’s how you lose fish.

Mystery’s “cat string theory” describes a similar phenomenon of female psychology. A cat won’t lunge for the string if it’s just sitting there in front of her, but if the string [your penis and any proxies for your penis, like your brain or personality] is moving away or zig-zagging, she’ll pounce.

The shared idea behind all these pithy game theories is that women want a man who seems like he gets so much mad pussy that he can take or leave any one particular pussy. This is the man who “flips the script” and has women chasing him. Women love the man of plenty. Women are repulsed by the man of need.

I don’t make the biomechanic rules, folks, I just deliver the news, because a well-informed citizenry is an accountable sexual market.

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Some unlearned folk think girls can only be picked up in bars or nightclubs, or that those two venues are the bread and butter of advanced cadding practitioners. They have no comprehension of the ease with which girls can be approached and courted in just about every conceivable situation outside bars and nightclubs. Every real world situation offers the awakened man who is aware of his surroundings an opportunity to say something charming that could spark and expand a conversation with a girl inside his phonic sphere.

Bus stop: “I know this bus driver. Here’s a tip: Flash some leg if you want a free ride. Works for me.”

Waiting in line for roller coaster: “If I throw up on you when we’re upside-down, don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s me.”

Doctor’s office: “I’m here for my bloodletting.”

Gym: “Great form!…. for a girl.”

Liquor store: “My AA group is throwing a party. I’m in charge of supplies.”

Car dealership: “I don’t want the rust protection. That’s like getting a prenup. Takes all the romance out of it, doncha think?”

Running to girl on sidewalk: “Holy crap, you walk fast. How am I supposed to woo your back?”

Dollar store, admiring $2 bauble: “It’s the thought that counts, right?”

Bowling alley: “Two strikes in a row! I need groupies. You in?”

Fly-fishing: “I’m trying to catch a mermaid. It’s time to settle down.”

Rock climbing: “Try not to stare at my butt when I’m up there. I’m self-conscious.”

At a scenic overlook: “You come here often?”

Staring side-by-side at a famously nightmarish painting in a museum: “I bet this guy got all the ladies.”

Hospital, checking in: “I have a broken heart.”

April Fool’s Day: [leaning over her cubicle] “I’ve gotta get this off my chest. Been holding it in too long. I am deeply, deeply, deeply in love with you. Always have been.” [wait a beat, point at her calendar, AN SMIRK]

Apple store Genius Bar: “Tim Cook is a fairy who does business with Saudi Arabia, a nation that beheads homosexuals, and employs Chinese child slave labor to snap the backs on iPhones. Gimme your number.”

I will neither confirm nor deny if I have used any of these lines in my own life to hit on cutie patootie pies (aka slender, 17-23 BMI, 0.65-0.75 waist-to-hip ratio, under-30 women).

The point of this post isn’t to memorize these lines. The lesson is this: Be situationally aware and in the moment. Keep your senses sharp, like a hunter surveying the veldt for prey, and exploit every chance that the banalities of life throw at you to capture the curiosity, and hearts, of cute girls gliding in and out of your world. There is much more opportunity for sexual and romantic gratification than you think you know. You’ve just gotta… bustamove.

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In yesterday’s “A Test of Your Game” post, many commenters offered suggestions to the reader who asked how to open a girl in a coffee shop who had already expressed her interest with lingering glances and thrust butt in his pointed vicinity.

My favorite and personal go-to is, “Take a picture, it’ll last longer”, spoken with humorous intent. Commenter Claude Martel had a similar opener, “You know… it’s rude to stare.” Commenter Ludwig’s suggestion was also good (but you’d better be able to handle the heat you’re gonna get): Next time just draw a big cock n’ balls on the sumi ink station. (Claude adds: If you made a production of it, and really sold it, chin scratching, slow and deliberate strokes, I bet she’d laugh her ass off.)

These are clever and marginally jerkboy-ish openers that work well on pretty girls used to hearing the same old from dull suitors.

But, as YaReally noted, the reader in this scenario already has attraction. The girl gave him the standard-issue nonverbal female approach invitation.

“And yet, all PUAs recommend building attraction before building rapport and you’d do the opposite”

He’s already in A2. A3 would be him opening her (however he does it), so he can just go right into C1 (normal conversation shit like PermanentGuest described).

A1 = showing value. If she’s checkin’ him out and sending him obvious Approach Invites like that then he’s shown enough value for her to move things into A2.

A2 = female to male interest. She’s showing interest in him with all her flirty shit and eye-contact etc. she’s doing. So before he says anything he’s already achieved this. This makes it a Warm Approach with an AI, not a real Cold Approach. A2 is where a lot of Naturals start, it’s why a lot of Naturals 1) won’t cold approach for real, they often wait till they get a hard AI like this scenario before they’ll approach so they have a green light VS legit cold approach where the girl hasn’t shown any interest in advance, and 2) have pretty “boring” game where they just “make conversation…bro just ask her questions and listen to what she says and stuff”…they can do that because they’re starting from A2.

A3 = male to female interest (note that you wait till you’ve hooked her and she’s shown interest before you reward her with showing interest first…female to male interest comes FIRST). This is where the OP is starting out. Literally ANYTHING he does that pro-actively opens her is achieving A3, whether it’s a clever witty line, a “hi, my name is YaReally”, throwing a pen at her, doesn’t matter.

C1 = basic conversation about yoga or whatever. This CAN be more fun and witty and exciting conversation, but it doesn’t HAVE to be. Long as it pushes things in a sexual direction and towards the lay.

If a guy is getting THIS warm an approach and NOT approaching the girl, I would question if he’s actually into dudes. This scenario is like swinging at a T-Ball.

YaReally as usual nails the fundamentals. Given blatant flirting the girl has shown, the reader could just say “hi”, with cool, self-controlled body language, and be off to the races.

However, there’s something to be said for adding a dash of wit, if you come preinstalled with the brain shaker. I’ve been hearing a growing chorus of game-haters/trolls/self-regarding stoics litter the comments section with “try-hard” taunts.

Mucho gracias, senoritas, but since when did proactive courtship become synonymous with “try-hard”? Men, as the bustamove sex, have to “try hard” to get women. Do these anti-“try-hard”ers stand inert, like mute statutes, waiting for girls to alight on them like pigeons? Or are they huge pussies who need the crutch of mommy or their social circles to set them up on dates?

“Try-hard” is not an excuse for inaction. Let me refresh the haters’ memories: The original use of the term “try-hard” was to describe game that appeared too obvious to the recipient of the game. A guy who begs a girl for her number despite her increasingly adamant refusal is “try-hard”. A guy who makes what he thinks is a funny joke, crashes and burns, and then earnestly attempts an even worse joke is “try-hard”. A guy who says “m’lady” non-ironically is “try-hard”. “Try-hard” means “unsmooth”, not “OMG he’s spending precious ampules of manly pride and dignity by walking up and talking to her!! A real man has girls go to him!”

Which is to say, there’s nothing wrong and everything right with clever openers if you have the chops for them.

Cleverness is a fitness trait of men that women find attractive. Yes, if you’re in A3, you could pick up the girl with a simple “hi”, and follow from there the C1-C3 game strategy. But maybe your brain whirrs with too much energy for such plebian openers. You like flashing your cortical curves. So you open with something a little more complex than “hi”. You won’t kill the interaction. In fact, you’ll have improved your odds of closing the deal, as long as anything you say isn’t tainted by needy body language.

Pickup is supposed to be fun, for her and for you. Those witty openers are as fun for you as for her, if you’re good at them, and she’ll “pick up” on the fun you’re feeling, and be infected by it. A fun feedback loop ensues.

I sometimes think cleverness works on girls because their instinct is to judge men by how well they balance BUSTAMOVE with sexual indifference. It’s a balancing act that can take years to master. The clever opener is certainly signaling romantic intent, but if the clever opener is paired with aloof body language — BOOM goes the Bartholin’s reservoir. Don’t lean in, speak low and slowly, stand contrapposto, make strong eye contact, and flaunt your wit proudly. She’ll know you can still take her or leave her, but she’ll also know you’re the first man to say something interesting to her all month long.

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