Game Is Universal

It’s not often Le Chateau gets emails like this one about gaming your mom. For those denialists of the human condition who completely misunderstand and fervently believe that game only works on bar sluts, behold its power to improve relationships with overbearing mothers.

This is a long reader-submitted story, but it’s worth your time.

I have been reading your website for a year and a half now, got a girlfriend for almost a year now, many thanks for the advice.

The purpose of this letter is to share with you how I overcame beta-ness and improved relationship with my mom.

I was a beta before your site. While I realized that my behaviour was not right (ie doesn’t attract girls), I did not know how to correct it. I am 20, live with parents, and go to university. After reading your site extensively I started putting conscious efforts in changing my mindset, adopting the alpha mentality and DHV, being more open to people, talking to girls in class and so on. I am not the kind of guy who goes to bars and clubs so a fair portion of your advice remained in “theory” stage for me…

So, looking for ways to apply your advice I started using it on my mom. Before being judgmental, hear me out. My mother is a strong-willed, opinionated, demanding woman. My father is an alpha. Even after many years of marriage, every time my mom talks to my dad, her eyes glitter and her voice softens and even becomes slightly nervous. However, every time she spoke to me, her tone switched to loud, demanding as if I was some asian kid who got a B on a math test instead of an A+. She would not appreciate anything I do, order and command me around the house, blame everything on me, sometimes even her own wrongdoings, and if I argued back she would become argumentative and shut me up (!!!) My dad didn’t care enough to play the judge, though if he heard blatant abuse, he would shamelessly put my mom in her place.

It took about 4-6 months to COMPLETELY change my mom’s attitude toward me.

-I started by ignoring her demands. (Your advice on Beta’s are reactive) So if she was relaxing in the basement and would command me to make her “a hot chocolate with marshmallows” while I was busy upstairs, I would just pretend that I didn’t hear it, turn the volume up etc.; If she persisted/confronted I would say “I’m busy” or “Get it yourself”. Similarly, I stopped responding immediately when called and would wait until she would call me about 2-4 times before showing any signs of life.

-I stopped being argumentative and confrontational. If any argument arose, I would loudly and clearly state my point of view ONCE, explain why she is wrong, and fully disengage from the situation. If she continued arguing, scolding, yelling and screaming at me I would ignore it and focus on something else like TV, txting, or just walking out. Now, she would always have the last word in every argument and with my disinterest to continue, the arguments eventually grew into ways of qualifying to me, as I would dismiss them.

-I stopped answering the house phone. (Your advice on subtle dominance plays) There was panic in the household for about a week as all calls went to the answering machine lol. However, naturally, after I stepped down from the role of the secretary my mom assumed the duty and BROUGHT the phone to ME, if somebody called.

-I learned to cook and started critiquing her cooking. (Your advice on having a checklist and knowing what you want) Every once in a while I started making really delicious meals for the family. Since she cooks most of the time if she burned food, made it bland, too dry, too salty you name it I would call her out on it and refuse to eat it. To the obvious comeback of: “well why don’t you cook then” naturally my reply was “I do, and its ALWAYS just right…”

-Finally, I started playfully negging, teasing and not taking her seriously. Don’t get the wrong idea here lol. [Ed: I hope not!] Anything she would say I would turn and twist around in a funny way, at times even in a dirty and sexual way. If she would stop and say “that’s inappropriate”, I would reply “We are all adults here, and can appreciate it for what it is” (DHV) After a couple of times she would just go with it.

The intricacy of this situation is that changing a relationship with your mother is much more complex than changing it with a girl you just met. You HAVE to remain polite and diplomatic at all times (or else you’ll get kicked out of the house and make everything worse) Looking back I realize why my mom treated me the way she did, and I don’t blame her. Now my mom treats me with respect, just as good as she treats my dad. No more batshit insane demands. Helping out around the house is now APPRECIATED. Now that is not to say that she agrees with everything I do and say; arguments arise MUCH more rarely than they used to and we are able to come to a peaceful resolution without screaming, and laugh it off in a couple of minutes.

You have full permission to use any part of this letter in your blog, though I ask you to not disclose my personal information.

Negging your mom is a great way to defuse her incipient female antagonism to a power vacuum.

I used to corner anti-game denialists on their “bar sluts” trope by asking the more honest of them to draw a comparison with “girl game”, aka youthnbeauty. Think of game as the male equivalent of female beauty: Does T&A work solely on “bar douchebags”, or does it work on all men?

The question is, of course, rhetorical. The allure of an unyielding rack, firm ass, slim waist and pretty face excites the libidos of low class and high class, young and old, douchy and awesome men alike. Equivalently, game, when executed with unforced grace and contextual refinement, arouses all kinds of women, from lawyers to nurses to teachers to SAHMs to foreigners to SWPLs to skanks to HR drones.

As this reader’s story demonstrates, not only is game effective on all types of women beyond the mythological bar slut, game is effective on family members! If you include sales and management (business or social circle) as a form of game, then you could argue that game is effective on men as well.

The only way game works is if it takes a realistic appraisal of human nature. Once game abandons the age-old truths that underlie all human behavior, it ceases to work. The fundamentals of game are as crucial to its success as the fundamentals of gravity and aerodynamics are to flight.

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Pre-Sex Offers That Sound Too Good To Be True

A reader who wishes to remain anonymous asked:

I met a 8.5 girl online (physically I’m a 6.5).  She’s extremely aloof, ignores half my texts.  Likely never LTR material. We’ve made out, nothing more.  Her interest waxes and wanes.  She planned a trip to Central America without me, leaving very soon, casually invited me.  I’ve never really traveled abroad.  I’m fast-tracking my passport and scuba certification.  I offered a nice hotel, she insisted on hostels to “meet people.”  I don’t want to feel like a novice or tag-along.  How do I prepare fast so that I can lead, demonstrate value, enjoy the trip, and build heat between us?

Short Answer: Don’t go.

This reminds me of a similar story I once heard from a friend. He, too, had sorta, kinda hooked up with a hot chick, except he did it in person while on vacation. They shared a make-out, but nothing more. After returning home to their respective countries, she invited him to visit her in her hometown. He opened his wallet, boarded a plane, took a cab from the airport to her place, crashed on her couch, and came back home two weeks later angry, bitter and pissed about ever having gone. She hadn’t put out at all. He wasted money and vacation time on illusory pussy.

He thought by taking her up on her offer of a two week vacation in her backyard she was basically offering sexy funtime. A sensible conclusion for any man to draw, but unfortunately girls are anything but sensible creatures. Unless you are the Don Juan of game, any “innocent” meeting (in her mind) that hints at a contrived pretext for sex will put a woman on guard. Not to mention, a man totally betas himself by going out of his way to spend money and fly to meet a woman on her turf in the tacit expectation of sex.

For these reasons I suggest you don’t bother going if banging her is your primary goal. She will smell that and make the path to her pussy arduous and labyrinthine indeed. Your trip will be miserable, as a result. If, on the other hand, you can honestly tell yourself that banging her would just be a welcome complement to a trip in which your primary focus is scuba diving and hitting on chicks in hostels, then by all means take her up on her offer as a TRAVEL COMPANION. But beware the danger in assuming she will be anything more than a platonic tour buddy.

Now if you had already had sex with her multiple times, I’d advise the opposite: clearly she was smitten by your bedroom prowess and offered the trip to monopolize more of your lovin’.

As for the travel preparedness details, don’t worry so much about that. Attitude is key. Go with a devil-may-care air of whimsy and enjoy your time in a foreign land with someone who will buy you tropical drinks. If you’re worried about seeming like a tag-along, make sure you have reservations to do some things on your own. Read up on the place, so you aren’t stuck in a situation where she’s telling you about all the good restaurants, clubs and beaches. If you have to leave her behind once in a while to do something you like but she doesn’t, do it. You have to act like this is as much your vacation as it is hers.

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Does Game Work Less Well On Masculine Women?

A reader left a link to a very interesting study of digit ratio and how it affects women’s mating and nesting behavior.

The current study assessed digit ratio (2D:4D) and mate guarding in 101 dating couples. Low 2D:4D men (indicating higher prenatal testosterone exposure) were more likely to state that they threatened male competitors and used more threats and physical aggression toward their female partners. Men were particularly likely to use threats and physical aggression toward partners who cheated in the current relationship. In addition, women resisted mate guarding by men with high 2D:4D, particularly when women cheated on their partner. High 2D:4D women were more possessive toward their partner. This is consistent with ideas regarding the effects of sexual selection on mate guarding.

Digit ratio studies seem to come out every week now, with similar conclusions that the amount of testosterone or estrogen we are exposed to in our mothers’ wombs has real world consequences for how we act as adults when searching for a mate and settling into relationships. It is strange but true that you can tell quite a bit about a person’s character — barring exceptions, of course — by simply eyeballing the ratio between his or her ring finger and index finger. Cultural conditioning, my ass.

Studies like this one are anathema to feminists (for the obvious reasons), but they should give practitioners of the crimson art of game pause, too. For if digit ratio alters women’s behavior toward men and her fidelity within relationships, then game will have to adapt to those realities.

Examine, for instance, the second conclusion in that study abstract above. Women resist mate guarding by high digit ratio (i.e., feminized) men; in layman’s terms, women give feminine men more shit when those men act possessively. More masculine men, therefore, can better get away with possessively jealous behavior. A well-versed student at Le Château Institute for Advanced Poon Studies would slyly remark that it makes perfect sense when you consider that women would be more likely to want to step out on a feminized beta male to get impregnated during the ovulation part of her cycle by an alpha male. A very jealous beta boyfriend would throw an annoying monkey wrench in her subconscious plans.

Also note that the female resistance to mate guarding by the male is *stronger* when she has already cheated. Gentlemen, if you have discovered cheating by your girlfriend or wife, kick her out immedaitely after throwing her shit on the sidewalk. Ignore her desperate entreaties to the contrary; it is already too late to save your relationship or marriage.

In addition, the study found that high digit ratio (i.e., highly feminine) women are more possessive of their boyfriends. Why would this be so? Presumably, feminine women would have more options on the dating market, so they would have less reason to be possessive within a relationship. But you have to look at both sides of the couple equation. Feminine women likely partner with masculine men — sexual polarity is the most potent attractant in the known universe, besting even black hole gravitational pull — and these are the kind of men who have more opportunity to cheat when the cheatin’s good.

Similarly, it would not surprise me to learn that feminine betas often wind up with masculine women who take charge of the development of the relationship. The problem that presents itself to these betas is that masculine women are going to find it harder to keep strange cock out of their panties when the ovulation bell rings.

What does this have to do with game? Well, we know that feminine men will have a harder time keeping their women in line, and feminine women will be easier to game into strict relationship fidelity. Possessiveness often gets a bad rap in the cultural mainstream, but ask yourself this: Would you rather deal with an overly attentive girlfriend easily aroused to jealousy, or a stand-offish “girlfriend” with a wandering eye? Which girl will give you better, and more frequent, sex?

From experience, I can tell you that girlfriend possessiveness, while annoying at times and dangerously apt to blossom into full-blown stalker-itis if improperly managed, is far more amenable to game and psychological ploys designed to minimize its worst aspects than girlfriend aloofness.

A masculine, aloof girlfriend is the beta boyfriend’s second worst nightmare (his first is involuntary celibacy). This type of girl will chew him up and spit him out, twice on Sundays, and this goes double for betas without a clue. A beta with tight game — which, by definition, will bump him into lesser alpha territory — can keep a masculine, low digit ratio girlfriend’s faithless instincts in check, but it will cost him regular peace of mind. He may decide she is worth the aggravation if she’s hot enough.

Alpha males have to deal with possessive, feminine girlfriends more than beta males do, so their perspective on that specific manifestation of female behavior may be skewed toward less tolerance for it. This is why you will often hear natural players complaining bitterly about clingy girlfriends who cramp their alleycat style, the gender opposite of masculine women who seethe with contempt for their clingy, beta boyfriends.

As a follower of the tenets of game, you have to take two critical presumptions into account when you venture into the field.

1. As a man, do you tend to the less aggressive or more aggressive end of the male behavior spectrum? Your digit ratio will give you a clue as to which way you lean. If more aggressive (lower ratio), you may want to shoot for women with lower ratios as well, since they will be less possessive of your time and attention, freeing you up to fool around. If you are less aggressive by temperament, you will want to screen for feminine women with higher digit ratios, as these types of women will be more easily gamed into loyal relationship material.

2. Are you looking for a fling or a girlfriend? If the former, target low digit ratio girls. If the latter, go with high digit ratio girls.

Returning to the title of this post, I surmise that masculine, low digit ratio women are harder to game because they are less possessive and more prone to cheat than feminine women. A lack of possessiveness means that a whole suite of game strategies that deal specifically with arousing jealousy and instilling a fear of loss will not work as well on women who don’t get jealous very easily by nature. Similarly, game tactics which inspire love, and, hence, loyalty, in women will be less effective on masculine women with stronger drives to cheat and slut it up.

My experience confirms this hypothesis. Think of masculine women as quasi-men. How well does game work on men? Not very well. It stands to reason that game will have less impact on women who have the psychology of men.

Luckily, most men prefer the company of more feminine women, particularly for LTRs. If she’s a fling, then it doesn’t much matter if she craves random cock once a month, or likes to scratch her belly while watching football.

This is not to say that game is useless on masculine women. In fact, many early game tactics work better on women with oversized clits. A masculine woman is probably a pro at brushing off betas, and it’s a good bet she has the broad but shallow ego of a man. As a result, negs will work particularly well on her kind, and the happy surprise of being on the receiving end of brazenly cocky game will catapult her straight past the comfort zone and into your bed.

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Dealing With Nasty Bitches

Every so often, you’ll encounter a really nasty, bitchy piece of work while on your pickup adventures. Her shit tests will be more insulting, her attitude will be meaner, her barbed questions will sound like an interrogation for the benefit of her friends. Through no fault of your own, she’ll come down on you as if you were the ex she’s hated ever since he dumped her over text.

Typically, the advice in these scenarios is simply to smile and say “nice talking to you” and bail. Nothing wrong with that, and it certainly beats lashing out in anger by calling her a bitch in response. But sometimes… sometimes… your balls grow three sizes and you feel a need to exact the pain of a psychological mindfucking. Good news. All it takes is one short line to subvert her bitchy self-satisfaction, like verbal jujitsu.

“Oh, so you’re one of those.”

Spoken without anger, with a completely neutral facial expression, the beauty of this line becomes apparent. It gets under her skin without diminishing your social grace, it chastens her in front of onlookers, and it forces her into your frame.

It also leaves you with multiple options on how to proceed. If she accedes to your frame — “What do you mean by that?” — you have room to maneuver into qualifying her should that be your goal. If she lashes out impotently — “Fuck you!” — you have the option to backturn and leave her looking like a tool.

That’s part of what being an alpha male is about: choice. You are not a pawn in other people’s choices. You choose, that is, you establish the frame, and others follow along or are discarded.

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Study Proves The Validity Of Game

A reader (a Ph.D. scientist, for those of you who yearn to believe only d-bags read about and practice game) writes:

…it is a delight to understand what motivates women and how to make sense of various factors and my previous dating life.   Your continuing incisive reporting has helped my understanding tremendously.

He attached a link to a study confirming YET ANOTHER essential game concept — that men’s attractiveness to women, at least in the early rounds of meeting, is based as much on, and perhaps more on (if you expand the criteria list to include all modifiable male attractiveness traits), their attitude and sociosexual-related personality dimensions (i.e., their game) as on their looks. Taking the usual caveats about speed dating studies into consideration (which the authors discuss), you really should read the entire paper, because there is so much in there that confirms just about every Chateau maxim in the whole.

men’s sociosexuality was attractive to women and showed incremental validity over and above men’s physical attractiveness (see Table 3)…

Interestingly, there is evidence that all these [male attractiveness attributes] can be accurately judged in short periods of time…

However, only sociosexuality added incremental predictive power over and above physical attributes in the current study. Unexpected was that sociosexuality emerged as a relative powerful predictor of men’s popularity to women, particularly because women largely expressed a long-term mating interest. A possible explanation is that male sociosexuality indicates a history of successful mating experience or mating skills that are attractive to women.

Sociosexuality is basically a psychological term that, in this context, defines the personality and temperamental characteristics of a man who has game, and encompasses such time-tested game concepts as preselection, confidence, assertiveness, cockiness and, well, pretty much everything listed in the 16 Commandments of Poon at the top of this blog.

Game is notoriously difficult to measure scientifically in the field, so sociosexuality serves as a comparable substitute for measuring the traits that are common in men who are good with women. Think of sociosexuality as more of an indrect indicator of overall game proficiency, rather than as a measurement of familiarity with specific game tactics.

The takeaway lesson of this study is a powerful one: women, sluts and saints alike, are really attracted to men with high sociosexuality, otherwise known as game/charisma/chemistry.

This is about as close to scientific proof of the effectiveness of overarching game proficiency to mating success as I’ve yet seen in the literature. To be sure, there are plenty of studies confirming the efficacy of specific and narrowly-defined game tactics, but not many that have found a positive correlation between men who embody game as a personality trait and their success with women. This is why I think the study’s authors were a bit surprised by their results pointing to sociosexuality as a major player in male attractiveness.

What other stone cold but soft on the inside Heartiste truths are buttressed by this study?

– Older men have higher sexual market value, while older women have lower SMV. This is reflected in their choosiness. Older men are like aged single malt scotch; they command a higher price. Older women are like milk; they hit their expiration fast and no one wants them:

As Figure 1 shows, men’s choosiness increased and women’s choosiness decreased with increasing age. […] The higher choosiness of women that is ubiquitous in studies of young adults decreased and even tended to reverse for older women.

– The 463 bullet point checklist that women carry in their heads when they meet a man is true and relevant:

[…] females based their choices on more criteria than men did…

– Women had best be hot or they aren’t getting much attention from men with choices:

[F]or women only facial attractiveness [increased the frequency of matches]…

– The higher your sexual market value, the choosier you are (and this goes for men as well as women, although, surprisingly, it seems to be more true for men at the very right tail of the SMV curve, possibly because very high mate value males are rarer than very high mate value females):

As expected, many of the attributes that made individuals attractive were negatively related to the frequency of choices (see Table 3), and thus positively related to choosiness (Hypothesis 2a).

– Being a niceguy is a tingle killer (or, at best, a non-tingle generator), as is having nerdy or beta traits like shyness and conscientiousness. (In contrast, shyness in women is not a bad thing for them.):

The expected negative effect of shyness was also confirmed but reached significance only for men. As expected by Hypothesis 1a, agreeableness had no effect on being chosen by either sex.

– Women are the choosier sex, but men exercise choice as well:

On average, male participants were chosen by 3.6 females (32% of their 11.2 dating partners), female participants were chosen by 4.1 males (37% of their dating partners).

– Men are more interested in short term mating opportunities than are women:

Confirming hypothesis H4b, the sex by interest interaction was due to the fact that men reported more short-term interest than women… and this effect was due to a higher variance of short-term interest in men than in women.

– The icy hell of LJBF banishment is real, beta orbiting and sycophancy will not get you sex, pushing for sex sooner rather than later is a better pickup strategy, and acting like a beta provider who wants a relationship will have no effect on women’s interest in you for either sex or LTRs:

As Table 4 indicates, Hypothesis 4d was fully confirmed. Women had a preference for having sex with men who pursued more a short-term mating tactics but did not tend to develop a romantic relationship with them, whereas the long-term interest of men did not influence women’s mating or relating.

– Game, and other attraction triggers, work on all kinds of women, even women who are very dissimilar to you:

Together, these findings suggest that similarity effects are weak in studies of brief real dating interactions.

– Men really do prefer to invest more in women who aren’t slutty:

Conversely, men had a preference for relating with women who pursued more a long-term mating tactics but did not tend to have sex with them…

Ignoramuses (paging Amanda Marcotte) who think evolutionary psychology doesn’t tell us anything useful about male-female mating and relationship dynamics will blow an aortic valve if they stumble across this post.

Our analyses were based on numerous evolutionarily informed hypotheses. Most of these hypotheses were confirmed and were consistent with earlier dating studies, lending further support to evolutionary accounts of human dating, mating and relating.

I can just hear the wailing and see the rending of garments of all the anti-game haters and feminists reading this study. May your suffering burden you this holiday season with the cursed tidings of a full-blown mental breakdown!

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Freeze Frame: Controlling The Conversation

Frame control is the sinew and gristle of inner game. The importance of owning the frame can’t be understated. It’s how the media gets you to believe their angle of the story, it’s how politicians demonize opponents and their constituents, it’s how academic shysters establish the bounds for acceptable debate, and it’s how experienced seducers communicate their higher status and unflappability to women.

A proper definition as it pertains to pickup should help clarify the concept:

A frame is a system of interpretation that an individual or group uses to understand a certain event/situation.

Frame is important in pickup, because it communicates the PUA’s mindset as well as the underlying psychology behind his words and actions. For example, Swinggcat advocates a “prizing” frame, whereby the PUA always assumes the girl is interested in him as the prize. In this frame, a chick can say, “I really like the tie”. The PUA can respond, “Thank you, slow down a little bit. At least buy me a drink before you hit on me like that.”

A funny example of re-framing is when Borat wears his famous swimsuit to the beach, and the reporter comments, “Borat, those trunks seem a little small for you”. Sasha Cohen pauses, and then promptly responds, “Ah… thank you!”. The reporter’s expression to contain a laugh thereafter was priceless.

[…]

“Framing”, [or frame control], in the context of media studies, sociology and psychology, refers to the social construction of a social phenomenon by mass media sources or specific political or social movements or organizations. It is an inevitable process of selective [ed: seductive!] influence over the individual’s perception.

In pickup, as with mass media, there are always certain levels of interpretation of a specific event that can be reframed based on frame control, and your emotions and conviction in your beliefs.

If you are not framing your conversations with women, you are leaving yourself vulnerable to hijacking by her hypergamous mating module. Power abhors a vacuum, and so does an undirected woman free to interpret anything you say in any way she sees fit. Framing a conversation in your favor is taking the initiative; failure to control or at least massage her perception of you exposes you to unfavorable reinterpretations of your attractiveness.

Maxim #45: Any conversation with a woman that is not explicitly framed by you to maximize your perceived status will lead to her forming a negative perception of your value over time.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. I was taking a girl back to my place, a new place I had just moved into. There were boxes and piles of junk everywhere. It looked like a bomb went off. I knew any girl would balk at the mess, and that if I was in any way defensive about it, our vibe would be killed.

When she walked through the door, her expression flashed a hint of disgust. In the living room, she hesitated to take off her coat.

“Is it always like this?”, she asked as she stepped backward a bit.

I wasted no breath explaining myself.

“The door’s right there, if you want to leave,” I said with an expressionless look, while holding out my hand in the direction of the door.

“No, no, I’m not giving you a hard time about it. I was just curious.”

We had sex later on top of a mattress doubling as a bookshelf.

It helped my frame that I was in a pensive mood when she came over. I was in no state of mind to impress a girl, and it showed. Had I explained that I had just moved in and was busy fixing the place up, or made apologies for the mess, she would have had mental room to reassess her attraction for me. Remember, girls don’t operate in a logical universe; they abide their emotions first and foremost. My calm, implicit dismissal of her negative frame and replacement with my own indifferent frame kept her attraction strong.

Here are some more examples of excellent pickup reframes. When girls ask me if I’m a player, I usually get the best responses from them by agreeing and amplifying (“oh yeah, the biggest, I hope you’re OK with harem duties”) or by accusing them of having a history falling for players, which has the benefit of oftentimes being true of girls who like to ask that question (“you’re one of those girls who has a thing for players, aren’t you?”).

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Seducing Women Is A Children’s Game

Here’s a little secret: some of the “routines” that pickup artists use to attract women are actually reformulations of children’s games. The games that you used to do as a child to annoy your little brother or sister, or the pig-tailed girl on the playground, are those same games that spark an attraction in adult women. Why? Because children’s games are essentially LONG FORM NEGS.

Following are examples of children’s games that you should play with women you intend to bang.

The Repeating Game

This is a classic. You repeat everything she says or does back to her. The quicker you copy her, the funnier it is. When you are repeating her words almost at the same moment as she says them (this requires a bit of prescience and luck) the hilarity will cause her BJ lips to flutter with giggles.

Almost no woman can resist the fun of the repeating game. You’ll know she’s really into it when she tries to pull a reverse psychology repeat by starting a sentence with “I”, as in “I’m a big doofus”, in which case you will have to repeat “I’m a big doofus” back to her. Just be careful not to overdo it. Wait for her to get seriously annoyed (her tone will give it away), then do it once more.

Tag

As the both of you are walking to a new venue, hit her on the shoulder or ass and yell “Tag, you’re it!”, then run away. If she chases you, she’s DTF. If she doesn’t, walk back with a look of disappointment and accuse her of lameness. Or use her non-participation as an excuse to escape, and keep running.

Stop Touching Me

Put her hand on yourself, then reprimand her by saying “Stop touching me” while pushing her hand off. Do this a few times, each time increasing the fake annoyance in your voice. “Seriously, stop touching me!” “Stop touching me or I’ll tell mom.” “Stop touching me pervy mcpervster!” “Wow, you just can’t get enough of this man goodness, can you?”

Simon Says

Girl: Will you buy me a drink?

You: You didn’t say ‘simon says’.

Girl: Simon says, buy me a drink.

You: No.

Sidewalk Cracks

This game is really fun when you are walking her back to your place for the F close. Announce “Don’t step on the cracks or you’ll break your mother’s back” and start hopping from one sidewalk square to another. If she joins you in the silliness, she’s DTF. The ridiculous fun factor goes up to 11 if you are walking with her on a cobblestone street.

Thumb Wrestling

Self-explanatory. Any situation will work. “We have to thumb wrestle for it.” You can trick her with the ‘snake in the grass’. This is where you cheat by using your index finger to pin down her thumb. If she punches you after losing, she’s DTF.

Some of you may be wondering when to play these games with women. Well, pretty much whenever you sense an opportunity. They can be played during the attraction stage as a way to tease a girl and disqualify yourself. Or you can play them while sitting with her on a couch and getting comfortable. They’re great mood lifters and routine breakers in LTRs. A woman would have to have a heart of stone not to get into the spirit of a fun, goofy game.

Children’s games work because children know how to tease. The art of teasing is lost as the years pile up and adult responsibilities deaden the soul. Teasing is extremely attractive to women because it signals you aren’t automatically impressed by them. Women love to feel like they have to earn the attraction of a man they are talking to, just as a man has to earn a woman’s attraction.

Another benefit of playing children’s games with women: they are probably the simplest way to demonstrate amused mastery.

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