The Mainstream Media Is Beginning To Accept The Truth Of Game

Yahoo, one of the most MSM-y of the MSM outlets, has a dating advice column that lifts techniques straight from the game literature. In order to stay ahead of the PC police, the author couches it in terms of attracting either men or women, but the reality well-known to those who are actually out there mud-deep in the scrum of the sexual market is that these courtship tactics are more effective when used on women. (Ladies, the only techniques you need to attract men for sex are the following: look hot. To attract men for love, you’ll need more than a young pretty face, but that is a discussion for another day.)

Flattery strategy #1: Get specific with your praise
Since daters often feel like they’re just one amongst a parade of people having coffee with you, demonstrate some genuine interest in the next one you meet to help erase that fear. “We studied the relationship between reciprocity and romance and found that if someone thinks you’re attracted to him or her, it increases that person’s attraction to you,” says Eli Finkel, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Northwestern University. [Ed: This is misleading. The studies on reciprocity clearly indicate that while women are attracted to men they think are attracted to them, women are *more* attracted to men for whom they are uncertain about the men’s attraction to them.] On the other hand, “If someone’s attracted to you but getting the sense that you’re attracted to lots of other people, he or she will tend to dislike you.” The upshot? Prove you’re picky (and that this person fits your high criteria). Then you’re well on your way to making this potential amour pick you, too. Reread his or her profile right before you meet up and tell your date exactly why it stood out from the rest and what you noticed first. And nix any mentions of past bad dates or other negative experiences, which can make it inadvertently seem like you’ll give anyone the time of day.

Game concept stolen: Qualification.

Flattery strategy #2: Create insider info between the two of you
You don’t have to be old friends to cultivate a comfortable rapport with someone. “Make references to things you’ve discussed or emailed about,” says dating coach Annie Dennison, Ph.D. “It creates a sense of intimacy and shows your date you’re really listening.” To really drive home that you find your date fascinating, ask for more information on details he or she mentioned in passing (“I know you like Jay-Z. Which album of his do you think I should download?”). Or tie together stories (yours or your date’s) with a follow-up line like, “Wow, that reminds me of what you were telling me about your trip to Costa Rica/your overbearing boss/football obsession.”

Game concept stolen: Secret world. (Most of the attendant advice in this paragraph is shitty, but the core concept is spot on.)

Flattery strategy #3: Congratulate your date
If you want your sweetie to really beam, show you’re impressed by a feat that he or she is especially proud of. “We did a study and found that when people told others about something good that happened to them and the person responded positively, it improved the whole experience,” Shelly Gable, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. So don’t just say “Cool!” when your date mentions a win like getting into grad school, finishing a 10K, or just getting an amazing deal at an outlet store. Get into it and ask what he felt when he got the news, how she reacted, which person he told first, or how long she’d been hoping for it to happen. Answering the questions will let your date relive some of the excitement — and associate you with an unexpectedly happy buzz.

Game concept stolen: Emotional connection. (Ignore the part about congratulating her. Just ask leading questions that get her emotions traveling in the right, i.e. sexual, direction.)

Flattery strategy #4: Compliment qualities that are unrelated to [her] looks
When you admire a not-so-obvious trait that your date has, it makes you seem super-insightful. An easy place to start is by connecting his or her job to a quality you appreciate. Tell an accountant that you’re always especially envious of detail-oriented people; tell a teacher you’re in awe of those who can motivate others. If you like what your date is wearing or how this person decorated his or her home, “don’t compliment the ‘thing’ — anyone can buy a thing — but call out what it says about him or her,” says Susan Rabin, author of Lucky in Love. Instead of the tie itself, praise the person’s individual style; instead of muttering “nice couch,” say you’re wowed by people who have an eye for color and design.

Game concept stolen: Ignore her beauty. Women want to think you are an exceptional man because you notice things about them most men don’t. A more cynical explanation: a man who isn’t affected by a woman’s looks is an alpha male who likely has lots of experience bedding women. And chicks dig preselected men.

Flattery Strategy #5: Emphasize your date’s name in your verbal responses

Game concept stolen: N/A. This advice only matters within context. Don’t blurt out a girl’s name until she has earned your recognition by asking you for your name first, and using it within a sentence.

Flattery strategy #6: Playfully tease your date
If you saw The Departed, you probably remember the scene when Matt Damon asks his date something like: “What makes you think I want a second date with you?” — then bursts out laughing. It turns out those childhood playground tormentors (“Ewww, you have cooties!”) were onto something. “Thinking someone is attracted to you is great, but our research also suggests that not being sure about it actually heightens the excitement,” says grad student Paul Eastwick, Finkel’s research partner at the Northwestern Relationships Lab. Hearing that kind of rejection can spike feelings of anxiety — then fill you with relief when you realize it was a gag. So if you’re sure your date has a good sense of humor, give him or her a little ribbing first: “Oh no, you’re an Aquarius? Shoot, I have a rule about that.” Not only do you get to have an instant inside joke, it sends a subtle message that you’re into your date enough to be comfortable joking about it. Just make sure you don’t tease about something the person’s sensitive about — that’s not flirting; that’s an insult.

Game concept stolen: The neg.

Welcome aboard, MSM! Glad to see you are reading sites like this blog and imbibing its wisdom. Who knows what you’re capable of now! Perhaps an honest look at the negative externalities of mass third world migration. Or tough, no-nonsense reporting about innate sex differences in athletic program participation and upper management representation. The world is your oyster.

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Feedback Of The Week

PA writes:

Speaking of “test of your Game”, one thing that had always tripped me up was when women made self-deprecating comments about their own looks. It’s a sneaky shit-test. So several months ago I asked R. how to respond to that. He suggested saying back to the woman “have you always been this vain?”

I was talking with a woman at work today, who made such a self-deprecating comment. For a moment I went blank — what the fuck do you say back to that — and then I recalled that exchange. So I said “have you always been this vain” in response, and her eyes lit up.  Excellent.

If a fat or ugly chick makes a self-deprecating comment, she’s fishing for sympathy. If a hot chick makes a self-deprecating comment, she’s flushing out overeager betaness. Either way, you lose by responding with typical mangina consolation; the fat chick starts to think you like her, or the hot chick thinks you’re an asexual niceguy.

First Rule of Game Club: Do not act like a gullible mangina.

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How To Deal With A Girl Gaming You

A reader emails:

Recently I have been gaming a girl who may intrigue some of the readers on this blog, along with yourself. An extremely high-T girl.

I met this girl in question at a party, where she came off as slightly shy and normal. I followed all of your pickup cues (luckily no shit tests, she came off as laid back), and I managed to get her number.

Here’s some background info on the girl. She’s a rower, 5’10” (I’m 6’2” so no worries there), a slight hipster, and very independent. Definitely high testosterone though.

Over the next few weeks, I built up some rapport by texting her and meeting up with her after work. Our time together is severely limited due to our schedules, so the texting part was needed.

The problem in this situation is the fact that she seems to be gaming me (waiting 20-30 minutes to text me back, being aloof, negging me, ignoring my negs/slight compliments, and just generally being strangely alpha for a girl) and it’s really bothering me. She seems to also be seemingly naive to most of my game, and reluctant to do anything.

She’s told me in the past she really enjoys being around me and she’s never felt the same way about a guy, but I am beginning to doubt it. I’ve tried not texting her yet she always texts me a day later with a typical alpha-type text.

She also recently went bitch-mode on me after I (reluctantly) asked the big question, saying that we aren’t together because I’m going back to school (about 200 miles away) and that she still wants to hang out.

I’d appreciate a response to this perplexing situation, and was wondering if there is anything I can do to remedy this. If there is nothing besides to break it off, I wouldn’t be devastated, but still upset, because this girl is a solid 9.

First, your email was unclear about your relationship with this high T girl. Have you been banging her? Or has it been texts and platonic hanging out since you met her? I’ll assume the latter, because it sounds like you are still trying to game her into sex, and that it hasn’t been that long since you got her digits.

Girls with male game — that is, girls who tease, neg (more likely insult, since girls don’t comprehend the subtlety of the neg), act cocksure, wait to reply to texts, show up late, and generally behave like a male player keeping a tasty morsel just out of their quarry’s reach — are usually the sluttiest hos or the most wicked ingenues you will come across. Male game is similar in some respects to The Rules, so this post is an indictment of that female mentality as well.

It may have been said somewhere on this blog already (and I suspect it has), but girls who play a man’s pickup game are drama queens who substitute the thrill of psychological manipulation for the emptiness of their gutted hearts. With each additional cock she rides, a bit of a girl’s soul is carved out and filled with a craving for external validation, which can only be satisfied by encouraging men to chase her. The magic of falling for a man and joyously relinquishing her body to the passions of sex are diminished with each new phallus, until one day her loins overdose and nothing short of a massive injection of head games will suffice to pleasure her.

If you insist on pursuing these types of women, here are some tips:

1. Don’t let her take control of the conversation. Be proactive. Never get caught in the endless spin cycle where you are reacting to all her shit tests. Ignore her taunts and change the subject often. This type of woman needs you to lead her away from her shitty attitude. She loves nothing more than to entrap you in an endless volley of flirty, but sexually fruitless, back and forth.

2. Don’t be shy about using severe negs on her. She can take it.

3. Don’t let her get a head of steam. Interrupt her when she’s about to go off on her own private Shedaho. Imply that her banter is dull and can only be rescued by switching to what you wish to talk about.

4. Use backturns liberally. She’s going to lash out when she sees you not falling for her tricks. Don’t fold like a cheap lawn chair. Hold your frame. When she gets especially unpleasant, make it known that you could do without her company. Then watch her soften.

5. If she punches, you roundhouse kick. For example, if she replies to your text one day later, you reply to her text one week later.

6. Do not react to either her negs or her compliments. Yes, it’s true, the compliment is a more effective snare than the insult in a woman’s arsenal. Reason being that many men with game who can swat away female insults tend to fall hard for sweetly delivered compliments. If you show the slightest hint that her compliment is meaningful to you, she knows she has you back in her sticky web.

7. Don’t jump to respond every time she contacts you. When she sends that text out of the blue, ignore it. You want her to dance to your tune, not the other way around.

8. If she goes bitch mode on you, walk away. She is impervious to reason or game at that point, and all she will understand is total rejection.

9. When you set up a date, TELL her where and when you will meet. Don’t make suggestions. If she balks, cut her loose. Don’t even reply to her if her answer is anything less than enthusiastic commitment to the date.

10. Occasionally be sincere. Sometimes you can stun a gaming girl into receptive submission by simply asking, in your calmest voice, “Why are you this way?” Be prepared for indignation. Stay strong, and give her the cold shoulder if she fumes too much.

11. Jump out ahead of her. Cancel the first date. (But give a quasi-plausible reason for doing so; just suspicious enough that it caffeinates her hamster.)

The most effective counterattack to the girl with male game is the winning combination of jealousy and scarcity. Don’t make yourself available to her, and do make it seem like she is just another chick in a long line of chicks who service you.

Remember that a girl who is running hardcore male game on you likely acts this way to most men, so don’t take it personally. She is hard to please, but her superficially tough shell is brittle once you know how to play her. She sees herself in the role of Joan of Snark, an entitled advocate of pussycentric physics, and she harbors a secret loathing for male desire, and wishes to trivialize it, or trifle with it. You want to focus on raising your value, and tactically lowering her value, so that she begins to think she would be missing out on something if she continues down the path of irksome aloofness.

Girls who think they can snag alpha males by using the kind of game that guys run are in for a rude awakening. Men with options will find these kinds of girls very annoying and use them as pump and dumps, and save their love for girls who know how to run real girl game.

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Conversational Momentum

A consequence of being a man is that it’s your burden to energize and direct conversations with girls. A girl who is on the fence about you will offer little in the way of chatty tokens to cash in for new topics of interest. Even a girl who is interested will hardly put in equal effort at sustaining a conversation beyond the meagerest bounds of politesse. It is simply not in the nature of girls to direct and lead conversations along fruitful paths. As with sex, girls prefer to follow a strong conversational leader, and to ricochet joyously off a charismatic man’s titillating badinage.

And this is one of the great blind spots that dog the typical man engaged in flirty talk: he doesn’t know when enough is enough.

To wit: I noticed a lot of commenters to this post, in describing how they would continue gaming bikini-clad girl, felt it necessary to revisit the invisible shark theme which had threatened to be the denouement of the protagonist’s precious few minutes of lust-hued inquisitiveness. Such a course of action would have been a misjudgment, and guaranteed the fizzling of any nascent sexual interest.

Women (normal women, that is; not nerdgirls who make up the majority of their gender who read blogs not having to do with celebrity gossip or food) do not like to revisit conversational topics, to hammer them into submission, to delve into them with an analytical scalpel. Women instead (and particularly in the company of men who aspire to be their lovers) want to careen from one subject to another, getting their emotional fill in superficial bursts of topical teasers. This way, they are entertained without risking social embarrassment from uncouth scrutiny. And they can afford to be thus so entertained and carelessly unenlightened, blessed as they are by providence with the more valuable reproductive cargo.

Men evince, like so many other sex differences seemingly the genesis of some creator prankster, a preference for just the opposite. We prefer to examine a topic until its entrails have been spooled out on the ground before us, poked and prodded with mental instruments of logical brutality, until revelation or argument victory, whichever comes first, descend upon the listening attendees like trumpet blares. Men will, given free rein, exhaust a topic to death, for to leave a theme unresolved is akin to walking off the baseball diamond in the bottom of the ninth with the score tied, happy that no one goes home a loser. A clear WTF moment if you sport a couple of dangling stones.

Unfortunately for the needs of the penis, this manly urge to disembowel a conversational topic is kryptonite to picking up women. To a woman’s mind, it reeks of social clumsiness at best, aspie retardation at worst. And since it is primarily women’s minds, and not their eyes, to which men must appeal, the “beating a topic to death” syndrome is one that must be recognized with haste and banished with malice aforethought.

To put it in algorithmic form easily understood by the core audience:

Bad Flirting

YOU: Topic A

HER: HAHA!, slight twist on Topic A

YOU: Resurgent Topic A

HER: ha…, slipping interest in Topic A

YOU: Topic A again, nervously, this time with feeling

HER: cya

Good Flirting

YOU: Topic A

HER: HAHA!, slight twist on Topic A

YOU: Opportunistic springboarding from twisted Topic A into Topic B

HER: Double HAHA!, pleasant surprise at introduction of Topic B

YOU: NEG

HER: rosy vulva

I hope you can see what is going on here. If you can’t, may I suggest a blog more suited to your temperament? Perhaps a mommy blog? Or an economist’s blog?

Revisiting topics that initially garnered a positive response from a girl is try-hard approval seeking. It is the clarion call of the beta who can’t believe his luck that he said something interesting to a girl, and now feels the overarching need to suck the life out of it in endless sequels. Don’t be that beta. You lead a woman in talk as you would in dance, your nimble tongue the strong hand that gently but firmly guides her into new adventures.

Maxim #97: Do not tempt a woman’s withdrawal with conversational topic overkill. You made a funny, now surprise her with something new.

Caveat: The running gag is the exception to the above maxim. Properly executed (that is, delivered with long enough time passed between funny exclamations), the running gag can anchor a girl to your terraphallus. Caution: Easily abused by those lacking comedic timing.

The uniting theme here is the universal female desire for unpredictable men. The man who can’t be pigeonholed, who can’t be readily discerned like the mass of mediocrities she encounters every day, is catnip to her pussy. A simple pull of conversation into an unforeseen direction can mean the difference between boyfriend excuses and helpful reminders that she lives right down the street from you.

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An Important Lesson

If you notice a girl checks her fingernails by curling her fingers inward toward her palm, like a man would, you can bet she loves sex and will put out on the first date. She has also cheated on past boyfriends.

If she checks it with fingers outstretched, back of hand facing upward, she is going to be a drama queen with a heavy repertoire of shit tests. The more diva she looks when checking them in this fashion, the likelier she will make you wait more than a few dates for sex. A full ten seconds checking, turning her hand this way and that with nails glistening in the club lights, means she will flake on you.

A girl who doesn’t check her fingernails except for the most cursory glance, and despite your prompting, is a keeper.

You can get a girl to check her fingernails by mentioning something about her nail polish color, or the unusual way her fingernails grow and what that says about her. (Just make some shit up. For instance, “Oh, flat fingernails means you are very grounded.” Or, “Curved fingernails means you are hard to please.”) Watch for how she proceeds to look at her fingernails, and remember what this blog told you. Then sing silent hosannas to the knowledge dropped here.

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A Test Of Your Game

The Pacific sun glared off the sand, nearly blinding me. A shuffle at the small table adjacent grabbed my attention. A slim brunette had sat down and was reading a woman’s magazine, Self I think, or maybe Glamour. She reclined a bit in her chair, allowing the sun’s rays to hit her stomach more directly. She hadn’t bothered to wrap a mini-sarong around her bikini bottom; the stretchy material pulled away in spots from her waist, leaving a narrow gap between bikini and skin, like a portal to her nethers. It tempted an incipient chub.

I returned to my lemon-doused water, keeping my peripheral vision loosely focused on her. Five minutes passed and not once did she glance over. This is going to be a very cold open, I thought to myself.

“Hey.”

She looked over, finally. “Hey.”

“The article in there…”, I waved my finger at her magazine, “about finding your man’s hot zones… total bullshit.” (Ugh. I cringed after saying it, but it was the first thing that jumped to mind.)

“You mean this?” She held up the mag. “Really. I don’t see that article anywhere in here.”

“Oh, must’ve been last month’s edition.” I paused. “I read a lot of women’s mags.”

“That’s… weird.” She’s turned her torso to me now, and I can see that she’s given me a minute to make my pitch.

“Maybe. But you’re not going to get expert skin care tips in Sports Illustrated.”

She scrunched her mouth at the corners. “Why would you need that? Sounds a little girly for a man.”

“It’s a new age we live in. Men have to look good for their female bosses. Now I know what you ladies feel like, to be treated like a piece of meat.” I kept a straight face saying this, and avoided defensively reacting to her edgy shit test. I wanted her to wonder right up to the last microsecond whether I’m joking or not.

She pressed her legs a little closer together. I took this as a good sign, because a girl in a bikini would start to feel somewhat exposed when talking to a man who is piquing her interest. Nonetheless, it required all my willpower to keep my eyes on her face and not wandering down over the rolling meadows and velvet gullies of her body.

She smiled for the first time. “Ha, I bet you do. So… is this supposed to be some kind of come on? Because, you know, I don’t normally talk to strangers at…

“Hold it! Did you see that? Shark fin. There’s a shark swimming out there.”

“I don’t see anything.”

“You might want to put on your prescription sunglasses. It’s pretty far out there.”

“I don’t wear prescription. Perfect 20/20 vision.”

“Oh, you looked like the bookish type who wears coke bottle glasses in the library.”

She shrugged her shoulders and cocked her head. “That’s the first time anyone thought that about me.”

“People aren’t very perceptive, in general.”

I’ve begun to feel that the time had come to start delving into more personal topics when one of her friends, a short black-haired pale girl, waltzed up and inserted herself between me and Magazinegirl. She looked at me briefly, to which I returned a nod in her direction, then hugged her friend and addressed her.

“Heeey, darlin’! We’re going to a late dinner at 9, and Debbie’s driving. You can leave your stuff at my place, but don’t use the shower upstairs. It’s cold water only.”

I sipped my drink and gazed at the middle-distance.

“Ok, I’ll be there around 8:30. Don’t wait up if I’m late.”

“Ok.” As she trotted off, she calls back, “Don’t forget to say hi to David for me!”

The dreaded pickup interruptus. The momentum lost by an inadvertent cockblock and a reference to a possible boyfriend, I pondered whether it was worth reengaging. Maggirl had begun collecting her stuff and shoving it into a gargantuan canvas bag. She glanced sidelong at me for a second, full of sass and flourish, signifying everything.

She smiled, or maybe smirked. “Well, I’ve gotta go. It was nice talking about invisible sharks with you.”

***

Now is the time to test your game. In this real life scenario, had you been me, what would you have done at this point? Winner gets my glorious recognition, plus two tickets to the movie Snow Flower and the Secret Fan. I will post an update describing how this pickup attempt resolved itself.

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Plan B

Roosh has a good post about date backup plans. I have little to add to the wisdom of having a Plan B for any first date, except to mention one thing I like to do. I sometimes have dates meet me at a bar on Trivia Night. (Yes, I’m a trivia nerd.) This is something I would have done regardless of the date, so I never feel like I’m going out of my way. This small tactical maneuver puts me in the right frame of mind of de-emphasizing the importance of the date. A woman likes to think that you have so many options that no one date means very much to you. Until she proves otherwise.

I usually show up before the trivia game starts and five minutes after the designated meeting time for the date. (Make it a habit to show up a little late for a first date. Women complain about lateness, but they can’t help being sexually intrigued by a man who flouts polite social convention.) If, on the outside chance, she flakes, I’m not out any of my time since I would have been there anyhow to play a game of trivia and drink good scotch. If the date doesn’t go well, I cut it short and head over to the other part of the bar where I can play. (If the girl awkwardly lingers in the bar after I say goodbye, I don’t let it fluster me. I know she feels a lot more awkward and will hightail it out of there once she sees that I have staked my ground.) If the date does go well, Trivia Night affords me an opportunity to have some fun with her, and showcase some of my most alpha trivia moves.

It helps to have friends who go to Trivia Nights regularly, because you can just join them in the fun, but it’s not necessary. I’ve played solo and with the staff, and joining other groups is not a big deal if you ask. Trivia Night is like a free love commune — superficially welcoming.

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