Confident Dork Game

Over at Roosh’s active pickup forum, there’s a discussion about a daygame video featuring the (self-identified) PUA Sasha. Here is the video:

For a quintessential example of the type of, what I call, confident dork daygame Sasha runs, watch his attempted pickup beginning at the 11:30 mark. Sasha clearly comes from the school of thespian PUAs. Very animated, to the point of hyperactivity. Even his hair is histrionic.

I don’t know what percentage of pickup artists selling their services employ this sort of goofy, theatrical game, but I’m seeing more of it in marketing videos released for public consumption. Sasha’s video suffers a shellacking over at Roosh’s forum, so I don’t want to pile on here except to note that in their zeal to push product and distinguish themselves a lot of the newer generation of pickup businesses are abandoning basic, fundamental game principles along the way.

For instance, little of the game literature advises men to specifically ask a girl if she has a boyfriend, which Sasha does a lot, using it as a springboard into a stacked routine.

Sasha: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: Why, yes I do.

Sasha: Is he a real boyfriend or an imaginary boyfriend?

Girl: Real.

Sasha: Name.

Girl:

Sasha: Oh, you hesitated. What does your imaginary boyfriend think of you chatting up guys?

Cute. But probably counterproductive. Reminding girls of their boyfriends, or giving them excuses to get away from you, would not constitute tight game. Mystery specifically admonished against asking about BFs, instead preferring to ignore the subject unless the girl brought it up, at which point he would evade or turn it around in a humorous way that demonstrated alpha cool.

There are some other things Sasha does that violate some core game concepts, such as crossing his arms when talking to a girl, speaking too quickly, self-deprecation, jumping like a sex predator or a circus clown in front of them, and excessive complimenting. Despite that, I’ve little doubt he bangs some hot chicks. (And credit goes to him for approaching mostly hot babes and allowing his failures to be videotaped.) Confident dork game, however ridiculous, will get you laid more often than no game, the latter of which is what 95% of the world’s men actually run. But the useful comparison is not between game and no game, but between different schools of game. And it is my belief that Sasha’s dorky direct street game comes up short as a learnable and effective game system for the majority of men.

55% of the general male population are introverts. (This number may be higher for men of East Asian ancestry and lower for men of African ancestry.) Introverts dislike striking up conversations with random strangers. Unlike extroverts, introverts become mentally and physically drained from social interaction, and this is compounded when they are talking with strangers. There is no way this group of men will enjoy running anything close to Sasha’s in-your-face entertainment monkey game. You can only bend a human being’s psychosocial profile so much before he gives up in disgust.

I doubt many *extroverted* men would enjoy spastic direct game of this sort, either. You have to be really comfortable with making a spectacle of yourself to pull off what Sasha does with any degree of success. (By my take, most of the women in Sasha’s video did not look as enamored of him as the chick in this video looked when Yad ran somewhat more restrained direct game on her. A lot of the chicks Sasha talked to had that rocking body motion going on, one foot ahead of them ready to make a break for it.) Confident dork game seems very limited in appeal, let alone efficacy.

Which brings up a point: there is an underserved market ready to be plundered by the pickup business which can capitalize on the specific needs of introverted men. These are the guys who make up the majority of warm bodies sitting in seats at PUA seminars. Naturally extroverted men likely have less need for game, so Sasha-type game really targets only a small slice of potential customers. The guys who leave bootcamps with a sour experience and demand their money back are probably the introverts who couldn’t shotgun approach thirty mixed group sets in a night without having a mental breakdown. They were forced to do something that stretched their comfort zone and their skillset too far, and they responded with resentment.

Good game should serve this group of men equally as well as the extroverted group. Indirect openers, confident but muted body language, sustainable talking points and plausible routines and lines that don’t sound outrageously contrived and don’t require a CV filled with acting experience to pull off should be the goal of most pickup businesses. In other words, the FUNDAMENTALS.

Truth is, I tried Sasha-type dork game… once. I felt like an idiot. The girl was nice enough, and giggled a little bit, clearly flattered and embarrassed by the public attention, but I got the BF line and that was that. Dancing around, swinging my arms, twirling, and peppering the girl with compliments and questions just didn’t seem to me like any sort of effective game technique. I returned to doing what brought me success most frequently: indirect game.

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Softening Your Negs

In relationships, the neg has to be toned down. A girl in love with you will easily misconstrue negs and teasing in the worst possible light.

For example:

COCKY YOU: “I like your hair style. There’s beauty in imperfection.”

HOT SINGLE GIRL: [open mouthed stare] “Haha, I can’t believe you said that.”

***

COCKY YOU: “I like your hair style. There’s beauty in imperfection.”

GIRLFRIEND/WIFE: [genuinely butthurt, verge of tears] “What’s that supposed to mean? What are you saying?”

Negs are one of the most vital parts of game, and yet they are also the most misunderstood, and consistently misapplied, part of game. Aspiring PUAs tend to mistake negs for insults, and to use them on the wrong sorts of girls. Recap: Negs are primarily meant to be used on girls who meet at least two of three of the following criteria:

1. She’s a 7 or higher (8 or higher if you could conceivably intimidate girls upon first meeting them. 6 or higher if she’s an Entitled American Chubster living in a big blue state city).

2. She’s under 25, or under 30 if you are an older guy.

2. She’s not in love with you.

Once a girl has fallen deeply in love with you — the kind of love that means she has surrendered her ego and much of the insufferable female caprice that goes with it — she no longer needs daily affirmations of your higher value, something which the neg wonderfully fulfills early on when you and her first start dating. The Woman in Love (WIL) needs something else foremost; she needs validation. Validation that you love her back; that her love for you isn’t going to waste in a one-way mission. The neg which works so well to attract new women that you meet can backfire on you if you use it on an LTR who already loves you, because a WIL is psychologically groomed to overanalyze any word out of your mouth for evidence that you aren’t 100% emotionally committed to her. A woman in this state is fragile, ready to splinter into a million tiny glassy shards of sadness at the slightest provocation.

This is not to say that negs have no use in LTRs. Quite the contrary. The neg, and its generalized cousin flirty teasing, are never abandoned once an LTR is established. Any man who turns his back on the game which got him the girl is tempting the fate of a low down dirty breakup. The difference between pickup game and LTR game is one of degree, not kind. All you will be doing is lessening the intensity and the frequency of your negs and teasing once you have landed the girl, and throwing in a few more sincere compliments than you otherwise would with any girl you haven’t been dating for long.

Remember, the blissful state of ego-less love that a woman will experience with a man (and what a great time this is!) only lasts between six months and two years. Four years if you don’t have kids. So, yes, you can ride out this love bubble as a regressed beta herb who has virtuously forsaken the crimson arts and suffer few ill consequences, but the more beta you are the quicker you hasten the day when the love bubble pops, and the girlfriend or wife who couldn’t get enough of your love slowly finds herself annoyed by your kisses and cuddles.

An LTR gives you a larger margin of beta error, at the cost of insidious complacency. You can be more beta with a woman who loves you, but the downside is that you will be less likely to notice when you have reversed the sexual polarity and her feelings begin to assume a darker cast. A WIL won’t have a sudden conversion to lovelessness. What will happen instead is that your betafication will annoy her once a month, then once a week, then once a day, and finally every second she is with you. She won’t know why it’s happening — to her, you still look the same, still pay her compliments, and still shuffle off to a job every day — but something about your behavior which she can’t put her finger on is pushing her away. The anger inside her will compound because she’ll hate you for making her feel anhedonic resentment toward you, and for making her feel like she’s the bad guy. No woman wants to be with a man who makes her feel bad.

Zero game = woman formerly in love feels bad that she despises you.

Overgaming = woman in love feels hurt that you might not love her.

Like baby bear’s pickup porridge, find the right balance of game, (not too hard, not too soft), and you can extend the useful love life of an LTR beyond what most couples accomplish.

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Potential Rapist Syndrome

A crooked-faced atheist chick has set the net aflame with a tragic tale of threatening elevator courtship that could rival Caylee Anthony’s death by single mom. According to her, an inept atheist nerd propositioned her in a hotel elevator, which caused her to nearly faint with an attack of the vapors, like any equalist gender-normed feminist would do. In brief, a man entered the elevator with her at 4AM after a “skeptics” conference had ended, and proceeded to awkwardly and nervously ask her out to coffee, which she declined.

Yep, that’s the whole story. Riveting stuff, ain’t it?

But the important thing to understand is how Indignant Atheist Chick FELT. To use her words, she felt

Uncooooomfortable.

Poor dear. And then right on cue a chorus of feminist commenters chimed in with accusations that the awkward elevator man was a potential rapist.

For a replay of the characters involved, here’s a withering rundown of the sordid affair, including links to limp-wristed nancyboys who couldn’t wait to jump like little doggies begging for table scraps from approving feminists.

Potential Rapist Syndrome is a mind virus infecting the brains of put-upon feminists all over America and Sweden. The slightest effrontery by a man not immediately deemed a charismatic alpha male by the woman victim causes the virus to multiply rapidly, resulting in flawed reasoning that imputes the worst possible motives to innocuous, if unattractively nerdy, male behavior. Using the illogic of this mind virus, any action that a man takes in attempt to pick up a woman is potential rape as long as she feels it is.

Did he make her feel uncomfortable asking her out in the park? Potential rapist.

Did he make her feel uncomfortable asking her out in a bar? Potential rapist.

Did he make her feel uncomfortable asking her out here or there? Potential rapist.

Did he make her feel uncomfortable asking her out in a house? With a mouse? Potential rapist.

Did he make her feel uncomfortable asking her out in a box? With a fox? Potential rapist.

Richard Dawkins was right. This is female hamster-fueled solipsism to the nth degree. The growth industry of Entitled American Bitches is feeding this female martyrdom indulgence in believing the Western world is out to get them. Only a foul bitch so full of herself, so enamored of her precious biological cargo, could wilt at the imaginary prospect that any man who awkwardly asks her out is itching to rape her before the elevator stops at the next floor. Hey Indignant Atheist Chick, Hogwarts called; they want their magical thinking back.

PRS is very similar to PMS in its symptoms. Women lose all logic and reason to a flood of hormones and emotional hysteria, rendering them unsuitable conversational partners until the episode has passed. Do not under any circumstance try to comfort a woman in the throes of PRS, or otherwise try to redeem your “inappropriate” behavior to make her feel better. She will simply lash out with increased rage, incoherent to everyone but herself, other sufferers of PRS and thimble-chubbed beta wankers hoping to sneak in their pants under cover of empathy. A woman experiencing PRS hates the mass of bumbling men for not knowing how to properly satisfy her desires for interaction with an aloof and charming alpha male. Like the PMS victim, any attempt to assuage her irrational torment will be met with an icy stare at best, and thrown objects at worst. Pointing out the flaws in the PRS sufferer’s anti-logic will be perceived by her as an act of psychological war, an imposition of your rigid male sexuality upon her enlightened female vulnerability and purity. Proceed with indifference.

Maxim #48: The feminist loathing of male desire is at the root of all their complaining about men and the dating scene. Feminists, in their hearts, despise the freedom and longevity of male sexuality. And they particularly despise that freedom when lowly beta males attempt to exercise it.

Thus ends the cultural dissolution portion of today’s lecture, and begins the game portion. Given the above, it will surprise some of the readers that this blog holds little sympathy for Inept Elevator Nerd. Asking a woman out for coffee before you’ve won her interest is bad game. Asking her out in an elevator at 4AM when she has nowhere to escape is bad game. Doing all of it with the nervousness of a beta herb who hasn’t had any for years is ZERO GAME.

Direct game of the sort that elevator dude “ran” is best used in open spaces where the woman won’t feel cornered. It’s good pickup strategy to give a woman the feeling of being able to freely excuse herself if she finds your hard sell lacking. A woman is more likely to allow her intrigue to flower if the man who approaches her with directness knows that she values an easy out should she need it. It’s an implied understanding that only men who have experience bedding women will know, and women know this.

Indirect game is better for enclosed spaces like elevators where the first goal is to make the woman feel comfortable in your presence. (Some pickup artists have successfully run direct game in elevators, but it requires a healthy dose of charisma and cocky humor, as well as the social savvy to defuse the inherent tension of small spaces. For example: “Oh, wow, an awkward elevator ride, just like in the movies. I’m getting off in three floors, so I’d better make my flirting count!”)

A man who directly approaches a woman in a context that offers her an unmessy exit is, in the woman’s hindbrain, a confident man unafraid of potential rejection. This is a tacit demonstration of higher value that will immediately set the tone of the pickup in the man’s favor. In contrast, a man who directly approaches a woman in a context that affords her no quick, polite escape is, in the woman’s mind and likely in reality as well, a desperate beta who needs to corner a woman to win an audience with her. She will easily and seamlessly rationalize this awkward behavior on his part as the machinations of a rapist’s mind.

Whenever you worry that the principles of game will become too well-known and overused by men, just remember Inept Elevator Nerd. The world is teeming with men like him who have zero clue how women work. Your worries that game will increase the competition above and beyond what female obesity is creating for the few remaining slender chicks in existence are unfounded. Inept Elevator Nerds continue to roam the plains in vast, undifferentiated numbers.

When in doubt about the goodness and righteousness of game, remember the fundamental rule of female magical thinking, gentlemen:

Beta = Potential rapist.

Alpha = It just happened!

No further explanation needed.

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Winning Back Pissed Off Ex-Girlfriend

A reader asks:

How do you win back an ex girlfriend when she’s pissed off and not speaking to you?

You win her back by not trying to win her back.

I know that sounds cryptic, but it’s true. As soon as you make an effort to “win back” an angry ex, she’ll resent your obsequious groveling (which is what most “winning back” strategies that men employ amount to).

However, I will say this, it’s better to have a pissed off ex than an indifferent ex. Indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love. An angry ex can be gamed into a hatefuck, but an indifferent ex is already hopping on fresh cock. You are yesterday’s news.

So how do you “not-win back” an angry ex? See here. Executive summary: Avoid at all costs any post-breakup “talks”. Cut off all contact for two or three weeks, when she will be at the peak of missing you. At about that time you have a couple of options. Either call to say hi in your most nonsexual, friendly tone, and end the conversation before she does, or send a non sequitur text and she if she bites.

A lot of times, angry exes will come back to you on their accord if you just lay off them. Is she angry because you cheated on her or because you acted like a beta one too many times? If the former, she’ll rush back, vaginally itching to forgive you. If the latter, she’s already forgotten you.

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Style’s Attraction Amplifier

I occasionally like to give props to pickup artists when they have great ideas. There’s a reason Style — homely and short as he is — was nonetheless renowned as a successful ladies’ man. Here’s his idea for a great throwaway line that generates instant attraction or intrigue in a woman. (Scroll through the marketing BS to get to the video toward the end.)

Basically, you walk through a group of women (or a mixed group), make eye contact with the girl you like, and as you’re walking by her say “I’m taken”. I suppose then you can either wait for a reaction and linger to see if she bites, or you can continue walking past and meet up with her later after she’s had time to become curious about you.

Some haters will object, because that is the curse of their stunted little minds. “But if you sleep with her after you told her you’re taken, isn’t that lying? Anyhow, she’ll ignore you because she thinks you’re in a relationship.”

Get off this blog! Seduction is the masterful weaving of gossamer lies — manufactured drama purposefully designed to excite the female sensory system, in which both you and her are active and aware participants in the game. The logic of telling a girl you are already taken would no doubt escape those who refuse to, or can’t, face female sexual nature head on without head asploding, but the truth is that women are attracted to men other women love. Please go back and study the fundamentals. Start with female preselection. Educate yourself. A man in the company of women, or perceived to enjoy the company of women, is infinitely more attractive to other women than a man alone or with other men. The fact that such a man is “off-limits” is only a threadbare legalistic hurdle to a woman’s hamster. If she likes you, you can later spin “I’m taken” any way you want and she’ll buy it… because she wants to buy it.

The elegance of Style’s attraction amplifier is what is left unspoken. It assumes the sale, without requiring too much in the way of clunky verbiage. As the brazenly, irrationally confident man about town, you want to act as if every woman you meet is already sold on you. You come “pre-approved”. “I’m taken” insinuates that your target was interested in you and that it is understandable why she was so. It will follow like flowering labia follow tingles that she will thus become interested in you.

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Running Solo

A reader asks:

First of all, great blog.  A lot of the information conveyed here has been useful to me in consciously making a positive impact on my “gaming” skills….it’s almost eerie to think back and realize the times where I unknowingly ran game and was getting the strongest attraction without knowing why.

Anyhow, I’m more of an introverted guy….21, recently started going to bars on the regular.  However, most of the time I run solo.  I’ve lurked here for awhile now and gotten a good feel for game, but there’s still some psychological itch about not running with a group as often as I used to that makes things feel somewhat awkward.  I’ve searched the blog, but found nothing specific pertaining to “solo” game.  Are there any specifics that you would suggest keeping in mind when going it alone?

One specific problem I’ve run into is my age….a lot of the 23 + older girls seem to have their interest doused by hearing that I’m a mere 21 years old, even if everything else has been going smoothly.

I used to run solo at least twice a week. My best pickups (that is, the hottest chicks I banged and the quickest I moved the seductions to the bedroom) happened when I approached a girl or group of girls by myself. Unless you’re still in college, you shouldn’t be rolling with more than two buddies, anyhow. The more men in your group, the douchier you look, and the less courageous you’ll seem to girls who have to deal with wolf packs of sausage eyeballing them every time they go out.

The awkwardness you feel is strictly a fear based on how you will be perceived by girls. The act of running solo itself is not the cause of your bad feelings. It’s the fear that girls will think you are a loner without friends.

In my experience, this fear is totally overblown. Most girls don’t immediately lurch to thoughts about your lack of friends when you approach them solo. They are sizing you up and that is a function entirely of your game. When going out alone, just enter a frame of mind that you are the mysterious, dark stranger with a wealth of worldly experiences to share with someone worthy of your company. If girls ask about your friends, tell them you left them behind at a crappy party that was too pretentious for your tastes. Or just say you went out without them because they hold you back.

As for your age, my advice is to lie if you want to take the path of least resistance. It’s true that a lot of girls have a mental checklist that forbids them from dating younger men. Women are, by and large, viscerally attracted to older men. The cougar phenomenon is swamped by the older man-younger woman dynamic. If you don’t want the hassle of dealing with this constraint on women’s desires, then just fib about your age.

On the other hand, it’s a relatively simple subterfuge to neutralize an older woman’s objection to sleeping with you.

HER: You look young. How old are you?

YOU: You first.

HER: 23.

YOU: Oh, too bad.

HER: What?

YOU: You’re too young for me. I normally date women in their 30s. I find them much more interesting to be around.

HER: [massive self-qualifiying]

If you have good game, age won’t be much of a barrier to sex. Or love.

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StarCraft Nerd Has Cute Girlfriend

It might be time to rethink the assertion that video gaming is exempt from the maxim that every male endeavor has female groupies. Here’s video of an interview with a StarCraft nerd who, at 3:15, surprises the viewers when his cute girlfrined bounces on stage to be next to him.

If you are alpha enough in your demeanor and mannerisms, you can overcome the handicap of association with a nerdy hobby. Watch the vid closely. This guy — a Zerg champion apparently — emanates an alpha aura. Note the minimal time spent smiling. Or his slow, controlled body and facial movements. The way he keeps his chin up. Or the way he deftly handles questions, and the steady tone and timber of voice in which he talks. Note too, how he has spent some time buffing himself up. (He’s far from huge, but he’s done enough to prevent looking like the typical doughy nerd with a Cheetos moustache.) Listen as he trash talks the competition; this guy is a cocky asshole.

And finally, watch how he reacts when his girlfriend bounds next to him; no beta supplicating there. He stands firm and lets her nuzzle into his personal space. She is the one with exaggerated body motions, while he remains the oak tree under which she frolics like the nymphette she is.

Often, you can identify the alpha male better by watching how the women in his company react to him than by his accomplishments or his leadership skills.

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