Concept Is Not Execution: The Smart Man’s Handicap With Game

Many of the commenters here have a good grasp of game concepts. Some of you give excellent answers to game tests that the Chateau occasionally throws your way, showing a fluency with the fundamental psychological techniques that lead to better relations with women. However, understanding the concepts is not the same as properly executing them in the field. You can read all the game manuals you want, but if you don’t get out there and apply the tactics until you start to feel comfortable using them and, more importantly, until you start to *sound normal* using them, you are like the professor who’s respected in the classroom but mistaken for a bumbling homeless man in the real world.

A glaring example of this disconnect between concept and execution are the turgid, wordy replies that more than a few commenters offer as suggestions for passing particular shit tests and the like. Superficially, they comprehend the principles at play, but something gets lost in the translation. Just ask yourself when you write your comment whether any actual alpha male talks like that in the real world. Most of the time, the answer you will have to concede to yourself is… no.

This is why I strongly counsel readers to adopt a natural as a mentor. Books and manuals are one thing, but seeing it done in live action by someone who knows his stuff will rapidly boost your progress as a ladykiller. Personally, I’ve learned about 30% of what I know from books, forums and videos, and 70% from personal experience and from hanging out with men who were good with women. Note: these friends weren’t teachers; I was just a very observant lad growing up.

Wordiness and stilted language seems to be a big stumbling block for a lot of smart, presumably borderline nerdy, men who comment here. You write your examples of conversational snippets as if you were reading from an electronics manual or, worse, a clip from a James Bond movie left on the cutting room floor. I suspect this is the reason a lot of intelligent noobs to the game get shot down in the beginning — women are a little bit weirded out by the staccato rhythms and debate team formality of their speech. These guys aren’t losing points on the technicals; they’re losing points on style.

So, a word of advice: succinctness is the soul of cool.

Get out of your head, stop trying to formulate your sentences with the perfectionist’s eye toward proper grammar and logic, and start learning to get comfortable speaking with slangy informality. For examples of good game lines delivered with the right mix of attitude, concept and style, see any comment by el chief or el guapo. (If I left any of you out, don’t be offended. I’m too lazy to recall all of the outstanding commenters.)

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What Betas Can Learn From Women’s Rape Fantasies

In this post, it was revealed that a lot of women, the majority in fact, have erotic, and *sincere*, rape fantasies. Despite the claim made by feminists that fantasy is wholly different and disconnected from reality — an empty assertion easily explained by feminists’ need to handwave away any disturbing look into the female psyche — the more truthful explanation is that fantasy is a reflection of reality and hints at some deep, immutable desire. If feminists are correct that fantasy is different from reality, we would hear of women fantasizing about tender lovemaking with cubicle-dwelling beta herbs. But that is not the case.

The scientific evidence presents soul-shaking implications: many women harbor a secret desire to experience rape under the right conditions. What those specific conditions are will vary from woman to woman, (typically, an alpha male is involved), but the fundamental act of rape itself — nonconsensual and forceful — appears to be a turn-on for the majority of women. As the study showed, in their rape fantasies women were really refusing the man sex. It was not a token no. That was the basis for the fantasy. The pleasure comes from being overwhelmed by a man who pushes his way past her nonconsensuality. I know, it’s hard to believe, but there it is.

Women don’t like to admit to this little factoid about the inner workings of their ids, because they worry that the dissemination of such knowledge would hinder the prime directive to extract as much princessifying pedestalization from awed men as they can manage. Just as relevant: most women aren’t even consciously aware, nor do they spend much time thinking about, what exactly it is that motivates their sexual desire. They prefer, instead, to swaddle themselves in a cloak of pretty lies, for the best deceptions begin with self-deception.

Rape fantasies provide a shocking look into the craggiest crevices of women’s brains and what they truly desire when it’s just them and their private thoughts. What does this mean for the average well-meaning beta male, (who let it be known comprises the majority of male-dom)? Well, for one, perhaps a lot more betas would do better with women if they were more assertive about physically pushing for sex.

Before the IQ-compromised cunt-brigade and their thimble-phallused uptight white knighters storm in to shriek like menstruating banshees, it should be obvious to any person reading in good faith that being more assertive about physically pushing for sex does not mean rape. It is possible to push for sex, physically or otherwise, without crossing any non-consensual lines. Anyone who’s lived a day in his or her life knows that seductive escalation of the kind that women love will often blur the distinction between formal consent (sign here, here and here to proceed further down my panty line) and wary surrender (no, no, noooo…. yeeeeees).

Rape fantasies tell us that women want to surrender sexually to a man of tenacious and powerful will. Women crave the feeling of “being taken”, and no cautious beta asking politely if he may peer down her blouse or apologizing when she coyly reprimands him for sliding his hand under her bra during a make-out is going to hit that “being taken” button.

There are two ways to fuck up the fuck close: you can seem too eager, or you can seem too tentative. Most men, despite what women’s studies dyke professors tell you, fall into the latter category. They don’t push for sex early enough, or forcefully enough. Any token resistance by the girl is immediately capitulated to, and any move to up the ante is a humiliating exercise in trepidation and apologia.

In sum, the problem betas have is that they TAKE WOMEN’S SYMBOLIC RESISTANCE AT FACE VALUE.

Of course that is going to be a tingle killer.

Instead, betas need to do more of these:

– going for the kiss unannounced.

– issuing bedroom commands.

– never waiting for obvious signals.

– always escalating (but remember: two steps forward, one step back) to more nudity, more touching, and more erotic touching.

– not taking the first “no” for an answer. (Wait until the fifth or sixth “no”, and only then if the “no” is uttered with an unmistakeable tone of genuine recalcitrance.)

– moving seemlessly from bar to bedroom.

– never apologizing for miscues or misreadings of her acquiescence.

– initiating sex in unlikely places.

– getting comfortable with spanking, hair pulling and gentle neck choking.

– reappraising their date evaluation process so that a fingerbang rather than a peck on the cheek becomes the marker of a successful first date ending with a girl who didn’t want to go all the way right away.

– putting it in without the condom. (As Roosh has correctly noted, most women nowadays are more than willing to raw dog a new man after two dates. Likely this has to do with the emerging scientific evidence that absorbed semen boosts a girl’s mood.)

***

This is just a partial list. There are many more overly-cautious missteps that gelded betas commit which sabotage the trajectory of their stillborn seductions.

Now some of you may be asking, “Hey, what about that line Mystery advocated using? The one that goes ‘Would you like to kiss me?’, and if she says no you are supposed to reply ‘I didn’t say you *could*… you just had that look on your face.’ Isn’t that in contradiction to what you wrote above?”

It’s a clever little routine, and will probably work in most situations, but I have found through experience that it’s totally unnecessary. If you are winning a girl over with your game, you can silently go for the kiss without any warm-up or witty fanfare. I have rarely had a girl refuse a bold, unspoken kiss move.

Some others may then ask “What if she turns and gives me the cheek?”

Hey, it’s been known to happen, usually to guys who sloppily telegraphed their horniness, and thus their lower value. If you get her cheek, simply IGNORE IT. Proceed as if nothing happened, and reengage for the kiss later in the date. Under no circumstance should you acknowledge her cheek turn. Do not ironically mutter “Aww, shucks”, or make light of it with a flippant “That was awkward”, or crudely laugh it off with a “So that’s how it’s gonna be?”. Just move on like you hadn’t even tried to kiss her.

Any acknowledgement by you of her coyness, whether she delivers it in cheek turn form or some other false modesty-amplifying manifestation, will be received by her id central command as evidence that she is higher value than you. That is a side effect of female coyness, besides its primary function as a signal of purity.

Maxim #99: Female coyness is a purity signaler as well as an ego-boosting mechanism designed to reaffirm a woman’s sexual market value at the expense of lowering the man’s sexual market value.

Corollary to Maxim #99: Female coyness serves a secondary benefit as an anti-game strategy to make a high value man seem more attainable to a lower value woman, or to offer low value women plausible deniability for failing to attract the interest of high value men.

Letting her know that her coyness affected you is a major surrender of dating hand. Once a girl has successfully thwarted a kiss or sex attempt, and more importantly gotten recognition of her thwarting from you, she has hand. She starts to think that you are not worth her company, or she silently muses that she can do better, because you want it more than she does.

You do not want a girl to have hand if sex within this century is your goal. One of the golden rules of seduction is that half of the battle of bedding hot girls (hot is the operative word here) is lowering their value, and, yes, their self-esteem, below yours.

Maxim #100: The urgency and strength of a woman’s desire for a man is directly proportional to the degree to which he is perceived higher in value than her.

If you absolutely must say something after getting a cheek turn, there is one line you can say to a girl which works well:

“Aw, how cute. It’s like we’re twelve-years-old again.”

The beauty of this line is in the subtext: you are insinuating she is not sophisticated enough to handle her out-of-control emotions around you. Also, by using the word “we’re” instead of “you’re”, you avoid sounding accusatory. Girls like it when you pretend to non-judgementalism.

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A Bedroom Finishing Move

A lot of game material focuses on early game (attraction) and mid-game (trust), but comparatively little attention is paid to end-game (seduction). This is the phase of game where the girl has nearly convinced herself to sleep with you but needs you to pass one or two last-ditch, critical alpha tests before she can will herself to sex. It is at this stage that many men fuck up royally, activating her anti-slut defense because they sped up within sight of the finish line and pushed too hard, or they disappointed her by resting on their laurels like an asexual lump and pushed too little.

Blowing it during end-game is the worst, because you have invested the most at that point. You’ve taken her on a date or two, you’ve held long conversations with her, and you’ve plotted and strategized — imagine the frustration to have her within ejaculating distance of your bed only to see sex vanish with a poof as she grabs her purse and tells you what a nice time she had.

There are tactics for overcoming last minute resistance — take-aways, freeze-outs, preemptive coyness, preselection bachelor pad props — and all of them are good, but one very powerful bedroom finishing move often goes underappreciated:

Choreographed sexual leading.

Reader Dirk gave a good example of sexual leading:

My policy that chicks have to be naked to get into my bedroom has all sorts of benefits. Psychologically, it’s a take-away to tell a girl she can’t go in the bedroom, and I’ve had amateurs over for the first time immediately strip and go inside, which immediately led to sex. Even if they’ve been there before, it keeps the focus in the bedroom on sex. It’s also a dominance thing, since they are usually totally naked before I even have my shirt off, and often I am still fully clothed when they are already totally naked. To [pique] their interest, I keep the door slightly ajar, lights off, but with lava lamp on. I’ll also go in and out a couple of times to adjust the music and sometimes porn, since I run both off the computer in my bedroom, but I close the door after myself when I go in and out so the chick can’t follow me in to the bedroom while still dressed. If she does, its a good time to announce my policy. My policy announcement usually just starts, “you can’t go in there”. If she doesn’t responded with a “why not?” after a few seconds, I will then explain that “women aren’t allowed in there with clothes.” Of course, that line is a DHV. I live in a 1 BR apartment, so there’s not a lot of real estate to explore, so they almost always get curious about seeing the BR.

Last year, I had one chick over for the first time and I told her to strip outside my apartment building. She then walked 3 flights of stairs naked, walking past several of my neighbors’ doorways. She loved it so much, she insisted on walking back out to the car naked in broad daylight.

This is gold. Does requiring a chick to disrobe before entering your bedroom make any logical sense? Of course not. But since when do chicks caught up in the excitement of a possible seduction care about logic? Seduction is, first and foremost, about emotion. Your words are just a silky thin facade to cloak the subtext of sexual anticipation. She hears you say “You have to be naked to go in my bedroom” and she doesn’t say to herself “Why? Is he running an experiment that requires a fibre-free environment?”; instead, she *feels* to herself “Wow, that’s kind of hot. I’m getting wet.”

Dirk’s ruse is all about sexual overtones and displaying higher value through tacit preselection and leading the interaction. Women want to be led by men, and never is this more apparent, and more true, than two steps from your bedroom. Women particularly love when men tell them what to do sexually. It hits all the female buttons that crave submission to a dominant man. She will love you for making her a follower, and resent you for allowing her to lead.

Ordering a girl to change positions — note, I said *ordering*, not politely asking — is one of the hottest things you can do for a woman in bed. Have you ever noticed how a woman’s vocalizations will change and grow louder when you tell her to turn over and raise her ass to meet you? Doggy style is so sexually arousing for women because it is the most SUBMISSIVE sexual posture she can put herself in. She is completely vulnerable in that position. No intimacy, no eye contact, no visual cues — just her ass and your hand grabbing her hair as you thrust.

Dirk’s bedroom directions remind me of the dynamic at play between photographer and subject. There is a reason why women famously love photographers, filmmakers and other similar artists — women can’t get enough of being directed to do certain actions by men, particularly when those actions have a sexual flavor.

A couple had stopped on the boardwalk to ask me and my date to take their picture with their camera. I grabbed the camera and had them stand in a spot that I felt would result in a better shot. As they stood there goofily smiling, I told the woman to move this way and to drop her hand. She complied. I then motioned for both of them to take off their caps. Again, compliance. Still dissatisfied, I asked the women to tilt her head a bit toward him. She got flustered so I stepped closer and slowly brought my hand up near to her face and gestured the direction I wanted her to move. She smiled and her cheeks blushed a rosy hue.

After the shot, she thanked me profusely, saying it was good that they found a professional to take their picture. She let her eyes linger on me a split second longer than was appropriate for a brief meeting with a random stranger. I’ve seen that look before: it’s the look of a woman who is pleasantly surprised at the feelings evoked by the moment just passed.

Good end-game: Order, direct, challenge. Tantalize a girl with sexy role play. Make your move sooner rather than later, but always make it on your terms, never hers. She has to know you are a sexual beast with passion that could dwarf hers, but a beast who nevertheless won’t hesitate to roam for more available prey should the current quarry prove intractable.

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Science Confirms Another Game Concept: Older Women Need Less Game

Quite a while back there was a post at this Den of Delicious Sadism blog which explained how game changes depending on the age bracket of the woman you are trying to pick up. A few choice quotes from that post:

The 23-27 year old feels she is at her attractiveness peak, despite her peak having passed a few years earlier. This is because she is surrounded by many more high status men than she was while in college (or working at the Piggly Wiggly) who are expressing sexual interest in her. This social dynamic will work to inflate her ego beyond the bounds of her actual beauty ranking. Some consequences result from this.

NEG HARDER. The 23-27 year old will require harder negging than any other age group of women, even the hotter 18 year olds. She needs her ego punctured before her pussy will open for you. […]

The [31-34 year olds] are the kind of women who have sexual flings with college guys, because they can psychologically box those men in as “purely for fun” adventures. But the men the 31-34 year old women really want are the older, established men who will give them a marriage proposal and a family. This is why it is counterintuitively harder to game the older woman who still retains a vestige of her youthful attractiveness: she wants and expects so much more than the younger woman.

Game required: Strong body language, masculine dominance, sharp suits and shoes, easy on the negs and palm reading, emphasis on the comfort stage, lots of travel stories, disqualify yourself from sex on the first date, vulnerability game, avoidance of the beta provider zone. […]

The [36-38 year olds] are at peace with their spinsterhood and their failure in the dating market. A woman in this age bracket will acquiesce easily and gratefully to sex with very little game, as long as you don’t look like a grandpa. Her expectations are so low, it will be a challenge to disappoint her.

That post got a lot of feedback from commenters and emailers who saw in it a deep and profound truth reflected in their own life experiences. Haters, naturally, were livid with pent-up frustration that the mirror would be so impudently turned in their direction, but they at least could retire to their twin-sized beds and cans of cat food tumbling out of the pantry, soothed with the knowledge that no scientific study as yet had proved the bold claims made in that post. They felt they could glide through another day safely ensconced in their comforting lies.

N o t  a n y m o r e.

Reader quetal left a link to a very revealing study in the comments which, like other studies before it, confirms much of what is written here at the Chateau:

Tailor Your Approach to Your Audience: Data collected by Virtual Dating Assistants revealed that while women of all ages respond well to humor, women in their early 30s and above responded well to longer, more thoughtful emails that expressed genuine interest. Women in their 20s rejected these more serious emails, preferring even some slight cockiness – or what some dating coaches call the “Cocky & Funny” approach. In fact, one particular email that is long (over 150 words), expresses interest, draws commonalities (it’s always customized), demonstrates humor as well as a sense of ambition and adventure received a 9.7% response rate from women in their 20s, a 20.5% response rate from 30-somethings, and a 50.3% [response rate] from women 40 and above. This email, according to Scott, was sent to over a thousand women of different ages, so it’s pretty clear, based on these numbers alone, that a one-size-fits-all approach to online dating is a bad one.

Pwned.

You’ll notice that the study’s results square perfectly with the Chateau’s post quoted at the top. Older women on the downslope of their sexual desirability need less game and more signals of commitment to get them in bed than younger women in their sexual primes. Or, to put it more succinctly, younger, hotter, tighter women love assholes while older, uglier, looser women gravitate to beta providers.

The reason for this age difference in women’s reactions to game is clear: Older women have less sexual marketability and are thus more likely to be pumped and dumped by a high value man. Ensuring that the man sticks around is priority number one, so older women look for signs of herbly romantic interest of the kind that you might see a humanities department professor wallow in while stroking his weak-chin-hiding white beard. One of these signs is the long-winded thoughtful email with perfect punctuation. Younger women, in contrast, are playing with pocket aces, and can afford to indulge their animal desires for the aloof, alpha jerk of their dreams.

Now, as a man, which age group of women are you more interested in? Yeah, that’s what I thought. So… turn on your jerk light. Let it shine wherever you go. Let it make a jerky glow. For all the chicks to see.

This blog frequently gets lady commenters proclaiming to the high heavens that they would never date an asshole. After a leetle prying, it is usually revealed that these howling anti-game termagants are north of the Matron-Vixen line. And that they aren’t, how shall we say?, attractive representatives of their gender.

Of course older women don’t go for assholes as much as they used to when they were younger and hotter — their rapidly closing window of options means they can’t afford the risk of satisfying their carnal need for aloof jerks who are likely to leave them as soon as a younger prospect shows up. Younger women have these worries, too, but given their many years ahead of serviceability they don’t feel them as acutely, which explains why you often see the hottest chicks on the arms of the biggest assholes.

So if you want to bang broads teetering on the edge of witherdom with kids and marriage and college funds dancing in their dreams, go easy on the cocky and funny and the negs. The older woman’s ego has taken enough of a bruising from the encroachment of reality; your negs will only push her into self-flagellating withdrawal or indignant lashing out. She needs to know she still has the kind of looks that can turn heads, so your cloying flattery will work wonders on her.

On the other hand, if you want to date hot girls in their 20s and, for a lucky few of them, early 30s, you have to give ’em a bit of the ol’ ultrabadness. It’s the moral thing to do, if women’s pleasure is your business.

Executive Summary: Young women are harder lays. They require game and a cocky attitude. Older women are easier lays. They require flowers, compliments and cuddles. Don’t take dating advice from women. This goes double for women over 30.

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“Are You Seeing Anyone?”

A reader emails:

Really loved the “it’s complicated” post, and have found lots of versatile use for it in my life. Thinking about it though, I think it’s most effective with women new to you as opposed to women you have history with. I also don’t think it should be used as a text response. Some of my ex’s will hit me up out of the blue via text, usually playful messages, but sometimes with the direct inquiry “are you seeing anyone?” that only a woman (or clueless beta orbiter) would ask. While “it’s complicated” would now be my default response to a new girl at a bar if she asked the same, I think it sounds too defensive and pandering to an ex, as though you’re trying to hide something from someone who already knows you very well. [Ed: Agreed.] I also think it doesn’t have the same effectiveness if used as a text reply to anyone.

I went with this exchange recently:

aspirational ex-girlfriend: Are you seeing anyone?
(next morning) me: you workin for tmz now?

Good answer. Cocky and funny, jes like da ladeez like it. She also appreciates the haphazard attention to punctuation.

“Are you seeing anyone?” is a common enough question from interested women that the proper handling of it deserves its own post. (Rumor has it there are a lot of sniveling gameless betas who ask women this question when they first meet them. Pitiable creatures.)

If an ex-girlfriend, former fuckbuddy or platonic female friend who you think wants to revisit the good times with you, (or who simply wants to segue from friendship to sex), asks if you are seeing anyone, and you have decided that “it’s complicated” is not the best response, there are alternatives at your disposal.

1. Sincerity

“I’ve been dating someone for a bit, but I can’t say for sure she is the one.”

2. Lying

“No.”*

3. Evasion/Reframing

See: the reader’s reply above. Few women will follow-up an expertly delivered evasion with cunty lawyerly argumentation. This is because women who ask such questions don’t really want to know the unvarnished answer. The question is asked only to give them plausible deniability should they find themselves bedding a taken man.

4. Circumspection

“I’m dating around.”

This is my favorite answer, regardless of its accuracy. First, it shuts down further inquiry. Second, it leaves things open to interpretation.

5. Challenge

“I’m not tied down yet.”

6. Agree & Amplify

“One?”

7. Aloofness

“Nothing serious.”

Also a personal favorite. Girls like to think the guys they desire have no worries about meeting and banging women, or about settling down.

*”No” is not the ideal reply. Because of the power of preselection, you run a better chance of losing her interest if she thinks you are completely single than you do if she thinks you are getting pussy regularly. So even if you aren’t seeing anyone, you should massage your answer so that ambiguity is introduced to the dialectic. Women aren’t put off a man’s scent if he is seeing someone; if anything, they become more like a bloodhound on his trail. The only exception is when the man sings odes of love and devotion to his woman. Competitor women will generally** back off if they see that the man they want is truly, deeply in love with someone else.

**Before the fairy dust, pie in the sky, swoon brigade gets all gushy at this optimistic outlook on the female gender, let me remind the studio audience that I have observed, and experienced, plenty of exceptions to this rule.

Replies that you should avoid:

“Define ‘seeing’.”

Too goofy. Chicks don’t dig the goof.

“Not sure.”

Too indecisive. Chicks don’t dig vacillators.

“Well, I’m fucking someone, if that’s what you mean.”

Too visual and sexual. Chicks don’t dig braggarts.

“I’m married.”

Too final. Chicks need a window of opportunity.

“Aren’t you the nosy one?”

Too slippery and awkward. What are you hiding?

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Too abrasive. If she’s an ex who knows you well, this albeit funny line will close off further exploration.

“Why do you ask?”

Too defensive. Also, why would you step on her hamster right as its revving up for a glorious rationalization to sleep with you?

Commenters are available during business hours to help you with further suggestions.

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Denying Women Sex Is Psychologically Lethal

It’s also a fantastic game technique. As women are the gatekeepers to sex, it is implicitly understood that they will be the ones to choose when and where to give it up, and men, for the most part, fall in line with this implied narrative accordingly. And that is why they fail. But flip the script on women — that is, be the one to play hard to get, and the one to be coy about the chance for sex — and you will have mindfucked your seduction target so thoroughly she will find herself, against all her natural proclivities, working hard for your sexual lavishment.

Reader “Alpha Newb” emails:

I came across your blog about 3 wks. ago and I’m fully convinced it’s the best thing on the web for males.  My only regret is that I didn’t come across this damn thing about 10 years ago when it could have really helped me in high school.  Anyways, I’m a young male in my upper 20’s with a mix of beta and alpha qualities (now I’ve finally found ways to weed out the beta) and I wanted to share a success story after spending a couple weeks on your site:

My g/f and I were in a fight and then made up.  She started kissing me and I told her I didn’t feel like messing around, given everything that had happened earlier.  She said ok and the night went on as normal.  A few hours later she went into her room and came out in nothing but a thong, jumped on top of me, and started making out with me.  Now this is where I would have normally given in but taking things I had learned from this site I stuck with what I had told her earlier.  I pushed her off and told her she needed to respect my earlier decision not to get physical that night. She gave a bunch of typical whinny girl pleas until she finally gave up, whimpering and defeated.  When I was about to leave she finally let me in on what was going on in her head and here is what she said word for word:

“I’m just afraid you’re going to leave here feeling really empowered and I just don’t like that.”

Seriously, her words.

Need I say more…

no, but two days later when I saw her again she was begging for it like never before and I gave it to her and she enjoyed it multiple times.  The hamster had been in full sprint mode for two days and I could tell.

I am in debt to you my friend for your wisdom.

My g/f is as well for the multiple orgasms.

-Alpha Newb

Also, one more question, if a girl finds out you are running systemized game on her, is it systemized game over?

The empowered line is probably her hamster rationalizing why she felt hornier when you denied her sex. The underlying ancestral ape-brain reason has to do with your value shooting through the roof vis-á-vis her value, and how that dynamic arouses her beyond anything she had thought possible. She didn’t want to have sex with you to regain hand, at least not subconsciously; she wanted sex with you because your upper hand inflamed her desire.

It’s not entirely a rationalization, though. Women do feel worry — something akin to dread — when their lovers show signs of sexual apathy. A woman’s main relationship currency is her vagina and her looks. When those go, so goes the relationship if the man has any sort of dating market options at all. (If she has him legally tied and bound in the straitjacket of marriage, the relationship can linger for decades in an asexual limbo.) A man who has the presence of mind and the cool as fuck calm to deny sex to his GF is a man who, in her hamster-fueled mind, is halfway out the door, or even fucking some strange on the side.

Women, in other words, feel most empowered — and thus most secure — in an unmarried relationship only so long as they inspire uncontrollable lust in their men. A man who is on the fence with his sexual desire, or a man who seems marginally committed to investing his emotional and physical payload — that is, a man who has supernatural stoic control of his lust —  can extract all kinds of kinky sexual concessions from his woman. See: Story of O.

Given that, there is reason for women to want to maintain sexual hand in a relationship. While young slender women generally have options (if not an inclination) to fuck around profligately with any available loser, men don’t have that sort of readily exchangeable sexual barter. So a man who impresses upon a woman that he has options — through the game tactics of takeaways, push/pull, jealousy plotlines or sex denying — sets himself apart from the mass of men, and instills an excruciating level of worry, and lust, in his lover.

Denying women sex is a huge DHV. It’s also one of the simpler ways to instantly raise your value relative to her. So why do so few men avail themselves of this technique? The answer goes beyond mere horniness. Men are conditioned from pre-birth to play the roles of pleasers, toadies, wish fulfillers, suckups, courters, suitors, impressers, approval seekers and ego assuagers when relating to attractive girls. From the first strand of DNA, men have an innate compulsion to “win” women over. To win their approval, their admiration, their pats on the back. It is difficult not only to recognize this compulsion within each of us, but to upend it and do exactly the opposite.

And yet doing the opposite will get you more sex with hotter women. It is one of the weirdest paradoxes of humanity. Do you want to be one of those lapdogs begging for scraps from “empowered” women, or do you want women tripping over themselves trying to please you sexually? Have you made your decision for Lucifer yet? Then deny your GF, your date, your wife sex. Not all the time, of course. But enough times to keep her in a perpetual state of anxiety and heightened arousal.

There are many ways to capture the essence of denying sex without actually turning a girl down for sex as she’s straddling you in a thong. For instance:

– Cut dates short. Always end dates before the girl does.

– Get her lubed up with make-outs and finger banging, then stand up and announce you have to leave to get up early for a business trip in the morning. Watch the shocked look of unresolved horniness plaster her face. She’ll offer anal before close of the fourth date.

– “Not right now, I’ve got a headache.” It’s doubly effective when men use this line.

– Tell her you’re going to fuck her when you get home, and then forget to do it.

– And the most brutal sex denying method?

…

…wait for it…

……waaaaaaaait for it………

Abruptly stop banging her right in the middle of sex. Tell her you’re tired of fucking and you need some rest. Or don’t say anything at all. Just… stop. And roll over to sleep. Don’t sound spiteful. Everything is done matter-factly. This will fry her brain. Her hamster will be thinking about what it all means for months, maybe years.

Naturally, the above require a dose of self-discipline that many men either don’t have, or have never bothered to cultivate. Men’s horniness is leagues more intense and instantaneous than women’s, though women can reach greater heights of horniness with the right lover and given enough fulfilled preconditions. But hey, if you want to succeed at this game, a little sacrifice means a greater reward down the road.

To the emailer’s question:

I’ve never known a girl to leave because she found out she was gamed into bed. If anything, they become more aroused and intrigued by such knowledge.

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Found! Useful Relationship Advice From A Woman

Two women, to be precise. In a new book called “Stop Calling Him Honey… And Start Having Sex”, the two female authors dispense relationship advice that could have been lifted straight from the Chateau files. (Maybe they have?) For instance, they write that pet names are a surefire way to kill the sexual tension in a relationship.

Pet names — “honey,” “darling,” “super-snuggly-puggly,” whatever — need to be expunged from a couple’s vocabulary.

Calling your spouse your “pookie” or “huggums” flips a switch in the subconscious, and suddenly your husband or wife is no longer that hot, sensual creature you once lusted after.

“It turns people into an asexual, cuddly teddy-bear toy that you want to spoon with and watch funny movies with and drink hot chocolate with,” says Davis, “but it doesn’t make you want toshag them!

“When you first meet someone, you’re hot for them,” she adds. “You’re not going to be calling up, going, ‘Hi, Pookie Wookie, what do you want to do later?’ No, you’re going to be calling up and going ‘Hey, Richard, so what do you want to do?’

While researching their book, Davis and Arana say they found an interesting pattern: the worse the pet names used by a couple, the worse their sex lives were.

In turn, the couples that didn’t use them tended to have healthier sex lives.

Mostly agreed. Goofy, cutesy pet names or perfunctory rote designations like “honey” that are meant to serve as expedient shorthand for validating relationship stability are sexual tension killers. It’s better to give her a sexy, slightly demeaning nickname like, oh, “slut”, and for her to call you by your manly real name. The only acceptable nicknames that she may call you are “stud”, “daddy” or “Prince of Penises”.

The Chateau has written before about giving nicknames — as opposed to pet names — to lovers:

Nicknames are great. They establish the proper paternalistic male – frivolous female dynamic that is the foundation of all successful and happy romantic relationships. Plus, they objectify women, and almost all women, contrary to the shrieks of dusty muffed feminists everywhere, harbor a secret desire to be objectified by condescending men. Imagine a cock slapping a chick’s face… forever. (plz to make animated gif.)

So you should always give women nicknames, preferably more than one to suit whatever happens to be the occasion.

Some of my personal favorites:

Lovechop.

Little Miss Muffin.

Showgirl.

Sugar Walls.

Miss Minx.

Princess Peach Pit.

Puss n Boobs.

Tits Ahoy.

Twinkletits.

Jujube.

Cock Envelope.

Queef Latifah.

Ho.

Good rule of thumb: the hotter the chick, the sluttier the nickname. It’s imperative that you sexualize a hot girlfriend soon after beginning to date her. Hot chicks have huge egos and crave a man who will bring them down to earth. This bringing down to earth process involves basically treating her like a convenient wet hole.

I’d steer clear of granting mushy or sexual nicknames to girls on first dates. That’s a fast track to disqualifying yourself as a needy pervert. Those are best saved for later on. Early game chicknames should be more teasing, less sexual. Like calling her Red Carpet when she shows up overdressed to an event, or Grace Kelly when she trips on the sidewalk.

You’ll notice that, for the most part, the Chateau-recommended nicknames are sexual, and somewhat degrading, in nature. And that they are strictly a one-way nomenclature. So the next time your chick calls you “honey”, don’t insta-reply with your own “honey”. Instead, gently remind her to call you by your blood and soil name. Swing a halberd overhead for good measure.

Continuing with the subject of this post, the two broads also say:

Still, the authors say, pet names — and their insidious cousin “baby talk” — are merely symptoms of a greater problem: the “roommate syndrome.”

On its surface, the roommate syndrome might sound like a decent partnership: Spouses do everything together and share all the same friends, interests and beliefs.

“We all have this romantic idea, the whole Cinderella thing,” says Davis. “‘Oh, I’m going to meet my Prince Charming and we are going to talk about everything together and be together all the time. We’re never going to argue. We’re going to do absolutely everything in front of one another. We’re just going to be so close.'”

A bad arrangement, she says.

“A couple years down the road, you’ve done everything together, you doing everything together, you’ve agreed with everything and frankly you look at the other person and you think, ‘Now what? I’m kind of bored because basically I’m talking to myself. I’m with myself, I’m with the other half of myself.'”

And that’s when the physical part of the relationship leaves town.

Baby talk is OK, as long as it is the woman feeling a compulsion to speak that way when in the private company of her man. Any man using baby talk with his woman should lop — or rather, daintily snip — his balls off and mail them to a scientific lab to be studied under an electron microscope for possible application in nanotechnology.

The fact is, women regress to a vulnerable child-like state when all their sexual buttons are being pressed by a man they love. Baby talk is a natural extension of this WIL regression to a submissive childhood mentality. It can get a little annoying for a man to hear this type of talk too much, so women would be wise to check themselves before they wreck themselves.

Where the authors are correct is in pinpointing the roommate syndrome as a leading cause of bed death. The hottest, most sexually satisfying relationships are never with lovers who are your carbon copy. A good lover isn’t so different that you can’t stand each other and hate their hobbies, but neither is he or she so similar that you can predict their every dull move. Since we know that hypergamous, non-harem mentality women get bored more quickly with relationships (66-80%+ of divorces initiated by women, and most LTRs ended by women), it stands to reason that if you want a long-lived marriage or LTR you should aim for girls who:

a. close and lock the fucking bathroom door when they take a dump, and

b. don’t share your hobbies.

You should also be worried if you haven’t had an argument with your GF or wife in the past year.

You might want to reconsider moving in together, as well. Or, if you do so, to at least have a separate study where you can occasionally get out of her sight, and vice versa.

Moving along, the authors write:

“Sex is the glue that brings us together,” says Arana. “Whenever we heard a couple say, ‘We spend all of our time together, and we never argue.’ Those were the couples we found in our research that, yeah, they never argued and they spent all their time together, but they weren’t having sex either.”

Those are the relationships, Arana adds, that are the most vulnerable.

They’re right. Have an argument, save your sex life. Generations of credential-waving, platitude-spouting fembot marriage counselors and therapists have had their lives’ work reduced to less value than the paper their worthless degrees are printed on by avatars of real world experience such as yer ‘umble narrators of this blog.

Here is some more shockingly useful advice from these two women:

Close the bathroom door.

No using the potty in front of your spouse, ever.

“You want to check yourself,” says Davis. “Would I have [used the bathroom] in front of my partner at the beginning of the relationship? No way! No way would you have done that.”

No man wants to hear the toilet water kerplunk when his beloved’s stool escapes her anus. This is true for women as well… that is, women don’t even want to hear their own stool kerplunk. Women are a bit more forgiving than men are about hearing their lover’s kerplunks, because a gruff, gross animalistic man is a turn-on for women, in measured doses.

Argue more.

This is not fighting, but holding your ground, keeping your own opinions and engaging in some playful arguments.

“It’s just about keeping an opinion, and even flirting a bit with banter, Katharine Hepburnish kind of banter,” says Arana. “A lot of couples don’t do it. They are so afraid of a difference of opinion.”

Nah, arguing is fighting. No need to prettify it. They’re right on the whole, though. A beta male’s biggest shortcoming is his fear of offending his woman. Hey betas, newsflash: women WANT you to offend them. Not all the time, of course. But enough times that she is helpfully reminded of the alpha male she wants to believe you are. Sexual tension can be ramped up to incredible heights by edgy, borderline insulting banter.

Have your own friends, interests and life.

“We don’t mean go off and have a separate life or not communicate with your partner, but you need to constantly keep growing as an individual,” says Arana. “Why not take an evening class if it’s something you’re interested in?

“You have to keep growing as an individual and then bring that back to the relationship.”

See: Poon Commandment III. The Chateau is well ahead of you, ladies.

Build a few walls.

Keep things close to the vest a bit. Don’t share everything that goes through your mind, especially sexual desires.

“You have to maintain a little bit of mystery,” says Davis.

Mystery, unpredictability, dread. All these male traits and behaviors — learned or organic — conspire to make a woman tingle so hard for you that she can’t think straight. It’s a superdose, superinjection of dopaminx right into her limbic clitoris.

In short, don’t become her best friend. Become her best lover.

If you’re wondering… yes, they are mutually exclusive.

***

I’ve noticed a trend lately of books and articles written by women that are plagiarizing borrowing from the themes espoused daily on this blog. Smart women — realistic women, and probably women who have been burned by stupidly banal relationship advice one too many times — are coming around to the everlasting fountain of wisdom and truth that is the Chateau. They don’t say it with quite the same.. verve… that we do here, but their message is beginning to converge with the Chateau’s message.

To that I say, welcome ladies! Your left eyes are better.

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