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How To Text Like An Alpha Male

Reader “Marshy” is becoming the Chateau’s “text guy”. He sent in this example:

A recent conversation from my FB below, names changed to protect the innocent-

Marshy: I would totally fuck you in that wig 😛

Girlie: I look forward to it.

Marshy: I get back in a week, tell your boyfriend to keep you warmed up for me till I get back.

Girlie: I think “he” is out of batteries 😩

Marshy: c=====3

Girlie: 🙂

Marshy: c===============3

Girlie: Wow, someone needs to cum. I’m going to suck you off so awesome when you get back

Marshy: hang in there, lotsa cocka soon

Witty banter is for beginners. Be the caveman on 4chan. He’s real, he says things that amuse him. He farts in bed and hogs the blanket, he makes her feel virtuous and mature by comparison. She lubs him for it.

Long live “lotsa cocka”.

I like the haphazard attention to punctuation. It’s the little details that matter.

Some of you are probably wondering what’s so special about cavemanning a fuckbuddy. She’s already in his sexual orbit. (Men have a lovers orbit, women have a eunuchs orbit.) She’s not going to go anywhere, you may say.

Not so fast. That kind of thinking leads to complacency, and eventually to getting dumped. Game never rests, because female hypergamy never rests, that is until she has fattened up or aged out of options. I’ve witnessed friends lose fuckbuddies because they became romantically enamored with them, ditching the dirty talk for flowers and soft mewlings of love.

Fuckbuddies are an unusual breed of women. Most women, despite what braggadocio “gurus” say, are not down with fuckbuddy status. Now it is possible to string along a woman in a de facto FB zone, but this requires some deft prevarication and stalling. That is advanced game for those men already capable of getting laid with one girl at a time. The other option is to be totally candid with women and tell them they will be infrequent sexual flings, and nothing more. Vanishingly few women will agree to such an arrangement, no matter how much alpha indifference you project.

Generally, high T women — think tomboys, lawyers, Irish maids, strippers, cougars and women with leathery skin, small tits, hairy ass cracks or acne — are more amenable to openly acknowledged FB arrangements. Some of these high T women can be attractive enough to boff, and boy can they fuck like lionesses. The only cuddling you’ll be doing is between her beef drapes.

Marshy is right about being an animal. Women love untamed men, because they love having something to bitch about. A bitching-free life is a boring, drama-free life to a woman, and no woman, no matter how grounded, can survive long without the fever for a flavor of a tingle.

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Some chick has posted (as of last week) a how-to guide for, presumably, cute girls to score free drinks from suckers betas heedless horndogs virginal aspies men. (Ugly girls have to buy men drinks to get any attention.) It is reposted here with accompanying Chateau editorial comment. Men need to know how to identify these mooches and turn the tables on them.

It’s hard to fault these unscrupulous whores for taking advantage of willing dupes. You’d do the same if you were a hot chick in her prime surrounded by buffoons. So it is in your interest to know the enemy and her tactics, and to surprise her with your deft defiance of her expectations.

Scoring free drinks is easier than you think. Give these fail-proof ways a try, and enjoy night after night of free drinking. Just remember, picking the right guy is crucial. You can’t go for a guy who is there with his girlfriend.

It’s not that uncommon to see beta herbs buy drinks for all his girlfriend’s bitchy friends, and even occasionally female interlopers. That’s how HHHwhipped and fearful they are. (Fear is the path to the beta side. Fear leads to sycophancy. Sycophancy leads to abasement. Abasement leads to grinding dry spells.) So she shouldn’t rule out taken men.

Pick a guy who is chilling near the bar. You can always count on “bros” because their frat bothers will usually be there cheering them on to get chicks.

Nice. But times are changing. If these frat brothers had any sense they would mercilessly mock their bro for buying a drink for a girl he’s not banging. Are we seeing more of that kind of very special in-field bro tutelage? General impression: yes. But still a long way to go.

1. Use intense eye contact. (The most obvious and most important) As soon as you walk in, start by making seductive eye contact with the bouncer to get started. The bouncers are friends with the bartenders, so this can help for next time. Sit by the bar, and look around until you make eye contact with a cute guy who catches your glance. Soon enough, he’ll come over to you, and get you a drink.

She’d do better making eye contact with ugly guys. They would be more grateful for the female attention and thus more amenable to getting thieved. “Cute guys” (and it’s a loose term that when used by women usually translates to “alpha guy who looks more cute than he really is because he behaves in a way that presses all my limbic buttons”) are likely to have more experience with women and their wiles, and won’t be as easy to manipulate with these crassly novice female ploys.

2. Look hot, but innocent. You know the drill. Show off your best features in a sexy outfit and work your stuff. Sadly, batting your eyelashes and flipping your hair still works as well as it did when your Mom was in college. Don’t forget the cleavage.

Any man who has an ounce of pride and self-control (a male trait which is very attractive to women, btw) can stare at a bodacious rack all night without feeling a compulsion to open his wallet and buy drinks for the biological package scaffolding the tits. If you are a man who can’t manage to pass this banal free drink shit test, you need to go back to day one and read through this entire blog. Sadly, you may be a lost cause.

3. If a guy opens up a tab next to you and only orders one drink, casually say, “Isn’t there a $10 minimum?”He knows he’s going to have to spend the money anyways, so he might as well buy you a drink, and possibly get your number.

Her post is interesting for a glimpse into the sheer number of shit test permutations that women can wield. If you get this line, acceptable shit-test busting answers are: “Are you the IRS?”, “I found a loophole”, “You’re right. Can you cover me?”, “That’s what she said”.

4. You’re dancing with a guy on the dance floor and he has a drink in his hand. You say, “What are you drinking?” while casually taking the drink from his hands and taking a sip. Keep dancing and then walk away. He won’t have the balls to ask for it back.

Any girl who grabs for my drink like a spoiled child is going to get disciplined like one. Viable answers: “Pussy juice”, “Dunno. A chick bought it for me”, “Shirley Temple”, “Gasoline”. If she manages to get her hand on your glass, push it away and ask her if her parents raised her to be a grub.

5. Go up to the bartender, point to some random guy, and say, “That guy over there spilled my drink.” Then give him puppy eyes and “remind” him of what drink you had. He’s going to make you a new one.

Do bartenders really fall for this? They tend to be a savvy lot, so it’s doubtful many girls get away with this. Anyhow, this is a risky move for a girl at her regular bar. If the bartender calls her out on her lie, she could be kicked out.

6. Befriend an older man at the bar. Um, hello… old fashioned manners. He’ll have to offer. And you will graciously accept.

Older men are wising up to this as well. Game knows no age limit. But as a personal observation, it seems younger men are more prone to fall for the free drink ruse. Horniness tends to cloud judgement.

7.  You’re sitting down and mingling with a friend, and a guy comes and talks to you. You smile, and say, “Aren’t you going to buy me a drink before you start hitting on me?” He will take this as flirting and will  always agree.

Another permutation of the same old same old shit test. Good answers: “I don’t buy drinks for strangers”, “I didn’t know I was planning on hitting on you” (very subtle neg), “That’s small potatoes. Ill give you a thousand to hit on you for a week.”

The idea is to undermine her free drink angling with the insinuation that she’s not far removed from a common street whore, without coming right out and saying it.

8.  If you have already flirted with the bartender, and he’s already made you a drink, you can try this. After you’ve finished the drink and he’s pouring a drink for someone else, flirtatiously tilt your glass and say, “You know where to put the extra.” If he doesn’t do it right away, give him a few minutes and he will.

Again this is horrible. Any bartender who falls for this is not worth his mixology license or his badboy tattoos. Good answer if she’s a bitch: “On your head?”. Good answer if she’s slightly less than a bitch: “In her glass?”, while pointing at a cuter chick.

9.  FLIRT. Never forget what using your mojo can get you. Talk to a guy for 5 minutes. It’s surprising how little it takes. If he’s looking for some action, he’s going to ask you if you want a drink.

Remember the fundamental law of gender relations: The road to victory is through penis in vagina. Flirting should lead to it, or it’s nothing but ego stroking for attention whores. And as any man who’s lived a day knows, buying drinks for girls is counterproductive to the goal of getting laid. No woman in the world has slept with a guy because he bought her a drink, unless he had compensating alpha factors that nullified the betaness of buying the drink.

10. At midnight, when your buzz is getting low, order yourself a glass of water at the bar, while staring at a guy drinking next to you. Lean in, and wait for the guy to say, “Is that all you’re drinking? You’ll say, “Yeah, but a vodka sprite sounds better.”He will order it for you.

A lot of these grrlpower tips rely upon abject betas setting the traps for themselves. If you have a lick of dignity and a smidgen of understanding about women’s sexual processes, you won’t be asking a girl if “that’s all you’re drinking?”.

11. Tap a guy on the shoulder who is ordering a drink.  Say “how about you order me a drink, and I’ll leave the tip?” He’s not going to make you leave the tip.

Good answer if you just want to have a laugh at her expense: “How about we screw, and I’ll leave the tip?”

Good answer if you prefer the more understated approach that explores the possibility of a pickup: “The bartender’s my friend, so you’d better be ready to leave a twenty”.

12.  Pretend it’s your birthday. If you’re really going for it, wear a crown.  You will probably get a drink “on the house” from the bartender or a guy you talk to will offer.

Never buy drinks for girls. That rule goes double for girls in birthday or bachelorette parties. Or you could put her on the spot and ask what gifts she got for her birthday. It’s fun to watch predatory girls squirm.

13.  Sit down by the bar and take on a bet that you know you will win. After a few minutes of conversation, switch to the subject you want to bet on. Then you can make the bet. Winner buys the drink. Ask him a guy question that a “man” would think he knows the answer to like a question about the 1991 Super bowl. He’s not going to know that you have planned the question.  And you’re talking to him, so he’s not going to care.

The way to counter this tactic is to offer a “best out of five” suggestion. Example: “How about we do best out of five, but I get to ask the last question.” Few girls know much about the hobbies of men. Ask her a question about tube amps or Call of Duty.

It’s not hard to get free drinks; guys just can’t help themselves (the poor schmucks).  Try these techniques, strut your stuff, and you’ll be set. Don’t feel bad; they want to talk to you. And hey, maybe you’ll end up going for them.

The irony in her tricks for getting free drinks from suckers lies in the fact that, although presented as a way to make a possible love connection, free drink buying will actually spoil a woman’s budding attraction for a man. Buy her a drink and you will go home the celibate monk you arrived as. But pass her shit test and don’t buy her a drink, and her eyes will sparkle with growing attraction for your demonstrated alphaness.

No, literally, they will sparkle. It’s weird.

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Submitted for your edification. walawala writes:

I was chatting with a girl on an online website.

At some point, she says “You’re just not my cup of tea
”

I pause
.

Then I replied


Me: “Glad you said that
”

Her: “Why?”

Me: “I just saw your age, 35, actually I’m looking for someone younger, good luck”.

Her: Where you from?

Me: Sorry, I generally don’t chat with women over 29.

Her: Maybe if I knew you better

Me: silence


End of conversation
.

Flip the switch.

A few simple sentences is all it takes to psychologically move a woman from rejection (“you’re not my cup of tea”) to blossoming attraction (“maybe if I knew you better”). The power of game should never be underestimated.

Notice how walawala preps the woman for his reframe. He doesn’t immediately jump into the soulkilling age disqualification. He softens it first by saying “glad you said that”. This is a neurolinguistic trick that works by the effect of demonstrating composed indifference in the face of an ego assault, and by implicitly flattering the woman’s perspicacity, thus making her more receptive to the ensuing disqualification.

Well played, walawala.

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Many commenters ran with yesterday’s post about a girl who dumps a beta over Facebook and then reads his pitiful reply to a group of people at a house party who relish the opportunity to cruelly twist the knife. While the post was only meant as a report from the trenches of the modern mating scene, the commenters wisely treated it as if it were a test of their game, trying to figure out how best to answer a hypothetical email from a girl dumping them. I have looked at some of the suggestions and made a decision which are the best replies.

#1: No response. (Credit: Gorbachev)

90% of the time, and in 90% of situations, this will be your best option. Radio silence is a failsafe method for causing reckless hamster spin in a woman’s headspace. You have got to understand a couple of things about women and breaking up.

One, women initiate most breakups. I have read it is on the order of 75-85% of all breakups. Women also initiate 2/3rds to 3/4ths or more of all divorces.

Two, women secretly get a thrill out of the power they wield as society’s de facto hypergamous dumpers. When a woman dumps a man, she wants to know she got to him. Though she will never admit it, the act of gettting to a man is a blissful ego massage for the typical woman. Men are not like this (at least most of them). Talk to any man who has dumped women in the past for shallow reasons and he will tell you it was a distinctly uncomfortable experience, and he would have rather just kept her in his rotation, stringing her along forever instead of cutting the cord.

Knowing these two salient points about women and breaking up, it is in your interest as a man to deny any woman dumping you the satisfaction of your butthurt reaction. Why? Because reaction = beta. The alpha male with options galore doesn’t sweat any one break-up. Since women subconsciously know this about alpha males, they get flustered when their break-up messages to men they deemed beta generate nothing but indifference. They begin to wonder what is up, if perhaps they made a mistake in judgement of the man’s character.

I am now addressing the male readers of this blog who have experience dating three or more women at once. I have done it many times. Look back at those times and recall your reaction when one of the women tried to break up with you over a voicemail message or email. You grabbed your phone to read the heartfelt break-up text or listen to the pained vmail and, if you were like me, you muttered “yeah yeah yeah…” and deleted the message, never bothering to reply. You did this because YOU REALLY DID NOT CARE if one of your ladies fell through the cracks.

To my beta readers: THAT is the attitude you must strive to incorporate into every fiber of your manly essence. You really DO NOT CARE. And what does an utterly indifferent man do when he gets a long-winded overly dramatic break-up text from a chick in his rotation?

Nothing.

#2: “ok” (Credit: itsme)

This is a more proactive way to signal indifference, compared to the no reply option. Note the lack of punctuation. “ok” and no reply will both get under a woman’s skin, the thought of which will put a smile on your face. Send it immediately, so that she does not have reason to think you are trying to out-game her.

#3: “gay” (Credit: el guapo? el chief?)

Indifference expressed through humor can also work, if the context is right. “gay” (again, note lack of punctuation) is a great reply to a girl who has sent a long-winded break-up email filled with phony drama. It’s basically saying “I can’t believe you’re taking this whole thing so seriously”. It’s a subtle way to impugn her presumptive status as the dumper. The cutting “gay” reply insinuates to a girl who is melodramatically dumping you that she secretly thinks about you a lot as judged by the ridiculous amount of effort she put into her break-up email.

#4: “Breakup??? 3 dates. LMAO. drama.”, “drama queen!”, or “Srsly? It was three dates, lol” (credit: Evil Alpha/Ben Runkle)

Similar to the “gay” reply above, an insinuation that she is making a mountain out of a mole hill is a good way to get her ego invested in reclaiming lost battlefield ground. It’s a funny reply, and funny replies can work. But generally, you should follow the informal rule that any replies to a break-up message from a girl never exceed three letters in length.

And don’t expect sarcastic replies to make her come running back to you. This is strictly for the pleasure of inflicting emotional frustration.

#5: “nigga please!” (Credit: Josef Jonze)

Hey, that made me laugh.

#6: “8===D” (Credit: Ben Runkle)

Is there any pistols-at-high-noon dating situation where the ASCII penis won’t work? I’m having a hard time thinking of one.

***

Addendum: Do NOT send anything that could be construed as bitter, spiteful or the aforementioned butthurt, even if you think you are being sarcastically nonchalant. Her hamster will spin anything REMOTELY resembling bitterness as a victory for her ego. Examples of this school of thought include:

“yeah, know what you mean”

“good”

“don’t care”

“later”

“thanks. now I can go for a girl I really like.”

“Do I know you?”

etc.

The above mistakes illustrate the perils of thinking like a man instead of thinking like a woman. A manly maneuver is like a club wildly swinging in the direction of her head, bound to result in allies rushing to her side. But if you want to eviscerate her with scalpel-like precision, and excise her emotional organs for dissection upon your operating table of sadistic cruelty, then you must put yourself into the mind of a woman. Think like a woman to seduce her, and to vex her. They are two sides of the same coin.

Now some of you may be thinking, what can I do to bring her back into my orbit of indulgence? After all, wasn’t there a post here about winning back one’s ex-girlfriend? None of the excellent replies offered above guarantee she will come back to you. But they are a necessary if not sufficient tactic in any overall strategy to re-attract her. If you want a shot at converting a lost prospect, you don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot with a needy beta reply as seen in yesterday’s post. A nontrivial number of women who receive no reply or “gay” to their break-up emails are going to be so flustered and ego-bound to extracting a reaction from you that they will text, email or even call you again a day or two later asking if you got her message.

And once she has done that, she’s buzzed straight into your sticky spider web. Now she, and her invested ego, is yours to entwine. The rules of the game have decidedly shifted in your favor.

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Valentine’s Day Tips

A reader sent in this most excellent compendium of game tips.

1. Ditch the cologne, a tiny bit of ladies’ perfume on the neck is the way to go. (Make sure you hug her close!) You could also put lipstick on your collar, but less is more- it has to be barely perceptible to work.

2. If you’ll be with her in a not-too-noisy venue and it’s late at night (after 11pm or so) have your phone’s alarm feature  set up to ring several times at random. The hamster will wonder who the fuck is trying to get a hold you at this hour. Change the subject when she asks who’s calling.
Extra points for mixing up the ringtones.

(I did this once not expecting to get it in the same night and my phone kept vibrating on the nightstand while she was riding me cowgirl- I swear I could feel her getting wetter and wetter with every “call” that came in.

3. When your body language, eye contact, etc. is solid, you can get away with ANYTHING. I’ve closed a girl having inviting her to a Warcraft LAN party and telling her how hot she’d look in a chainmail bikini. This is contrast game (Omega game?) and only works if she knows you’re joking and everythig else is congruently Alpha. I believe it’s the peacocking principle at work, though I need to experiment with it some more…

4. Remind her how Beta the other guys in the room are. I love telling a girl in a venue how thirsty I am and asking if she’ll fish me a gin and tonic off the two nerds at the end of the bar. There are all sorts of subtle ways to DLV your competition, get creative!

5. Never miss an opportunity to grab her hair and give it a good tug- she’ll let you do it waaay sooner in the interaction than societal norms would suggest, (about 15 seconds in if you’re dirty dancing.)

6. Act aroused by her shit tests. The whole “You’re so hot when you’re being bitchy” mentality makes her resistance self-defeating. Even better if you’re funny about it.

7. When shit-tested via text message, reply with an ascii penis. [Ed: It looks like this: 8==>. Or this, if you’re a host of the Chateau: 8=======================>] Hasn’t failed me yet and its cheaper than sending picture messages of the real thing.

8. Anything that attracts attention to your crotch is a good thing, eye-catching and unusual belt buckles are good. When you catch her glancing down you can remind her that it’s not going to suck itself.

9. And finally – My all time super duper favorite-ist opener in the whoooole wide world:

“Did you just grab my ass?”

And no, she doesn’t have to be standing behind you for it to work, you can walk clear across the room and spit this. (My inspiration for that one came from the club owner in Night at the Roxbury)

Caveat Emptor: these are all situational and can backfire if applied incorrectly. Know your prey and calibrate! #1 and #2 are best reserved for the divas who are on the fence about you

A final thought- once you have a basic competency in game, the only way to keep growing is to start tailoring your style to match your personality and strengths and have fun with it. A cheeky/playful Austin Powers vibe does wonders for me, not exactly your boilerplate stoic Alpha was he?

Feel free to use all or part of this for your blog, as a former pedastalizer myself, I have tremendous empathy for my beta bros sloggin it out in the trenches.

Your truly,

-Marshy

The force is strong in this one. #1 and #7 are especially good.

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In a complete inversion of conventional wisdom, it’s men who should be playing hard to get if they want to attract the opposite sex.

Women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

A study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, finds that a woman is more attracted to a man when she is uncertain about how much he likes her.

“Numerous popular books advise people not to display their affections too openly to a potential romantic partner and to instead appear choosy and selective,” the authors write. Women in this study made their decisions based on very little information on the men — but in a situation not unlike meeting someone on aninternet dating site, which is common these days. “When people first meet, it may be that popular dating advice is correct: Keeping people in the dark about how much we like them will increase how much they think about us and will pique their interest.”

The subject matter of this study has been discussed at the Chateau before, in this post. It perfectly validates much of what is written here, particularly the posts dealing with instilling dread in your lover to build a healthy relationship. The fact is that women, much more so than men, get turned on by inscrutable suitors. Women love love love men who keep them guessing. That hamster isn’t gonna spin by itself, you know. Inscrutable men are likely hitting women’s “pre-selection” and “sexy son” limbic buttons.

Suck-up credentialist therapists and marriage counselors hate these kinds of studies (and, by extension, real-world truth tellers such as yer ‘umble narrator) because it puts the lie to everything they know and believe. How would you feel if the meaning of your very existence was revealed for the shabby mountain of platitudinal shit it is?

I suspect some readers get the impression that the science guides my behavior. But that is not the case. I’ve spent my life experiencing women, observing women, learning about women and loving women. That is how I came to understand them. The science merely serves as a confirmation of what I can see with my eyes. But I like to post these studies because I know it gets under the skin of the haters. I can practically see their blood boiling and steam coming out of their ears.

It is an exquisite pleasure to reflect upon your enemies’ torment.

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Eliciting Sexual Values

The resident raging SWPL over at OkCupid has a new post up about the best questions to ask on a first date if you want to know something important about your date — that is, something important *to you*, like whether she is the type to bang on the first date. What he and his merry band of politically correct pansies did was correlate viable first date questions — i.e., questions that weren’t too personal, awkward or creepy — with an assortment of variables such as the person’s willingness to go all the way right away and couples’ relationship lengths.

For instance:

Answering “Yes” to the question of “Do you like the taste of beer?” correlates strongly with a willingness to consider sex on the first date. This goes for women as well as men, though seeing as all real men like the taste of beer and the possibility of first date sex, it’s pretty much a question geared toward finding out what depth of sluttiness women are eager to plumb.

If you want to know whether your date has long term potential, you should ask her if she has ever traveled to another country alone. If she has, and you have done as well, then consider it a match made in heaven.

There is a question in that OkCupid post that doesn’t make much sense. If you want to know whether your date shares the same politics as you, you’re supposed to ask her if she prefers simple people or complex people in her life. By 2:1, liberals prefer the latter and conservatives the former. But what does “simple” mean? Simple-minded, or honest? A complex person could just as easily mean a liar or a laconic mystery man. So it may just be that liberal girls prefer unending relationship drama and conservative girls prefer more stable, even-keeled LTRs. Since 90% of hot girls from the age of 15 to 29 are liberal, this means very few bangable women like stable relationships.

In case you haven’t noticed, the topic covered in that OkCupid post is essentially the game concept of eliciting values. A key part of building comfort with a girl you want to bang is getting to know her values and mirroring them, so a deep and profound romantic connection that she thinks is something that “just happened” is actually the result of a calculated effort on your part.

Based on experience, below are some core value eliciting questions that will work on first dates. Remember, a good question must:

a. sound natural or funny,

b. hide its intentions, and

c. trigger a subconscious betrayal of the respondent’s true values.

The value elicitation can be in the form of a routine, or asked as standalone questions. Take care to listen to her answers, because that is going to tell you if she’s up for a same night lay.

“Have you ever chewed gum in church or at a job interview?”

A “yes” means she likes to give blowjobs. Also, if she’s a smoker, she’s a pole smoker.

“Have you ever attended a protest?”

Yes: She’s cheated on exes.

No: Don’t expect first date sex.

“Did you go to the protest to actually protest, or to laugh at the people there?”

Actually protest: she will never cook you a meal and her relationships are paper-thin.

Laugh at the protestors: she falls in love deeply.

“Have you ever worn goofy socks? Like socks with penguins stitched on them?”

Yes: attention whore! Also, likely to play hard-to-get.

“What’s your favorite 4AM food?”

Trick question! If she has had food at 4AM, she is a party slut.

“What’s the one thing you have in common with your parents that you wish you didn’t?”

If she says nothing, she will try to introduce you to her dad within three months of the relationship.

“Is god a he or a she?”

He: She’s telling you want you want to hear. This is good, it shows she likes you.

She: Feminist harpy. Pump and dump.

Neither, there is no god: She’s down for anal.

“Does the thought of breaking into dance in front of a crowd of strangers make you nervous or excited?”

Nervous: She likes to cuddle.

Excited: She’s had sex in a bathroom stall. When she was younger, hotter, tighter. For free.

“When you played hide and seek as a little girl, did you prefer being the hider or the seeker?”

Hider: She likes to be dominated.

Seeker: She likes to poach other girls’ boyfriends.

“What kind of clothing makes you feel the sexiest?”

Cocktail dress: Status whore.

Mini-skirt: Slut.

Ballroom gown: Princess.

Wedding gown: Run.

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