How To Greet Like An Alpha Male

Posts about alpha body language always elicit titters of snarky gayness from the haters. “Stand contrapposto like an alpha.” “Don’t lean in.” “Face out toward the room.” The closed-minded can’t, or won’t, comprehend that certain actions — even seeming trivialities like the location of one’s feet on the floor — can increase or decrease a man’s attractiveness to women. Their ignorance stems from their refusal to acknowledge the premise that alpha males and beta males not only exist in reality, but that each group shares behaviors and attitudes that define them. People who believe we are all special little snowflakes have a particularly difficult time accepting the fact of our biomechanistic origins and how this translates into universally shared traits and mating behaviors. Few people, especially the religious and the equalists (one and the same, really), like to think we are slave to ancient shadow forces making a mockery of our concept of free will.

Here’s another body adjustment that will boost your alpha appeal to women: When you nonverbally greet people, toss your head up and then down, instead of nodding down then up. Via Delenda est Carthago:

Back in the early 80s when I was a freshman in high school, I noticed that some male students, when they greeted people, would give a little toss of their head.  This “reverse nod” (up, then down) was remarkable because it ran counter to my own habit of nodding (down, then up) to people when I greeted them.  I don’t know how it got to be a habit, but it’s probably what I saw the adults around me do, and adults in movies and TV do, rather than something that somebody told me I was supposed to do.

Because the toss was new, and because the upperclassmen did it, I associated it with being “cool”, and tried to emulate it.  I may have had a dim sense of the biomechanics, but I lacked the analytical tools and vocabulary to appreciate what was at stake.  But as much as I practiced the toss in front of a mirror, I almost never remembered to deploy it in an actual social situation, and eventually I gave up.

As I have moved from youth to adulthood, I have observed others using the toss with diminishing frequency, although this could be me just not paying attention anymore.  But it’s easy to see how the study cited above maps onto the implications of the head toss.

The “reverse nod” does map onto the research posted at this blog recently about women preferring to look up at men. When you start your nod on an upward trajectory, instead of in the downward direction that most people nod, you are mimicking that masculine backwards facial tilt which brings women such delight.

Try the reverse nod now. Nod up then down. Now try the usual way. Nod down then up. You don’t have to be nodding at anyone. This little experiment will work even if you are alone. What did you feel deep down in the pit of your animal soul? I guarantee that most of you men reading this felt “more alpha” doing the reverse nod. It was a nebulous, ill-formed feeling, but a real feeling nonetheless.

When you feel the alpha in you, you know that girls are noticing the alpha in you. A small adjustment in a trivial thing like nodding can redound to your attractiveness in bigger ways. To be sure, a nod will not get you laid. But you start adding up all these little changes intended to emphasize alpha male characteristics, and suddenly you’re cooking with gas.

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The Player Vibe

Reader Walawala asks:

[H]ow do you deal with chicks that suddenly start viewing [my newfound] self-confidence as being a player. “I’ll bet you have tons of girl friends…” etc..

Yes, these are shit tests, I get that, and can deal. But my problem lately has been chicks that get so attached after I bang them, they break up because they fear “it won’t go anywhere and you have lots of girlfriends”…even though quite honestly I don’t. I’m just confident.

This is a common complaint from men who are starting to see results with game. The answer is to focus on the basics. Forget tricky routines or clever quips or nuclear negs. You would be missing the forest for the trees. The specific reply to this type of shit test isn’t important; what matters is the big picture. As long as you recognize the forces at work in the woman’s mind, the answer you give will be good, regardless of the exact wording you use.

So what do you need to know? Really, just one thing. You need to refrain from playing into the woman’s frame. When a chick says “I’ll bet you’re a player” or some similar variation thereof, she expects you to feel shame, and then to backpedal, apologize, act humbled, or otherwise be a magnificent beta seeking her approval. Are you a beta? Because this is what goes through every beta’s mind, (AKA the twitchy guinea pig, if you will, because women are always using them as test subjects), and in this order:

This chick is hot.
She just said she bets I have a ton of girlfriends.
That’s good, right?
Again, this chick is hot.
I better not say anything to piss her off or ruin this magic moment we’re sharing.
Since chicks don’t like womanizers, I will deny being one.
I hope she is impressed by my answer.
Sex, maybe?

And just like that, you are dancing to her tune. No sex for you!

Now put yourself into the shoes of an alpha. This is what goes through his mind when a girl asks him the same:

This chick is hot.
Is she giving me shit already?
Typical hot bitch.
I’m gonna fuck with her.
Too easy.

Once you have identified the trap and have committed to sidestepping it, the right reply will come to you naturally.

“Yes, my harem is huge. Each girl has a specific job to do. How’d you like to be my grape-feeder?”

The above reply is an example of agree and amplify. It isn’t the only way to answer shit tests, but it is a proven successful technique. There are other, equally good tactics, for dealing with Venus Vajtraps. The specific tactic you use will depend on your personality and the comfort you feel using it. The point is that as long as you recognize framing and have the confidence to avoid approval-seeking behavior, executing a precise alpha counterattack won’t be something you have to struggle to find the right words to convey. A solidly grounded “I am the prize” mentality and a sharp awareness of female filtering mechanisms will make the job of finding the right thing to say much easier.

In Walawala’s specific case, girls he has been banging for a while are preemptively bolting because they tell themselves he is a player who won’t commit. Again, the worst thing Walawala could do would be to try to allay their fears. That’s throwing chum in the water as hungry sharks circle.

His problem isn’t that girls think he is a player. That’s just their hamster squeaking. I have never known a girl to break up with a man because she convinced herself he must be good with women. She may bitch and moan (usually facetiously), but she won’t actually walk away from such a man. Particularly if she is hot.

There are exceptions. Less attractive girls sometimes find the will to walk away from high value men because they subconsciously calculate that his slew of options with hotter girls mean there is no future with him. So perhaps Walawala is slumming it.

Another reason why girls may leave when things are going well is if the man is telling girls about his multiple girlfriends after a few months together, when such surprising news could precipitate a breakup. Walawala says that isn’t the case with him.

Barring those exceptions, his LTR issue with girls isn’t the player vibe, but, more likely, not enough vulnerability game. If he wants these spooked girls to stick around, then he’ll have to soften the aloof edges of his alpha game. This isn’t to say he should jettison the supreme confidence that got him the bangs; it is only to suggest that he needs to show more signs — however shallow — of commitment. Men who sleep around often forget that women possess a duality of heart. They lust for those romantic gestures of fealty almost as much as the alpha strut of independence. It can come as a shock to stone cold players when girlfriends suddenly scoot after the three month mark because they came to the sensible conclusion — from their genes’ point of view — that the alpha stud they luv would make a better short term sperm contributor than a long term backrub servant.

One other point: It has been my observation that sometimes, when women cry “player!”, what they are really saying is “beta!”. If there are unsatisfying aspects of your personality or attitude that she doesn’t like, she will be prone to using the more socially acceptable excuse of “player unwilling to commit” to rationalize her loss of feeling for you and subsequent dumping. Many women are loathe to admit, whether to others or to themselves, that they are leaving a man because he became too chumpy, beta, easy-to-please, predictable, unchallenging, weak, unambitious, sexually tepid, or even overly committed. They’d rather sugarcoat the real reasons so they can sleep at night, assured that their peers won’t kick them out into the icy wastelands for being a grade A bitch.

Do not underestimate just how incapable women are of directly acknowledging the ancient forces that drive their ids. Here, as in so many other matters related to sociosexuality and psychological motivation, men and women diverge markedly.

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A Man Stops Saying Insecure Things And Finds Success With Women

In a recent post, I wrote about the fundamentals of pickup — namely, the attitude and behavior a man must exhibit to guarantee success with women. The critical state of mind that every master womanizer I’ve known shares is an aloof and indifferent, sometimes even scornful, attitude toward women’s opinions of them and the direction of their relationships. Women can’t help but love these kinds of men who can take or leave them; men who don’t bother to — or who at least don’t give the impression of bothering to — win women’s approval. Men who couldn’t give a rat’s ass if they unintentionally offend women. If you’re having trouble visualizing this attitude in action, just think of clinginess and neediness, and do the opposite.

This fundamental attitude of aloofness must undergird everything else; without it, all the game techniques in the world will eventually fail you. The good news is that tactical seduction and concomitant ego-massaging operate in a feedback loop; mouthing the techniques and experiencing positive responses to them is often enough to instill the proper attitude, i.e. inner game.

Revisiting this theme of pickup fundamentals, it occurs to me there are two more crucial attitudes that contribute to a well-honed and masculine inner psyche that girls crave. Listing the three fundamental traits of the irresistibly attractive and vital man in descending order of importance, they are:

1. Be aloof. (Amused mastery)
2. Don’t be insecure. (Irrational self-confidence)
3. Dehumanize and objectify women. (This subject — the most controversial — will be discussed in a future post)

Every successful lady’s man in the world possesses these three core traits in varying degrees. If there is a man out there who is clingy, insecure, or prone to romantic pedestalization, yet still good with women, you can bet he has massively compensating attractiveness traits that allow women to overlook his effete attitudinal shortcomings. Think George Clooney or John Mayer compensating.

Regarding pickup fundamental #2, check out this funny post by a man who adjusted his attitude after his girlfriend dumped him. His goal? To stop saying insecure things, which he blamed for his failed relationship.

The best way of putting it is that for the past few months I’ve been working on myself.  My last serious relationship ended in August, principally because of my insecurity.  (This is not a break-up essay and is actually going to be about something really interesting, but the break-up stuff is necessary background information, so just hang on.)  When I say this, I don’t mean that my insecurity made me do anything.  She simply left me because I am insecure.  And I’m not complaining about this.  It sucks for me, but she was completely within her rights, and it would have been selfish of me to expect otherwise.  After all, male confidence is for women what female physical attractiveness is for men, so for her this must have been like dating a fat girl. This made no sense to me—just as, I guess, men caring about appearance to the exclusion of attitude makes no sense to women—but that’s what women are like, and I’m attracted to women, so I figured  I could either sit around and complain about it or stand up and try to change, so I did. […]

I felt like I had to either stop being insecure or lie down and die.  And then it hit me.  An elegant equation too simple and too beautiful to have been seen first, and all the more clearly true for having appeared at the close of a draining epic quest that took almost a whole hour.

The five most beautiful words in the language:  Fuck this, I’ll just lie.

After all, regardless of what Oprah says, women are not in fact psychic.  The only way they’ll know I’m insecure is if I tell them.  In the relationship that ended three months ago, I had made the mistake of taking women at their word when they say they want you to be honest about your feelings.  Well, I guess women aren’t exactly lying when they say this; it’s more that they just don’t mean it the way you assume.  Women do in fact want you to be honest about your feelings, but it’s not so they can love you better—it’s so they know whether to dump your pathetic ass. Women want you to be honest about your feelings the way the IRS wants you to be honest about your finances.  What I realized too late was that it was totally within my power to keep that relationship going.  All I would have had to do was lie about what I’m really thinking every moment for the rest of my life.

The results of his experiment in attitude adjustment — AKA game — will be no surprise to any regular guest of the Chateau.

Now you’re probably thinking that it didn’t work.  You’re expecting me to say that I refrained from saying insecure stuff, but girls didn’t like me any better—either because they could still magically tell I was insecure somehow, or because it turns out that girls look deeper than that and aren’t really as shallow as I was making them out to be.  But that’s not it either.  Girls—and, to be fair, people in general—really are as shallow as I was making them out to be, and the simple practice of never saying insecure things worked amazingly well.  To be perfectly honest, I had sex with more women this past September and October than during any year-long stretch of my life before, or all four years of college.  And I didn’t even go out that much.  So without becoming boorish here, let it be established that never saying insecure things really does work, and is incredibly easy.

Fundamental #2 (See also: Commandment XI): Be irrationally self-confdent. It doesn’t matter if you have no objective basis for your confidence — women are wired to get turned on by men expressing confidence, which can be as easy to do as simply refraining from expressing insecurity, as the man in the link above found out. So the next time you reflexively feel like putting yourself down to win imaginary plaudits or perhaps a pity fuck from women, don’t do it. Think before you speak. Better to be thought a silent alpha than blab your true feelings and go home a rejected beta.

He goes on to note that his new, non-insecure persona, while netting him pussy, turned him into a nonentity. He says that acting confident all the time instead of in his usual self-deprecating, insecure, but highly entertaining way — “I want to ask her every five minutes whether she really likes me and then not believe her when she says yes… Instead, I slap her on the ass and then lean against something” — made him an uninteresting caricature.

Two counterpoints to that. One, most men would gladly trade a self-perceived interesting personality for more pussy, if such a trade-off were available or even a reflection of reality. Two, the move from insecure to confident does not necessitate an abandonment of sparkling wit. A quick observation of all the supremely cocky and confident womanizers you have known should remind you that they are often the most interesting and fun guys to be around. A slap on the ass is a lot funnier, and sexier, than a despairing exegesis on one’s crippling self-doubt. Sure, a lot of newbs to game tend to reformulate themselves into cookie-cutter automatons, but that’s sometimes a necessary transition until they have internalized the proper attitude and can successfully couple it with their innately unique personalities.

Now if you despise women like some race of philistines incapable of finding the humor and the attraction in the insecure funnyman schtick, then you will either have to bury your resentment and enjoy getting laid, or stay principled with your calloused hand as an audience of one. This is the reality in which you exist. Perhaps in some alternate universe a version of you is setting vaginas on fire with hair-pulling laments about your A cup manboobs.

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The Fundamentals

There is so much pickup information available now that it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamentals that govern sexual tension and attraction between men and women. When the information cascade overwhelms it begins to pull you away from what works, and what has always worked for you. Consequently, over-analysis can hinder your spiritual growth as a womanizer. That is why it is vital to step back every so often, ignore the steady stream of advice, and return to a few golden, immutable laws of attraction that will never go out of style.

The one fundamental to which I always return, and has never failed to reward me as expected, is this:

Women cannot resist the aloof and indifferent man.

Of all the compulsions hard-wired in a female’s hindbrain, this one is etched deeper and more enduringly. Every woman, to a greater or lesser degree, feels the burn of lust and the agony of love for a man who projects a “take it or leave it” attitude.

Note that aloof and indifferent doesn’t mean haughty, distant or uninterested. It means disinterested. It means that while you may love her and flatter her and soothe her and give her gifts, underlying it all is an attitude that tells her “I can walk if necessary, and find someone new.”

It may seem counterproductive for a woman to respond so favorably to a man exhibiting this attitude, but the evolution of human sociosexuality offers an explanation: an aloof man is indirectly advertising his skill at seducing women. Such a man will give a woman sons who will inherit his ladykiller genes. Conversely, a man who gloms onto a woman may as well be holding a placard that says “My celibacy is nigh!”. He has no confidence that should his girlfriend or wife misbehave, or leave him, he will be able to find another woman’s bossom for comfort.

And really, that’s what all this talk by women about valuing “confidence” in men means; what women are really saying is that they value men who could dump them on a whim and get with new women easily. Men who can do this are filled with the kind of confidence that turns women on.

The aloof and indifferent attitude can be expressed reactively or proactively, deliberately or passively. She senses it when other women flirt with you and you refuse to act ashamed for it. You don’t rub your desirability to competitor women in her face, but neither do you downplay it.

She senses it when she is the first to say “I love you”, after many months of eager — but ultimately unfulfilled — anticipation on her part for you to say it first.

She senses it when you occasionally pepper your relationship with unexplained absences.

She senses it when you hang out with guy friends who are known players.

She senses it when you drag your feet about going on expensive trips together.

She senses it when you are the first to hop out of bed after climax.

She senses it when your exes are always bumping into you.

She senses it when you announce that you don’t understand guys like her male friend who can only play video games when his girlfriend is not around to castigate him, and when you then proudly and defiantly proclaim you value your “freedom and independence” too much to be like that guy.

She senses it when a half-assed microwaved meal that you cooked for the both of you means more to her than a four course dinner slaved over for hours in the kitchen by a beta would mean to her.

She senses it when you set the bar so low, it becomes a challenge to disappoint her.

The fundamentals. Be aloof. Be indifferent. Be loving.

Do these three things and you will never be lacking for a woman’s eternally grateful love.

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Reenactment Of A Dentist Visit Pickup

This is a pickup attempt in a dentist’s office, as we were both waiting to have our teeth cleaned. The lawyer chick returns! (Lawyer chicks are very diligent about keeping regular dental appointments.)

Listen for the rather unsubtle neg.

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Attracting Women By Exploiting Their Insecurities

Truly the darkest and most powerful of the crimson arts is the seduction of women through the identifying and exploiting of their weaknesses and insecurities. To bed a woman is a wonderful pleasure, but to get inside her head and manipulate her to willingly offer the key to her heart — well, that is sublime gratification. Only experts in the mechanics of the human psyche can pull off Exploitation Game with any credibility.

First, it is important to note that weakness and insecurity are distinct categories of ego suppression. A weakness is an objective flaw in a woman who may or may not be self-consciously aware of it. An insecurity is a gnawing discomfort with some facet of her life that she feels is amiss, whether or not her self-doubt has any factual justification. Weaknesses and insecurities provide fertile emotional chaos upon which the master seducer may fruitfully sow a path to redemption… through his groin, of course.

Imagine, for instance, you have met a girl at a house party who you happen to know is dating a man who already has a girlfriend. Her life is in disarray, and all she can think about is how to win him away from his primary lover. This girl has a genuine insecurity about her standing with him, and she doubts her ability to monopolize the love of a high value man. You identify her insecurity, and then you exploit it by talking in general terms about how it’s nice to have someone completely devoted to you and makes you feel comfortable and loved.

“Sometimes, at the end of the day, you just want someone there who accepts you totally, and won’t make you play games or feel like an afterthought.”

Naturally, you do not directly confront the girl with her insecurities, (unless it is your intention to cause pain). That would only ensure a defensive turtling in reaction, or, worse, a lashing out like a stuck pig. Deliberative exploitation is effectively accomplished through the use of third party puppets. The girl in the example above would not be the subject, but she would subconsciously put herself in the place of the subject in your conversation.

Here is another example: suppose you meet a single mom who still has her looks. You don’t intend to marry her, but you do want to enjoy a fling. She has a real weakness; bastards are bad for business in the dating arena. Her lack of awareness or acknowledgement of her weakness is irrelevant; a weakness extracts its tribute from even the most armored egos, for the reality of its existence cannot be concocted away in the primal centers of the brain where the rationalization hamster dares not tread. If you can insinuate her weakness into your conversation — assuming the truth of its negative influence while offering an escape from its consequences — you simultaneously crush and release her ego to pursue that which will provide momentary relief from her rattled reality. Again, the use of third parties is critical.

“There are too may demands placed on some of us. People expect you to follow the script, expect you to conform to whatever normal is supposed to be, but what do they know? I was never one to judge. I see what others don’t and admire it. Nothing beats meeting that one person who will take you into a separate world, away from the day to day crap that drags you down.”

Exploitation Game can be used during the attraction or comfort stage of seduction, but is preferable in the latter, particularly if it is the patina of sincerity you are striving for. Some may consider this cruel art a breach of the last ethical frontier of pickup, but the joy on her face and the quickening in her loins belie such phony sanctimony.

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Escaping The Friend Zone

Many men will nod with understanding when reading the following LJBF account from a reader:

I was just on the receiving end of the fastest friend zone in the world. It usually occurs after orbiting a girl for a while and then having her reject a move. This happened before any actual moves.

– Met this girl through a female friend when the 3 of us went to the cinema
– Got her number the same evening, she was very warm and enthusiastic towards me, we exchanged some messages later
– Called her 2 days later and had a chat where she was again the same towards me. Tried to schedule a drink at Thursday, she was busy but offered Saturday instead
– 15 minutes later I get this text from her: “I’m really sorry, I’m not really up for going out, I was in a long relationship until recently. It was very nice in the cinema with you, you’re really pleasant and interesting to talk with, but I understood it only as friendship.”
– My reply 15 minutes later: “Fair enough. I appreciate you telling me, I went through something similar. If you’d like that interesting conversation, feel free to call.”
– Her reply 2 minutes later: “Ok. I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way, I didn’t intend to.”
– My reply 2 minutes later: “Don’t worry, I didn’t propose to you or something 😉 Brave of you to tell me. Enjoy :)”

I tried to signal in my replies that it didn’t really matter because I didn’t do anything except chat with her, but wasn’t going to hang around as a friend. On the other hand, since she was so direct (honest), I didn’t feel the need to counter with bombs like “What, you thought I was hitting on you?” or attempt to salvage.

I guess that even though I approached with no pressure she knew that no guy asks a girl out unless he intends something, and doused it. Whether it was because of her real recent breakup or just a polite way of telling me that she wasn’t interested, I’ll never know. Maybe I should just be proud of putting out enough of a sexy vibe in one hour after the movie, eh?

Regardless, that’s the fastest friend zone I’ve ever seen!

Did this story raise the hairs on the back of your neck? Did you identify with the emailer? The friend zone is like a huge pussy planet with a mighty gravitational pull; your escape velocity needs to be very fast to avoid getting sucked into receiving warm hugs with three pats on the back and listening to boyfriend stories not involving you.

The best way to dodge the friend zone is to refrain from putting yourself in a position in which befriending is possible. That means making it clear to a girl early on that you see her as a sexual conquest waiting to happen. Once befriended, it is very difficult to change her opinion of you to one of potential lover. An ounce of sleaziness is worth a pound of conversion.

If it’s a bang you want, it’s a friendship you don’t want. There are only a few circumstances under which it is feasible to be friends with a girl.

This is not to argue that befriending girls in order to later get in their pants can’t be a successful hookup strategy. If you have the patience of a saint, the fortitude to endure painful blue balls, and the willingness to undertake a high effort endeavor with a small chance of reward, then the friend zone to fuck zone plot ploy is for you. Most men, however, don’t feel they have ten lifetimes to devote to this long-view strategy. Plus, there is the matter of preserving one’s dignity.

The emailer made his move quickly, but without being there to observe his body language and the tone of his conversation, it’s impossible to say whether he made an early impression as a sexual man or as a good-natured friend of a friend. In addition, the context was not ideal for pickup. A girl who meets you through a mutual girl friend is going to mentally box you into the friend zone by association. This is especially true if your girl buddy talked about you in private with her girl friend as if you were the bestest male buddy in the world a girl could hope for. And don’t you just want to squeeze his chipmunk cheeks!

Obviously, when the emailer tried to schedule a later date, she clued in to his intentions. It’s possible she may have known his intentions from the first meeting, but it’s good policy to never underestimate the ability of girls to misread a man’s romantic pursuit. As a defensive measure, girls are adept at missing male sexual overtures. Since most men are on the prowl most of the time, it would make sense for women to behave as if they notice nothing that could shake their coy repose. This is why the best seducers are men who take action to get what they want, rather than men who passively wait for love to fall in their laps.

If it’s true the girl recently left a long relationship, she would likely have welcomed the attention of the emailer, if only for a platonic date with friends. Thus, she may have misled him into believing she was available FOR HIM. (Despite what women say, recent breakups are no impediment to hooking up with a new man if he is an alpha.) It’s a common mistake for men to enter contrived social scenarios (as this emailer’s was) and attempt to capitalize on the good fortune of being thrust into the company of an attractive girl. But quick pickups rarely happen that way, unless you are obviously higher value than your target. Girls don’t like going on dates with men who take advantage of infrequent forced social arrangements, particularly if her friends are watching. A few days later, she may have even felt some resentment toward the emailer for assuming she would be interested just because he’s a friend of her friend.

It is also possible, although not as likely, that she was turned on by the emailer and stomped on the brakes before the flirting spun out of control. Some girls don’t trust themselves after a breakup; sex is a quick and dirty way to rejuvenate the ailing female ego. But this is more of female rationalization than anything else. There are too many women who will monkey swing from one alpha cock to another to buy into that line of thinking.

Once she knows you’re interested, there’s no backpedaling without making yourself look like a tool. “You thought I was hitting on you?” will sound pathetically transparent to even the stupidest girls. The emailer avoided doing that, but his chosen responses weren’t much better. “Fair enough” is beta mincemeat. Where is the teasing? The cocky attitude? “Fair enough” is what you say to your neighbor when you are arguing over a property line assessment.

Better reply (a few hours later): “Wow, you sound like a soap opera. Drama queen!”

Or don’t reply at all. There’s nothing like a non-reply to rev up a hamster in distress.

And for fuck’s sake, don’t suggest she call you “if you’d like that interesting conversation”. She just blew you off and you’re rewarding her with your time? For crying out loud, dude. Sack up!

Also, whenever a girl says “I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way” (and let’s face it, men, these words are like fingernails on a chalkboard to us), the worst response is “Don’t worry.” Why let her off the hook with exactly what she wants to hear? Play with the condescending bitch a little bit. Better answer: “Oh LORDY my heart… it is exploding! However shall I go on?!”

“Bravo of you to tell me”?!? *gag* RTFA.

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