Ubiquitous Yoga Girls

In the evening on weekdays, the sidewalks teem with girls carrying yoga mats tucked under arms to or from classes. Their hair smartly propped in ponytails, perfectly round asses straining against black tights with neon green or peach colored waistbands rolled over the top, they are a flesh phalanx of trimmed and toned T&A. Women who are serious about yoga have the best all-around bodies of any group of exercising women — they beat out soccer players, joggers, bikers, swimmers, and porn stars. I don’t know if it’s the yoga itself that carves such exquisite hardbodies, or if yoga simply attracts Type A++ girls who hone in and sweat out with extreme prejudice 0.1% excess hip fat with the same mechomasculinized focus they apply to shuffling lawyer briefs, but I have yet to meet a woman who regularly attends yoga class who is out of shape. And I’ve taken a few classes. Believe me, ladies, I’m enjoying the view in the back row. Not a fatty or frumpy in sight. What town in America can claim that?

The steady stream of sidewalk yogettes had me thinking about avenues of approach. Surely, this was a rich vein of opportunity upon which to mine some clever opener to ride all the way to the naked Lotus position. Waiting at a crosswalk light, I peripherally ogled a short girl in — no surprise here — black tights and a green tank top cradling a rolled up yoga mat in her right armpit. Like Chuck and the intersect, I flashed archives of game knowledge until two potential openers pricked my consciousness.

The first I mouthed silently to myself to determine if it was acceptable. “Bikram?” No, I mentally discarded it. Though she sported the glistening sheen of a woman who might have just exited a Bikram studio, I felt the opener sounded like forced rapport. And questions demanding simple yes or no answers never make for good openers.

I used my backup opener instead, an example of the “ever notice” school of openers.

“Ever notice how people compete to have the largest yoga mat?”

She stared blankly at me for a second, before my word jumble organized itself into meaning for her. Then she smiled.

“No, that’s not something I’ve noticed.”

“Yours looks like it’s 12 feet long. You could roll that thing out like a red carpet.”

She chuckles. “Well, it’s not that long, and I’m not tall enough to need a 12 foot mat.”

“My yoga mat’s only two feet. I’m embarrassed to be seen in public with it, but my mom gave it to me.”

She laughs again. “Funny, you don’t look like the yoga type.”

I make a fake indignation face. “What, just because I’m ruggedly masculine I don’t fit the stereotype of a master yogi? I’m offended.”

The light changes. Shit, time’s out.

She loiters for a a split second before stepping into the crosswalk, which makes me think it’s a mini-IOI to go for the number close. But it’s a split second too short, and she begins walking forward. Over her shoulder, she smiles and tosses out one last morsel.

“Well, good luck finding a less embarrassing mat.”

A taxi making a left turn nudges into the pedestrian zone, almost brushing up against her leg. She gets distracted, and the moment evaporates. I want to smash a cinderblock into the taxi driver’s face. But then that’s not very serenely yogic, is it?

Serenity now…

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Contrast Is King: Identity Inversion

This post is a follow-up to my original Contrast is King post, and serves as an adjunct to my fashion post.

Women love surprises. They love a man they can’t easily peg. They chase men who intrigue them. There are methods men can use to trigger this attraction reflex in women. One potent technique is identity inversion — where you present yourself one way while confirming an entirely unexpected impression.

Let’s say you show up at an indie bar dressed like someone who belongs there — newsie cap, skinny jeans, t-shirt, indoors scarf, chucks. You approach a hipchick knowing that she thinks she has you all figured out before you’ve even said a word. A conversation follows, and she asks what you do for a living, and what you like to do for fun. You talk about your job in corporate law, and you mention how you like to help entrepreneurs set up new businesses.

BOOM! She wasn’t expecting that at all. She squirms a little on her bar stool. Suddenly, you have become a lot more interesting to her. She may not care one iota about corporate law, but she sure cares about a hipster doofus who challenges her expectations.

Now let’s say you’re at a networking event and you’re wearing a sharp business suit. You approach a seriousskirtchick and she’s sized you up in the three seconds it took for you to walk over to her. A conversation follows and she asks the usual questions (hot girls aren’t very conversationally nimble because they’re never given a reason to be — a true player knows to give girls reasons to step up their conversation game and make them work for the cock). Instead of shop talk about the market or clients, you regale her with your interest in public policy to alleviate wealth inequality, or your downtime playing bass for a local band. You actively defy her expectations.

This is the challenge inherent in contrast that is so effective at turning women on. Dress one way, speak another way. And it works on both sexes, though tempered with the usual caveats concerning the outsized importance of female physical attractiveness. Have you ever met an artsy chick in heavy black eyeliner who surprised you when she began discussing economic theory? I have, and it intensified her cuteness; I wanted her more when she unraveled twists in her personality concealed behind my snap judgment of her.

Identity inversion will work on most girls, but there is a subset of girls for whom mismatches between a man’s presentation of himself and his interests and opinions will hurt his chances. There are some girls who have very strong “types”, and will actively seek out those types for copulatory auditions. If a girl swoons for bike messenger dudes and everything they represent, and you are dressed like a bike messenger when you meet her, you may wind up hurting your game if you talk like a lobbyist. She wants the whole bike messenger package, not just the funky cap. Luckily, girls with powerfully influential but narrow mental mate templates are rarer than girls with expansive templates for intriguing, hard to pin down men.

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Beach Game

Readers will sometimes email me with pickup stories or game tips that are too good not to have a wider audience. Since the summer is upon us, this email I received from a reader who overheard a pickup attempt describes a great example of beach game. When you read this, imagine yourself doing the same thing successfully. That should fire your engines.

I love your blog, long time lurker, first time poster blah blah, etc. You know the drill. I’m really writing because I’ve got a fun anecdote for you.

At the beach this weekend my boyfriend and I witnessed some awesome game on another girl sunbathing nearby. Since I’m female, I have no use for it other than amusement value, but I thought you might enjoy it.

The girl was laying down reading a shitty chick-lit book, and this guy with a camera, evidently an amateur photographer, came up to her. This was the exchange that followed:

HIM: Hey, mind if I take a photo?
HER (surprised, sort of unsure, looking up at him as he towers over her): Uhh, sure.
HIM: Ok, great.
(He extends his hand to her, sort of helps her up so now she’s standing next to him. He then proceeds to take a photo of not her, but where she was laying down — her beach towel, book, bag, sunscreen, etc. She seemed pretty surprised.)
HER: That’s what you wanted to photograph?
HIM: Yeah.
HER: Why?
HIM (ignoring her real question): It’s my hobby.
HER: Yeah, I already noticed that. But what’s so special about this? (gestures to the stuff)
HIM: I just happen to find it special. Haven’t you ever felt drawn to something without knowing why? Like, you just had to look twice, for some reason?
HER: Uh, yeah, I guess.
HIM: Most people don’t really stop to notice the beauty in ordinary things. That’s why I like photography, it teaches you to notice things that you wouldn’t have before. (Was this another neg?)
HER: Oh yeah? And what have you noticed, then?
HIM: Well, for one, I’ve noticed that you’re just sitting here reading while your friends are having fun in the water. (There were two empty beach towels near her, so it looked like she was watching their stuff).
(Teasingly) It must be a really good book.
HER: (laughs a little) Yeah, it’s pretty good.
HIM: Anyway, thanks for letting me take my picture.
HER: Sure, no problem.
HIM: Well, I’m off. There are so many interesting things to see and do around here. It was nice to meet you.
HER: Like what things?
HIM: Everything can be an inspiration if you’ve got the right attitude. If you’d like, you’re welcome to come with me and maybe we’ll find some. Good company always helps.
HER: Oh, I can’t just leave my friends’ stuff and everything.
HIM: Sure you can.

THEN he addresses ME. This guy was so pro. I guess he saw us watching them.

HIM: Hey, you seem like a nice person. Do you mind sort of keeping an eye on this stuff until her friends get back?
ME: Yeah, no problem.
HIM: See, no problem?

The girl texts her friends and he leaves with her. Awesome.

If you read this whole thing, let me know what you think.

Keep up the good work.

-Andrea

Fantastic. What camera guy did was textbook. And I mean that in the literal sense; judging by his words I’d be surprised if he wasn’t familiar with the seduction community and pickup literature, particularly NLP influenced speed seduction. His conversation reads like a well-rehearsed routine. Which goes to show that routines aren’t inherently bad. What’s risky isn’t the telling of a routine, but how it’s delivered.

Let’s examine step by step what he did right.

• Alpha body language. A girl laying on the ground is preselected for the submission position. If you are standing over her, she will feel in her bones this dominance dynamic, and it will be good.
• Props. Having a camera with him served as a prop to break the ice with the girl.
• Nuclear neg. The best negs are those that most radically overturn expectation while remaining plausibly complimentary or judgmentally neutral. She thinks he’s a weirdo who wants a pic of her suntanned bod; instead he politely grabs her hand (early kino – good move) to move her aside so he can take a pic of her rumpled beach towel.
• NLP mastery. “drawn to something” “just had to look twice” “beauty in ordinary things”. This shit is straight outta speed seduction. I always thought SS sounded too hammy for real world use, but this guy shows how to spit SS game like a normal human being. Hint: Brevity is key.
• DHVing. Photography is chick crack. The photographer and his tools of trade are the medium through which a chick’s ego can ricochet and amplify itself, as she projects her fascination and frustrations with her most valuable asset — her looks — onto the Sauronic eye of the camera lens.
• Rapport bait. When he tells her that photography teaches you to notice things you would not otherwise, she can’t help but take the bait wondering what he noticed about her and her stuff. Perfect springboard.
• Situational awareness. He notices two empty towels and uses that information to intensify the seduction.
• Takeaway/push-pull. She laughs at his book line and thus becomes more invested in the conversation; at which point he dismisses himself, but not before dropping some more rapport bait (“there are so many interesting things to see and do around here”).
• Challenge/qualification. “Everything can be an inspiration if you’ve got the right attitude.” Does she have the right attitude?
• Dominance display. “Oh, I can’t just leave my friends’ stuff.” “SURE YOU CAN.”
• Social savviness/situational awareness/leadership DHV. He notices our alert reader and employs her stuff-watching services, but not before flattering her so that he can better make the sale.

After a clinic like that in how to properly run game, very few girls wouldn’t be creaming their bikinis a little bit. I should also point out that this whole conversation, judging by the number of words, looks to have lasted no more than five or ten minutes. That’s five minutes of tight game from totally random meeting to walking away together for an instadate. Does anyone here still doubt the power of game? If you do, you are just looking for excuses to continue failing. And that, my friend, brands you with the scarlet L of the loser.

PS It would be funny if this post’s title duped a bunch of people to come here hoping for information on smashball and frisbees.

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What Did I Do Wrong?

We have a new series called “What did I do wrong?” here at the Chateau. You write in with a sad tale of chumpery describing where you went wrong with a girl(s), and Chateau proprietors explain your mistake and offer advice on how similar situations should be handled in the future.

Joe writes:

Last night I was at a concert taking place in an open field with some friends. We were having a great time when literally the hottest chick I have ever seen in my life (that’s saying a lot) comes up to me and asks where the bathroom is. In retrospect, I feel like I could’ve used game and salvaged the night. Anyway, here’s how the conversation went. If you could, let me know where I went wrong. I had absolutely no idea what to do in this situation:

HER: Hey, do you know where the bathroom is.

ME: (pointing to the farthest possible porto potty about two football fields away). It’s right over there.

HER: (stares into the distance for a good five seconds) Are you kidding me? My friends told me there was one over here.

ME: I am dead fucking serious. Your friends must have lied.

She leaves and takes my dignity with her.

Joe, one thing I don’t get from your story — were you deceptively pointing her in the direction of a bathroom that was at the farthest distance possible? Or was that really the closest bathroom to your location? If the former, then your game was weak, unless it was a ruse to join her on the long trek and attempt a pre-void pickup.

Where you went wrong: calling her friends liars. Better to have said her friends must be playing a joke on her. Harsh terms like “lie” are too negative to toss around in a serious manner during early game. A better answer would be more playful, e.g.:

HER: Are you kidding me? My friends told me there was one over here.

ME: Maybe they meant that big oak tree over there? I’ll cover for you.

The chick had to go to the bathroom, so you wouldn’t have had much time to game her even if you could pickup faster than she can remember her full bladder. And girls aren’t in a receptive frame of mind when they have to pee. Multiply that unreceptiveness tenfold if she’s turtling.

The obvious solution to your quandary would have been to join her on the long walk to the faraway toilets. Tell her you’ll walk with her because you’ve got to head in that direction anyhow. Unless she has an instant revulsion to you, she will agree to let you walk with her, and now you’ve got two football fields worth of distance to amp up any nascent attraction. Try not to make potty jokes. A girl never feels less attractive than right after giving birth or just before dropping a deuce. No need to remind her of that.

******

“F” writes:

I am a huge fan of your work. It has changed the way i look at women. This is the first time i send you an email. I’d like to submit (or elevate!) to your attention an email exchange i had with a girl i recently met only once, about a month ago. Since the first meeting (more details below) we have been emailing back and forth and the interaction has developed on a purely virtual basis. no follow up meet has happened yet. Clearly some bits of my interactions reek of beta-ness but i’ve tried to inject game in this exchange and to adjust the aim during the process. I have applied some game knowledge which seems to have kept the interaction alive (as expected) but i have arrived at a bit of a crossroads. She seems somehow intrigued by me but not enough to push it to the next level.

Background: I have met this solid 8.5, eternal ingenue type, at a bar in a business environment. After being introduced by a mutual acquaintance we start chatting and i immediately steer the conversation into non business related matters, completely skipping the “what do you do” thing, and specifically teasing her  in this respect, asking her to stop pitching her business to me (we just swap cards) and started tenuously qualifying her. After maybe 5 minutes of interaction, she introduces me to some business associates of hers (she works for a law firm my firm does business with) and goes back talking to her other colleagues, leaving me alone with the associates she introduced me to. After some polite conversation with her associates i leave the venue (completely ignoring her). She emails me the following day. the interaction starts at the [top].

My question to you is: Is there a way i can improve my email game with this particular person? What would you have done if you were in my shoes and most importantly, how would you take it from here? How can you -in general- generate an initial attraction/intrigue via email? as practitioner of day game, it happens quite often that the initial buying temperature after the number close is still very low and needs to be increased via texting or email…otherwise it might be difficult to get her not to be flakey.

looking forward to your reply If you ever decide to publish this exchange on your website (which you are welcome to do), I would kindly request you not to disclose my name nor anything that could compromise my or her identity (although i have already tried to edit out all the relevant details).

Thanks a million

F

P.S. my comments are in brackets <…>

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

HER: <this is the first email of the interaction…her self esteem seemed irked by my leaving the venue without homaging her with my attention>

Hi F,
Nice meeting you last night.  Unfortunate that we didn’t get a chance to chat more, I turned around and you were gone – were you bored by my colleagues or just the <her firm’s name> pitch? 🙂
Cheers,
<her name>

ME:
🙂 Well, to be honest, I was bored by both (but I admit I also had to run to meet some friends).  Its ok, you can make it up to me by taking me for a coffee sometimes..under one condition: no shop talk 😉 Ciao

HER:
Sure, happy to – how does your schedule look this/next wk?
Cheers, <her name>

ME:
I am free Friday, we can hang out after work. Cool?

HER:
I can’t this Friday I am afraid (it’s my birthday) – any other day perhaps?

ME: Happy birthday. I am around Saturday for early drinks, otherwise next week (not Monday, I am going to the racetrack in ZZZ).

HER: Would it be possible to meet next week? I am not feeling well..

ME: Well..I hope u didn’t get sick on your b’day.
Let’s meet wednesday at 7pm at <trendy neighborhood bar>

<She calls me 15 minutes before the meet and cancels claiming she had to work. I act unfazed and actually say “I don’t care”>

HER: <she immediately emails after the call apologizing again for the last minute cancellation>.
So sorry – I live in XXX so I’ll drop you a line later and if you are out maybe we can grab a drink in that area?

ME: <after 20 minutes>
I doubt it, am not free later tonight. Maybe next time. Ciao.

HER: <immediately>
Sure. How was the racetrack in Zxxxxx by the way?

ME: <after 20 minutes> adrenalinic. that’s what I need to wash away the week’s inertia.

HER: <replies after 10 minutes> Very cool.  Were you a spectator or a participant?

ME: <after a few hours>
Participant of course. I wouldn’t bother to go all the way to zxxxxx to watch other people racing.

HER: <replies after 1 day>
Either way sounds like a lot of fun.  How often do you go?

ME: <ignoring her question>
Yeah its one of the things I like to do. So…and what rocks your boat? Who are you?

HER:
Hmm, it kind of depends on my mood?  Last wknd I indulged in a bit of self pampering with massage and facial on Saturday followed by an intense afternoon of horseback riding on Sunday..how long have you been racing?

ME:
I have been racing for a year or so…but my real passion is martial arts.
Hmm…our pursuits couldn’t be more polarized. Leisurely Horseback riding, spa and massage…versus Car racing and martial arts…Relaxation vs adrenaline!
By the way I hope your employers pays you well because you still owe me the coffee from the beginning of this thread..and trust me, I am gonna pick a really super expensive coffee shop.

HER:
Chuckles – “leisure” horseback riding couldn’t be farther from truth. I did the arena training last weekend – we are talking real 1500 lbs horsepower with a mind of its own..i want to be good enough one day to go to one of those working ranches and round a herd of wild cattle, that would be uber fun.
Yes yes coffee is overdue – do you like hot chocolate?  I LOVE Caffé XYZ’s hot coco con panna.

ME:
Gee..I’ve forgotten you’re Texan…and a lawyer 😉
So from 1 to 10 how adventurous are you?

HER:
🙂 and you are from Ixxxx and a <my profession> guru except you don’t like to shoptalk in your spare time (me neither).

Hard to rate b/c it depends on how you define and what you consider is adventurous? But I am definitely a believer of carpe diem. What fun do you hv planned for the wknd?

ME:
Oh dear… The definition of adventurous. Foggeddabboudid 🙂

Actually…let me give you an example:
Tomorrow I am going with a few friends  on a boat trip to XXX. Sea, Beach and (hopefully) sun… if you were to join me on a whim with such a short notice (vessel leaves at 10am sharp on pier 1, return in the afternoon) then I would consider you (on my scale), a robust 7, maybe even a probable 8. I would be more than impressed by your initiative, understanding and application of the spirit of the horatian carpe diem. Makes sense? 🙂

HER:
Sounds like a lot of fun (and thank you for the invitation) but I have horseback riding in the morning! 🙂 I guess I’ll just have to impress with my cupcakes or something…do you golf by any chance?

ME (I reply after 2 weeks)
I don’t like cupcakes nor golf. Too bad.

HER (replies immediately):
Ouch 🙂 going anywhere interesting for <local festivity> tomorrow?

ME:
Am in NY right now..am out with friends. I love the city this part of the year. Will be here till the weekend

HER:
Yes, NY is fab around this time of year.  Enjoy..I heart NYC 🙂

ME:
am doing my best. This city never sleeps. What’s your plan for <local festivity>?

HER: Going to YYY <nearby tourist destination>, can’t wait!  Where abouts in NYC are you hanging out?

ME:
YYY? I strongly recommend staying in this hotel <url>. Stayed there last year.
I am on my way back home now. Have to work tomorrow.

HER:
Thanks! Looks really pretty..

Your first mistake was not getting her home number. Swapping business cards, and hence email contact info, is too formal. A number exchange personalizes the pickup, and puts her on notice that you don’t intend to treat her as a business associate.

Your second mistake was relying on email game to move the seduction forward. In fact, email communication is anhedonic. It will actually move you further from seduction once you’re past the minimum threshold needed to set up a face to face date. Endless emailing is yappity yappy, and it’s been noted many times here that girls prefer a little mystery in their men. Serial email rapport strips away mystery and makes you seem less manly with each email exchange that passes without a real life meeting transpiring. It bears mentioning as well that the longer you email the more likely you are to blurt something that lowers her buying temperature instead of raises it. Even the wittiest seducers will say something unattractive if enough words are spilled, and, unfair though it may be, to the mind of a woman one misstep can erase ten tingle amplifiers.

I included the entirety of your email exchange because, even though it is painfully tedious, I wanted the studio audience to see what “try-hard” looks like in all its morbid desperation. There is simply too much emailing going on here for a girl you haven’t yet fucked, let alone haven’t yet *met for a date*. Dude, no joke, I have had less total email communication with girls I have been fucking for a year.

Be that as it may, as email game goes, yours suffered from many unforced errors.

1. Too many smilies and question marks. A good rule of thumb when texting or emailing a girl is simply to refrain from using emoticons or question marks at all. Following this rule will help rewire your brain into mimicking the brain of an alpha.

2. You gave her too many free times to meet. You said you were free Friday, Saturday, and next week (except Monday). That’s too much available time for a busy man of the world. And it’s best to avoid setting up first dates on weekend nights. She’s not that important, yet.

3. When she flaked 15 minutes before the first date, that should have been it for her. Not worth your consideration. At the very least, stop the emailing. You should have been setting up this fucking date over the phone anyhow, not through email! Email is a girl’s best friend because it gives her total freedom to respond when and how she likes. Email strips the pitch and timbre of your rumbling manly voice, and elevates her voice to equally persuasive footing. A girl needs to feel tension before feeling attraction, and you helpfully sucked the air out of any tension by allowing her to continue contacting you through email.

4. When she offered a second chance to meet later in the night, your reply sounded tinged with bitterness. “I doubt it” is not a good answer. A simple “maybe”, and nothing else, would have sufficed to keep the interaction on life support.

5. Why are you rewarding a flaky girl with a long, drawn out conversation about racing and other assorted snippets from your life? Has she earned this attention from you? These are the things you share with a woman when you are gazing in her eyes and your hand is inching up her thigh.

6. You played a “1 to 10” qualification game with a proven flake over email. You pulled the trigger too soon. Save that powerhouse stuff for an actual date.

7. Never use the words “oh dear” if you are a man. Not even in ironic self-awareness.

8. Let me get this straight. You invited a known last minute flake to take a boat ride with you. And you are showering her with these rewards… why? I’m not at all surprised she turned you down again with some excuse about horseback riding. She’s got you exactly where she wants you  — giving everything and getting nothing in return!

9. Your response to her second rejection (two weeks later!) was more bitterness. Don’t you think she notices how abruptly your mood changes, from happy (if a bit strained) banter about boating to sullenness about not liking cupcakes or golf? And a two week delay makes it seem like you were stewing the whole time, for what man with a full schedule is going to remember what some chick said about cupcakes two weeks ago? Again, when spurned by a gameplaying woman, the best answer is short, noncommittal, and emotionally neutral. You neither like nor dislike. Make her guess what you’re thinking.

10. And in the end you give a flake the URL for a hotel you recommend. She gets her ego pumped up, and some helpful advice, all for the low low cost of…… no snatch for you! Despite their cheery smiles and sympathetic eyes, girls really do not respect men who give of themselves without taking anything in return. She wants you to take her pussy, and to do it with the minimal investment possible. Congratulations, sir, you are her personal LJBF beta orbiter.

Stop emailing her, she is a lost cause. If she emails you first, wait a few days before responding *with a phone call*. Do not reference anything she wrote. Act as if her words are merely a medium to enable your masculine essence to reach into the depth of her soul (conveniently located just behind her clitoris), and tell her email is for giggling schoolchildren, and she will meet you at X on X for a cocktail that is on her. If she agrees and you meet, you have recaptured hand. If she balks, wish her well and hang up. Life is too short.

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Dating Traps

Occasionally, after you have been dating a girl for a few weeks, she will ask if you are seeing other girls.

This is the worst sort of beta bait because it is so innocuous sounding. What man wouldn’t want to reassure a girl he is dating that she’s the only one for him? Most betas will chomp down on stinky bait like this so hungrily that it will cause the girl to second guess whether she is high enough in dating market value that she can safely leave the guy for better prospects.

BETA: Nooo baby, I’m not dating anyone else. I wouldn’t even think of dating anyone else while I’m with you. I really like you. All I can think about is you. [Gentle shoulder grab and big, wet eyes.]

GIRL’S SUPEREGO: Oh, that’s good to hear. [GIRL’S ID: Tool.]

Your job, as a man who routinely dates quality women, is to never let her ego convince her that she is too good to be dating you. The best way to do this is simply to not fail her status ascertaining shit tests.

Beta bait and shit tests are similar concepts with some notable distinctions. Shit tests occur with the most regularity and intensity during early game, and at times when the relationship is on the skids. They are normally loaded up front to help the girl quickly take the measure of your alphaness. Beta bait happens at any time while dating a girl, and are spread out evenly in a relationship as a sort of low level boyfriend diagnosis script.

Shit tests are more obvious than beta bait, and thus easier to pass for men with excellent awareness of female hypergamy tactics. A shit test can be quite bold and shocking to newb ears and thus scare off lesser men, but the inveterate player always operates with the frame that shit tests and other assorted confusing and bitchy female behavior are an opportunity rather than an obstacle to demonstrate his mate value. A girl who is giving you shit is a hell of a lot closer to sex with you than a girl who is indifferent to your existence.

Of the two, beta bait is by far more dangerous than shit tests. If you fail a shit test, you move on to the next girl within your field of view. Your pain is over quickly and time is saved for mining new whore. But beta bait is subtler and more insidious; you may not even recognize you’re being baited until she’s screaming “HALF!” and the kid suddenly doesn’t look like you anymore.

But what truly makes beta bait so devilish is that the girl doesn’t even have to know she is baiting you. In fact, it is a mistake to think most girls are aware of their hypergamous status testing. Some are, particularly the heavily made-up club regulars who delight in frustrating men with sassy snark pulled from a crib sheet of well-worn bitchitudes. (I remember this one girl who used to say “take a picture, it’ll last longer” to just about every man she caught checking her out. I wonder what her line will be when she’s 35? “Take my picture, please”?) But most girls aren’t aware of how their female nature operates. To a girl, tossing out beta bait is as unconscious an act as a man chubbing out when admiring a perfectly rounded ass.

It doesn’t matter whether the bloody chum slips off the boat’s deck unsupervised, or if it’s tossed into the water with joyful gusto; you must resist biting into it regardless how tempting it is. Shit tests have less room for error. You fail the first shit test and you may as well write her off. In contrast, beta bait isn’t pass or die; you can safely take the bait occasionally without dooming your relationship, but you should aim for a pass rate of 75%. Once you start latching onto beta bait 50% or more of the time, your days as a man she desires to fuck are numbered.

Back to the original scenario, here is an example of how to resist the bait:

HER: I dunno… maybe. But if we do this I have to know you aren’t seeing other girls.

ENLIGHTENED YOU: Naturally. *kiss*

Note here that you aren’t sappily proclaiming your undying loyalty to the girl, while still easing her mind a little that (perhaps!) she is the only one you are dating. When you must give a girl an answer to something that reeks of beta bait, agree with her without *super* agreeing with her, if you catch my meaning. Sexy alpha answers nimbly dance the semantical line between truth, evasiveness, and provocativeness. Succinctness is always better than loquaciousness. Informality always beats formality. Hints are preferable to straight answers. Is this patronizing to girls? It sure is, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Great Scenes Of Game In Music

Commenter walawala posted a link to an annotated video of Robbie Williams running game on a talk show audience during a live performance of one of his songs.

BT = Buying Temperature, or how badly a chick tingles for you.

Now naturally Williams is a rock star on stage, so he’s DHVing through the roof as is and probably doesn’t need all that much game to begin with, but as noted in the annotation, he’s not well-known in America, so the risk of bombing on stage was present. It looks to me like he successfully employed classic game techniques and won the audience — and super alpha Simon Cowell — over. (Or, more accurately, he disarmed super alpha Simon Cowell.) Good find, walawala.

The song is pretty good, too.

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Unplugging A Girl From Her iPod

Byron writes:

Reformed “nice guy” here with some feedback and solution to a problem I’ve not yet seen in your experience.

Your blog so succinctly highlights the disparity between what women say they want and what turns them on. A crucial distinction that your haters fail to grasp. Sure (most) women want a beta provider but the best fuck doesn’t come after vacuuming the lounge room floor on a Saturday afternoon. It should be obvious to all but the most deluded denialists that this isn’t a rigid dichotomy but a perfect LTR partner can combine both to raise a brood and resist enough shit tests to maintain dignity and remain attractive.

Today I finally solved a common problem affecting this  urban PUA – separating a woman (an easy 8 in this case) from her iPod. She sat next to me on the bus carrying a fashion bag with a label, blithely plugged into her pod. I casually pulled out my phone to “check Facebook” and after a few moments of indifference, gave her a lascivious look up and down and interrupted her with “Hey, what’s that store name on your bag ?”

She unplugged to tell me and I replied “I’m just going to pick out your new season’s wardrobe.” I was rewarded with a brief grimace, she plugged back in and she spent the next few minutes alternating glances between me and the store’s webpage. The bus ride was too short for any close but it was a good chance for some nonverbal game (smiles, raised eyebrows, nods, rolling eyes at the lingerie page) and I had successfully won her attention. Negs, common interest, rapport, innuendo, all in a packed bus with nary a word spoken.

This isn’t a half bad pickup opener to use on girls on buses and subways. It looks a little disjointed on paper, but I can see this working in the field with the right facial expressions. Logistics would have to be favorable as well; you’d need to be sitting or standing next to the girl. The neg as opener is also a favored tactic of mine.

The bigger theme here is how to get the attention of girls who are essentially deaf to the outside world thanks to their use of personal media players. Walk down any street in the city on any given day and at least half the hotties you pass will either be zoned out with headphones in their ears or tappity-tapping away text messages on their phones. And I’m guilty of this too. I can hardly walk a few blocks without using my iPod to listen to Earth, Wind and Fire. The PMP revolution has been both a blessing and a curse for the urban womanizing warrior. Obviously, it makes it more difficult to grab a girl’s attention, but it also provides a DHV opportunity for the enterprising player who is willing and able to disarm the iPod obstacle. After all, the iPod has probably accounted for a 50% reduction in hookups because of all the men cockblocked by its presence. It’s every single girl’s substitute father figure brandishing a shotgun in your face.

It makes sense to think of iPods as the equivalent of cockblocks. Address the iPod first and disarm it. Make a nonverbal gesture with your hand to your ear signaling the girl to remove her earpiece. That’s one way to unplug her so she can hear you. Another way is to simply talk loudly enough so that the girl will be able to hear you over the dulcet tones of Karen O. Most girls will unplug if they think someone is trying to talk to them.

Opening girls who are walking down the sidewalk with iPods is more difficult. You’ve only got a brief window to catch her attention and she’s not going to hear you until you’re right on top of her. Nonverbally signaling her as you and her close distance is an option, but most girls are not going to remove their earpieces because some random dude walking toward them is gesturing for them to do so. You’d have to instead make strong eye contact and open your mouth as if you’re about to say something, as if you’re a tourist about to ask for directions. This is probably the most elegant way to cajole a girl to unplug so that she may fall victim to experience the full joy of your player charms.

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