A Test Of Your Negs

So you think you can game? Some of you can. Let’s see how you do with this group.

Scene: You have just walked up to this group of four girls and one seriously d-bag looking wanker. They asked you to take their picture, which you did but only after teasing them by pretending to pocket their camera and running away with it. They posed as in the photo above and you gave them back the camera.

What do you do?

This time the test is a little different. I want you to devise the most appropriate ego-humbling neg for whichever target you choose, and pre- and post-neg transitions if necessary. You may have to defuse the presence of the d-bag first. The idea here is to use the situational props available to you to deliver the best neg possible. Think on your feet!

For example:

[Looking at the guy] “Hey man, looks like you got your hands full.”

Some light banter ensues with everyone.

[Turning to the CityOfGod girl on the far right] “That’s a cool shirt.” [Wait for reaction] “You’re brave for not color coordinating with your friends.”

Winners will be announced tomorrow.

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Creating An Emotional Connection With Women

Over at Sebastian Flyte’s crisply written blog Elysium Revisited, I was tooling around and read a pretty good post about bringing a girl into deep rapport through the use of emotionally charged questions. An experiment was set up to discover how long it would take to build a romantic connection with someone. One group asked their partners a bunch of intimacy-building questions, while the control group asked their partners typically lame questions of the sort the average man without game might ask, such as “Where are you from?”.

Here are a few examples of the intimacy-building questions the first group asked:

Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living now? Why?

What roles do love and affection play in your life?

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

The questions were designed to be asked in a certain order, such that the tamer questions were asked first and the more intense questions asked later, the idea being that your partner would feel more comfortable answering the later serious questions if you loosened her up first with relatively benign questions. This “graduated verbal compliance” is similar to how kino progresses — from light, almost imperceptible touches on the forearm, to a hand on her thigh, and then to cheek to cheek contact when you whisper something in her ear.

The results of the experiment were unsurprising to anyone who has accepted the Good Word of Game into his life — the group asking the emotionally supercharged questions did not want to part company while the control group using Conor Friedersdorf-style respectful beta questions failed to ignite a romantic spark.

One of the laments I hear a lot from guys is “I can’t think of anything to say with a girl!”. It’s true; sometimes your brain will lock up and you’ll sit there blankly, desperately clawing your mind for any nuggets of insight to jumpstart the conversation with the girl. Unfortunately, once you’re aware of your struggle to say something fresh, your ability to move the conversation along plummets. It’s like the baseball player who suddenly thinks too hard about the mechanics of his throw and winds up getting the yips, throwing the ball into the dirt or way off-target. This is why I have a problem with PUAs who stress “natural game” at the expense of memorizing routines or one-liners. The truth is that having a few openers, negs, qualifiers, and deep rapport questions committed to memory will help any man hone his seduction skills. In fact, I used a few of the rapport questions from Sebastian’s post some months ago with a couple girls I dated, and they worked exactly as predicted.

If you’re really daring, you can try “serial killer game” deep rapport questions on your target, which amounts to hinting that you have a shady, violent past. And as we all know, quality (read: hot) chicks dig shady, violence-prone men.

YOU: Would you stay with a man you deeply loved if he confessed that he once did something very bad to another man who deserved it?

HER: It would depend on what he did.

YOU: Would you still love him if he asked you to help him dispose of the body?

HER: Um…

YOU: With a chainsaw?

HER: Kiss me!

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If You Call A Girl By Another Girl’s Name

Don’t panic. Carry on as if your flub didn’t happen. The worst thing you could do would be to call attention to your crushing of your Special Snowflake’s special-ness. Don’t feel guilty. Guilty players have got no rhythm. Guilt will compel you to reflexively atone for sins real and imagined.

YOU: Seduce seduce seduce Heather seduce seduce seduce.

HER: You just called me Heather. My name’s not Heather.

YOU: Oh yeah, how ’bout that. Weird. One of my little nieces is named Heather. You must remind me of her somehow. Maybe the brattiness?

I have mixed up the names of plenty of girls. It happens a lot when I’m dating three or more girls concurrently. I will whip myself into a psychocathartic herbpulp later for the grossly misogynistic thing I’m about to say [yes, yes I will, I surely will], but you ladies all blend into one another when I’m sitting across from you at the bar sharing drinks and a story from your life. I can remember the details of how your asses meet the backs of your thighs, but your nonprofit jobs and travels to “that really amazing and beautiful” place somewhere in the world where a million other girls of your station in life went to for slutcation just sort of melds into a buzzing grrlnoize of boring mindrot. And so it is without malice of heart that I explain the rather prosaic reason for why I sometimes get you, Dasha, mixed up with you, Julie. If I were a beta who only managed to date one woman per year and consequently obsessed over that one woman, I might do better at remembering your names.

So take it as a positive sign that you have successfully captured the attention of an alpha male when he mixes up your name with that of his “niece”. You don’t want no fake alpha, ladies!

Similarly, I will sometimes forget your names during our courtship. I mean blanking out completely. Don’t take it personally, though. I’m a busy guy with lots of important thoughts in my head, like how to raise my status so that more pretty girls like you are drawn to my sexual dynamism. When I forget your name, I feel embarrassed, but I won’t ever let it show. Instead, I will either a) wait for someone else to address you and recoup your name that way, b) sneak a peek at your license, or c) say “I have a confession to make… [PAUSE WITHOUT SMILING]… I have forgotten your name.” Please note the past participle form of that last sentence; the passive voice helps the medicine go down.

This has never failed me. The one time I forgot a girl’s name and attempted to rescue the situation by “being myself”, I paid for it with no sex.

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What Is A Natural?

Readers sometimes ask me: “What is a natural? How do you define one? What makes a natural who falls into pussy different from the majority of men who have to struggle every day of their lives to taste morsels of muff?”

The natural has three things going for him, that when combined into one ubermensch transforms him from a faceless dick on the prowl to a potent pickup machine.

1. Genetic blessings. He was born with a seductive ability to understand women and relate to them in such a way that their legs spread unbidden to his subtle provocations. This ability is intuitive Game, no different in function than the game taught in books and at seminars, and it is an order of magnitude more critical to getting laid than being born with rugged good looks, though it is true the best naturals are born with both. Naturals are blessed with computational power shared equally between their right and left brain hemispheres, and they tend to be more verbally adept than the average man.
2. He started young. Every natural I’ve known began their skirt chasing careers before their first pube sprouts saw the light of day. If you ask a PUA when he started getting good with women, he can usually tell you the exact day and time. If you ask a natural the same question, he’ll shrug his shoulders and say he’s always been this way.
3. He tasted success before failure. That very first naive, bumbling attempt at the age of fourteen to win a cute girl’s heart will make or break a man’s future with women. Failure will leave an indelible mark that won’t ever wash away for many men, corrupting their confidence with women for decades. For other men, early failure lingers like a stinkbomb in the soul until he rescues his confidence through sheer willpower and ambition. But the natural had success with his first girl, and that fledgling success laid the foundation for his confidence to grow like a fission reaction building on itself.

You will find naturals disproportionately represented in the fields of sales, politics, the fine arts, psychology, and pimp-dom. Naturals are not necessarily the men who sleep with the most women, but they are the men who *could* sleep with the most women should they choose to do so. Many naturals are in leadership positions because the persuasive mind techniques they possess that open pussy are the same mental gifts that open career opportunities.

Silvio Berlusconi is a natural, and probably was one long before he became a billionaire and prime minister. If you doubt this, read the following taped transcript of a conversation between Silvio and one of his lovers (link provided by reader Butters):

Woman: A young man would have come in a second.. I mean he would have come… Young men usually have a lot of pressure.

Silvio: But if you will allow me… (muffled) I believe it is a family thing.

Woman: What?

Silvio: Having an orgasm.

Woman: You know how long it has been since I had sex like I had with you tonight. It’s several months, since I broke with my boyfriend. Is this normal?

Silvio: May I? You should have sex with yourself. You should touch yourself often.

These, my friends, are the seductive words of a natural. The woman in this conversation is thirty years younger than Silvio. Godspeed, you randy old fart. May we all have the blessings to enjoy our Golden Rod years the way you do.

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Does It Matter If Girls Know About The Game?

Answer: No.

But don’t take it from me. Hear it straight from a woman’s mouth (hat tip: reader Joe):

The last few years of Sunday brunches with my girlfriends have revealed that players tend to follow a particular pattern. They bang a girl, then don’t call for at least two weeks. When they decide they want some ass, they will hound her with six calls on a Saturday . . . and then a Wednesday . . . and then the next Friday . . . until she picks up. Repeat.

I like to call it the Player Pattern – one section of the unspoken rule book that players everywhere use to win their game. […]

[H]ow did the Player Pattern become a pattern? Because it happened to each of my girlfriends. Repeatedly. We may moan about a lack of respect, but every time we run into a bad boy, we think we can be the one to pull him to monogamy.

I still don’t quite understand why someone would perpetuate the Player ideology. It leads females to self-doubt and insecurities, makes us hesitant and difficult and renders communication near impossible. (i.e. we will pick fights and want to talk about feelings). But I do acknowledge that tips that come from blogs, game shows and your boys seem to work. So when the game is so easy to win, can you really blame the Player? Who is really the fool here?

When I first learned game, I had convinced myself that once the material and tactics got out into general circulation and became widely known amongst the set of pretty girls who get hit on the most, it would mean game would lose its element of surprise and women would stop responding positively to it. I figured once that in-field inflection point was reached women would revert back to getting aroused by men with the biggest pecs or loudest mouth. My worries couldn’t have been more unfounded. Game is out there and girls are still lubing themselves for men who run it on them. Even the girls who *know* they are getting gamed.

To see why this is so all you need to do is play a gender role reversal thought experiment. Imagine a girl and guy meet. They have a conversation, and sparks fly. The guy thinks the girl is very attractive. At the beginning of the conversation, the girl tells the guy she wore a push-up bra to catch his attention from across the room with her cleavage, and she put on makeup to enlarge her eyes, which she knew would highly arouse him. Then she tells him she will be sure to cross and uncross her legs a few times to draw his eyes to her thighs and crotch. She further explains that she will play coy by batting her eyelashes and looking down and away when he makes a strongly flirtatious move on her, figuring that will ignite his desire to chase her and make her seem more valuable to him. Finally, she tells him she will laugh a little too hard at one of his jokes on purpose, so he will feel like she really admires his sense of humor.

What do you think will go through the man’s head?

“Yes, she likes me! I am so getting laid.”

The man will not be any less aroused from knowing the games women play to manipulate his desire. In the same way, women are not any less aroused when they are aware that a man is seducing them. They will enjoy the seduction as long as he knows what he’s doing.

Caveat: There are some one-liners in the seduction community that will become so overused they could potentially blow a guy out. I’ve heard that the “Who lies more?” opener was so ubiquitous in LA at one time that women, when they heard it used on them, would laugh out loud and tell the guy to try new material. Fortunately, there is enough fresh material now that overuse should no longer be a problem. The community has grown tremendously and technology has advanced so much that a man could check his iPhone GET LAID NOW ASK ME HOW app for a suitable quickie opener *as the situation is unfolding* in front of him. That’s power at your fingertips.

As for the “player pattern” recognized by the woman who wrote the above article, I’m not aware that it’s common community advice to wait two weeks to call back a girl you’ve banged, and to call six times on Saturday, then follow up on Wednesday and Friday. This sounds more beta than PUA, as I find it’s best to call a girl you’ve banged the day after to smooth any rough edges and hold the door open for future bangs. When to call back isn’t a critical issue; as long as you’ve attracted the girl you can call back whenever you feel like it without repercussion. Just don’t pull a Swingers and call ten times the night you met her. That much should be obvious to any man with a lick of sense.

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The Typical Stumbling Blocks Of A Seduction

Even though I have been running game on women for many years (it’s almost a second career for me) I still encounter the same stumbing blocks I did when I first started on my journey to mastering the art of seduction. I have made a list of the obstacles that I believe will plague any man’s game for life. The goal isn’t to eliminate these obstacles, (which cannot be done anyhow for you may as well argue that the urge to eat can be eliminated), but to manage them so that they do not hinder your game to the point of denying you success.

The Approach

Don’t listen to any PUA guru who tells you that fear of approach can be killed. It can’t. I still get it from time to time, and in varying degrees of anxiety, despite having approached hundreds, maybe thousands, of women over the whole of my life, for purposes sexual and otherwise. The fear of approaching women cold to initiate a courtship is hardwired in men, and for good reason, as a failed cold approach in the ancestral environment could have easily led to banishment from the tribe, and early death. Worse still, it could have led to incessant mockery from peers. The best way to handle approach anxiety is a paraphrase of a quote from Dune:

I must not fear approaching women. Approach anxiety is the mind-killer. It is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my approach anxiety. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my approach anxiety is at its highest, I will smile and accept my fear, and only I will remain.

Qualifying Her

I’ve seen more guys forget to qualify a girl than mess up any other part of the seduction. I can only surmise that it is anti-instinctual for a man to judge women, but instinctual for him to put himself up for judgment by women. Again, qualifying women is one of those things that goes against the circuitry of beta hardwiring. The failure to qualify cannot be eliminated — you will occasionally fail to screen your target — but it can be managed. You have to make a conscious effort to remind yourself to judge the girl you are talking with. That means saying to yourself “OK, how can this girl please me? What does she bring to the table?” before approaching her. It also means having a ready list of qualification questions to ask as part of your game, such as “Could you make me laugh? So many women think they’re funny when they aren’t.”

Isolating Her

This is another stage of game that I notice men tend to forget to do. My guess is that once a man has successfully opened a girl and is enjoying full-throttled conversation with her, he gets so wrapped up in his early forward progress that he is afraid to break the rhythm by moving the girl to an isolated location for deeper rapport. But he must do this, because deep rapport in a relatively quiet spot away from the location of the initial meet is vital to avoid later flaking. So be a leader and drag her to a new location, and if she balks then you know that your sparkling conversation with her wasn’t as sparkling as you thought it was.

Being an Asshole/Negging Her

As much as the neg is talked about as a critical component of game, you’d think it would be second nature to most aspiring PUAs. But it isn’t. There are some guys I’ve seen in the field, who despite encyclopedic knowledge of game, never remember to throw out that all-important value-lowering neg on girls who need them (i.e. hot chicks). If you can’t think on your feet, then have a couple all-purpose negs stored in your brain. I know you can do it, because you have CPU specs committed to memory, so it can’t be a stretch to remember a neg or two. Try this: “Hey you’ve got a cool sense of style… especially that 1960s retro haircut, like my Mom’s.” Or one of my all-time personal favorites: “You’re trying too hard.”

Hovering

Seductions will fail, face it. When they do, don’t hover hoping for her to have a change of heart. I still don’t know why so many men display this horribly low value behavior, but they do. Perhaps it’s a cognitive mechanism of self-delusion that spares a man’s ego from acknowledging the rejection.

Taking the Girl Home

No matter how expertly he ran his attraction and comfort game, it will all be for naught if he can’t transition to the bedroom, and sooner rather than later. This is another game foul that I observe men making in the field; they have won the girl’s attraction, got her hooked with his stories and listening ability, done everything right… and then forget or refuse to boldly move her to his pad. I know the thinking process: “Well, look, I’ve got her where I want her, so it’s just a matter of time before she’s in my bed. So it makes no sense to risk it all by pushing too hard for the fuck close right now.” This thinking is self-limiting, and often counterproductive. Getting a girl horny where she might be up for a same night lay, and then disappointing her by letting the seduction fizzle to a wimpy denouement, will cause her to reassess her positive first impressions the next day. So have an excuse handy, such as “Hey I’m thirsty. Let’s go back to my place for some delicious tap water.”

Maxim #44: Women will not hold it against you for trying to get into their panties on the first night. In fact, they will respect you more for your boldness and willingness to follow your manly desires.

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A Test Of Your Game: The Judging

Here is how I responded (or would respond) to the game challenges I posed in Tuesday’s post.

Part A

“You’re ten minutes late.”

“I don’t *feel* tardy.”

She doesn’t laugh. “Are you always late for dates?”

You pause. She’s reacting to your lack of punctuality worse than most women.

What do you do?

I stared at her for an uncomfortable two seconds, mentally wrote her off as a date-worthy prospect, and said “The problem is that you came right on time. No DC girl does that.” This reply seemed to mollify the bitch in her. Thinking back, the emphasis I gave to the words *RIGHT ON TIME* implied that she was more invested in the date than I was. I believe this caused a subtle shift in power to my benefit.

Best reader answers

el chief and his classic Asshole game (although I’d just use his second line):

Look around like Stevie Wonder, and say in a German accent: “Mother is that you? I’m sorry mother. I von’t be bad again.” Then laugh. Then order a beer.

If she presses say “Gimme a fuckin break. I thought you said you were fun and easygoing?”

Another version of Asshole game is One Word Game. One commenter suggested answering her pointed question like this: “Maybe.” Short, sweet, leaves ’em wanting more of your dominance.

I think One Word Game will be the next big thing in pickup science. It is my contribution to expanding the oeuvre. Look at the pros and cons. Pros: It’s mysterious, requires little memorization, saves you from paralysis by analysis, doesn’t smack of try-hard, gets you into her head, and captures the essence of ambiguity that so tempts the typical woman to fantasize scenarios involving your penis in her vagina. Cons: Can be misconstrued.

roosh’s genuine but uncompromising Superior Man game:

“If you’re in a bad mood we can reschedule the date no problem.” Definitely no smirk or smiles. Laser eye contact. If she leaves then you just saved yourself a couple hours of hell.

Brad demonstrates the power of Turn-The-Tables game:

I smile, stare at her right in the eye, HOLD… HOLD… and then say: “You missed me that much, huh? Well, I guess I can understand that..”

Firepower drops funnyman game:

“chill, baby – I’m only late when I’m pulling babies from burning buildings…and, maybe for girls I like.”

I’d dispense with the second half of his response. Similarly, I think a funny answer that could work would be: “Yeah, it was a rush for me to get here, but I had to take my sick mother to the doctor and feed orphaned babies, and I figured you’d be understanding about that. Like, WOW, I’d hate to meet a girl who was against sick mothers and orphaned babies!”

Fenton offered an example of witty game that works (i.e. note the succinctness):

“Well, you’ve been waiting four days, what’s ten more minutes?”

Most of the rest of you gave answers that were too nasty, too defensive, or too clever by half. Your goal isn’t to piss the girl off, nor is it to impress her with your Shakespearean wit. She isn’t worth your effort, yet, right?

To the commenter who wrote that the best reply is the Cary Grant “Big Face” push followed by draining her drink while signaling the waitress to come over for another order, I commend you sir. If anything will set America back on the path of world-bestriding hyperpuissance, it will be the big face.

Cuntrag, as usual, gave the opposite answer of what you should do.

Part B

Your date mentions she reads local DC blogs and likes most of them, and you wonder about bringing up your fandom […]

There is only one acceptable response to this situation. You steal my ideas to use as conversational fodder without mentioning you read me. I am such a fucking humanitarian.

Part C

Same as above, except this time, before you have decided whether to announce your everlasting platonic love, your date mentions she has read and hates him. […]

Your response should be the same as Part B. Don’t reveal you’re a reader, then change the subject. What are you, my eunuch servant who screens concubines for me? If she hates me, she’s masturbating to thoughts of me at night. Why boost my status even higher?

There is a catch in this particular situation. You have the option to play beta white knight to the hilt (see: Keith, Cliff Arroyo, DA, Jessica Valenti’s husband, any random urban liberal SWPL off the street) and say you have read as well and TOTALLY agree with her that he is a foul, bitter misogynist who probably doesn’t get laid and his ideas are all wrong, 1950s Ozzie and Harriet throwback shit and he uses women like a sperm receptacle. Then tell her how you feel privileged to have almost been aborted by your mother, and the biggest injustice in the world is that gay marriage isn’t yet accepted by Afghan goat herders. After you have massaged her ego, you slyly wonder aloud if maybe he is right about this or that subject and suddenly you are having a rollicking conversation with her and your hand is resting too high up her thigh.

I should bottle this magic.

Part D

You are me. You are on the date with the girl from the above story and have been talking with her about the book you are writing. She is intrigued. A little later in the date, she mentions she reads a lot of local blogs. She says there are some she reads that she really hates. You nod again. Then she asks you if you write a blog.

What do you say?

I lied.

She also mentions she ran a triathlon the day before.

Now what do you do?

Go big or go home. Same night lay or number deletion. Chicks who participate in triathlons are almost universally unfeminine. And by unfeminine, I don’t mean her looks, I mean her attitude. These kinds of women are at war with their femininity. It is the essence of yang polarity to take up personal challenges and compete against the limits of one’s endurance and pain threshold. This is what men do. When women do it, it’s unnatural, a big middle finger to the sex she was born as. While women like this can fuck like champs, they will invariably fall short in the areas that matter to men for long term relationships — generosity, nurturance, compassion, submissiveness, alluring coyness, and proper female deference.

I asked her if she was a tomboy growing up, then I ran the digit ratio routine on her. She had a masculine ratio. I told her that meant she was “ambitious”, which is a nice way to tidy up the word “bitch”. I am now going to craft an Andrew Sullivan-like neologism: Ambitchious!

Where’s my Atlantic Monthly paycheck?

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