Feigning Beta Provider

If you run solid attraction game but your rapport is weak (usually due to time constraints or a loud environment not conducive to sitting down and getting more conversational with a girl), there is a higher chance she will flake not because she’s uninterested, but because she suspects you may be a player who will love her and leave her. The positive but superficial emotions that an exciting player instills in her quickly dissolve once she’s back home and decompressing. Emotions generated from rapport are longer lasting if for no other reason than that they are unique to her — most men will not have the skill or knowledge to successfully engage a girl in deep conversation on the first meet. This is why nearly all masters of seduction stress that the comfort stage (or “day 2 stage”) is 90% of getting a woman into bed.

One thing you’ll notice if you occasionally date women in their late 20s is an uptick in flaking brought on by a volatile psychodramatic mixture of getting burned in the past by badboys and their biological clocks pushing them to find stable, paternally inclined men. None of these things are conscious decisions; her actions are the manifestation of subconscious forces.

Beta provider has a bad connotation, but in fact women, especially those past a certain age and feeling the forlorn pangs of their empty wombs, have a part of them that is attracted to such men. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to identify which of the women you date are genuinely interested in signs from you that you would make a good husband and father, and to feign the signals that would peg you as a beta provider. This means attenuating your cad game and emphasizing your dad game.

I had a day 2 with a sexy late 20s woman I approached in a bar. We had kissed within 20 minutes. She wanted me to call her and demonstrated this when she held up her hand to her ear in the shape of a phone as I was walking out of the bar. I called two days later and got her voicemail. She never replied. Flake. A week later, I was able to reverse her flake with a virtually foolproof text I discovered in the course of my social experimentation. More on that another time. We met a few days afterward. The first words out of her mouth as we were sitting across each other on our first “formal” date were “I don’t usually make out with guys in bars. I had too many free drinks that night.”

Nevermind the veracity of her statement. It’s irrelevant. Her words carried more weight than she could have imagined. She flaked because she felt slutty for kissing me in a bar. Later in the date, she mentioned that she had a history of choosing the “wrong guys”. Coupled with her body language, fashion sense (conservative) and her documented anti-slut flake, this was all the information I needed to adjust my game for maximum id penetration. I quickly assessed her psychological dimensions:

• likely pump and dump victim
• likely dumped by a long term BF she thought was “the one”
• is running from her slutty past
• has attracted players in the past and now fears getting attached to them
• is keenly aware of any signs that a man may be a player
• distrusts her own sexual impetus
• will test me for provider attributes

What I did:

• talked about my nieces and nephews and how much they loved it when I visited
• pared back my cocky funny game
• skipped the negs
• wore a business suit (minus tie)
• discussed future oriented subjects like “goals in life” and “where do you see yourself in five years?”
• remembered a few critical details about her from our first meeting in the bar which I sprinkled into our conversation
• told her I’m “happy with my career“
• slowed down my kino progression
• made sure our seats were in a corner of the bar where people wouldn’t see us kissing

Naturally, for most guys, acting like a beta provider isn’t much of a stretch. But if you’re good at attracting random girls you’ll find that in time you lose touch with the “softer” side of yourself. Newly graduated players often nurse an incoherent fear of seeming too beta, so they compensate too far in the other direction. This is why when men fail to get a woman into bed the cause is more often the result of a bad day 2, and not the initial meet.

One more thing. The snare of beta provider game only works after your alpha cred has been firmly cemented in her mind. So don’t go thinking you can put on the halo before the horns have lured her in.

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30 And Still Flaky

The number of women in DC who are in their late 20s to early 30s and still flaking as if they were hot college coeds has reached critical mass. When I call a 29 year old woman’s number to set up a date, the last thing I expect to encounter is flaking or playing hard-to-get. It’s such a massive turn-off that I demote a deluded woman like that immediately. If I get her into bed, I fuck her a few times, hard and angry, just enough to get her addicted to my manloaf, and never call again. Ladies past their peak, here’s some helpful advice from a representative of the Ministry of Stone Cold Truth: If you are a woman over the age of 27, do not fool yourself that you possess the market leverage to:

1. not answer the phone by the third ring or deliberately let a man’s call go to voicemail.
2. not return a phone call within an hour.
3. cancel a date later than five hours before the scheduled meeting time.
4. flake in any manner whatsoever.

Because you don’t have that power anymore over men who matter. Guys like me are less forgiving of gameplaying from women who no longer have the grade A goods to get away with it, so your best bet is sincerity, straightforwardness and good faith. Annoyingly capricious female behavior is the prerogative of girls in their prime. You, over-27 woman, must adjust accordingly. That means either putting aside the notion that you can flake without consequence, or dropping your standards and dating needy betas who will gladly lap up your shit and beg for more.

In my life, I’ve noticed a change for the worse. More women, and older women, are acting flaky. Such a cultural deterioration can only happen for one reason — massive, all-encompassing betatization. The sack-shriveling epoch is at its watershed. So-called “men” have abdicated their duty to punish women for their flaky behavior. The verdict is in: The entitlement complex of American women is out of control. It is time to put an end to it. Because I am a humble humanitarian of stupendously magnanimous good will, I present my five point battleplan for bringing the egos of American women back into line:

1. Be a cad. When a hot girl passes by, casually mention out loud in the company of your date/GF that the girl is beautiful. Do this a couple times and she will wonder “Does he think I’m as cute as her? Will he leave me for someone like her?” Then, step it up a notch. Add unpredictability to your ego-taming strategy. For every hot chick whose beauty you announce, wait for an ugly girl to walk by and mention how hot she is. This will fuck with your girl’s head like nothing else. Now she’ll wonder “Wow, if he thinks that toad is hot, what does that say about me? What *does* he like??”
2. Cancel dates. This is an amazingly effective technique for shifting the balance of power in the man’s favor for the simple reason that so few men do it. What could squash cancerous female ego growth faster, and imbue you with the alluring underworld glow of alpha devilry, than bugging out on a first date? Don’t give a reason. Just say something came up, and you’ll call her later. Leave a heavy air of mystery hanging between you two. Relish the thought of her tossing and turning in bed at night wondering if you found a woman with bigger boobs. After all, what is seduction in essence but the co-opting of a woman’s tools of the trade to use against her? Bonus: Cancelling dates is a huge power rush.
3. Extol the virtues of European women. Be subtle, of course, but be sure your message, true or not, is taken to heart. When talking about your travels, mention how the Europeans “just do things differently over there. Dating is not the chore it so often seems it is here. It’s so refreshing the way European men and women naturally gravitate to one another. No head games at all. To European women, romance is playful and fun.” Then mention how your business takes you to Europe frequently.
4. Assume the flake. When you meet an American Coastal City girl for the first time, and you are about to number close or otherwise set up a date, prevent any future flakiness by shaming her to behave the way you want. Say: “If you’re gonna be one of those flaky girls, tell me now so I can delete your number. Nobody likes those types.” Naturally, your challenge will have done its job and she will defend her honor. You’ve established boundaries of acceptable behavior that she’ll be less inclined to violate.
5. Don’t answer her calls. When you see her number light up on your caller ID, let it go to voicemail. Wait five minutes, then call back. Act nonchalant. She will wonder why you didn’t pick up right away. It’s a small detail that helps reframe the interaction to one where she is chasing you.

Godspeed, you nascent alphas, you smashers of overblown American women egos. The pendulum swings back now.

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A-hole Game: Day 3

Previously: Asshole Game: Day 1 and Asshole Game: Day 2

Uncaring asshole game will revitalize a flagging relationship and help keep the love strong.

One weeknight around 1 AM I got a frantic call from my girlfriend. She wailed that she had gotten into an accident and needed help. Looking over at my clock and realizing it was six hours until I had to get up for work, I sighed heavily and asked her if the accident was serious. She cried. “Whaat?? I don’t know, yes it’s serious! I don’t know what to do!” I told her to calm down and explain what happened. Between her sobs I could piece together the events. She had driven back from a job and was parallel parking on a street in her neighborhood close to her home, which was about a twenty minute walk from my place. In the process of parking, she had hit the SUV in front of her. Her car, presumably, was sticking out into the street a bit.

A parallel parking “accident”? There was no way I was rousing myself from my comfortable slumber and traipsing out there in the middle of the night to console her for a minor fender bump. How bad can a girl fuck up parallel parking? I thought for a second. My girlfriend was a skittish, uncoordinated driver. Stereotypically female behind the wheel. Yeah, if anyone could turn a parallel park job into a five car pileup it would be her. Then I thought about where she was parked. Her neighborhood was sketchy (i.e not enough SWPLs had moved in yet). If I were a girl, I wouldn’t walk around there at 1 AM. I thought some more.

“Look, just leave your car there and go home. It’s late. Get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow. We’ll check out your car in the morning. Whatever happened, it can’t be that bad, so stop freaking out about it. You just bumped a fender.”

“I can’t just leave it!” She was really crying now. “You have to come! Please, take a look. It’s bad. I don’t like standing out here. It’s dark and there are weirdos walking around. Just help me!”

Fucking Christ. “Don’t make a big fucking production out of this! You bumped your car, it’s not a huge deal to get worked up over. Calm down and just walk home. I’ll be there in the morning.”

“Please come, pleeeeeease!!!”

Annoyed that my sleep was interrupted, and irritated with my girlfriend for spazzing out over nothing, I drove to the scene of the tardishness. She was pacing next to her car, arms crossed, tears running down her face. I examined the car. Holy shit. There was a giant gouge in the right front panel where she had turned the car too early as she was backing up into the empty parking spot. I couldn’t believe someone could cause that much damage from parallel parking, not even a hysterical girl.

“What the hell did you do?!”

She explained that once her car bumped into the SUV up front, instead of doing the logical thing and pulling out to try again, she had freaked out and kept her foot on the gas pedal, trying to force her tiny Toyota into the spot. Result: A deep resale value-killing indentation from her car grinding into the bumper of the SUV. I get exasperated with stupidity, so I gave her the cold, hard stare of contempt.

“Give me the keys.”

I pulled her car forward and parked it in the empty spot without incident.

“I wanted you to come help. I was scared out here.”

I pointed at her house across the street. “You could’ve pulled your car out and parked like a normal human being, and then gone home instead of dragging me out here for nothing. Don’t play these little drama acts with me.”

She looked down at the ground. The streetlight reflected off her tear streaked face. “What will we do about the car now?”

“I don’t know. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” I didn’t offer her to come back to my place. “Try not to think about it and go to sleep.”

The next evening she was at my place, apologetic but also hurt that I didn’t rush to her side like a white knight. I barely paid her feelings any heed. Her pain simply didn’t register. That night, we watched porn and I did her in the ass for the first time. She welcomed my meaty intrusion.

When I told a good friend what had happened, the words he used to describe me were “Grade A schmuck. Complete asshole.” Then he wondered why she was still with me and said I didn’t deserve her.

She and I stayed together for another year. The sex was always available and her pussy moist. She never had a “headache”. She accepted my facials with clocklike regularity. In hindsight, she fit the description of a Neurotic Waif perfectly, with elements of the Eternal Ingenue.

The best Asshole Game is when the assholery comes naturally and effortlessly. What I did was not good by most people’s definition of the good, but there’s no denying it worked. After that incident, she was in love with me more than ever.

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A-hole Game: Day 2

Asshole game with 25 year old foreign girlfriend

Her: I love Indian culture. The dancing, the colorful dresses, the religion…

Me: You love Bollywood? There’s no accounting for taste.

Her: [getting seriously agitated] Shut up! The Indian culture is beautiful.

Me: Hey, there’s an Indian guy who lives down the street. Go knock yourself out. You can get some of his culture long and hard.

Her: You’re an ignorant American. A child. What do you know.

Me: I know you’re being annoying.

Later — pussy dripping sex.

Asshole game with bartender chick

Me: [looking at her new hairstyle with a grimace] What did you do to your hair!?

Her: I got bangs! Jesus, fuck you.

Me: It doesn’t work for me.

Three months later — pussy dripping sex. And free drinks.

Asshole game with heavily tattooed chick in indie club

Me: Hi.

Her: [sighing] Just to let you know up front, I’m not interested.

Me: So you’re not going to introduce me to your cute friend?

Later — no sex, but pride as a man.

Asshole game with girl trying to break up with me in Starbucks

Her: I really think this isn’t going to work. I don’t want to do this anymore. Look at us.

Me: [slouching for maximum aloofness effect] I can read your face. You’re a bad liar. But if this is what you want then go ahead. I gotta admit you’re not easy to be in a relationship with. You’re a fucking pain in the ass.

Her: What’s that supposed to mean?!?

Later — six more months of pussy dripping sex.

***

Note: Never smile when running asshole game. It’ll look like you’re backpedaling.

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A-hole Game: Day 1

This week I will discuss Asshole Game. There is no sugarcoating it; being an asshole works on women, all women, most of the time. Any man who has lived a day in his life and isn’t self-deluded by equalist ideology or chick flic romanticism knows this is true, even those PUA “love gurus” who unctuously sermonize that what women really want are “strong confident men” minus the asshole part. Save your holier-than-thou moralizing and desperate attempts to discredit asshole game by falsely claiming it only appeals to low self esteem girls. We’re going to discuss what works, not what should work.

I’ve written before about how effective asshole game is at attracting and keeping your women in line. If you’ve been in a rut, or you’re having troubles with your girlfriend (almost always instigated by the girl), acting like an asshole is the quickest and most efficient way to set things straight. I was talking about this with a couple friends recently and they agreed that no matter how often they see asshole game work, they still can’t accept the reality of it. I hear this said all the time from friends who have witnessed me using asshole game on a girl: “I can’t believe that works.” No surprise. No man truly wants to believe that soul of a woman was created below.

I’m going to briefly describe a scenario from my own life when I was an asshole with a girl, and what effect it had on her. Use my lessons in your own life and be amazed at the results it gets you. (No, seriously.) In the comments, feel free to offer your own asshole suggestions for how you would have handled the situation I present.

I was six months into a relationship with a pretty au pair (standard MO: ten years younger). She lived outside the city. I was already telling her to “see me on a Tuesday night, because this weekend is tough for me. And you need to research getting your green card.” I said this because secretly I was in hunter mode and wanted the weekend nights to myself for preying on fresh meat. My friends thought I was crazy. “She’s the perfect girlfriend. Why would you fuck that up?” “She’s going to know you’re out at the clubs hitting on girls. She’ll leave you.” That’s all I ever heard from them.

One of those weekend nights I was at a music club with friends, chatting with some goth chicks standing around us. Late in the night, my au pair girlfriend showed up at the club, unexpectedly. She had had her host family drop her off in front of the club at 1 am. I never told her where I would be at, let alone that I was even going out that night. She simply guessed and nailed it. I didn’t see her come in. My friends looked over my shoulder with raised eyebrows as my GF sidled up behind me and put her arms around my waist.

*ASSHOLE ALERT*

I turned around and looked at her without smiling, the disappointment etched onto my face. I remember the thoughts going through my head: “Oh man, I won’t be able to hit on any girls now that she’s here.” I muttered “Hey” and with a hint of annoyance asked her how she got there. I told her to get herself a drink. She never left my side for the rest of the night while I constantly glanced around the room. Her eyes blazed with a mixture of love and worry.

We stayed together for another year. It went on like this for a while: Me keeping a distance to surreptitiously hit on new women, her chasing after me. The sex never faltered. It was always hot and her pussy dripped like a faucet right up until the end.

There are genuine assholes who are loved, and there are spiteful assholes who get nowhere. The difference is crucial.

Uncaring asshole = success with women.

Caring asshole = failure with women.

When women say they don’t fall for assholes, they are thinking of the second kind. A caring asshole comes from a place of bitterness and spite. His assholery is reactive rather than proactive. He is poor at calibrating which women will be responsive to his dick attitude. Caring assholes are crassly insulting and transparently invested in the outcome of their game.

Uncaring assholes are assholes as a consequence of their indifference. It is the aloofness of the man she loves that drives women crazy with obsession*, and that aloofness is manifest as asshole behavior. An uncaring asshole demonstrates clearly in his body language and tone of voice, not to mention his dearth of words, that he could take her or leave her. In the scenario above, my asshole behavior mirrored my feelings perfectly — I really did not want her there by my side that night.

*Why do women love assholes? Quickie answer: Sexy Sons hypothesis.

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A Test Of Your Game: The Judging

Tuesday’s post inspired the commenters to heights of creativity and in-depth analysis matched in erudition only by the rapist-like wit of a femtard invasion (with betaboy lackeys in tow). I enjoyed reading through the suggestions. Bravura performance.

I chose answers that best represented the widely known competing tactics for dealing with girls who cancel dates under the pretext of obviously bullshit excuses. The girl in my story technically did not flake because she cancelled well ahead of the scheduled date time, but the method by which she cancelled was in the same spirit as a flake. How you handle a transparently silly cancellation is similar to how you handle an inconsiderate flake.

Mu’Min wrote:

“No prob, holla when U get clear.”

This is the standard cool cat, emotionally neutral, “no skin off my nose” response. This response, and the “no response” response below, should be the default go-to options for guys who don’t know what they’re doing. It’s better to invest in fundamental, low risk, conservative game than to potentially fuck it up by diversifying into high flying techie game where you are thinking too much and sending some overwrought, try-hard text in reply. Is the cool cat response the best available option given the circumstances in my scenario? Probably not, but you can feel safe using it. Your dignity will remain unscathed. This is the tactic to use when you think she’s telling the truth and you want to seem reasonable and trusting. The downside, as one commenter noted, is that you give tacit compliance to her lame excuse. If you’re concerned about rubberstamping her lies, you’re better off not responding at all.
Grade (Cool Cat Game): B

Various readers wrote:

No response. Ignore her.

Textual silence will at least leave her wondering, however briefly, if you received her text and why you didn’t respond like every other guy she’s pulled this stunt on. Roosh has talked about the effects this has on a girl. If her flake was a reflexive shit test, you can prod her curiosity with the lack of a reply. Then you give yourself an outside chance that she calls you just before the originally scheduled date time to ask if you got her message. This is good because it means she will have complied with your frame. But if she seriously lost all interest after the first meet, then you just saved yourself ten seconds not answering her text.
Grade (No Response Game): A

red wrote:

Wait a few days then send her a message to the effect: ”Hey, you missed out on a really great after dinner orgy. You shoulda been there, the action was awesome. Maybe next time.” Delivered in a straight dead-pan manner. No smiley faces or “lols”.

Cannon’s Canon wrote:

“I’m being sentenced Monday morning so it’s literally now or never”

These fall under the category of humorous, cocky replies. I laughed, but will she? Maybe. Will that mean she calls you for a date reschedule? Not likely.
Grade: C, on a humor curve

Flashman wrote:

“Hmmm…not good. You will have to make this up to me. You will give me a shoulder massage when you see me, so limber up those hands.”

This is an example of the “Still Gaming Her” response. If you don’t want to “NEXT” a girl (and if you’re a beta who hasn’t gotten laid in a while, “nexting” can seem like an awfully frustrating method for retaining your abundance mentality), then you should continue to run game with the intent of rebuilding the attraction that was there when you first met in that grimy bar. Upside: When it works, it works like gangbusters. Downside: It only works on girls who are still interested. Note: The “Still Gaming Her” text should be sent relatively soon after receiving her cancellation text. Otherwise, it will sound weird.
Grade: B-

agnostic wrote:

“That’s disappointing. We can meet on [whatever day], same time, same place. If that doesn’t work for you, we can cancel.”

sk3ptic wrote:

“Something came up I can’t hang with you tomorrow, blah blah blah.”

Similar in function to the “Still Gaming Her” text, the IOD (Indicator of Disinterest) text is an attempt to steal her frame by disqualifying yourself on the follow-up. Catch: Letting a girl know you’re willing to walk works better on girls who haven’t already disqualified themselves with their flaky behavior. Sk3ptic’s suggestion to act as if you never even saw her cancellation text is particularly intriguing as an example of appealing directly to a woman’s emotions and circumventing her logic. Reframing an interaction with a girl does not require logic. It just requires balls. And chicks dig balls; logic… not so much.
Grade: Player’s C

VK wrote:

Send her a multimedia text of a picture of your balls sack then text the words… “suck it”

This is “Nuke the pussy from orbit” text game. We should all do this. The story we could tell our buddies is worth more than the lay.
Grade: A+ if it’s an animated gif

tokyojesusfist wrote:

picking up women has nothing to do with being an alpha.

Grade: Massive Beta

Jay Gatsby wrote:

“don’t call me. I’ll call you when I get back”.

Give or take a week later, send her another text saying “I’m back. Call you later.”

This is Stratego Game. Requires forethougtht and planning. I like it for its bold moves. Something like this could shake a girl back into attraction. Downside: Too many steps to implement.
Grade: B-

Joe T. wrote:

“OK, no problem. Then meet me at the Hilton at 9 on Saturday, I will be giving a”

Jesus_Lizard wrote:

“Sounds good, but where did we meet again?…. Just kidding, how about we”

Ah yes, the dangling penis texts. Keep her wondering what the hell you were going to say. I’ve never tried this, so you’ll have to put in the field work yourselves to judge its effectiveness.
Grade: Incomplete

Kick a Bitch wrote:

“tell her to suck it up… we’re far more important ;)”

Now this is how you romance a girl.
Grade: Love

Will wrote:

“…Yes?”

Will is right that alphas do not send verbose texts. I’ve written about this before; the more laconic you are the better. But I think a lot of readers are making a mistake to assume the girl knows she sent a truncated text. Sometimes you type out a long text, send it, and close your phone without ever realizing it got partitioned into two texts. So the “Yes?” response is likely to confuse her. Which may not be a bad thing.
Grade: B+

Chuck wrote:

“You’re divorced!! Just kidding. That works out great , there’s xyz (make it sound like a big deal) and i was going to tell you I couldn’t make it. We’ll do something another day”

This is a double-barreled DLV. Your ploy to recuse yourself from the cancelled date post-hoc won’t fool her, and you’re offer of a future meetup when she just flaked on you with an insulting excuse is beta.
Grade: F

bds wrote:

“Flake. Rude.”

samuel wrote:

“I don’t know if you’re lying or not, but texting me in this way is bullshit. Cut the crap, make it up to me, and maybe I’ll give you access to my cock.”

You can’t guilt a woman into seeing you again. Women are led around by their emotions. If you make her feel bad for flaking, she’ll associate bad feelings with you. You may think you’re being an asshole, but assholes don’t care enough to feel an obligation to enlighten a girl on her bad manners. Don’t bother with these “calling her out on her BS” texts. They rarely work except on mentally unbalanced girls. I’m not theorizing here. I speak from solid experience. I once spent a couple months experimenting by calling out all the flaky girls I met. I sent about eight “I don’t accept this sort of rudeness” style texts to them when they flaked. Result: Not one of those girls replied.
Grade: D-

el chief wrote:

“gay. you’re buying if we meet up again”

This is a great example of classic old school asshole game. I love it. Short, direct, non-needy and edgy. Downside: It gives off a whiff of emotionally affected annoyance. Won’t work on girls you didn’t leave a strong impression on when you first met, but those it does work on will fuck you right after they buy you that drink.
Grade: A for Alpha Asshole

JAW wrote:

“I’ve got lots of plans over the next couple weeks. Change your plans with your friend to lunch, and I’ll see you at 8 tomorrow.”

Some would say you shouldn’t force a girl to choose between you and her friend, but an alpha would say “fuck that” and lead her to the place he wants her to be. If she’s a highly primative girl, she’ll respond favorably to this angle of attack. Now you’ve got a girl who would flake on her friend to jump your bone.
Grade: Pass and Fail

Rain And wrote:

“My friend’s band is playing again, Sunday the 15th @ xxx. You should check them out.”

Great example of Indirect text game. Don’t acknowledge her cancellation, and don’t forgive her flake by setting up another date. Just drop a hint that you’re cool if she wants to meet you someplace you’ll already be. Upside: You seem detached. Downside: It puts too much of the decision making process in her hands.
Grade: B-

******

What I Did

Ten minutes before the time we were supposed to meet, I sent this:

Hey, good luck.

I knew the excuse she gave was utterly ridiculous bullshit, so I figured the odds of meeting her again had dropped to near zero. But in the off chance that she was telling the truth, (remember, in my story her friend looks depressed. she could have been the one who was dumped), I wanted to keep the channels open for future contact. A brief, emotionally neutral text at the last second was the answer.

Everyone needs to read this comment by stagetwo. He has absolutely nailed the psychology behind the flake and the mental frame you must possess to deal with them.

if you show you assume it’s true, you’re beta: naive.
if you show you assume it’s not true, you’re beta: insecure.

In short, the matter of her veracity is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to your response. Think about it. An alpha does not care whether she’s telling the truth. Lying and flaking is all part of the wonderful fabric of femininity. He is, by nature, unmoved by such precocious antics. Stagetwo’s suggestion is either No Response or:

“sure. guess what i just saw: [unrelated observation of mutual interest]”

Grade: Money

Here are a couple more options you can pursue for dealing with flakes and which might work well.

• Flake first.

Some guys suggest the “Flake First” strategy of literally flaking out on a girl before she has had a chance to flake on you. This takes some serious balls, because most men are too weak and needy to actively blow up a chance to see a girl they like. This strategy would mean going against every instinct in your male psychology. Which is exactly why it could work on chicks like catnip. Give it a whirl. Cancel on the next three girls you schedule dates with. Don’t set up an alternate date. Just text something along the lines of “Hey, hate to say this but I have to cancel because of X. Another time.” Wait a few days. The next time you talk to her to arrange a meet, she’ll be itching to see you.

• Preselection game.

PUA Savoy has suggested sending this:

no problem, i’ll invite someone else.

“I’m a guy with options” game can blow up in your face if done under duress. You risk sounding spiteful. This type of text game could work well if you had arranged a very casual date to meet up at some event, like a show or dance class. It will have a plausible ring of truth in those cases. But if you had a one on one date at a bar with her and she cancels, then telling her you’ll invite another girl in her place will sound like a face-saving lie. This one needs field testing.

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A Test Of Your Game

The previous two times I presented a hypothetical pickup scenario and challenged you to respond with your best game, most of you revealed your beta soul with weak suggestions, but a few commenters showed a spark of alpha. Let’s see how you fare this time.

You’re at a dive bar and a friend’s crappy band is playing. You notice a cute hippie-ish chick across the room. She looks back at you ever so briefly, but a half second is all you need. As you’re mentally analyzing the logistics for optimal approach angle, she and her depressed-looking girlfriend wind their way through the small crowd and position themselves closer to you, talking to each other. Proximity IOI! You know what this means. You go in… smooth, confident, maybe one eyebrow arched, you cocky sonofabitch?

Entry is perfect. You engage her effortlessly and she responds well, smiling right away. Opening with an exceedingly trenchant observation about the band, you quickly segue into teasing her about something you notice she’s wearing. You manage to squeeze in a little kino, lightly touching her arm and the small of her back, and even a funny braid in her hair (which you gently mock, naturally). Five minutes later, attraction is established. (It shouldn’t take long if you know what you’re doing.)

She tells you that her friend wants to meet someone at another bar, so she’s going to go. She says this with an expectant look in her eyes. You notice her friend is standing with poor posture and glumly gazing around the room. A quick review of the situation tells you that following your girl like a puppy dog would look beta (after all, you’re there for your friend’s band, and they are still playing), so you say you’d like to chat again and hand her your phone. She takes it and proceeds to not only type in her number, but her name. She leaves with her sad friend.

Five minute interaction. Not enough time to move her into deeper rapport when you can impart a more indelible impression on her. You realize that mere attraction is not enough to secure a solid phone number, but you have to take your chances. A shaky number close is better than no number at all. A few minutes later, she sends you a text saying you are “adorable” and she’d like drinks soon. You text back, scolding her humorously for calling you adorable, and saying you will call. She texts once more with a funny throwaway line to which you don’t respond. (You know better than to incriminate yourself by sending the last text.)

A couple days later you call. Voicemail. No surprise there. You leave a brief message. “Hey, it’s [Massive Alpha]. Give me a call when you get this. Bye.” Four hours later she calls back. Still not surprised. After a flirty and fun ten minute conversation, you set up a date with her in two days. The day before the date you get the following text from her:

“Hey – a friend of mine is going through a break up and needs to talk tomorrow night. The rest of my week is crazy. I’ll give you a call later on and we’ll make…” [her text gets cut off here]

What do you do?

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Tomorrow I will post a selection of answers from the readers and judge them accordingly. Then I will tell you what I did.

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