Game For Girls

Looks – 95%

We’ll get the obvious out of the way first. If you are ugly, blame your ugly parents for selfishly conceiving you. Makeup will add one point MAX, and eventually has to come off. What’s left for a woman to improve her dating market value isn’t much but in the bitch eat bitch world of the modern American manhunt even the smallest improvements count.

Femininity – 3%

You could also call this demure sweetness, or coyness, or emotionalism, or maternalism, or selflessness, or vulnerability. Whatever word you give it, men are drawn to it. There’s a reason it’s the girl putting her head on the man’s chest after sex, and not the other way around. Lawyers start off with negative points in this category, just below professional softball players.

Kinkiness – 1.5%

Sexual voracity won’t win a man (because he has to want to have sex with you first) but it will help keep him around for the long haul. A cute girl who loves anal has a better chance of converting her boyfriend to a husband than an equally cute girl who thinks the anus is a portal to Satan’s inner sanctum.

Sincerity – 0.3%

Don’t play games. For instance, take the one simple step of answering our calls promptly and you have leapfrogged to the front of the line.

Plastic Surgery – 0.1%

Don’t let its popularity fool you. Plastic surgery still has a long way to go before it can make women younger and hotter without turning them into grotesque cat-like aliens. (A cat lady’s dream?) This includes boob jobs. I’ve yet to see a breast augmentation that didn’t look (or feel) like a scoop of damp cement on top of a chest cavity. The only cosmetic surgery procedures that actually make the woman look better are nose jobs and botox for very small wrinkles in the forehead and around the eyes. Gastric bypasses are effective too, as long as she’s never seen naked.

Childlessness – 0.1%

Nothing keeps a woman’s body in prime groping shape for longer than abstaining from childbirth. Plus, kids are a total buzzkill. Is there anything worse than tripping over a toy and hitting the floor with a full erection? Bonus: Vaginal resilience!

The Rest – <0.1%

You know all those things girls think help them attract guys? They don’t. Fashion, shoes, hair styles, degrees, career, smarts, sassiness, dance moves, cultural sophistication, creativity, humor, encyclopedic knowledge of celebrity gossip, travel experiences, how well they “work what they got”, connections, alcohol tolerance, big breasts on a fat woman, scenester credentials, musical taste, personal philosophy, charity work, hobbies — don’t bother putting more than a token effort into these life improvements unless you are a lesbian. Men hardly care except to impress you with their listening ability.

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Hovering

One of the most socially inept mistakes I see guys doing is the Rejection Hover. (The Hesitation Hover is almost as bad but at least in that scenario the guy can pretend he’s just waiting around for a friend to arrive.) It usually happens like this: Guy walks up to a girl who is alone or with a group of friends, runs his pitch, fails to capture her interest, gets the cold shoulder… and inexplicably decides to hover — like a hungry but stupid bee trying to find the entrance to a complicated flower — in their immediate vicinity even though they have turned their backs to him.

Instead of walking away with his pride intact he opts to loiter along the group’s perimeter, losing status points by the second. It is painful to watch. Nothing telegraphs ‘NEEDY LOSER’ faster than standing uncomfortably with a befuddled and forlorn look on your face peering over the shoulders of people who have concluded you suck.

Why do men do this? (And I’ve caught myself hovering a few times from lapses in judgement.) Odds are most men are just too lazy to move the fuck away to another spot in the venue or aren’t aware how badly hovering carries the stink of beta. You can’t fix what you don’t know is wrong. The other reason may be that he really believes the girl will warm up to him if he physically imposes himself in her peripheral vision. Maybe he wishes that she’ll give a second look at his tough grimace, chiseled triceps, or cool hand-in-jeans-pocket stance and reconsider his mate value. This is projection. Because guys are looks-focused, we think girls are equally looks-focused. But that is a failure of imagination. Once a girl has decided she doesn’t like your personality she loses all interest in your looks or how suavely you can hook your thumb through your belt loop.

This is why it is critically important to refrain from orbiting a set that has snubbed your efforts to engage them, if for no other reason than to avoid looking like a feeble choad.

There are alternatives to hovering that will have you come out looking less beta. You could re-enter the set one more time, gums blazing, and try to sell yourself with a new pitch. You could eject confidently and find another target, preferably one that hasn’t seen you just get blown out. You could casually turn and chat with an adjacent group of people as if your target’s rejection was completely inconsequential to your state of mind. You could call over your wingman to occupy your awkward social isolation. You could walk ten feet away.

Exception: If a girl or group of girls approaches you, it’s acceptable to stay put if your opener receives a chilly reception. In this instance, it would be the group that is hovering, not you.

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Further Thoughts On Dating Younger Women

Some of my commenters mentioned that it should be easier for older guys to date younger girls because of the inherent attraction women have for worldly, mature men. This assumption is true in the abstract, but needs to be amended.

Maxim #7: The greater the age difference between the older man and the younger woman, the tighter his game will need to be, barring compensatory attributes.

This is why a 25 year old guy can get away with a little more beta behavior when gaming 22 year old girls than a 35 year old man gaming the same girls. There is a smaller margin of error when the age difference approaches ten years plus, and the women are under 25. The upshot is that an older man with good game is EXTREMELY attractive to all women because the experience is so rare.

Maxim #7 applies to about 60% of women under 25. I have found that 40% of under 25 women have no problem dating much older guys, and many even actively seek out the dashing older gentleman. What this means in the field is that if you are over 30 and hitting on 22 year olds, you will be rebuffed slightly more frequently before you even open your mouth than if you were closer in age to your targets. Don’t worry about it. Chances are good that for every girl who sneers “How old are you??” the very next one will welcome your advances. Only when you notice all your approaches beginning with your target’s incredulity should you consider raising the lower bound age limit of the women you hit on. But trust me, that point comes much later than most guys realize.

Another commenter wondered if joking about the age difference would help deflate its impact. Be careful with this course of action; it can easily backfire. If you do make light of it, don’t go overboard. Too much evasive joking betrays a faint whiff of insecurity, especially if you are the one to broach the age subject first. One offhand joke is enough. For instance, when asked my age, I sometimes say “My chronological age or my emotional age? Cause, you know, emotionally I’m 14. Wanna go to the arcade?”

The same applies when being asked about your job. One “joke job” is enough. If you reel off a litany of joke jobs, she will suspect you really are an unemployed loser with something to hide.

Nowadays I skip the joking entirely and don’t mention age at all unless my date shows signs of unease with the age difference. In these cases I handle any age objections like this:

Her: “So I have to ask… how old are you?”
Me: “Guess.”
Her: “29.”
Me: “Pretty good. [notice I didn’t actually confirm her guess] How old are you?”
Her: “23.”
Me: “Wow, my ex was 23… no wait, it was her birthday last week, she just turned 24. Normally I like to date older women because they are classy and sophisticated, but maybe you are different.”

I have done two things here: One, I’ve showed her that I am no stranger to dating younger women. They like to know you are loved by other women similar to themselves in age and beauty. (This is why dating a fat chick is actually worse for your product marketability than being single.) Two, I have put her on the defensive so that she is now working hard to get my approval. Most women are secretly hoping that you will challenge them like this. They WANT to be the approval-seekers.

Once you’ve mastered the most important part of picking up younger women — your attitude — you can improve those secondary characteristics that will help round out your game. Here are some:

• Stay in shape.

It’s not hard. Don’t overeat and hit the gym regularly. The real gym with iron, not the froo froo one with elliptical machines and treadmills. Women are forgiving of general aging in a man, but they are less lenient when that man has a round gut and bitch tits.

• Baldness.

If you are balding, shave it to the scalp skin. There is nothing worse than the monk’s ring. If I were balding, I would shave it all off and get a spitting cobra tattoo wrapped around my skull. Job promotions would soon follow.

• Fashion.

Dress younger and trendier than the average guy in your age bracket, but not so trendy that you look ridiculous. For instance, if you are 30, upgrade from designer hoodies to designer blazers. Chuck the Chucks for Steve Maddens and Pradas. $50 t-shirts are still OK if you have an excellent V-shaped torso to show off, but most men will want to move on to snappy spread-collared shirts after 30.

• Tattoos.

This is a little trickier as you run the risk of looking like a prole, but tattoos add an aura of toughness that works well to compensate for the perception of blandness as you age into the next demographic.

• Become artistic.

Drop the typcial American male hobbies like drinking and football and take up photography and guitar. Expressing yourself artistically is so attractive to so many younger women that it virtually negates any doubts about your age.

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Top Two Rules For Dating Younger Women

The two critical rules for older guys dating girls under 25:

Rule #1: Don’t be needy

You should never be needy with any woman (exceptions made if she’s an over 30 divorcee with two kids and a Snickers bar figure) but it is especially important to refrain from showing even the slightest displays of neediness with the under 25 girls. A young woman is extra-sensitive to the subtle signals that a man gives off when he is a little too happy to be with her. If the guy she likes is significantly older, like ten years or more, she’ll be that much more on guard for beta bahavior. An older guy who is needy is a bigger loser than a younger guy who is needy, because the younger guy at least has the excuse of inexperience. Plus, the older guy has to learn how to handle the elevated risk of being labeled a “lech” or “pervy”.

Examples:

Texting
29 year old texts you. Wait 5 minutes before replying.
22 year old texts you. Wait 1 hour before replying, unless it’s a weekend night in which case don’t text back until the next day.

Calling
29 year old calls. Pick up on the third ring.
22 year old calls. Let it go to voicemail and return call minimum of 2 hours later.

Going to a bar together
Chat up one other girl in 29 year old’s presence. Any more than that and you will make her too insecure.
Leave 22 year old for 30 minute stretches of time to flirt with girls in different parts of the bar. If she sees three or more girls laughing along with you, bonus points. You are guaranteed sex that night.

Shit testing
If 29 year old tells you some random guy flirted with her today, show a hint of jealousy.
If 22 year old tells you some random guy flirted with her today, say you hoped she number closed him because she needs a shopping boyfriend.

Post-coital challenge
29 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Me too.”
22 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Thanks! Keep it coming. I’m a sucker for flattery.”

Communication breakdown
29 year old mysteriously stops contacting you. Wait four days before sending casual text asking her out on another date.
22 year old mysteriously stops contacting you. Do not attempt to contact her again. In two months you have a 50% chance of getting a text from her wanting to see you.

Rule #2: Don’t be insecure

Many older guys who like dating younger girls fall into the trap of fretting about the age difference. He makes the mistake of bringing the issue up before she has, or cracking awkward jokes about her youth. His age insecurity will lead him to lean on his money or job status as attraction ploys because he won’t believe that a cute younger girl could love him for his personality or strength of character.

The truth is that, contrary to the sugar daddy cultural message, money and a high status job are not required to attract younger women. They help, but what helps a lot more is tight game and a dominant, charming personality. If you are unfazed by the age difference, she will be too. Run the same game at 35, 45, and 55 that you would at 25.

Bear in mind that younger women (barring a few notable golddigger exceptions) are not as practical as older women. They are more whimsical, flirty, passionate, and romantic, and this means you will get more mileage having a youthful outlook, being recklessly spontaneous, maintaining a high level of energy, and focusing on the emotional connections, than you would tempting them with the allure of financial stability and security.

If you follow my advice above, you will have no trouble finding a girl much younger than you to fall in love with you.

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My Weird Scientology Date

Role playing is an effective method for bonding with girls. I like to role play with my dates, whether it’s preplanned or spontaneous. The act of assuming different personas and creating impromptu storylines seems to strike at a very primal core in women, making them giggle and light up with waves of pleasure. It’s like women crave this secret world you are inviting them into, a world of heightened sensation and exaggerated drama, as an antidote to their humdrum daily lives of pushing papers at work and emptying the litter box.

The better you are at improv, the wetter she will get. Docter/nurse, cop/speeder, teacher/disobedient student, pimp/hooker, CEO/secretary, irate manager/shoplifter… the pattern should be obvious.

On one date, I gave the girl a guided tour of an old (and very colorful) Russian Orthodox church, complete with ad libbed biographies of the various saints painted on the walls and ceilings. In my best wizened elder priest voice I pretended to welcome her into my confessional as she instantly caught on and slipped into the role of a naughty teenage girl who wished to confess her sin of indulging prurient thoughts of me. I called her “my child” a lot and she answered “yes, father” in lip-bitingly sweet girlish squeaks.

Another time, we went go-kart racing and play-acted a James Bond car chase scene through the narrow streets of Rome. She blew me a kiss as she sideswiped my go-kart into the rubber track wall. My British accent was horrible and her Italian accent left something to be desired, but it was the thought that counted.

But the best/worst role playing date I ever had was one that was more real than imaginary. As we were walking up the ave we stopped in front of the Church of Scientology building. Feeling mischievous and morbidly curious, I told my date we would be disillusioned D-list actors looking for enlightenment from alternative spiritual sources.

When we approached the door a bald, middle-aged man opened it a second before I was about to knock. He welcomed us in and as we stood in the foyer admiring the cartoonish portrait of L. Ron Hubbard hanging on the wall my date and I launched into our spiel about seeking spiritual fulfillment away from the “oppressive dogma of organized religion”. The guy’s face lit up like a home pregnancy test. He gave us the guided tour, enthusiastic but in a carefully measured speaking voice. Like a good salesman, he avoided scaring us off with the hard sell too early, instead asking us questions about ourselves and our search for meaning.

He asked if we had cameras (I lied) because apparently they have a no picture policy when people are present. We walked slowly around the main foyer peeking into each room while our guide spoke of the wonders of Dianetics (oddly, he never mentioned the E-meter which I wanted to try). The first room appeared to be an old study of thick, gnarled mahogany and floor-to-ceiling rows of bookshelves crammed with ancient tomes. There were a few library-style desks with reading lamps at which four men were seated, all of whom wearing green accountants’ eye visors and poring over books, brows furrowed in deep concentration. When we looked in, none of them glanced up from their books to acknowledge us.

At this point my date started to feel weirded out. Why? Because besides the green eyeshades, all those guys were dressed in the same clothes — white shirt, blue slacks, dark tie. And they seemed a little too engrossed in whatever they were reading.

The next room reminded me of that scene from A Clockwork Orange where they pry the guy’s eyes open with a metal contraption and force him to watch an endless montage of violent and pornographic video clips. It was a couple rows of neatly aligned empty chairs placed a few feet in front of a small movie screen. Nothing else, just that. If we were in any other residence, I wouldn’t have given it much thought, but the haunted vibe emanating from this mansion made me think of the worst scenarios. I tried to snap a picture of the room by cradling the camera in my palm and holding it tight by my hip, but our host wouldn’t stop looking directly at me.

While our scientologist friend blabbed, my date’s expression changed from giddiness to discomfort. She was no longer a D-list spiritually-deprived celebrity. She had had enough. The cultish vibes were beginning to accumulate. I cut him off and said we had to go, and he shoved some pamphlets in our hands. Stepping outside felt relieving.

The mood was ruined. I didn’t get a kiss from her at the end of the date. Scientology had cockblocked me.

I wonder if this is how normal people felt during the inception of the world’s major religions. Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, egalitarianism… they all must have struck naturally skeptical people as cultish and absurd when they first began. Only when enough time has passed do religions acquire a veneer of respectability and deference. Enough time has not passed for Scientology to hide its cultish essence under somber rituals and literary texts.

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Thought Experiment

You’ve met a girl, hit it off, and banged her. A week later, you bang her again, but this time she says she has to go for good because, and though she feels bad about covering it up, she’s actually in a relationship. You, being the intrepid pussy hound you are, understand that her “relationship” is creaking like an old attic. With the right words you have a chance of stealing her away.

After she mentions the boyfriend, replying with which of the following will give you the best odds of banging her again:

a) “It’s good that you’ve found your one true love. People can sometimes search forever and never find that person who opens them up to explore all the possibilities. I’m sure when you see him your heart still races… he sparks your passion… you feel electricity every time he touches you… that is a great feeling… to know you have that with someone who really REALLY loves you… and you really love in return.”

b) “I can tell by the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice you’re not into this guy. This is crazy, I know, but I’m going to guess that you feel you should be with someone else… now, with me… I never stay in relationships for convenience. Do you know what I mean? There is too little time in this world to waste it on someone you don’t love. You can do better. Forget about him and just be here with me.”

c) “Boyfriend?? Drop the zero and get with the hero, babe!”

d) “Boyfriend? That’s cool. Bring him along! He can buy us drinks.”

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Serial Seducer

I have found my twin ego – platonic soulmate – in New York City. He’s a self-proclaimed serial seducer who has just outed himself on national TV. Despite the anti-romance subversion of his message, his fifteen minutes of fame will guarantee a doubling of his current notch count. His steely-eyed pursuit of the pussy earns him my respect.

“Either you acknowledge reality and use it to your benefit, or it will automatically work against you.”
– Robert Ringer

He has written a short e-book outlining his pickup philosophy and field tactics. Standard fare for those of us in the know, but a wider audience would probably find his advice scandalous. I noticed a lot of what he writes parallels my experiences in the field. For instance, he agrees with my assessment of the best night of the week to go out for picking up chicks:

My schedule is drinks with girls Sunday night through Wednesday, and often Friday as well because it’s an early night because I work at 8:30 on Saturday morning. Thursdays, perhaps the best night of the week to go out, I usually go “window shopping” with a buddy, a wingman. We usually go out to check out the hot scenes and look at the girlies all done-up. We may meet a couple girls, even get digits or get laid, but the bulk of my work is not accomplished here.

He also agrees with me on the value of building intrigue in a woman by not talking too much when you first meet her:

The less than one-minute engagement works for a number of reasons. First off all, it prevents the guy from doing anything stupid or awkward, or revealing too much. A nervous guy can torpedo a promising situation by talking too much and turning the girl off, or freaking her out, perhaps by mentioning he lives at home with his folks, or something like that. The less talking you do, the better. Women, as well as men, like the fantasy or “romance” of meeting “that guy”, and since almost no guy is ever going to live-up to some bullshit Prince Charming archetype (who wants to, anyhow) at least prolong the fantasy for your benefit. This leads to the second reason the one-minute engagement works: it maintains the intrigue. “Who was that dashing stranger I just met in the rain?” she thinks as you walk off with your raincoat trailing and your umbrella extended. As they are reeling from the encounter, trying to process what just happened and remember the fine details of what you said, and how you looked, and just how you stood, you’re already gone, not there to fuck it up. They’re hooked. Their mind is already working on you.

Luck favors the laconic. Until you’ve had sex with a woman, it’s my experience that less talking is better. Women tend to be better talkers and can intuit a tremendous amount from some guy who is yapping his gums off. Keep things unspoken, or refuse to divulge stuff; above all, keep it playful, flirty and mildly combative. The French have a word for it – badinage – which means playful, verbal banter.

Keep in mind that this guy is a Harvard grad, so it’s not stupidity that necessitates his economy of words.

I was not surprised to see he’s a big fan of text messaging, like I am, which flies in the face of some of the conventional wisdom that texting is beta:

It is the era of the text message, and men all over the world should be thanking their lucky stars. Not only is this the most effective way to control the conversation and avoid missteps, but you can now reach a larger audience. As my friend Nathan says, “Text messaging has got to be the worst thing that has happened to women in a long time.” It removes that old filter that used to prevent all types of guys from getting laid, something we call “Women’s Intuition”. You know what I’m talking about. You leave a pleasant voicemail on some chic’s phone after meeting her, but you ramble a bit and the tone of your voice becomes increasingly less confident and unsure of itself. You hang up, dissatisfied with the call. It’s the Swingers dilemma – do you call back, etc. (Never call back, by the way). She senses your nervousness, gets turned off, and deletes your number.

Getting little text messages via phone gets them excited in the way a little girl gets excited about a letter from Daddy when he’s away. There is something more fun or romantic, and mysterious about texting, I don’t know. Plus you can make outrageous propositions that you could never deliver with aplomb over the phone, much less in person.

From the video, Janka is a good-looking guy, and that, coupled with the power of dropping the H-bomb on dates, probably gives him a leg up over the average schmo. However, he says his success rate with women only skyrocketed after he learned game — or what he calls “having fun and maintaining my integrity as a man” — which is really just another way to describe the heart of game. This, too, comports with my personal experience. No matter how much objective value a man brings to the dating table, if he doesn’t have a grasp of female psychology and how to handle it his interactions with women will feel like a grind — cajoling, compromising, begging, pushing, pleading, pursuing — just to get a taste of pussy.

Reading further into Janka’s e-book, it turns out he makes little money as an SAT tutor and lives in a glorified closet in Manhattan. In NYC, this is enough to negate his advantage in looks and educational credentials. So clearly game is his biggest asset.

In a related article, a frigid man-hating bitch psychiatrist offers the following helpful advice to a 41 year old man who loves making love with women and being happy as a man:

For your own sake and for the sake of everyone else unfortunate enough to have their lives intersect with yours, you need help. If you don’t stop this behavior, you will likely contract a disease, get yourself arrested or enrage someone so much that you are harmed. If you want to try living a normal life — something beyond a life governed by sexual addiction — you need treatment, either individual treatment or group treatment.

Yes, did you get that? If you are a man who is not afraid to be a man and likes sex with a variety of women you need professional help. I wonder if I counseled women who were addicted to commitment from the men they dated that they should seek treatment for their conditions how they would take it? Offended, I’m guessing. And if the women I counseled complained that they can’t help themselves, I will say “You have free will, right?”

Older women on the precipice of sexual extinction – like this wretched psychiatrist – especially loathe men who are able to exercise their options in the sexual market because these men, through their actions seducing multitudes of women, remind them of their rapidly diminishing market value and interchangeability. A free man who can get pussy when he wants undermines the greatest source of women’s power. To the keepers of polite society, it cannot stand, so men who are able to satisfy their sex drives must be demonized and declared unfit for normal life.

I am wishing this desiccated cunt psychiatrist labial cancer with my mind.

In other news, Chelsea Clinton is still dog ugly. I predict she will have her first… and only… child at the tender age of 36. The Bush twins, meanwhile, will be very fertile.

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