Compliance

Spend any amount of time in the company of naturals and you’ll notice something they all have in common is how, without much forethought, they have women do things for them.

“Here, take my hand.”

“Follow me.”

“Be a cool girl and buy me a beer.”

“Hold onto my scarf, I want to show you something.” 

Pickup artists have a name for this type of social interaction — compliance game. It’s a very important component of pickup because it serves two powerful functions; one, it forces the woman into the man’s frame of reality, and two, it raises his value relative to hers. If she is not getting her way and is consenting to him getting his way, then she is in his world where he makes the rules. He now sets the pace and direction of the seduction. This is very attractive to women. When she invests in him by doing things for him, no matter how insignificant (“hold my scarf”), her acquiescence creates an emotional state that influences her perception of him as having high social value. The very act of assenting to a random person’s command establishes an authority/follower dynamic, no matter the objective differences in their actual value.

Pickup artists have, in all their systematizing and categorizing intellectual glory, devised ways to mimic the naturals’ instinctive game and get the same results from women. I have used these methods, both consciously and instinctually, and the results are nothing short of astounding. Testing for compliance is an indispensable technique.

Recent innovations in the “pickup community” give even more ammunition to the inveterate seducer. Here, I will pass along one.

Sometimes, a girl will not comply with the positive vibe you are trying to generate. Maybe you said something nerdy or you were prematurely forward or your body language wasn’t right. When this happens an awkward tension occurs. She looks at you funny or crosses her arms. Think of it as her trying to impose her reality on you. The way to turn it around is to call her out on her behavior and make it seem as if her noncompliance is strange. For example, let’s say you just asked her to give you her palm for a reading and she reacts with a weird look.

Girl: [weird look]

You: [lean back and give her a suspicious eye] Hey, what’s going on? You’re giving me a funny look and it’s really making me feel kind of awkward. You’re cool with all this, right?

Girl: No, don’t worry, everything’s cool. It was just a strange request.

You: Yeah, well, that look you gave was weirding me out. If you’re not comfortable feel free to leave anytime.

Girl: No, no, really, it’s OK. You’re cool.

Congratulations, you have just escorted the girl straight into your reality. Not only is she complying, but she has verbalized that you are cool. By calling her weird for her behavior or saying she is giving off weird vibes, (“weird” is an excellent word to use on a girl because it’s a word that girls use all the time to describe things about men that bother them), you force her to qualify herself to you. Adding that she can leave at any time assuages her that you are non-needy.

You can run with this technique until she is all smiles, telling you she likes you, and hugging you.

You: I’m glad we’re cool with each other. Come here, give me a hug. Whoa, hands up here, not down there!

Ultimately, the goal is to reframe every negative thing a girl does or says as a problem with her, not you, so that you are never on the defensive making excuses for yourself. A defensive man is a sexless man.

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Reversing A Cold Shoulder

I hit a new club recently with a guy who runs a pickup workshop as a second job.  As soon as we entered I knew I had found paradise — the whole place was filled with East European babes.  I didn’t even need to see their round, high-cheekboned faces and pouty lips up close to know where they were born.  The classy and sophisticated, yet slightly tacky, fashion statements of the women were the tipoff.  Floor-length (real) fur coats and shiny black cocktail dresses were the norm.  The club resonated with the pleasing sounds of thick Russian accents until Gunther turned up the volume on the thumping eurotrash music and my ears began bleeding.

My buddy swooped in on two girls, a 5 and an 8.5, sitting at the bar.  I stood nearby to hear his game.  We had a code worked out so that when I saw that he had “hooked” the set (meaning, made the girls laugh) I would come in and ask if he had “seen Sarah”.  If he wanted me to wing for him he would introduce me to the girls.

As I stood nearby hidden by the crowd, I eavesdropped surreptitiously and learned that the two girls were Bulgarian.  The 8 was extremely cold, turning away to sigh and look at the dancefloor and generally make her displeasure known.  This was expected.  As I’ve written, women from the former Soviet Bloc are cold as ice on the approach and will shit test mercilessly to weed out the lesser men.  They respond well to mild insults, edgy teasing, condescension, and damning with faint praise.

My friend used the classic “Did you see the two girls fighting outside?” opener.  His game is high energy so this opener suits his style.  The hotter chick looked directly at him without cracking even the slightest smile and the following conversation ensued:

Her:  [imagine a heavy slavic accent] That sounds like a bad pickup line.
Him:  What, you don’t trust me?  If you can’t trust me how am I supposed to trust you?
Her:  I heard that line on a show about guys picking up girls.  There was no fight outside.

Now at this point most guys would have bailed, figuring that there was not only zero attraction, but in fact a negative vibe.  He plowed on.

Him:  [turning to the target’s friend]  Is she always like this?  I bet she questions everything you say just to be different.  How do you deal with her?  Let’s show her how to be fun.  [Friend laughs]
Her:  Oh, you are going to show me how to be fun?  That is very presumptuous for a guy who makes up stories.
Him:  Let me tell you what a real bad pickup line sounds like… you know, kind of like the lines you hear all the time from guys like these [motions around the room].  “Where are you from?”  “Can I buy you a drink?”  “What’s your sign?”  “You’re pretty.”  I bet you fall for those all the time.

That’s when it happened; the moment a deep, physical attraction was created.  A smile forced its way on her face and she laughed as her body turned in his direction.  The signs are always unmistakeable.

He then launched into a story about a kid on a tricycle flipping him the bird on Christmas Eve, and the girls were completely hooked.  He would focus his attention on one and the other would lean in and say to her friend “what did he just say?”  Frequently, they would interrupt him (as girls are wont to do since their minds tend to jump erratically from one topic to the next) and he used these breaks in the flow of conversation to say things like “Wow, your eyes are pretty… especially the right one.”

Women who believe game cannot create attraction, but can only amplify attraction that already exists, are wrong.  This guy, who was at least two points lower than the girl in the looks department, started in negative territory and turned it around.  That is because women’s attraction mechanisms are not the same as men’s.  To phrase it as an analogy:

As T&A is to men, personality is to women.

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Feminists And Game

A commenter by the name of dizzy (judging by the spittle she sounds like a maladjusted feminist battleaxe with a neurotic fear of masculine desire) attempted to downplay the effectiveness of game in response to this post.

The guys who wrote the “game” books capitalized on an early information disparity. But the market has adjusted. Now it’s pretty common knowledge among women that the guy who’s being all charming and cocky and maybe using a few “neg hits,” learned it all from a book. (Actually, the “neg hits” are the real tell). And we’re not… what you’d call… impressed.

She is woefully behind the times.  Neg Hits are a tiny part of the player’s arsenal and, in fact, have been supplanted by much more advanced tactics.  What’s important is the attitude behind the Neg Hit, not the specific words used.  The seduction material and techniques available to the average guy now are so vast not even a bitter cunt on the lookout for game would detect when it was being used on her.

What’s more, even girls who KNOW game is being run on them STILL FALL FOR IT!  I’ve had girls say to me “Some guy read my palm yesterday!  But I still want you to read mine.”  That is the Achille’s Heel in all women — they cannot control their attraction impulses anymore than men can, so when men say and do certain things designed to light up the sex centers of her brain she will respond to them positively.

Given this, the guys who are still buying the books will end up taking home: 1) The girl who is too dumb to know to protect herself (usually, funny enough, because she’s husband-hunting and all her friends gave her a copy of that “He’s Just Not That Into You,” book, so she thinks she’s got you on the hook).

Any man who runs this stuff in the field will tell you it’s often the more intelligent women who lap up the sexy vibes created by a skilled player.  Smart, educated girls LOVE the back and forth of shit testing and teasing.  More importantly, they love to BE LED because they are exactly the kind of women who lead others around all day at their soul-sucking corporate gigs.  They YEARN to feel FEMININE again because they get so little chance during their humdrum lives to feel that way, and a player who understands the basic polarity of men and women can offer her that experience. 

2) The girl who is just dumb.

Wishful thinking.  In reality, game is LEAST effective on the really dumb girls.  For them, it’s best to go caveman.  Stupid girls respond better to ham-fisted come-ons.

3) The girl who knows what you’re up to and subscribes to the school of “use him right back.”

Another numbnut who thinks women can be like men.  Revenge fantasies to the contrary notwithstanding, women are not wired to enjoy the pursuit of pumping and dumping men.  The way a woman “uses” a man is to string him along in LJBF land with the faintest promise of sex while never actually delivering the goods.  But then, a guy who runs game and has ascended the ranks in the Order of the Player knows enough to avoid falling into that trap.

4) The girl who knows what you’re up to and hates herself enough to try to convince you to stay, just stay, with her, for the night…

Riiight.  Because, you know, every other girl I’ve slept with hated herself.  That’s the ticket!  I have a better theory.  Maybe they all fall for a guy with game because… Satan made them do it.  Has about as much evidence.

The truth is that there are very few girls who hate themselves.  They may be insecure about this or that physical flaw, but in the big picture their egos are impenetrable fortresses of self-regard.  They clearly outstrip men in the ego stakes.  Anyhow, sluts who sleep around for validation don’t require game to close.  Simply acting like an asshole with them will work.

So either you “win” against someone who’s not playing, someone who is, um, handicapped (all due respect to the disabled) in the dating competition, someone who is making a fool of you, or someone who is crazy.

Third prize: you’re fired!
You may wanna re-check your assumptions, Sparky.

Good job. You’re the man.

Soon you will call me master.

Now go back to gaining money and power in order to get laid, as god intended, and I’ll get back to the kitchen and start making your sam-mich.

There is no god.
Money is not necessary to get laid.
And you can’t make a sammich without my lunchmeat.

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Body Language

This is where the majority of guys stumble during the pickup.  The first impression is made within seconds, on the walk over to the girl, before one word is spoken.  The way a guy carries himself, moves his body, his hands and arms, positions his feet, stands, maintains eye contact, and interacts non-verbally with girls is half his game.  You can spit the words of Voltaire, but if your body is incongruent with what you’re saying, you will get blown out.

Some of the common beta body language mistakes I see guys making:

• Walking over to the girl too quickly

When a guy sees a cute chick he gets excited.  His adrenaline pumps and his heart races as he thinks about how best to approach her.  This inner turmoil reveals itself in his physical composure.  He marches toward her too fast, propelled by his unspoken insecurity to get the job over with as soon as possible.  Fast walkers are unattractive.  Focus on your walking speed.  Stroll over like a pimp taking his time to admire the other girls in the room along the way.

• Doing everything too fast

Related to the above, guys tend to gesticulate too rapidly when they get nervous, reflexively jerking around their hands, arms, and head.  Be aware of this and deliberately slow down all your movements.  Take an extra two seconds to reach for a beer.  Move around her in languid, measured rhythms.  When she is speaking, slowly cock your head to the side.  The key thing is to avoid any sudden movements.  That betrays anxiety.  It helps to imagine your life is a movie in slo-mo.

• Being too stiff

The opposite of the above is when a guy stiffens up from nerves.  Don’t be a totem pole.  Move your arms around, swivel your body, make hand gestures while telling a story.  Watch Marlon Brando in The Godfather.  Just do it all slowly.

• Closed body language

Guys who are confident that nothing in life can touch them have very open and smooth body language.  Nervous guys who are always afraid of fights, of being sucker punched, of conflict, will defensively scrunch up their body as if they were psychologically warding off blows.  Guys who fear nothing open their arms, expose their chests, and generally project the look of someone who never worries about being caught off-guard.  In that vein, avoid shoving your hands in your pockets, crossing your arms, standing with a narrow stance, looking around the room with darting eyes, slouching, or grabbing one forearm with your hand.

• Holding drinks too high

Very common.  Don’t do it.  Look at old James Bond films.  Sean Connery holds his tumbler down by his waist, not up by his nipples.

• Adjusting himself

Any primping should be done at home before going out.  Don’t tug at your cuffs, flatten your hair, pick at your fingernails, swipe at your nose, rub your eyes, brush off imaginary lint, or hoist your pants.  A relaxed alpha male does not primp in the field.

• Leaning in (pecking)

Another common mistake.  Nearly every guy does this when starting out.  It’s called pecking because the motion of jerking your head and body forward to listen with rapt attention to what a girl is saying looks like a chicken pecking at seed.  She is not so important that you need to lean in to catch every precious word.  Lean back with your whole body and let her lean into you.  If she has something to say she’ll move in so you can hear it.  The act of bending to your will fires up her loins.  The one exception is in very noisy venues where you have to lean in if she is a soft talker.  It’s OK to do this as long as you lean in SLOWLY and lean back during pauses.

• Weak eye contact

Hold it slightly longer than you feel comfortable doing.  Dominating another guy with steady eye contact can lead to a fight.  Dominating a girl with eye contact can lead to sex.  Remember, girls WANT to feel dominated.  It turns them on.  And making sure she breaks eye contact first is a great way to demonstrate dominance.

• High pitched, incessant fast talking

A guy who is seeking approval will talk fast, hoping to finish his point before people become bored with what he’s saying.  His tone of voice will rise as sentences are completed.  A guy who is confident that everyone will listen intently to his brilliance will talk slowly in a low or neutral pitch and pause frequently.  Pausing is an extremely powerful method of subcommunicating dominance.  Think about a really effective professor or manager.  They begin speaking… PAUSE to build anticipation… make their point… PAUSE to let it sink in… conclude… PAUSE again… for effect.  The words don’t matter as much as how you say them.

• Beta body positioning

After the approach, guys usually remain standing at the point they first entered the group to introduce themselves.  This spot is often on the outside of the social circle, back to the crowd, looking in at his target.  That is a weak position.  You want to move to the power position as quickly as possible.  The power position is center of the group, back to the wall or the bar, facing the room as if you were a king surveying your kingdom and your subjects were gathered round to entertain you.  A trick for maneuvering to the power position is to take a girl’s hand, lift it up so she reacts by doing a spin move, and spinning her away from the bar.  You then steal her spot or chair.  You can even call attention to your bold move:  “Oh man, I just stole your seat!”

• Poor stance

If you are standing, keep your feet apart close to the width of your shoulders.  An alpha monopolizes space.  One foot should point forward and the other should point outward about 45 degrees.  Thrust your pelvis out slightly.

• Poor sitting

If you are sitting, don’t cross your legs.  You’re not an old man.  Spread them out as if you were naked and you wanted the whole world to behold your breathtaking package.

• Showing his palms too frequently

This non-verbal faux pas is a little arcane, but subconsciously girls notice it.  Turning your hands up is a sign of submission.  In the beginning, when you are building attraction by demonstrating your alphaness you should keep your palms down or turned inward.  Emphasize points by raising and lowering your hand, palm down.  If you look at video clips of presidential candidates on the stump you will see that the force of their speaking is intensified by strong hand movements.  Bill Clinton often addressed the crowd with his palm in, fingers curled into a fist, and thumb pointing out like a gun.  Later, during the comfort stage of the pickup after she is attracted, you can show your palm to display vulnerability.

• Forgetting to touch the girl

This one is huge.  Probably the number one alpha trait is comfort with touching other people.  A guy totally gives away his betatude if he is uncomfortable touching girls.  Touching should start immediately, literally within two seconds of the approach.  During your introduction, lightly touch your target and the potential cockblock on the elbows simutaneously.  Start inoffensively, like on the forearms or shoulders, then gradually move to touching more erogenous zones, like the upper back, upper arm, or thigh.  Avoid accidentally touching the bra strap, the hair, or the face too soon, as these spots will fire off an instant recoil reaction in a girl who isn’t yet attracted to you.  When you talk in her ear take advantage of the moment to graze her cheek with yours.  The small of the lower back is a highly charged zone, so move your hand down her back as the pickup progresses.  Wrap your arms around her waist when you want to move her to another location in the bar.  Anytime you say something funny, anchor it with your touch.  When I have a good pickup my hands RARELY break contact with my target.

• Not smiling or smiling at the wrong times

Yep, pretty basic.  Always smile on the approach.  Just don’t overdo it.  Drop the smile after your introduction.  Smiling and laughing works best in measured doses.  NEVER laugh at your own jokes.  Don’t laugh everytime she says something funny.  Your attitude should be “Oh she said something adorable again.  How cute!”, not “HA HA this girl is the funniest!  She is SO cool!  She is the best!”  Alternating your smiling with smirking, frowning, and a straight face is the winning formula.

• Animated facial gesturing

In the early stages of the pickup when you are bringing higher energy than your target in order to get attraction it’s acceptable to accentuate your stories with facial gestures.  Later on, though, you want to avoid these histrionics.  Constantly raising your eyebrows, nodding your head, widening your eyes, smiling broadly, or twisting your mouth into funny shapes indicates an approval seeking mentality.  You are not an approval seeker, you are an approval giver.

• Moving out of the way to accommodate others

Hold your ground.  When a guy needs to pass by, make him move around you.  You don’t want to be that guy who’s always stepping out of the way to avoid getting jostled by the crowd.  When a girl reaches for her drink, make her go over or around you.

• Facing the girl directly

Don’t face your target directly until after she has qualified herself to you.  She does not deserve your full attention when you first meet her.  Keep your body angled slightly away from her.  Later, when she has earned your interest, turn to face her completely.  This is the signal to move into rapport.  Note:  If you are running direct game you will face her right away.

Go forth, and lubricate vaginas with the power of your presence.

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Don’t Stop Thinking About The Next Girl

A big mistake guys make when they start dating a girl they really like — the “one” — is neglecting to continue going out and getting fresh leads.  I used to do this, so I know the mental processes that go through a guy’s head when he’s really into a girl he’s dating.  He channels all his pickup energy into this one girl, figuring that if he made it as far as a first or a second date he should focus like a laser beam on her pants zipper.  He spends the long days in between seeing her analyzing his progress, picking apart the meaning behind her actions (or inactions), and daydreaming about what a relationship would be like with her.  When he goes out, he gets lazy and tells himself there is no urgency to collect new numbers since he’s already dating a quality chick and most of the other girls can’t compare anyhow.

This is a sexually lethal frame of mind to put oneself in.  When a guy completely boxes himself in like this with no options to fall back on, all it takes is a change of heart by his golden girl to crush his soul and send him spiraling into morose self-examination.  It’s like investing your whole wad in a biotech startup with huge promise only to see it crash to a sub-penny stock after the CEO is convicted of fraud.  You’d have been a lot better off diversifying your portfolio in a range of pussy sectors.

As an example, once, during the course of a month, I had four second dates in a row fizzle out on me leading to no sex.  I made a critical error by jumping from one girl to the next — dating, failing, getting a new lead, dating again, failing again, etc.  My desperation and self-doubt grew with each new girl, practically ensuring failure.

The way to beat this crippling dating handicap is to follow the “two in the kitty” rule religiously.  You should date a minimum of two girls simultaneously until you have locked in your preferred girl by having sex with her at least three times.  I have found through trial and error that a girl will bond to you after the third bang.  Before that, it’s a crapshoot and depends on the girl’s innate femininity.  Because modern girls have taken on male characteristics (especially DC girls who are more masculine than girls from less ambitious or overeducated towns) and are sluttier than past generations, the first or second bang won’t guarantee emotional attachment.  By the third bang, however, you will notice a very perceptible shift in the balance of power.  Suddenly, she will call and text you first, ask about your weekend schedule, tell you to “give me a call soon”, start doing favors for you, cuddle longer, and generally betray signs of nervousness when you make yourself physically or emotionally scarce.

That is when you will have her in the palm of your hand and can steer the relationship in the direction you want it to go.

A guy can achieve this if he adheres to these fundamental principles:

1. Other girls CAN compare.  Girls are more interchangeable than you’d think.  Don’t get sucked into “oneitis”.
2. If you date one girl exclusively and she really turns you on, you WILL give off a needy vibe at some point during the pre-sex seduction no matter how much experience you have.  The best players who have ice running through their veins and cyborgian state control get that way because they date and fuck many girls concurrently.
3. A good date means nothing.  The only thing that matters is penis in vagina, and even then a feeling of security is not assured until the penis has penetrated the vagina on at least three different occasions.  (Three times in one night does not count.)
4. You will find it easier to close the deal with your number one girl if you are banging a number two and three girl.  A man getting regular sex has an aura that girls subconsciously register in their hindbrains.  Don’t ask me how this happens, but it does.  The Aura is very powerful, like the chemical hormones secreted by ants and bees to get them to cooperate as a social structure, and will be your Valkyrie in the battle for pussy.
5. Approach the game while dating as ardently as you do when you are dating no one.  If you have a date Tuesday, go out Monday and Wednesday and get more numbers.  Even if you fail at getting numbers, just taking the initiative of meeting new girls and chatting them up will reduce the neediness you feel with your date.
6. Never, EVER, feel guilty for dating and banging many girls simultaneously.  The mating marketplace is a battlefield and the Genitalia Convention rules of engagement clearly stipulate that it’s open season for fucking around until terms of exclusivity are tendered.  This is not your mother’s dating environment.
7. A hot chick is MORE likely, not less, to continue seeing you if you tell her you are “dating around”.  A guy who knows he has options and is in fact exercising those options is extremely attractive to a girl.

Don’t give a girl the chance to pull the rug out from under you.  Have another ten rugs underneath that one and you will glide through your interactions with women like a shark through a school of mackerel.

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Christmas Eve Lone Wolf

VK recently wrote about “bunning up” (“settling down” for you old skool types) before the long cold winter drives the cuties indoors with their Netflix and Jenga slumber parties.  And it’s true — guys have a window of opportunity beween August and Thanksgiving to land a steady girl.  For reasons science hasn’t yet figured out, most breakups happen in August, usually precipitated by the women, who then go on a fall shopping spree for a new beau.  This is your opportunity to strike.  There is a crackle and sizzle in the autumn air as the girls radiate that “please just don’t fuck this up and you can have me” vibe.  The last thing they want is to be alone during the holidays.

A good rule of thumb is to bring your A game before the temps drop into the 30s.  Once the deep chill hides everyone under layers of wool and couples start appearing with their hands in each others’ pockets you’ll find your pickings slim.  But there is one glaring exception.  Perhaps the greatest pickup night of the year, yes even better than Halloween or New Years Eve, is Christmas Eve.

There won’t be many girls out on Christmas Eve but that won’t matter because the one or two you meet (and they will usually be by themselves lamenting their singlehood with a captive bartender) are out for one reason — to get swept off their feet by a guy who will take their minds off their misery.  Meet a reasonably attractive girl on Christmas Eve and if your game is minimally competent you are virtually guaranteed to close the deal that night.

The key is to not make it seem like you are two lonely souls destined to cross paths in a grungy hole in the wall.  That shit only works in the movies.  The reality is that it ruins her fantasy to meet a guy who is just as much a loser in love as she is.  So play up the angle that you have so many family obligations this holiday season you just needed a break from it all and a strong drink in a warm bar sounded perfect.  Tell her you never expected to meet anyone as cool as her out on a night like this.

Running game on a lone wolf means you can segue into rapport building quicker than normal.  A minute to spark attraction is all you’ll need.  Once her eyes are sparkling, move her over to a couch in a dark corner, ask her if she’d like to learn something about herself, and run a few psychological quizzes on her.  Then, lower your lids and your tone of voice and summon the sexual animal in you.  Christmas pheromones.

The last time I did this we left the bar at 9 since they closed early.  We bought a six pack of Michelob Light at the local Chinese take-out which is open year-round.  Since all the bars were closed and I deemed it too soon to head back to my place, we found a streetlamp and cracked open a few beers in the cold night air.  Not a single car drove by.  The city was quiet.  The context and atmosphere did half my work for me.

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Game Tip Of The Day

A random guy in the bar puking on the floor near you makes for an excellent situational opener.

“do you think he got nervous trying to approach a girl he liked?”

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