Archive for the ‘Game’ Category

Be A Secks God

Remember Alana Massey? No? Ok, remember the CH evisceration of her? Ah, yes, that does ring a bell. She’s back, but in a different way, providing ugly truth fodder that’s fun for the whole family. Her Twat feed secretly tingles for a suitor who made such an impression on her that she couldn’t help but fondly recall him and announce her fond recollection to the whole world.

Massey writes,

my fave part of this tactic is always showing up in sunglasses and a shit-eating grin like some kind of a goddamn genius.

He got your attention, Alana. And that’s more than can be said for the loser betas “lifting you up” (in SJW-speak) on Tinder.

Boring men who play by the rules are never remembered by women. “Hey, secks?” game may not be eligible for inclusion in the pantheon of great seduction techniques, but it beats “Hi, beautiful, how was your day? ;)” anti-game. (In Alana’s case, this come-on would be a lie in at least one detail.)

Don’t aspire to be an SJW-approved lapdog shell entity. Aspire to be a Hey, Secks man, a Skittles man, a Bring the Movies man, a Birthday Cat man, or a 8===D man. In every generation, women get the men they put out for.


A commenter thinks Massey is the one texting the “Hey, secks?” line. If so, it doesn’t speak well of her SMV. I mean, if you have to request a booty call intervention from a man, you probably don’t have much to offer beyond a few minutes of your discount bin jizz receptacle.

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Have you ever thought about the seductive magic contained in the element of preemptive friendzoning? A strategic disqualification of a girl has the potential to spark an instantaneous attraction for you.

Friendzoning is almost entirely the province and prerogative of prime nubility women subconsciously (or knowingly) abiding their alpha fux, beta hugs Darwinian Directive. Only the top 10% of men — the hard alphas — enjoy the same friendzone admin privileges as do women, and mostly these men friendzone out of necessity rather than personal gain, as is usually the wont of women. An alpha male with ten women knocking at his door might just find it more convenient and less heartless to curtly coochtease the HB7s so he can concentrate on juggling the HB8s and 9s.

There’s a lesson there. we’re all ears

The top SMV echelon of men exhibit aspects of courtship behavior that are nearly indistinguishable from the courtship behavior of women. Acting aloof and sending ambiguous signals of intent? Yep, women and alpha males do that. Playing coy (with sex or with commitment)? Yep, alpha male = woman. Friendzoning suitors? Again, alpha male is the mimic of woman.

The lesson is this: You want to behave in the ways of an alpha male for increased attractiveness to intrinsically narcissistic women. The rarity of the Alpha Male Experience (indie band name CH-trademarked) can be used as a guidepost to the secret society of sex-loving babes.

Hence, the preemptive friendzone. Here’s an example. Let’s establish you’ve opened a line of love communication with a girl of sufficient beauty to make the game fun. Chit chat text yap follows. You wait for an opportune pause in the resonating vibe, or a strike of awkwardness, to execute your move. If you’re experienced, you’ll be able to sense when your ship of sate teeters on the brink between sexual promise and platonic defeat. Your flirtation credit has maxed out.

Just at that moment, when she’s most expecting your announcement of phallic intention, you send this kitty diddy:

Yeeow, the presupposed princess just turned into a humbled housemaid. Guess who’s chasing whom now? Who, whom, indeed.

Now, you don’t deliberate the nature of the wound you’ve inflicted. This is the tricky part, because a wrong move here can mean a self-fulfilling friendzone. You don’t want her taking you at your word.

She’ll reply, you ignore her. It doesn’t matter what she wrote or said; in romance, substance is nothing. An hour, three hours, maybe three days later, you ask her out for a drink(s). You continue your policy of opaque silence on the subject of your friendzone request. If she asks, feign ignorance and assume the sale at the same time… “you remember what i texted last week?”… or stick with the cheeky ruse… “yep, we’re gonna swap recipes.”

Once in her company, you will proceed seducing her as if she is anything but a friend to you. Again, if she balks, you perfunctorily agree “yup, the best of buddies” as your hand travels the expanse of her competing erogenous zones, zones which are, truth be told, much more exciting to navigate.

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Beta males regularly commit three mortal sins that banish them to the Hell of Incel. They are listed here. Why are the Big Three Beta Male Sins against love of a mortal nature?

One, the sin involves a grave matter (failure to succeed at the Prime Darwinian Directive).

Two, the sin is often done with full knowledge of the uselessness of the act. Pubertal beta males can be forgiven for their ignorance of female nature, but older beta males have no excuse.

Three, the sin is done with the full consent of the will. Few beta males have ever been coerced or otherwise extorted to behave in ways that kill their chances with girls. He turns off girls all on his own.

Beta Male Mortal Sin #1


When beta males are tested by women, their instinct is to crouch into a defensive ball like a cornered kitten, minus the claws and fangs. Defensiveness is the beta male go-to strategy, and it fails spectacularly every single time.

For instance, if a beta male is caught eyeballing another woman, his girl buddy might chastise him with a sneering “You think she’s cute,” in response to which the beta male is likely to apologetically self-renounce something along the lines of “I wasn’t looking at her,” or “Nah, she’s not my type.”

This, naturally, ruins the nascent flirtatious vibe that the girl buddy (and formerly potential girlfriend) was trying to stoke. She will typically respond to her Pyrrhic female victory over the submissive beta male by mentally shoving him deeper into the LJBF confinement zone.

The alpha male, by way of contrast, would reply “Yeah, she’s cute,” and leave it at that. A torrent of vagina tingles are sure to flow.

Beta Male Mortal Sin #2


Straining, or what is colloquially known as try-hardery and more substantively as approval-seeking behavior, is the second romance killer bug in the beta male character code. The straining beta male is the guy whose joke to impress a girl falls flat, who then tries to compensate by emphasizing the point of the joke to a crowd growing increasingly uncomfortable with his inability to ride the wave of his social miscue to a safe landing.

The straining of the beta male is evident in any number of ways: Multiple, lengthy texts to a girl replying once to him with a one-word quip; professing his love to a girl three weeks into a dating cycle; profusely apologizing for slights imagined in his head or concocted in the head of a sadistic woman; m’ladyism run amok; quoting Shakespeare in hopes of arousing a woman he considers his intellectual peer; buying a fresh round of drinks each time he enjoys the warming breeze of a batted, manipulative eyelash; bragging in the most transparently self-serving manner about his accomplishments as an office drone; and, most humorously, sometimes literally chasing after a girl leaving da club, whom he talked with for ten seconds.

Straining is a close cousin of bitterness, which women recoil from at emotional distances that are the square of the distance of the beta male’s pointless crotch to the woman’s turtling labial folds.

Beta Male Mortal Sin #3


Hoverhand. An air kiss at the end of a tepid date. A dainty touch on a girl’s shirt sleeve before quickly withdrawing for fear of offense. A hug entered at a bad angle, bodies clashing discordantly. A sweet nothing whispered five feet from a girl’s ear. Body stiffness. Jerky head movements. Darting eyes. Deeply pocketed hands. Shuffling feet. Excessive nodding in approval that is mistaken for true bonding. Relentless smiling. Overeager laughing at a girl’s typically horrid stab at humor.

You’ve seen it in action, (maybe you’ve been prone to the same), the physical awkwardness of beta males is palpable, and palpably desiccating to all vaginas within a ten-mile field of view.

Physical awkwardness is even worse than social awkwardness, for a social misstep can be ignored, retrofitted into a social triumph, or quietly forgotten with the passing of an hour’s worth of masterful romantic interlude. But evidence of a physical discomfort with the boundaries of a woman’s body and heart is an unrecoverable betrayal of anhedonic beta maleness and inexperience bedding, as Amy Schumer, feminist blowhard, might say, “fuckable” girls.

You can get away with a lot of socially obtuse miscues if your body language speaks of the pompetous of love.


Almost all beta males share these three mortal vibe-killer sins. One of these sins could deep-six a beta’s chances with a girl; often, a beta male will commit all three sins in the course of a single evening in mixed company.

If you are a beta male who knows he must make penance for his sins against the one holy, catholic, and apostolic Church of Poon, then I have good news for you. Simply ridding yourself of the stain of the Three Beta Male Mortal Sins —

Physical Awkwardness

— will pay outsized dividends towards the balance sheet of your love life. Any further spiritual development after that soul cleansing will be gash gravy on an already promising poon vocation.

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Think girls don’t know about their complicity in creating safe friendzones for beta male orbiters to asexually occupy?

“Bring the movies”, this guy is not. Even his winky emoticon looks beta, like it’s not sure if the wink is too forward and might anger her.

As far as slap-downs of uppity beta males go, this one is hardcore. Combination shit test and pure sadism, an unbiased observer would have a cold heart if he didn’t feel any pity for the hapless beta. And, to be fair, not many men of whatever SMV ranking would be able to agilely parry that uppercunt and come out on top. But we here at CH mold men who are capable of taking on the hardest of ballbusters and turning those hissing broads into purring kittens.

With that in mind, Reader Ronin throws down the gauntlet,

[W]rite in with your best Captain SlapAHo responses to Emily that this guy could give if he weren’t a beta and/or in the LJBF in the first place.

Many commenters gave suggestions.

“you wish”


“we’re friends?”


I think a neg-reframe is the best way to redirect this ship:

“What was that? Your crotch bulge was distracting me”


Radio Silence.


the ascii johnson


You can’t come up with a good answer to this that’s also congruent with his chat until then. He should have teased her about not using makeup instead of kissing her ass and I’d stay away from asking girls how their day has been. Generally, they will volunteer information if they want to talk about it. Asking people the question he did just shows he doesn’t know what to say or it’s what I make of it.

‘what’s a friend zone? does it have a roller coaster?’


A CH similar favorite (perhaps not best suited to this occasion) is:

“You flatter yourself.” (Or “don’t flatter yourself” if you’re dealing with a real temptress requiring a sharper edge.)

All of the suggestions are serviceable, only a couple are particularly good. You can’t go wrong with a “8===>~~~”, or a Birthday Cat. The best suggestion is the neg-reframe, (or as it’s more commonly known, “agree&amplify”). You stand accused of desiring a sup of sweet slit, so why not try refreshing honesty and take her at her word? “Yeah, I’m jizzing in my pants right now thinking about your winning personality.” It’s better than the apologetic alternative, and you have given yourself a chance to turn a female friend into a lover.

Stay away from feigning ignorance about the friendzone (or about your friendship). No chick is gonna buy that act, and you’ll come across try-hard and butthurt. This set-up is difficult for newbs because it’s a real honey trap for betas who are prone to wearing their hurt feelings on their sleeves. That’s why it’s in a post; if you know how to handle the really tough stuff, you’ll glide through the easy pickups.

Yes, this guy started off on the wrong foot. He was two strikes down after he asked her how her day was going (lame) and called her beautiful (lamer). Just about anything he said after that to save face would have seemed incongruent. Given that reality, he may as well try a 180 in his conversational technique and summon his inner jerkboy begging to be released to the wilds. She will balk, naturally, but after a cooling-off period (say, a week), she’d be back, and that’s when he’d finally have a crack at steering their relationship to moister grounds.

What does an inner jerkboy do? He ASSUMES THE SALE.

“Walk me back?”

“Back to that friend zone you just tried to escape from :)”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you.”

Ultimately it comes down to a choice: Do you want to risk losing a female buddy for a shot at fulfilling your deepest desire with her, or do you want to carry on as a eunuch in her entourage satisfied with the faintest eddies of pleasure that ripple your way when she hangs out with you, always a torturous five feet from your insolent erection?

If the former, then dial up your jerkboy to 11, and tempt a fate that, either way, will be a blessing for you.

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If the data and personal observation are accurate and America is filling up with sociopaths and psychopaths, then the best advice a person could get is how to spot psychopaths and either avoid them or defend oneself against their charming predations.

As a recipient of the wicked love of one or two suprasexy sociopath chicks, I can tell you that unless your state control is rock-ribbed and your sexual market options plentiful, you’ll get shredded to ribbons under the stiletto shiv of a femme fatale.

And having had the distinct displeasure to work and socialize alongside one or two male psychopaths, the danger to your well-being is a hundredfold worse.

You could say, “It takes one to know one, right CH?” Eh, maybe. Or maybe my keenness is a gift from the forces of Light, and the wisdom gathered from my experiences meant for bestowal upon the benighted as part of a pay it forward karmic redemption. Yeah, I’ll go with that.

Good news for people with functioning empathy centers of the brain: Psychopaths (and their lesser cousins, sociopaths) have tells, just like sluts have tells. If spaths (socio- + psychopath) unintentionally announce their evil disorder before they get their hooks in you, avoidance is possible.

Here’s a “psychopathy checklist” of twenty traits that are common in psychopaths. The biggest spath tells are lying, charm, and self-entitlement.

In essence, psychopathic predators can come across as socially adept, likable – at least at first – and the life of the party. Even after getting to know them, normal people often have the sense that something is wrong, but they don’t know what, because they aren’t use to thinking in terms of predatory behavior that will never change. Psychopaths, 99% of the time, are not reformable, and normal people who get in their way often spend considerable effort and energy into reforming them, which makes the normal person all the more vulnerable. […]

Glibly charming people who lie pathologically or who have been caught stealing should be like a flashing red warning light.

Perusing that psychopath trait list, I can’t help but notice at least a few of those traits are distinctive of successful, and psychologically healthy, womanizers who simply love the romantic company of (a variety) women. There’s a fair amount of overlap between psychopathy and tight Game. For instance:

glib and superficial charm
grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
need for stimulation

As any good player knows, chicks dig overconfident, charming men with exciting lives.

cunning and manipulativeness

Players can be manipulative, but so can women in their own ways. It’s fair to say a little bit of manipulation is normal and healthy in seduction. Legit psychopaths take that talent for manipulation to levels that would dismay even lifelong womanizers.

A spath red flag I’ve encountered is when a person (usually a man) puts his hand on your shoulder anytime he punctuates a joke he told or an opinion he delivered unsolicited. This is a domination move that forces a fast-tracked intimacy, a classic psycho charm+power offensive. If anyone pulls this on you, physically remove their hand while keeping eye contact. They won’t do it again.

Another red flag that will help you distinguish spaths from regular guy charmers: A charming, normal man will piecemeal his charm during a conversation, delivering doses of his charisma at opportune moments. A spath will come right at you with both charm guns a-blazing, even before he’s shaken your hand and gotten to know your name. The quick draw spath is employing one of his domination moves, attempting to lead and monopolize the sympathies of the social group. If you suspect you’ve got one of these psychos in your mixed company, (and you recognize the threat that he’ll captivate the women in your group), the best defense is a good offense. Treat the spath like an AMOG and tease him for his try-hard efforts to win everyone over.

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A field report from reader Sentient nicely illustrates the importance of a fundamental game concept: kino.

From a sporting event…

Lots of outside bars in tents etc. Lots of women milling about, lots of drinking. Was with a white knight buddy. great guy but white knight to the core – even though he is pretty alpha in a lot of ways.

White knights span the male SMV spectrum, from sniveling sidekick-hopeful omega to brawling bodyguard-for-hire alpha, although most of them bunch up in the back-middle of the SMV geld curve, where lesser beta males dominate.

They all share one thing in common: Toolbaggery.

So I am in a good mood, but have to keep flirtation on a low boil with him around babysitting me. some flirting with women, at one point I am laughing and joking with a 7 and I put my arm on her bare shoulder. she is laughing.. we stroll off. He later says “man you assaulted that girl”. I’m like you can’t be serious, he says, “you touched her”. I cracked up and rolled my eyes.

Later he is busy doing something, I am getting a drink. 21 YO bartender, 5’5 and maybe 105 lbs. Very slim. My type for sure. We are bantering. I see her wrist has a tattoo on it and she sees me look. she goes into “oh you saw that, it was a mistake”. I look at her and pull her skinny arm over and look at her wrist, tracing the outline of her quarter size tattoo, “what the hell is this supposed to be?” I ask her. she laughs and says a friend did it, it was a rebellious phase. I keep tracing it and laser eyeing. Then break contact. we chat – blah blah. She is in town for the event and new job she just travels from event to event with this company. So I tease her about a young girl on the road stuff. she comes from deep backwoods OH.

So I notice the vibe is growing and she keeps coming out from behind the bar and walking 15 feet or so past me to a garbage bin to do stuff like throw out a single napkin, or a single can of beer.

Women will happily inconvenience themselves for a man who intrigues them.

So I know she is doing this for my benefit, so I can look at her. I comment on her build and ask if she dances as she walks by me again. she gives me the over the shoulder look and says no but everyone asks that. So as she comes back to me i say “come here” and put my hand out. she gives me her hand and I give her the PUA spin LOL and she lights up “whoa!” and laughs and I say she moves pretty good even though she is not a dancer, while pulling her in closer. she giggles and scurries behind the bar again. Between the infrequent customers we continue to banter.

She comes over close over the bar, I have both hands spread out past shoulder width on the bar, laser eyeing. she puts her head down but lifts her eyes to mine, a very submissive and alluring posture and then motions with her eyes to my left hand… “soooooo… Is your wife here?” I laugh and say “Oh you noticed my jewelry” and say “nah she is home” and now she is more coyly saying, “well what would she say about us talking…” I say “that doesn’t concern her now does it” and move to try and set something up for later with her. It becomes clear though that she is a No Married Guys girl and I realize I am negotiating with her about meeting up later. So I cut it off, lightheartedly, say I need to go catch up with my buddy. She says well come back she has this same spot all weekend.. blah blah.

I need to get some better game on these no married guys girls… More preparation, because 50% of the time they don’t care or ask, 25% of the time it’s a straight up turn on and that 25% of the time where they are interested but won’t budge… that surprises me and I fumble…


First, your field report is a great example of the critical importance of early, boundary-crossing touch to the seduction process. Grabbing the arm of a female stranger, tracing her tattoo… these are actions almost incomprehensible to the beta male/white knight mind. If you obeyed social convention, cultural signals, and instinct, you would never touch a girl you’ve just met in this manner. And that is why you would fail.

Touching a girl throws her cognitive dissonance about courtship into stark relief. If you were to ask, most girls would assert that they would never want any man to touch them. If you were to watch them being seduced, nearly every girl would be stricken with aroused smiles as the man’s hands investigated parts of her body.

Second, your game question. If you want those 25% of girls averse to sleeping with married men, why not just remove your ring? It’s not like that additional deception atop the other deception of giving life to your extramarital licentiousness will be the one to break your moral bank.

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The Throat Clearing Opener

Reader duderino stumbles upon an excellent jerkboy opener.

I was standing behind a hot girl at the grocery store a while back. She was fit and wore tight yoga pants. She was waffling over which sugar free energy drink to buy. I’d pulled an all nighter studying, and was beginning to feel sick. I unintentionally cleared my throat in a way that made it sound like I was telling her to gtfo of my way. She started apologizing and sheepishly grinned as I grabbed whatever had the most caffeine. I was barraged with questions about which drink was best and how she wanted something to give her energy without getting fat. Throat clearing must be an underrated opener.

I was too grumpy and caught off guard to follow through. I’ve been gaining muscle lately and aren’t used to cute girls opening me. Anyone with experience talking to girls at grocery stores?

A real man demands a woman’s attention. He doesn’t wait for her attention to fall in his lap. This reader accidentally learned the value of this truth, so next time he might try a deliberate throat clearing opener to startle and arouse a cute girl turned instantly submissive to the aural attack of his jerky, guttural impudence.

Coaxer of Shy Clits: [loudly clears throat] *hmmMMMmmm*

Little Red Clitoral Hood: Oh! I’m sorry. *sheepish grin* You looking for en energy drink? Which drink is best?

Coaxer of Shy Clits: Well, Red Bull gives you flings. I mean, wings.

Whatever you do after your throat clearing opener, don’t do beta. That means don’t give in to instinct and apologize for disturbing the girl’s tranquility.

More than a few readers have offered anecdotes in which they stoked a girl’s curiosity and feminine deference as a result of unintentionally mimicking alpha male jerkboy behavior in her company. This is interesting, because the results proceeding from accidental Game speak more forcefully to the efficacy of Game than do the results from deliberate application of Game.

When we set out on self-improvement, there is a natural human tendency to affirm the benefits of that which we have invested much effort to learn and apply. But those same benefits accrued by unintentional implementation of a behavioral change — that is, accrued without conscious apprehension of the behavioral process until after the fact, when a surprised appraisal is made — is a powerful clue that the change in behavior works as predicted.

The heart of the matter is quite disturbing to dewy-eyed and trembling-lipp’d romantic idealists when you really grasp its significance:

Maxim #65: The accidental alpha trumps the intentional beta.

The shiv withdraws, glistening with viscera.

PS There are illimitable ways to hit on girls standing in front of you at the supermarket checkout. One I’ve employed is making a comment about one of her odder choices of food items on the conveyor belt. Try to structure your comment so that it’s open-ended, leading her to invest a bit in the conversation, and possibly continuing it past the store doors. For example, “I guess I’m not the only one who eats durian fruit. What makes you think you can handle that bad boy?”


Amy delightfully recalls a man who plied her limbic labials with what I consider very tight grocery check-out game.

Once I was in line checking out at a grocery store and the guy behind me surveyed what I was buying (all leafy greens and fruits bc I was on a juice cleanse), and said, remind me not to come over to your place for dinner. I laughed and said it was for juicing. So then he looks at me and says with mock seriousness “you need meat.” Bold!

Indeed. Poon Commandment XIII: Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little.

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