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Dick Pic Game

Reader W.E.K. takes a page from a gilded CH tome to harness the muff misting magic of the dick emoji.

******

An interesting anecdotal aside to the 8======D—- guy.

I have worked as a doorman/bouncer in some highly popular bars/nightclubs in my area.

One time I was working the door sitting on a stool when out comes a quite attractive brunette from inside the bar. She sits on an adjacent stool for a few moments but I really wasn’t paying much attention as I was trying to text my then gf at the time and manage her fragile/needy emotional state because she had fallen quite hard for me and at this point was freaking out whenever I went to work and thus was surrounded by lots of young attractive women. Regardless of the fact that I met her at another bar I worked at.

Anyway back to the brunette on the stool. She sees that I’m texting and paying her no mind so she says to me
“Hey want to text me?”
I paused for a moment considering the idiocy of the question.
I was in a playful mood that needed respite from my insecure gf”s annoyingness so I hand her my phone to put her number in.

When I got my phone back I texted her this.
8========D——-

I think she texted back ” what’s that ?” To which I lol’d.

True to female form her next response was
“Wanna make out?”

I paused for a few moments considering the utter hilarity of the question. Then I stood up and glided over gently holding the back of her head and pulled her in for a quick make out.

Ever the professional I kept it short and made myself get back to focusing on the job.
A few hours later and she texts me with
“Come to my hotel”

I told her I wouldn’t be off for another few hours and I forgot about it due to logistics and the fact that my gf was at my place and would stay up waiting for me.
As i’m driving home she texts me again wanting me to come over but I just ignored because I was already nearly home.
Unfortunately for me my gf went through my phone and found an unknown number added while at work (fucking sneaky bitches). The texts were of course deleted. So then I have to make up a lot of shit and manipulate some emotions to keep things copacetic.
The gf ended up calling her though and a lot of shit talking ensued. I had to really hide how entertained I was.

Moral of the story:
8======D—–

It works.

******

And why does it work on lovely ladies? It keeps ’em guessing. It smacks of male sexual entitlement. It betrays a sexy indifference to female approval. It’s fun and flirty. It’s (literally) cocky. It’s unpredictable and immature.

In other words, it’s everything beta males aren’t.

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In a normally functioning social dynamic, less attractive women (and lower status men) behave more deferentially toward their betters than do hotter women (and higher status men) toward their lessers, because the beta of each sex seeks to gain social standing by ingratiating herself or himself to pack leaders, (and because threatening the social hierarchy carries great risk).

But sometimes the behavioral properties of the pecking order get scrambled, as often happens when intersex feedback loops are introduced, and we observe contingent social phenomena occur such as when less attractive girls act bitchy when they believe beta males are making advances on them.

Reader Colonel Spartak illustrates this well, with an anecdote that reveals much about the female ego and its response to different sexual market stimuli.

[Beta males] get bitter about women because the women they hit on are much more likely to be bitches. As you have said previously, the 8s and up are hit on less regularly than the 5-7s who the lower smv value males hit on. These 5-7s are often bitchy, partially because they are suffering from the cuntishness endemic to the western womyn and partially because they are bitter themselves.

Case in point. Last weekend a DJ friend of mine took me with him to a club which was filled with 16-19 year olds. We were there for an hour, so I took off to the dance floor to make some conversation with the resident poon. The first girls I talked to were a group of straight 6s who were standing watching the dancing, and I asked them if their parents knew they were out. The one girl replied to me ‘how old are you, 47?’ and not in a playful way, in full on viper mode (I’m a youthful 37), so I told her I was 72 and my old age home had given me a free coupon to the club. I left them and 10 mins later approached two solid 9s at the bar and said exactly the same thing. I struck up a conversation with one of them, who was really friendly and kept asking me how old I was. I wouldn’t tell her and eventually she guessed I was 28.

That’s not the first time I have experienced savage put downs by unattractive women both irl and on Tinder. Some lower smv women prop up their self esteem by being bitches to men who approach them because in some way it must allow them to feel like they are emulating the behaviour of women with higher smv and like they have choices (ultimately they don’t). Higher SMV women have less to prove to themselves and others.

That last paragraph gets to the heart of the matter. Quite often, LSMV girls will act bitchy toward men, even high value men, because this is their only chance to feel, for a very short moment in the sun, the thrill of being an in-demand hot babe with the consequence-free privilege of rejecting suitors left and right. The LSMV girl is, through the egoistic palliative of her phony bitchiness, playing the role of the beautiful girl with tons of options and the self-entitled, my-shit-don’t-stink attitude that goes with all those options.

Of course, the put-on is self-defeating. An LSMV girl bitching out an alpha man leaves him no worse for the wear, especially when higher quality poon is a few feet away and willing to treat him nicer. Beta males don’t lose much, either, for they have avoided entanglement with a cranky bitch who will never stop resenting any beta she settles with into aromantic despair. The real risk to beta males is the growing bitterness that will gradually erode their self-confidence and strip from them any latent natural charms they could develop, for few betas can endure without ill-effect a constant stream of bitchiness from sub-par girls with bruised egos.

The biggest losers are the middling girls who engage in this sort of temporary, impulsive ego gratification at the expense of beta males too nice and generous to know when they are being played for a cunt’s ego prop. These bitterbitches will spend their fleeting prime nubility years in loveless pump and dump scenarios, in the last alone and wondering where it all went wrong, or having to settle far lower down the male desirability scale than they would have if they had ditched the bitch act and got serious about cultivating that sweet, feminine woman inside before youth abandoned them.

Emulation of alpha behaviors really only works for men; ugly girls can emulate the behaviors of cute girls till the cows come home, but because their raw appearance is the alpha and the omega of their desirability to men (at least at the first few meets), such alpha female emulation by fugs will land with a thud at the retreating feet of men rightly casting them off as that most loathsome of creatures: the screwed-up bitch who’s outer ugliness amplifies her inner ugliness.

For men who want more choice in women, and value the crimson pill knowledge that will help them deal with the phony puffery of plain janes icing their player vibe, the first thing to know is never to take an NB4’s bitch facade personally. You aren’t the only man upon whom she’s unloaded her species’ peculiar psychological issues, and you won’t be the last. Water off a duck’s back.

Understanding will increase your confidence as well. Accepting women for what they are, you’ll come to appreciate those times when you’re the target of a homely woman’s nastitude as evidence that you’re far above her lay grade. It’s like a shit test; when you get one, you know the girl is grappling with a bean-budding arousal for you.

Second, know too that a bitchy mediocrity can be leveraged into romance with a pleasant hottie. If the bitchy NB is part of a larger group, calling her out with wit can intrigue the better girls in her company. “I’m sorry, you must have me mistaken for a man who broke your heart.”

Even a mediocre bitch can be turned, if for some strange reason you relished the challenge of notching a night of mediocre sex. Playfully evading her taunts, reframing, and finally gently chiding her for hiding her true feelings under the mask of a tough girl really crying out on the inside for someone who “gets her”, is a (painful, laborious, four-hour) formula for seducing the nasty NB5 of every man’s fantasy.

***

Mr GS passes along the story of the battle-toad.

I was out last summer and my friends and I were flirting with whatever female passed by. Anyways, a plump (-5454085/10) girl walks by and hears our hilarity ensue with the females we are joking around with; I’m still not sure, but I think she might have known these women we were speaking to? Anyways, to be friendly I jokingly flirt with her as well to keep things moving, and without a pause she says “You are the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen” to which I fire back “Well my mother would disagree with you;” the two girls we were initially joking around with laugh and kind of look at this plump-porker in a weird “are you serious?” way.

A warpig of this calibur is not going to get me down with her comment, but in this scenario, where two good-looking men (I’d say my friend and I fall into the 8-9 category looks wise), it seemed out of place. The warpig persisted, “No seriously, you guys are just fucking lame. You are just disgusting.” This battle-toad swung her axe and was trying to cut deep; “did a guy who looked like me molest you or something?” Miss Piggy’s donut-scanners widen and she stares at me in shock (I don’t care if I seduce these other females now, Miss Piggy ruined my fun). “Really???” the battle toad exhales in disgusted awe, “you shouldn’t joke about people getting molested!!” I smirk, “well I’m sorry you got molested.”

Anyways, I can continue my story, but the point is the last paragraph is spot on. I assume her two relatively good looking friends (if they even fucking knew her since they were distancing themselves from her) made her jealous that she was not a part of the fun, and she decided to reject before she could get rejected.

Preemptive rejection is a favorite tactic of the left-behinds. The battle-toad would rather swing her axe than suffer another second of invisibility.

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Be A Secks God

Remember Alana Massey? No? Ok, remember the CH evisceration of her? Ah, yes, that does ring a bell. She’s back, but in a different way, providing ugly truth fodder that’s fun for the whole family. Her Twat feed secretly tingles for a suitor who made such an impression on her that she couldn’t help but fondly recall him and announce her fond recollection to the whole world.

Massey writes,

my fave part of this tactic is always showing up in sunglasses and a shit-eating grin like some kind of a goddamn genius.

He got your attention, Alana. And that’s more than can be said for the loser betas “lifting you up” (in SJW-speak) on Tinder.

Boring men who play by the rules are never remembered by women. “Hey, secks?” game may not be eligible for inclusion in the pantheon of great seduction techniques, but it beats “Hi, beautiful, how was your day? ;)” anti-game. (In Alana’s case, this come-on would be a lie in at least one detail.)

Don’t aspire to be an SJW-approved lapdog shell entity. Aspire to be a Hey, Secks man, a Skittles man, a Bring the Movies man, a Birthday Cat man, or a 8===D man. In every generation, women get the men they put out for.

UPDATE

A commenter thinks Massey is the one texting the “Hey, secks?” line. If so, it doesn’t speak well of her SMV. I mean, if you have to request a booty call intervention from a man, you probably don’t have much to offer beyond a few minutes of your discount bin jizz receptacle.

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Have you ever thought about the seductive magic contained in the element of preemptive friendzoning? A strategic disqualification of a girl has the potential to spark an instantaneous attraction for you.

Friendzoning is almost entirely the province and prerogative of prime nubility women subconsciously (or knowingly) abiding their alpha fux, beta hugs Darwinian Directive. Only the top 10% of men — the hard alphas — enjoy the same friendzone admin privileges as do women, and mostly these men friendzone out of necessity rather than personal gain, as is usually the wont of women. An alpha male with ten women knocking at his door might just find it more convenient and less heartless to curtly coochtease the HB7s so he can concentrate on juggling the HB8s and 9s.

There’s a lesson there. we’re all ears

The top SMV echelon of men exhibit aspects of courtship behavior that are nearly indistinguishable from the courtship behavior of women. Acting aloof and sending ambiguous signals of intent? Yep, women and alpha males do that. Playing coy (with sex or with commitment)? Yep, alpha male = woman. Friendzoning suitors? Again, alpha male is the mimic of woman.

The lesson is this: You want to behave in the ways of an alpha male for increased attractiveness to intrinsically narcissistic women. The rarity of the Alpha Male Experience (indie band name CH-trademarked) can be used as a guidepost to the secret society of sex-loving babes.

Hence, the preemptive friendzone. Here’s an example. Let’s establish you’ve opened a line of love communication with a girl of sufficient beauty to make the game fun. Chit chat text yap follows. You wait for an opportune pause in the resonating vibe, or a strike of awkwardness, to execute your move. If you’re experienced, you’ll be able to sense when your ship of sate teeters on the brink between sexual promise and platonic defeat. Your flirtation credit has maxed out.

Just at that moment, when she’s most expecting your announcement of phallic intention, you send this kitty diddy:

Yeeow, the presupposed princess just turned into a humbled housemaid. Guess who’s chasing whom now? Who, whom, indeed.

Now, you don’t deliberate the nature of the wound you’ve inflicted. This is the tricky part, because a wrong move here can mean a self-fulfilling friendzone. You don’t want her taking you at your word.

She’ll reply, you ignore her. It doesn’t matter what she wrote or said; in romance, substance is nothing. An hour, three hours, maybe three days later, you ask her out for a drink(s). You continue your policy of opaque silence on the subject of your friendzone request. If she asks, feign ignorance and assume the sale at the same time… “you remember what i texted last week?”… or stick with the cheeky ruse… “yep, we’re gonna swap recipes.”

Once in her company, you will proceed seducing her as if she is anything but a friend to you. Again, if she balks, you perfunctorily agree “yup, the best of buddies” as your hand travels the expanse of her competing erogenous zones, zones which are, truth be told, much more exciting to navigate.

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Beta males regularly commit three mortal sins that banish them to the Hell of Incel. They are listed here. Why are the Big Three Beta Male Sins against love of a mortal nature?

One, the sin involves a grave matter (failure to succeed at the Prime Darwinian Directive).

Two, the sin is often done with full knowledge of the uselessness of the act. Pubertal beta males can be forgiven for their ignorance of female nature, but older beta males have no excuse.

Three, the sin is done with the full consent of the will. Few beta males have ever been coerced or otherwise extorted to behave in ways that kill their chances with girls. He turns off girls all on his own.

Beta Male Mortal Sin #1

DEFENSIVENESS

When beta males are tested by women, their instinct is to crouch into a defensive ball like a cornered kitten, minus the claws and fangs. Defensiveness is the beta male go-to strategy, and it fails spectacularly every single time.

For instance, if a beta male is caught eyeballing another woman, his girl buddy might chastise him with a sneering “You think she’s cute,” in response to which the beta male is likely to apologetically self-renounce something along the lines of “I wasn’t looking at her,” or “Nah, she’s not my type.”

This, naturally, ruins the nascent flirtatious vibe that the girl buddy (and formerly potential girlfriend) was trying to stoke. She will typically respond to her Pyrrhic female victory over the submissive beta male by mentally shoving him deeper into the LJBF confinement zone.

The alpha male, by way of contrast, would reply “Yeah, she’s cute,” and leave it at that. A torrent of vagina tingles are sure to flow.

Beta Male Mortal Sin #2

STRAINING

Straining, or what is colloquially known as try-hardery and more substantively as approval-seeking behavior, is the second romance killer bug in the beta male character code. The straining beta male is the guy whose joke to impress a girl falls flat, who then tries to compensate by emphasizing the point of the joke to a crowd growing increasingly uncomfortable with his inability to ride the wave of his social miscue to a safe landing.

The straining of the beta male is evident in any number of ways: Multiple, lengthy texts to a girl replying once to him with a one-word quip; professing his love to a girl three weeks into a dating cycle; profusely apologizing for slights imagined in his head or concocted in the head of a sadistic woman; m’ladyism run amok; quoting Shakespeare in hopes of arousing a woman he considers his intellectual peer; buying a fresh round of drinks each time he enjoys the warming breeze of a batted, manipulative eyelash; bragging in the most transparently self-serving manner about his accomplishments as an office drone; and, most humorously, sometimes literally chasing after a girl leaving da club, whom he talked with for ten seconds.

Straining is a close cousin of bitterness, which women recoil from at emotional distances that are the square of the distance of the beta male’s pointless crotch to the woman’s turtling labial folds.

Beta Male Mortal Sin #3

PHYSICAL AWKWARDNESS

Hoverhand. An air kiss at the end of a tepid date. A dainty touch on a girl’s shirt sleeve before quickly withdrawing for fear of offense. A hug entered at a bad angle, bodies clashing discordantly. A sweet nothing whispered five feet from a girl’s ear. Body stiffness. Jerky head movements. Darting eyes. Deeply pocketed hands. Shuffling feet. Excessive nodding in approval that is mistaken for true bonding. Relentless smiling. Overeager laughing at a girl’s typically horrid stab at humor.

You’ve seen it in action, (maybe you’ve been prone to the same), the physical awkwardness of beta males is palpable, and palpably desiccating to all vaginas within a ten-mile field of view.

Physical awkwardness is even worse than social awkwardness, for a social misstep can be ignored, retrofitted into a social triumph, or quietly forgotten with the passing of an hour’s worth of masterful romantic interlude. But evidence of a physical discomfort with the boundaries of a woman’s body and heart is an unrecoverable betrayal of anhedonic beta maleness and inexperience bedding, as Amy Schumer, feminist blowhard, might say, “fuckable” girls.

You can get away with a lot of socially obtuse miscues if your body language speaks of the pompetous of love.

***

Almost all beta males share these three mortal vibe-killer sins. One of these sins could deep-six a beta’s chances with a girl; often, a beta male will commit all three sins in the course of a single evening in mixed company.

If you are a beta male who knows he must make penance for his sins against the one holy, catholic, and apostolic Church of Poon, then I have good news for you. Simply ridding yourself of the stain of the Three Beta Male Mortal Sins —

Defensiveness
Straining
Physical Awkwardness

— will pay outsized dividends towards the balance sheet of your love life. Any further spiritual development after that soul cleansing will be gash gravy on an already promising poon vocation.

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Think girls don’t know about their complicity in creating safe friendzones for beta male orbiters to asexually occupy?

“Bring the movies”, this guy is not. Even his winky emoticon looks beta, like it’s not sure if the wink is too forward and might anger her.

As far as slap-downs of uppity beta males go, this one is hardcore. Combination shit test and pure sadism, an unbiased observer would have a cold heart if he didn’t feel any pity for the hapless beta. And, to be fair, not many men of whatever SMV ranking would be able to agilely parry that uppercunt and come out on top. But we here at CH mold men who are capable of taking on the hardest of ballbusters and turning those hissing broads into purring kittens.

With that in mind, Reader Ronin throws down the gauntlet,

[W]rite in with your best Captain SlapAHo responses to Emily that this guy could give if he weren’t a beta and/or in the LJBF in the first place.

Many commenters gave suggestions.

“you wish”

***

“we’re friends?”

***

I think a neg-reframe is the best way to redirect this ship:

“What was that? Your crotch bulge was distracting me”

***

Radio Silence.

***

the ascii johnson

***

You can’t come up with a good answer to this that’s also congruent with his chat until then. He should have teased her about not using makeup instead of kissing her ass and I’d stay away from asking girls how their day has been. Generally, they will volunteer information if they want to talk about it. Asking people the question he did just shows he doesn’t know what to say or it’s what I make of it.

‘what’s a friend zone? does it have a roller coaster?’

******

A CH similar favorite (perhaps not best suited to this occasion) is:

“You flatter yourself.” (Or “don’t flatter yourself” if you’re dealing with a real temptress requiring a sharper edge.)

All of the suggestions are serviceable, only a couple are particularly good. You can’t go wrong with a “8===>~~~”, or a Birthday Cat. The best suggestion is the neg-reframe, (or as it’s more commonly known, “agree&amplify”). You stand accused of desiring a sup of sweet slit, so why not try refreshing honesty and take her at her word? “Yeah, I’m jizzing in my pants right now thinking about your winning personality.” It’s better than the apologetic alternative, and you have given yourself a chance to turn a female friend into a lover.

Stay away from feigning ignorance about the friendzone (or about your friendship). No chick is gonna buy that act, and you’ll come across try-hard and butthurt. This set-up is difficult for newbs because it’s a real honey trap for betas who are prone to wearing their hurt feelings on their sleeves. That’s why it’s in a post; if you know how to handle the really tough stuff, you’ll glide through the easy pickups.

Yes, this guy started off on the wrong foot. He was two strikes down after he asked her how her day was going (lame) and called her beautiful (lamer). Just about anything he said after that to save face would have seemed incongruent. Given that reality, he may as well try a 180 in his conversational technique and summon his inner jerkboy begging to be released to the wilds. She will balk, naturally, but after a cooling-off period (say, a week), she’d be back, and that’s when he’d finally have a crack at steering their relationship to moister grounds.

What does an inner jerkboy do? He ASSUMES THE SALE.

“Walk me back?”

“Back to that friend zone you just tried to escape from :)”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you.”

Ultimately it comes down to a choice: Do you want to risk losing a female buddy for a shot at fulfilling your deepest desire with her, or do you want to carry on as a eunuch in her entourage satisfied with the faintest eddies of pleasure that ripple your way when she hangs out with you, always a torturous five feet from your insolent erection?

If the former, then dial up your jerkboy to 11, and tempt a fate that, either way, will be a blessing for you.

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If the data and personal observation are accurate and America is filling up with sociopaths and psychopaths, then the best advice a person could get is how to spot psychopaths and either avoid them or defend oneself against their charming predations.

As a recipient of the wicked love of one or two suprasexy sociopath chicks, I can tell you that unless your state control is rock-ribbed and your sexual market options plentiful, you’ll get shredded to ribbons under the stiletto shiv of a femme fatale.

And having had the distinct displeasure to work and socialize alongside one or two male psychopaths, the danger to your well-being is a hundredfold worse.

You could say, “It takes one to know one, right CH?” Eh, maybe. Or maybe my keenness is a gift from the forces of Light, and the wisdom gathered from my experiences meant for bestowal upon the benighted as part of a pay it forward karmic redemption. Yeah, I’ll go with that.

Good news for people with functioning empathy centers of the brain: Psychopaths (and their lesser cousins, sociopaths) have tells, just like sluts have tells. If spaths (socio- + psychopath) unintentionally announce their evil disorder before they get their hooks in you, avoidance is possible.

Here’s a “psychopathy checklist” of twenty traits that are common in psychopaths. The biggest spath tells are lying, charm, and self-entitlement.

In essence, psychopathic predators can come across as socially adept, likable – at least at first – and the life of the party. Even after getting to know them, normal people often have the sense that something is wrong, but they don’t know what, because they aren’t use to thinking in terms of predatory behavior that will never change. Psychopaths, 99% of the time, are not reformable, and normal people who get in their way often spend considerable effort and energy into reforming them, which makes the normal person all the more vulnerable. […]

Glibly charming people who lie pathologically or who have been caught stealing should be like a flashing red warning light.

Perusing that psychopath trait list, I can’t help but notice at least a few of those traits are distinctive of successful, and psychologically healthy, womanizers who simply love the romantic company of (a variety) women. There’s a fair amount of overlap between psychopathy and tight Game. For instance:

glib and superficial charm
grandiose (exaggeratedly high) estimation of self
need for stimulation

As any good player knows, chicks dig overconfident, charming men with exciting lives.

cunning and manipulativeness

Players can be manipulative, but so can women in their own ways. It’s fair to say a little bit of manipulation is normal and healthy in seduction. Legit psychopaths take that talent for manipulation to levels that would dismay even lifelong womanizers.

A spath red flag I’ve encountered is when a person (usually a man) puts his hand on your shoulder anytime he punctuates a joke he told or an opinion he delivered unsolicited. This is a domination move that forces a fast-tracked intimacy, a classic psycho charm+power offensive. If anyone pulls this on you, physically remove their hand while keeping eye contact. They won’t do it again.

Another red flag that will help you distinguish spaths from regular guy charmers: A charming, normal man will piecemeal his charm during a conversation, delivering doses of his charisma at opportune moments. A spath will come right at you with both charm guns a-blazing, even before he’s shaken your hand and gotten to know your name. The quick draw spath is employing one of his domination moves, attempting to lead and monopolize the sympathies of the social group. If you suspect you’ve got one of these psychos in your mixed company, (and you recognize the threat that he’ll captivate the women in your group), the best defense is a good offense. Treat the spath like an AMOG and tease him for his try-hard efforts to win everyone over.

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