Asshole Game Week: The Relationship Reset

Asshole Game Week: Day One is here. Day Two here. Day Three here. Day Four here.

The Chateau has plenty of readers already in relationships and (lucifer help you) marriage. Many of them would like to know how to apply asshole game to the women they love and are afraid to drive into boredom because of legal ramifications.

The rules of the Game don’t change when you decide to keep a woman around for longer than a few nights. All that changes is the frequency and intensity of your tactical assault. Instead of “shock and awe”, it’s more like “surprise and delight”.

On that dulcet note, reader Sentient demonstrates by example,

A few notes on asshole game from the confines of a marriage/LTR. Now while these may not have the the same storytelling value of asking a single girl to hold your drink while fucking another girl in front of her, they do render the desired nuclear effect on a fully pampered princess bride, who has grown accustomed to her beta lackey hubby:

1. She asks you to fill her water glass with a whiney “i’m thirsty… and a wiggle of a raised glass” and you say “No thanks”.

2. She asks you to run downstairs and get her xxxx from yyyy and you say “I think you can manage that, it’s good for your glutes too”.

3. She informs you that her BFF has arranged a play date for the kids and you and her an hour away from home at some place you have zero desire to go to, and she expects you to be the driver, as always and you say “Have a good time, not interested”.

4. You make a move for sex at 10 PM on a Wednesday night, she gives you the cold shoulder and something like “we just had sex [fill in the blank] days ago”, and you say “Ok, have a good night”, kiss her on the head and leave the house “not sleepy, going out for a bit” your departing words… a furious litany of hamsterese lighting up your phone for the next hour, which you ignore.

5. and the coup de grace, when she wants to have a BIG TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP and she says “I don’t like how you have been acting the last [fill in the blank]…” and you look her square in the eye and shrug “you don’t have to”.

BOOOOM goes the dynamite. Relationship reset activated. #winning #welcomebacktestes #tingles

“Relationship Reset” is a good way of putting it. That’s precisely what you want to do. Reset your girlfriend’s or wife’s impression of you. And there’s no hotter button to push than the one that activates a tingle torrent. A million things about you can anger a woman, but if her anger is accompanied by a stirring in her snatch she’ll rationalize your flaws away as if they were puffs of girlish illusion.

Commenter newlyaloof adds a few more Relationship Reset strategies,

#6 Dress/eat differently (adding variety to your life). When wife notices the switch and comments about it, say, “Yeah, I’ve moved on.”

#7 Mention the young, cute girl at the office whenever possible (commute with her if possible too). Instant wife motivator.

#8 Can’t remember who stated this, but if your wife questions anything that you mention, say “Because the words left my mouth, that’s why.”

#6 is thermonuclear, and the blast radius enlarges the longer you can maintain an air of opacity concerning the meaning of your explanation.

I hope everyone enjoyed Asshole Game Week. If popular demand warrants, I may feature another week devoted to the craft of cleaving clefts by psychological axe.

Read Full Post »

Asshole Game Week: In Pickup Games, Offense Wins Every Time

Asshole Game Week: Day One is here. Day Two here. Day Three here.

Pijama Wearing Ninja provides a clinic on how to pick up sexy girls at the gym with nothing but a devil-may-care recklessness and a honed talent for segueing every subject into one with sexual overtones.

I went to the gym today and the only girl in there with both a cute face and body was doing squats and I complimented her on not being a cardio girl and told her that soon she will squat as much as me. We talked about guys who don’t train legs for a minute and how they’re the equivalent of cardio girls in the gym. She asked me what happened to me (as in to my knee) and I told her penis reduction surgery. She laughed and asked me why is my scar on my knee then and I told her that the surgeon was very clumsy. She giggled so I told her that I don’t like girls who laugh at injured people. I told her I have to go and told her my name and she told me hers and extended her hand and I told her that she probably has calloused hands from all the squatting so kissed her cheek and took her number.

That was… fuckin poetry. There’s a lot going on. Let’s unpack it.

PWN’s opener is at once a fronthanded and a backhanded compliment. congrats for eschewing cardio in favor of squats… oh and soon you will have legs like strong masculine man.

He moves into humorously DLVing his competition. (this is pua jargon for “tearing other guys down”).

Then there’s his refusal to give a straight answer, opting instead for the flirty, sexualized tease of “penis reduction surgery”. (Beta males are notoriously bad at answering women’s questions with anything but logical, tingle-killing coherence.)

He punches up his momentum with a sterling disqualification: “I don’t like girls who laugh at injured people.” Push-pull is the metronome of seduction.

He exits the conversation first, but not before delivering a final, asshole-caliber taunt: “I told her she probably has calloused hands from all the squatting.”

And then, of course, the physical escalation at the end is a move no non-asshole would dare attempt.

PWN follows up:

I think I’ll invite her for some minigolf this weekend or next week and the loser would have to buy the winner an alcoholic drink of their choosing*. Mine will be a glass of wine. I like good wines so that will also give me something to DHV with and girls love wine. The minigolf place is really close to a winebar and both are 20 minutes away of walking from my place, which has a pretty good skyline. Too bad it’s winter and I can’t just have a walk with her due to the cold and the skyline will be blocked by the fog. FUCK WINTER!

Pickup during winter is probably the lamest, especially if the girls will bond to you and expect gifts on Valentines, another similar day we have here, 1st of March and 8th of March. Back in the days of abundance, I always fought with my girls on purpose and rekindled or found new ones after this month of financial carnage. I seriously prefer buying my mother lots of flowers than wasting my money on silly tarts. lol

*used to teach girls if I was beating them really bad, which was good excuse to kino. Rusty now so not sure I’ll get to do it.

What kind of man but an asshole would deliberately fight with girlfriends as a con to get out of buying V-Day gifts and dinners?

By Asshole Game standards, PWN’s gym pickup marginally qualifies, but inclusion into the world of sexxxy assssssholes is relative to the competition. The marching mass of mediocrities known affectionately as beta males wouldn’t talk this way to a girl even in their Casanova-conjuring dreams. And that is why they fail.

Read Full Post »

Asshole Game Week: Slip Out The Back, Jack

Asshole Game Week: Day One is here. Day Two here.

What happens when you totally bail on a woman? She fumes and refuses to ever talk to you again? She waves off the thought of you with a dismissive mental gesture? Or… something else?

Commenter Hosswire writes,

About a year ago, after voraciously clicking through all of the glorious Chateau’s game posts I decided to up my asshole game with a hot 20-something (I’m 41) half-black acrobat (blackrobat) chick I had just won over with my new arrogant & sexually entitled persona.

This reads like the voice-over intro to a Swingers-esque indie flic.

At that time, I had seen enough results to know that CH precepts were effective, though felt like there were levels of assholeness that created counterproductive results. So I was, like, 95% convinced.

There are levels of assholery that can be counterproductive, and this is in large part contextual. More desperate older, uglier or chubbier women will wilt under the kind of sustained asshole attack that would send a younger, hotter, tighter woman into an upward spiral of horny delirium.

Anyway. This chick was part of an aerial acrobatic (Cirque de Soleil shit) school & invited me to her Winter show. Bought me tickets, introduced me to her friends, made a big production out of it.

Halfway through the show, for no other reason than to be a dick, I got up & walked out.

Twenty minutes later, I got a text:

Her: Did you really leave?

I waited a good 10-15 minutes before replying.

Me: Meeting some friends for drinks

Note the lack of apology or excuse. If you’re gonna play the asshole game, you’ve got to appear comfortable with your rule-breaking mystique. Don’t flinch!

Three minutes later, I realized that it was literally impossible to be too big an asshole for women when I got this text:

Her: When are you going to be home? I am going to rock your world tonight.

That night, with the help of some coconut oil from my kitchen I experienced every orifice of that dusky beauty. Color me 100% convinced now. Asshole game works.

Topically administered medium-chain triglyceride sex is the healthy alternative.

I wouldn’t infer too much about the effectiveness of asshole game from the biracial nature of the lead temptress. I’ll have a post related to the race-asshole game nexus soon but, in short, although there is reason to think a Rushtonian “Rule of Three” governs the receptiveness of women from different races to asshole game, I’ve found that there are attenuating variables that work against a broad racial disposition.

For instance, the white men in upscale WM-BW couples are often very beta-ish, or at least not at all like the wiggers you’d expect. I suspect that the higher class black women willing to date outside their race are the sort of women craving a dependable, faithful provider, and are therefore less likely than their sun-baked sistren to require the courtship equivalent of a crotch grab to grab their attention.

A more pertinent factor is the degree of femininity of the biracial beauty. It’s a good bet that a half-black acrobat is out on the far right side of the black woman bell curve for slenderness and femininity, and, if my experience and SCIENCE tell us something, it’s that young, highly feminine women of any race tend to be the most receptive to asshole game. So, if this “blackrobat” loves her assholes, it’s probably less a consequence of her racial pedigree than it is of her femininity.

PS I don’t know Hosswire’s race (his tone suggests non-black), but whatever it is, it wouldn’t much alter my analysis.

Read Full Post »

Asshole Game Week: Jerkitude Under Pressure

Asshole Game Week: Day One is here.

Reader ‘Hackett To Bits’ summons the animating spirit of the Olympian god Prickicissus.

It feels good to find that different reality.

Me: 45 yo, (amicably) divorced
She: 23 yo waif/neurotic in the booty call zone

Some grousers are gonna say, “well, she isn’t interested in a relationship”, conveniently missing the point that hot booty call sex with a 23yo kitten beats the stuffing out of stuffing an aging beauty with relationship glue. Also missing the point that to get to a relationship, it helps to first be fucking the girl.

Recent text chat snippet:

Me: No one can resist jerk man
She: You’re not that cute.
Me: Doesn’t matter, jerk man doesn’t need to be
She: You’re overly confident and full of yourself
Me: Aww shucks
She: Point proven
Me: (emoticon wearing shades)

NO ONE has ever called me ‘overly confident’ before…oh I’m feeling it now.

You should be. Chicks dig overconfident men who act pleased as punch with themselves.

There are a lot of game concepts in play here. There’s the avoidance of defensiveness. “Doesn’t matter, jerk man doesn’t need to be” Agree&Amplify. “Aww shucks” And emoji game.

In a few short texts, Hackett conveyed a master class in jerkboy charisma game. This is the kind of uncaring asshole teasing that hot young women hungrily lap up. It’s not indicative of the extremes in assholery that a man can achieve, but it is within the sphere of behavior that characterizes smug prickitude, which is so tantalizing and arousing to women.

Read Full Post »

Asshole Game Week: Replacement Therapy

Welcome to Asshole Game Week, the evil twin of Relationship Game Week, in which Tales of Tingles Torqued are told as a lesson for the benighted. A warning to those who are faint of heart or tiny of testicle: This would be a good week to avoid visits to the Chateau. Buzzfeeder bromides and self-fellating Millennial feels are only one short click away for you!

Reader Reservoir Tip fires a brood-blocked, hamster-shocked, money shot to start off the celebrations for this week-long pagan holiday:

Funny story for you all:

Last night, I ended up in a little bit of a dilemma. I had two girls scheduled to come over at the same time, mainly because I was expecting one of them to flake. To my surprise, she didn’t.

I thought about bringing them both in and trying for the threesome, but decided against it. As girl one walks into my place, girl two texts me saying she’s arrived. I text girl two back and tell her that “the shit hit the fan” and that I can’t join her tonight. She’s pissed, and rightly so, really. What I pulled was pretty low, and definitely rude.

Nothing puts a lady in the mood like innuendo rude of a woman number two.

Regardless, I’m sitting around with girl one, doing a simple movie at my place, but she ends up being kind of a bitch, and we split after about an hour and a make out.

I text girl two back, “hey come over now.”

She comes right over and i boink her.

If your value is high enough, and the girl is horny enough, she’ll do anything, apparently.

Asshole dicktum #1: Always keep two in the kitty.

Asshole dicktum #2: Don’t apologize for being an asshole.

Asshole dicktum #3: Chicks dig a man with options, especially options that are intriguingly implied.

Asshole dicktum #4: Few women can resist a man with a well-honed sexual entitlement complex.

Asshole dicktum #5: Act like a high value man, and women will believe you’re a high value man.

Tomorrow: Increase the voltage.

Read Full Post »

The Reverse Cockblock

While reading an article at ROK about taking the Grease Pill and letting your hair go native sans shampooing, a tangent by the author, Samseau, grabbed my attention.

Then I went to the men’s room and took a leak. When the girls I came with asked me where I had been, I told them “there was a line” and she asked me if I had any weed, which I did, but the fat friend did a reverse cockblock* out on the street and prevented her from going anywhere else with me. […]

* Reverse Cockblock: “Oh, you know what? Just go home with him. You should go. Have a good time. Just go. I don’t care.” <—- Most effective cockblock line in the world. Even if she goes home with you, she’ll still feel like a slut as soon as you make a move on her and the LMR [ed: last minute resistance] will be insurmountable.

The Reverse Cockblock, or what is more precisely termed the Reverse Psychology Cockblock, is something most men will rarely encounter. I’ve never heard that sort of line from a cockblock, and I’ve had to deal with more than my fair share of spiteful CBs maneuvering to deep-six my romantic fortunes.

The typical cockblock will work her black magic in one of three ways:

1. She’ll pout along the perimeter and look really pathetic, until the hot friend you’re chatting up can’t help but notice her fat friend’s distress. Game over.

2. She’ll bulldoze her way into your conversation, gripping her friend by the arm, and dragging her out the door while shouting about this or that bar they have to go to, and yelling “BYEEEEE” at you through a shit-eating grin as she exits with her quarry helplessly entangled. Game over.

3. She’ll make a complete bitch of herself, executing increasingly labyrinthine and complex shit tests designed to publicly humiliate you until her hot friend becomes disenchanted with your feebleness while under attack. GAME OVER, MAAAN.

There are a vast array of cockblock strategies, but the three above will account for 80% of your CB victimizations. Exceptions abound, but you’ll be well-covered if you know how to handle those three.

But… WOW JUST WOW… the passive-aggressive Reverse Cockblock is quite devious. I’d have to tip my atheist goon fedora to a chubster who successfully pulled off a reverse psychology cockblock on me. Truly evil. What the RCB is doing is essentially activating her hot friend’s ASD (anti-slut defenses) in your stead. She’s co-opted betaboy anti-game and turned it into a girl game victory.

So here are my anti-RCB solutions, should this pure evil alight upon your Valalpha.

– Agree & Amplify

“Oh, you know what? Just go home with him. You should go. Have a good time. Just go. I don’t care.”

“We will, thanks! It’s so nice of you to want the best for your friend. I hope she doesn’t break my heart.”

– Re-Reverse Psychology

“Oh, you know what? Just go home with him. You should go. Have a good time. Just go. I don’t care.”

[to cockblock]: “Don’t worry, I was just about to hand her over to you. You look like more fun anyhow.”

– Jerkboy Ridicule

“Oh, you know what? Just go home with him. You should go. Have a good time. Just go. I don’t care.”

[to CB]: “Don’t feel left out. You can join too.”

– Flay Her Alive

“Oh, you know what? Just go home with him. You should go. Have a good time. Just go. I don’t care.”

[to target, whispering]: “I think your friend needs you right now more than I do.”

***

I hope this game advice helps more men bed the women they really want to bed, and to have the freedom to choose which among those quality women will be honored with a long-term commitment and eventual progeny.

Read Full Post »

How To Play The Preselection Game

Commenter Meet Isolate Escalate has a game question dealing with preselection.

Has anyone ever purposefully met up with a good looking girl to demonstrate value to someone (another potential) he knows will be present?

Yes, but then what usually happens is a redirection of my attention to the good-looking girl I’m using as a prop. The burdens of being a man!

I can easily pull this off in such a manner that not only am I meeting with a hottie (flaky one from the past that I barely trust) just to see what she says, but I can double it up with social value on a much younger girl. Is there a caution or precaution that I must take with this situation?

Studies have consistently shown that female preselection makes a man more attractive to women. The inverse is not true. (Other men are not more attracted to the homely girlfriends or wives of high status men.)

Therefore, preselection is a valuable weapon in a man’s arsenal of seduction. When you can leverage it, do so.

The rules of the preselection game are simple.

1. Be seen with high SMV (sexual market value) girls, preferably younger hotter tighter than your designated target(s).

2. Be opaque about your female company’s relationship with you.

3. Know when to discharge your preselection pawn for your primary lust interest.

4. Don’t be obvious about it.

Rule number 1 is the most fluid. If your targets are typically 2s (waysa?), then your PPs (preselection pawns) needn’t be hotties. You can achieve the same effect with 3s on your arm. Preselection even works with PPs who are equally attractive (or unattractive) as your targets. The only scenario where PP won’t work, (and in fact you’ll hurt your chances more than if you had gone out alone), is when your PP is much uglier than your targets. Don’t expect to raise many inquisitive hottie eyebrows with a fat chick by your sides.

(The use of the word “target” is designed to infuriate those tradcon readers who bristle at the efficient reduction of women into jargony set pieces.)

Rule number 2 is easy enough. When asked, allude to your PP as “a very close friend”. Leave it at that. If pressed, strike a pose of indignation. “Are we playing the 20 Questions game already?” If pressed further, accuse her of jealousy. Congratulations, you are now officially being chased by a woman. Life just got a lot easier.

Rule number 3 is the most difficult to master. You should have established nonverbal cues with your PP to notify her when it’s time she makes a graceful exit. Don’t be afraid of coaching a PP on what to say (chicks love this sort of manufactured matchmaker drama). Have her leave you with flourish. I like to have PPs call me by a nickname flush with sexual innuendo, so that the girl I’m with has a reason to ask what it means. For example:

PP: “See you around, Golden God.”

Girl: “Why did she call you Golden God?”

The Sexorcist: “Who knows. Gratitude?”

Naturally, there will be times (most times, if experience tells) when your PP will be in the dark about your true intention to utilize her as a walking pheromone for attracting other women. If you have invited your PP under false pretexts, then Rule 3 won’t be a cooperative venture; you’ll be on your own taking the initiative to dismiss yourself from your PP’s company so that you can spend quality time with your target.

WARNING: If your PP harbors an unresolved desire for you, perfunctorily dismissing her to be with another woman carries the risk of one, two or all combatants making a scene. A scene can work in your favor, but not if you’re a beta newb. I have seen betas chew off more drama than they can digest, and the results are hilarious. “Stampeded underfoot” is a term that comes to mind.

Anyhow, the proper method for extracting yourself from your duped PP’s company is… slip out the back.

Not really kidding. This will work. Once. After that, your PP may be reticent to go out with you.

So, an exit with the long view in mind:

Get cozy with your target. Touch, smile, gaze. Any PP who previously accompanied you and who isn’t a social cripple will catch the flirty signals and leave you two alone. If you feel bad about abandoning your PP, use her impending discomfort as an opportunity to swap numbers with your target and leave her wanting more, providing the handy excuse that your “friend” has to be someplace else and you promised to go with her.

(FYI, PPs can also be on-the-fly, which is a worthy topic best left for another post.)

Rule number 4 is the most important rule to get right. If it’s apparent to everyone with a woman’s IQ that you’re really interested in some other girl than the one you have with you, the ruse will falter. You’ve got to at least put up a decent front that your hottie pawn is with you not as a courtesy, but as a mysterious friend who may or may not be your lover. If your pawn bolts as soon as she sees some other dude, or you dump her at the first sight of your target, the game is likely to unravel. Play the full board. This is a marathon through very scenic countryside, not a foot race through the red light district.

I hope this helps, young Pantywan. May the pudendum rise to meet you, may your thrust be ever at her crack.

Read Full Post »