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Archive for the ‘Game’ Category

Male sexual entitlement – in its broader application, overconfidence – is attractive to women.

Here is an example of it in action (messages from girl on left):

Reader Blick Mang writes,

Please rewind to 2005, slap me in the face, and say “I fucking told you so.”

No further commentary required.

Thank you for it all.

You’re welcome.

Why do women love male sexual entitlement? It signals male status. What kind of man can afford to posture like a Lothario? What kind of man expects pussy to fall in his lap? That’s right, a high status man. A man, in other words, that other women want. Entitlement <-> status <-> female preselection. This is the wondrous feedback loop that traps vaginas in amplifying oscillations of raw tinglage.

As an exercise for newer readers, here’s the breakdown of Mang’s message game:

GIRL: …that is all I deserve?

MANG: We’ll have to see. 8===D

Instead of offering tributes to her achievement of being born with a vagina, Mang challenges her to make him a more generous man. The universal Dick Signal is, shall we say, none too subtle innuendo.

GIRL: sorry, that kinda puts me off blah blah i’m not that kind of girl.

Now, if Mang were a beta, he would’ve tried to appease this indignant girl right around here. Most betas, sensing that a monster is growing within the girl they love, promptly revert to Supplication&Appeasement mode. “I don’t expect that. I meant to call you earlier. I don’t think of you that way” etc. Mang wisely avoids this manipulative female beta bait.

MANG: Eating my jelly beans puts me off. 🙂

Tingles are born in the defensive crouch. Nice reframe. (Prolly could’ve dropped the winkie.) This one liner contains some powerful subcommunication that affects girls’ behavior. Its subtext says to a girl, “I’m not going to apologize for being a man, and if you go I won’t lose a wink of sleep.”

The girl sticks to her guns, but you can sense she’s weakening under the alpha onslaught.

GIRL: i deserve respect from you, even though i slept with you

Mang holds his frame.

MANG: See you tomorrow

Nice lack of punctuation.

GIRL: ok

Translation: Her pussy just exploded.

She’s defeated. Her euphoric defeat was so complete she mewled to see him a day earlier. Game recognized.

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The Boyfriend Zone

Reader H.H. is bedeviled by the Boyfriend Zone.

Dear Chateau! you’ve helped me a lot so…

What to do when girls always put me in the “potential boyfriend” category? I’m a sociable guy who usually has no problems talking to strangers, getting people to smile or laugh, etc. I travel, have a cool job, hit the gym every once in a while and know my way around both in a sports bar and in an art gallery.

However, I tend to always be approached or at the very least orbited by 7s and 8s looking for a relationship*. ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term” or ”I’d like to kiss you now, but I have to find out first whether you’re married”. (I could take them home and fuck them, but I hate to lie.)

I’m more interested in short crazy, one nighters with no strings attached. What’s this? I’ve been afraid that I’m giving out too many nice guy vibes, could that be it? Is there an element of danger missing? Are the sluts not interested? What am I fucking up?

*Of course the next step is to upgrade from 7-8s to 8-9s, but i’m not sure if that problem is connected with this…

When a woman tries to put you in the Boyfriend Zone, it usually means you’re giving off a heavy player vibe. She fears you’ll make her another bedpost notch, but she desires you, so to reconcile the good feeling with the bad feeling, she presses for reassurances that you won’t use and lose her. This is classic anti-slut defense (ASD) posturing.

This is a perfectly natural female response, and you have two ways to tackle it. One, you can tone down your charming jerk vibe in favor of more beta-ish cues of reliability and emotional investment. In game parlance, you’d back off of the teasing and flirting and stress comfort-building and qualification (i.e., “Do you like the idea of traveling with one person you really love?”). You’ll also want to flash hints of vulnerability. “I’ve had my heart broken enough times to know I’m no player.” With these girls, that effervescent connection is king. “I’m just a guy looking for the same thing you are.”

Two, you can screen for girls who want short, crazy flings or one night stands. This means you amp your jerk smirk to 11 and escalate sexually (and logistically). The idea is that you avoid any confusion that you’re potential boyfriend material. Mixed messages are probably what’s confusing girls about your intentions. Normally, this is a good thing, unless you don’t like to mislead girls, which you said you don’t. An unambiguous dispatch of your cad intentions communicated through your behavior filters for girls who want the same thing. You’ll scare away LTR-focused girls, while attracting sluts, unhappily married women, ovulating women, thrill-seekers, rebounds, urban gogrrls on anonymous adventures, highly sexual women, and smart women.

Occasionally, a woman will put you in the Boyfriend Zone because your behavior in some way has pinged her boyfriend radar, and she’s excited about the prospect of dating a man who’s on her wavelength. Her excitement can be so great, she seeks validation for the LTR promise that hangs heavy in the air between you two. This validation seeking can take the form of probing questions about your “commitment to commitment”, because for these women romantic escalation is as intoxicating as sexual escalation. Many players have no compunction about leading these types of women on (and it’s quite easy to be good at it), so if that’s not something you’d do then you’ll have to stick to strategy #2 and actively select for low impulse control girls.

I have some disheartening news. If you’re constitutionally against the idea of leading women on*, you’ll have a harder time finding many 8s or 9s interested in no-strings-attached sex. Contrary popular mythology, most funfunfun girls who’ll agree to what amounts to slutting it up are the wastoids, the desperate, and, if your game is good, the borderline cuties in the 5-7 range. While SCIENCE! is hard to come by, my impression is that blue city 7s rack up more sex partners than 9s. Which makes sense; all women want the alpha male’s sex and the alpha male’s commitment. But only the best women — read: the hottest — have reasonable expectations of achieving both goals. Less hot girls will sometimes resort to giving away their sex for a shot of alpha male money shots and a slim hope of rousing his long game lovingkindness in the post-coital glow (it rarely happens).

This isn’t to say that you can’t find a boner fried hottie who tingles for the flingle. They’re around; they’re just better at concealing, even to themselves, any latent desire for a sexual romp. If you want to be both honest and noncommittal with a beauty, you’ll have a road ahead of you. If you can handle soft-shoeing your NSA message without having a moral crisis, then blazing a trail of microtears through HSMV women will be easier. Hotties are gonna need to see some feints away from pure sexual objectification. Of course, you’ll still want to make them work for your love.

“I’m dating around until I find that one woman I click with.”

PS *”Leading women on” is just another term for nonjudgmentalism. Men who don’t lead women on are, by necessity, more judgmental of the women they meet. Because in fact there is no such thing as true nonjudgmentalism; we’re all judging something about someone else at any given time. Hiding your judgmentalism is good for business if your business is persuading women to giveitaway.

PPS When a girl says ”I’d like to leave home with you, but I need to know that you’re interested in the long term”, the best reply is one that assuages her fears and avoids supplication. That means, don’t jump on her beta bait with forceful vows of fidelity.

BAD:

“Oh, I’m definitely interested in the long term with you. I’ve always wanted a girlfriend.”

GOOD:

“Like you, I want the same things. But I can only answer that once I get to know you and spend time with you.”

Your long term interest is presumed but not guaranteed.

Maxim #45: If a girl isn’t working for your love, she’s making you work for hers. Better to be a love owner than a love laborer.

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If a girl tells you she’s having boyfriend troubles, what message should you take from that? How would you proceed?

A reader provides blog fodder,

I have a hot personal trainer, obviously I’m interested. She has a boyfriend, but the other day she sent me a text telling me the boyfriend might be cheating on her.

Got any Personal Trainer Game tips?

First of all, you don’t see hot female personal trainers with male clients very often, unless she works as a class instructor. One-on-one? Rare. I wonder if the reader is a minor celebrity. Now male personal trainers giving hands-on guidance to hot chicks in yoga pants? That harassment is everywhere.

This is a relevant game scenario that could involve any girl, regardless of her occupation. Sometimes a girl will drop a hint, subtle or otherwise, that she’s back on the market. These signals of market reintroduction should rarely be taken at face value. Unfortunately, beta males will typically leap on this female availability bait and immediately interview themselves for the replacement job.

There are various reasons why a girl would volunteer information to a third party man about her fraying relationship. If the information is of the “my man is cheating on me” sort, you’ve got to be extra careful handling that ho potato. First you’ll need to untangle penumbras and emanations of meaning.

A girl will announce to a platonic male friend (or, in this case, client) that her BF is cheating for any of the following reasons:

1. He really is cheating, and she wants to find a new man to alleviate the pain of rejection. This is your classic rebound offer.

2. He really is cheating, but she still loves him and wants to stay with him. Her actions then can best be interpreted as trawling for sympathy and flattery from another man so she can feel attractive again.

3. He isn’t cheating, and she’s a slutty sociopath fishing for a handy rationalization to start cheating on him.

4. She’s the one cheating (but not with you), and logic has been hamsterspun to suit her glowing self-conception. By lying to you, the third party man, about the source of infidelity, she transfers some of her incipient guilt to the ether known affectionately as “men are pigs”.

5. No one’s cheating. She’s just an attention whore who may or may not want to sleep with you.

If you were to actively pursue a girl who signaled her market availability by throwing her boyfriend under the bus, one of the following rom-com endings are likely to be your fate:

1. She makes endless promises to leave her BF. This result isn’t so bad, if sex and good times is all you want with her. Essentially, you’ll be entering a three-way relationship as the interloper who cucks her boyfriend. You are her Ovulation Lover. Just don’t make the mistake of committing to her, unless you enjoy the prospect of hearing her come up with new excuses every week why she’s still with him. If you aren’t fucking her, then in this scenario, by default, you’re her beta male orbiter. Don’t be a beta male orbiter.

2. She insists she has left her BF, but hasn’t. You are now a bug in her web of lies. Why does she lie? She doesn’t trust you to be a full replacement, she doesn’t want to leave her boyfriend, or surreptitious love triangles featuring her in the starring role make her horny. Alpha fux, beta bux is definitely in play here. If you discover her lie, she’ll find some way to spin it as an act of human kindness or as a breach of agreed-upon terms (terms which were elucidated only in her head). “I still have feelings for him.” “I didn’t want to hurt him.” “He needs me.” “I figured you’d understand.” “I thought you knew what this was about?” This scenario can be benign, but only if all of the below apply:

– the boyfriend isn’t a crazy mofo who’ll come after you

– you are fucking her, but not dating her with long-term goals in mind

– she isn’t a vector for venereal disease

– she isn’t a vector for surprise pregnancy

– she doesn’t occupy too much of your free time.

When it turns malign:

You aren’t fucking her but are being used as an aural pincushion for her self-pitying stabs of romantic discontent.

3. She really has left her boyfriend, and she’s left him for you. Lotto! Not so fast, young pat-a-twat. If you’re rebound material, the strength of novel passion might not be there to fortify a deep love in her. Don’t expect her to become your girlfriend. Again, not a big dealio if feelio is all you want. If, otoh, she has excommunicated her boyfriend and you and her alight on a voyage of priapic discovery, there will always be that cloud of deception trailing her wake. Did she lie about who really cheated on whom? Why did she even volunteer that information, unless it was to relieve her guilt or encourage your premature sexual intercession? Will she pull the same stunt on you? Bottom line: You can never trust girls who air their dirty laundry.

4. She really has left her boyfriend, but not necessarily for you. Now you’re in the danger zone. You start to fill with fantasies of lust and love for your newly-freed girl-friend. She, knowingly or not, fuels your excitement and neediness with tales of her empowered but simultaneously cloyingly vulnerable decision to leave her BF, and your internal frenzy betrays your efforts at external aloofness. Since you don’t know for sure whether she considers you a worthy substitute, (and she has, as nature intended, played her part in stoking your uncertainty), your game abandons you as the finish line fades in and out of your view. You think, not illogically, that she’s romantically interested in you, because why else would she admit her relationship failings to you unless her intention was to incite you to swoop in for the rescue? Damn logic, trips up so many men. Like so many female shit tests, the “my BF is cheating on me woe is me thanks for being there” ruse is a plate of prime id that betaboys can’t resist chomping. This scenario is a recipe for drawn-out heartache.

****

So what should the reader do? His personal trainer sent him a text announcing her boyfriend was cheating on her. That the news was delivered via text and not face-to-face is interesting in itself, especially considering that personal trainers and their clients share a lot of quasi-intimate time together when bedroom secrets could find multiple routes of escape.

I suspect she sent the text because she’s feeling some guilt for her role in whatever her relationship drama is supposed to signify. There’s nothing quite like an electronic middleman layer to hide revealing facial expressions. There is more danger in sending a text, too, as the risk of discovery is higher than if she confessed her desire to sin in evaporative vocal mists.

Reader: Given these premises, my diagnosis is that she is clumsily hinting she wants you to personally train her vagina. (Premises subject to change if additional info is released. For instance, the length of the reader’s platonic textual relationship with his tart trainer.)

You proceed like you would with any girl texting her market availability: You embrace the zen of amused indifference, proffer your heartfelt condolences (“dat sux”), and suggest a place where she could meet you, privately, if she “needs your company to take her mind off things”. Then you give her an evening when you might be available, reminding her to check with you first. DO NOT, under whatever scrotal or psychological duress, entertain her tacit aspiration for an asexual therapist. You have balls to drain, and women should always be aware of that on some level.

That final warning means, “don’t chomp on her beta bait”. The next time you have a session with her (following on the heels of her plaintive text wail), you’ll be tempted to bring up the subject of her text and suggest an immediate post-training drink. I say you should lay off for a bit. Pretend like you didn’t even read her text, or forgot about it. Let her bring it up at your next IRL meeting. (Refusing beta bait is a huge DHV. Alphas rarely have time to commiserate with distressed women lamenting cheating boyfriends.)

If she brings it up first, then you’ll have your platform to a) swiftly dismiss any possibility that you’ll listen to an endless stream of her dramatic renderings (a teasing neg helps here) and b) offer an opportunity for a post-session private session at a logistically favorable public venue. “Well, I’m free for a bit after our next workout if you want to grab a drink and talk about happier things.” Cat string theory. Pull away a little bit, make her chase. Don’t go rushing to her with arms open in affection and sympathy; like a cat, she’ll hiss and run for cover.

***

Reader Tilikum adds an important caveat,

that said, I’d never even get close to any type of trainer/meathead/gymrat either female as the object of my desire, or her male meathead BF. loads of insecurity and “lets you and him fight” drama IMO. almost worse than cops and soldiers. and i’v banged a ton of attached chicks from all three.

“Let’s you and him fight” is an urge in most women, as most women crave, to a lesser or greater degree, manufactured romance drama. The best kind of drama, from women’s POV, is that which pits men in acts of valor (or stupidity) for a faire maiden’s hand. Gym rats and exercise fiends are, I agree, especially susceptible to this kind of female drama whoring. Maybe because they’re surrounded by so much testosterone all day that their estrogenic alter egos get pushed into overdrive and the thought of gladiators duking it out sends tremors ripping through their dilated wombs.

***

Heywood Jablome goes for the kill,

Reply text:

“8:00 at joes bar on 5th st”

The bold reply right after she texts you about her “cheating boyfriend” is the right strategy IF

1. She has a history of dropping indicators of interest your way. Then her “bad boyfriend” text could be considered an escalation of her sexual intent toward you.

2. Your behavior in her company to date has left no impression that you’d be the sort of man who’d volunteer a shoulder for her to cry on.

If these apply, then go right ahead and push for an insta-date (although in this case, it’d more precisely be called “foreplay”).

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Attention whores — and here we’re mostly talking about women, as the sex likely to exhibit both commonplace and extreme versions of attention whore disorder (AWD) — exploit a plethora of psychological ploys to get their external validation fix.

Reader walawala describes a few of the most recognizable AWD symptoms,

Attention whoring takes on a variety of forms and social media enables it. Some examples beyond this [Shoshana Roberts catcaller] video which is extreme:

Revealing photos on FB crying out for thirsty man comments: “wow” etc

Mentions of health issues: “Headache now…so painful” crying out for sympathy. Sympathy helps keep the attention pipeline flowing without any requirements for reciprocation.

Mentions of work stress: “So busy!!” etc—same as above.

Achievements: [ed: this was blank. maybe walawala will clarify.]

Photos with new shit: new iPhone.

Food they ate or cooked.

Generally I ignore all this unless it’s the occasional well-placed “like” if there’s something unusual or particularly noteworthy.

Feigning illness, mental or physical, is classic AWD behavior. So is exhibitionism. The cruel streak in an attention whore is evident when she acts indignant that you admired whatever naked body part she “accidentally” displays. Attention whores are selfish, narcissistic, often manic-depressive, and prone to cycles of angry blow-ups and pleas for tolerance. Generally, they prey on weak beta males who fear losing the pussy. Experienced men rarely get ensnared for long by the manipulations of ego-gluttonous attention whores.

Attention whores share a lot of traits with women who have BPD (borderline personality disorder). AWs usually are not as scheming as BPDs, which means they can be more easily and quickly identified and avoided or, if you have the COINTEL chops and a thirst for adventure, toyed with for sexual bennies.

Some other forms of female attention whoring are:

– Cutting into conversations with a frequency and assumed authority that could be described as pathological.

– Evincing an astounding lack of self-awareness or humility.

– An inability to listen while simultaneously demanding rapt attention from her human sounding boards.

– A facility tossing out breezy insults that stands in stark contrast to her thin-skinned pique when she perceives herself being attacked.

– A curious lack of fulfillment when she receives the attention she was goading, and a spiral of excitement when her attention seeking is ignored or cavalierly dismissed.

– A preternatural talent for getting into “scrapes” and making “scenes” where she is cast, yet again, as the wholly innocent flashpoint of the drama that magically follows her everywhere.

– Aggravating her mark to the point of exasperation or even anger. An attention whore prefers positive attention but will take negative attention if the former isn’t possible to bait.

– An eternal martyr complex she leverages to push unwitting accomplices into guilt and acquiescence to her theater of the hamster.

– Gossip. Backstabbing. Feigned naivete to encourage the spilling of secrets. Sowing discord is the invidious fuel that feeds the attention whore’s thirsty heart.

If any of these AWD symptoms manifest in a girl during a date, you are in for a storm of drama queen bitchery, endless games of one-upmanship, and passive-aggressive emotional blackmail if you later decide to pursue a long-term arrangement with her. Most attention whores age into certifiable nutcases as their looks fade and they have to go to ever more absurd lengths to receive ever less satisfying hits of validation. The old attention whore is not unlike the mentally ill homeless bum screaming obscenities at passersby.

Every woman has a little attention whore in her. The trick is to avoid those women who have allowed that precocious child inside to grow into a ravenous beast that consumes more love than it can give.

The key to fucking attention whores, (in the figurative and literal senses), is to NEVER satisfy her demands, no matter how appealing her acting method. You treat attention whores like you would an annoying, insufficiently respectful child: With amused disregard sharpened by a hint of contempt.

AW: “LIKE me!”

Beelzebub’s Beneficent Boner: “I LIKE your stubby eyelashes. If you require further compliments, I charge by the word.”

Low effort parrying of attention whore antics is good enough to get you the lay, but after a few weeks of quality time you’ll have to raise the stakes and firmly slap down any of her feints toward egotistic head games. When you’re pushed to this level of engagement, she’ll wail to the high heavens. Copious tears may flow. Weaker men will cave and renew her cycle. Stronger men — that is, men with an abundance of pussy mentality — will savor her tears and try to squeeze out a few more drops for entertainment purposes and as a lesson served that the sell-by date on her low self-esteem shenanigans is come and gone.

AW: “LIKE me!”

Beelzebub’s Beneficent Boner: “But you’re not likeable.”

AW: “Waaah!”

Beelzebub’s Beneficent Boner: “That’s not helping your cause.”

AW: “Fuck you!”

Beelzebub’s Beneficent Boner: “Charming.” *leaves*

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A hilariously droll response to that Shoshana Roberts catcall-baiting (s)troll through the heterodusk community was recently uploaded to YouTube. It features an attractive white woman taking a 10-hour walk through predominately white Auckland and having her experience recorded by a companion operating a concealed GoPro camera.

Nothing much happens besides a few head turns by men as she walks past them. I suppose a deranged feminist would use that as evidence of eye harassment. Dem man eyes boring holes through women’s souls… eye rape!

The first interesting reaction starts at 0:25, when she struts past a construction site. Two brown men stare at her for a while, but say nothing. It’s hard to tell if they’re very tanned white men, or nonwhite laborers; nevertheless, the scene is reminiscent of the CH observation that the colorful excesses of “diversity”, whether of the race or class variety, tend to be kept in check if subsumed into a larger culture firmly in control by a self-assured and demographically dominant white majority. Some would call this an example of a people “owning a space”.

At 0:37, she receives a very aggressive eye rape from a mustachioed man who, it should be noted, looks conspicuously nonwhite.

The dramatic climax starts at 0:44. A white man notices her as he walks in the opposite direction, does a turnabout, and skips ahead to her side to drop some indirect day game on her. He stops her and asks if she’s Italian. Is this guy a Yad or Krauser acolyte? No mention is made in the video if he got her number. Her GoPro companion keeps walking, possibly to give her some privacy to exchange numbers with the bold pickup artist.

Which leads to another point: Catcalling is anti-game on white women. You will actually lower your chances more by sloppily catcalling a pretty white girl than you would by doing nothing except posing and hoping she digs your contrapposto. White men either intuitively know this and therefore deliberately refrain from the practice, or white men are constitutionally averse to picking up women like a carnival barker. Catcalling is one of those male mating dances that appears to be mostly race-specific; that is, blacks and pedros love it, and their women might very well enjoy it and even occasionally reward it. These guys will also catcall white women, but mostly because they don’t understand that white women don’t vibe with that style of primitive machismo.

Catcalling is also qualitatively different from game-savvy street pickup, the latter which is honed and practiced by, mostly, white men. Hooting at a girl to “show some love”, or “smile more”, or following on her heels for blocks without saying a word except a mewling “Am I too ugly for you”, is not game. Walking up to her side, stopping her, asking some nonsexual question with plausibly innocent intent, and swiftly moving the topic of conversation into more fertile ground leading to a number or kiss close is game that works, and importantly it’s game that works on the world’s most desirable women: Slender white women. (The qualifier is, tragically, more necessary than ever.)

Other than the white PUA flashing some game, and a flabby beta foreigner asking her for directions, she manages to walk the entire city unmolested by white men with active sex drives.

Lesson of the tape: White men don’t catcall. If you are a woman who secretly wants catcalls to feel attractive to men, and you don’t care about catcaller quality or courtship skill level, your best bet is to have a steatopygic ass stuffed into fuck-me jeans and a parade route through Harlem during work hours.

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Reader PA linked to an old video featuring four famous French singers embodying four distinctive styles of womanhood. All four are fantasizing about hitting on the same man who’s leaning against the bar. PA comments,

This is a delight in its own right. It’s also a Game tool: ask a girl which style, of the four shown here, is hers.

(Stay tuned for 3:34. Assuming it’s not electronically altered, dude has the deepest frog voice I’ve ever heard.)

The video is fun, and yes it does contain material that would serve very well reconstituted as a game routine. Which is what I’ve done.

Naturally, in most situations you’re not going to pull up a Youtube video for a girl you just met so you can ask her with which femme fatale she most identifies, (although there’s nothing wrong with doing that if you can manage it).

Do you remember the archetypical femmes fatales? The classics? The Chateau archives have posts about them and their particular gaming needs.

The golddigger.
The waif/neurotic.
The eternal ingenue.
The Amazonian alpha.

Asking a woman which female archetype she thinks she is will light up her eyes and deepen her conversational commitment. (Most girls like to think of themselves as ingenues. Be wary of the girl who proudly proclaims herself an amazonian alpha. Also be ready to bounce her home for the NSA bang.)

In the video, the singers represent, respectively (and commenters are free to argue with my categorizations):

Singer #1: The shy girl-next-door with a secret raging passion.
Singer #2: The fun-loving free spirit with a naughty side.
Singer #3: The elegant romantic who can throw a dinner party as well as she can flirt.
Singer #4: The take-charge seductress who might walk out with your wallet in the morning.

(Timeout to note how crazy beautiful and feminine Frenchwomen can be. I’d even consider monogamy with that first singer, and it takes a lot to inspire me to that sacrifice. Tragically, the times, and our women, have changed.)

If the girl you’re hitting on can watch this video with you, simply asking her which type she relates to will get the comfort stage ball rolling. Without the video, you’ll have to keep the above four (or eight) femmes fatales stored in memory for retrieval as part of the Femme Fatale Game Routine.

DEVIL’S VANGUARD: Women love to put men in boxes — you know, the frat bro, the nerd, the momma’s boy, the player — but there are types of women too. Femmes fatales. And men can tell a lot about a woman by her type. [pause for her curiosity to get the best of her. look away during this moment, so you don’t leave the impression that you’re anxiously anticipating her reply.]

LITTLE BO QUEEF: Really! So what type am I?

DEVIL’S VANGUARD: That depends. You see a man you like. You want to grab his attention. Do you look at him, then look away, blushing? Or do you bounce up to him and act flirty?

LITTLE BO QUEEF: Act flirty.

DEVIL’S VANGUARD: So you see yourself more as the free spirit than the shy girl-next-door. Ok, now if the choice is between being a free spirit, or sidling up in a sleek cocktail dress and remarking on his sense of style or whatever, which do you choose?

LITTLE BO QUEEF: Ooh, I like cocktail dresses. I’d do that.

DEVIL’S VANGUARD: Ok, so you’re more of an elegant romantic than a free spirit. Now you have to choose between being an elegant romantic, or wearing a sexy dress with a plunging neckline and whispering racy innuendo in his ear. The take-charge seductress.

LITTLE BO QUEEF: That’s too much for me. I’ll stick with being the sophisticated romantic in a cocktail dress.

DEVIL’S VANGUARD: Typical American woman. Great! Now I know what type you are. Ready?

LITTLE BO QUEEF: Yes!

DEVIL’S VANGUARD: The elegant romantic is passionate, but not crass. She’s no prude, she just likes a long build-up before going for the kill. She thinks herself sophisticated [ed: note that this is a challenge], and tries to dress stylishly [ed: another challenge]. She’s emotionally mature and has that natural sexiness which makes other women jealous, but not so jealous that they feel threatened. Men feel good about introducing you to business associates.

LITTLE BO QUEEF: Yay!

If words aren’t your thing, you can run an abbreviated version of the Femme Fatale Routine.

DEVIL’S REARGUARD: Shy girl-next-door, or naughty free spirit?

LITTLE HO’S SHEAF: Both!

DEVIL’S REARGUARD: That’ll do.

***

PS I understand that the “style” PA refers to may be the man’s style, but I think the routine works better as a pickup tool if you ask the girl about female-specific styles.

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Yer ‘ginal aerator has not sifted through virgin forests of montes pubis without noticing a thing or two about the rhythmic ecological tickings of women. One of those tickings is the unmistakable sound of the cogwheel shift that occurs in women who have the good fortune to fall under the admiring gaze of an overconfident man.

“Over-” being the key prefix here.

As always, social science plays catch-up to the keen Heartiste eye.

A study from 2012 concluded that even when overconfidence produces subpar results, its charm still wins the day. We might expect someone with more confidence than ability to underperform when pressed. The study tested that expectation and found it more or less accurate – but also found that it really doesn’t matter. Overconfidence may not shine when objectively tested, but it has a knack for seducing people to such a degree that they ignore the results in favor of keeping the golden child on a pedestal.

Sounds suspiciously like women ignoring the red flags of relationship threat when they’re in love with jerkboys.

If you had to isolate why, it seems to come down to a matter of status—a commodity that overconfidence is expert at creating and nurturing. When managed well, the social status conferred by overconfidence has an aura just shy of magical, capable of keeping our attention diverted from measurable results.

Chicks dig men with social status, i.e., leaders of men and women. They dig that male character trait more than looks, money, or dependability.

That’s a jarringly paradoxical conclusion when you consider the average person’s gut reaction to “that overconfident jerk.”  How can we be both repulsed and seduced by the same thing? The question gets stranger in light of another study that showed how even rudeness gets a pass if its bearer’s overconfidence has alchemized sufficient status.

In one of the study’s experiments, participants watched a video of a man at a sidewalk café put his feet on another chair, tap cigarette ashes on the ground and rudely order a meal.  Participants rated the man as more likely to “get to make decisions” and able to “get people to listen to what he says” than participants who saw a video of the same man behaving politely. Through a few other experiments the same results prevailed – people tended to rate the rule breakers as more in control and powerful compared to people who toed the line.

Jerks are rule breakers. Rule breaking is perceived as high status. High male status is attractive to women.

And what’s the all-essential ingredient in believing oneself above the rules? Why yes, overconfidence, of course. (This may also help explain why rude sales associates outsell others at luxury stores.)

Fake it till you make it. And then, once you’ve made it, fake it even more.

Those studies circle the question of why we’re prone to falling for the chutzpah of overconfidence, but say little of why the overconfident are so good at pulling it off. The most recent study on the subject has an answer that’s not likely to lessen our irritation about this whole thing, but irritatingly makes decent sense.

It can be summarized like this: Belief sells, whether it’s true or not. In the case of overconfidence, the belief in one’s ability—however out of proportion to reality—generates its own infectious energy. Self-deception is a potent means of convincing the world to see things your way.

Inner game. You won’t succeed with women until you first internalize the belief that you CAN succeed with women. And are DESTINED to succeed with women. Another term for this is ABUNDANCE MENTALITY. When you start to believe that there’s a new woman around every corner excited to meet you, that no one woman has a monopoly on specialness, then WOMEN THEMSELVES will begin to believe that about you, too. It’s as if your self-enlarging belief system is carried aloft on an ether of sexy vibes that women can sniff out from the dispiriting miasma of beta male self-doubt that permeates their existence.

While we may not like that conclusion, it’s difficult to argue that it isn’t in evidence around us every day. People who don’t believe in themselves—whether that belief is well-grounded or not—aren’t likely to convince others to buy in.

A better description of the beta male mindset you would be hard-pressed to find.

What the latest study and elements of the others are telling us is that self-deception is an especially potent brand of status fertilizer. When packaged with personality, it makes others want to believe even when the results would counsel otherwise.

Game is applied charisma. Charisma is status + a charming personality. These characteristics will lift an ugly man to a desirable man in the hearts of women. A false belief in your allure as a womanizer will become a true belief in time, and you can thank women’s loving assistance for the evolution.

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