Ellipsis Game

We know girls love men whose flirting is laced with ambiguous intention. Ambiguity, especially when coupled with alluring male ambivalence, gives the female rationalization hamster room to run, generating a store of energized drama that all women need to imbue their romances with more expectation and more thrill than their mere earthly existence can afford.

What is the vanishing point of infinite ambiguity? A stone-faced expression? Radio silence? No, those are messages that, by their absence, hint of negative thoughts. True ambiguity must leave the recipient in a state of confusion, helplessly flailing as she sifts for hidden meaning in the paltry sum of white noise. One manifestation of event horizon ambiguity that can plausibly invoke that feeling of pure female joy when confronted by opaque romantic intention is something reader walawala writes about:

Very timely post and I would like to share 2 things. First a new game text I adapted and have used with interesting results. Let’s call this “The power of ‘…'”

this: … three periods. It’s now my go-to response for girls who I want to alert that their behavior is not on, that I’m expecting a response, or that I want to trial text them but have nothing to say. This … gets the hamster going.

Background, girl I’m gaming, and have maintained a clear sexual vibe with has her hamster in over-drive. We went out a few weeks ago, good time major make out, then a flake. But I didn’t get upset, just kept a positive vibe.

Here’s our text exchange from last night and “the power of …”

her: I wanna be up front. I am looking for someone ready to settle down..i u just want some fun.. we shud just be friends.

Me: …

Her: I am being ridiculous. Yesterday I met my friends for dinner..bf of one of them joined us. they just started…I think I am jealous. I also wanna bring someone special to join the dinner but no one to bring.

A few learnings:

one, note how I maintain my frame and while I don’t really know what to say I use “…” and get this huge hamster barf. I may set up drinks later. she’s up for something.

Secondly, if you’ve been following my other story, my ex gf who’s fairly hot has been chasing me since she broke up with me rather cruelly 2 weeks ago. I also maintained my frame. No beta butt-hurt crap, no lashing out, just “ok”…and ignore her.

She deleted my on FB yesterday. I considered ignoring it. Then I considered confronting her. Both are bad moves. But at the same time dead silence is kind of lame. She has tried to reach out in her angry girl butt-hurt way.

So I shot off a text late last night: …

This was my way of sending an ambiguous message to get hamster spinning knowing full well the deletion was aimed at pissing me off.

Ok, two things to consider there for you guys: girl who wants a guy to piss off her friends and ex gf crying out for attention and getting “…”

In both cases “…” is the common game tool that is more ambiguous than “gay”.

“gay” is a vitamin-enriched hamster pellet. It does the job by giving her hamster some get up and go. But there is room for it to be misconstrued by women in a way that is unfavorable to your goals.

“8===>” is a steroid injection for her hamster. It more than does the job; her hamster will hip-check Kia’s as it races toward the Golden Spinning Wheel.

But “…”, now that’s something else. A proprietary blend of genetically modified superfoods, ECA stack, endurance boosting EPO, bovine growth hormone, concentrated Red Bull (illegal in all countries except China), yak penis, distilled beet sugar, bioavailable uranium with a half life of 36,000 years, and 100% pure Colombian snow that will make her hamster spin so fast the earth’s orbit will slow and time will go backwards. A hamster eight balling on one of these “…”s is on record as spinning up the mental equivalent of a ferris wheel and racing through tubes ten miles long before sputtering out in exhaustion.

Better to disorient a woman with an intriguing ellipsis, than to blab like a beta and ruin her fun.

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Flirting Trumps Looks

Are you an incorrigible flirt? Because if you’re not, you should be. ♥Science♥ has discovered that flirting trumps looks as a courtship strategy for getting laid and getting loved.

Does flirting actually work?

Very much so. In fact, research says it’s more effective than looking good.

Signaling availability and interest trumps attractiveness.

Dr. Monica Moore, a psychologist at Webster University in St. Louis, has conducted research on the flirting techniques used in singles bars, shopping malls, and places young people go to meet each other.

She concluded that it’s not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques like eye contact and smiles.

“Flirting” is really the old school term for “game”. If you had to describe the panoply of game techniques and strategies in one everyday word, “flirting” would fit. Charismatic flirting, that is. There’s good and bad flirting, and the thrust of game is to teach men how to flirt well.

What type of flirting works best?

Two types of flirting are universal: smiling and eye contact are indicators pretty much everywhere and work for both sexes.

A classic beta male tell is an inability to hold eye contact to the point of tantalizing discomfort.

But what works better than anything else?

Touching.

And research has isolated which types of touching are regarded as “merely friendly”, in the zone of “plausible deniability”, or “going nuclear.”

Another game principle victoriously vindicated.

• Friendly: Shoulder push, shoulder tap, handshake.
• Plausible Deniability: Touch around the shoulder or waist, touch on the forearm.
• Nuclear: Face touch.

The behavior that participants rated as reflecting the most flirtation and the most romantic attraction was the soft face touch, followed by the touch around the shoulder or waist, and then the soft touch on the forearm.

The least flirtatious and romantic touches were the shoulder push, shoulder tap, and handshake. Thus, touching that is gentle and informal, and that occurs face-to-face or involves “hugging” behavior, appears to convey the most relational intent.

You gotta love science that points up a glaring disconnect between what turns on women in the real world (presumptuous touching) and what rabid feminist cunts shriek is evidence of an oppressive OMG RAPE!! culture as envisioned in the fever swamps of their twisted fantasies.

The effectiveness of flirting is somewhat context-dependent.

Behavior is perceived differently in different locations. The more formal the setting, the more obvious you need to be to get the signal across.

Via The Mating Game: A Primer on Love, Sex, and Marriage:

For each scenario, participants indicated whether they believed the stranger was flirting with them or not. The results revealed significantly higher percentages of “yes” (i.e., flirting) responses when the stranger was in the restaurant bar as opposed to the school hallway (61% vs. 49%)…

Daygame players take heed. You’ll have to amp your flirting level when hitting on girls during the daytime, outdoors. Otherwise, she might not take the hint.

Here’s some more juicy research which shows that, for men, their social dominance is more important than their looks when attracting a mate.

Research has shown that flirting which emphasizes physical attractiveness has little effect when males do it.

The flirting that is most effective for men involves displays of social dominance.

Via Close Relationships:

The results indicated that the men who successfully initiated romantic contact with women exhibited a greater number of particular kinds of nonverbal flirting behavior than men who did not establish romantic contact. Specifically, successful men directed more brief glances at their intended, engaged in a greater number of “space maximization” movements (positioning the body so that it takes up more space; e.g., extending one arm across an adjacent chair, stretching so that both arms extend straight up in the air), changed their location in the bar more frequently, and displayed greater amounts of non-reciprocated touching to surrounding men (e.g., playfully shoving, touching, or elbowing the ribs of other men).

In discussing their findings, the researchers concluded that men who provide signals of their positive intentions (e.g., through glancing behaviors) and their status (e.g., through space maximization and non-reciprocated touch of male peers) receive preferential attention from women.

Readers often ask, “How do you square the advice to communicate intention with the seemingly contradictory advice to appear disinterested?” Well, this is how. You demonstrate “active disinterest”. Bold players show intention, but they also signal their status through displays of dominance that are often proxies for communicating an attitude of outcome independence.

And how do you know if you’re spitting tight game?

How do you know if it’s working? When you start talking to her, ask yourself: “Is she speaking smoothly and quickly?”

Because MIT research says that’s a very good sign.

Fast talking is low status. A girl who is in the lower status position is a girl who is in thrall to your higher status male allure.

Beta males often complain that women never notice their interest. One reason might be because beta males really aren’t good at subcommunicating their sexual intention.

Researchers have documented a bias where people think they’re being clear about their intentions but, in reality, nobody but them thinks they’re flirting.

Via The Mating Game: A Primer on Love, Sex, and Marriage:

A more recent series of investigations by Vorauer and her colleagues (Vorauer, Cameron, Holmes, & Pearce, 2003) demonstrated that the fear of being rejected by a potential partner can produce yet another pernicious attributional bias.

The “signal amplification bias” occurs when people believe that their social overtures communicate more romantic interest to potential partners than is actually the case and thus fail to realize that they have not adequately conveyed their feelings of attraction.

You may need to amp it up, even if that makes you a bit uncomfortable.

Fear is the mindkiller. Fear of rejection is the lovekiller. Alpha males have less fear of rejection because they operate from a mentality of abundance, (“No worries, if I don’t get her, there are plenty more waiting for the pleasure of my company”). This abundance mentality is honed from years of experience dealing with women. Beta males, in sorry contrast, have less experience with women, and so each potential rejection in the field matters a lot more to them. They approach women with a scarcity mentality, and this results in an excessive concern for appearing “too forward”, lest the beta male provoke the wrath of his idolized object of deference. The alpha male doesn’t give a crap about provoking wrath; in fact, he welcomes it, as the cascading drama gives him an opportunity to display his sexy bona fides.

♥Science♥ has now proven the efficacy of Poon Commandment XIII: Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little. Beta males new to the game must first unlearn decades of bad habits by striving to be acutely aware of how poorly their tepid flirtations are received by women. To succeed, the beta male must commit himself to reaching beyond the comfy boundaries of his beta bubble. He has to be ready to provoke romantic rejection, and in the so doing will achieve, paradoxically, more love in his life.

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That Sinking Feeling

Stomach dropping. A pressing, radiating hollowing on the innerside of your solar plexus. Eyes widening to surprise-shaped orbs, drinking in threat. Face burning with bloodrush. Clammy hands, racing brain.

If you’ve ever lost a girl’s attention to another man, you know that feeling. It could be a first date who unexpectedly sing-songs an encomium about some guy who’s been on her mind, or a girlfriend you’ve started dating whose eyes dart around the room checking out other men as if you’re blind and can’t notice her distraction, or a more established girlfriend who betrays a wobbliness of the knees and a yearning in the voice when an ex-boyfriend joins your company.

You’re losing her, and that sinking feeling is your bioalert system letting you know she’s slip slip slippin away.

What do you do? When it happens, the advice from players with icy game in their veins is usually a variant of the following:

– Flirt with another girl. Act indifferent. You demonstrate high mate value by maintaining state control and refusing to get flustered by the imminent threat of another man or your woman’s emotional straying. Re-establish your attractiveness by signaling preselection from other women, and unlimited options which you threaten to act upon.

In other words, make her come back to you, like an iron filling to a magnet.*

This advice is given because it works. No doubt about that. But the problem is that certain conditions are needed for practical application of the advice. One, you need other single women around with whom to tactically flirt. Two, you have to be a borderline psychopath to be able to remain so coldly unaffected by the whirlwind of emotions emanating from your limbic engine room. That kind of eerily cold indifference to romantic outcome is either innate, or developed from years of profligate poon plunder.

Most regular guys don’t have years of poon plunder under their belts. And most of the time you’re out with a girl, there won’t be readily available single women within eyesight to welcome your counter-attack flirtations. You will be left with your date/girlfriend, her roaming eyes, and your sinking feeling, and that’s it. So, what now?

I’m about to give the best piece of advice you’ll ever hear on this subject. Advice that’s worked for me when I most needed it. Here it is. When you feel that sinking feeling:

Leave.

Don’t even tell her you’re going. Simply walk out. This is the best… BY FAR the best… method for maintaining your aloof indifference in the face of reproductive annihilation. Get away from the negative stimulus that is impossible for you to properly manage, and you won’t be there to announce your beta insecurity to the world. Leaving in a flash has a second benefit: It frightens your woman. It fills her with the fear that you might skip out on her for good, to cash your higher value mate chips in at a better paying table.

Now this won’t always work — she might stay behind and wind up making out with someone else; but if that happens, she was never close to being your woman, so you saved yourself wasted investment — but when it does work, it works like a MOAB. Plus, you get to enjoy the wonderful, if temporary, feeling of taking the manly initiative and salvaging your dignity.

In the latter scenario, she’ll come running out, sooner or later, maybe the next day, hurling invective, demanding explanation. This is not the time to express the pain of your romantic disappointment like a lovesick beta. Drive the id shiv in a little further, with a twist of ambivalence: “I felt like going. Do you want me to slap on a GPS monitor so you can track my whereabouts?”

Chaser-chasee roles… INVERTED.

Reward good behavior intermittently, punish bad behavior promptly.

Her company should now improve. But if it doesn’t you have the luxury of timing the release of your disappointment with her behavior during happy moments when she least expects your ire, and when your state control is set to Maximum Aloofness. There’s nothing so psychosocially exhilarating as catching a woman off-guard; it’s similar to how a curse is more effective when you lull your foe into complacence with calm rebuke and then drop the soulsmashing insult at the very end.

*Some players recommend calling a girl out when she mentally strays, sort of an agree & amplify of an unspoken context. For example, “Hey, eyes over here you crazy slut. At least wait until I’m gone before you throw yourself at another man.” CH does not agree with this strategy. It sounds workable on paper, but the reality is quite different; you’re more likely to come across butt-hurt than bemused.

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Scat Game

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Field Report: The Dushka And The Cougar

Reader BuenaVista apprises,

From the Field:

So, in WashDC there’s a fairly prominent meat market for the middle-aged and well-suited: the place lawyers, senators, TV talking heads, CEOs lobbyists go in their ill-fitting suits to hustle women. It’s called Cafe Milano. The dynamics are like any Beverly Hills cafe of similar stripe, only it’s DC: DC is Hollywood for ugly people. Young women from the age of 20 up through women pushing 50 are in this place. Later in the evening it often gets quite insane when all the working men go home and the place fills up with Middle Eastern men chasing shiksa tail.

This is where I went last night to experiment with the difference between “high energy” and laconic “low energy.” I had a date so I went half an hour early for my experiment.

I was the only guy in the place not wearing a tie or sport coat; I had on a flight jacket, black sweater, jeans, Guccis, no socks.

I’m not funny, when ad hoc, in most instances, unless “irony” counts as funny — and it usually doesn’t. So I resolved to just smile, speak up, raise my eyebrows, and engage — i.e., the opposite of laconic pilot leaning against bar waiting to be chosen. In the first five minutes I looked straight at the Russian girl serving a full bar and quickly entered a five-minute conversation about the merits of American rye, how long she’s been in the country, what she drinks at home, and how funny is this shit with all these fat guys hustling Georgetown girls.

That last part is your best game. Knocking the pretension of other men is a time-honored technique for raising your own value.

I would say I was looking directly at her, only smiling to punctuate, listening, querying, listening, commenting. The bar was busy but she talked to me. I would estimate that she is 25 years younger than I am. She served me and my eventual date well all night and slipped us a couple freebie bottles of sparkling mineral water.

The next person I spoke to was a 45 year-old in a Chanel suit, cheekbones like Charlotte Rampling, a German accent, and a firm bust and small waist that means: Yoga every single day. This was a divorcee of some apparent means. In the past I just leave these women alone and they either open me (life was better when a woman could ask for a light in a bar, at least it was better for introverted me) or I didn’t talk to them. I turned, smiled briefly, complimented her on her suit,

A good neg here would have been “That’s a nice power suit you’re wearing.”

asked her if she had just come from an event of some sort, smiled, queried, commented, smiled, queried. I asked her what she would like to drink and ordered her glass of wine for her from the Russian. She name-dropped her summer place, I’ve been there many times, which school her son attends, blah blah blah. I don’t think I have done something like that more than five times in my life. As *her* date entered and was coming to grab her, I slipped her my card and she gave me a look that, perhaps unrealistically, said, “I just might follow up on this.” I didn’t get her number because I didn’t have time once her lawyer/lobbyist/whatever showed up.

She’s 45 years old. The odds that she’ll follow up by taking the initiative and calling you are far better than if she were her 25 year old self. The fear of the Wall has a way of focusing minds and opening legs.

Question: is “high energy” reducible to: choosing to open, managing the rhythm of the conversation and keeping it moving moving moving with a focus on her her her, not slobbering all over her looks, treating her more like the au pair than the princess the au pair works for. I mean, I can do this. This is little different than opening a potential business contact, male or female, on a long flight someplace.

High energy means you lead the conversation and don’t give her a chance to frame the interaction to her liking. Well, it means that, among other meanings. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you “focus on her her her”. You can be high energy and just shooting the shit about anything.

Or is it really this: halfway through the evening another software ceo, very successful guy, very notorious for his harems and runins with the SEC, was holding court with his usual gaggle of staff and the groupies the ceo always has about. Then he stood up (he’s kind of a short guy with a plain face, but he’s worth $500mm) shouting about some shit I couldn’t understand and his group started roaring. I’m never doing this: I think he’s a buffoon, albeit one with a net worth I’ll likely never approach.

Half Billion CEO dude is already preselected. He DHVs just walking into a roomful of people who are familiar with the local business scene. A guy like him could go high or low energy, it wouldn’t matter. His army of lackeys at the ready to laugh at his dumb jokes is all the game he needs.

Or, if it requires R. Brand levels of realtime wit and invention, forget it. I will never attempt that.

Any comments appreciated.

(See, Ya Really, I do actually go out.)

Low energy isn’t the same as being a wallflower. High energy isn’t the same as being an interrogator. Either method, you’re interacting with the express purpose of pushing it toward a carnal conclusion. The difference is how much dead air or dud utterances you’re willing to risk. Low energy is sexy, but vulnerable to competing distractions. High energy is captivating, but vulnerable to self-sabotage. I’d say if you’re hitting on hired dushkas or wealthy cougars, go lower energy. You might even gain points for establishing a contrast between yourself and the cackling suck-ups slobbering Half Bil’s knob.

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The Sexiness Of Shallow Communication

There are two fault lines running through an otherwise generally cohesive mass of seduction literature. The first, and better known, is the long-simmering war between direct and indirect game proponents. (Smart players use both.) The second, less known, is the tension between those who advocate high energy game (aka social alpha) and those who believe low energy game (aka stoic alpha) produces the best results. (Again, smart players resort to both high and low energy as the circumstance demands.)

In archetypal terms, high energy game = Trent from Swingers, low energy game = John from Nine 1/2 Weeks.

Low energy game is CH’s preferred method of applied charisma, but high energy has its usefulness, particularly during those first few critical minutes of meeting when the needle on a woman’s attraction thermometer is still swinging wildly and waiting to settle on a hot or cold temperature reading.

Low energy game is:

Laconic.
Smooth.
Ambiguous.
Quippy.
Imperturbable.
Intense.
Unreactive.
Best suited for one-on-one.

High energy game is:

Effusive.
Excitable.
Sociable.
Loquaciously funny.
Aggressive.
Fun.
Proactive.
Best suited for crowds.

There’s a strong introvert/extrovert divergence here that maps closely with a man’s preferred pickup energy level. Introverts will be more comfortable with low energy game, extroverts with high energy. Energy level also varies intra-game; you’ll be higher energy at the outset and downshift to lower energy during the comfort, i.e. leather couch, stage.

However, I’ve known plenty of introverts who can tolerate, and even relish, “acting out”. The catch is that introverts socially exhaust themselves faster than do extroverts, and need a time-out to recharge. A short burst of energy is about all an introvert can muster before he begins turtling as the realization “hey, i’m the center of attention!” hits him. Introverts therefore should focus their unrenewable high energy firepower when it’s most needed: during the meet and entreat.

Some will argue that a man’s looks dictate to a degree the energy level that will most benefit him. I won’t get into that discussion for this post, but readers may engage in the comments. I’ve heard differing theories on the matter, and my real world observations don’t lend much support to one theory or the other. Broadly speaking, uglier men will need to be higher energy in the beginning of a pickup, in order to “cut through the noise”.

Energy level also influences your mode of verbal communication. A high energy man will necessarily speak a lot more words than will a low energy man. Astute readers will note that this apparently violates Poon Commandment V: adhere to the golden ratio of giving your woman 2/3s of everything she gives you, verbosity presumably included. But the Poon Commandments are better understood as lifelong guidelines rather than specific pickup tactics that apply to every situation one may encounter along his romantic journeys. There will be those times when it’ll be to your advantage to say more than the girl in your company.

Nevertheless, there’s no denying that, on the whole and in the general, women love men who aren’t blabbermouths. The more of your store you give away, the less she’ll want to browse your product line. Enigmatic men are alluring. Succinctness is sexy. Ambiguity is alpha.

On that point, a regular reader writes,

You can use shallow communication to get positive association principle benefits in your dating life and life in general.

If you ever meet a powerful person, like your CEO, they really don’t have much to say. “This is a nice day!” “The Blackhawks looked great last night.”

Ditto if you see press coverage of the Pope, Queen, or President working a crowd or rope line.

The reason is simple: more people want to talk to powerful people and powerful people need to budget their attention.

The more you invest in deep substantial conversation, the smaller the number of people you must have in your life and the less attractive you become.

A man with many women can’t know everything about them. Seeking to learn everything about her is going to work against you over time.

Making statements versus asking questions subcommunicates less desire to learn about her.

That’s probably the main failing of stalkers, and she’ll think you’re a stalker if you know everything about her, which is exactly the opposite of what she wants.

Shallow communication is alpha. Listen to alpha males banter: it’s almost all jokes and taunts and teases and sharp comebacks (when required). Then listen to beta males banter: droning, nerdy expositions on boring topics, receivers more often than givers of gibes, conspicuous inability to disengage from dying conversational threads, stilted speech in place of charming quips.

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a time and place when the alpha benefits from “deep” conversation with a girl. Women like when you ask about them, but only after some attraction has been sparked. Women also like when you open up about yourself, even if in a guarded way, when they’ve decided they want to know more about you. The comfort stage isn’t just some afterthought tacked onto the seduction process. It’s the meat and potatoes of pickup. If you don’t “connect” with a girl in a meaningful way, all you’ll have are a few laughs… and a dry dick.

All the points the reader made above are true, and most crucial when the dance of love is just spinning up. You hold your cards close at the start. You make statements more than you ask questions. You stick to superficial topics instead of delving deeply into your listener’s life and values. These behaviors are, undoubtedly, the hallmark of the alpha male.

But what if the girl doesn’t know you from Adam? You’ve just walked up to her, a stranger. Four-word vacant blurbs about the weather aren’t going to cut it. A chill, laconic, 007 pose over a martini glass is great if you’re already preselected as a man of interest. But if you’re the average guy without a license to thrill, you’ll need to do more than cock an eyebrow as the rim of your glass hits your lips. You’ll need to talk and, more often than not, talk a lot, if you want to engage a girl and get her invested in the outcome.

You square this circle by recognizing that shallow communication is not the same as terseness. You can talk your mouth off without really saying anything. “You girls look like you’re having the most fun here…” is an excellent prelude to a two-way exchange of ideated emotions, but it’s not exactly the stuff of profound thought. It is, however, high energy. If you watch Tyler Durden’s videos, he’s the classic example of a high energy player whose communication during the attraction stage is almost entirely substance-free. He rarely uses any “getting to know her” tropes. “Getting to know her” is the feeble strategy of earnest betatude.

If low energy game is more to your liking, you’ll need to locate venues where one-on-one sit-downs are possible. Any of the usual pickup spots are more favorable to low energy game on weekdays than weekends. Target events that cater to girls who don’t grok the club scene. If you can’t find it in you to amp up your energy level, then daytime game will feel more right to you, where crowd-owning court-holding isn’t a prerequisite for love. Finally, work on your bounce and isolation techniques. The sooner you can move a girl away from a busy social scene to a quieter, secluded pre-bone zone, the sooner you can switch to your preferred low-key, smirk-inflected, laconic cad game.

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Reader Mailbag: Say My Name Game

A reader promised to donate if his game-related question was answered. That’s one way to perk the overlord’s ears.

I’ve returned with another question.  If you answer it, I’ll donate $50 to your site.

Partly perked.

My preferred game is day game.  While day-game master Krausser seems to hit up touristy/shopping areas for his work, I live in a city with a large college campus and use that.  There are ample young hot women here, but I feel it’s a difficult to get the same-day dates/f-closes because I’m hitting on many of them between classes.

Therefore, I can accumulate tons of numbers during the day and often leave the girls with a warm feeling because of my charisma and bold charm.

Before the coolstorybro.txt crowd chimes in, remember that chicks dig overconfident men. So let’s at least give this guy points for lying with good intentions.

And while I can escalate some of these numbers to dates via text, there’s one test I’ve had difficulty surpassing: girls who demand my last name before going out.  I understand that girls are programmed to try to disqualify men, and I see this is an attempt to do so by using my full name to stalk me on the internet for disqualification material.  Unfortunately, a simple search of my name will bring up that I worked for a company that many women may view as a disqualifier.

RSD? RNC? Brothel? Center for Immigration Studies? PornTube? Animal testing lab? Men’s Rights Advocacy Group? Rockstar Games? The Church?

The tactics I’ve used previously are telling them I’ll give it to them when I see them on the date, which I’ve noticed sounds sketchy in their minds, and calling them out as being “creepy stalkers.”

It’s not so much that it sounds creepy, but that it sounds like a lame ruse to get the girl to go out on a date. Although it does sound creepy, too. But then not any creepier than it sounds to ask a man she just met for his last name.

Your feedback would be appreciated.  Posted below is a recent example of such an interaction with a girl who demonstrated interest, but I couldn’t hit because of the last name game.

Her: “What’s your last name?”

Me: “Trying to stalk me”

This tactic is well and good, and can serve in a pinch, but nowadays chicks are so freaking socially awkward and guarded that implicit disqualifications don’t even cut the mustard. By socially awkward, I mean it’s just downright weird and borderline aggressive to ask a guy his last name before the sound waves from the “hello” have dissipated. She may as well ask for his college transcript while she’s at it.

A better reply would pursue that theme of her social awkwardness:

Her: “What’s your last name?”

You: “You were raised in a barn, weren’t you?”

Tingles are birthed in the defensive crouch, so you should have replies at the ready which force her to account for her weird behavior. If you’re wondering why calling a girl a stalker isn’t as effective a counter-measure as taking a dump on her social graces, know that in the state of nature men are more prone to the destructive kind of stalker behavior than are women. Therefore, hitting that “casual stalker” angle against a hard-nosed bitch won’t rattle her as much as docking her points for speaking like a low class Walmartian. You’ve got to find your foe’s thermal exhaust port if you want to leave an impression that lasts.

Her: “Just answer my question ;)”

You didn’t say if this was a text-based or a face-to-face convo? No matter, the vibe is the same: cunty. You really should take the gloves off when you’re dealing with a woman who asks direct, probing questions in an aggressive male-like manner. Women with this bad habit act like this because they’ve been burned by cad lovers and are therefore emotional basketcases and likely candidates to have cluster B personality disorder, or they have manjaws that can carve ice statues and clits that can double as laparoscopes. Luckily, most chicks aren’t like this. Was she a lawyer, by any chance?

Me: “I’ll tell you tomorrow when I see you ;)”

I get what you’re doing here, but the Assume The Sale redirect won’t work on a bitch in full bitch mode. You’re gonna have to go mano-a-womano. She doesn’t sound flirty, she sounds combative.  Being flirty in response won’t defuse an aggro combatgrrl. You need to fire a bunker buster at her hardened perimeter defense.

Her: “Sorry that’s not happening. You randomly walk up to me but won’t tell me who you are.  I don’t play that way”

Giveaway. She’s played that way; that’s why she feels a pressing need to tell some random guy she just met that she doesn’t play that way. She definitely has a past littered with the detritus of assholes who burned her good and hot. You’re just getting caught in her delayed return fire.

Me: “That’s cool.  I like human interaction.  Not looking for more internet stalkers”

You bowed out here. It was a respectable bow-out that certainly did no harm to your dignity. There was an opportunity to keep this thing going, but it would have required a bolder move. Suggestion:

You: [lie] “My name is von Robespierre. Now… say my name.”

The bitch comes off like a M1 tankskank. A load of double buckshot asshole game to her face is just the systems crash she needs.

Her: “I’m about to go out with you.  Do you even go here?”

This blurb of hers seems out of place in the context of the conversation you have posted so far. Is it a typo?

More internet stalkers?  I’m sorry but I’m a girl and I have to be careful. I like human interaction too but it’s only fair I know more about a random person. I need to know I’m not about to be stalked by some complete stranger who won’t tell me anything about himself”

She won’t flirt, she talks like a corporate mission statement, she’s got a single-minded focus on a (for now) unimportant personal detail about you, and she co-opted your stalker accusation and used it against you. Conclusion: No Fun Girl With Issues. Abort Mission.

(Alternate conclusion: You’re trolling the CH readership. In which case you get points for leading us on until the end of the post. Cocktease!)

I’m surprised you hung in this long. She must be eminently boffable, that is, until she opens her mouth. If she’s still an option, try the suggestions above. Better yet, don’t reply at all. Leave her huffing hamster fumes, wondering why you won’t come out and play her idiotic game of cuntupsmanship.

On a less glib note, you might want to work on your attraction game. If girls are routinely responding to you in this interrogative fashion within seconds of approaching them, you’re probably acting weirdly and pinging their shady character radar. A mysterious charming cad identity is great until you overdo it and set off alarm bells. This is why low energy, aloof alpha game is sometimes less effective in the beginning stage of a pickup with a random girl; that low energy is more apt to be misconstrued by a girl who has never met you as the deliberate affect of someone who doesn’t have much to say otherwise, (or who has to stay silent because he’s a subpar conversationalist).

Day game and street game are especially sensitive to the downsides of mysterious cool cat posturing, because a cold daytime approach 1. is inherently more discombobulating to women than would be nighttime approaches in expected places, like bars, and 2. requires greater verbal investment to capture and hold the woman’s attention. You aren’t sitting on a couch in a hip lounge, beckoning tipsy girls with your curled finger; you’re walking up to them on the street sober as a reformed minister and taking them out of their mindless daily rhythms. The dark, brooding stranger with a mysterious past act isn’t going to fly in that environment. It’s plausible that a condition of this sort of approach is that you be ready for probing questions from girls wondering who you are and why you’re bold enough to hit on them in the broad daylight when every other man has their eyeballs glued to an iPhone.

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