The Revealed Preferences Of Drunk Girls

Sometimes the most obvious facts of female nature and human social dynamics elude open discussion for an unusually long time. A reader writes to make a point that qualifies as one of those obvious facts:

Number one sign you’ll have a problem with a girl.

I crossed the rubicon a few years back when I felt I could expect some measure of success with eligible women. It felt great, but I always looked back and tried to identify mistakes so I could do better the next time. That said, even when the same thing happens over and over again, you might not see a trend until your sample size gets so big that the obvious hits you in the head with a brick.

I have a great piece of advice for any man, regarding his casual fling, girlfriend, or wife…she must like you as much, if not more, when she’s drunk than she does when she’s sober.

Some of that is obvious (taking her to a bar and then she goes home with another guy) but others are subtle (such as not getting texts or calls answered between 10pm and 1am on the weekend). Drinking loosens inhibitions and our drunk behavior is more consistent with our true feelings than our sober behavior.

As a matter of fact, you might want to meet all of your girls when they’re drunk, since a drunk girl liking you (which is emotional and more likely to be alpha) is a stronger signal than a sober girl liking you (which is logical and more likely to be beta).

When you get your girl drunk, you’re not doing it because it will make sex easier, you’re doing it because it might make sex harder. It’s a shit test. And if getting her drunk makes sex harder, you’re fucked.

Alcohol is truth serum, and a drunk girl will reveal her true desires faster and more boldly than a sober girl who has mental checkpoints, border guards and lockdown procedures in place to dupe provider beta males about the nature of women’s sexuality that is unleashed in limbic lands just beyond his ken.

In my experience, the reader is correct; drunkenness permits the woman’s id full expression. It skips joyously, drinking deep the fresh air, swinging its unchained fists wildly, exuberant and unstoppable. It would be a mistake to think her drunken id is less discriminating than her sober id. It isn’t. The drunken female id is more discriminating — but less deceptive and obfuscating — than her sober id. When she is sober, her forebrain exerts some sensible control over her animal lusts.

And this applies to relationship dynamics as much as pick-up scenarios at bars. Anyone who’s been in a normal (i.e., non-Mormon) relationship with a woman for more than a couple months has seen her drunk or at least tipsy. When she’s in this liquor-lubed confessional state, you can catch a glimpse of her raw sexuality, stripped of game-playing, calculating coyness and psychological feints with her long-term advantage in mind. What do you see? Does she jump into your arms, mashing her appletini-breath into your face, groping feverishly at your crotch and begging for exquisite deliverance on your godhead?

Or does she act cold and distant through the fog of her inebriation, snipe at you for imaginary infractions, and loudly reminisce about a long-forgotten (you thought) ex-boyfriend? Worse, does she late night text mystery “friends” as she’s pushing your inquisitive hornypaws away from her thigh?

Drunkenness is an emotion-based honesty signal that bypasses logic circuits. Drunkenness reveals women’s desire for alpha males. Sobriety reveals women’s ability to conceal their desire for alpha males. If your drunk girlfriend seems more eager for sex, chances are good your relationship is healthy. She loves you in the way that can’t be faked. If your drunk girlfriend is an insufferable ice queen, chances are good your relationship is heading for the rocks. She subconsciously despises you in the way a bored housewife despises her unsexy husband one week every month.

Why is is better to be viscerally loved than affectionately duped? Because the man who is viscerally desired always has the option to inspire tender long-term focused affection from his lover. The provider beta who is affectionately duped has no option, other than game, to inspire visceral desire in his lover. It’s much easier to guide a woman from alpha male-inspired lust to beta-male inspired serenity than it is to guide her from the opposite direction.

Contra feminist assertions that drunk women are more easily taken advantage of, it’s actually the case that drunk women are easier targets for alpha males, but harder targets for beta males, who, lettuce be cereal, comprise 60% of the male population who aren’t alpha or omega males. As per usual, feminists and their manboob human chastity belts lump in alpha males with beta and omega males and incorrectly assume that the poosy paradise that alpha males enjoy is enjoyed by all men.

So if you can take a drunk girl home and bang her, hold your head proudly high, because you have just been certified a Sexy Alpha Male™ in the only way that matters.

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Microalphatudes

It’s the little things that matter. The difference between projecting a benign beta maleness or an alluring alpha aura can turn on a cocked eyebrow, a shift in body weight, an expression (or withheld expression), or a selfish microaggression. For an example of the subtlety in mannerism that typifies the alpha male, check out this video of a man refusing his girlfriend’s demands for a taste of his delicious ice cream.

She reaches over and tries to sneak a spoonful of ice cream.
He moves his ice cream away and her spoon comes up nothing but air.
She makes a face. He doesn’t even look at her. His focus is on the game.
She regroups and makes another charge at his ice cream. Again her spoon scoops air.
Again, he doesn’t look at her as he evades her self-entitled spooning. Doesn’t smile, doesn’t frown. Stone-faced, with maybe, if you look closely, just a hint of a nascent smirk.
Now she’s got that “Whoa, I can’t believe you’re doing this to MEEEE. I’m a GIRL, remember?!” face.
She is turned on. Her O-face is a manifestation of her tingling, opening orifice.
Finally, he looks at her for a half second, and relents. He lets her have a spoonful. But he “surrenders” his ice cream in the most condescendingly possible way: he looks away from her and lets the cone dangle in her general direction. The whole maneuver screams “Here ya go, ya little brat. Happy now?”
He has had his fun. And, so has she. Their relationship is healthy and fulfilling, and will be as long-lived as he decides he wants it to be.

Now how would a beta male have handled this minor sex market opera? Like this:

She reaches over to take a spoonful of his ice cream.
He accidentally pulls the ice cream away from her as she’s reaching in.
She makes the “Are you kidding me?” B-face. (The B-face differs from the O-face in that the mouth does not form a nice round O. Instead, it purses into the shape of a bitch.)
He notices her aggravation, immediately assumes the whimpering pussboy look, and makes it easier for her to scoop a chunk, apologizing profusely as he watches her down the last ounce of his treat.
He then asks if she would like her own ice cream, even though he knows that when he offered to buy her an ice cream earlier she said no, and that she just wanted to taste his ice cream because it was his, and she thinks eating his ice cream instead of eating her own ice cream means she’s not actually ingesting the calories and putting on weight.
She smiles sweetly, and says no. But her eyes are on some other dude sitting three rows away.
He looks at his empty cone, and sees that she even sucked out the little pool of melted ice cream from the bottom. He is sad.

Commenter YaReally astutely notes that this short video clip can teach a beta shlub more about male-female interaction than one thousand mainstream media “relationship” articles.

Dude is a boss. That interaction has like a dozen little dynamics going on in their facial expressions and body-language. You can tell everything about their relationship and his alpha value from this like 10 second clip.

Beta guys with no game will think he was a jerk and got in trouble when he got home and he should buy her ice cream and apologize.

Red Pill guys know exactly how that guy’s night went. Lol […]

The 2nd pause they do, that facial expression and body language of like “bitch you HEARD me. Did you think I was joking?” is the one that you want to give when you tell a girl not to do something and she does it anyway to shit-test you.

Love this clip, and I like that the announcer guys are focused entirely on her reactions and how she feels and how much trouble guy “know” they’re in when their woman looks at them like that etc. it’s a good demonstration of how socially conditioned brainwashing has most of the guys in society reacting to women and worried about appeasing women and not being “in the doghouse”. It wouldn’t even occur to them that that guy could have the mentality of “you said you didn’t want ice cream when I offered so too bad. Next time don’t be retarded. Okay you can have a bit now that you’ve learned your lesson.”

It’s like watching a really small minor Soft Next in action. Beautiful.

Yes, beautiful. Even better to orchestrate this powerful game for oneself.

These minor demonstrations of higher male value that so thrill and enrapture women are what I call “microalphatudes”. The alpha male doesn’t bop his women over the head with a club. He just… jerks his ice cream away from her, and amuses himself with her predictable reaction of adorable indignation.

You think this is stupid. It’s just ice cream. You don’t get it. It’s about so much more than ice cream. All these alpha moments will add up in time… like tingles in rain… and she will love you for them. You build yourself into the man women love by carving out these fleeting moments, sculpting them and guiding them to your whim, inspiring stronger feelings and stronger memories.

Tease, taunt and play her
don’t ever obey her
Play, taunt and tease her
don’t ever appease her

Five instances of microalphatudes beats five years of boring beta obeisance.

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The Unique Challenge Of Entitlement Whores (And The Four Types Of Girl Texts)

There’s no question modern American women are experiencing a mass delusion of unwarranted high self-esteem, attention whoring syndrome, and entitlement. The relevance for the inveterate player who must wade through this American Woman… Fuck Yeah! muck is, “How do I handle the entitlement complexes of girls gone egotastically wild?”.

Glad you asked! For most of you, the first signs that you are dealing with an entitlement whore will be the text-based shit test, aka the “shit text”. Why will this be the first sign? Because a lot of girls who cannot adequately project their fantastic degree of entitlement under pressure in face-to-face interaction will find the nerve and the creative juice to stroke their egos later in the carefully crafted follow-up text.

A perfect example of this is explained below, in an RSD video featuring a PUA named Todd. Normally, these CH posts that reference various industry leaders in pick-up cause the comments section to erupt in nerdy internecine player war, which drives away better commenters. Therefore, it would do all of us a world of good if everyone so disposed would kindly refrain from polluting the comments with the drama of family squabbles. Leave that sort of stuff for the ladies.

Watch the first video here. It’s good. (The second video dealing with the mentality of abundance is worthwhile as well.)

If you get a shit text, you’re on the right track. As Todd correctly notes, any response is a positive indication of interest. (“Fuck off” might be an exception to this rule.)

At 4:09, you will hear what is probably the most well-known (and well-hated) entitlement whore shit text.

“Can you keep me from getting bored?”

Now before you listen to the video any further, try to figure out how you would reply if you received the above shit text from a girl. Take a few minutes if need be.

Got something in mind? Ok, now let’s hear how Todd replied.

“No.”

He waits a little while, then:

“Actually, yes I can. But if you can’t keep yourself entertained we’re not going to get along anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

Personally, I would have stopped at “No.”, but the extended version is just as good. You’ll note in Todd’s second reply that he has essentially disqualified the girl as a potential date if she doesn’t step up and improve her attitude. The lesson here should be obvious: Don’t dance to an entitlement whore’s tune. Throw it back in her face. Demand that she entertain you. Deny her the satisfaction of your approval seeking behavior. Remind her in not so subtle terms that the question isn’t how much value you add to her life, but how much value she adds to yours.

In short, challenge her. Chicks dig men who make them work for the wang.

The CH archives are filled with excellent examples of alpha male text game, so peruse at your leisure. More good replies to the above shit text would be:

– “Sure! How does juggling chainsaws and reciting Shakespeare from memory sound? Will that do the trick?” [Agree and amplify]

(And then when she responds to that, you say, “Wow just wow, you’re easily amused.”)

– “Just how empty is your life?” [Direct challenge]

– “No problem. I’ve got a few pop-up children’s books in the attic.” [Funny insult. Will work better on harsh tankgrrls.]

– “I can do magic tricks. I’ll make your ego disappear.”

– “that’s what netflix is for.”

– “does this work on most men?”

And the infamously unpunctuated fan favorite,

– “gay”

The important point is not the exact wording of your reply. It’s the attitude that is epitomized by the reply. Any of those replies above work, because they are infused with the proper aloof and carefree alpha male attitude.

You want to know what replies without the alpha attitude look like?

– “I’ll try.”

– “Well, there’s this really cool gallery I can take you to.”

– “Give me a chance and get to know me. I think you’ll be impressed.”

– “We have to go on a date first and find out.”

– “I love you!”

How do you imagine a hot chick who thinks the solar system is vagiocentric will respond to replies like that? That’s right… radio silence. Tingle Flux Capacitor: Deactivated.

As Todd stated, you pass the shit test first, and then you can proceed to moving the girl toward a date. Your frame of mind should be, “What a dork she is”, not “How do I answer the right way so that we can meet up asap and I can get laid?” In other words, like an alpha male, you LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

The video is worth watching in full. Todd hits on the four archetypical text responses you will get from a girl:

1. The shit text

Handling discussed above.

2. The logical question

This is the normal, shy girl reponse. She likes you, but isn’t witty or conceited enough to pull off the shit text. Key here is to avoid entrapment in a logic loop. The conversation will quickly go dry if you take her logical questions seriously. Answer playfully, and quickly guide the conversation to more fruitful topics. You have to show a little personality here, because she won’t do it for you.

3. The overt compliment

AKA beta bait. Whatever you do, don’t chomp down! You will have smoked yourself out as a desperate, undersexed beta eager to lap up her flattery and promises of sexytime. Avoid getting caught up in a volley of innuendo and double entendres. Just calmly offer a place and time to meet. Save the routine-breaking sexy texts for girls you are already fucking.

4. Silence

The worst response. She either doesn’t remember you or isn’t interested. Possibly, though, she just isn’t interested enough. Better still, she might be dating around so much that she lost track of you. Todd recommends sending “value offering” messages, and to keep them “fun and flippant”. Since you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, it makes sense to offer some value — an expectation of good times, excitement injected into to her dull life — to a girl who’s investment in you is near zero. In a way, this is a form of “chick bait”. If you seem like a fun guy different from all the rest, it’s the rare girl who can resist your lure. This is because most girls are not interesting in themselves, and require the company of interesting men to spice up their lives with newness and novelty.

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The Wrong Way To Get Out Of The Friendzone

For those men who think they can talk their way out of the friendzone and into the poosy zone, here’s a cautionary reminder from a reader who let it all hang out with a girl who had only known him as a lovable, asexual emotional whore:

I attempted to get out the friendzone and admitted my feelings to my friend. She has been busy addressing personal issues i.e. things “not going her way” or “bad stuff happening all at once.” She has reminded on two occasions via text that she wants to talk and “has not forgotten about me.” In the back of my head I have accepted I will most likely be rejected. To add insult to injury, I know, through mutual friends, she has been entertaining out of town girlfriends and attended a couple of social gatherings (i.e. dinner and a pool party).

When she does decide to talk how do I react? Do I “punish” her for ignoring me? If so, how do I play that card? Or is there an alternative?

Getting out of the friendzone is no easy task, especially if you have never been anything to the girl but a friend with advanced commiseration ability. Many men can tolerate only so much denial of their sexual needs by oblivious girls using them for emotional bonding before the breaking point is reached whereupon the man foolishly decides bracing candor is an effective course of action to turn that girl buddy into a passionate lover.

It never is. Admitting your feelings to a girl buddy is an extinction level fail that will harden her disgust at the thought of you as a sexual partner. If you have a hard time fathoming the fail here, imagine a morbidly obese woman who has been a friend of yours for years suddenly shoving her bratwurst tongue down your throat in a moment of unrestrained lust.

Failure #2: Not recognizing female hamster rationalizations as evidence of discomfort with your desire. When a girl says “Bad stuff is happening all at once”, or “I need some time to myself”, what she is really saying is “Bad stuff with you is happening all at once” and “I need some time with a sexy alpha male.” She’s pushing away from you, my friend. You aren’t just failing to make her attracted to you, you’re actually making things worse.

Failure #3: Thinking you can still win her over. When you have gone too far down the path of sackless betatude, almost anything you do will enhance her status and diminish yours. You care too much, and she knows that. A man who cares is a man who is denied love. Your efforts, such as they are, will only be perceived by her as confirmation of your poor mate quality.

The way to play this game is to act like you aren’t playing at all. First, get it out of your head that she nurses a lingering attraction for you. She despises you. Nothing but pity and contempt for you lingers in her head. She will not ever “see the light and come around”. Second, don’t make the mistake of thinking a calculated reversal of your emotional availability is the antidote to her lack of attraction. You cannot shift your behavior on a dime and expect there to be no blowback. If you become cold and distant, she will simply assume you are butthurt by her rejection of you.

“When she does decide to talk how do I react?”

Bad frame. She isn’t going to decide to talk to you, and your job in life isn’t to react to whatever awesome nonsense spills from her lips. How about this better frame: “If I decide to talk to her it will be because I’m bored.”

“Do I “punish” her for ignoring me?”

She is nothing of importance to you. Why would you punish a nothing for acting like a nothing? If she contacts you, treat her like you would any insignificant entity in your life: neutrally, until she proves otherwise by behaving either pleasantly or condescendingly.

“If so, how do I play that card?”

Let’s say she calls or texts you, “Hey, what’s up! I told you I haven’t forgotten about you, my bestest guy friend in the whole world!” Are you supposed to grovel to this? Show gratitude for bestowing you with her attention? Punish her for ignoring you? Get hysterical with loving pleas for deeper intimacy? Go ahead, do any of that. And then hear how quickly the conversation goes south. No, the way to play this card is with AMUSED MASTERY. What a funny bird to be talking like this to you, as if you’ve been breathlessly anticipating her call for weeks! She is so weird. And a little stalkerish. You are amused by women’s hyperbolic drama when you know what uneventful lives they really lead. You reply, “Wow, you’re weird. Thinking about me the whole time?”

“Or is there an alternative?”

You are the friend, and she is in your friendzone. You are the alpha male, and she is a contestant for a slot in your harem. You are the doer, the creator, the lover, and she is the appreciator of your masculine vitality, the very vitality that women everywhere secretly envy and wish for themselves. That means, she exists to entertain you. She will enjoy your time when you have time to spare. She is your toy, not the other way around.

Remember this. Now you have inner game. You have the attitude. The attitude will infuse your arteries like rivulets of mutant DNA, transforming you from needy beta to alluring alpha. She’s a strange duck, so full of herself, but you’ll play along. You like to have fun. So you tease her. And you taunt her. And you dismiss her when she tries to angle you as the eunuch lump she used to dump all her gripes on. “So let me tell you about this guy who…” Sssshhhh… be quiet, socially awkward attention whore penguin. Did you know you have funny looking feet? What’s that? Still blabbering about this other guy? Thanks for the medical update on the condition of your vagina. So hot, so attractive. No wonder you’re still single.

Do you see, reader? Have you been darkly enlightened? Then go forth, and recreate. And return here when you have something uplifting to tell us all.

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Alpha Male Power Moves

Making people wait

Show up late. The King does not wait patiently for guests to arrive. The King arrives for meet and greets when guests are assembled in breathless awe. Principle applies equally to throne rooms and bar rooms. Arrivals, replies to questions, decisions to consensus building exercises, request fulfillments — all should be delayed to the point of provoking discomfort in others, but not beyond. People naturally assume the higher status of those who don’t jump when asked.

Not laughing at jokes

The King is not amused. And he is hard to amuse. The King does not suffer unfunny boobs gladly. The King does not care about fortifying social cohesion with insincerity, so he will stare at you expressionless if your joke bombs. He will not fake laugh to make you feel at ease. He will not laugh uproariously if you are a hot girl making a lame joke. You will feel uncomfortable, and this is why you will try harder to impress the King. The King knows this. He luxuriates in your appeasement.

Staring past people

You talk to the King? Impudent plebe! The King hears you, but his attention is elsewhere. Past you. Over you. Through you. Your entreaties are puffery to the King, because he has heard it all before. Your cleverness is dulled. Your insight is clouded. Your conversation is trite. And yet, somehow, despite all evidence to the contrary, the King answers you as if he had been listening intently the whole time. You feel relieved. You like this feeling, so you set about to win the King’s approval again. And again. And again.

Cutting people off

You talk and talk. The King has a thought of his own. It could be a grand thought, or a trivial musing. It doesn’t matter, because it is the King’s thought, and that means the King will cut you off mid-sentence to regale the masses with his wit and wisdom. His voice commands, his self-confidence refuses impugning, his happy entitlement woos crowds. Even you, cast aside and set adrift, find strange succor in the King’s heady leadership.

Disappointing people

The King has so many matters he must tend to. People need and want the King. His presence — nay, his blessing! — is requested at board meetings, parties, events and bedrooms. The King’s plate is full. It is always full. And this fact makes the King smug, even resentful. The King likes to disappoint people. Or, more precisely, he cares not for pleasing people. He knows scarcity is part of the appeal of his brand of authority. His subjects will wait on him, and he will sometimes not show up. And those subjects will be sad. So sad, in fact, that the next time the King *does* show up, their joy will be overflowing.

***

You may think these are dickish moves. You would be right! But the alpha cuts his teeth on dickishness. There is no alpha male who is not, at times, dickish. It comes with the territory. And since dickishness is a territorial aspect of alpha maleness, those who mimic it are presumed alpha themselves. And that, my budding alphas, is how you win pussy and influence people.

Alpha Male Power Moves will be a continuing series. Lord knows the incredible shrinking American Beta Male needs the lessons.

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How To Keep A Stripper Enamored Of You

A reader asks,

Hey there, thanks for your wisdom, was a self deluded beta, and since I took the red pill been trying and getting to fake an alphatude. Just gamed 2 strippers, slept with both, one got jelous, but now I am sleeping with a very hot stripper, I think Im doing ok, but how do I treat her to keep me on her head and ruin her for other guys? Im still dating other women, but I want to keep this one, she is a very high 8 maybe a 9.

so in other words how can I keep laying this girl for a long time?

Treat her like absolute garbage. Serious, yo. I’ve yet to meet or hear of a stripper who did not keep coming back to a certified asshole for more of his special lessons in love. Personally, I have treated strippers I was fucking with more disdain and cruelty than any other woman… and they were hooked.

Consider strippers to represent the far right tail of a bell curve of women distributed by the strength of their desire for assholes, jerks and douchebags. At the far left, you have your good Christian girls with low sex drives, low impulsivity, and an inordinate fear of dying alone, childless. These women will occasionally tingle when they watch Edward get all broody in a Twilight movie, but in real life they will stick with their plush beta providers and relieve their itch for edgier guys in pulp romance novels aka female porn.

In the middle, you have most women. They like their moments of tender intimacy punctuated with Discovery Channel sex, have dated a number of badboys, have rejected a number of niceguys, like to be lied to, have had their hearts broken by men they still love, pine for that musician who always showed up late to dates and once “forgot” to invite her to his after show party, have had multiple roaring orgasms with men who told them to shut the fuck up, once caught a lover they thought “was the one” in flagrante delicto, and sort of like it when a guy doesn’t answer their texts right away, but at the end of the day (and near the end of their prime fertility years) they will settle down with a caring, dependable beta provider who remembers birthdays and anniversaries and then pop out a couple of kids with him. 1% of the kids will not be the beta’s.

At the right side of the asshole-loving curve, you find your girls who get off on being psychologically tormented by aloof men who are always one foot in, one foot out in any relationship. These are the girls who actually *seek out* the idiosyncratic charms of assholes and deadbeats and cheaters, and who, in fact, will quickly get bored with men who aren’t sufficiently dismissive of them. Niceguys have no chance with these girls. Many of these women — 20-30% of the total eligible female population — have daddy issues or a history of dating assholes or a penchant for wildly swinging from one alpha male to the next, but there are plenty of exceptions. For instance, I once had a fling with a stripper who lived with her married parents in apparent familial harmony. They often made her lunches to take to “work”, (although I doubted she told them what line of work she was in).

The further right on the curve you go, the more abuse the women crave, culminating in those women who secretly get off being hit by their lovers, and always race back to them for post-beatdown sex. In this dreadfully toxic pool swim your Rihannas and that chick who married the killer of her twin sister.

And waaaaay out there on the right tail is that stripper you, dear reader, are trying to keep around for the long haul.

Good luck!

But I can see why you have asked for help. Chewy, Pillsbury herblings with frump wives comfortably wrapped in the security blankets of boring marriages will balk, but the hottest babes are disproportionately found at the right tail of the asshole-loving curve. This is why learning the Way of the Jerk is a life path most men who have been shown the light strive to follow.

If you were to superimpose the female asshole-loving curve on the male crazy chick-loving curve, you would find that the female curve sits well to the right of the male curve. Or, men are less interested in dating the analogue of the asshole that women love. What men *are* interested in dating are hot chicks, and, regrettably, many of those hot chicks are just the kinds of women who swoon for JERKBOY CHARISMA.

Back to your quandary.

First, you are doing things right by your stripper girl. Dating two strippers at once is just the sort of drama they need to keep feeling that lovin’ feeling. It’s practically an asshole badge stitched to your jacket that says “Vaginas may now open for business”.

Second, forget about keeping this girl for the long haul. The moment you act like you’re trying to keep her around, she will lose interest and fly the coop. If you keep her on tenterhooks, in a constant state of dread, and only very VERY rarely hit her up with some beta reassurance game (“Here ya go, babe, you’ve had a tough week, so I got you this cheese stick”), you have a shot to enjoy her ripe but strangely discolored fruit for a couple of years that thousands of other men have seen. Or until she ODs.

Third, beware any stinky beta bait she will toss at you. Strippers have exquisitely fine-tuned senses for the slightest whiff of betatude. If you cave, even a little, she’s gone. Strippers will do things like ask you to light a cig for them, and if you comply, she’s eyeing up the dude across the room. They will try to dump their problems on you (and strippers have a lot of problems), but all it will take is one minute of indulging her whining and she’ll have an excuse to bail on your next night together faster than you can say “Shit, I shoulda told her to shut the fuck up instead”.

Fourth, supply her. Got blow? Then you got stripper blowing you for as long as your supply is steady.

Fifth, mark your calendar. If you can keep a stripper in your orbit for a year, it’s time to update your strategy. Strippers rarely last in relationships longer than a couple of years. Most stripper “relationships” are kaput after a few months. They also date mostly beady-eyed, beetle-browed assholes or the manager of their club. Because of this, many strippers subconsciously desire, after enough time getting burned by sexy thugs, a bit of the old beta provider comfort food. If you have strung her along for a year, consider doing something nice for her. Now don’t go crazy! A simple favor to drive her home from work, or a small purchase such as a T-shirt which displays the terraced outline of her fake tits, or perhaps a home-cooked meal of mac and cheese, are all it takes to warm the shriveled, dark heart pumping life to her glorious orifice.

Sixth, be Ok with her line of work. Don’t try to “rescue” strippers. It never works. They don’t want to be rescued. If you try, she will misconstrue that as a desire for a deeper, more loving, more committed relationship, and she will run. So if the thought of greasy men ogling your lover’s vagina hole gives you the willies, I suggest you go to book clubs to meet girls.

I hope this helps. Ideally, you would bang the shit out of a parade of hot strippers until they have hit the wall (age 25), leaving them used up husks of former human females, and then settle down in domestic bliss with a good girl who never had a monster bug STD or popped her tittie out for a random dude to admire. Then you have a solid, tight, swole marriage to a loyal wife PLUS great stories to tell your sons and grandsons. That’s the plan, anyhow.

You’ll notice that the graph only includes girls aged 18 to 30. There’s a reason for this. Most women older than 30 have lost their taste for assholes. They still tingle for them, but they don’t go batshit insane for their attentions, and they start to feel a strong need for betaboys and their gentle, cotton swab comfortableness. Part of this change in attitude is introspection brought on by the approaching wall; a single woman of maturity doesn’t have time to waste on assholes who are likely to love her and leave her. Partly it’s brought on by her own cratering SMV; assholes have more options in the sexual market and they typically cash in for younger, hotter, tighter lovers. You might say that an older woman’s assertions that she no longer cares for jerks is akin to a sour grape fruit salad rapidly spoiling.

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Chick Crack

Chick crack is slang for communication techniques or conversational topics which provoke emotional responses. Women breathe, crap and piss emotions, and they love men who can incite latent passions and take them on journeys to lands far from logic or restraint. For this reason, chick crack is a critical part of game, particularly the attraction stage. The man who can summon a woman’s weepy, giggly Kraken rules the seas of snatch with an iron trident.

The CH archives are filled with examples of chick crack, but trawling it could take days. Helpfully, YaReally provides a succinct list of the primary chick crack formulations:

Try Cold-reads, roleplaying, misinterpreting what she says in a sexual way, and qualifying her (these things all take her on an emotional journey).

Listen to this Mp3 from 44:20 and on where he describes examples of story-telling, cold-reading, roleplaying and misinterpreting:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/realsocialdynamics.com_audio.mp3

Go to Page 48 of this PDF and read the section on Chick Crack:

http://www.tropgentilpouretreheureux.com/download/TylerDurdenEssentials.pdf

The key thing is to push her through emotions. You can talk about World of Warcraft if that’s interesting to you, as long as you can make it emotionally engaging to her.

1. Cold reads

Be a psychic. Pretend to know something about her. (Or be very observant, and actually know something about her.) Commit these cold read openers to memory:

“I see you’re the type of person…”
“You look like the kind of girl…”
“I notice you…”
“There’s something about you that says…”

Focus on positive impressions, to get a girl talking about herself (and therefore projecting the good feelings she gets from her favorite subject — herself — onto you). Advanced cold reads use a compliment to embed a challenge to a girl’s self-conception. For instance:

“You seem really self-assured, but I can tell there are times when you struggle with doubt.”

Who doesn’t struggle with doubt? Cold read predictive power: validated. Pussy lips: blossomed.

2. Role-playing

Role-playing is basically the ability to have fun and jettison linearity for extemporaneity. (Two attributes in which most men run a deficit.) It’s fairly self-explanatory. You choose a character for yourself and for the girl (women love to be lead down these roads of whimsy), and you construct an alternate reality where the goal is to bring to life a typical female fantasy. Ideally, your role-playing characters will open the door to sexualized conversation.

Handy role-play scenarios you should learn and remember are:

Priest and wanton woman
Daddy and daughter
Boss and secretary
Photographer and model
Master and slave (save this one for the final stretch)
Professor and student
Concerned neighbor and runaway
Vice cop and prostitute
Seducer and seduced (yes, self-referential role-playing works)

The advantage of role-play is that you can be much bolder with your sexual innuendo than you could in normal conversation, because you have the plausible deniability of your character.

3. Storytelling

Similar to role-playing, except instead of making up a fun scenario involving two fantasy characters, you tell a story — embellished where necessary — involving real characters from your life. The object of storytelling is two-fold: to entrance a woman with the lure of an emotional jackpot, and to embed subtle cues of your high(er) value, aka DHVs.

Neil Strauss (“Style”) is widely considered to be the father of storytelling as a pick-up tactic. The guy writes for a living, so that would make sense. He categorizes storytelling into four types:

Implicit qualification stories

These are the stories that reveal certain positive and exciting attributes about yourself that you really want the girl listening to you to possess. So, for instance, these stories will present you as a rebel, a rule-breaker, and an impulsive lover of life with a short time horizon. The girl hears this, and feels a subconscious need to qualify herself as possessing those same exciting traits.

Self-promotion stories

You talk about yourself and your pursuits, accomplishments, dreams, whatever, but you do it with passionate engagement rather than arid laundry listing. Did you start a business with nothing but gumption and a notepad full of stray ideas? Talk about that, but describe the feelings that coursed through you every step of the way. You want her to feel like she was right there with you, reliving the excitement.

Sex-themed stories

If it’s obvious you are telling a story from your past involving third parties, you can get away with some juicy sex talk early on that you couldn’t get away with if the subject wasn’t nicely wrapped in a one degree removed package. Example: That time you encouraged your ex to do an impromptu pole dance, complete with imaginary pole, for tickets to a sold-out show.

Metaphorical stories

These can be made up or extracted from your life, but the idea is to highlight a moral quandary or a life lesson, which will further move discussion and encourage the girl’s participation. Mystery’s ant farm story is a classic of the genre.

The two key requirements of any story that you must learn are:

– The hook line. Lead a girl into your story with an innocuous question. Ex: “Have you ever been to [place X]?”

– Descriptive language. Show, don’t tell. You didn’t bike down that French boulevard with your ex, you swerved dangerously close to passing Parisians and rumbled chaotically over stony paths, as the aromas of warm bread and hyacinth filled your nose.

4. Qualification

Unlike almost every other man out there, you are qualifying her to see if she meets your strict standards for a pleasing woman worthy of your time and company. Ex: “Girls who are passionate and uninhibited are so rare nowadays. Everyone’s cautious, trying not to seem weird. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done recently?”

She will bite (they almost always do if your pick-up progression has been congruent with her escalating mood), and her emotional systems will invariably engage. Whatever you do, don’t show too much interest in her answer; you want her to impress you, and that takes work.

Careful, don’t qualify too early. You will appear judgmental, and that will close off a woman. Wait for her to show some signs of interest, then qualify her when her outer defenses are down.

5. Misinterpretation of her words as sexual intent

This is the most fun of the chick crack tactics, because it’s so childish and yet so effective at fast tracking the interaction to a coital conclusion. Ex:

Girl: “How about we dance? I like this song.”
You: “Riiiiight. I get it. [air quote] Daaaance. Rule #1 for dancing: My butt is a public work of art. That means, you can admire, but no touching. Arms up top, ok?”

Girl: “Your shirt is soooo gay.”
You: “Are you always thinking about gay sex? Perv?”

Girl: “I just got back from Rome.”
You: “Little soon for sex stories, doncha think?”

Tyler D has a version of this called “sexual predator game”, where you playfully assume everything she says or does is to get you in the sack. Ex: “You want me to get you a drink? No way. I know where that leads. Liquor me up, get my defenses down, and next thing I know you’ve tied me to the bed posts. Forget it, fatal attraction.”

Sexual misinterpretation is a riskier technique than the other ones, especially if done too early, because the girl could feel creeped out if she isn’t yet intrigued by your charms. Save this for later, after a breezy rapport is established.

***

The above are the five kinds of chick crack you should learn by heart. They are readily applicable in most circumstances, and are extremely effective at distinguishing yourself from the masses of men that cute girls meet every day. Chick crack is like a psychological branding iron that sears a woman’s limbic system, leaving a brain welt she’ll tenderly finger as wistful memories of you throb beneath.

PS Everything written in this post is evidence in favor of restricting the vote to men.

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