The Opposite Of Hoverhand: Hineyhand

Ah, hoverhand, that most identifiable of nervous, self-conscious beta male tells. Do you hover, body or hand? If you do, you must stop doing it so that women can begin to perceive you as a more attractive man, i.e. a man with a functional penis. Once you stop hovering, you may move on to step two: slyly placing your hand on or near a girl’s erogenous zones. What’s that? You’re afraid? Do not be afraid. Fear leads to beta. Beta leads to bitterness. Bitterness leads to involuntary celibacy.

Say again? Now you’re afraid a praying man-chin feminist will bite your head off if you put your hand on her in a less than obsequious manner? Silly fledgling. If you aren’t brusque about it, no woman will do that. Not even a feminist. Instead, the feminist will secretly enjoy your privileged sexual predations, and will only realize a day later after you have ignored her calls and text messages that she succumbed to an alpha male, whereupon her indignation will rise like froth in a stew of mashed ego gruel, and she will write a livid blog post about the asshole PUA she supposedly couldn’t care less for who can’t stop thinking about her.

Some of you burgeoning ladyslayers are wondering, “Where do I put my hand, then?”. Glad you asked! Here’s a graphic catered to the visual orientation preference of men.

The guy in the top left pic is headed toward LJBF land, if he isn’t there already. Beta. The guy in the bottom right is scared of his own shadow. Lesser beta with delusions of grandeur. The guy in the bottom left is doing it just right. Not too much grabass, like the boyfriend in the top right, but just enough to escalate her sexual response without triggering her egg protection protocol. As the night wears on and the seduction deepens, you should move your hand into previously inviolable regions. You’re on the right track if you can feel ass crack. As a reader says,

The guy at the waistline [bottom left] has to choose: up and out, or down and in.

Up and out, or down and in? Alpha male problems.

Where is the omega male’s hand? Why, feverishly pumping his pud ‘twixt forefinger and thumb!

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The Short Man Shit Test

The Private Man has a post about a short male friend who received a particularly crass OkCupid message from a girl:

A friend and colleague is doing the online dating thing with OKCupid. He’s 26, intelligent, and with a diverse range of interests and enthusiasms. All in all, he’s a good guy and certainly boyfriend material. He’s also relatively short at 5’6″ and he accepts his height realistically.

A girl recently sent him this OKCupid message:

“You are perfect except for your height wahhh. We should be friends, I think we would get along really well and have similar tastes/interests.”

What. A. Bitch.

She is the one who sent the message to him and then she rejects him romantically in the first sentence because of a physical characteristic completely beyond his control. Worse, she still wants “friendship” as an option. Here’s the most clueless girl on the planet. It’s clueless (and classless) girls like this who turn men into cold-hearted pickup artists. If she’s pulling a shit test to see if my friend would rise to the occasion, she’s taking bitchery to stratospheric levels. Likely, she’s not even aware of how awful she came across in her message.

As TPM noted, there are not very many men who would send the unsolicited equivalent to a woman on an online dating site.

Most men have enough awareness to not send the following online dating message to a perfect stranger:

“You are perfect except for your weight. We should be friends, I think we would get along really well and have similar tastes/interests.”

Maybe men should start doing this. It would go a ways to correcting women’s poor behavior and aligning their expectations with reality. And that SMV reality has never looked worse for women: chubsters and battle-axes and man impersonators as far as the eye can see.

I suspect the increase in women’s rudeness, (and I don’t doubt it is increasing among American women), is part ego stroking, part masculinization caused by elevated T levels (which itself is caused by careerism, fat-assery and leftoidism (the latter has the opposite effect on men)), and part manifestation of deep-seated insecurity about their mate worth and ability to land a quality man.

Think about it. If you are a marginal woman who has been burned one too many times by a sexy jerk, you will start to construct a hard shell to protect against future relationship disappointments. This shell often appears in the form of aggressive, preemptive posturing; a kind of “I’ll “””reject””” him before he rejects me” mentality. This is how substandard girls rationalize their solitude and give themselves a temporary ego thrill.

The irony of this cunttastic tactic is that it’s most frequently targeted against beta males — just the sorts of niceguys who would least give these beta women any reason to hate men. But women are human, and humans, despite our protestations to the contrary, can’t help but despise the weak and respect the strong. If you give a cunt half an inch, she’ll take a country mile.

It may also simply be the case that the woman in TPM’s story is a spergqueen, and didn’t know any better. But that’s not the way to bet.

Anyhow, I’d like to turn our attention away from calculating to the tenth decimal place the exact degree of this girl’s bitchiness, and toward the idea that there is an opportunity presented here to handle a blatant shit test and flip an attraction switch in the girl. The fact is, no matter how bitchy a girl, there is no deserved comeuppance as delicious as seducing her, fucking her, and then leaving her before the jizz has dried, never to contact her again. Unless you don’t have the stomach for that kind of stone cold vengeance. Not that I would know anything about that.

So you can chew her out and chasten her — and there would be nothing wrong with that, for you would be making the world a better place for future men who might have the misfortune of crossing paths with her — or you can attempt to make vaginade out of caustic cuntery.

As shit tests go, this one provides us with an excellent opportunity to demonstrate alpha male composure after a truly obnoxious taunt is hurled our way. This taunt is especially irritating because the girl has couched her attack in soft, passive-aggressive, condescending language; just the sort of vile subterfuge with which women are very skilled. Below, I offer some replies that would effectively neutralize this short man shit test, and gain you hand over the girl should you decide pursuing a fuck close is worth it.

Whatever way you answer this shit test, remember that the most important factor is that you NOT sound bitter. Her bitch antennae will be sensitive to any hint of bitterness or anger or defensiveness, so you have to be careful to avoid leaving any impression like those.

“You are perfect except for your height wahhh. We should be friends, I think we would get along really well and have similar tastes/interests.”

Possible effective replies

“Wow – you’ve got big hair – I might need a ladder to check out all your split ends. What are the odds of my grabbing a handful later tonight?” — This one courtesy of commenter “tj” to the original post. I would categorize this reply as “Ignore, and redirect”. Probably would work better in person with a playful attitude, than in words where it can be misinterpreted as bitter.

“Short height, big dick. Works for me. I’ll bet you’re a crazy cat lady in training.” — Also from tj. I’d drop the “crazy cat lady” line. The first two sentences are enough.

“Hey – thanks for your interest. I can see you haven’t been trained by a man yet. Your message is going to cost you two points. Now – write me a polite letter of introduction and tell me why your hair is worth pulling.” — Again from tj. This would not work face to face. Too many words. Works better in email or chat.

“Sure, we can be friends. But you’ll have to meet my girlfriends first. If they don’t like you, I’ll have to pass.”

“Have you ever fucked in front of your cat?” — You can go all sorts of ways with this reply. For instance, if she objects, say “But I thought we were friends? This is what friends talk about!”

“I get this all the time… too tall for the ladies.”

“Is this how you pick up guys? I’m not smitten yet. Try harder.”

“Perfect height for cunnilingus.”

“Who is this?”

“Whoa, dial back the charm. My knees are knocking.”

“Slow down, party girl. What makes you think we would get along? I hardly know you.”

“You like it in the pooper. I can tell.”

“You’ll have to wine and dine me first.”

“Get away from me you crazy-eyed psycho.”

“Another charm school grad, I see.”

“It’s cute the way you flirt so badly. Nerves?”

“Ahh, child-like naivete. You have much to learn.”

“Who wants to be perfect? Perfect is boring. I like to give women a challenge.”

“You like rape, too? Awesome!” — Use with caution. An emotionally stunted feminist might not catch the sarcasm.

“I would tie you down like a Lilliputian.”

“Great! Let’s start our wonderful friendship watching the sun set. You might have to put me on your shoulders.” — Self-deprecating humor is risky, but works on some girls, especially if you’re careful not to milk it, and you segue quickly into sexual escalation.

“Lovely.” — Chicks dig ambiguity. What’s she going to make of this one word reply?

“I’ve heard better come-ons from insurance salesmen.”

“I’m glad you’re the kind of girl who doesn’t just love me for my bod.”

“You’re like that little girl who tries to give the boy she really likes cooties.”

***

You’ll notice in most of the replies above, I rarely mention shortness or height. A successful reframe means just that: reframing away from a conversational topic which works against your advantage. Many of the replies contain implicit challenges — or qualifying tests — that are designed to put the girl on the defensive, provoking her to explain her actions, motivations, or worth as a human being. Girls like men who challenge them, because in their twisted minds they think this means such men really like them for more than their looks.

None of the replies are set up to make excuses for the man’s height, or to cajole a girl of the short man’s positive attributes. Cajoling = qualifying oneself, and that’s anti-game. Some of you may be tempted to say something along the lines of: “You should try a short man for once. You’d be surprised how good we are in bed. Compensation means we have mad skills.” No good. Instead, it’s better to ASSUME THE SALE. The last reply is a classic example of this dictum.

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EBook Review: 60 Years Of Challenge

60 Years of Challenge is the nom de plume of a pick-up artist (or, in more conventional language, a womanizer). He wrote an ebook detailing his game principles and techniques, and CH was given a PDF copy to review. The ebook is a couple years old, and 60 now has new material on his website, (warning: you’ll have to wade through the usual cheesy marketing stuff, but to 60’s credit it’s not as obnoxious or long-winded as most PUA advertisement pages). The older ebook contains the core of his pick-up philosophy and game material, but it may not be purchasable any longer, so readers who want 60’s wisdom will have to buy from the link posted above.

I’ll touch on the themes of 60’s book and highlight where he’s strongest and most differentiates himself from other pick-up teachers, and where I think his material comes up short.

60’s primary contention, and the philosophy that guides his game strategy, is that men should be gunning for the fast lay, not because it’s “cool”, but because it’s easier than taking the slow road. Consequently, most of his approaches are basically direct, but without being sexually overt.

“Hey…I want to meet you”

I deliver this with a seductive but very serious voice. Very humble. The more scared you are the more genuine you should be. Beat fear with love. I put out my hand to introduce myself, she takes it and we start talking. I don’t let go of her hand and she doesn’t pull away. Time stops. I know it’s probably on. Even still I move really close to her quickly. Better to move close now, than wait until later on when it’s more obvious.

He’s a big proponent of steady, unwavering physical escalation, particularly when the moment is open for it. (Escalation is a recurring problem for most betas.)

60 correctly identifies an issue a lot of men have: the tendency to elicit sexual interest but then fall back on lazy, self-congratulatory attitudes before the deal has been closed. He calls this tendency “sexual tension masturbation”.

Sexual tension masturbation (STM) is when you think you have something going with a girl with your eye contact, vibe and all your little visualizations and other fantasy bullshit. Look man sexual tension is great, but if you don’t solidify the connection physically (ie. mutual caressing) it all gets forgotten about. It was all in your head. […]

Don’t use the power of sexual tension as an excuse not to start conversations or make overt physical escalations. You guys know who you are. The ones who say they “only open women with eye contact” (when actually they are scared to open) and “escalate with vibe” (obviously they’re really just scared to show overt interest).

60 agrees with CH that a sexual frame is critical to success with women. (When you visualize women as sexual creatures before anything else, your subtle shift in mannerism around women cues them to reciprocate the favor.)

I’m always aware of my cock. It’s my emotional gage. I’m not hard. Why am I not hard? Ok we can fix that. While she talks I start picturing her blowing me face down on my bed while I palm her ass with one hand. Again, being in a sexual state is important, but if you are only going to pick one crucial moment per night to be in a sexual state, it’s right now! I am now operating from a desire for sex (need 1) vs. affection (need 2). A second ago I was daydreaming about getting coffee and snuggling up with her in bed with a good book. Nothing wrong with that except that women don’t snuggle with guys they don’t have a sexual connection with. I have to get the sex before I can be the guy enjoying coffee in bed.

Core psychological difference between alpha and beta males:
Alphas pursue hot, dirty sex, and accept that relationships could be a consequence of a successful pursuit.
Betas pursue loving, affectionate relationships, and accept that sex could be a part of a successful pursuit.

Men are better looking when they are listening with seductive intensity than when they are talking or smiling stupidly. Plus, listening to a girl yap on and on weave elaborate worlds of fantasy and flourish will put her in a sexually receptive state.

For most guys using their seductive face (lips, sleepy eyes) makes them way better looking than their social face (big smile, open eyes).

You might not consider yourself good looking but few guys making a seductive face will be considerd bad looking by women.

If you’re an ugly guy, all I can say to you is: what choice do you have? Sit at home and fap morosely? You may as well put yourself out there and demonstrate the boldness that women love. Even a 1 out of 100 close rate beats a 0 out of 0 close rate.

60’s approach strategy is to focus on girls who come into or near your zone of influence. That is, don’t hunt high and low for girls to talk to; rather, focus your attention on girls who enter the area you are sitting or standing. This is sound advice for beginners still getting over stage fright and turned off by the contortions involved in executing the “approach machine” mentality. Plus, girls who have veered into your orbit, whether they are consciously aware or not, have signaled some interest, and are thus easier to open. He suggests that men who can’t think of anything to say use the easiest non-verbal opener in the world: the cheers. Few women will resist a raised glass. Other wordless openers include the handshake hold, the light body bump, and the spin.

There is some standard stuff here about not being afraid to blow it. Men paradoxically do worse in the beginning of the night because that’s when they give more of a fuck about meeting and attracting girls. As the night, and the misfires, wear on, that fear gets supplanted by a fuck-it attitude that is more attractive to girls. That fuck-it attitude needs to be your attitude *all the time*. You have to be always on, or, more precisely, always off. So get your rejections out of the way early in the night so you can enjoy the rest of the night in a more relaxed state of mind.

60 also reveals a little trick for tongue-tied men that has worked for me on occasion: Tell girls that you have trouble saying something.

I will tell people that I’m having an anxiety attack and I need to take a little break. I really don’t give a fuck what they think about it. Not surprisingly this has cut down the frequency of my panic attacks dramatically.

The act of airing your anxieties — a form of beta vulnerability game that is charming in small, self-aware (and self-controlled) doses — is catnip to chicks. Telling a girl that you are “having trouble saying something really cool and interesting at the moment, so just sit tight and magic will happen if you’re patient” is guaranteed to put a smile on almost any girl’s face. Note that there is a subtle qualification test for the girl buried in that opener.

1st Time: Assume Failure

The first time I make an overt “it’s on” escalation (O-IOE) like putting out my hand or grabbing her hand I just assume it’s not going to work. I figure she is probably going to pull her hand away quickly or simply not comply. Same thing if I go for a kiss instead. I fully expect her to turn away on the first try.

But I don’t care if she turns her cheek because the point of the first escalation wasn’t for it to succeed. It was only to show her that I am confident and go for what I want. Escalation is attractive. If I create an it’s on moment on the first try I consider it a bonus.

Chicks dig boldness. Escalating is bold. (MGTOWs wept.)

60 goes into a lot of detail about demonstrating to girls that you can handle social tension, or what we hear at CH refer to as grace under pressure. Shit tests are tension tests; the girl wants to know if you’ll fold like a cheap lawn chair. If you do, you are not a worthy alpha male who will protect her and her tribe from marauders. As 60 says, you don’t want to break the tension; you want to ride it out until *she* breaks the tension. Then you have acquired for yourself seduction hand. For example:

Hey, I want to grab a drink with you on Wednesday.

~ I can’t. I have to work late

This is the point where most guys can’t deal with the awkwardness and just assume this means she isn’t interested. As such, they immediately blab out something stupid to break the tension ie. “oh, that sucks”. Instead stay completely silent. Don’t let her off the hook. Give her a few moments to come back with her own idea.

~ I’m free on Thursday night.

~ We can go to my place.

If you always feel the need to break the awkward silence and let her off the hook, you will never give her a chance to think up a solution. […]

This moment of silence also makes it clear that you know exactly what her little game is all about. She is trying to string you along while still keeping your male attention and you’re not going to put up with it. This moment of silence exposes her. Let the truth about her interest level be heard. She’s been busted without having to verbally call her out, which is lame.

I like 60’s seduction style, because it follows a tenet of “less is more” for verbal interaction, while simultaneously pursuing a “more is more” attitude toward physical interaction. It’s the sort of game that will appeal to men who aren’t naturally socially hyperactive and who instead prefer a laid-back, mystery man approach with heavy emphasis on body language cues and nuanced facial expressions.

Reframe Ignoring

You can also reframe it if a woman is ignoring your texts. Yes, you can even reframe silence. Is she ignoring you or is she flirting with you? It’s up to you to decide.

all of a sudden you’re shy? you are such a flirt

It’s the way you interpret her testing and resistance that will dictate your response. It helps to be delusionally confident.

Now where have I heard this before?

Set Stealers

Sometimes one of your friends will come over and indirectly try to hit on the girl you are talking to. Other times random guys will try to steal your set.

He means well but maybe your buddy is very talkative and thinks he is good with women. The key here is to stay quiet and keeping holding eye-contact with your target (the listener) while he is busy doing the talking and entertaining.

Do not look or turn your body towards him. Don’t comment on anything he says. This will just give him more attention and power.

This technique is very powerful because you are communicating with her on the non-verbal level while he is still stuck on the verbal level.

You can even start using eye-coding her like

“isn’t it cute. he is trying so hard”

You guys are secretly tooling him. He will never be able to recover from that.

AMOG management. (AMOG = alpha male of the group, or alpha male other guy). So true. Have you ever noticed how blatantly — to the point of rudeness — naturals will do this? They will turn their backs, literally, on any AMOG, even if he is a friend, if the guy tries to horn in on the action. And, like a jungle cat, the natural’s eyes will never unlock from his prey’s eyes. Do these things, and you can learn to be a natural.

You are Ugly

She thinks I am ugly. Tell me something I don’t know.

I know you were hoping you might be at least decent looking. Dude, you’re ugly.

And the sooner you realize and admit you are ugly the better. The great news is you don’t have to be traditionally “good looking” to attract women.

If you want to be considered “good looking” in woman’s eyes, you have to have the confidence to not care that you are ugly.

Confidence is sexy. And a big part of being confident is realizing you are not good looking, but you don’t give a fuck. Women will definitely pick up on this attitude.

The only way to be confident is to actually have male model looks or admit that you are ugly. So if you aren’t a male model, then you are ugly. Say it. I am ugly. Like most guys you are probably average looking. But you can’t be average looking and still be worrying about looks. That is a formula for disaster.

Let it go man

Even if you are decent looking and have confidence with some women, there will always be even hotter girls who you feel are out of your league based on your looks. You are never going to be better looking than a woman. Let women worry about looking good and smelling nice. Stop playing the looks game. Stop the insanity. You are ugly. You are short, fat, bald, and you smell. And it doesn’t matter.

Most of us can’t attract women with our looks.

What attracts women to you is the “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Wise words, and right in line with CH teachings. (And with science!)

But 60, despite his solid advice, doesn’t much like opening girls. He prefers, as do I, using the opener as a screen for girls who are interested, and getting to the seduction part of the pick-up sooner rather than later. Because the quicker you get to actually seducing women, the closer you get to the lays, and the more hot sex you ultimately squeeze out of your short window of opportunity here on earth.

My whole goal for opening is to make it as quick and efficient as possible. That’s why I recommend non-verbal opening. aka as physical opening. I want to ping as many cute girls as I can in the shortest amount of time.

I want to get to the fun part. Seducing. I would rather be having an interesting conversation or just listening while seducing a girl with my eyes than be approaching.

I really enjoy seducing cute women that have at least some interest in me. Even though I hate opening, finding them is my motivation. Because for every nine frumps there is always one really cute and interesting girl that I have a lot of fun hanging out with that night.

Outright, prompt rejection is actually not the worst thing that can happen to you. The worst is the “low interest” girl; she will put in juuuust enough effort to keep you around, but not much more to help move the interaction to a sexual crescendo. At least with the girls who rudely reject you, you can move on right away to better prospects; the cockteasers can keep you invested in a shit stock if you don’t have the experience to know when to sell.

What is a magic number

A magic number is how many women you have to contact before you find one who has interest in you based solely on your presence.

Attractive Presence / 1st Impression

– confident approach
– confident body language & posture
– confident eye contact
– looks: clothes, grooming, body
– smile, vibe, glow

What is your magic number

A guy with no confidence, bad posture and no style and could have a magic number as high as 100. Meaning he would have contact 100 women to get one good lead. This is an extreme example but still even with a few minor tweaks to his presence he could easily reduce that number to 1 in 50.

Why its good to know your magic number

What if you knew with 100% certainty that if you approached ten women you would go home with one of them. I think you would be really excited to start approaching ten women.

60 spends most of his ebook taking about how to transform a lukewarm girl into a boiling cauldron of twat tingles. His belief is that opening is more about screening out completely uninterested girls (the “red light” girls) and game is more about the skill to convert those girls who have shown some minimal interest (minimal interest in girl-code is MUCH more encrypted than would be minimal interest expressed by the typical man) into lovers.

I know why he does this: the initial meet, and any accompanying instant attraction levels, are subject to a degree of randomness that the later comfort and seduction stages are not. Any individual girl could be taken, PMSing, upset, thinking about some other dude, mad at being dragged out by her friends, or simply MHC incompatible, and most efforts to attract her on your part will be pissing into the wind. While there is plenty of game material on how to CREATE attraction, 60 prefers to emphasize the game techniques that come into play once a girl has been screened for a tiny hint of interest (or, more precisely, screened for an absence of unresponsiveness). Strangely, although approach game is more exposed to forces of randomness, everything after the approach and initial meet is exposed to more opportunities to FUCK IT UP royally. A girl who is sticking around for a few minutes to get a feel for your alpha maleness is also going to become a harsher judge of any missteps you make. Game helps men avoid those missteps and guide transiently invested girls into stronger, more sexually charged commitments.

No Tension

I know some guys still think this ambiguity is a good thing. It’s better if she is wondering about your intentions, right? Actually not really. That’s because there is almost NO tension when you start a conversation this way. It’s way too comfortable for her right from the start. Most times after your initial comment and subsequent thread runs its course , the interaction fizzles out. On the other hand using very direct openers (ie. you are absolutely stunning!) can also be hit or miss.

As such, I usually choose the middle ground. For example, my favorite way to start a conversation is ”Hey, you looked interesting. I figured I would come over and introduce myself.” This line is delivered seductively but slightly aloof. Yes I want to meet her but I’m not completly won over yet. This opener obviously creates some tension but it’s not so over the top that it’s awkward. It doesn’t box you in. You can still be a challenge and she still has to qualify. In fact, by adding that she “looked interesting” most women will want to stay consistent with that and try to live up to your initial perception of them. In other words, qualify to you.

Quick Tip

I know it can be hard for some guys to build-up enough confidence to walk over and simply introduce themselves to a woman. And some guys just can’t do it at all. They feel much more comfortable with the comment, question or opinion format. So for them I recommend making their situational comment and then stating their intention.

Example

indirect – situational comment: looks like you are really enjoying that book, is that something I should be reading?

her: actually it’s really funny! I can’t stop laughing.

direct – state intention: well you looked interesting, so I thought I would come over and introduce myself.

I’m an advocate for showing ambiguity, but 60 makes a good point that too much ambiguity will be misread by girls as friendship offers, or worse, as cowardly avoidance of one’s real intentions. 60 is really a student of the indirect-direct opener school. His directness is less sexual than it is plausibly deniable, and he even advises that a direct opener can be used on the heels of an indirect opener if you are the kind of guy who likes to catch women off-guard (or you’re justifiably squeamish about being perceived as too flattering of girls). I believe the indirect-direct opener is Krauser’s method of operation as well.

I’m still not a fan of saying your name before you’ve gotten the girl’s name, (your name should be a reward for her name or, better yet, should remain mysteriously hidden as long as possible), so I would avoid openers that use the phrase “introduce myself”. Substitute with “say ‘hi'” instead.

60 has something to say to those guys (usually trolls) who wonder if practiced aloofness and stating one’s intentions, however ambiguously, are mutually exclusive:

If you think letting women know that you wanted to meet them gives them the upper hand, think again. Remember, contacting women on dating sites doesn’t stop guys from being challenging or qualifying them. Even though she assumes they must be interested. These guys are taking advantage of the built-in excitement that comes when someone (anyone) is interested in you. People like people who like them.

When you stay completely vague about why you came over to talk, women won’t register the interaction as anything to be excited about. She can relax. They stop listening and lose interest. They play with their phones and start looking around. That’s because she really does think you are just “being social” or you were just making a comment. Even if she eventually realizes you probably came over to talk to her, she isn’t going to give you any points for having confidence. She will think you were scared so you made up an excuse. By this point it’s too late anyway. She is too comfortable with you.

I wouldn’t go as far as 60 in his assertion that indirect game will bore women and friendzone yourself; in the right hands, Straussian opinion opener game can work well, as long as one knows when to ratchet the tension. The problem with indirect, “social” game is that there is a risk it will be used as a crutch by men to avoid more intimate escalation.

It is way more important to open a woman within three seconds than to wait until you can think of something clever to say. In fact, it doesn’t really matter what you say.

You can say I love tigers, this is my song or simply hello. Just as long as you say it within three seconds.

The most important thing is that you don’t procrastinate and sike yourself out. And eventually creep her out. You will get more points for having the confidence to approach quickly than you would if you came up with something really good to say, but waited.

Amen, bro. No argument here.

60 thinks that humbleness rather than cockiness is the preferred method of bantering female shit tests.

Hey do you guys think it’s OK for a girl to Twitter about her date while she is still on the date?

They are nice but out of nowhere her friend says: “Is this your excuse to come and and talk to us?”

Now I know some guys would think it’s the perfect time for a cocky comeback. Don’t Break Rapport

Actually you guys looked fun so I wanted to come introduce myself.

Do not let her bait you to break rapport. Do not give her an excuse to reject you. Your confident approach already has her attracted. Women don’t test guys they aren’t attracted to.

I disagree with this last assertion. Women will often test men they aren’t YET attracted to, in order to determine just how attractive a man is. There might be an initial, asexual curiosity by her, but full-blown attraction in women can take a few minutes to really metastasize. Nevertheless, 60’s advice is solid; cockiness can be overplayed, especially if you are already perceived as a confident man.

A general rule is the less attractive she is the more humble you need to be.

This is just a reiteration of the CH maxim that the hotter the chick, the tighter your game will need to be.

Clown Zone

Keep in mind that although a social opener is low risk, the more clownish your opener is the harder it will be to switch to a seductive vibe later.

This is my main beef with the older Tyler Durden style of game. High energy, borderline spastic openers and mass social proofing is anathema to men who either prefer or are naturally more skilled at creating lower energy seductive vibes, aka brooding introverts. A player would have to be exceptionally skilled indeed to ably switch from one state to the other without seeming incongruent.

Anti-Manifesto

It is my belief that it’s not so much as you need to do or say “special” things to CREATE attraction as much as you just need to NOT do the small things that reduce the sexual tension that is already there. And eventually kill it forever.

– talking
– laughing
– reacting
– fidgeting
– bailing her out
– supplicating facial expressions […]

In the end it always seems to come down to who wins the little tension battles:

Eye Contact: who is going to look away first
Introduction: who pulls their hand away first
Silence: who gives in and talks first
Resistance: who tries to diffuse the awkward moment first
Who breaks down and needs to have a talk about “what is going on” first.

Yes, game is as much avoidance of anti-seduction behaviors as it is execution of pro-seduction behaviors. In fact, the former is a prerequisite for the latter; you have to rid yourself of the bad before the good can find purchase.

I’ll quote the following from 60 because it is SO important for newbs to understand:

Escalation & Resistance

Anytime you get verbal or physical resistance there will be even more tension in the air. This is good news. Resistance is great! But if you react to the resistance verbally (ie. trying to diffuse the awkwardness by making a joke) you will kill that tension. The same thing happens if you look sad and become pouty. If you don’t react to her resistance it never becomes real. It’s not official. It’s like it never happened. Being unreactive and keeping composed lets you be very persistent without coming across needy.

What do I hear there? Ah yes, the female rationalization hamster! You need to befriend that hamster and to make it spin for you instead of against you. Non-reactiveness is a surefire social technique for putting that furball to work in your service.

Risk Creepy

As I have discussed before you want to embrace awkwardness and risk creepy. You want her breathing heavy and get her heart beating faster. That’s because these symptoms mimic the signs of her being attracted. This tension is a good thing. You want it to be a bit awkward. You don’t want things to feel too comfortable.

Better to be creepy than invisible.

The Hard Truth

For some guys using fast escalation will be the only way they can ever create attraction with really hot women. The confidence displayed by fast escalation overcomes all of their shortcomings in other areas. You are wasting your time if you are using anything else.

60 emphasizes fast escalation, physical but also to a lesser extent verbal, and with good reason: You really can short-circuit a girl’s latent objections to sex by escalating fast and taking her out of her head. Remember, women WANT and LOVE to submit to a strong man. And escalation is a manifestation of strength.

Guys just want things to end good

So they can have their little story about how they got a hot girls number or flirted with a really attractive woman. It’s an ego thing. They didn’t escalate because they didn’t want things to end bad. But it always ends bad. Every single time.

Follow everything to its conclusion. Every set. Every number. Every prospect. Every time. Unless you get the girl it will always end bad. And at some point it will eventually end bad with her as well. And that’s OK. […]

Make sure it always ends bad.

Raise your hands, all you guys who chatted up a girl, got her smiling, and then bailed on asking for the number or a date because you froze and decided that her smile was good enough for you. Follow through to failure. You will never have success if you’re afraid to court failure.

There’s a big chunk of the middle section of the ebook that deals with tension management, eye contact, inner game, shit tests, seductive listening, qualification, kino (combining “accidental” and deliberate touches), compliance, persistence, anti-slut defenses, isolation, last minute resistance (“Don’t wait for resistance. Resist yourself.”) and rapport (he’s not a huge fan of intentionally breaking rapport to build tension), which I will skip over because most of the readers are already familiar with these topics, and 60’s contribution is not radically different from the information in other pick-up resources. It’s still very good, though, and 60 is a clear, insightful writer whose material would sit well on the top shelf along with other renowned game manuals.

60 Years of Challenge is a great resource if you are looking for information on powerful post-approach, early- and mid-stage game techniques, body and facial language, and non-verbal escalation. Physical, non-verbal escalation plays such a big part of 60’s game philosophy that it’s a wonder the autistic feminist hen cluckers haven’t latched onto his tome as a field manual for instituting rape culture. But the player is right and the feminists are wrong (there’s news): girls love the feeling of “being taken” by a dominant man, and part of that feeling requires of girls that they put forth tokens of resistance.

60 is a little weak in the areas of creating raw attraction and relationship management, but there are plenty of other pick-up resources out there that cover those territories extensively. He stresses that cocky/funny teasing is counterproductive in many cases, which is where he markedly differs from his pick-up peers. He asserts that silence and a seductive stare create more delicious sexual tension than a witty comeback. (It is on this subject where I think his advice becomes too narrow in scope. There is certainly a place for playful teasing.). His theoretical musings on male-female psychosocial differences (or sameness) are superficial (he’s a member of the slut apologist club). Also, some of his advice contradicts itself, but that is a quibble when viewed against the mostly coherent whole, and to be expected when a good part of his ebook is a patchwork of his drive-by internet forum postings.

Disagreements aside, my overall style is sympatico with 60’s, and I suspect 60 and I would get along quite well in the field as wingman partners in grime.

Rating: 3.5 out of 4 engorged labia.

PS Here’s a parting quote from 60, directed at the mewling MGTOWs and huffy tradcons:

The game is not fair

I repeat. This game is not fucking fair. The best guy for her doesn’t win. The most attractive guy doesn’t automatically get to be the one to have sex with her.

The guy she likes best and the guy she ends up having sex with can be two totally different people.

It’s the guy who is persistent that gets the girl. It’s the guy who laughs off her tests and token resistance and keeps escalating that gets the girl. In the end he doesn’t even remember any of the resistance he got.

PPS I like this final thought from 60:

Visualize yourself as having a combination of the following. A seduction triple threat.

• The social skills of Vince Vaughn in Swingers
• The seductive power of George Clooney
• The sexual drive of Tommy Lee on tour with Motley Crue

Pick your own characters or role models

Your goal is to become congruent with these 3 characters and be able to switch smoothly from one to the other without worrying that it’s strange.

You can’t go wrong imbuing yourself with the personality traits of the cocky socializer, the confident seducer, and the carnal sex machine. To be anything less would be… beta.

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Why Ask Why? Shun The Stale Seven Questions

Here’s a little trick for beginners to improve their rapport skills with women: don’t ask them questions. Specifically, don’t ask them the following anticipated questions:

What’s your name?
What do you do?
Where do you live?
Where are you from?
What school did you go to?
Where do you work?
How do you like it here?

When you meet a girl, and she’s a tight-lipped sort who won’t volunteer much to help a conversation gain traction, you will feel a powerful compulsion to ask these kinds of filler questions. When you feel that urge, STOP yourself mentally, keep your trap shut, and spend a second or two thinking up some other kind of question to ask her, if you must ask something. It doesn’t matter what question you substitute in the place of the Stale Seven above, as long as it is different and, therefore, unexpected. You could ask “How would you calculate the hypotenuse of a right triangle if your life depended on it?” and you would get better reactions from girls than asking some boring question she’s heard a thousand times this week (if she’s cute).

If it helps your willpower, imagine the claw grip of CH wielding a blackboard pointer and rapping it briskly against your knuckles when you think impure thoughts about the Stale Seven. Such a visualization will coax an idle grin from you, which will in turn arouse the curiosity of your mark. And once a girl is curious about you, her labia begin to flower like a Desert Lily after an August deluge.

Willing yourself to shun the Stale Seven is more than a game tactic to attract women; it’s on-the-go practice for becoming a better conversationalist, a skill that can apply to any situation involving a second human being. When you force a pattern interrupt on yourself, you sharpen your focus and hone your mind to think differently. To think more seductively. Many men complain they can never “think of anything to say” to women, but a big reason for their comatose tongues rests in the fact that their minds still operate under the guidelines of old, intransigent ways. They haven’t yet actively pushed their brains out of the comfort zone. Other people can push you out of your comfort zone, but so can you alone, through deliberate concentration on sidestepping lazy traps your mind lays for you. That first time you catch yourself midway through the word “Where…” on the way to completing the “Where are you from?” banality, you will feel something akin to a happy mental rush. “Yes!” you will mentally intone, “I stopped myself from muttering a beta male triviality! This means I have the power to mold myself into a more interesting man.”

A little victory, to be sure, but those little victories add up, until one day you’re twirling a girl round and round the dance floor of your mind.

Now that we know how to be less predictable around women, we can move on to step two: being more of a challenge. This step typically encompasses a lot of material, so for now we’ll discuss one particular method that will instantly imbue you with the churlish aura of alphatude that women crave as much as you crave a firm ass and supple breasts.

Ask, “Why?”. Why ask why? Reader dannyfrom504 explains:

Girls don’t need to be interesting. Most guys will validate them based on looks alone.

You want to mess up a cute girls head, ask her WHY when she states an opinion. Most dudes just go along with her to try to build [sic] repoir. Be different and ask her to justify her opinion.

You’ll stand out and bring major tingles.

You ask why because it is the one category of question that most men don’t ask of women. When was the last time you heard a beta male asking a girl why she thought this way, or why she thinks that way, or why she likes to be a heartbreaker, or why she she can’t sit still, or why she has to be the center of attention? When was the last time you *didn’t* see a beta male dutifully nodding his head like a hired lackey to every inanity spilled from a pretty girl’s mouth?

< kenyan > Now let me be clear. < /kenyan > You ask why not out of spite, or disapproval. You ask it sincerely, because it’s delightfully shocking to women to hear it, and it’s a challenge most women can’t resist. You ask because you want to know. Or, more likely, you don’t really want to know, but you fake interest till you make interest. Asking “why?” will immediately and in no uncertain terms set you apart from the horde of indistinguishable men an attractive woman interacts with every day. It’s bold, it’s ballsy, and it’s exciting to women. And excitement = sexytime.

Furthermore, “why?” is a great short-cut for getting women to open up and reveal a bit about themselves. This is known in pick-up parlance as “value eliciting”. Once you key in on a woman’s values, you can feed them back to her as if they were also your own, and construct a feeling of connection that is so important to women as a prelude to any sexual relinquishment.

Some of you dreadfully fearful minimen will ask “What if she replies ‘Why do you care?’“. First, you would be lucky to cross paths with more than 1 out of 50 women who would answer in that bitchy manner. But, for the sake of argument, here’s what you say if that does happen to you: “Charming.” Brevity cues the glow of clits.

You need to know two things about female psychology before you know anything else. Women HATE HATE HATE boring men. And women REALLY HATE HATE HATE supplicating yes-men.

Women are attracted — yes, primally, sexually attracted — to interesting men, and to challenging men.

Don’t be boring. Don’t be a suck-up. If you accomplish those two miracles and wonders, you are halfway to sleeping with the kinds of women you’ve always dreamed of defiling. If you have questioned your ability to borrow and then alchemize the alpha attitude for yourself, know that avoiding classic (and easily avoidable) beta male manbooby traps like asking boring, autonomically retrievable questions, and nodding like a puppet to every throwaway musing a woman utters, is 9/10ths of the effort needed to shed your crusty, beta chrysalis.

So keep those toes a-tapping, gentlemen, because you are not like the rest.

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Boring Women

A reader asks,

What advice would you give when one finds himself on a first date with a fuckable woman (7ish) who is incredibly boring? Boring in the sense she has little to say, and only responds passively to a variety of stimuli. I had two such dates three days apart and found myself starting to beta-ize myself (still somewhat new) to establish some connection and procure what I was after (finishing 1 for 2, though the 1 was not what dreams are made of). I know this is not the answer.

To be fair, I am not particularly funny, but I am a psychologist and skilled at opening (which can work for and against me as the frame is set).

Is she acting bored, or is she genuinely boring? The distinction is important. Exciting women can be brought to bored lows in the company of boring men. A woman who passively responds to stimuli could have in her possession such a wealth of experience with men that it takes a lot to get her invested in any one particular date. (This is a problem if you date sluts.) If that’s happening, the problem is fixed by challenging those women. You can spark a girl right up by teasing her, or by doing something unpredictable.

If the girl is actually a boring person, then two possibilities about her person come to mind: one, she’s not very bright (stupid girls don’t often have interesting things to say, nor are they adept at moving conversations along) or two, she’s introverted, and would have a lot to say if you know how to motivate her to open up.

Men typically repsond to boring (and bored) women by trying extra hard to perk them up. This is the beta male strategy, and it almost always fails, (at least on the timelines we’re interested in), because VALUE is lost when it looks like you have to work to entertain a girl. So we know what you have to avoid: you must avoid the impression that you’re trying to get her to liven up.

If the girl is boring because she’s stupid, go caveman. Dispense with the chit-chat and grab her for the bumpngrind. Dumb girls respond well to primitive courtship displays.

If the girl is boring because she’s shy, you say to her that you know what it’s like, but you have hope for her because you’ve learned from experience that shy girls usually have a lot of interesting things to say once they feel comfortable enough to share it. Tell her to take her time blossoming like a flower, because once the floodgates open you don’t want to drown in it all at once. You refer the slow pour.

If the girl is bored because you’re too beta for her, well… read the archives. Time to amp up the teasing, cocky/funny, mild insults, venue bouncing, agreement and amplification, etc etc. Draw situational women into your orbit to build jealousy plot lines. Flirt with the waitress in full view of your date.

If the girl is boring because she has nothing to say (regardless of her level of smarts), you need to improve your rapport game. Start by learning the “love test routine” and get this chick glowing with girly excitement!

Bonus pointer: Refrain from calling out a girl for being boring. This tactic hardly ever works when you’re already on a date with her. IF you do want to hit her with that, try to dress it up as a backhanded compliment, eg: “It’s so nice to be with a girl for once who is Ok with just sitting next to you quietly and not feeling like she has to say something amazing every five seconds.” That’ll get her hamster spinning furiously.

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Women Prefer Taken Men

Ah women… saintly creatures. The fairer sex. Daddies’ little princesses. And also more likely than men to be homewreckers.

Do women prefer men who are attached?

“Everything was the same across all participants, except whether their ideal mate was already attached or not,” says Burkley.

The most striking result was in the responses of single women. Offered a single man, 59 per cent were interested in pursuing a relationship. But when he was attached, 90 per cent said they were up for the chase.

Men were keenest on pursuing new mates, but weren’t bothered whether their target was already attached or not.

This shouldn’t be news to veteran readers of CH. We of the illuminati already knew, from years toiling in the field, getting our dicks dirty, that women:

1. love to CHASE CHASE CHASE aloof men who aren’t readily available

2. love preselected men other women love, and

3. love the drama that necessarily accompanies stealing a validated man from his girlfriend or wife.

Really, if feminists were smart (asking a lot, I know), they’d realize their worst enemies aren’t laser-guided ego-targeting truth bombers like yours truly, but other women who will claw, scratch and passive-aggressively sabotage their way over the messed tresses of their sexual market competitors. Politically, women may be a united front, but privately they are at each other’s throats. And they attack with their knives sheathed, plausible deniability and rationalizing hamsters their greatest allies in this total war of gene delivery vessels, which makes them all the more potent adversaries.

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Powerful Nonverbal Openers

In this post, we discussed the problem of men forfeiting a big chunk their sexual market currency by repeatedly glancing around a room at every girl, hoping for reciprocal eye play, but ultimately never approaching. The SMV damage comes from two insults: One, girls are turned off by men who retreat to the safe harbor of long distance probing eye contact; two, men will experience a subtle but sure erosion of their self-confidence from abjuring action for passivity. Reader Days of Broken Arrows puts it nicely:

Looking also doesn’t work because action turns women on, not inaction. This is something they don’t teach in school and I don’t see it much in the manosphere either. I keep saying this, but I’ll repeat it. Even though they tell us we’re “equal,” men built everything you now own or work with (or in). Women’s job, biologically speaking, is to give birth. Men’s is to build society. We get turned on by things we notice about them that relate to giving birth (hips, breasts) they get turned on by knowing how we’ll help build the world.

As with any rules, there are exceptions. But my point is that having the balls to walk up to a women like you own the fucking room and deserve her time is half the battle. It’s a metaphor for why she’ll be attracted to you. Men who sit and stare are margin dwellers, not doers.

What kind of man just up and WALKS into a woman’s personal space to meet her when he hasn’t been green-lighted by hours of mutually parried eye contact? Answer: An attractive man. Chicks dig the insouciant, entitled man, despite any protestations to the contrary you may hear from the rape culture crowd.

Now, none of this is to say that pre-approach, long distance “openers” can’t work, or shouldn’t be tried. Not only can they work, but if done correctly, the nonverbal opener from a distance is powerfully alluring to women. For example, reader dannyfrom504 writes,

what’s worked for me (and i’m not a great looking guy) is to make eye contact and to stick my tongue out at her like we were in grade school. if i get a laugh or smile, i approach and ask her name.

Picture the scenario. You spot a cute girl, and look at her for a few tantalizing seconds, waiting for her to look up and return your death stare. Then, she raises her head and meets your eye. But instead of reacting the usual way most men do — quickly averting your shy gaze back down to your book which you aren’t reading — you stick your tongue out at her. For maximum funniness, you do this with a deadpan expression. Caught off-guard by this perfect demonstration of cocky male assurance, she will smile and laugh. How do I know she will smile and laugh? Because it is nearly impossible not to smile and laugh when confronted by such a strange and endearing child-like violation of social norms. You did not act like the millions of betas act, who perch in the corners of her world like potted plants. You acted like a man she is now suddenly interested in meeting. This nonverbal opener has greased the skids for a smooth follow-up approach opener.

Here’s another nonverbal opener from reader Cream:

this [sticking tongue out] is basically what I do except that I wave comically.

When a girl meets your eye, can you imagine waving your arms at her frantically, as if you were trying to flag her down from the side of the road? Or waving happily like you’re a kid who just spotted Santa Claus in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade? No? You say you can only see yourself looking away shyly, and looking back at her ten minutes later, praying she’ll toss you an absolutely unmistakeable signal of interest? That is why you fail.

Now here’s a nonverbal opener I like to do in low-key venues filled with obstacles that make instant, direct verbal approaches more problematic. If a girl meets my gaze, I’ll theatrically rub my chin, tilt my head and furrow my brow as if I’m assessing her for facial imperfections. Then I’ll drop my hand a bit from my chin, raise my eyebrows, squint, and nod slowly while doing that Robert DeNiro half-frown, half-smirk of sudden comprehension, as if I have realized she’s cute enough for further consideration. Sometimes, this charade elicits a blank stare, or even a sourpuss. But most of the time, the girl reacts positively, occasionally bordering on gleeful surprise. And if I have got a girl to smile from across the room, that just makes the approach shortly to follow that much easier to execute.

Does all this sound gay to you? Ok, Stoic Alpha Male Lumberjack, it’s way gay for you. But guess which man she’ll be thinking about the rest of the week? That’s right, the guy who stuck his tongue out at her.

If you aren’t embedding yourself in girls’ minds, you aren’t seducing them at all.

I understand that these sorts of expressive, perhaps histrionic, nonverbal openers require a certain thespian facility with manipulating one’s face and body, and a certain level of comfort with making a spectacle of oneself in potentially crowded arenas, and that many men, especially the shoe-gazing introverts, will find such contortions and stagecraft beyond their ken. If you are the sort who finds the idea of performance art intolerable, then there are other avenues for you to unleash your inner flirt. But for more extroverted or experimental men, the nonverbal “pre-opener” is like the cluster bomb of shock pulsing girls out of their tawdry, affected ennui. And you know what else? It’s fun to do!

Naturally, your acting chops will go to waste if you don’t capitalize on her freshly inspired feelings of warmth and good will toward you. You’ll need to do that follow-up, and you’ll need to have something to say. Reader immoralgables offers a suggestion for a cocky verbal opener that can be congruently squeezed into a whole slew of contexts:

A few weeks ago me and my good friend were sarging in the West Village. Him and I were chatting and plotting our next move when i noticed this one HB8 glancing at me for half a second.

I immediately dropped the convo with my wing and without hesitation went to the Hb8 and told her to stop treating me like a piece of meat and that I have feelings too, etc.

It was the first time I didn’t even think about approaching a hot girl; I just did it because I was opening girls all night so I didn’t care by that point. The reaction I got from her was awesome. She did not expect me to initiate like that and so directly.

I of course fucked up shortly thereafter but for those few minutes I knew exactly what Heartiste is talking about.

There is nothing inherently anti-game or beta about visually scanning a room to check out which girls meet your exacting standards. The problem comes when you abuse the safe effortlessness of the visual scan, and rely on it to the exclusion of more active real world interactions with women to forge an active fantasy world. This is why I suggest you get out of the habit of “checking girls out”, and get into the habit of speaking (or charming) girls up.

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