Players and unaffiliated men who labor to pass on the Good Word of Game usually admonish neophytes that borderline uncomfortable numbers of approaches need to be made in order to become proficient at pickup. You’ve got to get out there and talk to more women than you would normally do in the course of a nondescript day.
This message is a good one. You won’t get good at the crimson arts until you’ve put in some real world practice interacting with lots of different women. The exact number is irrelevant; whether it takes you ten or one thousand approaches to improve doesn’t change the undeniable reality that very few men have the ability to go from video gaming malaise to WunderJuan on their first approach.
You could say that the approach mentality, at least during the learning curve stage, is a core principle of game.
There’s one other core game principle that I don’t see mentioned very much, if at all, in the pickup literature. In my view, it’s just as important a principle as approaching girls enough times to trespass beyond your comfort zone. That principle is the “find and foment her flaws” theory.
The idea is simple. Every woman you meet, from friend to love prospect to the barest acquaintance, and every woman who crosses your field of visual inspection, will be subject to your exceedingly judgmental eye. You will search, find and declare to yourself her flaw or flaws. If propriety and privacy allows it, you will verbalize her flaw so that it may become cemented in your wavering cortex and banish all doubt of the flaw’s authenticity. It is a well-kown fact among the big-toothed motivational speaker circuit that saying aloud slogans of self-encouragement or life goals helps the chanter sculpt corporeal heft to his dreams.
So, for example, you see a woman in the mall riding an escalator. Her sundress flounces insouciantly from above you. An incipient boner stirs. But this time, instead of allowing your beta twerpitude the run of your skullcase and straining to catch imagined glimpses of panty, you silence the dork force and, with proud stentorian innerauthority, jot a solid mental note of her larger-than-ideal thighs. Safe distance permitting, you might even rumble in a dampened voice to yourself, “Hm, thunder thighs. Too much speckle.”
You will enact this devious scheme for every attractive and not-so-attractive woman who has the misfortune of falling prey to your daggered gaze. Only the obvious sexual market losers of femaledom — the grossly obese, the crassly ugly, the desiccated old — will be exempt, for their flaws are so prominently obscene they need no reminding nor rooting.
What is the purpose of Principle #2? To balance gender sheets?
Certainly, you could argue with strong evidence that women are particularly unforgiving of men’s flaws, in the private if not in the public, being as how they are slaves to a much more powerful hypergamous force that excels at weeding out stellar-lite suitors with extreme prejudice. A little harsh judgment from you is just giving women a taste of the moldy bread they daily give to men.
But, no, that’s not the purpose, as vengefully titillating as that seems. The purpose is purely practical. The finding and fomenting of women’s flaws conditions the beta male mind to accept the attainability of women, and to discard the reflexive sanctification of women. No master seducer who ever lived believed even one woman was unattainable by him, nor that any woman was a flawless vessel of purity. The seducer loves women, but his love is vast enough to revel in women’s flaws. And that is why he wins.
The beta male who conditions himself thus, by his efforts to discover the flaws in women kept hidden to him by the shadow of his turgid lust cast around his vision, will slowly feel the power and the strength of the Attitude, that indomitable voice that rises like the Great Scrotum from the pubic patch and delivers with valedictorian presumption the message that no woman is out of reach or free of exploitable insecurities, the exploiting of which by a savvy man she herself would be ashamed to admit thrills her to the clitbone.
Returning to escalator girl, here are some more examples of flawmobbing.
I can already hear the gripers. “But I just saw the hottest chick ever and she looked PERFECT! I couldn’t find anything wrong with her.”
There is always something wrong with a girl, no matter how beautiful. You may have to dig a little deeper, but you’ll find her thermal exhaust port with a practiced keen eye. Note that any of the above can easily apply to the hottest girl you have ever seen. That’s the beauty of the flawfinding mission: it unearths the normally overlooked blemishes scattered among a girl’s mien that her general beauty tends to obscure to men. If you socialize with a girl and gain insight into her personality, you have even more data from which to devise withering, silent judgments.
Once you have gotten reliable at noticing and promoting women’s flaws, their beauty will no longer hold such paralyzing power over you. Conditioned to emphasize a woman’s worst and attenuate her best, you will become a cad machine, irresistible to the fairer sex who will react shaken from their stupor by your dispassionate demeanor and feel the threat of your pervasive critical eye with senses aflame.
Maxim #30: Ignore a woman’s flaws at your peril. They are the key to reconfiguring your perception, and thus her attainability.
A reader urgently requested an answer to this post’s heading.
I’m certain Le Chateau has covered this issue before, but the archives are huge and formidable, so I’ll offer an update here.
If you initially tried to ingratiate yourself to a girl you want to fuck by spinning into beta orbiter mode, listening with growing ball pain to her woes about assholes she’s banging, and predictably getting friendzoned as a result, I can assure you that getting OUT of a friend zone and into a lover zone is far more difficult than working from scratch as an unabashed lover prospect. Once a girl has it in her head that you are a harmless castrati, an abrupt shift to incongruent sexiness will jolt her comfortable feelings of safety and security. She’s a good bet to lash out in anger, spite and emotional distancing. If you are a beta at your core, you will then make the situation worse by apologetically backpedaling and begging her to remain friends with you so that you may go home and vigorously masturbate your pimplepeen to the memory of her elbow lightly brushing against your arm when she hastily reached for her cell to take a call from your white whale.
So, my first piece of advice:
Don’t let yourself get into a scenario where friendzoning is possible.
You should be flirting all the time and dropping bits of sexual innuendo. Let a girl know, through subtle cues, that you are a sexual creature right up front. This is what successful players mean by “make your intentions known”. They don’t mean “go up to a chick and tell her you love her body and want to spill your sin all over it”. (Well, sometimes that works.) They mean that you should be innocuously flirting, with plausible deniability, sooner rather than later, so that her subconscious registers you as an alpha male not to be trifled with nor cavalierly tossed into the LJBF discount bin.
If, however, you do find yourself in the friend zone, the way out of it is… drum roll please… scarcity.
Disappear. Vamoose. Deprive her of the happy nonsexual emotional support she’s come to expect from you.
It’s a bit more complicated that that, but that’s the gist of the “LJBF2Lover” program. In detail, it would look like this:
1. Knock her out of her comfort zone with a surprise flirtatious vibe. Don’t overextend this. Too much shock to her system will drive her into a cocoon. You want to give her a small buzz, not an electric storm that immediately activates her anti-beta male, egg-preserving bitch shield.
2. After your flirty expectation sabotage, promptly pull back into beta orbiter mode as if nothing unusual happened. Your goal is to strike a hot iron at the girl’s subconscious without alerting her conscious awake state. If she calls you out on your flirt, act like she’s weird for bringing it up. “I hope you don’t get the wrong idea” is a great line to drop at that moment.
3. Leave her on a good (i.e. congruent) note. But leave her for at least two weeks. During the interim, if your LJBF is strong, she will attempt to contact you asking why, as a friend, you’ve been incommunicado. Again, chastise her for being needy, and tell her you’ve been busy. Do not explain yourself beyond that.
4. Meet her again. Repeat the above three steps, with the exception that you will amp up the intensity and frequency of your sexual, aloof vibe each new time you hang out with her. You are in the process of acclimating her to your new, sexual self.
5. You can speed up the process by actively flirting with other girls in her field of view. Jealousy is the most powerful hacksaw against the chains of the friendzone.
6. When enough time has passed, and your shift from asexual lump to cocky bastard is almost complete, drop the following line on her (with brow deviously furrowed in deep, phony concern): “You’ve been flirting like crazy. I think we should be apart for a while so we don’t risk our friendship.” Wham. Game dynamite with the fuse attached right to her hamster’s anus. You’ve implied she’s falling for you, you’ve disqualified yourself by insisting that you need time away from her, and you’ve flipped the script so that any further interaction would require some amount of chasing by her.
7. If she agrees with you, admit defeat (to yourself) and move on. The LJBF was too powerful to overcome. If you have made an impact on her perception of you, her attitude will be different. She will act confused, half-heartedly agreeing only as a default response with nothing better to say, or disagreeing in mild protest. “Nooo, I’m not flirting with you.” (The very act of verbalizing this will put her in a chaser frame of mind.) Or: “Nooo, we can still be friends.” Either way, insist that you’re right to spend time apart until “the heat cools off”. But if she can “control herself around you”, you might be OK with hanging with her some more.
8. Segue like a diabetic tourist. Forcefully move the conversation away from the drama that just went down. Act like she’s a girl you just met. Gauge for positive reception. If she attempts to pull you back into a friendship frame, the attitude you want to avoid is sounding resentful. She’s testing you for congruency with your new identity. A funny quip like “Oh, man, it’s just not the same anymore. I already miss the old you” should do the trick to pass her test. Again, hit on another girl in front of her. Leave prematurely.
9. At some point you’ll have to make a bold move for her vagina. This is when verbal game stops and physical game revs into high gear. A lot of recovering betas make the mistake of letting the attraction and comfort phase of pickup drag on too long, for fear of losing the good feelings they are engendering in the woman to a sloppy bedroom move. “You’ve never seen this part of my life” is a great line to use on a former LJBF to persuade her to come to your place. It ignites a sense of wonder in her that she will presume is missing with a man she (thinks she) knows very well.
10. Does the above sound like a lot of work? You’re right, it is! Accept the challenge of converting an LJBF for its own sake, but if lay efficiency is your goal, you’d be better off pawning that girl buddy into social circle game with her hot, and relatively unfamiliar, friends.
If you aren’t touching women early and often during a pickup attempt, you’re handicapping yourself.
Even non-sexual social contact can raise body temperature.
Researchers at the University of St Andrews found that non-sexual social interactions with men caused a noticeable rise in the temperature of a woman’s face, without them even noticing. […]
Lead author Amanda Hahn, explained, “We used a thermal camera to record skin temperature during a standard ‘social interaction’ where we measured participants’ skin colour at ‘non-personal’ (i.e. the arm and palm of the hand) and ‘personal’ (i.e. the face and chest) locations on the body. The thermal response was dramatic when the male experimenter made contact at ‘personal’ locations.”
While it may not be surprising that people have a physiological response to social contact, the size of the reaction was surprising. Hahn commented, “We observed some women whose facial temperature increased by an entire degree (Celsius) during interaction with the male experimenter.
“This thermal change was in response to simple social interaction, without any experimental change to emotion or arousal. Indeed our participants did not report feeling embarrassment or discomfort during the interaction.”
The study, published later this month in Biology Letters, shows that gender alone influenced the reaction of women, who showed no response to interaction with other women.
Sexual arousal and body temperature fluctuations (the literal manifestation of “buying temperature”) are intimately entwined, so much so that neglecting to elicit body temp spikes in women will make the process of seducing them more difficult. If your hands aren’t exploring a woman’s body while talking to her, you are flirting with the disaster of getting friend-zoned.
It’s already been demonstrated that touching a woman lightly on the arm will increase the odds that she will give you her number. Now we have scientific evidence that touching will dramatically raise a woman’s body temperature, especially in the facial region. Note that the women in the study did not respond to the touch of other women; it was only the wandering hands of men who got them flushed in the face. Note also that none of the women claimed to feel discomfort when the men touched them; their body temp rise was unrelated to any feeling that they were being threatened or their personal space was being invaded.
The difference in temperature rise between getting touched on the palm/arm and the chest/face was large, although there was a small rise elicited from simple arm touching. Game theory is very clear on the importance of kino and how it should progress (by “escalation”), so these studies are simply gravy on top of what is already experimentally proven by thousands of men running game in the field. To recap:
– It’s better to touch a girl more than you think is comfortable than to avoid touching too much because you think it would make a girl uncomfortable.
– Always touch sooner rather than later, and more often rather than too infrequently.
– Begin your touching on innocuous parts of a girl’s body, like the forearm and hand, and gradually move to more erogenous zones of her body, like the small of her back, the upper arm, the thigh and even her face. Also gradually increase the duration and pressure of your touching.
– The “slow boiling frog” principle is at work here. If you move too quickly from “safe zone” to erogenous zone, you might spook a girl. But more gradual kino escalation will allow you to touch “danger zones” with impunity.
– Don’t touch extremely charged body areas in public spaces. There’s too much risk of activating a girl’s anti-slut mechanism. Save the petting for private areas.
I’ve often wondered (well, not that often) why, if kino is critical to success with women, so many beta males (who, as a reminder, occupy the bulk of the male population) are so skittish about touching women? Now I have a theory. Lacking the confidence of their caddish convictions, it makes sense to betas to avoid boldness in action with women who are less likely to assume their impertinences. There is a real risk, in other words, of a crippling incongruency should the beta male decide to kino with a fury without the requisite overconfidence to sway the ladies and gird his fortitude.
From the female perspective, instinctively welcoming kino at a deep physiological level — that is, readying herself for sex in the most shamefully unfeminist manner — is actually a sub-subconscious biological shit test that signals to a girl who among the men hitting on her has the alpha goods. If her vestigial vellous hairs rise automatically at the touch of a man’s hand, any man’s hand, and her cheeks glow a rosy hue, then it’s a simple evolutionarily-greased leap of logic to be more open to the entreaties of men cocksure enough to touch her than to the hovering hands of “creepy” beta males. The act of touching — especially if exercised with devil-may-care élan — is sort of a preselection for alpha attitude that women use to screen men into despondent categories of desirable and undesirable.
As always, a jaunt through the female hamster brain is illuminating. We’ll compare what escapes like a hissing balloon out of a termagant feminist’s mouth to what the gentlehamster underneath it all actually thinks.
Asply-coiled feminist: “Unwanted touching ANYWHERE on my body is sexual harassment!!”
♥Hamster♥: “I can’t explain in socially approved turns of phrase why I feel closer to this guy.”
Misfiring pistoned-feminist: “You WILL respect my boundaries!”
♥Hamster♥: “This guy hasn’t touched me once in a half hour of talking to me. So much respect, but so little chemistry.”
Yoko Ono in a chokehold mid-warble feminist: “Check your male privilege at the door!”
♥Hamster♥: “This man is very comfortable touching me. That shows confidence. Which must mean he has a lot of experience with women. Which really turns me on.”
♥♥Hamster’s hamster♥♥: “…thus improving the odds that any son I have with this man will grow up to inherit the same pussy slaying skills, spreading my genes yonder and hither.”
As most of you are beta males, you should take this post to heart and begin training your reflexes away from automatic discomfort at the thought of touching women and toward taking liberties with their personal spaces. You may think you are disrespecting women, but in fact you are respecting their vaginas. Don’t be surprised if, after a few months of violating every known feminist taboo, you wind up not in a diversity seminar, but between the sheets with a very satisfied woman.
To praise, or not to praise? “seeking truth” asks:
The transition from sleeping often with women of assorted beauty and quality, over the past 8 years, to recently establishing a longer-term serious relationship with what I consider quite a valuable women is an interesting dilemma. Clearly there are long-term issues to excessively praising a woman, as constant exposure to praise will naturally lead one to lower the value of praising party, through over-exposure. However, when one is happy it is easy and natural to express the reasons for ones happiness. What is the balance?
What is your take on the long-term potential of a relationship strategy that involves praise for a woman’s strong points – Fun loving, Funny, Quick, Smart, Loving, Affectionate, and Attractive in large helpings of each, with a somewhat raunchy, nasty, perverted objectification of her as a sex object required to submit/please, along with occasional reminders of how successful and easy it has been to create hook-up situations?
For example, saying i love you and the same breath telling her to practice stretching so she can be manipulated for an easier pounding during an upcoming trip. Does the sexual objectification offset the Betazoid aspects of praise?
I am finding the application of game interesting and looking to better understand its various implementations to sort out a comfortable role for it in relationships.
Here are three key seduction maxims to live by.
Better to err on the side of too much boldness than too little.
Better to err on the side of too much assholery than not enough.
Better to err on the side of too little praise than too much.
Do you know what happens to guys who cravenly praise their girlfriends day in and day out? They get dumped. Or tossed into sexual solitary confinement. Or taken for granted, if they’re lucky.
Do you know what happens to guys who are stingy with their praise? They get more sex than they can handle. They also get some drama, but… would you rather deal with drama or getting dumped?
I hope this lesson has reached home. Man, I have known guys who:
1. never complimented their GFs’ looks
2. never complimented their GFs’ smarts
3. never complimented their GFs’ personalities
but who had their GFs wrapped around their fingers. Even funnier, their GFs complimented *them* all the time, and all they answered in return was a head nod or a “you bet”. Isn’t love grand?
Now this doesn’t mean you have to go ice cold aloof ninja to sustain a loving relationship. As men, when we love a woman, we feel urges to compliment her. It’s a natural by-product of wanting to sex her hot bod with extreme defilement. And, it makes us feel good to throw her a bone of flattery. But betas completely surrender themselves to this urge, and it costs them. Alphas channel this urge, and it pays dividends. The Goldilock’s Principle is definitely in play. Allow me to open a window into a woman’s head, so you can see how your praise is received by her subterranean neuronal rhythms.
Excessive praise ===> “I can do better than him”
No praise ===> “He doesn’t love me”
Just the right kind and amount of praise ===> “I love him”
The first one will corrupt your LTR. The second one will corrode your LTR, but only after a very long time has passed. The third one will feed her hamster juuuuust enough pellets to keep her wondering, guessing, loving, and desiring.
There is a flattery balance to strike that won’t DLV yourself, and here are some guidelines to reaching that balance:
1. Never praise your girlfriend from a position of weakness.
There’s no worse time to lavish your woman with compliments than when she’s giving you the cold shoulder. But, men being men and unable to comprehend the maddening illogic of the female mind, that’s usually the time when they can’t stop praising their girlfriends. She’s snapping at you? Butter her up! She’s withholding sex? Ring up the excessive compliments! She’s being a raging bitch? Tell her how great she is! And then plead forgiveness of your sins!
Lord almighty, is this what the church of white knightery teaches men nowadays? You couldn’t do more harm to your cause had you tucked your junk between your legs, kneeled and begged her to touch your pee pee from behind.
The absolute WORST time to flatter your girl is when she is making your life miserable. Why would you reward bad behavior? Make like the pussy whisperer and train your woman not to crap in your face. Betas have no game except cloying flattery and “””supportiveness”””, so their instinct is to turn to that in times of turmoil and layer it on thick as can be. And you know the gruesome results of that: the woman feels even more repulsed by his presence.
No, when you praise or compliment or act supportive, ALWAYS do it from a position of strength. If you’re wondering when that is, it’s when she’s fawning over you, or begging you to irrigate her furrow as you brush your dick tauntingly across her pink eggplant, or singing your praises to her friends, or just generally acting like a sweet, feminine woman in your company.
2. Never be consistent in how, or how often, you flatter your girlfriend.
Two predictable compliments a day, like a doctor’s order, is going to get tiring real fast. She should never know when you might deign to make her feel loved. And she should never hear the same damn turn of phrase every day either. The best times to praise your girl are when she least expects it, and that is usually when something else is happening and her attention is distracted from “you and her”. I like to toss out a compliment when she’s just dribbled food onto her blouse, or whisper a loving bon mot in her ear as she’s trying on clothes in front of the mirror. Unpredictability is as arousing to women as full firm tits are to men. Which leads to…
Maxim #55: The training of the woman distills to this essence: Punish her bad behavior consistently, reward her good behavior intermittently.
Enjoy your vagina deluge.
3. Flatter her in public.
You know what really flutters a girl’s heart? When you say something nice about her in front of her friends. That’s a relationship boost and a social status boost in one. Nonsexual public praise is the safer bet, but sexual public praise, if done right, can make her heart explode.
4. Praise those things about her that will redound to your benefit.
Sure, it’s easy to lapse into praising a woman’s most obviously enticing features, like her eyes or luscious lips. But she has little control over those advantages she enjoys. But if you praise her attractive behavior… “I love they way you’re so affectionate. It’s really sexy and so rare to find in a woman nowadays”… you encourage more of that positive behavior from her in the future.
Similarly, if you go the physical route, praising your girl’s ass will have the most impact when she just got back from the gym. She’ll want to keep going to the gym to earn more of that praise.
5. Use adjectives.
Chicks dig the adjective. Lots of them. Nice eyes? Meh. Orbs of liquid blue allure? Plow me! Caveat: Lawyercunts tend to balk at adjectives, because they are unfeminine and have incipient clit dicks. Just tell them you’re gonna rape them in two, and watch their love pour forth.
6. Always substitute nonverbal praise for verbal praise when you can.
Pinching her ass and smiling is more effective than telling her she has a great ass.
7. Substitute “we” for “you” in your compliments, when you can.
It’s the difference between putting her on a pedestal, and leaving a spot for her on your pedestal.
8. Romantic contrast is king.
If you always tell your girl “you’re so pretty”, she will expect the same endearment next time. If you always tell your girl “you’re ass is so righteous I’m gonna fill it with my religion”, she will expect the same perversion next time. But if you sweetly woo her “I love the way we kiss” as you’re leaving for work in the morning, and then hoarsely whisper to her “your ass is so hot my dick wants to wear it as a sombrero” when you return in the evening, she’ll have two orgasms, one for her and one for her hamster. Squeak!
9. Rarity is the glow of clits.
If you get a great reaction from your flattery, don’t beat it to death. Stop, drop and change the subject. You’d be amazed how many betas will sabotage their brief moments of glory by returning over and over to the same well. Any sort of praise of a woman ought to be, by natural habit and sincere discernment, a rare and welcomed thing. Most men have the problem of overestimating the right amount of praise. The right amount is much less than men think. If I had to estimate, one week between compliments is a good rough number to shoot for within an established LTR. Whatever number, it should never be more than the number of compliments *she* lavishes on you. Abide the Golden Ratio (see the 16 Commandments at the top of the blog). Note: raunchy talk is technically not praise, so you can raunch it up often without worrying about DLVing yourself, though it’s a good idea to dish that out irregularly, for the same reasons you would be spare in your nonsexual flattery.
10. Finally, praise feminine qualities, not masculine qualities.
Do you want to turn your sweet petunia into a proud feminist with a jagged fault line running straight through her soul? Then why are you complimenting her “ambition”? Men with no clue often think women want to hear what they would like to hear. No. Women want to hear that you acknowledge and love their unique gifts — their femininity, their generosity, their softness, their sexiness. It’s similar to how men get tired of hearing their women praise their “muscles”. Ladies, you really want to strike the gooey center of your man’s heart? Tell him you love how he commands a room. Bam. You’ve just won an extra 30 seconds of lovemaking.
I hope this clears the matter for you. Compliments are garnishes, not the main dish. Nobody wants to eat a full plate of parsley. And remember, disapproving of her flaws is as crucial to LTR management as offering praise of her… talents. More crucial, I’d say, because a missed compliment won’t lower your value like a missed reprimand will.
[W]hen I first learned of game, I saw the videos of these dudes and thought what fags these dudes looked like! I wondered if these feminine-sounding PUAs actually liked the women or they were just playing a fun game like dress-up or doll-house.
A few posts back I submitted a link to a study that showed how women talk can reveal how self-centered they are (I can’t find or remember link right now) by using “I” so much. Ex. Upon asking them what the weather will be like tomorrow, they could say, “It will be cold,” or they could say, “I don’t know; I think I heard on the television it would be cold.” The girl that answers the first way isn’t self-centered. The girl that answered the second way, using three instances of “I” is self centered. Watch a group of hot girls talk. What’s the first response each of them says after one of their friends says something? It’s, “I know, I know right!” Isn’t that a trip!
So, I can neg the group with this concept in a masculine way, but when I highlight the examples of how women answer questions to reveal their self-centeredness, I can go all gaylike on them and mimic their feminine responses. Win/Win.
People like to talk about themselves; it’s fun and it makes us feel happier. The problem with identifying the self-centered girl in any group is that there are so many of them. Where to begin? Most women are self-absorbed by nature; it comes with the territory when you are, biologically and hence psychologically, the more valuable sex. This is why women should never have been given the vote; when the world revolves around you, it’s not a huge rationalization leap to decide that the world owes you lots of gimmedats.
But there are girls who defy even the bounds of their own sex and exhibit a level of conceit and self-focus that would shock even a bar top dancing whore. It behooves the master hamster seducer (where all seductions must begin) to know who these girls are, for they can be your greatest ally if harnessed correctly, or your worst enemy if left untended.
Find out which girl in the group is the most self-centered by listening for overwrought first-person singular pronoun usage, but also by watching for which girl is constantly interrupting someone else’s conversation to interject her opinion or exclamation, or which girl is moving her body forward into the group’s center of mass to draw attention to herself. This is the girl who will assuredly cockblock you if you don’t take preemptive countermeasures. (Example: “Who brought their attention-seeking little sister along?”)
Unusually self-centered girls are narcissists par excellence, and they love “screening” men for their friends and playing matchmaker, when they aren’t actively stealing those men away from their friends. This eternal cycle of drama feeds their insatiable egos, for the girl who self-loves more than she loves has a paradoxically fragile ego that requires a steady injection of external validation to keep it respirating.
BD’s suggestion to neg the ego-driven girls by mimicking their female solipsism is an ancient craft, and one I’ve used many times. Girls love it when you make fun of their girl-isms, and this can be in the form of aping their words or their mannerisms (easy to do if you have observed enough girls socializing and have a handle on their gender’s peculiarities). This is another one of those rapport-building techniques that is so powerful it can be easily overdone. Just a little to spike buying temps, and not more, or you risk sounding like a clown. And a gay clown, at that.
Or you could dispense with all this keen psychological acumen, and just drop a killa line on a girl like the one my buddy uses on occasion: “Does this fine pocket square smell like chloroform to you?” 1% of the time, it works every time.
I promised to do a review of Justin Wayne’s daygame video, because he is apparently a rising star in the proactive seduction subculture. (All life is a seduction, but only a few good men are proactive about the enterprise.) Wayne is an advocate of direct street game. In the video below, in which he demonstrates both direct and indirect game, you can see an example of his direct game starting at 2:25.
He makes his sexual intentions known up front, but then quickly “backtracks” with a nonsexual comment about her “artsy vibe”. (I will refrain from making jokes about chicks who major in philosophy and their sexual predilections.)
He uses a classic time constraint at 3:22.
He initiates kino (at 3:25) much sooner than most men would feel comfortable doing, and holds it for a long time. Critically, he defuses the inherent tension in prolonged kino (with, keep in mind, a total stranger on the street) by engaging in small talk. This is “contrast is king” type of game. As the liner notes to the video explain, her forebrain is logically engaged while her hindbrain is emotionally engaged.
At 3:41, he throws out a compliance test, which she obliges, thus establishing his dominance (girls love to be led).
At 3:48, he verbalizes the fact that he approached a girl on the street and notes its inherent strangeness; playful verbalization of outrageous seduction tactics can help deflect a girl’s suspicion and fear, and decrease the odds she will later flake.
At 4:05 onward, he shifts into persistence game, which is hard to pull off if you aren’t rock solid confident and congruent with it (a lot of men will cave way to early in the process, thus blowing themselves out). Persistence game is dangerous; it can EASILY come off as creepy and needy if you don’t know how to do it right. When I think of persistence game gone bad, I think of drunk frat boys forcing themselves on recalcitrant girls, not taking the hint, and then insulting the girls when they get blown out.
At 5:00, he contrasts his bold kiss maneuver with some neutral, nonsexual small talk again (this gambit reduces the risk that she will perceive him as a player.)
5:47 — “ANYway…” I don’t like the way she said “anyway”, harsh and staccato. It sounds like she’s punctuating a desire to get away.
5:50 — Or not. She gives him her number. But is this an expedient, insincere number close, or a genuine desire to get in touch again? I can’t really tell without seeing her facial expression up close. Would love to know the follow-up to this.
Verdict
This is great game for natural extroverts. If you approach ten chicks this way on the street each week for one month, I guarantee you WILL get laid, even if you’re short and below average in looks. But I suspect a lot of my readers are natural introverts, so they probably shuddered at the thought of doing what Wayne did to pull that chick. I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you wallflowers; if you’re an introvert, it’s going to be extraordinarily taxing on your psyche to direct game girls the way Wayne does. 1,000 approaches might help you control your fear and anxiety, but it won’t ever get rid of it. Introverts who use direct approaches are quite literally warring against their own brains. An introvert has to control not just the girl’s perception of him, but his own perception of himself.
I really don’t expect introverts to do this type of direct game with ease, or with any regularity. I think for them, indirect daygame is the way to go, and Roosh’s “elderly chat” system of warming up a girl in conversation is better suited for the natural introvert who balks at doing direct sexualized approaches. Unfortunately for introverts, success in game is going to require some amount of stressful social interaction with random girls. The days of waiting for your extended family to set you up with a girl who works at your mom’s friend’s cousin’s office are over. Indirect game minimizes the stress of the random approach, but won’t eliminate it. You shy guys will just have to grit your teeth and learn to handle a bit of discomfort. The much-derided game routines can serve as a crutch to help you navigate these inherently tense pickup scenarios.
***
Ok, moving along to the second part of the video, at 6:56 begins the “Indirect Day Game” portion, where Wayne approaches a Slavic siren in the mall. The indirect opener he used was “Excuse me, from the way you’re dressed, you seem like you do something artistic… what do you do”. (I missed the “tester” he throws out to determine how receptive she was to his approach, so I can’t comment on that. The tester concept is interesting as it allows you to switch from direct to indirect on the fly, depending on how friendly she is to your direct opener.)
Just like in the direct approach above, he asks the girl’s name before he has built any attraction. This is not my style, as I typically assume that asking a girl’s name is an indicator of interest best left for later when she has earned my interest, but it doesn’t seem to hinder Wayne’s progress with the girls. Maybe asking for the girl’s name early on is necessary in day/street game.
At around 7:30, he goes on a long-ish elderly chat-style ramble about some story of this girl he knew who eats chalk. The point of the story is to move the convo from awkwardly formal to comfortably casual. He then calls himself out for his “weird association thing” relating her name to his story. Calling yourself out to a girl is a great way to neutralize potentially awkward social interpretations that a girl would normally have in the middle of a convo with a guy she just met who is talking about a girl who eats chalk.
8:22 — the kino half-hug. But this hug is less about escalation and more about gauging her receptiveness and comfort. He then offers words of encouragement as she talk about her job search (btw, this chick is hot, just noticed that), and she begins to open up.
9:15 — DHV. Well-played, not too obvious. A great way to frame DHVs is to speak them quickly, so that she does not have time to doubt your sincerity as you will not be perceived to be waiting for a positive reaction from her. Quick release DHVs embed your value in her subconscious.
9:41 — “You seem kind of cool.” His first qualification line. (Although, tbh, she doesn’t seem kind of cool at all. She seems like a stick in the mud.)
9:58 — Very subtle neg. Accuses her of having a baby face and looking fifteen. This moves the convo in a more seductive direction.
10:20 — “I’m shy.” Vulnerability game. It’s obvious he’s not shy, so admitting to shyness doesn’t lower his value.
At 10:40, she qualifies herself. “But I write poetry!” He validates her with a hug and an exaggerated “I love you sooo much”. She smiles genuinely for the first time.
11:05 — Wayne says, “I graduated college.” See postscript below.
11:56 — IHAB objection! This is the first shit test she throws out, which means the interaction is heating up. (Girls don’t shit test guys they are completely indifferent to.) He passes her shit test when he says “It’s Ok, we can just make love!” Now he switches to direct game because the shit test signaled it was time to drop the social chit chat.
12:20 — She goes to give her number. She seems to be hesitating, fumbling for a phone she says she doesn’t have on her? I can’t make it out. Again, I wonder if this is a sincere number close, or an excuse for a quick exit?
12:49 — “Do you remember my name?” Isn’t that a DLV? I wouldn’t have asked that, even if I suspected she forgot my name.
13:00 — “I’m Prince Charming.” Nice save. Did she get it? These foreign chicks sometimes don’t get American culture references. When they don’t get them, they stammer around feeling foolish, which may or may not be good for the pickup energy.
13:07 — “Where are you from?” This is the first major IOI she throws out. Lesson: It can take a good five to ten minutes of day gaming a chick before you crack her default bitch shield and earn an IOI from her. So don’t be discouraged by slow progress in the daytime.
13:10 — “Where do you think I’m from? Come one, you’ve been around, you know where people come from.” This is a better answer than simply saying where he’s from. It’s challenging and cocky and unpredictable, the opposite of how a beta would reflexively reply.
14:14 — Hug close. But the hug is weak. A two-finger hug. Her departing words are “Take care. Ok, Ok.” Ugh. Dry and patronizing. But again, that could be a peculiarity of her East Euro opaqueness. And her boyfriend was lurking nearby, out of sight, so she may have been extremely cautious about showing too much interest in Wayne.
Verdict
How much did this “indirect” approach really differ from the previous direct approach pickup attempt? I couldn’t see much of a distinction, except in the details of the opener. Everything else in the two approaches followed the same over-arching game script. I suppose the pacing of the indirect approach was slower and more deliberate, less sexual in tone and far less touching, and that accounts for the longer time it took to close EE chick than it did for him to close philosophy chick.
EE chick’s body language and facial expressions did not scream “aroused and intrigued” to me. She seemed curious and perplexed, and a bit ashamed, which is understandable since she was talking to a strange man within room-shot of her boyfriend. Nevertheless, numbers were exchanged, so you have to give Wayne credit for that.
******
Debriefing
I don’t know if Wayne was able to follow-up with these two girls later and achieve the bang, although supposedly there is video out there of both girls on follow-up dates with him. My impression is that the closes were not particularly strong, if we measure close strength by the girls’ demeanors. The first girl, philosophy chick, giggled a lot, but it was the sort of surprised, awkward giggle that girls do when they feel uncomfortable or unable to fully comprehend what is happening to them. It didn’t sound to me like the loose and unforced giggle of a girl releasing pent-up sexual tension.
The second girl just seemed out of it, as is the wont of East European ice princesses, and although her receptiveness grew as the convo progressed, her body language remained somewhat cold. And she did leave arm-in-arm with her boyfriend, which suggests a future flake is likely.
Finally, I didn’t see a lot of reciprocated touching, flirty badinage, or other body language giveaways by either girl that would indicate growing sexual interest.
However, both pickups, judged by the standards of day game success, were pretty good. (It’s tougher to inspire sexual interest in sober girls during the day than it is at night in bars or clubs when girls are not only drinking, but in an expectant mental space where seduction is anticipated and welcomed.) The first girl did relinquish a kiss to him, after all. How many of you have done that with a girl within five minutes of meeting her on the street? And the second girl exchanged numbers. As day gaming goes, that’s a roaring success. Especially since the second girl’s boyfriend WAS ON THE FUCKING PREMISES when she offered her digits.
Wayne’s forceful, persistent, direct style of approaching girls on the street or in the daytime is a high risk, high reward strategy. You will get blown out a lot more than the guy using indirect, “slow boil” game, but you will get the lay quicker with those girls who love your direct style. As far as lay rate goes, I couldn’t tell you which tactic is more efficient. I tend to rely on indirect game. I don’t like pestering a girl with “Let’s just go for coffee, it’s right over here” ten times in a row. You could say I don’t have the stomach for that, but I prefer to think of it as cutting my losses to find less obstinate prospects.
All in all, I think Wayne’s style of day gaming — on his feet, cold approaching girls in neutral, nonsexual settings — is really designed for extroverts who get thrilled instead of fatigued by social interactions that ratchet up in complexity. For more unassuming guys, the coffeehouse or a restaurant rather than the street or the mall would be better venues for them to try out day game tactics. Indirect style seems a better fit for guys who won’t feel comfortable holding a girl’s hand for a full minute on the street and doing an eskimo kiss.
PS It would be remiss of me not to note that one of the reasons Wayne does so well with these cute white chicks is because he sounds like an intelligent white guy. Had he come across as some ghetto baggy-pants wearing black dude speaking ebonics I strongly suspect most white girls would clutch their purses and move away from him rapidly. I’m pretty sure he knows this, too. But then, this gets back to the power of contrast game. Fucking with a girl’s perceptions is almost as good as actually fucking them.
PPS Some of you are probably itching to ask if Wayne’s game is typical of “black man game”. That is, direct, insistent, sexual, won’t take no for an answer game. Kind of like a classier, upscale version of “Come on baby, you know you want it” ghetto game. To that I say… maybe. I do think black guys take to this style of game better than white guys. (And way better than Asian guys.) It comes more naturally to them. But I’ve seen plenty of white men run similar direct game like Wayne does here, and with a lot of success. Even though Mystery is technically not a “direct daygamer”, you can’t say his approach style was for the faint of heart. Same with Tyler. And Yad runs a very smooth quasi-direct day game approach. And then there’s that white guy from New York whose name escapes me who approaches a lot of chicks in the middle of the day and goes direct on them.
PPPS I went over some direct game essentials here. My suggestion to go “direct-indirect-direct” doesn’t differ much from Wayne’s approach system.
Something that gets lost in discussions about seducing women is the speed aspect of the endeavor. Pickup used to be called speed seduction for a reason: it was a human social technology specifically designed to maximize the arousal of women and minimize the time and resource investment needed to bed them.
(For those smart alecks who say “Just be Brad Pitt and you won’t have to do anything to pick up women!”, kindly remind yourselves that famous men usually had to spend many years devoted to their craft before they hit the fame jackpot.)
I knew a guy who was a natural with women — i.e., he had imbued game concepts from an early enough age that the alpha way to act around women came second-nature to him, and his interactions glimmered with unrehearsed élan. Anyhow, something I noticed he often did with women was playfully fuck around with their names. (He never offered his name until he first learned a girl’s name.)
For example, if the girl told him her name was Ann, he would riff a stream of dorky permutations on her name in a deadpan manner.
“annster” “wham bam thank you ann” “ANNdle with care” “this ann is your ann, this ann is my ann”
You need a minimal degree of creativity to pull this off, but the result usually gets the girl smiling. More importantly, it signaled to girls that 1. he didn’t give a shit what they thought about his humor and 2. he was the sort of guy a girl could be instantly friendly toward without feeling awkward.
And really, a big component of successful seductions is the ability to quickly make a girl feel comfortable in your presence — to fast-track familiarity. And the way to do this is to put a girl at ease that you won’t make the mistake of deep-sixing a conversation with social clumsiness borne of low confidence and inexperience spending time with women.
Other FTF tactics he would use included the “Marry, Fuck, Kill” and “If you had to choose…” games, which he would launch into without any proper segue at all.
(“If you had to choose…” is my favorite because it’s awesome at getting girls to reveal their values. “If you had to choose between waking up next to Jonah Hill or waking up next to Charlize Theron, which would you choose?”)
I once asked him half-seriously his secret to picking up women. He said, “I cut them off.” By that, he meant he would cut off their conversation to inject whatever stupid shit happened to pop into his head (and which, coincidentally, would move the discussion in a more fruitful sexual direction). “But isn’t that rude?” “Nah, not to girls. Guys would think it was rude, but guys aren’t girls.”
Words to live by.
Seduction is the art and science (the artence) of shifting a girl’s perception of you from faceless beta null entity to damn-this-dark-triad-jerk-would-fit-nicely-between-my-legs. The words you choose and the demeanor you adopt go a long way to helping, or hindering, your pickup efficiency.
