Game Is Even More Important For Relationships

Game has a reputation among ignoramuses as a player’s handbook for picking up sluts in bars and clubs, but of course these willfully stupid haters are wrong. Not only is game universally attractive to all women, like T&A on a woman is attractive to men, but game as a concept and a strategy is critical to maintaining long-term relationship health. Women do not cease being hypergamously attracted to alpha males once they are in relationships, so game can serve as a welcome corrective to keep women “in the fold”.

A reader writes:

This is a paper you might find interesting (and that betas might find depressing). It claims that women in stable relationships are even more attracted to dominant men when ovulating, compared with single women. Suggesting cheating on LTRs is written deep in women’s genes.

Title: Women’s preference for dominant male odour: effects of menstrual cycle and relationship status

Body odour may provide significant cues about a potential sexual partner’s genetic quality, reproductive status and health. In animals, a key trait in a female’s choice of sexual partner is male dominance but, to date, this has not been examined in humans. Here, we show that women in the fertile phase of their cycle prefer body odour of males who score high on a questionnaire-based dominance scale (international personality items pool). In accordance with the theory of mixed mating strategies, this preference varies with relationship status, being much stronger in fertile women in stable relationships than in fertile single women.

The desire of a woman to rut intimately with an aloof alpha male during her week of ovulation is greater when she’s in a stable relationship with a beta male provider than when she’s single. Chew on that for a second. Your beloved is more likely than the single skank in the bar to tingle for the rude intrusions of alpha cock. And all in service to her genes’ directive to saddle a loyal, unwitting provider chump with the job of helping raise a better cockier man’s issue.

Feeling romantic? Hallmark doesn’t make cards for such occasions.

But only you can prevent vagina fires. Gaming your lover, particularly during her time of ovulation, will keep her in a state of heightened arousal and interest, thereby reducing the chance that she’ll act on her genetic predilection to seek the seed of dominant rivals. Game is more important to relationship management than it is to picking up girls because the cost of losing a girlfriend or wife is much greater than the cost of losing a five minute prospect.

This is why we here at Le Chateau focus so much on relationship game compared to other pick-up sites; the benefits accruing to men in relationships from using game are, both individually and from a societal perspective, more profound in some respects than the rewards from being skilled at bedding numerous women. In the sexual arena, there is no worse sin for a woman to commit, and no graver indignity for a man to suffer, than infidelity motivated by ancient biological urges toward cuckoldry. Game can help contain that evil female impulse, and that’s what makes game truly, a gift from god.

In another grievous blow to feminist and manboob doctrine, this study also highlights the attraction that women have for men who demonstrate personality traits of dominance. So we see here yet another Chateau Heartiste concept validated by science: chicks dig dominant jerks, and dominance is primarily a function of attitude.

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Drive-By Teases

An often unremarked (partly because it goes against the reigning feminist narrative) structural unfairness between the sexes is the amount of effort the average man has to put into dating and relationships to keep them going, compared to the feeble efforts women usually expend on dating momentum and relationship management. The fact is that men (without game) *do* have to commit more energy to courtship and relationships because young, fertile women are the sex in higher demand. Women have to do all of not messing up their looks. (The effort to apply make-up and buy stylish, sexy clothes is nothing compared to the psychological, provisioning and logistical efforts men bring to the table.)

But as we here at the Chateau are fond of saying: life is unfair. Get used to it. Double standards exist and aren’t going anywhere because many of them are emergent properties of fixed, innate sex-based characteristics. Men have no more moral basis to bitch about dating energy expenditure than do women about slut shaming.

But thanks to the wonders of game, men can limit their relationship energy requirements while maximizing the impact each unit of spent energy has on women’s interest levels. In layman’s terms, men can easily spice up relationships (and dates) with almost no effort by employing the drive-by tease. Examples:

• Flush the toilet when she’s in the shower.
• Snap wet towel at her butt. (Should just barely cross line of genuine pain.)
• “Happy Valentine’s Day!” [give her a wrapped box of condoms]
• Put a “pinch my butt” post-it note on her back as she’s heading out for work.
• Slip her car into neutral when she’s driving. (Note: not recommended on women with exceptionally bad driving skills.)
• Turn the light off or unplug her dryer when she’s doing her hair.
• Pretend to throw her cat out the window. (A full throwing motion accompanied by frantic mewing will boost dramatic effect.)
• Never miss a chance to turn a serious question into a glib answer.
• Pretend to accidentally cut off your finger in the kitchen. (Use gobs of ketchup.)
• Replace her cosmetics with crayons.
• Put her panties on her cat (Don’t put them on the dog if the dog is yours. There are some lines not meant to be crossed.)
• Draw smiley faces or penises on her tampons.
• Paint a picture of her. With great fanfare, unveil a stick figure drawing.
• Pull weeds from the yard. Put them in a vase with a sincere love note attached. (Act offended if she doesn’t swoon for your weeds. Keep up the pretense for weeks.)
• Place a giant stuffed animal or clown doll in bed, facing her. When she wakes up, she’ll freak.
• Walk around casually at home with your dick hanging out of your jeans crotch. Call her a perv for noticing.
• Turn her shirts inside out.
• Put a Baby Ruth in her shoe. “Omg, I think the cat pooped in your shoe.”
• Dutch oven. Shower oven. Car oven.
• Honk her tits. Make loud honking noise. Bonus points if you use an air horn.

The drive-by tease is, typically, the non-verbal equivalent of the cocky/funny neg. More elaborate forms qualify as pranks. The DBT subliminally asserts male dominance as well as creativity, both of which are catnip to women. Dominance assertion is telegraphed in any act where the subtext is “I don’t care if you’re offended by this.” Girls like men who don’t walk on eggshells around them. But why?, you ask. Well, because men like that are interpreted by women to have options, that is, a take it or leave it attitude toward women. And a man who can walk away without much fuss is a desirable man. That doesn’t sound very romantic, but in practice when you act like this type of man your life will feel romantic as you are showered with women’s loving romantic love bombs.

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How To Make A Girl Catatonic

Vodka! No, just kidding. Sorta.

Approach anxiety is a common problem for men, and now a scientific study has found that it has probably bedeviled men since the dawn of time, leaving them in a temporarily quasi-retarded state when in the company of beautiful women.

Researchers have begun to explore the cognitive impairment that men experience before and after interacting with women. A 2009 study demonstrated that after a short interaction with an attractive woman, men experienced a decline in mental performance. A more recent study suggests that this cognitive impairment takes hold even when men simply anticipate interacting with a woman who they know very little about.

Another game concept confirmed by science (not like it needed to be). Evolutionarily speaking, I can’t think of a clear reason why it’s advantageous to men to become tongue-tied around pretty girls, but the study authors offer a hypothesis.

Although the studies on their own don’t offer any concrete explanations, Nauts and her colleagues think that the reason may have something to do with men being more strongly attuned to potential mating opportunities. Since all of their participants were both heterosexual and young, they might have been thinking about whether the woman might be a potential date. […]

Overall, it seems clear that whenever we face situations where we’re particularly concerned about the impression that we’re making, we may literally have difficulty thinking clearly. In the case of men, thinking about interacting with a woman is enough to make their brains go a bit fuzzy.

Sounds plausible, but it still doesn’t explain why such “male impairment” around women would evolve — or avoid being selected against — in the first place. It’s pretty well obvious from observing naturals in action that the men with the least anxiety and the nimblest tongues have the most success with women.

Nonetheless, we must abide the reality that for a lot of men, hurdling that first obstacle — approach anxiety — is half the battle to becoming a master seducer. All I can tell you is that it gets easier with practice and especially with success, for each bedding instills an unshakeable confidence that exists separate from the confidence won by success in reproductively proxy male endeavors like sports, career and physique. In the end, it simply comes down to willpower. You either will yourself to approach, or you take the easy route of making excuses for not approaching.

A number of readers have asked if there is something men can do to instill a similar state of catatonia in women. A reasonable request, since it’s easier to seduce a woman in thrall to your very presence. Being famous would certainly do the trick, but that’s out of reach for nearly everyone. Having noticeably higher value than the woman you are approaching is another way to “reverse lobotomize” her. For example, if she’s at an art gallery and you are one of the artists holding court with a small group of local aficionados. Or simple preselection — being seen enjoying the company of other girls — can induce a female version of male mate fright.

But commenter YaReally hits the nail on the head:

Confidently cutting the space between the two of you (ie – get in her face) while locking eye contact.

Very few women can form a coherent sentence in that situation.

When she meets a guy who can approach and stare her down without being nervous? Because his sense of entitlement tells him that he shouldn’t be nervous around her? He’s the guy who fucks her.

Steady, unbreakable eye contact and smooth, slow, controlled strides toward her so that she has a moment to savor her anticipation — these are the simplest and quickest ways for a man to rattle a woman with his intoxicating presence. It works because, as real life observation and science both prove, women are viscerally sexually excited by dominant and overconfident men. And nothing projects both those masculine traits better or faster than alpha body language and direct eye contact. Staring a woman down until she lowers her eyes or looks askance will trigger the submissiveness reflex, and that is a place where she secretly yearns to be.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Try holding eye contact as long as possible with random men and women. Assume a relaxed or smiling expression so that you aren’t mistaken for an angry commuter having a bad day. Start by doing it with people passing you on the sidewalk going the opposite direction, so you know an end to the discomfort is not long off. Even in those walk-by sidewalk situations, where a mere few seconds of eye lock is all that’s required of you, you’ll find it difficult to hold a stranger’s eyes for longer than a split second. The difficulty level will go up if your eye partner is a hot girl or a dominant man meeting you pupil a pupil.

After a few days of this, something almost magical happens. You notice that men break eye contact before you do, and look to the ground. Forced to look up at you (most will be shorter than you), women return your gaze hungrily, uneasily, wonderment gripping their facial expressions, and if your vision is sharp enough you can make out a nearly imperceptible parting of their lips. You begin to feel dominant. And that feeling translates into real dominance and an attitudinal shift, for above all the thing that is attractive about alpha males is their attitude.

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The Other Three Weeks

Game blogs typically focus on aloof alpha game (AAG) that creates and exploits value differentials because it is the form of game that is most poorly understood by the masses of beta males and it is the game with the most untapped potential to quickly and powerfully build an attraction and bond with women, particularly the hot younger women who are most highly prized by men. But there is another aspect of game that is often left under-explored by pickup artists yet is almost as vital to fun, healthy, emotionally fulfilling relationships with women.

I speak of beta reassurance game.

There are perfectly understandable reasons why beta reassurance game (BRG: I will be using nerdy acronyms in this post because I don’t feel like typing out the full terms over and over. Get used to it.) is overlooked:

1. In the early, critical stages of seduction, women respond more viscerally to AAG than to BRG. In fact, unleashing BRG too early will hurt your chances with desirable women, who have more than their share of lickspittle betas doting on them.

2. It’s easy to lose a woman’s sexual interest with too little AAG, as opposed to BRG where too much will turn a woman off. Therefore, the pickup artist’s reaction to this reality is to place more emphasis on AAG at the expense of BRG, since there is a higher risk of not doing enough AAG than there is of doing too much BRG. (The converse — too much AAG or too little BRG — can also turn a woman off, but that dynamic is less pronounced and likelier to occur later in a relationship, after sexual access has been secured.)

3. Most men are beta males by nature, so the core concepts of BRG come to them as naturally as breathing. The concepts underlying AAG are understood by fewer men, so the market for learning AAG is bigger.

4. Most men, especially younger men, who want to do better with women are less interested in the demands of long term relationships than they are in sexual satisfaction. AAG is more applicable to getting laid than it is to the formation and maintenance of LTRs (though by no means is it unimportant to the latter!)

Anyhow, that’s a short list of the reasons why AAG dominates most game discussions. Yet, if we were to carefully plot the trajectories of dying relationships and marriages, a not inconsiderable number of them would have failed because the man distanced himself emotionally or provided insufficient reassurances of emotional fidelity to his woman. The upper crust wife who has a torrid affair with the poolboy because her rich hubby is ignoring her is a stereotype for a reason.

Therefore, it is in your interest as a man to learn and master the chivalric arts of beta provisioning game (without actually providing much materially) as religiously as you train yourself in the dark arts of AAG. A woman in love is aroused both by your dimorphic demonic alphatude and by your crazystickygluey emotional closeness and dependability. The trick is the degree to which you emphasize interchangeability and intimacy.

You say this sounds funny coming from a guy like me? Well, you obviously haven’t been reading closely enough.

In general, for most men, AAG should have primacy over BRG at all stages of pair bonding. BRG is the coin of the realm. It is devalued by debt peonage, unshackled female hypergamy and cultural propagandism. AAG is the dusty tome in the attic the keepers of the social order hope you never find. Unless you are a top 20% alpha male, your problem will likely be a risk of smothering women with too much BRG.

So consider this post directed at alpha males with intimacy (aka desire for pussy variety) issues. But beta males have problems in this area as well. Specifically, I’m thinking of the sort of spergy beta who lacks the intuitive grasp of women’s full panoply of needs, and struggles to summon spontaneous romantic gestures that help cement relationship bonds. Then there is the beta who has tasted the sweet success of seducing women into bed, and overshoots, neglecting the value of the long-term soft sell.

Because, keep in mind, there are three weeks out of every month when women don’t ovulate and get horny for alpha male seed. That’s 75% of a woman’s reproductive life (~15 years) when beta males have a shot. Looked at that way, betas running beta provider game have a leg up on alphas running nothing but aloof and indifferent cad game.

Of course, it’s not quite that simple, but you get the idea. BRG is as legit a form of seduction as AAG.

Yes, women are secretly turned on by men who cheat on them or who intimate that they are cheating on them, but women also like thoughtful romantic gifts, gazing at starlight together, dinners out with other couples and shopping in tandem for scented candles. It is a woman’s greatest curse and an inexperienced man’s greatest aggravation that she should have these two opposing desires within her pulling her apart at the seams. The god of biomechanics is a mischievous prankster fuck.

So, in that spirit, here follows a few off-the-cuff guidelines to refine your BRG.

– Inexpensive gifts that signal you know something about a girlfriend are far better than expensive gifts that signal nothing but how much money you’re willing to spend on her.

– Spontaneous romance beats obligated romance every time.

– Chicks dig little notes. The littler and sweeter, the better. Hide them around the house in spots she’ll eventually find them for maximum effect.

– Be nice to her cat when she’s looking.

– Chivalry is OK if you’re doing it for a long-term GF, and it doesn’t cramp your style. Take the seat in the traffic lane in restaurants. Walk streetside when out with her.

– It’s OK to buy a girl a drink on a first or second date. It’s a small act of capitulation to the dominant social memeplex that saves you unnecessary headaches. NOTE: Do NOT buy a girl you JUST met a drink. Drinks should never be used to bribe a girl’s attention.

– Leaven your cocky pickup game with vulnerability game. An anecdote about some small, inconsequential weakness, optimally drawn from your childhood, will activate her “I’m feeling a deep connection with this guy” swoon reflex. Pay heed to the handicap principle. The best alphas can afford charming admissions of quasi-weakness. Contrast is king.

– Cold reading is a critical BRG tactic. Master it.

– Strong beta provider game that doesn’t require much monetary investment or undignified appeasement includes choosing her meal for her at a restaurant, getting her into the VIP line at clubs, tactically mentioning something innocuous you remember about her (“You should like this bar. It’s decorated in your favorite color.”), holding hands (your hand on top!), planning dates with real activities that are more than just excuses to get her inebriated and sexually defenseless, and remarking that she’s “winning you over” when she does something awkward or clumsy.

– All BRG rests on a foundation of alpha self-possession. There should never be even a hint of desperation or last-minute-strategizing in BRG. It should flow as smoothly and unpretentiously as AAG.

– Spend a lot of time with her. This is really the heart and soul of BRG. More time with her means less time potentially chasing other women.

Final thought: the amount of BRG you drop should be directly proportional to the interest you have in a girl as girlfriend material. If she’s a one night stand, you hardly need more than an hour or two sitting close to her on a sofa and practicing non-evaluative listening. If she’s a wifey prospect, you’d better get good at remembering her birthday and the time, temperature and cast of moonlight on the night when you first kissed.

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A Short List Of Street Openers

In this post about indirect vs direct street game, a discussion among the commentariat ensued which included many useful opening gambits for approaching girls on the street, in the day time. Here are the best ones. Some of these are direct (aka bold), some indirect (aka situational), some “indirect-direct” (aka flirting).

“Excuse me, I have to get to a meeting that’s going to change my life, but I think you’re gonna change it, too. Let me have your number, I’ll call you later and we’ll see if I’m right.”

***

I have a friend who brings his dog to the bar. Inevitably, girls come up, start playing with the dog, and say, “He’s so cute!”

What does he say?

“I don’t think he likes you.”

***

“It’s not really polite to stare at people like that.”

***

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to hit on you. Damnit, this is the last thing I needed today.”

***

“Excuse me, may I tell you something?”

Don’t wait for answer. “You were walking by just there with a reeeeeally serious expression on your face.”

***

“YOU. Who ARE you?” (breaking rapport (accusing) tone, as if she’s not supposed to be there doing whatever she’s doing)
“Oh, uhh, I’m Sally?”
“Well Sally, I saw you from across the room and had to come say hello. I think we’re going to have to have a million babies together.”
“omg lol umm no thanks lol”
“Alright, then we’ll start with coffee instead.”

***

“Hey, how do I get to Place?”
“oh, umm I think it’s 2 blocks that way and then turn–”
“lol I don’t actually need directions. I just thought you were cute and wanted to come flirt with you. Who are you?”
“omg lol ummm Sally omg”
“I haven’t seen you around here before Sally, you must be (cold read, teasing, etc.)”

***

“Hey, how do I get to Place?”
“oh, umm I think it’s 2 blocks that way and then turn–”
“It sounds like you’re just making that up.” (accusation/teasing)
“lol no I just–”
“If you don’t know, you can just say so. Why are you messing with poor lost strangers who just need help? You MONSTER.” (teasing, accusing, cold-reading)
“omg!! lol no I’m not I was–”
“No, it’s too late, I hate you now. But I’m willing to let you make it up to me over drinks sometime. You free this weekend?” (push/pull, pushing for the close)
“well I have a boyfriend!”
“That’s okay. We’ll invite him too. Then you can give him made up directions so he gets lost and we can keep flirting.” (pushing for the close)
“omg well we’re getting married…”
“Not after we have drinks you won’t be.” (pushing for the close)
etc.

***

YOU: “How tough are the cops in this city on jaywalkers? I’ve got a long jaywalking rap sheet. Can’t afford another bust.”
HER: laughs, smirks, whatever.
YOU: “When I was in [foreign country], no one jaywalked, even when the coast was clear.”

***

As long as you’re consistently moving forward towards a direct place I think [indirect] is fine.

On a side note, If I stop a girl.. i will say something like “Excuse me…” just to measure her initial level of receptiveness. If she is smiling and seems open, direct works well since she is in a good mood.

If she looks at me in a more formal manner, or like she does not really want to talk, I would go indirect.

***

“I know this is going to sound totally random and crazy, and you probably get this from guys all the time, but… [huge pause]…what time is it?”

**********

Postscript

I hate writing these types of posts because they invariably summon the dummy pantywaist hordes of “dur dur say this magic line and HB10000000s will fall in your lap” anti-gamers who never met a nuance they didn’t reconstruct into an elaborate strawman. So to head off a steamroller of stupidity, I’ll clarify a few things for them.

1. None of these lines will magically cause a woman to have sex with you. Game doesn’t work that way, despite the haters’ and femcunts’ best efforts to caricature it as such. Game is a process. It’s a fluid strategy that employs many tactics to reach the goals of sex, love or sexlovesugarmarriage.

2. Lines like these are effective because they are better than the usual boring drivel and clumsy chit chat that most men resort to when meeting women they find attractive. A girl who hears these lines as opposed to, say, “Do you live around here?”, will be more intrigued than she otherwise would be. And a woman’s intrigue is a necessary precondition to her wanting sex with you.

3. A quasi-canned, ready-to-spit opener, or opener routine, encourages men to talk to women. 99% of potential approaches never materialize because the guy thinks to himself “Damn, I have nothing to say”. Sound familiar? Having a few interesting openers in your head removes that excuse from your self-defeatism repertoire. Now you have something to say. And you’ll feel that weight of hopelessness miraculously lift off your shoulders.

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Direct Vs Indirect Street Game

Street game is widely believed to be the hardest game to master (although lately it’s been pretty good to me). Women are on the move, trying to get somewhere, often irritated by the day’s insults and lost in their thoughts. Striding aggressively in heels and pencil skirts, the sight of the urban careerist chick motoring to her paper pushing job intimidates a lot of men. So guys who have effective pickup openers for street game are worth heeding. In that vein, I’ve been thinking about the advantages of direct and indirect street game.

RooshV is the most well-known proponent of indirect day game. The crux of his early game is what he calls “the ramble”. You make a seemingly innocuous, nonsexual and open-ended comment to a girl and use that as a springboard to draw her into deeper conversation, eventually terminating in a number close. (It’ll be next to impossible to pull a chick for sex in the middle of the day during her lunchtime stroll.)

Full disclosure: I have used Roosh’s “pet shop” opener on chicks walking around outside, and I have followed up with his “When I was in X…” big bait hook, with positive results. His style of street game suits my temperament. So my opinion here is apt to be biased. Nevertheless, I try to keep an open mind about different schools of game, the most notable being the direct daytime approach. A good example of direct street game was offered by one of his commenters “Richie”.

The indirect approach (pet shop opener, ask directions) kills me. I find the inane ramblings excruciating and therefore I never want to approach.
The direct approach is equally ridiculous. If a girl came running up to me and told me she saw me and have to come over to tell me how hot I’d was I think she was desperate and slightly unhinged. No thanks. I want to come across a smooth motherfucker not a love struck teenager. It’s also awkward and puts too much pressure on both parties to say something to make the situation less embarrasing.

I have found a good balance which is something inbetween the two.

1. Walk ahead of your target or cross the road then back over again so you approach from an angle.
2. Glance back towards her as if looking for something.
3. Catch her eye and do a FAKE double take
4. Still walking say “You have an interesting face”
her “thanks”…
“where you from”…
(and take it away for as long as possible before number close)

This process feels more natural, impulsive and shows you are interested in her right from the outset so asking for her number doesnt feel ridiculous after you have just asked for directions or some other indirect approach.

This sounds like it has potential, and is especially appealing because of its calculated spontaneity. “You have an interesting face”, spoken from over the shoulder, is direct, but slightly backhanded, because “interesting” can mean a few different things. And it avoids the problem of running up from across a plaza and slobbering over a chick with cloying flattery, a la “You’re really cute and I had to say hi.”

My issue with direct street game boils down to two nagging concerns.

1. I suspect direct game works better for very good-looking men, i.e. men in the top 5-10% of looks. Direct game presents a chick with a radical choice right at the start, and cornering her like that will force her to rely on more instantly perceived judgments of your attractiveness, which means your looks and swagger. I’m having a hard time picturing ugly men pulling off direct game with any consistent success, but I would like to hear about the experiences of men who don’t consider themselves good-looking who run direct street game. I think for the majority of men, the average men, indirect game gives them an opportunity to sidestep the automatic disqualification that hot babes will often stamp on men who hit on them on the sidewalk with direct come-ons.

2. Direct game makes follow-up conversation difficult because it minimizes the opportunity for “the ramble”. This, to me, seems a major handicap of direct street game. “Where is the nearest pet shop?” opens up the conversation for hooking the girl with big bait. It allows you to veer down multiple conversational avenues, and this advantage helps men who are naturally tongue-tied when talking to cute girls (which is most men, really). Direct game, in contrast, closes off these follow-up paths. Many men will be stuck for something to say after dropping the “you have an interesting face” opener, or the “where you from?” follow-up. This goes double if the girl does not react positively and scrunches her face instead.

One more beef I have with direct game, and it’s a minor one, is the type of girl it will be most effective on. Direct game would theoretically work best on impulsive and, yes, dumber girls who better appreciate the stark boldness of an assertive man. Indirect game, with its reliance on wit, situational awareness and verbal dexterity, would work better on less impulsive, smarter girls (i.e. SWPLs) who appreciate these qualities demonstrated in men. Since my experience with direct street game is limited, I’m willing to suspend final judgment on this point. I may in fact be totally off-base about the smart girl-dumb girl dichotomy with respect to direct vs indirect approaches.

Regarding the direct gamer complaint that “girls are gonna know what you’re up to anyhow”, I don’t find this argument persuasive. Girls will know your intentions no matter WHAT type of game you use. In fact, any kind of interaction with a girl is liable to be interpreted as interest in getting her naked. So there’s no good reason to worry about her suspicions. Girls KNOW. The only question that should matter to you is HOW you want girls to know. Most girls like it when a man couches his sexual intentions in plausibly deniable flirtations and rambles.

Instead of giving you the answers you seek, I will open the floor to this question of direct and indirect street game. Readers who have experience with both methods are urged to leave their stories in the comments. Be sure to include pertinent information like your looks, smarts, style and the class of girls you normally hit on. The best contributions will be included in a future post hopefully bringing some much-needed clarity to this eternal pickup community conundrum.

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Common Mistakes You Will Make While Learning Game

There is a cottage industry of anti-game, pro-feminist beta males who claimed to tried to learn the crimson arts but failed before seeing results. I suspect what happened to most of them is that they encountered some setbacks on their journey to higher quality, higher frequency poon, but instead of taking lessons from their losses they gave up and turned their frustration outward, against game and its advocates. What doomed them was a combination of defeatism, a lower than average starting suite of attractiveness traits, and unrealistic expectations of what game could accomplish for them.

Let me say, then, that I acknowledge their impotent rage. Most men who aren’t naturals will experience growing pains in their efforts to improve their game and success with women. I have seen all manner of mistakes made by recovering betas (and omegas) determined to increase their attractiveness to women. There is nothing unique or unsolvable about these common newbie game mistakes. If you are a beta starting out with game, you owe it to yourself to anticipate that you will experience the same setbacks that bedevil millions of men just like you traveling the same path of redemption. Anticipating mistakes means it will be a challenge to disappoint yourself, and your fortitude with thus be strengthened.

What follows is a list of the typical learning curve mistakes that men make while trying to become more charismatic ladykillers. I have pulled a couple of these boners myself, so don’t think there is a man alive who is immune to the occasional beta backslide once in a while.

Excitable Boy Syndrome

You’re pumped up for the night. Your face is flushed, your body is wired and your smile is a mile wide. You knocked out a three set of bicep curls just before hitting the clubs. You’re an approach machine. Look at you go! You’re so high on life and the possibilities of your newfound game knowledge that you forgot to remember chicks dig a man with state control. Chicks most definitely do not dig a hyperactive spaz. Don’t worry, soldier of seduction. The world is not going to run out of women tonight.

Overeager Reaction To Her Crumbs Of Interest

Your game has evolved to the point where you’re starting to get positive reactions from women. She touches your arm or pays you a genuine compliment or strokes her hair and beams ear to ear after you teased her. Pleasantly surprised and brimming with the sort of runaway horniness that has been fooled is on the cusp of being relieved, you respond with overeager gratitude, flattery and excessively loud laughter. Her brief window of kindness and flirty interest has opened your beta floodgates. You forget everything you learned and revert to the watery-eyed supplication of your puppy crushing preteen self. You push too hard for a romantic resolution, and you become outcome dependent. You know that old saying “Act like you’ve been there before”? Take it to heart. Chicks really do prefer men who don’t get too excited by female attention. Mystery called this attitude “active disinterest”, and that’s as good a description as any.

Fumble In The Red Zone

Your game has been smooth as silk. She’s standing with you on the sidewalk, a few kisses have transpired, and now you’re faced with the very real prospect that she’s ready to go home with you tonight. But the realization of this — the prospect that you may achieve your goal — freezes you. Instead of leading her to her exquisite doom with unstoppable confidence, you mumble something about maybe, possibly, seeing some band next week that you heard was good, your hands stuffed deep in your pockets. Her face slackens into disappointment. Your reward? A cavalcade of unanswered text messages and grotesque ponderings asking yourself “where did it all go wrong?”.

Overplayed Hand Syndrome

Wow! She really lit up when you dropped that neg! And look how she reacts so well to your cocky teasing. You can’t believe what you’re seeing. Game works!, you say to yourself. So more game must work more!, you answer in reply to yourself. You start dropping C&F on her like it’s going out of style. Slowly, or maybe not so slowly, you notice she’s not laughing as much, not opening her body to you, and not tilting her head to expose her vulnerable neck to you. She’s turtling fast, and now she’s glancing around the room. You captured her interest, and she wanted you to follow up with a deeper connection. An emotional bonding that would have added dimensions to your personality. But you responded with more of the same happy-go-lucky douchery. Game is not a hammer; it’s a scalpel. Use it as such.

Say Anything Stupid Syndrome

Every man fears it: getting stuck with nothing to say. This fear issues from a place of pedestalization. “If I don’t say something witty right now to break this awkward silence, I will lose her.” So in his beta haste he overcompensates by spitting out a jumble of small talk at best, and vibe-killing self-deprecation at worst. When you have nothing to say, the best response is to… say nothing. Let silence be your ally. 90% of the time, a woman confronted with a man’s silence will restart the conversation herself. Once she does that, the seduction script is flipped, and she becomes the chaser, uncontrollably instilling you with higher value. Women who don’t restart the conversation are not invested enough in you, and you may take that as a signal to move on.

Easy Discouragement Syndrome

You’ve arrived. You haven’t started talking to any girls yet. A cute girl sits near you with her friend. You suck in air deep, preparing to deliver your opener. As you turn to face them, you notice across the room a very good-looking guy juggling the interest of three adoring women. Discouraged, you hold your tongue and nurse your drink, alone, for the next three hours. You mumble something about game not working because you can never compete with men like that. Self-satisfied that your failures are thus justified and irredeemable, you slink home while a man who looks about like you do begins making out with a girl at a different bar in the city tonight. I hope I don’t have to spell out the moral of this story.

Stubborn Refusal To Adapt Spergitude

You’ve just dropped an inspired DHV routine on her. But for some inexplicable reason, she hasn’t responded the way you thought she would. The way so many others did. Boredom snakes across her face. You get flustered. “What do I do now??” Instead of changing course to something that might prove more fruitfully engaging for her, you continue blasting at her bunker with permutations of your nigh-invulnerable DHV story, hoping that some new way of saying this or that sentence will be the key to her heart. As an aspie beta nerd with stubborn mule tendencies, you are a victim of your emotional straitjacketing. Learn to adapt in the field by trying new things on the fly. Don’t be afraid to abandon a conversational trail that has gone stale. I’ve seen it so many times — men who stubbornly fix to a line of thought when the girl is moving the conversation in a new direction. The best seducers are masters of opportunistic conversational hijacking, and will lead and follow a girl’s train of thought simultaneously.

Apologia The Destroya

Incoming shit test! Thankfully, with your encyclopedic game knowledge, you know how to disarm it. But wait… she didn’t get that faux shocked, slightly horny look on her face when you slapped down her attempt to belittle you. No, she’s didn’t take your reply well. Another shit test, a nastier one, flies your way. Your brain starts filling up with self-doubt and second-guessing, and instead of nimbly swiping her second shit test aside, you begin apologizing — in so many words — for your impudence. Ughh. Game over, man! You let your wimpy, trembling beta id out for a stroll in the daylight. She took one look at the poor benighted creature and her fangs and claws were bared for the kill. Expect that you will occasionally have to deal with nasty bitches with zero tolerance for weakness in men. It comes with the territory. Knowing this, you will be better prepared to avoid getting entrapped by a woman’s betatization program.

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