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Some chick has posted (as of last week) a how-to guide for, presumably, cute girls to score free drinks from suckers betas heedless horndogs virginal aspies men. (Ugly girls have to buy men drinks to get any attention.) It is reposted here with accompanying Chateau editorial comment. Men need to know how to identify these mooches and turn the tables on them.

It’s hard to fault these unscrupulous whores for taking advantage of willing dupes. You’d do the same if you were a hot chick in her prime surrounded by buffoons. So it is in your interest to know the enemy and her tactics, and to surprise her with your deft defiance of her expectations.

Scoring free drinks is easier than you think. Give these fail-proof ways a try, and enjoy night after night of free drinking. Just remember, picking the right guy is crucial. You can’t go for a guy who is there with his girlfriend.

It’s not that uncommon to see beta herbs buy drinks for all his girlfriend’s bitchy friends, and even occasionally female interlopers. That’s how HHHwhipped and fearful they are. (Fear is the path to the beta side. Fear leads to sycophancy. Sycophancy leads to abasement. Abasement leads to grinding dry spells.) So she shouldn’t rule out taken men.

Pick a guy who is chilling near the bar. You can always count on “bros” because their frat bothers will usually be there cheering them on to get chicks.

Nice. But times are changing. If these frat brothers had any sense they would mercilessly mock their bro for buying a drink for a girl he’s not banging. Are we seeing more of that kind of very special in-field bro tutelage? General impression: yes. But still a long way to go.

1. Use intense eye contact. (The most obvious and most important) As soon as you walk in, start by making seductive eye contact with the bouncer to get started. The bouncers are friends with the bartenders, so this can help for next time. Sit by the bar, and look around until you make eye contact with a cute guy who catches your glance. Soon enough, he’ll come over to you, and get you a drink.

She’d do better making eye contact with ugly guys. They would be more grateful for the female attention and thus more amenable to getting thieved. “Cute guys” (and it’s a loose term that when used by women usually translates to “alpha guy who looks more cute than he really is because he behaves in a way that presses all my limbic buttons”) are likely to have more experience with women and their wiles, and won’t be as easy to manipulate with these crassly novice female ploys.

2. Look hot, but innocent. You know the drill. Show off your best features in a sexy outfit and work your stuff. Sadly, batting your eyelashes and flipping your hair still works as well as it did when your Mom was in college. Don’t forget the cleavage.

Any man who has an ounce of pride and self-control (a male trait which is very attractive to women, btw) can stare at a bodacious rack all night without feeling a compulsion to open his wallet and buy drinks for the biological package scaffolding the tits. If you are a man who can’t manage to pass this banal free drink shit test, you need to go back to day one and read through this entire blog. Sadly, you may be a lost cause.

3. If a guy opens up a tab next to you and only orders one drink, casually say, “Isn’t there a $10 minimum?”He knows he’s going to have to spend the money anyways, so he might as well buy you a drink, and possibly get your number.

Her post is interesting for a glimpse into the sheer number of shit test permutations that women can wield. If you get this line, acceptable shit-test busting answers are: “Are you the IRS?”, “I found a loophole”, “You’re right. Can you cover me?”, “That’s what she said”.

4. You’re dancing with a guy on the dance floor and he has a drink in his hand. You say, “What are you drinking?” while casually taking the drink from his hands and taking a sip. Keep dancing and then walk away. He won’t have the balls to ask for it back.

Any girl who grabs for my drink like a spoiled child is going to get disciplined like one. Viable answers: “Pussy juice”, “Dunno. A chick bought it for me”, “Shirley Temple”, “Gasoline”. If she manages to get her hand on your glass, push it away and ask her if her parents raised her to be a grub.

5. Go up to the bartender, point to some random guy, and say, “That guy over there spilled my drink.” Then give him puppy eyes and “remind” him of what drink you had. He’s going to make you a new one.

Do bartenders really fall for this? They tend to be a savvy lot, so it’s doubtful many girls get away with this. Anyhow, this is a risky move for a girl at her regular bar. If the bartender calls her out on her lie, she could be kicked out.

6. Befriend an older man at the bar. Um, hello… old fashioned manners. He’ll have to offer. And you will graciously accept.

Older men are wising up to this as well. Game knows no age limit. But as a personal observation, it seems younger men are more prone to fall for the free drink ruse. Horniness tends to cloud judgement.

7.  You’re sitting down and mingling with a friend, and a guy comes and talks to you. You smile, and say, “Aren’t you going to buy me a drink before you start hitting on me?” He will take this as flirting and will  always agree.

Another permutation of the same old same old shit test. Good answers: “I don’t buy drinks for strangers”, “I didn’t know I was planning on hitting on you” (very subtle neg), “That’s small potatoes. Ill give you a thousand to hit on you for a week.”

The idea is to undermine her free drink angling with the insinuation that she’s not far removed from a common street whore, without coming right out and saying it.

8.  If you have already flirted with the bartender, and he’s already made you a drink, you can try this. After you’ve finished the drink and he’s pouring a drink for someone else, flirtatiously tilt your glass and say, “You know where to put the extra.” If he doesn’t do it right away, give him a few minutes and he will.

Again this is horrible. Any bartender who falls for this is not worth his mixology license or his badboy tattoos. Good answer if she’s a bitch: “On your head?”. Good answer if she’s slightly less than a bitch: “In her glass?”, while pointing at a cuter chick.

9.  FLIRT. Never forget what using your mojo can get you. Talk to a guy for 5 minutes. It’s surprising how little it takes. If he’s looking for some action, he’s going to ask you if you want a drink.

Remember the fundamental law of gender relations: The road to victory is through penis in vagina. Flirting should lead to it, or it’s nothing but ego stroking for attention whores. And as any man who’s lived a day knows, buying drinks for girls is counterproductive to the goal of getting laid. No woman in the world has slept with a guy because he bought her a drink, unless he had compensating alpha factors that nullified the betaness of buying the drink.

10. At midnight, when your buzz is getting low, order yourself a glass of water at the bar, while staring at a guy drinking next to you. Lean in, and wait for the guy to say, “Is that all you’re drinking? You’ll say, “Yeah, but a vodka sprite sounds better.”He will order it for you.

A lot of these grrlpower tips rely upon abject betas setting the traps for themselves. If you have a lick of dignity and a smidgen of understanding about women’s sexual processes, you won’t be asking a girl if “that’s all you’re drinking?”.

11. Tap a guy on the shoulder who is ordering a drink.  Say “how about you order me a drink, and I’ll leave the tip?” He’s not going to make you leave the tip.

Good answer if you just want to have a laugh at her expense: “How about we screw, and I’ll leave the tip?”

Good answer if you prefer the more understated approach that explores the possibility of a pickup: “The bartender’s my friend, so you’d better be ready to leave a twenty”.

12.  Pretend it’s your birthday. If you’re really going for it, wear a crown.  You will probably get a drink “on the house” from the bartender or a guy you talk to will offer.

Never buy drinks for girls. That rule goes double for girls in birthday or bachelorette parties. Or you could put her on the spot and ask what gifts she got for her birthday. It’s fun to watch predatory girls squirm.

13.  Sit down by the bar and take on a bet that you know you will win. After a few minutes of conversation, switch to the subject you want to bet on. Then you can make the bet. Winner buys the drink. Ask him a guy question that a “man” would think he knows the answer to like a question about the 1991 Super bowl. He’s not going to know that you have planned the question.  And you’re talking to him, so he’s not going to care.

The way to counter this tactic is to offer a “best out of five” suggestion. Example: “How about we do best out of five, but I get to ask the last question.” Few girls know much about the hobbies of men. Ask her a question about tube amps or Call of Duty.

It’s not hard to get free drinks; guys just can’t help themselves (the poor schmucks).  Try these techniques, strut your stuff, and you’ll be set. Don’t feel bad; they want to talk to you. And hey, maybe you’ll end up going for them.

The irony in her tricks for getting free drinks from suckers lies in the fact that, although presented as a way to make a possible love connection, free drink buying will actually spoil a woman’s budding attraction for a man. Buy her a drink and you will go home the celibate monk you arrived as. But pass her shit test and don’t buy her a drink, and her eyes will sparkle with growing attraction for your demonstrated alphaness.

No, literally, they will sparkle. It’s weird.

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Occasionally even a feminist manages a swiping glance at the truth. Naomi Wolf has a track record of immersing herself in a stinking pile of pretty lies, but her contention that widespread porn availability numbs men to the pleasures of “real women”* might have some merit.

(*Translating from the femcuntspeak, “real women” = aging, slovenly lardasses.)

A whole generation (or two) of men has grown up watching hot chicks have sex on the internet. Most of the girls in porn are better looking than the average fat American woman who couldn’t throw her cankles behind her ears if she tried. It’s not a stretch to think that such mass wanking to the top 10% in tight female bodies desensitizes men to sex with the rapidly dumpifying plain janes they meet in real life. Result: more pump and dumps as men feel less incentive to invest in these entitled shambling mounds.

So a reasonable argument could be made that hardcore porn has raised men’s expectations beyond practicality. Or that it has sated their desire to the point that men lack the motivation to aggressively pursue real life shit-testing women.

Ah, but as with so many theories propounded by feminists and family values conservatives, they utterly neglect to mention the role of female hypergamy and the effect that hypergamy has on women’s choices in the dating market. Remember the fundamental law of the sexual market: As the gatekeepers to sex, women get the men they deserve. If women are rewarding assholes and players with sex, then assholes and players are what men will emulate.

But thankfully the world is blessed with the wit and wisdom — and the sadism to tell it like it is — of the Chateau. So you come here for the full truth, because you think you can handle it. And the truth is that modern women have been gluttonously absorbing their own version of expectation-raising and niceguy-desensitizing porn…

Emotional pornography.

A commenter writes:

Women do have problems with false expectations of romance. Emotional pornography has really screwed with their heads.

Think Lifetime channel movies.

Bingo. Biologically, women don’t get off on visual porn the way men do. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have their own outlets for electrifying the beaver, or that they don’t avail themselves of these female-centric outlets with the same gusto that men do of theirs.

Let’s get right to it. Women masturbate to words. To stories. Stories as told in movies, books and TV. These stories share common themes, often featuring the hard-to-get, aloof alpha male preselected by tons of attractive women, and the maladroit beta male to play the foil. The alpha male in women’s fantasies is outsized. His kind exists in extraordinarily tiny numbers in the real world. Which makes his grudgingly surrendered love that much the sweeter.

Do not for a minute think men’s visual porn and women’s emotional porn aren’t comparable. They are exactly the same in purpose, and in function. Men jack off to YouPorn and women jack off to daydreams of Edward Cullen or Dr. McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy. One inconsequential difference is that men’s jacking off is typically more physical in nature, with an unmistakeable denouement in ejaculation. Women, having a baseline hormonal horniness somewhat below that of men and being not quite as groin focused in their sexuality, express their jacking off in wistful, emotional mental journeys that occasionally culminate in vulval self-administration under the bedsheets late at night.

The end result of all this jacking off to ideal virtual lovers is the same for women and men: raised expectations and disappointment with the real life alternatives.

As most men are game-less herbs and provider betas, the explosion of emotional porn for women has indirectly caused the betas’ dating market value to drop, in the same way that YouPorn has caused the dating market value of average-looking, out of shape women to drop. The drop isn’t precipitous, because for most people bland but real sex still beats exciting but virtual sex. But the drop is enough to make a difference in the zeitgeist of the mating market, as well as within the quasi-confines of marriage.

Naomi Wolf and Kay Hymowitz think they get a free pass to shame men for watching porn to the detriment of relationships with real women. *cracks knuckles* Here’s a roll call of the leading outlets of emotional porn numbing our nation’s women to sex and relationships with real, normal, niceguys:

Grey’s Anatomy
Gossip Girl
The Bachelorette
Desperate Housewives
Sex and the City
Anything on Lifetime Channel or WeTV
Pretty much everything on the major networks in primetime
Any big studio rom-com
Twilight (books and movies)
Any and all pulp romance novels
Academy awards shows
Tabloids
The entirety of the insipid celebrity culture

American women, it’s time for you to woman up. Put down the celebrity rags and stop diddling the bean to the latest news about Jake Gyllenhaal’s love life. The future of your country rests on bringing your unrealistic ballooning expectations back down to earth, in line with what your flabby bodies, unfeminine personalities, galling sluttiness and crow’s feet actually offers men.

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Soulkill

Would you men like to know what happens to your texts, IMs, emails and voicemails that you regret having sent to girls you tried but failed to bang? I have a story to tell…

Scene: House party. Ten people sitting languidly in a living room, drinking and socializing. Seven girls, three men, including yours truly. The girls are all in their 20s, in the 6-8.5 looks range. These girls are not sluts or lawyer cunts. They are, by most objective measures, “good girls”; exactly the kind of normal, cute girls men would be happy to have as girlfriends, and to introduce to mom.

One of the girls, the second cutest of the bunch, is showing her phone to her BFF. Another girl asks what she’s doing.

She smiles broadly. “That guy I broke up with last week sent me a Facebook message. It’s SO sad! But kind of sweet, too.”

“Ooh, let’s see!”, the other girls practically squeal in unison.

Her BFF interrupts, “Did he send this after you broke up?”

“Yes! OK, so I broke up with this guy last week over email, because I’m too scared to do it in person.”

The other girls titter knowingly.

She continues, “Lemme read what I wrote to him first, so you get an idea.”

She begins reading from her phone and quoting her break-up email, which, paraphrased, went something like this:

“Hi there, [REDACTED], I just wanted to tell you that I had a great time with you, but I’m in a place in my life right now where I don’t want to get involved. I just got over a bad breakup, and I don’t have the energy to pursue another relationship. I’m going to spend some time alone for a while. Really you’re a great guy. But this isn’t happening for me right now. I’m sorry.”

The girls nod sympathetically. The two men and myself exchange knowing glances. We understand what’s about to come.

Heartbreaker girl taps her phone screen and holds it up for the crowd to see.

“Ok, I’m going to read his reply. He sent this like a day later.”

I interrupt her. “Wait, let me read it. I can pretend to be him.”

She cackles. “Haha! OK, here you go.”

I take the phone. A longish email reply is staring back at me, with a thumbnail of a man’s face appended to it. He’s fairly good-looking, and muscular, judging by his neck and traps.

I begin reading his reply in a trembly voice, imitating as best I can a lovelorn beta. Paraphrased:

“Ok, I’m sorry to hear that. I was hoping we could date a few more times and see where it goes. I think you are really great, and a very special girl, and I felt we had something between us. I definitely felt we bonded on our dates together. Remember that time playing pool? That was pretty funny. But oh well, if you need some time to yourself, I understand. If you ever change your mind, you know where to email me. I’m willing to give it another try if you are. Ciao.”

I finish and melodramatically lay the phone down, heavily sighing. The girls erupt in a gail of laughter and cloying “Awws”. The two men noticeably cringe. One looks displeased that I have joined, shiv in hand dripping the blood of my victim, in the beta hunt.

Oh, what’s that? You expected me to stick up for the downtrodden beta masses? You wanted a hero to show these girls the malevolence of their ways? No, that would not be any fun. I happily participated in the cruel mockery at the expense of this poor niceguy. Laughs were shared and I would do it again. The id monster obeys no ideology.

Heartbreaker girl chimes in. “See, I told you he’s so sweet. I feel bad about this.” She tries hard to contain a chesire cat’s grin from creasing her face, but fails.

I address the group with a feigned seriousness, “Maybe we shouldn’t have done that to the poor guy.”

Heartbreaker girl responds, still smiling, “I know, I feel bad.” The men look uncomfortable, staring at the wall. One guy grips his girlfriend’s thigh tightly. A moment of moral clarity infuses the room, but it doesn’t last.

A girl in the corner pipes up, “But that was really funny! Oh well. It was kinda cute.” Laughter all around.

I continue, “How long were you seeing this guy? He seems smitten.”

Heartbreaker girls says proudly, “We went on three dates.”

I seize an opportunity to subversively impart game wisdom. “You know, my buddies and I have this golden rule we live by. Never send emails to a girl that are longer than the ones she writes to you.” I turn to Heartbreaker girl, “This guy wrote twice as much as you wrote to him.”

A girl practically shrieks, “Oh my god, you’re so right!”

Heartbreaker girl laughs in agreement, “That’s so true.”

There are ways to inculcate women with the truth of game. You just have to frame it as a remedy for a betaboy’s embarrassing failure.

The next time you feel the urge to send a lovingly crafted email or text or IM to a woman who you haven’t yet banged, remember this true story from the vaults of the Chateau. Visualize the hosts reading your email out loud to the guffaws of a roomful of cute girls who soften their laughter with pitying, and faintly contemptuous, hedges about what a “niceguy” and “sweet guy” you are, and…

STOP, CROP and CULL.

Stay your hand. Turn off the spigot of beta diarrhea. Calm your fiery but unfocused passion. Shut your mouth. Delete that fucking ode. Because it WILL, one way or another, one day sooner or later, be used against you in a kangaroo court of amoral soul flaying. If you want to win at this game, there is only one road to victory —

penis in vagina.

No amount of painstakingly composed and heartfelt emails, yearning voicemails, or chivalric IMs emanating with the faint whiff of beggary will ever match in manly will to power the physical act of fucking. That is your trump card, and nothing a woman holds can beat it.

The modern woman, and her women-are-blameless spokesfembots, ask “Where are all the good men?”

Ladies, you get the men you deserve.

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In a complete inversion of conventional wisdom, it’s men who should be playing hard to get if they want to attract the opposite sex.

Women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.

A study published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, finds that a woman is more attracted to a man when she is uncertain about how much he likes her.

“Numerous popular books advise people not to display their affections too openly to a potential romantic partner and to instead appear choosy and selective,” the authors write. Women in this study made their decisions based on very little information on the men — but in a situation not unlike meeting someone on aninternet dating site, which is common these days. “When people first meet, it may be that popular dating advice is correct: Keeping people in the dark about how much we like them will increase how much they think about us and will pique their interest.”

The subject matter of this study has been discussed at the Chateau before, in this post. It perfectly validates much of what is written here, particularly the posts dealing with instilling dread in your lover to build a healthy relationship. The fact is that women, much more so than men, get turned on by inscrutable suitors. Women love love love men who keep them guessing. That hamster isn’t gonna spin by itself, you know. Inscrutable men are likely hitting women’s “pre-selection” and “sexy son” limbic buttons.

Suck-up credentialist therapists and marriage counselors hate these kinds of studies (and, by extension, real-world truth tellers such as yer ‘umble narrator) because it puts the lie to everything they know and believe. How would you feel if the meaning of your very existence was revealed for the shabby mountain of platitudinal shit it is?

I suspect some readers get the impression that the science guides my behavior. But that is not the case. I’ve spent my life experiencing women, observing women, learning about women and loving women. That is how I came to understand them. The science merely serves as a confirmation of what I can see with my eyes. But I like to post these studies because I know it gets under the skin of the haters. I can practically see their blood boiling and steam coming out of their ears.

It is an exquisite pleasure to reflect upon your enemies’ torment.

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12 Year Old Girl With Game

A reader emails:

Hi, I want to comment you something  I saw at the mall yesterday.

There were two girls by my side (12 and 8 years old) jumping, screaming and in general being annoying and invading my personal space. They had that attitude that the kids have when they are planning something. Fortunately they disappeared after they decided their plan of action.

After few moments  they reappeared at a nearby table, occupied by three male kids. The two girls were standing there and started to talk with the boys. The girls extended their hands and chatted a few minutes. The older girl took her phone, get one boys number and then they left. Two of the boys were 12  years old and the other was 6.

It was nice to see the scene. The girls were standing all the time. The older one was relaxed with good body language. The younger one didn’t stop to smile while she hugged her bear shaped backpack. The boy was flattered, but stay cool.

So, here you have it. A 12 years old girl with game!

Best regards.

If I’m right about the growing masculinization of Western women, we are going to see more of this sort of thing. Little girls will mimic what they see the adult women in their lives do, and what they see are women running game on men, approaching men, having kids out of wedlock, racking up multiple sex partners, and generally behaving like aggressive caddish men. This is good for easy sex, but it’s also the death knell of femininity.

How many readers have noticed more aggressive posturing by women in the field? A broad cultural/genetic trend may be in the offing. If it is, one thing is certain: over a long enough time span, it’s self-correcting.

Also, good reader, stop watching kids at the mall. Some hatchet-faced femcunt whose dusty hole hasn’t had a sexual experience that didn’t chafe, might see you and alert the national guard.

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Mingus comments:

The drummer in a band I was in when I was younger thought it would be a good idea to buy his hot girlfriend a bass so they could “jam” and spend more time together, since he was always with us 4 nights a week. After a few months in the garage she got “okay” and decided to start her own band with some other hot chicks. They were terrible, but they were hot and dressed slutty – imagine a bad punk rock version of the bangles, but unlike the bangles they were all equally as hot as susanna hoffs (drummers GF kinda looked like her). Like an idiot he tried to help them out by starting to book shows with the “new hot chic band” opening up for us. We had a pretty good local draw, but after a few gigs the new hot chic band started to get more and more attention (duh) from the bookers because they could pack the joint….big surprise. Next thing you know hot chic band are headlining weekends and getting the calls to open for the bigger touring acts and he eventually becomes the over protective BF/roadie loading her ampeg 8×10 bass cab at each show and making sure no one tries to fuck her. Of course over time she dumps his sorry ass because of her new found rockstardom and his diminished higher value even though he was pretty much the reason she got there. Common hobbies=bad idea.

Hilarious. And I have similar horror stories I could tell about men I’ve known who bent over backwards to help their girlfriends realize their own dreams a little too successfully.

Helping to raise your girlfriend’s social status above your own is akin to a fat chick helping her equally fat boyfriend lose weight and learn game while she stays fat. You are shooting yourself in the foot. Every time you encounter one of these sanctimonious beta bitchboy turds crowing about the love and support he gives to his girlfriend or wife to, say, get through medical school, laugh in his face because he is in for a rude awakening when she starts boffing a doc during her late night residency shifts.

The crux of the matter is that women do not desire men of equal status. They desire men of higher status than themselves. It’s academic from where your status accrues; it could come from game, money, looks, wit, humor, artistic talent, popularity, social savviness or stone cold aloofness. As long as you are higher status than her on some important evolutionarily circumscribed metric, her veins will course with lust for your animal magnetism.

Maxim #1a: Women desire men of better quality than themselves.

When you think you are doing good by your woman to help her achieve career success or to lift up her social standing, you are in reality clumsily playing with the hellfires of the Underlord of Biomechanics. You do not fuck with the primal forces of female hypergamy without paying a steep price in consequences.

There are a few caveats.

If the realization of her goal won’t raise her status above yours, *and* it won’t put her in the company of a lot of high status men for long stretches of time, then feel free to support her. If she wants to be a day care operator, and you are a high flying salesman, earn brownie points by encouraging her to pursue her dream.

If her goals and dreams are precious little musings that you know she won’t see through to achieving, then feel free to support her.

If her goal is a threesome with you and a lithe young chick, support the shit out of her. But make it seem like you’re being dragged into participating.

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Lara, presumably a girl, wrote the subject heading in the comments to yesterday’s post.

Lara may be a troll, or she may be a girl lying about what she sexually responds to in order to score retarded internet debate points, but her blurt has a kernel of truth. Dating advice columnists, a most loathsome breed, and marriage counselors are fond of telling the lovelorn how important it is for a man and woman to share interests and hobbies if they want to make a relationship work for the long haul. This meme has, in fact, become so imbibed by the general popluation that you cannot date a girl, or listen to a girl talk about what she wants in a man, without hearing her say that “he has to share my values“, or “he has to like the same things I like.”

A conversation I had with Zeets the Throwback Barbarian comes to mind.

ME: Your parents have been together a long time. Do they go shopping at arts and crafts boutiques like other mature couples do?

ZEETS: Hell no. My Dad plays poker twice a week to get out of the house, and my Mom hangs out with her friends on the weekends.

ME: They’re not attached at the hip then?

ZEETS: Not even close. They need to get out of each other’s hair. They have different interests. They both like to swim in the pool, though.

ME: But you can really see the love they have for each other.

ZEETS: Exactly.

This “shared values and interests” chestnut is a load of horseshit. Lara is hitting upon something important in her throwaway quip. Men and women who like the same things and do a lot of activities together risk instilling the contempt of familiarity in each other. This is particularly the case for women, who must abide their genetic programming to find overly accessible men undesireable.

Women may squawk a big squawk about wanting men who share their interests, but in reality they most admire and love those men who have their own interests, and who pursue those interests without regard to the women’s participation. Women, in short, love to be spectators to men’s passions. They love to be dragged into a man’s world.

As with all things gender related, women want to look up to a man. They do not want an equal or a play time buddy. Feminists who claim otherwise are lying, not only to you and me, but, more importantly, to themselves.

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