Chicks Dig Jerks: Chimney Sweep Edition

Love is so powerful it can cause a smart person to act stupidly. So stupidly, she unintentionally kills herself.

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A doctor involved in an “on-again, off-again” relationship apparently tried to force her way into her boyfriend’s home by sliding down the chimney, police said Tuesday. Her decomposing body was found there three days later.

Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, first tried to get into the house with a shovel, then climbed a ladder to the roof last Wednesday night, removed the chimney cap and slid feet first down the flue, Bakersfield police Sgt. Mary DeGeare said.

While she was trying to break in, the man she was pursuing escaped unnoticed from another exit “to avoid a confrontation,” authorities said.

DeGeare said the two were in an “on-again, off-again” relationship.

Skittles man, Bring the Movies man… meet On-again, Off-again man.

The good doctor was infatuated (and infatuation is a form of love — unidirectional love) with an older bad boy. How do we know he was a bad boy? Ye shall know the jerks by their treatment of women. “On-again, off-again” is a euphemistically pleasing way to say “he was using her for sex but she wasn’t hot or young enough for his full-blown monogamous commitment”. There are many flavors of jerk; not all of them are the stereotypical underemployed tattooed thug wannabes. The ostensible boyfriend who resided at the House of Absurd Ways to Die, 58 year old William Moodie, fled through the back door of his own home so he wouldn’t have to deal with the crazy bitch. There’s no doubt this guy was a “bring the movies” kind of caring and attentive lover. And that that’s why she chased after him so desperately.

There’s a picture of Kotarac in the embedded video to the article at 0:15 seconds in, and she is pretty decent looking for a 49 year old. For one, she hasn’t let herself go like so many aging American women who haven’t met a buffet table they didn’t raid. So her desperation was not a result of being a low value tubby omega female punching way above her (heh) weight class. Physically, she was probably a close match to him. Intellectually, as a doctor, she was likely as smart or smarter than him (Moodie runs an engineering consulting firm. Interestingly, engineering is a perceived classic beta male field, which goes to show betaness is an infection of the soul rather than an occupational condition). So on paper, it would seem there would be no reason for such a skewed relationship power dynamic to exist, “relationship exactness and complementarity” to the contrary notwithstanding. And yet it did, as she wildly chased and he ran away when she got to be too much of a pain in the ass. One is then compelled to ask, how does a man achieve this sort of power over a woman? I submit that the reasons are simple: Moodie was a master of aloof and indifferent game, and Kotarac, despite her relatively good looks for a woman her age, was depressingly aware on a subconscious level that the wall was nigh. She had found an alpha male, and she wanted him badly before the door closed forever on her sexual and romantic love options.

This episode imparts some valuable lessons. Money, social status, and material possessions are useful, but if you want complete control over your woman, BY FAR the best method for maintaining that control is to exercise push-pull game (aka careless asshole game) on a woman of fragile self-conception. Her instinctual programming will do the rest, as you quickly find yourself being pursued with an amorous gusto normally experienced only by very hot babes in the prime of their procreative lives. Older men with game and very famous and/or vastly wealthy men might be the closest men get to knowing what it feels like to live as a 22 year old beautiful woman.

Here’s a question: was this guy Moodie in his house the whole time she was rotting in his chimney, or did he stay somewhere else thinking it would require a few days for the Stalking Cougar to cool off and give up harassing him at his home? If the former, you have to wonder how he was able to miss the stench coming from the chimney flue. Perhaps his nose was buried in another woman’s pussy?

“She made an unbelievable error in judgment and nobody understands why, and unfortunately she’s passed away,” Moodie told The Associated Press. “She had her issues – she had her demons – but I never lost my respect for her.”

Does this guy Moodie sound like he’s broken-hearted? Nope. Sounds instead like he could do without the hassle, especially if girlfriends #2 and #3 have visiting hours while reporters are posted outside his door.

Kotarac apparently died in the chimney, but her body was not discovered until a house-sitter noticed a stench and fluids coming from the fireplace Saturday, according to a police statement. The house-sitter and her son investigated with a flashlight and found Kotarac dead, wedged about two feet above the top of the interior fireplace opening.

Santa Claus wept fluids.

Firefighters spent five hours late Saturday dismantling the chimney and flue from outside the home to extract Kotarac’s body, DeGeare said.

You’ve gotta tip your hipster newsie to the brave men who do these shitty jobs.

Executive summary:

1. Older women, including MILFs, are desperate.
2. Aloof asshole game is chick crack at any age.
3. Intelligence is no immunity from stupid decisions made under the influence of love.
4. A woman’s high status career is no leverage against the sexual status lowering effect of her getting older.
5. A woman’s high status career is worthless to men who aren’t gigolos.
6. Bitches be crazy!

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The Limits On Hypergamy

Via Randall Parker, here is a study of birds showing that less attractive female birds choose equally unattractive mates.

Less-pretty female house sparrows tend to lower their aim when selecting a mate. Addressing the lack of studies on condition-dependency of female mate choice, researchers writing in the open access journal BMC Evolutionary Biology found that female sparrows of a low quality prefer males of an equally low quality.

Researchers from the Konrad Lorenz Institute for Ethology in Vienna studied sexual selection preferences in the common house sparrow. Though it has always been assumed that females will want to choose the best possible mate, in terms of reproductive and genetic fitness, Matteo Griggio and Herbert Hoi have found that, in fact, unattractive females dare not dream of mating with males who are considered out of their league. […]

“Actually, we found that overall, female sparrows don’t have a preference for badge size in males”, Griggio explains, “but we did find that less attractive females – those with a low weight and poor condition – have a clear preference for less attractive males with smaller or average-sized badges”. Rather than not find a partner, unattractive females will simply settle for an unattractive male.

Griggio continues: “There is some good news for the plainer females though – while they may be forced to settle for less dominant males with small chest badges, these males have been shown to invest more time in parental care than their good-looking counterparts.”

We here at the Chateau write a lot about female hypergamy, as it is a powerful motivating force in shaping the dating market and, ultimately, influencing your own success or failure with the opposite sex. Female hypergamy gets short shrift in studies and in popular culture because it is one of the uglier truths about women’s natures. Since gender is one of the four pillars of protected PC classes holding up the high church of leftist blank slate theology — right behind race but trumping homosexuality and any-religion-that-isn’t-Christianity — it makes sense that our commissars of media agitprop would work hard to avoid having to touch the subject of female hypergamy.

But we touch it here! And grope and fondle it lasciviously. That’s why it’s worth mentioning that even hypergamy must occasionally bow to the restrictions imposed on free market choice by female mate value. Although the above study is of birds, some parallels can be drawn to human behavior; parallels which are corroborated by real life experience. Women may loathe the idea of settling, but many of them do, as you can readily see by walking out your door and noticing all the ugly ass couples canoodling like they really enjoy the prospect of fornicating with each other.

Like the female house sparrow, less attractive women may deliberately avoid dating higher quality men in favor of beta males for a number of reasons:

1. Less attractive women sacrifice too much to keep an alpha male around. There are plenty of couples where a much better looking man invested absolutely nothing into a skewed relationship and got all the sex he wanted in return. This might be fun for the plain jane for a while, but I’m sure the thrill wears off after a few months, (or years, if she’s truly deluded about her own value).
2. Less attractive women figure they don’t have a shot, and so don’t bother flirting with alpha males. Call it the Sour Grapes Syndrome; a homely chick insists she prefers niceguys or nerds to the exclusion of those “meathead jocks” or “douchebags”, but in reality she is simply rationalizing her limited options. Sour Grapes Syndrome explains why ugly chicks don’t commit suicide en masse.
3. Less attractive women have to make a trade off that more attractive women don’t. A hot babe can land *and* keep an alpha male around to help her raise her young, but a homely chick has to decide between a one night stand with a horny alpha who will be embarrassed by his slumming the next morning and a relationship with a beta who will lavish more caring attentiveness on her and any brood she may have with him.
4. Less attractive women like to feel they are better looking than what their partner normally gets. This is a power law of mating dynamics. We all want to leverage our power in the dating market to the hilt, and a relationship where there is a big imbalance in power sharing is inherently unstable. Homely chicks know, either through experience or instinct, that dating alpha males results in a huge power differential that will almost always result in a breakup with her in tears. So she avoids dating alphas when it’s time to get serious about landing a committed man. Homelier women are smart to do this; studies have shown that the strongest relationships are ones where the woman is better looking than her partner. When a women feels pretty in the context of the man she is with, she will be happier… as long as the man keeps up his end of the bargain by having higher social status and/or game.

Note that none of the above reasons should imply that female hypergamy is rendered null and void for unattractive women. Human females are a little more complicated than house sparrows. In real life what we see are homely girls giving hypergamy the ol’ college try until their options, and their ability to stoically endure continual pump and dumps, are exhausted. This often plays out in practice with the widely observed phenomenon of urbanized 4s, 5s, and 6s suffering a series of humiliating short term flings with men well above their level during their 20s, followed by a grudging acceptance of the utility of settling for the boring beta male in their later 20s and 30s.

Seduction artists who like to dumpster dive (and really, you should probably turn in your PUA card if you prefer taking the easy road to low quality pussy) should continue treating the playing field as if female hypergamy was in full effect all the time, because most homely chicks — even the married ones — can’t resist getting used like a disembodied hole by a superior man.

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Scaring A Girl Into Sexual Arousal

I have this fire- and waterproof safe at home. I store financial papers, love letters from past and former girlfriends, and backup hard drives in it. In other words, anything that I don’t want a girl I am dating to see, or to ever see.

Maxim #20: Do not ever reveal the details of your finances to a girlfriend or wife. Avoid getting joint accounts. As a man, you must draw a line in the sand separating money from love. If she balks, dump her.

Naturally, when girls come over and happen to notice the safe (it’s in a closet) they are curious about its contents. Most of them are usually savvy enough to refrain from asking me what’s inside while the relationship is still in its infancy. If a girl is champing at the bit that hard to discover my secrets so soon after starting to date, then she is likely an untrustworthy, self-aggrandizing prospect for the long term. If she asks after a couple of years, that’s more understandable. But she still won’t get to know.

There’s something else I keep in the safe. Since I know that a girl will sometimes ask, I have prepared for the eventuality.

GIRL: “Ooo, you have a safe. Um… so what’s in it?”

THE GRAVEN IMAGE U FAP TO: “The severed fingers of my enemies in a jar.”

GIRL: “Ha, ha, funny. No, seriously.”

At which point, and with a totally straight face, I open the safe and remove a jar of yellow red-ish liquid resembling formaldehyde containing severed fingers which I then show to her. The last time I did this, the girl screamed at the top of her lungs and fell backwards over my couch, bruising her shin on my coffee table in the process.

You can get realistic looking novelty severed fingers at any online magic shop.

Later that night, we copulated with a ferocity that would have made wild boar sex seem tender in comparison. She never asked to see what was in the safe again.

So, yes, there does appear to be a direct line of connection between the fright neurons and the vagina neurons in girls’ brains. Stimulate one, and the other kicks out reflexively. (During foreplay, girls are often frightened — and cross-eyed — when I whip out my enormous offshore drill.)

Surprising girls with pranks is also an effective arousal state inducer. The girl in this video might have been pissed for an hour after she was victimized by her boyfriend’s prank, but I guarantee he had the best sex of his life that night.

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What Should She Do?

A reader sent the Chateau the following email with no explicit instructions to withhold releasing for readership consumption the photos she attached. As per Chateau rules (Sec. 8, para. 14), if you don’t want your advice-seeking email correspondence or accompanying pics posted to the blog, say so. Otherwise, it will be assumed you are OK with it.

Hi Chateau,

I have been reading your blog and although I’m not a fan of some of the misogyny some of the guys that comment spew, I respect overall that you have a pretty good handle on the dating game. I saw the post & advice you gave that one girl who posted. I’m wondering if you would give me your honest opinion on how well I can do in NYC dating based on my attractiveness & other stats? I just moved here from California & it’s a jungle out here 🙂

Background on me: I just turned 25, am 5’6, around 125 pounds (attached photos). 0.7 hip to waist ratio, D breasts (they’re real).

Other statistics: went to Stanford, used to work in finance but quit that when it started changing my personality into a man’s, am now a writer / marketer. I can be funny, I have good manners & etiquette, I’m usually very positive and nice, and guys I’ve dated have said I’m fun to be around / very low drama/maintenence. Although I can be opinionated & want to be respected, I definitely voice those opinions in a respectful way. I can also cook decently well & I like sex a lot.

Money is important to me since I want to be a stay at home mom eventually (or at least have the option) and I never want to worry about money, and I’m wondering if I can do better than the guy I’m currently dating who wants an exclusive relationship with me. As I know my prime is now, and my options will only decrease with time, I’m wondering if you can give me an honest opinion of whether I should stay with him or start taking other offers more seriously? My friends don’t like this guy because he gives people shit sometimes / doesn’t care about being polite & so they’re saying I can do better, but they always say that. I like him, and I want your opinion. I have recently had the CTO of [major bank] ask to date me, and various other high earning finance guys. I just want to know what my chances are of actually landing a guy like these instead of being dicked around, or if I should even be concerned with it since I am really enjoying the guy I have now who I think is on the way up and I’m definitely unsure I’ll be able to match the level of chemistry and compatibility? I am wary of dating in NY because I’ve heard how brutal it can be, and I remain pretty much unscathed so far. I’d really hate to lose my optimism by getting abused by some douchebag who was never that into me anyway.

There’s nothing wrong with us, we get along really well for the most party. [Editor: A most excellent Freudian slip.] He’s a beta, 27, learned a lot of this pickup stuff and is dominant, which is great. Also can be cooperative & talk about psychology / relationships with me, which is so fascinating. He comes from a poor background in eastern europe, just started working for a hedge fund (seems to be good at it, the youngest guy there by 20 years) & sends money back home (admirable but a possible detriment in the future if they need to be continually supported). Very focused & interesting. Negatives are that he can be manipulative & critical, and doesn’t socially dominate / lead like some guys I know (was very uncomfortable in one large party situation where he didn’t know anyone & I knew some guy friends from school). Although he’s not the largest guy (5’10), he could probably hold his own in a fight (have heard stories about his rough upbringing).

Anyway, your opinion would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry the email is really long, I’m not a concise person 🙂

L.

She wants to know whether to stay with her doting, all-around niceguy boyfriend or to dump him to take one more stab at trading up in the hothouse dating market of Manhattan.

(rubbing hands)

She’s come to the right place!

Reading between the lines what we have here is a girl who likes, perhaps loves, her boyfriend, but has recently been propositioned for a date by a higher status man (the CTO of [major bank]). Her sexual market options suddenly thrown into stark relief, her hypergamous instinct is kicking in and she is contemplating, via the sounding board provided by the residents of the stately countryside Chateau, whether her boyfriend is really all that she thinks he is, and whether her ego isn’t as big as it deserves to be.

Gentlemen, behold the awesome power of female hypergamy. You can be the best boyfriend in the world, (and judging by her description of him, he sounds like a stand-up guy with plenty of positive traits), but if a higher ranking man comes along and shows some interest in your girlfriend (or wife!), you can bet your last penny she will be unable to resist pondering the opportunity to trade up and the concomitant reevaluation of her own market worth that goes along with attention from higher status suitors.

Women, of course, will cheer this as an example of female empowerment and being honest with oneself and yada yada down with the patriarchy yada, but imagine a man doing the same to his loyal girlfriend when a hotter, younger, tighter babe flirts with him. Those same women would be screaming like banshees from the rooftops.

It is the nature of the beast when the sexes have opposing reproductive goals.

But enough highlighting the underlying mechanism. Let’s examine this woman’s situation in point by point detail to determine whether it is in her interest to risk a breakup with Beta Lover for a shot at Mr. Big.

The Chateau keepers have reviewed the facts and rendered their judgment.

She is:

A 5.5. Maybe a 6 on a good day. She is not especially cute, but not invisibly plain either.

Her youth is her strongest asset. 25 years old gives her three to five years to complete her marriage quest according to the demands she has set for herself. Much depends on how well she ages. Her swarthy ancestry (Puerto Rican? Half black? Lebanese?) suggests she will stave off wrinkles for a longer time than the average white chick.

Her body is good. The numbers she has given put her at 20.1 BMI, which is right smack in the center of body weight desirability. But the photo she supplied makes her body look chubbier than would be expected with that low BMI. There is some tentative agreement among the hosts that she could stand to lose ten pounds.

Her breasts are magnificent funbags. But watch out! D cups are mesmerizing in their prime, but their prime is short-lived, surrendering rather quickly and ignominiously to National Geographic style sag.

The tone of her email gives the impression of a pleasant personality, but the content tells otherwise. She might qualify as a genuine golddigger. Golddiggers are one step below whores, because at least whores have the integrity to follow through on their end of the deal.

Look at the waist-hip ratio. She is the submissive type who needs a dominant man to make her feel like a woman.

She had a U-shaped smile. Untrustworthy.

Stanford? Irrelevant.

Writer/marketer? Irrelevant.

Good manners and etiquette? Meh. Girls who know where to place the salad fork have a detailed mental schematic for how to get them off in bed. Woe be the man who deviates from the script. Also, “good manners” reeks of try-hard, as if she is compensating for a poorly mannered cultural background.

Positive and nice? Your boyfriend might think differently if he reads this.

Opinionated? Translation: Loudmouthed nag.

Cooks well? Bonus.

Likes sex? Double plus bonus. But not much of a selling point in this raunchy day and age.

Her current boyfriend is:

A greater beta. He sounds like a higher ranking man than she is giving him credit for.

27 years old. So much for closeness of age being an important factor.

“Gives people shit sometimes / doesn’t care about being polite”: This is a trait of a greater beta, lesser alpha. Regular old betas do not give people shit. Instead, they take shit.

“On the way up”: Greater beta. At least.

“Level of chemistry and compatibility”: This guy sounds too good for her. If I were him I’d tell him to let her go get pump and dumped by the (likely married) CTO. When she comes crawling back, he can have his new, hotter girlfriend see her to the door.

“Learned a lot of this pickup stuff and is dominant”: Not seeing the problem with this guy? Oh, that’s right. He’s not a CTO. Manhattan, isle of twue wuv!

“Also can be cooperative & talk about psychology / relationships with me, which is so fascinating”: She is talking herself into staying with him. The hamster is really running the shit out of his little legs in this email.

Poor East Europe background? Irrelevant. Possible net positive, if he has brought over to America some of his cultural learnings for benefit of good wifely obedience.

Hedge fund work? Slimy, but alpha.

Sends money back home? As much as women say they admire generous family men, their self-interest pushes them into the arms of selfish men who give all their money only to wifey and the kids to the exclusion of her in-laws.

Manipulative and critical? Again, this is a characteristic of greater betas and alphas, not run of the mill betas. A beta always attempts to assuage his woman when she is upset. Stronger, more dominant men take a different tact.

Doesn’t always socially dominate/lead like other men she knows? This is beta, true. But it also shows how a woman’s perception of her lover is so heavily skewed by the behavior of other men in her social circle. If you are a beta, you’d do best to date a girl who is not often in the company of alphas.

5’10”? Neutral to slight negative.

******

The Chateau has rendered its judgment:

You are a fucking handful. You ask for advice, and yet every other sentence is a self-pleading justification for staying with your current boyfriend.

So stay with the man. But don’t be surprised if, in a few years time when his status goes up as yours is going down, he decides to dump your demanding 463 bullet-point checklist ass for a hotter chick.

Quite simply, in New York, you don’t have the looks to compete for the alphas as anything more than a convenient wet hole to be discarded unceremoniously when girlfriends #3 and #4 call.

Having delivered that harsh judgment, the Chateau does understand where you are coming from, and your feelings in the matter. A higher status CTO wants to fuck you. This makes you feel good about yourself, and you wonder if maybe, just maybe, this alpha will be the one who marries you and gives you the life of the princess stay at home mommy you’ve always dreamed of. There is room in the world for such arrangements. But based on your looks, it is more likely that you will begin dating the CTO only to either

a. find out he is married, or

b. get dumped after a three month fling.

What you didn’t tell us was a description of the looks of the CTO. If he is particularly ugly or nebbishy then there is a chance that dumping your loyal boyfriend to date him would work out for you. It’s not as if there aren’t plenty of couples featuring hot chicks dating physically unimpressive but rich herbs in our glorious cities.

But the bottom line is this: You answered your own question.

If you were truly tempted to stray with the CTO or any other high flying finance guy, you would have done it without emailing the Chateau beforehand for the imaginary green light. That you have done this instead tells us that you find yourself falling in love with your good-hearted but sometimes awkward boyfriend, and it scares you.

It scares you because love means a cutting off of options. But that is a risk worth taking. Before it’s too late.

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Virginity Is More Important To Men Than Women Would Admit

Robin Hanson has a post comparing the female preference for high status men with the male preference for virginal women. Without getting into the particulars of the comparison (a valid, if imperfect one), the larger point here is that virginity in and of itself continues influencing men’s mate choice decisions and judgments of the women they date. Even American legend Ben Franklin knew virgins were worth more than debauched women. Fuck that, women *themselves* know that virgins are higher value than sluts.

Why should the meaty intrusions of past lovers be of concern to men deciding which women to pump and dump and which women to date with more rigorous romantic investment? To find the answer to that, we must put a magnifying glass to the hindbrain. Throughout most of human existence, a woman with a sordid history of lovers presented multiple risks for the man intending to devote his resources to her and the raising of any children they would have. (“Would” being the operative word, since sex for most of our contraceptively poor ancestors usually led to children irrespective of our wishes.) The risks of committing to a non-virgin woman would be:

1. She might be carrying the unborn spawn of a recently discarded lover. (In ancient times, when the female fertile window was shorter, younger, and rarely unplundered while the plundering was good, this would be a big concern in a way it is not so much today, thanks to condoms and the pill severing the connection between sex and insta-pregnancy.)
2. She would be more likely to cheat. A slut presents a higher risk to a man of future cheating. And female cheating = threat of cuckoldry, which means it is much worse than male cheating. Chicks with high testosterone, as evidenced by a suite of mannish features, are good candidates for sluttiness and are least likely to have retained their virginity much past the age of thirteen.
3. She won’t bond as strongly from the sex act. A woman who has been around the block will find nothing spectacular about the next in line cock. (Slam poetry!) Virgins will bond like Krazy Glue to the first man who deflowers them. The love will be so strong that she will look up to him as a king, and Eat, Pray, Love boredom killing journeys of tingle-actualization will never even enter her consciousness.

And so men, for very ancient biological reasons, prefer to marry, (or in the parlance of modern thought, have a long term relationship with), virgins. This is as unalterable as the female preference for high status men.

Of course, nothing good is without its costs. Female virgins, for one, are hard to find in modern society, and are usually only available to the highest status men or to alpha teenage boys who got in on the ground floor. Very religious communities have more of them than the secular axis of ardor, but few secular men are willing to sacrifice the good times of nonmarital sex for the strictures of religion and better odds at bagging a virgin. So they suck it up and tell slutty SWPL fembots what they want to hear:

“No really, baby, I don’t care how many cocks you’ve hoovered up your hooch. I’m enlightened that way!”

…all the while drag drag dragging their feet on the marriage proposal.

Second, female virgins present a risk of sexual aloofness. Is she a virgin because she’s nobly chaste, or is she a virgin because she never felt much compulsion to have sex? As bad as marrying a high risk slut is, marrying a sexually repressed low libido woman is worse. (Although there is evidence that low libido women are really just sexually dissatisfied women who have yet to enjoy the wonders of sexual awakening with an alpha male.) Marriage isn’t much of a happy deal for men if the sex is a twice a year event. This wouldn’t be a concern if marriage adhered to the traditional notion of indentured servitude exchanged for sexual access, and men could tap that ass whenever the mood hit them, but in today’s radically feminized society, a man must have consent even with his wife, who simply cannot conceive of laying there and taking one for the team (or, heaven forfend, out of deep love for her husband’s well-being).

Third, many men fear the inexperience that female virgins are apt to bring to the bedroom. This is a minor concern, as a woman’s sexual inexperience is quickly and easily overcome as long as she has a normal sex drive. Sex isn’t friggin rocket science. A few weeks of hot nonstop sex with a virgin and she’ll have a repertoire of positions that would make Andrew Sullivan’s beagle blush.

The biggest cost to pursuing virgins is the reason why it sometimes benefits to pursue sluts:

They don’t put out.

Virgins have value as wives and girlfriends, but sluts have value as easy lays. Don’t underestimate the power of the easy lay to cloud a man’s future oriented judgment.

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Girlfriend Got A Dog

Reader R. writes:

My casual girlfriend is getting a dog, a German Sheppard. That is fine because I love dogs but I am concerned with the future early morning walk responsibility that she will try to shirk off.

I know what is going to happen: we will be in bed and the dog will bark. “Can you be a sweetheart and go walk him?”

I don’t want to go walk the dog so she can sleep. Whats the best way to deal with this? Just tell her straight up: “No, he’s your dog, walk him or let him shit on the floor.” Or should I be nicer about it? Or just ignore her and pretend to be asleep?

Goddammit. Balancing a girl and alphaness is harder than it looks. Thanks for the help.

PS, I hooked up with an exgf this past weekend after following your rules. I really enjoyed it but it awoke feeling that I still really liked this girl. I ended the relationship back in February because I could sense my slide into betatude and wanted to end it on my terms before I became pussy-whipped. (this was before I found your blog) I still don’t have her number but we have mutual friends and can get it. Should I? I would like to turn her into a fuckbuddy. Should I wait until we see each other again (mutual friends and parties etc) or wait for her to initiate contact? When we hooked up, I could tell the attraction for me was greater than ever (thanks to your advice). My willpower right now is being tested because while I would like to contact her, I would hate to destroy the frame I have created.

Thanks for all the help. I am confident that because of your words of wisdom, I am well on my way to becoming a super-alpha on campus. Bring on the fall semester and the packs of sorority girls.

This is a bigger deal than you might think. How many of you had parents who disliked animals? You would beg and plead for a dog until finally one day they caved and got you one, with the admonition that “now that you have this dog, it will be your responsibility to walk it and pick up its poop every day”. Of course, after three weeks, Dad would be schlepping it out at 6 a.m. every morning walking the dog and muttering under his breath about his damned ingrate kids.

Well, women are like those children who quickly abdicate their responsibilities when there’s someone else willing, or able to be persuaded, to do them. The mode of persuasion is usually implicit sex withdrawal, puppy dog eyes (fittingly), or empty feel-good flattery.

If you find yourself in this reader’s predicament with a girlfriend, a dog you could do without, and a looming literal shit test, you should firmly remind her you are her lover, not a dog walker for her royal highness. If this doesn’t work, buy a pet boa constrictor and kindly ask her to be a sweetheart and feed it the live mice you have stored in the pantry when you are too busy doing something else. That should help get the point across.

As for the reader’s second question, beta regression is an inherent danger in following the rules for getting back on ex-girlfriend; you might fall for her all over again, repeating the same mistakes you made the first go round. You should get her number through the mutual friend, but don’t call her for a couple weeks. (This is because your quasi-gf will be expecting a phone call from you once she hears from the mutual friend that you requested it; therefore, you must defy her expectation if you want her to vagina to simmer with piqued interest.) The trick to lassoing an ex-girlfriend into a sexual Act II is is to hammer home the impression that you absolutely do not need her in your life; rather, you *want* her around because she amuses you in a special way.

Since you did the official dumping back in February, you have hand, however tenuous you may believe that hand is. Girls are acutely sensitive to dump dynamics to the exclusion of almost all other relationship-ending factors. No matter how beta you think you acted during the waning months of the relationship, if you dumped her without warning she will carry that stingma (stigma + sting) with her for months afterward, and possibly into future relationships with betas who can’t understand why she still pines for an asshole like you.

Remember, too, that girls who aren’t fat, old or saddled with bastard spawn are rarely dumped by men; scientific calculations have shown that women do about 70-80% of all the dumping. Therefore, as a man having done the dumping, you have automatically raised your value far above the mass of men who could ostensibly compete for her attention. You now occupy an outsized place in her mind as a man higher status than all the other men currently chasing after her, regardless of the objectively measurable status differentials between you and them. Conclusion: dumping is a huge DHV. You do not need to game your ex hardcore; she is already thinking about you on a daily basis since that heartbreaking moment way back in February.

However, enough time has passed that she may just now be getting over stray thoughts of reuniting with you. It takes about six months for a cute girl to “move on” from a man who dumped her. (It takes anywhere from five years to a lifetime for a fat chick to move on from same.) Attempting to reengage via a date could backfire and destroy your frame as you mentioned. She might very well take it as an opportunity to retrieve some of the hand she lost from the initial dumping. I could easily envision her telling you a date is a bad idea, and smiling wickedly to herself once you got off the phone. Instead, I would try to arrange meetings with her at parties of friends and let nature take its course. Just keep to the Aloof and Indifferent frame and her hamster will do all the spinning for you.

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The Difficulty Of Gaming Women By Age Bracket

The following observations apply to established adult men, post college years. Younger men still in college will find their success rate with women of various ages, particularly older women (aka cougars), highly variable. The rules for them will be different than the rules for older men.

18 to 22 year olds

Hard to believe, but it is often easier to bed a very young woman than an older woman, if you are an older man. This is because 20-40% of women are specifically attracted to older men. It is hard-wired in them, and this hard-wiring can be reinforced by poor family upbringing resulting from divorce of parents or absentee fathers. Single moms are the greatest source of future generations of slutty daughters the world has ever known.

Your goal is to identify which 18-21 year olds are amenable to being seduced by you. Since a majority will balk at the idea, you should learn to quickly identify and NEXT! them. Thankfully, most girls aren’t brazen cockteases, and will make their lack of interest known early on. Beware, though, that a small minority of barely legal rapacious golddiggers will try to keep you on tenterhooks, extracting your resources for little in return. A simple preemptive qualification should suffice to smoke them out.

You can bang an 18-21 year old surprisingly quickly because they have little ASD (anti-slut defense). This is because they do not have the long history of sluttiness common to older women which needs to be rationalized away by posturing as a paragon of chaste virtue. A young woman simply won’t perceive sex with you as an admission of sluttiness. She is innocent to herself as well as to you. Plus, actual slutty behavior has been defined down so that five partners today is equivalent to one partner thirty years ago.

Caveat to the above: although you can get the bang with an 18-21 year old very quickly, you should not prime the path to banging with obvious signs of physical escalation. There is a high risk with very young women that escalating kino will be perceived as “pervy” or “creepy”. This means no PDA, no “innocent” touching of her erogenous zones, and no raunchy sex talk. You want to keep it on the superficial friend tip until she is in your place. Then you should escalate rapidly. You’d be amazed how fast the young woman sheds her clothes when the bang is in sight. Very little foreplay is required. The sex will be, as you can imagine, the hottest you will ever have.

DO NOT EVER “DATE” an 18-21 year old. Women under 23 don’t date, they “hang out”. Anything that remotely smacks of a date — drinks at a lounge, dinner for two, day trips to a museum — will scare her off. The under-23 young woman cannot handle the “seriousness” of a dating context. This is the reality of modern America. “Dating” makes younger women think “no fun, marriage, kids, pressure, relationships, stuff that older people do”. You need to be so chill that you’re barely motivated to do anything proactive with her. Instead, “hang out” with her in a neutral context. Walks along window-browsing streets are good for this. So is meeting at a local park and talking while goofing off on the swings. You can take her to a coffee shop as long as you don’t buy anything.

DON’T BE LAME. If a 19 year old (true story) offers you an E tab in a dark corner of a loud club at 1 am, don’t refuse her like some boring fuddy duddy. Either pop that baby and enjoy the ride, or pretend to take it and throw it away when she’s not looking if you’re suspicious of the pill’s origins and purity. Push for a blowjob in the alley behind the club; plans to make future dates are a fool’s errand.

DON’T BE HER DAD. Contrary to popular misconception, most young women don’t want to date a father figure. They DO want to date a strong dominant man, and older men bring that demeanor to the table. This is why it is better to dress youthfully (if you are in shape) rather than in a sharp suit and tie if it’s much younger women you want to meet. A notable minority of younger women love the business suit look, but most of them, especially the ones on the fence about dating older men, would feel more comfortable if you projected an aura of youthfulness through your dress and attitude.

23 to 27 year olds

Similar to the 18-22 year olds in terms of difficulty of picking up, with some important differences. The 23-27 year old feels she is at her attractiveness peak, despite her peak having passed a few years earlier. This is because she is surrounded by many more high status men than she was while in college (or working at the Piggly Wiggly) who are expressing sexual interest in her. This social dynamic will work to inflate her ego beyond the bounds of her actual beauty ranking. Some consequences result from this.

NEG HARDER. The 23-27 year old will require harder negging than any other age group of women, even the hotter 18 year olds. She needs her ego punctured before her pussy will open for you. Remember that cherished maxim:

Maxim #23: The defensive crouch is where pussy tingles are born.

DEFY EXPECTATIONS. She expects you to pay her way and play the role of earnest suitor. You can’t “hang out” with the 23-27 year old like you should with the 18-22 year old without staining yourself with the immaturity label, but you shouldn’t fall into her trap of arid, sexless dating either. Arrange dates that are simple and logistically favorable. Never spend more than two drinks’ worth of money on her on a single date.

DATE CONCURRENTLY. The 23-27 is, arguably, the most in-demand woman on the market. Various social factors account for this, which will be the subject of another post. Thus, she will have the greatest self-regard. Despite your best game, you may find yourself getting flaked on by a girl in this age range. A good defense is a solid offense, so minimize the creep of neediness and desperation by dating many women at once. Do not feel guilt about fucking multiple women concurrently.

THIS IS YOUR SWEET SPOT FOR GAME. No other woman will react as positively to hardcore game as the 23-27 year old. She and her sisters will be throwing meatballs at the middle of your lineup. Aim for the fences.

28 to 30 year olds

Finally, the female ego suffers chinks in its armor. She will try hard to cover these cracks, but they’ll creep out here and there. 30 is a huge and depressing milestone for women, but 29 is an even more depressing birthday. It is the “last hurrah”, so to speak, and the number taunts her daily with reminders of her impending obsolescence. A single girl who was dumped by her boyfriend and who has just turned 29 may be the easiest girl in the world to lay. You will still need to game her, but the path to sex will be exhilaratingly fast and furious.

28-30 year olds are a mixed bunch. Some are riding a wave of career and social success that has nowhere to go but down, and their bloated egos reflect that. Others, less conventionally successful, are emotionally frazzled by the disappearing act of their heady youth and by the intractability of their singledom. You will find some of the cuntiest, and sweetest, girls in this age range.

Same rules as the ones for 23-27 year olds apply to 28-30 year olds, with the exception that negging should be tailored to the life success as well as the looks of the girl you are gaming. A 30 year old businesswoman is often harder to game than a 20 year old hipster. She will need subtle reminders that her beauty isn’t what it once was.

31 to 34 year olds

In some ways, women in the 31-34 age range are the toughest broads to game. (By “toughest”, it is meant “most time consuming”.) It’s counterintuitive, yes, but there are factors at work besides her declining beauty which mitigate against the easy, quick lay. For one, it is obviously harder to meet single 31-34 year old women than it is to meet single younger women. Marriage is still a pussy-limiting force to contend with for the inveterate womanizer, but Chateau apprentices are hard at work battling the scourge of mating market disturbances caused by the grinding and churning of the marriage machine.

But the bigger reason 31-34 year olds are harder to game than any other age group of women has to do with the wicked nexus of entitlement and self-preservation that occurs at this age in women. When you combine a disproportionate sense of entitlement fueled by years of feminism, steady paychecks and promotions, and cheerleading gay boyfriends with suspicions of every man’s motives and a terrible anxiety of being used for a sexual fling sans marriage proposal, you get a venom-spitting malevolent demoness on guard against anything she might perceive as less than total subjugation to her craving for incessant flattery and princess pedestaling.

Note that Chateau guests aren’t necessarily complaining. A harder-to-game 33 year old is kind of like getting bumped down from a Honda Civic rental but driving off the lot with the consolation prize of a Ferrari.

Listen to any man who is good with women and they will tell you the same thing:

“I have an easier time bedding and dating 23 year olds than I do 33 year olds.”

This defies all logic until you see it through the eyes of the hamster sweating its fluffy ass off in a woman’s brain. (Poor little creature must be pooped out by the mid-30s.) Sure, a 33 year old is not as hot as the 23 year old version of herself, but her ASD is through the roof, as is her self-conception as a hot marriage-worthy commodity. Many older women will tell themselves that their experience, maturity, accomplishments and financial stability mean they should be way more valuable to men seeking wives than some young babe on the take. Of course, they have to tell themselves this because reality isn’t making it easy to believe.

These are the kind of women who have sexual flings with college guys, because they can psychologically box those men in as “purely for fun” adventures. But the men the 31-34 year old women really want are the older, established men who will give them a marriage proposal and a family. This is why it is counterintuitively harder to game the older woman who still retains a vestige of her youthful attractiveness: she wants and expects so much more than the younger woman.

Game required: Strong body language, masculine dominance, sharp suits and shoes, easy on the negs and palm reading, emphasis on the comfort stage, lots of travel stories, disqualify yourself from sex on the first date, vulnerability game, avoidance of the beta provider zone.

In short, if you can present yourself to her as different than the indistinguishable mass of sad schlumpy beta herbs who are her typical choice in available men, then you are guaranteed the lay. Just don’t expect to sleep with her on the first night. She will work hard to make your seduction as difficult and drawn out as possible.

Note: DO NOT SPEAK OF THE YOUNGER WOMEN YOU DATE to an older woman. You will be tempted to do this to demonstrate your higher value, but instead she will withdraw so fast into her ego-preserving turtle shell that no game will redeem the pickup. If the subject comes up, just tell her you’ve “dated many interesting women” and leave it at that.

35 year olds

This age gets a special mention. Why? Because 35 is the year of formal female expiration. (Informal expiration can occur many years later, depending on the woman’s genetic good luck.) At 35, most women are over the hill. An unmarried woman at 35 is officially in crisis mode. Full meltdown will happen within the year if she isn’t hitched in that time. You do not want to be in the vicinity of a woman in full meltdown mode. Full meltdown is accompanied by the acquisition of a second cat, alcoholism, cackling brunches of mimosas with equally pathetic Samantha wannabes, sloppy drunken one night stands with college age men which they will then rationalize as evidence of their enduring beauty, and a laundry list of annoying personality tics and neuroses that would comfortably provide for the retirement plans of ten psychotherapists.

Game required: “Hi”.

36 to 38 year olds

She is at peace with her spinsterhood and her failure in the dating market. She will acquiesce easily and gratefully to sex with very little game, as long as you don’t look like a grandpa. Her expectations are so low, it will be a challenge to disappoint her.

If you are prone to guilt, you might feel it when you inevitably dump a woman in this age range. Don’t. Remind yourself that her past is littered with her insouciant dumping of many beta men before you. You are merely an alpha agent of righteous karma.

A Chateau proprietor once dated a European 37 year old for a couple of months. She looked years younger than her age, so the sex was fun and the time together was relaxed, but everything was glazed with a tint of sadness. A vow was made never to go much above 30 again.  So far, the vow remains unbroken.

39+ year olds

No Chateau proprietor has experience dating or fucking women 39 years old or older, so we cannot offer much advice for gaming women in this age range. Yes, yes, we can all hear you crying now.

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