Settling

settle verb – to wake up one day and realize you are not god’s gift to the opposite sex

It’s funny how this became a dirty word when everyone except the thinnest slice at the top of the human status heap does it.  It’s like calling breathing a dirty word and refusing to acknowledge that you do it.  Even Jack Nicholson, a player for whom I have much respect and admiration, has to settle — there are probably a few beautiful Hollywood actresses who spurned his advances.  I have to settle as well; I always wanted Heidi Klum but she has made herself unavailable to me (so far).  Instead of spending years in celibate agony pining for Heidi I enjoyed sex and love with girls who looked like her but had different names.

i will shit test you until the day you die.

Almost universally men are more apt to settle in the short term than women.  I understand the evolutionary explanation for this.  Women stand to lose a lot more if they get pregnant by an unqualified guy.  Men can dumpster dive occasionally without incurring much cost to themselves, and in fact enjoy a significant genetic upside to doing so.

But the aversion to settling is worn by the modern cosmopolitan (read: American) woman like a badge of honor.  She proudly proclaims her steadfast determination to stick by her principles and hold out for the perfect alpha male while simultaneously bitching about her lonely spinsterhood.  This is the kind of woman who overanalyzes every little nuance of a date and then has a debriefing with her girlfriends afterwards, when she tears the guy apart and her circle jerk of enablers cackle in unison.

I have seen extreme cases where the woman went completely celibate for years out of a stubborn refusal to reevaluate her ridiculously high standards.  Virginity in a 19 year old girl is desirable, but de facto virginity in a 28 year old woman is a huge red flag.  Any woman who can go years without a good root is capable of turning down sex from her boyfriend for the flimsiest reasons.

i’m not in the mood… you’re wearing that argyle sweater again.

A woman who makes it to adulthood with a pristine pussy and her standards uncompromised should have her vagina donated to a medical museum as an example of what one looks like untouched by any penis.  Underneath would be the Latin term for the condition:

Vaginicus Unrealisticus Standardii

I have a theory why settling has become a fate worse than rape in the minds of American women.  In hunter gatherer times, when clan size was only 50 people, you’d be lucky to find just one hot girl in her prime.  The beauty scarcity meant that there was no jealousy when the hot chick hooked up with the tribal leader.  It was unremarkable.  The remaining plain janes competed over the undifferentiated swath of clanmen who ranked lower than the tribal leader.  This social dynamic helped keep women’s expectations in line with reality.  There was little pressure to snag the top dog.

Fast forward to modern society where most young women in their prime are living in giant urban enclaves of millions and hot chicks are a dime a dozen.  What do they see?  Lots of cute girls hooking up with alpha males.  Every day, everywhere.  So the average woman, who in times past would’ve been happy with the average man, now gets bombarded with visual evidence of thousands of women dating the same small pool of guys she wants, causing her expectations to balloon out of control.  She wants to keep up with the Heathers.  She asks herself why she can’t have the same thing.  She finds the thought of settling for a lesser man revolting because of the social humiliation it would entail.  If her friends are all dating doctors (sometimes the same doctor), why can’t she?  Plus, she says, look at my fancy degree and professional career!  I want that in a man so what man wouldn’t want that in me?

And so she rides the dating carousel refusing to believe that it is the disconnect between the price she puts on herself and the price her potential buyers are willing to pay that is responsible for her impressive vibrator collection.  She has lost all perspective.

This is why pumping and dumping performs a valuable public service.  With each pump and dump her oversized ego and expectations shrink, until one day the hollow shell of her washed up self falls resentfully into the arms of a waiting beta.  Or she learns to speak cat.

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Don’t Stop Thinking About The Next Girl

A big mistake guys make when they start dating a girl they really like — the “one” — is neglecting to continue going out and getting fresh leads.  I used to do this, so I know the mental processes that go through a guy’s head when he’s really into a girl he’s dating.  He channels all his pickup energy into this one girl, figuring that if he made it as far as a first or a second date he should focus like a laser beam on her pants zipper.  He spends the long days in between seeing her analyzing his progress, picking apart the meaning behind her actions (or inactions), and daydreaming about what a relationship would be like with her.  When he goes out, he gets lazy and tells himself there is no urgency to collect new numbers since he’s already dating a quality chick and most of the other girls can’t compare anyhow.

This is a sexually lethal frame of mind to put oneself in.  When a guy completely boxes himself in like this with no options to fall back on, all it takes is a change of heart by his golden girl to crush his soul and send him spiraling into morose self-examination.  It’s like investing your whole wad in a biotech startup with huge promise only to see it crash to a sub-penny stock after the CEO is convicted of fraud.  You’d have been a lot better off diversifying your portfolio in a range of pussy sectors.

As an example, once, during the course of a month, I had four second dates in a row fizzle out on me leading to no sex.  I made a critical error by jumping from one girl to the next — dating, failing, getting a new lead, dating again, failing again, etc.  My desperation and self-doubt grew with each new girl, practically ensuring failure.

The way to beat this crippling dating handicap is to follow the “two in the kitty” rule religiously.  You should date a minimum of two girls simultaneously until you have locked in your preferred girl by having sex with her at least three times.  I have found through trial and error that a girl will bond to you after the third bang.  Before that, it’s a crapshoot and depends on the girl’s innate femininity.  Because modern girls have taken on male characteristics (especially DC girls who are more masculine than girls from less ambitious or overeducated towns) and are sluttier than past generations, the first or second bang won’t guarantee emotional attachment.  By the third bang, however, you will notice a very perceptible shift in the balance of power.  Suddenly, she will call and text you first, ask about your weekend schedule, tell you to “give me a call soon”, start doing favors for you, cuddle longer, and generally betray signs of nervousness when you make yourself physically or emotionally scarce.

That is when you will have her in the palm of your hand and can steer the relationship in the direction you want it to go.

A guy can achieve this if he adheres to these fundamental principles:

1. Other girls CAN compare.  Girls are more interchangeable than you’d think.  Don’t get sucked into “oneitis”.
2. If you date one girl exclusively and she really turns you on, you WILL give off a needy vibe at some point during the pre-sex seduction no matter how much experience you have.  The best players who have ice running through their veins and cyborgian state control get that way because they date and fuck many girls concurrently.
3. A good date means nothing.  The only thing that matters is penis in vagina, and even then a feeling of security is not assured until the penis has penetrated the vagina on at least three different occasions.  (Three times in one night does not count.)
4. You will find it easier to close the deal with your number one girl if you are banging a number two and three girl.  A man getting regular sex has an aura that girls subconsciously register in their hindbrains.  Don’t ask me how this happens, but it does.  The Aura is very powerful, like the chemical hormones secreted by ants and bees to get them to cooperate as a social structure, and will be your Valkyrie in the battle for pussy.
5. Approach the game while dating as ardently as you do when you are dating no one.  If you have a date Tuesday, go out Monday and Wednesday and get more numbers.  Even if you fail at getting numbers, just taking the initiative of meeting new girls and chatting them up will reduce the neediness you feel with your date.
6. Never, EVER, feel guilty for dating and banging many girls simultaneously.  The mating marketplace is a battlefield and the Genitalia Convention rules of engagement clearly stipulate that it’s open season for fucking around until terms of exclusivity are tendered.  This is not your mother’s dating environment.
7. A hot chick is MORE likely, not less, to continue seeing you if you tell her you are “dating around”.  A guy who knows he has options and is in fact exercising those options is extremely attractive to a girl.

Don’t give a girl the chance to pull the rug out from under you.  Have another ten rugs underneath that one and you will glide through your interactions with women like a shark through a school of mackerel.

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She Showed Herself Out

The weekend morning after a questionable hook-up I often scramble to find a plausible excuse that will gently cajole the girl out the door without hurting her feelings.

“I’d love to hang with you today but I’ve got to take my car into the shop.  Big job… it’ll probably take a few hours.”  [my Japanese car has now been in the shop over 20 times this year thanks to this ploy]

“Getting brunch with you sounds great, but I promised my Mom I’d visit her today.  I’m guessing it’s too early for you to see my Mom.”

“I’ve got a painting class in… oh shit, I’m late!… 15 minutes!  Sorry to do this to you but my art is important to me.”

I suspect most girls see through this bullshit, especially the girls who are prone to sleep with a guy on the first night.  Their direct first-hand experience with guys trying to get rid of them after sex must be unparalleled.  The problem is that I really don’t want to spend a precious weekend day with a marginal girl strolling Wisteria Lane while bluebirds drape garlands of flowers over us.  But I’m not a heartless bastard (much) either, so I work hard on tossing her out with grace and civility, hopefully keeping the door open for future loving.

I remember what it’s like to kick a girl out badly.  One time, before I had the skills to handle morning after mistakes properly, the girl had looked at me forlornly with big, watery eyes as I walked her toward the door, and meekly asked if I wanted to get breakfast with her.  It was her last ditch effort for some symbolic gesture from me that she meant more than the previous night.

I answered “Um, I ate last night.  The best way for you to get home is to take the metro.”

She gathered her stuff, purse over one arm, jacket over the other, and sullenly walked past me as I stood next to the door.  Later, when I had shaken off the hangover and it had dawned on me that this girl was Swedish and a solid 8, I slapped my hand against my forehead and wondered aloud what the hell I was thinking.  The following day in an act of phone game contrition, I called her number.  It was futile.  Her roommate picked up her phone and said my girl didn’t want to talk to me.  No surprise… recapturing a girl’s interest after you have humiliated her by treating her like a disposable slut is akin to putting the toothpaste back in the tube.

So imagine my relief at sidestepping all the awkwardness when a girl does the dirty work for me, letting me entirely off the hook, by preemptively showing herself the door.

Her:  I’d love to cuddle some more but I’ve got work later and some chores to do today.
Me:  [barely suppressing grin]  Well, if this is what you have to do, then I guess I won’t stop you.  I mean, I’d love for you to hang out today but since you’ve got things to do…
Her:  Well, maybe for a couple hours, if you want.
Me:  Uhh, you know, you go ahead and do your stuff… we’ll catch up when we have more free time and can really enjoy each other’s company.

A girl who shows herself out is a keeper.

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Fat American Women = Dating Disparity

There is no doubt the obesity epidemic in the U.S. tilts the dating playing field in favor of those women who manage to keep their figures.  The growing bloat of half the female population guarantees that slender women are more in demand than ever, and I believe this is a major contributing factor to the runaway egos and entitlement complexes of American women in general.

To see how this might be so, three premises need to be examined.

1.  Does obesity handicap the dating prospects of afflicted women more than it does afflicted men?

Since American men are getting fatter at about the same rate as American women it’s reasonable to ask if this neck and neck race to the fattest helps keep the dating market balanced and the prospects for finding love equal between the sexes.  The answer is no.  Men are much more visually driven than women when judging the opposite sex for mate worthiness and rolls of fertility-concealing blubber that disfigure a woman’s natural hourglass shape and sexually arousing appearance will harm her attractiveness to men a lot worse than being overweight will harm a man’s attractiveness to women.

This is a simple fact of life.  A rich or smart or funny guy who is 30 pounds overweight will have an easier time in the dating market than a kind and sweet and personable woman overweight by the same amount.  Guys have many more compensatory qualities they can bring to the table to neutralize the disadvantage of being fat, whereas fat women, no matter how well cultivated their other attributes, cannot win over the men they want without lowering their standards to the basement or accepting a life of constant pump and dumps from players on the prowl for easy noncommital sex.

Furthermore, it is a myth that fat guys, through the power of their expanding guts, magically discover the appeal of fat chicks.  The fat guys you see hooking up with fat chicks do so BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE.  The truth is that fat guys lust after hot slender babes just as much as thin guys do.

2.  Does the obesity epidemic directly improve the dating prospects of women who stay in shape?

Given that fat girls have poor dating prospects even among fat guys, and that almost all guys are attracted to thin girls (the tiny population of fatty fucking fetishists to the contrary notwithstanding), the remaining thin girls will see their sexual market value skyrocket.  This smaller pool of attractive women means that each hot chick can date up higher than she would have otherwise.

A thin girl whose looks are magnified in contrast to the fat chicks around her and who is pursued by all the men will command a much higher price — and a bigger sense of self-worth — than a thin girl in a roomful of other thin girls who is pursued by a fraction of the available men who must divide their attention between multiple targets.

In the former scenario, it will not take the thin girl long to perceive her inflated market value and act accordingly.  A monstrous bitch shield ensues.

This is why the hot girl with a fat friend will subconsciously ENABLE HER FAT FRIEND’S WEIGHT PROBLEM, and why the fat girl will try to drag her hot friend into the bottom of the Ben and Jerry’s pint with her.  It is against the genetic interests of both of them to encourage female competition.  They are in it to win it, just like the rest of us.

3.  Do the numbers justify a connection between obesity and typical American woman attitudes?

Let’s check the numbers.  First, I’ll show through the illuminating power of my handy charts the ideal attractive weight for women.  (I’ve used the 1959 Met Life insurance tables for this analysis as they more accurately reflect optimum weights than recent tables which have had to adjust upwards to account for American “grade inflation”.)

Categories 

Ideal Weight: BMI 17.6 – 21.  99% of men find women in this range to be hot.

Maximum Healthy Weight: BMI 25.  The upper limit of what the medical establishment classifies as healthy weight.  (Note that “healthy” and “aesthetically pleasing to men” are not necessarily the same.)  30% of men will find women over the ideal weight but within the healthy weight sexually attractive.  The other 70% will think they are chubby, but still bangable if the effort required to close the deal is not too great.

Overweight: BMI 25.1 – 30.  The weight at which a woman becomes officially fat.  Less than 10% of men will find women in this range sexually attractive.  Men who can get slender girls will not even look twice at women in this group.

Obesity… and Beyond!: BMI 30+.  Over 98% of men will be actively repulsed by these women.

Height       Ideal Weight    Max Healthy    Overweight      Fatass!

5’0″           90-107             128                129-154             155+
5’1″           93-111             132                 133-159             160+
5’2″           96-115             137                 138-164             165+
5’3″           100-119           141                142-169             170+
5’4″           103-123           146                147-175             176+
5’5″           106-127           151                152-180             181+
5’6″           109-131           155                156-186             187+
5’7″           112-135           160                161-192             193+
5’8″           115-139           164                165-197             198+
5’9″           119-143           169                170-203             204+
5’10”         123-147           174                175-209             210+
5’11”         126-151           179                180-215             216+
6’0″           130-155           184                185-221             222+
6’1″           133-159           190                191-227             228+
6’2″           137-163           195                196-234             235+

Now let’s look at the demographics.  According to the 2000 U.S. Census, there are approximately 40 million American women between the ages of 20 and 39 (a range which roughly matches a woman’s fertile years and maximum dating marketability).  Using my handy chart above, we establish a threshold of BMI 25 as the point at which a woman takes a non-trivial hit to her sexual worth.  As her BMI steadily increases, more and more men will regard her with cold asexual indifference culminating in outright revulsion.  An American Medical Association study classified 52% of all women between the ages of 20 and 39 as overweight or obese with a BMI of 25 or higher.  (The CDC also has similar studies on obesity.)

That’s HALF of all women in the prime dating years who have damaged or even completely trashed their sexual appeal to men through sloth and gluttony.  They have made their search for love unnecessarily harder by their choices.

There are 20 million American women at a healthy weight competing for the attentions of 40 million men in the same age bracket.  Even this lopsided number doesn’t tell the whole story.  Of those 20 million women, a smaller number are at the ideal sexual attractiveness weight of BMI 17.6 to 21, given that the upper bound of healthy weight is BMI 25.  The ideal attractive BMI is about half the total healthy BMI, so the number of slender babes that are maximally attractive to the vast majority of men is really in the neighborhood of 10 million.  Remember that this analysis does not factor in facial ugliness which would surely whittle away at the number of attractive women further.

Finally, we must stipulate that the tendency of women as they age to date increasingly older men than themselves means that the figure of 40 million men is actually too low.  Extending the dating market of men to age 50 adds another 20 million to their total number.  Controlling for marriage makes no difference because the ratio of single men to single women remains the same.

This brings us to the final tally of potentially 60 million men hotly pursuing 10 million women.  That’s a 6 to 1 dating ratio.  Talk about a stacked deck.

If you want to know why American women have such unrealistic expectations, ridiculously out-of-sync standards, neurotically overblown egos, schizophrenic flakiness, and chronic selfishness —
it’s all in the numbers.
the fat, porky, tubby numbers. 

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Interracial Loving

My first dating experience years ago with a black girl was a positive one.  She was really cute with a penchant for wearing stiletto heels and a habit of flaky behavior that I found endearing.  I remember the reactions we got walking down the street together holding hands.  Most people let their glances linger a fraction of a second longer than they otherwise would have.  In hindsight, I understood why this might’ve created some curiosity in people; a white man with a black woman is one of the rarer combos.  Onlookers naturally want to figure out what’s bringing us two together, so they examine us for clues, maybe like matching shoes or to see if I was acting black or she was acting white. I don’t give these things too much thought when I’m out with a girl of another race because I like to throw all my mental energy into enjoying the woman rather than overanalyzing the societal implications of our pairing.

But while we were dating some things did catch my attention.  The black guys we passed on the sidewalk stared at us longer than other people did and made Hmm mm damn sounds which I can only describe as a mixture of disapproval and respect. The black women we walked by, on the other hand, had a much stronger reaction.  Curious and aroused, they eye loved me like I was the filet mignon of manmeat.  I think I could have given every one of them an open invitation to join me and my date later in the evening for a night of 50 on 1 group sex that would have qualified for the Gold Edition Penthouse Forum. I recall the sex pretty vividly because she was exotic new territory for me.  I’ll admit I was intimidated when we started banging because I figured most of her experience was with black guys and their huge schlongs.  She climbed on top and a wave of relief swept over me when I hit her cervical wall.  I was big enough for her.

This next part I’m about to describe is a little racy, so those with small children may want to cover their kids’ eyes with their hands. After a while we barebacked raw dogged it (thanks, roosh) and the money shots were incredibly stimulating for me.  I loved how aesthetically pleasing was the contrast between the white jizz and the black skin.  Like modern art, the geometric arrangement and bold ejaculatory strokes set against the dark canvas of her smooth skin prompted me to admire my handiwork like I was pausing in front of a particularly abstruse painting in a museum to contemplate its majesty.  Plus, it made finding the mess easier for cleanup. We drifted apart quickly, but it was the outlook difference — or maybe my poor bump and grinding dancefloor skills — not the race difference, that was primarily responsible.  Though in thinking about it, I wonder if we had stayed together the racial differences wouldn’t’ve intruded at some point.  We didn’t date long enough for any “race issues” to potentially become a factor.  Nevertheless, I have fond memories.  Actually, I have fond memories from almost every girl I’ve let into my life. Except the lawyers.  *shudder*

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Sex Machine

I strongly suspect there is a correlation between a woman’s body type and her preferred method of lovemaking.

Narrow hips + muscular upper body + high and tight ass + abs + dark forearm hair = Fucks like a man.

built to be on top with a riding crop

Curvy hips + baby fat + wide and plump ass + delicate upper body + small belly pouch = Makes love.

oxytocin factory

The farther a woman is from the ideal feminine, the more likely she will be to fuck like a sex machine, all pistons and friction.  She will be the type of girl who is not as emotionally hollowed by bed-hopping.

The closer a woman gets to the superfeminine in body shape, facial features, and temperament, the more submissive and tender will be her lovemaking.  For her, the culmination of the act is not in orgasm but in the bonding and the joy of knowing she is pleasing her lover.  Expect her legs to wrap around you during sex in a subconscious display of possession. 

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Signs Of Sluttiness

There are a few red flags that tip me off about a girl’s sexual history.  I’m a big fan of loose girls as they make my job easier, but there’s no doubt a girl who has spread for you, your friends, your father, mr. ed loses some luster in my eyes.

If I take a girl back to her place for the first time and her roommates act like my presence is no big deal, I lower my opinion of her.  I’m a guy these roommates have never met before, there to engage in explicit acts of defilement, and they’re coming up to me shaking my hand all smiles and telling me to make myself comfortable and would I like anything to drink?  This is how that gets processed in my brain:

Just another guy that XXX has brought back with her.  We’re so accustomed to this by now the shock and awe has worn off.  In fact, maybe I should tell him the house rules about disposing of used condoms.

Here’s a hint, ladies.  When I go back to your place and you have roommates, I want your roomies scurrying like rats looking for a dark place to hide.  I do not want it to be the View with special male guest.  Unless your roommates are cute females open to group sex, nothing kills the passion faster than a nonchalant hippie commune vibe.

***

I appreciate a girl who asks if I have a condom.  But when I don’t and she reaches into her nightstand to get one I don’t want to see six different varieties (especially Trojan Magnum) in half-empty econoboxes tumble out.  Again, this is what I’m thinking:

So you work as a condom quality control tester.  After much trial and error with repeated penetrations from an assortment of penis shapes and sizes you have zeroed in on your favorite brand.

“Happen” to have one lying around.  Ignorance is bliss.

***

Spontaneous dirty talk is hot.  Sex talk that sounds like either you watch a lot of porn and are trying to mimic a pornstar (which is kinda pathetic) or it was rehearsed over and over again with many different guys until you got it just right is not hot.  I don’t want our intimacy to sound scripted.

Yeah, right there, fuck me right there.  yeah you like it there don’t you?  Oh yeah, a little harder.  Harder.  HARDER!  you want some of this?  you like my tight pussy?  stick it in me deep.  all the way in.  fuck me fuck me fuck me oh yeah i’m a bad girl aren’t i? you like a bad girl dontcha?  oh yeah your cock is soo big it feels soo good a little more like that just like that.  you love jamming it into my hot wet tight pussy…

Sometimes silence is golden.  A soft moan goes a long way.

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