At yet another internet portal leading to a giant flapping angry vagina, a bitchy woman reveals, unintentionally, hilariously, a list of 22 excellent negs, teases, challenges, and disqualifications that would work very well as pick-up tactics. She begins,
Don’t say any of these phrases to a girl. In fact, don’t even think them around girls. If you do, be prepared for the wrath.
What follows is not so much “the wrath” as a bandwidth-eating mess of GIFs which she uses as a crutch to compensate for her total absence of a sense of humor. Like other bishes of her kind, you can properly assume that when a blogger bish gets all wound up with no where logical to go, she’s recently been dumped by an aloof alpha lover and is trying to assuage her butthurt ego by pretending it was his lack of betaboy politesse that really caused the breakup. This is never more apparent than when the limbically bruised bish logs online to vent her spleen about a laundry list of supposed horribly inconsiderate alpha male habits that… coincidentally!… every man she’s ever banged and prayed would become her long term boyfriend exhibited in her company.
Here’s her list, minus her vapid snark. You tell me if you don’t think these are the sorts of lines that natural womanizers employ with impunity.
1.”You look really tired.”
Tingles are born in the defensive crouch.
2. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
This is a great opener, especially if paired with a long pregnant pause, followed by some silly construct, like “Don’t take this the wrong way, but……….. paper or plastic?”
3. “You remind me of my mom.”
Fantastic neg. Is this a bad thing, or a good thing? It’s not like you think ill of your own mother.
4. “Are you on your period?”
This is a version of “nuke the hamster from orbit” game. “Are you on your period?…. Because I heard that girls who drink gin and tonics are flowing like the Nile.”
5. “Are you wearing that?”
This line provides a good conversation thread break to what you think would look good on her.
6. “You might be able to fit into this.”
Spin, hamster, spin.
7. “Your sister is so hot!”
Neg. Is she chopped liver by comparison, or does hotness run in her family?
8. “You have a really pretty face.”
This is what the bish wrote: Just my face? What, you made it past my neck and decided that the rest of me was hideous? And that, gentlemen, is exactly what a tight neg is supposed to accomplish.
9. “Your hair looks way better (shorter, darker, longer, up, etc.).”
Chicks dig a judgmental man. Why? Because it means he can afford to be judgmental.
10. “You’re still hungry?”
#FatShamingForever. Nip that Jabba wannabe in the bud.
11. “Why are you freaking out?”
This tactic is less effective within the firm shell of a relationship than it is when unloaded during the dating period. All I can say is that if you have a girlfriend who freaks out a lot, you’re better off telling her to stop than asking her why she won’t stop.
12. “Didn’t you wear that last week?”
Related: Classic PUA neg: “Great dress. It must be popular. I saw two girls wearing it last week.”
13. “You ask a lot of questions.”
This line is very effective when delivered on a first or second date. It immediately imbues you with an air of mystery while insinuating that the girl is so into you she can’t help but be curious.
14. “I don’t know if I trust your cooking.”
Great challenge that can lead to a funny conversation.
15. “It’s not you; it’s me.”
If a man says this nowadays, he’s obviously being ironic. Or a mischievous asshole. Translation: He doesn’t care what you think of the line.
16. “Is that your real hair?”
Neg. Chicks will claim it’s offensive, but their muff moistening belies their words.
17. “Don’t be mad; I was just kidding!”
This is actually the one line on the list that men should avoid saying. Not because it’ll make the girl mad, but because it’s supplicating and unattractive.
18. “Are you sick?”
If a girl gets this line a lot, she may want to see a doctor.
19. “You’re crazy.”
Challenging a girl to prove she’s not crazy is liable to make her even crazier… thinking about you.
20. “You have a lot of feelings.”
Love the ambiguity.
21. “Calm down.”
Sean Connery knows how to calm a woman down.
22. “How much do you weigh?”
“I’m curious. You have the body for a bobsledder.”
“What does that mean?!”
“Hey, bobsledders are HOT. Do you have a problem with bobsledders? My beloved grandmother was a bobsledder, and she was CHOICE back in her day.”
Programming note: It’s a good time to reflect how fantastically obnoxious American women have become. Ladies, if you’re reading, a helpful tip: You have to work to please men as men work to please women. Somewhere along the way, a fat lot of you forgot that simple truth, thinking that the world, and the world’s men, owe you something for nothing. Worse, owe you for acting like roaring cunts. Rest assured, reality will set you right in short order.