A Deposed Queen

I could have a beer with this guy.

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No Contest

22 year old = $5K/hr to do unsafe things in bed.
50 year old = couldn’t give it away for free.

This despite the fact his wife is better looking than 99% of 50 year old women.

another hit in the wall…

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Deaf Woman Tries To Pick Me Up

I don’t normally feel bad when I have to reject a woman, but this time I did. I had a deaf woman come onto me in writing. She stared at me hard from a few feet away, and I stared back, which in hindsight was a mistake because she didn’t meet my minimum attractiveness threshold. I should have done the right thing and looked away in mild disapproval, but her flagrant violation of American girl flirting norms with the extended eyeplay piqued my curiosity.

She tapped my arm and handed me a small notepad and a pen. On the pad were written some words in red ink, the color of love. She wanted me to write something in reply. I have reproduced the gist of our ensuing notepad conversation.

Her: Hi.
Me: Hi back.
Her: I’m from San Diego. Where are you from?
Me: {lame opener. another girl with no game.} I’m from XX.
Her: What do you think of this bar? It seems snobby. (she turns her nose up with her finger.)
Me: It is. We’re all hipster snobs here.
Her: (laughs without actually making the laughing noise.) I think u r 2 cute.

At this point I realize I have led her on and need to find a way to extricate myself before I waste more time entertaining a woman I am not interested in banging. But she is persistent, and her disability has prevented me from cutting off our written communication abruptly.

Me: Thx.
Her: Do you live around here?
Me: Yes.
Her: I’m staying with my two friends over there. They live nearby.

I looked where she was pointing and saw two attractive girls signing each other, then kissing. (!) Sensing what was going through my mind, my deaf woman quickly scratched out a note.

Her: They are girlfriends and don’t sleep with guys. They approve of you.
Me: They have good taste.

Meanwhile, this guy is loudly telling me to write down a request for a threesome and anal sex and to draw a sketch of a blowjob in her pad. The girls can’t read lips so even though they are standing right there they suspect nothing.

Her: I’m only in town for this weekend then I go back to San Diego. Would you like to come back to my place?
Me: I’ve sorta been dating a girl for a month who I like and I’d feel guilty about it.

This excuse was partially true. I was seeing a girl for a month and I did like her, but I wouldn’t feel guilty enjoying an easy one night stand with another woman.

Her: That’s OK. I have a boyfriend in San Diego.

I looked at the notepad with knitted brow. I didn’t know what to write. She grabbed it back.

Her: I’m only here for this weekend then I’m back home forever. You’re completely free after that. What do you say?

Her handwriting was getting sloppier.

Me: I really like this girl I’m dating. You’re great, but it wouldn’t be fair to her.

She glanced back at her two lesbian friends and they exchanged a few frantic hand signs. There was no subtlety. Although I can’t read sign language, it was easy to see her friends wanted her to wrap it up so they could go home and scissor. They even made the universal scissor sign with their fingers. Horny deaf woman gave it one last shot.

Her: You’ll never meet another woman like me.
Me: That’s true. (weak smile)
Her: This is your chance to sleep with a deaf woman.

Suddenly I was intrigued. Despite my many adventures, I don’t have a deaf girl notch. I decided to reconsider her offer. Her body was tight and lean — definitely fit enough to arouse me if it was attached to a different face. I squinted my eyes to see if it improved her looks. It was too dark in the bar. I needed better lighting for a final binding assessment. I leaned over to write my response in the notepad by a candle nearby and motioned for her to lean toward me to read what I wrote, hoping to get a good look at her face in the illumination of the candlelight.

Disappointment. She had the beginnings of jowls and regrettable crows’ feet. There was just too much age for me to put the hard work in to passively let her close the deal and rape me back at her friends’ place. Had she been only one point higher on the 1 to 10 facial scale, I would’ve gone for it. Having sex with a deaf woman is the kind of thing I would tell my grandkids as they sat in my lap.

Me: I would if things were different. But no.
Her: Really? You won’t meet many other deaf women.
Me: I know, but I can’t.
Her: OK. It was great to meet you.

A long lingering hug followed. She would use this hug later to masturbate.

It was too bad. I’m left to wonder if deaf women make funny moans at the moment of orgasmic release. And to think, no post-coital chit chat. Nothing but golden silence.

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32 Vs. 21

I can draw a precise comparison of the sex appeal in the bedroom between a 32 year old woman and a 21 year old woman because I’ve had the opportunity to sleep with both within two weeks of each other. This means my memory of how they compare is strong. The average guy who has moved onto banging 30+ year old women has not slept with a 21 year old since his college days, and so won’t remember in lucid detail just how much better a younger girl’s body looks and feels naked.

This is why you should always take older men’s opinions of the sexual appeal of older women with a grain of salt; they have weaker memories of the superiority of their long-ago conquests, and their fragile egos oblige them to proclaim endless paeans to the wonders of the older woman.

Following is a side-by-side comparison of sex between a 32 year old woman and a 21 year old woman. Any differences between the two are age-related only, as neither one exercised regularly and both looked attractive fully clothed.

21 year old

Visual – When she took off her clothes my hard on got harder. There is nothing like a flawless woman’s body. No creases, no wrinkles, no cellulite. All the curves flowed gracefully without interruption by pockets of fat or love handles. The area where the ass cheeks meet the back of the legs – usually the first place to betray the droopiness of aging – was smooth. I wanted to stare at her naked body all day long.

Feel – Despite never having lifted a weight in her life, her flesh was firm, resilient, and supple. Her muscle tone was taut and gravity-defying. Her skin like silk ribbons. Her labia possessed the springiness of a marine’s cot. My hard on felt like it was bursting out of its skin wrapper.

Smell – A young woman is drenched in estrogen and these vapors send waves of pleasure through the male brain as they are inhaled. Guys will know what I’m talking about when I describe the sensation of getting a lap dance from an especially beautiful and fertile young girl and her natural aroma emanating from her pores grips you in sudden arousal. The smell of youthful femininity is more intoxicating than the sweetest rose.

Experience – In this age of ubiquitous porn, bedroom skills aren’t an issue. Every girl has seen the sex act by the time she has graduated high school. In my opinion, experience is highly overrated anyhow. It’s the plaintive ego-salving of older women who want to believe experience can make up for lost looks. Of all the girls I’ve slept with, I can think of only one off the top of my head who remotely resembled a “dead fish” in the sack. If the girl is cute and she likes you, she’ll gyrate her hips, return your thrusts, moan, wrap her legs, and run her hands up and down your back, which is really all she needs to do to qualify as an acceptable lay. Any cradling of your balls just before you jizz is bonus points. It’s not rocket science.

32 year old

Visual – When she took off her clothes the best I could muster was a chubby. It’s not that she was fat; in fact, she was the same weight and height of the 21 year old. The devil is in the details. The subtle age-related flaws in her body combined to produce an overall effect of fading femininity. There were creases and dimples in places there shouldn’t have been. A small pouch had begun to develop in her lower abdomen. The bottom of her tits pressed against her chest. Unlike the 21 year old, I could not get hard just looking at this woman. Squinting helped.

Feel – One word: squishy. If I had tried to bounce a quarter off this woman’s body, it would have sunk into her spongy flesh. There is nothing more… deflating… than squeezing a chunk of ass meat only to pull away with folds of loose skin in your hand. Even her pussy looked older; the lips more floppy and bedraggled, the color a washed-out hue. Since visual stimulation and the feel of her body were not working to arouse me, I had to mentally concentrate very hard on the tip of my dick building friction with her vaginal wall in order to cum. This is why you will see older women in porn work the penis like a piston with their mouths and hands – hard, firm, and unrelenting tactile stimulation is the only way they can get a guy off.

Smell – Whatever alluring scent a young women has is gone by the time she hits her 30s, to be replaced by some rather astringent odors. The faint whiff of baby powder is missing from the older woman’s skin.

Experience – There can be such a thing as too much experience. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than a woman giving you directions in bed on how to please her sexually. Because she has learned over the years which positions and movements bring her to orgasm reliably, she refuses to deviate from her gameplan, and has closed herself off to spontaneous sexual expression.

Advice from my heart:
To all 30+ year old women – If you want to stay in the game and compete with the younger competition, lift weights regularly and stop directing the action during sex like you were Spielberg’s protege. This will give you a fighting chance against out-of-shape 21 year olds.

Moral of this post:
What a horrible cruel joke of the universe is the brief window of a woman’s beauty. Proof, as if any was needed, that god does not exist.

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Girls At Different Ages

The following are one sentence observations of girls I’ve dated in the past five years sorted by their ages.

19 – Slipped me a pink pill in Club Five and flaked on the third date.

21 – She made a CD mix to play while we ate a home-cooked meal by candlelight — in her husband’s apartment.

23 – Needed zero foreplay.

24 – Smoked pot with me and cried a lot about the magic of being in love.

25 – Fingerbanged her in my car and caught her looking over her shoulder at me after we parted going in opposite directions.

26 – Loved to power shop and fuck standing up and talk about herself.

27 – Required three traditional dates (i.e.: I pay) before putting out.

28 – Argumentative.

29 – Flaky like the 19 year old, but minus the charm and flirtatious banter.

30 – Jumped straight out of bed early on a weekend morning to “accomplish things” after a night of earthshaking sex.

31 – Screwed like a man and talked aloud about the chores she had to do for the day.

32 – Lights off sex interrupted by dispassionate instructions on how to please her.

34 – Showered me with excessive flattery and trolled for same in return.

35 – Left bra on during sex.

Trends… I sees them.

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