What The World Would Look Like With No Men

Fat lesbians.

LESBIANS are twice as likely as heterosexual women to be overweight or obese, which puts them at greater risk for obesity-related health problems and death, US researchers said.

Men keep women in check. Freed from the biological need to be visually attractive to men, women regress quickly to a state of blubbery bliss.

“The results of these studies indicate that lesbian women have a better body image than do heterosexual women,” they wrote.

Lesbians don’t care very much about looks in their partners, so bloating up like a fat cow won’t cause them psychic distress. When feminists (AKA radicalized man-hating lesbians) complain about the harm society does to a woman’s body self-image, what they are really lamenting is a world where men have sexual preferences. A feminist fantasy land is one where men have no preferences and women can pick and choose from whatever man she wants, while suffering no consequences from getting fat, old, or ugly.

Makeup, fashion, and staying in shape are evidence that women compete for the attention of men. When they opt out of the competition for men altogether, like lesbians have done, they stop bothering with those things. Analogously, gay men rarely bother with long sex-delayed courtships and promises of commitment.

Moral of the story: Women and men are judged for their worth in the sexual market. “Judge not lest ye be judged” is a lie to protect the feelings of the losers in life. Taking the high road will not save you from the judgement of others.

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Porker Potential

If you insist on ignoring the plain facts of day and all the advice I give here, and act against your self-interest by getting married, you should at least take care to avoid investing in any product that carries a high risk of MASSIVELY depreciating after the first bite of wedding cake. You don’t want to be left holding a penny stock wife who has ballooned up and lost all her initial value. You’ll want to screen for Porker Potential.

There are a few red flags you should learn to spot before blowing your wad on that whore status symbol engagement ring. Commenter Married But Cool noted in the comments to this post the following risk factors:

I’m quite sure we could somehow develop a scientific method to quantify this objectively, taking such factors into account as:

* age
* height
* pounds currently overweight
* current weight of mother
* weight history
* build characteristics

Usually, men can intuitively see this coming.  Its offensive to me when I see this happen.  Its the same as a guy being industrious when he is dating, and becoming and unemployed couch potato after marriage.

Age is certainly important. Older women have slower metabolisms, and if they hadn’t adopted good exercise and eating habits in their youth then they certainly won’t develop those habits later in life.

Obviously, her current BMI is a dead giveaway. Marrying a fat girl with a pretty face (you guesstimate) in the hopes that you can motivate her to lose weight with your persuasive charms and loving encouragement is a recipe for disappointment. Nothing short of electroshock therapy or breaking up with you to hunt for new men will cause her to lose the weight. You’re not a woman; you don’t want a “project” on your hands.

If she was thin in the past but got fat while she was with you, and you think this means your love can inspire her to recapture her former slender glory, you can forget it. She got fat because she disrespects you as a man. Any woman who respects her man also respects his sexual needs, and that means keeping a slender hourglass figure. I know some couples who get fat together because subconsciously it gives them a feeling of comfortable security that neither one is attractive to any other human being, and therefore unable to cheat — we call these couples “losers”. The strongest marriages are those where each partner knows the other has options, but the man has slightly more options than the woman.

Probably the BIGGEST factor is whether she was a former fatty. Past porkiness is no guarantee of future fatassery, but it comes damn close. Look at her old childhood, high school, and college photos. Was she a fat kid? You’ve got two weeks, tops, of hot honeymoon sex before the cottage cheese ripples like a flesh tsunami across her ass.

The second biggest factor is the size of her mother. Is this your girlfriend’s future?:

Then run for the hills.

Race is another factor. Thin Asian chicks rarely get fat after marriage. Stay away from Mexicans. Starch bombs!

Also screen for an inordinate love of food. Girls who are obsessed with food favor gastronomic satisfaction over sexual satisfaction. You want a girl who likes to cook… for you. On her own time she nibbles asparagus sprigs.

Personality traits are important for screening. Watch for chronically depressed girls. When a girl is depressed, she turns to heavy fatty foods to lift her mood. Don’t think you can substitute for food as her mood-lifter. No man has ever been able to compete with pastries for the heart of a depressed girl. The biofeedback is simply too intense; the fatter she grows, the sadder she feels, and the more she eats to alleviate the pain. If you’re lucky, she’ll turn to drugs instead. Heroin chic beats Lane Bryant lardo any day.

Finally, you’ll want to check for telltale physical signs of the coming fatocalypse. These are found in the plumpness of her earlobes, the depth of hang of her upper arms, a nascent FUPA crease or neck wattle, the number of inches her inner thighs touch when she stands, the protrusion of her outer labia, the pendulousness of her breasts, her ankle and wrist circumference, the pocket of fat that sits above the hips, and any hint of a joey pouch, among others.

Here is a handy chart for predicting the odds your girlfriend will bloat up after she enslaves you and your assets with a marriage contract.

Girlfriend’s Current Status                             Odds of Post-Wedding Bloat

21 years old
Current BMI: 19
No previous fatness
Her mom: MILF
Asian                                                                            0%
Small recipe book with your favorite meals
Upbeat
Cures her depression with sex
Thin wrists, ankles, and arms

36 years old
Current BMI: 25
Former fatty
Her mom: Orca
Mexican                                                                       100%
Library of cookbooks signed by Emeril
Gothically depressed
Cures her depression with fudge
Cankles

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You Only Like Me Now Because I’m Thin

About five years ago I had a two month fling with a young girl. She had a cute face but was a little on the chubby side, probably 15 pounds over ideal female weight for her height. As a result, I didn’t put much effort into dating her, preferring instead to enjoy the easy sex (mostly blowjobs) and being aloof while she chased me. And chase she did. The hard-to-get badboy attitude worked like magic on her because she was a girl of “high primativeness“:

The primativeness correlates more with emotionality than with culture. Instinctive programs, when finding resemblance of internal signaling attributes with some factors of outside situation, create corresponding emotions and a highly primative person gladly submits to them. A low primative person, feeling the same forceful emotions, is capable of acting contrary to them. […]

As was mentioned above, women trust intuition and feelings more than logical conclusions, this composes a so-called woman’s logic. I.e. the highly primative specimens are prevalent among women. […]

There is a widespread opinion among the vulgar public that it is necessary to beat a wife from time to time. By this a husband beating his wife demonstrates kind of high rank (visual, of course). And this can even attract a low cultural woman especially with high primativeness (masochism probably grows on this ground). Such woman rushes to defend her man as soon as the first hair falls down from his head despite asking to punish him only a moment before. Highly cultural and especially low-primative woman will not act this way. And actual rank of this man can be quite low. Even his buddies may have no respect for him. However, it is appropriate to mention that the instinct cannot analyze anything it just reacts on some key attributes, in this case – aweless attitude to a woman (if he beats -> he does not appreciate -> he has many women -> alpha has many women).

Anyhow, I was dating around and eventually grew tired of the drama with this girl. She planted herself on my front stoop one evening waiting for me to get home from work, a delirious look in her eyes. That was the deal killer. I allowed our fling to fizzle out. My tolerance for a girl’s annoying behavior drops with each extra pound she carries.

Fast forward a few years. I was at a party and she was there. She had lost some weight and, naturally, looked better. I geared up to apply a heaping dose of my patented devilish charm. We reminisced, kissed, and met for a date a week later. The date went fine as far as reunion dates go, considering our sexual history, but I could sense she was occupied with more than our conversation. I dropped her off and went home. I texted her a few days later and got no reply. I didn’t pay it much heed or bother following up because I was dating two other women at the time.

Recently, a friend of mine bumped into this girl on the Metro. I had first met her through him, so they knew each other. They chatted and the subject of my reunion date with her came up. She told my friend she stopped “dating” me (in a girl’s world, one date is equivalent to “dating”) because “I only liked her now that she was thin”. Presumably, she thought this meant I wasn’t interested in her true self.

She was right. I wanted to reacquaint myself with her and fuck her because she had lost weight and looked better than before.

Necessary but not sufficient. Women have trouble comprehending this phrase, much like they are born with a mental block making them incapable of grasping the concepts of generalizations and exceptions to the rule.

A hot skinny body and pretty face is necessary for a man to find a woman attractive, but it is not a guarantee for creating a deep love that will last. This girl, like most girls, had an insecure ego-based fear that she was being judged by her looks instead of her more nebulous attributes. Former chubbies are often acutely cognizant of this and consequently harbor tremendous resentment against men and a loathing of male desire. Only a few former chubbies have the open heart and love of men for who they are to avoid spiraling into a lovekilling vengeful trap of anti-male sentiment.

Here is the truth ladies: You ARE being judged primarily on your looks by men who want to fuck you. Get used to it. Your personality is only icing on the cake that matters more when the kinetic fucking turns into relationship potential.

I hope for the sake of her love life that this girl doesn’t carry her fat baggage to the next guy she dates. No man wants to be made to feel guilty for his masculine desire.

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A Recession Will Mean Better Sex

The Dow is down 26% year to date. If a protracted and deep recession leads to the average woman cutting costs at the supermarket and steering clear of the high calorie packaged foodstuffs, it could mean more slender women and, consequently, better sex.

Hard times bring “hard” times.

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Supermodels Are Not Hot

At least, not the ones who work as fashion models on the runways of Paris and New York. Check out the weird combination of masculine jawline, flairing nostrils (the better to snort four lines at once), and uberfeminine saucer plate eyes on this chick, model Masha Tyelna.

if she made a baby with billy joel how big would its eyes be?

Clearly, the gay guys who run the fashion world are choosing curveless, geometrically angular androgynoids to model their clothes. So the next time some dude brags that he’s dating a supermodel ask him which industry — Victoria’s Secret? Playboy? SI Swimsuit Issue? He’s banging a winner — those kinds of models are chosen for their direct appeal to men or their ability to model very feminine clothing (i.e., lingerie). Milan runway? He’s banging a prepubescent boy.

I don’t want to mislead the typical woman into thinking that she’s hotter than catwalk models. She is not. The haute couture model, despite her strange appearance, is still hotter than 80% of all women, given that most American women are plain-looking at best and ugly fatties at worst. Quite simply, the obesity epidemic is skewing the 1 – 10 looks scale upwards, so that the 7 in the above photo can afford to get paid like a 10. But compared to the cute hipster chicks and WASPy blonde darlings I see daily, Masha would get lost in the shuffle. I saw at least ten girls hotter than her in one hour this past Saturday night. Of course, I’d never tell them that. Their heads are already big enough.

I once got into an argument with Clio that makeup can, at best, raise a woman’s looks score by one point max, and that a woman’s true score can’t stay hidden from a man for longer than a few dates or one night together. The makeup-less cold hard light of morning after analysis reveals all.

I based my judgment of the value of makeup in boosting a woman’s looks on personal experience. I have rarely been with a woman who gained more than one point by makeup. Part of this reason is that having been with enough women, I can more accurately assess when makeup is hiding something. Another part of the reason is that women consistently overestimate how much makeup can help them. Call it the wishful thinking syndrome.

But after seeing before and after photos of runway models like Masha, I have to make an exception. Makeup goes a long way to feminizing the looks of odd-looking, yet not necessarily unattractive, androgynous girls like her chosen for their peculiarly striking looks. For instance, Gisele Bundchen looks like an 8 without makeup and hits 10 with it.

In the interest of clearing the confusion on the matter of makeup, here is a handy chart I’ve devised (it’s been a while since I’ve done a handy chart):

Looks Rating                Makeup Boost by Points
0                                   0
1                                   0
2                                   0
3                                   0.5
4                                   0.5
5                                   1
6                                   1
7                                   1.5
8                                   1
9                                   0.5
10                                 0

Conclusion: Ugly women have no use for makeup; theirs is a lost cause. If anything, makeup can actually draw more attention to their unfortunate condition. Magnificent ugliness radiates out from the face like blast of cosmic rays, overwhelming even the best makeup applications.

Around 3 and 4, where ugliness shifts into mere unattractiveness, makeup provides a minor improvement. For the girl, it could mean the difference between being ignored and savoring the glorious experience of getting pumped and dumped by a beta.

Makeup really hits on all cylinders for semi-attractive girls who aren’t quite in the running for genuine hotness. The 5s and 6s will see a solid 1 point boost. The biggest effects are on the 7s — those girls who are attractive enough for girlfriend material but have one or two facial flaws that keep them out of the “Props, man, you’re dating a hot chick!” category. Interestingly, when you move up the ladder to 8s and 9s, the trend begins to reverse and you don’t see the same major boost from makeup. By the time you are at a bonafide 10, makeup can add nothing to her already perfect beauty, and oftentimes will detract from it.

The catwalk models are an exception to the above chart. As far as I can tell, they receive a 2 to 3 point boost from makeup. Their angular boyish faces respond well to the softening effects of makeup.

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I’m Moving To Prague

All U.S. adults could be overweight in 40 years.

When the last remaining slender American woman walks the earth, even masterful grade A game won’t help. You’ll be competing with ten million other men for her sex.

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The Easiest Way To Bang A Hot Chick

If you are a beta who lacks the game, attributes, or status to bed 8s and above there is hope for you. By choosing your targets wisely, you can experience the exquisite and unparalleled pleasure of having sex with a hot girl — the kind of girl normally reserved for the apex alphas at the top of the human food chain. The trick is in knowing how to identify the most responsive targets.

I’ve devised a search and seduce target designation system for finding the hottest girls most likely to give it up to a sub-alpha such as yourself. Each of the factors listed below corresponds to better odds that the hot girl who has that problem will date and bang you. As the “negative” traits accumulate, the odds of hot girl sex increase exponentially rather than linearly.

• Over 25
  Odds increase by: 10% for each additional year, -20% age 30, +30% ages 31 and up

Obviously, the window to take advantage of the Age-Leg Opening association is small, perhaps only 5 years, because past a certain age her legs will no longer open to the vagina of an 8, but a 6 or less. And if you’re going to settle for 6 vaginas, you may as well limit your efforts to young 6s. In the rare cases where a woman manages to stay hot into her 30s, expect the Age-Leg Opening association to temporarily reverse around the age of 30. This is because all single women experience a delusional reevaluation of their marketability when they hit the milestone of 30. They play hard to get one last time in hopes they can recapture the glory of their youth. Of course, this phase ends quickly as she rediscovers reality and spinsterhood looms. After this brief but frantic period when she has gone through the five stages of cougar grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance* — she’ll adjust her Leg Opening Quotient incrementally until she stops being invisible to men.

* Future post.

• Single Mom
  Odds increase by: 50% for the first kid (85% if a Downs Syndrome kid), 20% for each additional kid

A hot chick’s kid will give you the second biggest bang for your buck (see below for the biggest hot pussy discount). Since it is ingrained in men to avoid investing their precious resources into the raising of another man’s spawn, especially if that other man was some badboy who stretched out her vagina and left a stargate for you to have frictionless sex, a woman who is raising a kid on her own due to poor judgment, getting dumped, or divorce (75% chance it was initiated by her) will be the most congenial date you will ever experience. There will be zero shit testing and she will have nothing but smiles for you. Her hand will be on your thigh within five minutes of meeting, and she will pay for your drink out of courtesy for the time taken from your busy schedule to meet her. A single mom who has the night free because her kids are at grandma’s is good to go before the first drinks arrive. They often have condoms in their purses, glove compartments, medicine cabinets, nightstands, and in a secret compartment behind that portrait of great-aunt Gertrude. You should definitely wear your own bulletproof condom with a single mom because you know you are dealing with a fertile woman and one who will be tempted to entrap you old school style. Flush the used condom immediately after you are done. They are that desperate.

Note: Avoid tripping over toys and landing on your erection.

• Physical Deformity
  Odds increase by: 20 – 150%, depending on severity of disfigurement

This is by far the most advantageous flaw a hot chick can possess. A perfect 10 with a physical deformity, even something trivial like a missing pinky toe, will devalue her own beauty. The worse the deformity, the lower her self-esteem will drop and the higher her character will rise. A 10 with a missing boob will think and act like a 7. Missing an entire leg? She’ll be a de facto 4. Hermaphrodite? Her secret shame will put her on the level of a morbidly obese smelly hausfrau. Naturally, you’ll want to focus on those disfigured women whose abnormalities don’t detract from their pretty faces or sexy bodies. The girl with the missing arm from this post qualifies. A girl with a moustache or steatopygia would not.

Note: Personality deformities have NO EFFECT on a hot chick’s self-appraisal. In fact, a seriously flawed personality may actually boost her ego, as she will continue to get attention from men no matter how poorly she behaves, and will assume it means, using chick logic, that her shitty attitude is what keeps them coming back for more.

• Former Fatty
  Odds increase by: 10 – 70%, depending on length and heft of fat phase

Yet another goldmine for the beta who wants to taste the forbidden fruit of exceptional pussy. A former fatty, by dint of her painful past dealing with the cold stares of indifference and sneers of cruelty, will be grounded and grateful for male attention. A former fatty’s mindset is still that of the fat girl she left behind – the mind changes slower than the body. The time to strike is when her memories are strong and her reconstructed body is tight. The fatter a former fatty was, the more appreciative she will be of your romantic interest. A 300 pound whale who slims down to a svelte 120 pounds will attack you sexually with the zeal of a released inmate let loose in a brothel after 20 years in the hole.

Caution: The longer a former fatty is skinny, the more her soul will twist into the corrupted spectre of a self-absorbed egomaniac princess. You’ll want to catch her before her horrible memories fade (think “Silence of the Heifers”), she swaps loyal down to earth friends for superficial hottie friends, and hundreds of betas throw themselves at her feet.

• Recent Divorcee
  Odds increase by: 20% if she filed for divorce, 40% if her ex filed for divorce

A recent divorcee wants to feel attractive again. She probably hasn’t had sex with her husband in years and relishes the prospect of intimacy with fresh cock. A divorcee is different than a rebound. Most hot girls on the rebound will keep their standards. A hot divorcee will lower them; she has been insulated and out of the dating scene so long that your fawning beta attention will be attractive to her. Double plus leg-spreading points if her husband left her in the middle of the night for a stripper half her age. She will crave your sexual desire. Expect to feel like the woman on any date with her.

• Foreigner
  Odds increase by: 60% if she is from a patriarchal culture (Russia), 30% if she is from a feminized culture (Sweden), 80% if she is from a dirt poor patriarchal culture and she’s trying to get a green card

The theory of hybrid vigor and the “expert from afar” psychological phenomenon makes hot foreign pussy very attainable for the average American beta male. Even interstate travel can increase the odds of a beta scoring pussy normally out of his reach, thanks to the automatic deference that girls give to strange men from faraway lands. (Hotel bar + traveling salesman = fling.) You will do very well with an East European green card whore who has little sexual experience with foreign men. The fact that East European women are significantly more beautiful than American women is just icing on the cake. With the right motivation and travel itinerary you could conceivably pull your first 10.

Note: Due to the hypergamous trajectory of feminized Western cultures where the hot women are accustomed to sharing the top 20% of men and the leftover betas are sniveling papoose-wearing spineless turds, your exotic foreign aura won’t be as effective at landing that bombshell Swede without supplemental alpha traits.

Conclusion

Beta, desperate, and settling is no way to go through life, son. You don’t need to fantasize what sex with a really hot girl feels like, anymore. By zeroing in on girls with any combination of the above characteristics, you can greatly improve your odds of banging quality pussy.

There aren’t many guarantees in life, but if you find a hot 29 year old, single Russian mom with four Downs Syndrome kids, a superfluous clitoris and a missing engagement ring finger, who used to weight 450 pounds, and whose husband divorced her yesterday before her citizenship was approved, sit back and relax, betaboy. Your job is done.

Happy hunting!

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