Women’s Shifting Perceptions Of Male Looks

A critical sex difference is in how men and women perceive the looks of the opposite sex. A woman’s beauty is a powerfully visceral stimulant of men’s desire, and tends to remain so until their beauty begins the fade in earnest by the early-mid 30s. Men’s looks, in contrast, provide a more muted stimulation of women’s desire — less visceral and more aesthetic compared to the hungering stimulation female beauty causes men to feel — and this stimulation of female desire tends to manifest in two ways.

1. Women can be drawn to men’s looks upon first sight, just as men are by women’s looks, but unlike men, women can (and will) nearly instantly lose the thrall they feel in the presence of a good-looking man should his behavior and conversation come across as unattractively beta. Betaness can kill the advantage of good looks dead.

The same is *not* the case when the sexes are reversed; that is, a beautiful, bitchy women will still make men feel horny, even as the bitchy attitude discourages men from treating such women kindly.

Maxim #67: When women are confronted by a man with low status behavior that is incongruent with his high status looks, they will never resolve the incongruity to the benefit of his status; women will always resolve the incongruity to the detriment of his looks.

2. Women will gradually perceive a man’s looks getting better over time if he possesses other attractiveness traits (e.g., charm, fame, social savvy) or if the woman in question has fallen in love with him. “Time”, in this context, can be as long as years or as short as a few minutes. A man running tight game *will* be perceived as better looking by women. A man in a relationship who is loved by his girlfriend or wife will also enjoy the benefit of positively altered female perception of his looks.

Again, the same phenomenon does not exist when the sexes are reversed; an ugly woman, no matter how charming, wealthy, famous, kind or personable, will *not* be perceived as better looking by men. A similar dynamic operates within relationships; in fact, a woman in a long term relationship can actually become *less* attractive to her lover as his desire for variety begins to outcompete his feelings of love and loyalty.

There is one caveat: early in a relationship, when the feelings of love are strongest (3 months to 2 years, depending on his basal oxytocin levels), a man will be so infused with a dopamine high that his woman will seem more beautiful to him than when they started dating fornicating. Although — and this cannot be stressed enough — NEVER will she seem more beautiful than when he FIRST laid eyes on her. That initial blast of lust is impossible to duplicate.

The above observation of the female inclination to perceive a lover’s looks in more favorable terms explains the time-tested wisdom that a woman in love thinks her man better looking than he is. I believe this change in perception is so powerful that it actually reflects a neural rewiring of a woman’s brain circuitry when gazing upon the visage of a man she loves. Similar radical alterations in female perception happen when a woman is pleasantly surprised by a charismatic man who is successfully seducing her despite his unimpressive looks.

Stingray wrote:

I knew a guy in high school who had severe burn scars covering more than half his face.  Dated one of the most popular girls in school for a long time and was liked by all the other girls as well.  Everyone who knew him said that after knowing him for only a short time, the scars were invisible.  They simply became part of who he was and went completely unnoticed.   Attitude is everything.  Looks may slow down those initial reactions, but if you move beyond that and maintain a confident frame, they will not hinder you much.

Scar game.

A man’s physical flaws are like disappearing ink — exposure to a woman’s love, or even her interest, will cause them to fade away.

And here is some real world experimental evidence that manly confidence influences women’s perceptions.

According to a university study, women can still identify a physically  attractive man just by reading his profile.

It found good-looking men were able  to convey their confidence and attractiveness in their written self-description – and that women volunteers were able to recognise their beauty without being shown the lonely heart’s accompanying photograph. […]

‘Our data suggests that attractive individuals wrote texts (profiles) that  conveyed confidence, and it was perhaps this confidence which primarily  signalled quality to the women.’

The associate professor added that ‘such confidence may arise from attractive  people’s general sense of their high mate-value’.

Take home lesson: If you’re an ugly man, you can influence women to perceive you as more physically attractive than you are by projecting the confident demeanor of an attractive man. A low status man can influence female perception by projecting the attitude and body language of a high status man. This is the crux of game.

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The Hazards Of Long Term Relationships

It’s no hard sell to convince most people of the benefits of long term relationships. The intimacy, the shared experiences, the knowing winks and nods in crowded rooms, the quasi-telepathic unspoken understanding, and the cosmically unfathomable depth of love that seems to stop time — there is no better feeling in the world than sex with a woman you love who loves you back with equal fervor. The moment you slip into your lover and simultaneously lock eyes with her is an unparalleled intensity of pleasure that no one night stand, fling or fuck buddy, however passionate, can match.

But it is not an unalloyed good. With the tremendous good comes the risk of treacherous bad, always conniving and usurping to corrode your love and the presumed impregnable strength of your relationship. You must be on guard against these foul subverters at all times if you want to avoid the saddest fate of avoidable heartbreak.

LTRs will make you and her fat and lazy.

The same feeling of comfort and contentment that long term relationships gives to lovers mischievously robs them of the things that helped bring them together in the first place. Satisfaction quickly morphs into self-satisfaction, and the double-edged sword of comfortable monogamy turns its poison-dipped blade on its wielders. Food becomes central to your shared life, sustenance for the heart as well as the body. The powerfully endorphic love you share blinds both of you to encroaching dilapidation — a few pounds here, an aloof demurral to exercise there, an apathetic dismissal of a suggestion for a night on the town — and pretty soon she’s getting fat and sloppy and you’re getting boring. Your dick shrivels, her pussy desiccates. Soon, even the love follows the same tragic descent.

Prevention is simple, if laborious. Mentally frame any relationship as a continual process of falling in love, and every night together as a first date. This will, of course, be easier to do if you have inspiration. Such inspiration comes primarily in the form of your girl keeping herself as hot as she was when she passively wooed you that night you approached her. A woman, as the sex naturally inclined to embracing the herd mentality, will quickly fall in line with a stringent exercise and eating program if you make yourself an example to her. You do this not only by flaunting your self-discipline and your masculine physique, but by allowing other women to flirt with you and to engage the women around you with a charming effrontery that dances along the line between seductive impudence and naive chatter. Pepper conversations with subtle references to your exercise progress and the high you get from feeling and looking so good. Don’t be afraid to be a little cocky.

As the man, you have to lead in this department. If you let yourself go, physically and mentally, she will either follow suit or she will lap you around the race track, in preparation for the day, coming soon, when she cheats on you or leaves you for the man worthy of her 0.7 waist-hip ratio and 21 BMI. Either result is death for the LTR that means anything. You stop wanting to have sex with her or she stops wanting to have sex with you.

LTRs make Jack and Jill dull lovers.

Creativity is the KY that lubes the limbic system. You remember how clever you sounded when you started dating her, and how much effort she put into dressing sexily and acting womanly? The things in our control that make us sexy are a function of our creativity. Over time, your cleverness atrophies from disuse, and her careful consideration of dress and feminine manners dissipates. You become a machine beeping trivialities and trite observations, and she becomes a billowy sweatshirt-wearing task master. You and her are in love, and love eventually subdues the pressure to impress.

A little bit of pressure keeps a relationship fun and fueled on its own momentum. Stay desirable to women besides your lover, and she will be sure to keep herself maximally attractive to you. Don’t fall into dispiriting patterns like taking vacation in the same locales, eating at the same restaurants, buying the same styles year in and year out, gossiping about the same bullshit that 7 billion other dullards gossip about. Again, as the man, you must lead here. Start with the sex. Instead of the usual routine kiss on the cheek when you come home from work, sidle up behind her when she’s in the kitchen, hike her skirt and fuck her from behind. Fuck her in the park. Fuck her on a boat. Fuck her at the top of a ferris wheel. One night of crazy fucking like this is worth ten years of couples therapy.

LTRs will make you and her codependent.

The lament is universal, a staple of sitcoms. “I don’t see my buddy anymore now that he’s got the ol’ ball and chain.” Love is dangerous in one important respect — it will divert a man from his mission(s) in life. His attention now solely focused on his lover, the hobbies, ambitions, social circle and side projects that made him so attractive to her begin to wither under the onslaught of the time-consuming LTR. Like a centrifuge, his self-made identity spins and jettisons away from him, to be replaced by the newly forged identity within the LTR.

Now you can’t do anything without her, and she you. In the beginning, this is a necessary process to build the level of trust and bonding that distinguishes the LTR from any run of the mill fling. But it morphs into a hermetic pair-bond cocoon, a soft escapable prison that shields from the outside world more than it protects. Increasingly consanguineous, the LTR alienates friends and slackens ambitions.

You will have to learn to make time for friends or hobbies in a way you never did as a single man, when friends just appeared and stuff happened. Try to recapture the spontaneity of the single life, and don’t sweat it when your lover wants to do the same with her own friends. Time apart with separate social groups, doing different things, is a battle cry asserting individuality and independence. A woman as much admires and desires the independent man as she fears and envies him. You will never see a brighter twinkle in a lover’s eyes than when, coming home from a night out with your buddies, you regale her with tales of manly impropriety, but then, just when her heartbeat has reached a fevered cadence, you offhandedly muse that you thought about her during the night.

LTRs are monogamous.

Monogamy. The word rouses yearning and trepidation in the male mind at once. A romantic blessing! Or is it a prison? Back and forth it goes, until the typical man resolves the issue by refusing to choose, allowing the choice to be made for him by dwindling options and headstrong harpies.

There is no doubt that men are programmed down to the cilia in their cells to desire sex with a multiplicity of attractive, fertile women. Variety is the spice of life, spread the seed, hogamus higamus etc. Some men have stronger urges to variety than other men, but in all men it is there in lesser or greater degree. The LTR, filled with the bounty of love, nevertheless thwarts a man’s genetic script to seed the wombs of many seed-able women.

For men with low compunction to promiscuity (provider betas), the monogamous relationship is a sweetheart deal: they give up something they weren’t all that gung-ho to pursue anyhow, for something that brings them much joy. Men with a raging libido and a wandering eye (caddish alphas) more or less suffer indignities under the LTR regime, and their predatory lust must be either squelched or sated, the former apt to inflict psychological and testicular distress while the latter a sure destruction of the intimate love that cannot tolerate infidelity except in the most feral societies.

The problem, all too familiar to readers of this blog, arises from the fact that the LTR-pursuing betas are less likely to tingle the ginas of LTR-loving women than the lustful alphas who must be dragged kicking and screaming into monogamous obligation. What a cruel joke nature has played on us all! To tempt men and women with a prize they both want, but to establish a set of playing rules that subverts the very prize to be won, and handicaps the players most invested in the game.

Many PUAs and gurus claim that this circle can be squared; that is, that the skilled seducer can have his cake and eat it, too. He can enjoy the love expressed in an LTR while getting some action on the side.

I have heard these stories, and even seen it play out in real life. But my opinion remains negative on the enterprise. For the overwhelmingly majority of men, from high to low station, game to gameless, it is an unrealistic and mostly unattainable trick to lock in a lover for the long haul while openly satisfying his sexual need for variety. Sooner or later, it will come to a head; the LTR will evaporate into divorce or loveless airs as the repeated insult of open infidelity scours his lover’s emotional bond, or the mistresses will remain discreet behind a wall of lies and resigned toleration by the put-upon woman, the way the French do it.

Naturally, the more alpha a man is, the greater his chances to pull off this pseudo-polygamous hat trick, owing primarily to the fact that women are quicker to forgive the vices of an alpha lover than a beta lover. But even alpha has its limits, and a woman who was once enthralled by her lover’s sexy but risky enticements will someday age both psychologically and chronologically, lose her estrogenic steam, and collapse under the weight of the betrayals. A man can love more than one woman at once, but a woman cannot love more than one man at once. She, at best, can only sex more than one man concurrently. She, ultimately, finds the fullness of her love manifest in the singular, unshared love of one man to whom she is faithfully devoted.

And so for this last part I have no answer. You, as a man, will have to choose what is more important to you: transcendent, unpolluted love, or visceral sexual pleasure. You may attempt to hide your mistresses, and that may work for a while, but it may also not work, and you will have to live with the little lies of omission for as long as you and your lover are together. Some men, particularly the ones most desired by women, are devoid of the moral sense, or sustain a cartoonish, wilted version of it, and can live side by side with lies and not give it a moment’s doubt or self-reflection.

You can also try your hand at an open relationship, wherein your lover knows you seek novel pussy on the side and you, presumably, allow her to do the same with novel cock. But realistically, most men will not be able to abide a lover’s infidelity, no matter how contractually agreed upon. The thought alone of a girlfriend or wife fucking another man, however many mistresses that man himself may indulge, will drive him to a fever. Men by nature and given a free choice would collect concubines and prefer those lovers guarded by eunuchs, not by virile male competitors.

Finally, there is the long shot of the one-way open relationship, aka the royal harem. She remains sexually and emotionally loyal to you, while you get to screw around whenever the feeling hits you. No lies, no subterfuge; everything is out in the open. In my experience, this can be done if your game is incredibly tight, BUT…

It won’t work forever. It won’t even work for a year. A few months is closer to the reality, and odds are it will end in a huge flame-out rather than a genial handshake. Some top PUAs love to crow about their ability to tie down girls into one-way open LTRs, and I have no reason to speculate about their honesty, but I do doubt many of these master seducers are pulling anything like this for more than a few months at a time. (Exceptions exist, but seriously, how long did Stephane Hemon’s threesome LTR last?) Women are certainly capable of swooning unreasonably for a truly charismatic alpha male, and agreeing to arrangements against their interests which in regards to any lesser man would strike women as laughable propositions, but to play kept woman in a real harem rather than a de facto harem shrouded in the mists of plausible deniability, exciting and drama-fueled as it is, is a contrivance guaranteed to end badly when the intoxication of labial lust wears off.

No matter how hot, young and vivacious your LTR lover is, your eye will someday wander, because it is in your nature as a man to want to fuck every sweet piece of ass who crosses your line of vision. To accommodate this visceral desire, you can abdicate the pursuit of LTRs and stay a single poon hound, you can enjoy an LTR while shooting for strange under cover of night, or you can make peace with your urges and learn to abide them unsatisfied as part of the LTR deal. Many men — most men, in fact — accept the latter, and do so without too much regret. The trade-offs, it seems, are worth it.

The choice is less a moral one than a practical one, inasmuch as animal desires supposedly bequeathed us by god can’t be said to have moral underpinnings. What do you prioritize? What gives you the greatest happiness? There’s your answer.

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The Pedophile Libel

A 51 year old actor married a 16 year old woman and the comments section exploded in accusations of pedophile. Here is a pic of the newlyweds:

His posture is a bit beta, but can you blame the guy? He hit the jackpot. He even got her parents’ approval.

Whenever an older man hooks up with a much younger woman, there is a chorus of haters from almost every demographic smearing the guy with the pedophile label. It’s a malicious slander. These dimwits quick to hurl the pedo insult need to be educated on some basic facts about human biology.

Pedophilia is sexual attraction for biological children. Note I used the qualifier “biological”. Technically, in many jurisdictions, a 17 year old is legally defined as a child, but most 17 year olds have already developed adult bodies. True pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children who have not yet developed secondary sex characteristics. Real pedophiles have a brain malfunction and need to be kept as far away from kids as possible, because their disease is incurable.

To make the point clearer for the idiots, malcontents and misandrists who can’t stand to see an older man dating a younger woman: Sexual attraction for a woman who has gone through puberty and has a sexually developed adult woman’s body is not pedophilia.

It is not pedophilia for an older man to be sexually attracted to a 16 year old girl who has breasts, wide hips, a round and full ass, and a feminine face. Anyone who claims otherwise is either an ignoramus or is engaging in propaganda war, truth be damned. The older women who love to throw around the pedo libel whenever a man their age chooses a younger woman are known as… oh, great Odin’s raven, what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yes… cunts.

C

U

N

T

S.

But hags and spinsters aren’t the only ones who freely fling the pedo accusation. Plenty of white knighters and sour married men do it, too. The reasons why they do it are obvious. Older women dread the younger competition and use shame to influence men’s behavior more to their liking. Men who aren’t dating young, fresh flowers shame those who do out of red-hot envy. Feminists do it because they loathe male desire. And so we have an alliance of nearly every demographic against the minority of men who have the skill to land significantly younger lovers. With such a stacked deck, it’s a small miracle that love is able to overcome a malicious mass lie.

It’s all part and parcel of the last fifty years of feminized Western culture pathologizing normal, natural male sexual desire. A sure sign of cultural decay if ever there was one is the demonization of maleness. Feminists and the whole of the liberal media have done their job codifying the currently reigning zeitgeist that male sexual desire is aberrant and uncivilized while female sexual desire is the very pinnacle of saintliness.

Well, this armed outpost of blogdom is here to set the record straight. To expose the lords of lies for what they are, to grind their shitfuck faces in their falsehoods, and to taste the unfathomable sadness of their bitter tears.

Mmm… tastes so sweet, like illimitable pain.

So to help bring balance to the force, I propose an equivalent lie to demonize natural female sexual desire. We don’t really see enough of this, so let’s start with female hypergamy, the powerful primal force that compels women to date higher status men than themselves, and preferably to date the highest status man possible. Let’s call it by the DSM IV term it deserves:

Strataphilia, -noun, 1. a deviant sexual attraction predicated on the social and economic stratum that a man occupies.

FYI: A true pedophile is not the 51 year old in that photo. Far from it. A true pedophile thinks more like this:

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A Father’s Question

First, thank you for the excellent blog.

The writing, content, and resulting purposeful applications are first rate.  You attract much insightful, interesting, and humorous content, too.  Please keep up the good work.

On to my question:  so, I am a dad and wondering, with Father’s Day 2011 just around the corner, your thoughts on how, when, and at what rate should matters of game be introduced to your male offspring?

I did read this:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/why-game-is-important-for-fathers/

It made my heart ache.

My son and I frequently go about town alone.  Dining together.  Talking to the people around us.  Looking them in the eye at all times.  Assessing strangers at other tables and trying to read them based upon what we observe.  He and I scored girls in the mall a few weeks back.  He is only 10.  I’m not going to rush him into things, but want to give him the tools and tactics to use when he is ready.  I don’t have a great playbook for rearing him, but I do want him to lead his life and not the other way around.  Any feedback and thoughts would be appreciated.

How, when, and at what rate to introduce game to your son? A few classic Chateau thoughts on the matter are here.

To my son:  You will learn how to say Hi to girls before the age of 16 if it kills you.  There will be no Star Trek or Lord of the Rings posters in your room.  You will instead have Helmut Newton photographs hanging on your walls and a copy of Mystery Method.  I will treat the family dog better than you if you major in anything that doesn’t ensure a salary high enough to keep you from grubbing off me.  Learn how to throw a punch.  If you turn out gay, don’t ever bring your “boyfriend” around me.  Certain things are best left in the realm of the abstract.

Finally…

if I find out your mother was a two-timing whore and you are not my kid, you will never hear from me again.  Kindly direct all your rage her way.

I’m glad to see you’re taking your son out and showing him the ropes. As a father, you have no more important duty than guiding your son on the path of alphadom. What greater gift can a father give his son than the knowledge and example he needs to navigate the initially confusing world of women, and to live as a free man in an increasingly corporatized, feminized, Orwellian world?

You want to introduce game concepts to your son now, as he’s hitting his teenage years. Your first forays into this dark knowledge should be couched in terms a kid can relate to, i.e., lay off the sex talk and arid evo psych theories. Tell him that girls are different from boys and that this will matter as he gets older and starts to like them.

In your specific case, it seems as if your son is maturing early, if he’s “scoring” girls at age 10. He probably knows the basics at this point? If that’s so, then you can go to the next stage, where you analyze specific female behaviors and make them relevant to him. For instance, he might complain about a girl who only likes him when he’s mean to her, and he doesn’t understand why. You can then segue into a discussion about why girls like that sort of attitude from boys, and how he can have that attitude but still grow up to be a good man.

Note: Do not ever fall back on the typical beta herb father response of “Well, son, women are a mystery. You’ll find that out soon enough.” That’s the cheap and easy way out, and prepares him for nothing. Patiently explain WHY women are the way they are, that women aren’t really mysterious at all, it just seems that way because they think differently than men. Remind him, too, that men seem mysterious to women, so the confusion goes both ways. The whole “mystery” cop-out is just another form of female pedestalization.

As he’s becoming more aware of true female nature, there is a risk his young mind and heart will slip into cynicism and disgust for girls. Don’t let that happen. Remind him that, though the world works this way, there is no reason to let it get him down. There are some rules to follow, but the game itself is still a lot of fun, and nothing feels better than falling in love with a girl who loves you back. (Abstain from discussions of “love” until he’s well into his teens. A 10 year old is likely to turn up his nose at that.)

As his mind matures (age 16 or so), begin introducing him to the literature and science that scaffolds game concepts. You can start with this blog and these resources. If he’s anything like a normal heterosexual man, his eyes will widen with wonder when he first reads this forbidden knowledge. This is a critical juncture. If you have not laid the groundwork, a sudden infusion of game material can send him careening through a labyrinth of haphazard self-discovery, his journey littered with dangerous risks and broken hearts. You must start his reality education NOW if you want him to put the future knowledge to good use. An unanchored padawan is a light saber duel away from joining the Sith.

The rate he should learn this stuff will largely be up to him. Once the floodgates open, he’ll likely seek out further knowledge on his own, without your guidance. The internet guarantees that the window for active parental guidance is smaller now than it has ever been. That’s why you must begin your teachings before he gets to high school.

As a responsible father the setbacks you most want your son to avoid are:

Oneitis.
LJBF.
Surprise dumpings.
Grinding celibacy.
Divorce.
Marriage to an ugly feminist.

Give him the knowledge and tools to circumvent those unhappy fates and the wisdom of your experience and you will be a hero to him for life.

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The Beauty Of Long Term Relationships

All the benefits of marriage, with none of the costs.

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Science Validates Another Game Concept

A study says that men and women say ‘I love you’ for different reasons.

Women, being from Venus, have a reputation for being the first to spring “I love you” in romantic relationships.

But men actually are more likely to utter those three loaded little words first, and men admit thinking about confessing love six weeks earlier than their female partners, according to an article to be published in the June issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

That doesn’t mean men are bigger saps. Taking an “evolutionary-economics” perspective, the article concludes that gender differences in the timing and function of saying “I love you” are related to whether a couple has had sex.

“Men may be more impulsive in the way they express love, but what love means to men and what love means to women may be very different,” said co-author Josh Ackerman, assistant professor of marketing at MIT Sloan School of Management.

In a series of surveys, researchers found that two-thirds of couples report that the man was first in confessing love. Men also reported being significantly happier than women to hear “I love you” one month into the relationship if they had not yet had sex, while women felt happier than men when they heard “I love you” after the onset of sex in the relationship.

The researchers theorized that a pre-sex love confession may signal interest in advancing the relationship to include sexual activity – which is what men want, evolutionarily speaking, so as not to lose an opportunity to spread their genes. They want to “buy low,” as the article put it. Women, who have more to lose if they get pregnant, prefer a post-sex confession as a signal of long-term commitment. They prefer to “sell high.”

Furthering the point, the men happiest to get a pre-sex love confession were those interested in a short-term fling, while both men and women seeking a long-term relationship were happier hearing “I love you” post-sex.

Despite birth control and egalitarian values in modern society, these primitive patterns persist in the subconscious, Ackerman said.

The researchers hope exposing the biological underpinnings of these behaviors can help people understand the hidden meanings and motivations behind professions of love, which are ripe for misinterpretation.

So what is this study telling us as it relates to game? You have to read between the lines a little, but basically it’s saying that expressions of love are intimately tied up with men’s and women’s sexual market value. Women who wait to say ‘I love you’ until after the man has said it are subcommunicating their higher value. (A high value woman juggles interest from many men, and can make a man wait for sex much longer than he is comfortable until she is satisfied his commitment to her is genuine.) In contrast, men who rush to say ‘I love you’ subcommunicate their urgency to extract sex, and thus their lower value. (A high value man is never urgent for sex because he is getting all the sex he needs from other women in his informal harem.)

This study dovetails with the very first, and probably most important, Poon Commandment:

I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

As a man, the ideal time to say ‘I love you’ (assuming you mean it) is after your lover has confessed it to you, preferably a few weeks to months after her initial confession. Doing so will create the perception in her mind that you are higher value than her, and as anyone who doesn’t live under a rock or reside in the halls of academia knows by now women most desire men who are higher status than themselves.

Chicks dig power, men dig beauty.

One of the fundamental principles upon which many game concepts rest is the ease with which women can be seduced if you flip the script and make a concerted effort to refrain from playing the conventional courtship role of your gender. For men, this means *not* being the sex-hungry, needy beta who blurts out ‘I love you’ after two dates in hopes it will accelerate the progress to sex. By waiting to say ‘I love you’ only until after she has said it, you demonstrate high value. Her hamster registers this dynamic as: “He must have a lot of options with women if he’s taking so long to find out for himself if he loves me. I LOVE men with options!”

This is what her hamster squeaks when the man says he loves her after two weeks: “Aw how sweet… yuck.”

I can tell you from experience that the girls who were most into me — “into me” is measured as a function of the girl’s emotional distress when I waited more than two hours to return her phone call — were the ones who said they loved me first, and who had to wait a few months more before I replied in kind.

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Leave Her Place More Often Than She Leaves Yours

You’ve spent the day with her, come back to her place, had sex, watched a movie and drank some wine. But instead of sleeping over, you decide to go home to chill by yourself for a night. As you head toward her door to leave, she skips over, throws her arms over your shoulders, and kisses you goodbye, whispering ‘i love you’ with the tone of urgent expectation that it would be answered in kind. Her eyes speak with that giveaway limpid twinkle that tells you she was never more enraptured by you than at that very moment, and lurking underneath her joyous exterior is just the tiniest undercurrent of anxiety — sweet sweet anxiety — as she watches you walk away from her.

Yeah, she knows, consciously, that she’ll see you tomorrow, but for know, the act of physically leaving her presence to set off for a homeland 1/4 mile away imbues her subconscious with the same exquisite dread of loss that her distant female ancestors must have felt when their men left in the morning for the hunt on the plains just over the horizon.

Logically, it should make no sense that leaving her place would fill her heart with even stronger longing, and more powerful sexual attraction, when she knows that you live close by and you aren’t going on a dangerous hunt or raiding expedition with your laptop and cellphone. And yet, those ancient feelings bubble to the surface unbidden, caring not for logic or sensibility.

It’s a quite rudimentary act, this leaving your lover’s place so she is standing behind to watch you saunter off; one so devious in its simplicity that most men do it by accident, unaware of the soul-stirring effect it has on women.

When you spend time with a woman at her place, and then leave, you are artificially boosting your status relative to hers. This status boost triggers powerful feelings of lust and love in her. For reasons that harken back to a time shrouded in the mists of our tribal antiquity, a man who parts from his lover rather than waits for his lover to part from him is perceived more attractively to her.

The corollary to this phenomenon is also true, and should give you pause. If she is at your place, and she leaves to go do something by herself, the physical nature of her parting from your abode and you kissing her goodbye reverses the omnipresent status tension that must always exist to foster her desire for you. Do it enough times, and barely comprehended forces emanating from the deepest abyss of her id will push outward, staining her subconscious impression of you as a higher status man, until spite and resentment begin to intrude on once idyllic moments of loving peacefulness.

Therefore, try to make it a habit to part her company more often than she parts yours. A mirror image of Poon Commandment V — follow the golden ratio — applies: for every two times she leaves your place, leave her place three times.

What about those of us who cohabit?, some of you are asking. Well, there are ways to leave a woman without really leaving her, and without leaving for another home. Just imagine you have your own interests, and occasionally adventure calls, and you must heed it, without her. She can’t help but love you when you leave her behind.

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