Appeasement Is No Way To Win Wars Or Women

Maxim #54: A woman’s happiness is inversely proportional to efforts to accommodate her demands.

Corollary to Maxim #54: The more a woman’s demands are catered, the more irrational will her future demands become.

Appeasement is relationship death. Appeasement is the damping oscillation that brings a woman’s tingle to rest. There is hardly a self-defeating behavior a man can exhibit more hazardous to his love life than appeasement of his woman’s fickle and endlessly reconsidered stipulations. Once you go down the road of appeasement, the cliff side is an inevitability.

Given this reality of female nature, the riddle is why so many men resort to appeasement when the heat is on?

Part of the reason for the reflexive beta male embrace of the appeasement strategy is that it does work… occasionally, and only temporarily. Betas are so scared — picture a shivering, frightened little bunny as symbol of their state of minds — to provoke their women’s ire that appeasement becomes not only the emotionally satisfying recourse, but also the logically rationalized one based on retrieved pleasant memories of those few times it worked when nothing else works for them.

Barring competing effective strategies to pacify a pissy wife or girlfriend, an appeasement gambit only has to “work”, say, one out of ten times for it to become the go-to prostration for befuddled beta males. And remember that in the beta male’s worldview, a working romantic strategy is one that doesn’t end with his lover leaving him. The bar for healthy LTR management is set very low in the beta universe.

(For comparison, the typical alpha male standard of satisfying relationship health is the continuance of morning surprise hummers.)

A beta husband may be able to briefly calm his wife down by appeasing her, but the escape he narrowly engineers is just a trap door to a pit of lifelong termagant torment. That’s the poison appeasement pill he swallows: Quick relief, followed by progressive system failure. Tragically (and comically), he knows no other way.

Commenter ‘having a bad day’ serves up his own hard lesson in the futility of appeasing women:

my wife was like that too. pick a fight for no reason, not getting enough attention, blah blah blah…it almost ruined me and my ‘happy home.’

but wife’s behavior was based on the ‘best friend’ model of marriage that was indoctrinated into my impressionable young mind throughout my life…

who knew that women didn’t really know what they really want…? (that’s the real ‘crazy’…)

i had bought into the feminine imperative and was trying to ‘have it all’…best friend, lover, confidant, etc…and she hated it!

she was a follower, because all women are followers if they are happy. (just like the ‘teachings’ around here state.) it really is true…if they are happy, they are following someone they can look up to, admire, respect, feel safe and protected by, blah blah blah…if not, not happy…

the ‘crazy’ comes out when she doesn’t have that in a way that is unmistakable. she’ll put pressure on the relationship (shit test) to check for leaks…no leaks = anything you want…with a big shit eating grin at being able to please her ‘leader’

the ‘big crazy’ comes out the same way you train a guard dog…you push it a little, it ‘fights’, you let it ‘win’…you push a little harder, it reacts, you let it win…soon enough you can break a baseball bat over its head and it’ll still rip your arm off…same with women…and the younger, more fertile (hotter) the woman, the faster the escalation goes…so she can ‘win’ at uncovering the ‘beta’ (so no sex) or ‘alpha’ (so anything you want, just use me and not that other chick over there…)…because her body knows that her time is short, and it wants those better genes…

my marriage was shot because of the ‘friendship model’, but i got some game and turned it around, thanks to this place and the related ‘outposts’ and for that i am truly thankful…

my wife is ecstatically happy, deferent, doesn’t pick fights, apologizes for being crabby or in a bad mood, goes out of her way to offer support, etc. in other words, she has become much more feminine…

she does NOT want to go back to the ‘best friends’ model of marriage. Just today, i was doing something and happened to slip back into a beta response to something, and she got kind of panicky, and told me ‘you know, i don’t want you to beat me, but you need to sack up, and make a decision.’ (direct quote…) she did not want me to be her ‘oh, i don’t know, what do you think?…’ ‘best friend’…and yes, there was a little bit of panic in her eyes…but only a little, and then it went away when i told her what i wanted…so she could work on being a good follower…

better follower = happier woman…

Why do women come to resent their appeasement in time? The male mind formulates, “She’s getting what she wants, why isn’t she happy?” The problem is projection: The male mind draws a direct connection between wants and demands. Accounting for a few Machiavellian exceptions, when a man makes a (rare) relationship demand, you know that’s what he wants. And so men project their mental experience onto women. But what most men (and most men are betas by definition who lack a sufficient learning curve in the hearts and beds of women) don’t comprehend is that women have a disconnect between their demands and their wants. When a woman makes a demand within the context of a relationship, it’s a reflection of her want, not the want itself. Her demands are better understood as either child-like gropings toward self-expression of confusing and troubling emotions, or subconscious gom jabbars (tests of mind) that aid her in her hypergamous (yes) quest to obtain the best man her looks and femininity can afford her.

Seen in this way, appeasement is a strategy that misses the mark entirely or, worse, fuels resentment because it is evidence of failure to live up to a woman’s ideal lover and protector. And it makes sense if you put yourself in women’s stilettos; appeasement is the biopolitical strategy of the weak, and what woman wants to be with a weak man? Weak men are inherently untrustworthy. You can’t know with the requisite certainty that a weak man will have your back when threats emerge. Grrlpower glorification notwithstanding to the contrary, women are slaves to their hatred for weak men, and a manjaw or six figure salary won’t change that innate female revulsion for pliant men. This visceral revulsion is so strong that even the obvious benefits of a reliable and generous provider can’t fully extinguish a woman’s bodily disgust at the thought of receiving his seed.

“Women with the really good, stable guy felt more distant at high-fertility periods than low-fertility periods,” Haselton said. “That isn’t the case with women who were mated to particularly sexually attractive men. The closeness of their relationships got a boost just prior to ovulation.”

To ensure that the findings were not an anomaly, Haselton and Larson repeated the experiment with 67 other co-eds in long-term relationships. This time, however, the researchers administered a better-recognized measure for relationship satisfaction than the one they originally used. They also administered a questionnaire aimed at illuminating a dimension not studied in the first round: pickiness. The questionnaire asked the women to rate how characteristic such faults as being moody, childish, emotional, thoughtless and critical were of their mate.

The researchers found that women mated to the less sexually attractive men were significantly more likely to find fault with their partners and, again, feel less close to their partners during the high-fertility period than the low-fertility period. Women who rated their mates as more sexually attractive, meanwhile, did not exhibit these changes and instead reported being more satisfied with their relationship at high fertility than at low fertility.

The researchers believe the findings shed light on a suite of conflicting behaviors that stem from mating strategies that might have provided an evolutionary benefit to women’s female ancestors of long ago but today probably serve no other purpose than to stir the domestic pot.

“Since our female ancestors couldn’t directly examine a potential partner’s genetic makeup, they had to base their decisions on physical manifestations of the presence of good genes and the absence of genetic mutations, which might include masculine features such as a deep voice, masculine face, dominant behavior and sexy looks,” said Haselton, who is affiliated with UCLA’s Center for Behavior, Evolution, and Culture.

Men can’t (pragmatically) change their Hollywood looks, but they can change their behavior to conform more with dominant behavior that is typically associated with irresistible alpha males. A big first step that doesn’t require huge amounts of willpower is simply avoiding the temptation to appease women.

They also plan to look into how, if at all, the [aggrieved female] behavior is perceived by the male partners of these women.

“We don’t know if men are picking up on this behavior, but if they are, it must be confusing for them,” Larson said.

You bet it’s confusing for them, if by “them” you mean beta and omega males with limited experience navigating the shoals of women’s ids. Men who have bedded more than two or three women know the score, and the female behavior that’s confusing for most is for them an opportunity to play and enlarge the scope of their authority. The plain fact of this highlights the trade-off inherent in the womanizing lifestyle: The sexual experience that permits exploitation of women’s mate choice ploys to one’s personal benefit will also degrade a man’s ability to feel transcendent emotional attachment. Knowledge inevitably leads to cynicism, which is corrosive to romanticism and relationship stability unless one has the unearthly capacity to resolve the tension between self-interest and self-transcendence.

Relationship appeasement, then, is a Pyrrhic victory, buying time at best. When you stand accused by your woman, don’t act like a guilty party. Instead, act like a powerful authority figure suffering a self-incriminating tantrum from one of his acolytes, no matter who is technically at fault. I’ll give you an example from CH’s own repository of rendezvous.

GIRL: You’re really being an asshole. Why am I with you?
HADES’ GARDEN HOSE: Sorry. I’ll stop.

hahaahha. Bizarro world CH. No, that’s not how it went.

GIRL: You’re really being an asshole. Why am I with you?
HADES’ HOWITZER: [silently waits a beat, then stealthily moves in to perform the same asshole move at half intensity and half speed.]
GIRL: Cut it out! What’s the matter with you?
HADES’ HOWITZER: Would you say I’m being the biggest asshole you’ve ever known, or just a run of the mill asshole?
GIRL: Enough of an asshole.
HADES’ HOWITZER: Cause you know, I can turn it up so I’m number one asshole in your heart again.
GIRL: [starts to smile] Seriously, you have problems. No don’t turn it up.
HADES’ HOWITZER: [pulls same asshole move]
GIRL: Fuck!
HADES’ HOWITZER: Oh yeah, that hit the sweet spot.
GIRL: Grow up.
HADES’ HOWITZER: You know what I’m hearing? “Please pee on me in the shower tomorrow morning.”

To all the beta male readers: Next time you feel the need to appease, stop, and do the opposite. Pacification is the province of pussboys. You will take the road less traveled. The road to goad. Expect push-back. That’s a good thing. If you can stand strong against the immediate headwinds, you’ll find a tranquil, and deliriously scenic, vista open before your eyes.

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It’s Lonely Out In Space

If your girlfriend tells you she needs “space”, your relationship was over months earlier. You just got the memo late. “Space” is girlcode for “making space in my vagina for other cockas”. If you hear those words, leave, and don’t bother her for clarification. The only dignity you’ll have left to spare is what you don’t give away trying to salvage a stone dead relationship. If you want to exit stage right with Heartistian flair, you can relievedly exclaim with acting class sincerity, “Phew! I’m glad you brought this up. You were reading my mind. Really takes the pressure off”, or maybe even a simple “Yeah, I hear ya”.

Maxim #44: There is a three month lag time between a woman’s vaginal prerogative and her words. Her heart gets the message long before you do.

This womanly lag time between her true feelings for you and her verbal confirmation is the reason why you have to learn to rapidly identify the subtle signs of a woman’s emotional detachment, and make a course correction before her vagina has petrified to an impenetrable thicket at the thought of your approaching dick.

A perfect example of this comes from that reject repository, Reddit:

My girlfriend of 11 years broke up with me saying “She just needs some space now, and we may get back together.” I am wondering what the chances are that she actually intends on giving a relationship another shot, or if it was just said to get me to easily sign over the house and let her keep everything.

About four weeks ago she dropped this on me. As far as I knew everything was going great – we had just gone on a nice vacation together, night before had a bunch of friends over for a little get together, and were planning out future together. She said it was because we fight all the time, we honestly haven’t had a single fight in 2+ years.

That’s not a positive development. A chronically peaceable woman is a romantically withdrawn woman.

We owned a house together. We bought it about seven years ago, renovated it all, and made it into something we both liked. Wasn’t a particularly fancy house, but it was our house. We also had two dogs we got shortly after moving into the house. She now has the house and everything that was in it, I didn’t put up a fight for any of it.

Hope is often a prerequisite to failure.

She kept saying things like “I’d like to try a relationship again, but I know if you piss me off I’ll probably never even talk to you again.” Me being the broken hearted sap I was tried my damnedest to not upset her.

Classic niceguy mistake. Your appeasement made things worse. When a woman threatens to leave if you piss her off, what she’s really saying is that she’s pissed off with herself for her incapacity to tolerate your predictable amiability.

Signed the house over to her (her mother paid off the mortgage for her, I got nothing) and let her keep the dogs and everything we had gotten over the past 11 years.

except imagine the matador walked backward onto the horn.

I packed up my clothes, and found an apartment to move into.

So I officially moved out over the weekend, and sitting in my shitty little apartment my mind can’t help but keep racing to the idea that I just got manipulated out of everything I had. It just seems that if she really had any intentions on ever making things work there would have been much better options than this.

tl;dr: GF wanted a break, I gave her everything on the chance of another shot. Did I just get swindled?

A man can’t get swindled unless he swindles himself first, and the one thing idealistic beta males excel at is swindling themselves about the nature of women and the vagaries of love.

But there is a solution. You can read Chateau Heartiste and learn the ways of the ruthless sex, or you can continue to self-immolate in a one-window masturbatorium while your ex straddles a new man to orgasmic escape velocity on the bed you paid for and from where you cooed eleven years of your devotion into her pillow-framed ear.

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The Imagination Test: A Game Routine

Women of all (pre-menopausal) ages and all social strata are fascinated by mental parlor tricks. They enjoy the self-revelatory aspect of psychological quizzes, and especially those versions which summon the senses and amplify the feels. Once a girl is emotionally charged, it’s a simple matter to anchor her good feelings to your company.

Today, I will reveal a very special game routine that as far as I am aware exists nowhere else in the game literature. It is a proprietary and leather patented CH blend of neural witch-craftery that engages girls so powerfully they won’t want you to stop. This routine — what I call the Imagination Test — is ideal during that getting-to-know-each-other phase of the pickup, (or what PUAs call the comfort stage). You could try to use it at any time during a pickup, though; the routine is designed to work within a broad array of contexts.

The premise is uncomplicated. Like an acting class instructor, you guide the girl through various sensual exercises simulating brief scenarios or actions that you choose at your discretion. For example,

“Imagine you’re holding an ice cream cone and the scoop falls out to the ground. Feel your face change as your disappointment rises.”

Or,

“Imagine it’s midnight and you hear a loud knock at the door. All the lights are out and you have no idea who it could be.”

The gist of this routine is to heighten the emotions that a girl feels in your presence. The mere evocation of sensual stimuli will produce authentic elevations in her emotional calibration, much the same way that adopting power poses will produce real elevations in a man’s testosterone level and feeling of confidence. Couple the mimetic onslaught with a shrewdly anchored hand to thigh or forearm and when she recollects her dreamy night feeling the fuzz of an imaginary peach you concocted from thin air, her mind will travel a short hop from fruit to you, farmer of emotions.

By getting a girl to essentially play-act imaginary stimuli recruiting one or all the senses, her mind opens to further exploration with you and she becomes quite a bit more pliable to your commands, (a pliability to which she secretly yearns to release herself). The Imagination Test is, besides a stimulant for bored girls’ wary ennui, a demonstration of your creativity and originality. Rest assured, there are few men riding these kinds of thought trains through the stony skulltunnels of girls just met. Women are always looking for men set apart; this routine is one way to accomplish that.

The hard part is not the routine itself, but the sophisticated segue you must have to open an unweird social space for the routine. A couple of springboards I use that work well:

“Are you interested in learning a little bit about yourself?”

Or

“Many girls can get by on their looks, but not many can get by on their imaginations. How good is your imagination?”

Neither segue is failsafe verbillade, but they’ll get the job done often enough.

Further examples of the Imagination Test:

Imagine yourself…

stroking a puppy’s belly.
searching through a dark attic with a flickering flashlight.
holding a pigeon to your chest.
seeing a loved one for the first time in a long time.
overhearing your parents having sex.
catching a whiff of a man’s cologne.
smelling freshly mown grass.
tasting something you hate.
feeling an ice cube on your neck (or breast, if mood permits).
massaging a lover’s face.
letting rose petals slip through your fingers.
wrapped in a sheer satin curtain.
breaking warm bread fresh out of the oven.
gently tracing the face of your grandmother.
rolling your fingertips over a strong back (substitute female body part if you think she’d be down for the FFM).
biting into a juicy sweet melon.
revealing yourself naked for the first time to someone you love.

After your hypnotized hussy has gamely visualized and phantom experienced your sensate novellas, the opportunity is rich for a well-placed neg or a grudging acceptance of her imaginative, if unexpected, spark. Too, there is the chance to reveal to her (fib, really) what her mien during the exercises says about her personality (feel free to wing it here). As long as it’s about her and her centrality to the cosmos, she’ll feel that ever-present but slyly nebulous “connection” that women so love and that men strive to fabricate for slits and tingles.

Your post-thespian responses can run the gamut:

“When you tasted the food you hated, your mouth made this funny snarl, like a dog trying to lick away peanut butter.”

“When you smelled the grass, you had this incredibly serene look. What was it that made you so contented?”

“You put your hands behind your back when you imagined being naked. This small movement tells me you want no obstacles between yourself and a lover.”

***

Seduction comes in three stages for a reason: it’s the rediscovery of a natural mating rhythm that has likely remained unchanged for eons beyond memory. Now you, reader, imagine a woman’s heart as a pot of water on the stove. You tease her and challenge her to turn on her burner. You draw her in with words festooned in emotional garland to warm her lifeblood. You raise her temperature with feints toward the gas jet until she is boiling over. Tease, engage, escalate.

TEASE. ENGAGE. ESCALATE.

Maxim #20: First, lead by defying. Then, lead by inspiring. Finally, lead by desiring.

All steps, however abbreviated, must come in their order to inflame her curiosity, just as your eyes must travel the expanse of her body and the inflection points of her face, and your ears receive the chirp of her voice, to form the full measure of your lust.

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A Crib Sheet Of Game

Normally, CH is averse to feeding the conventional misinterpretation of game as robotically intoned one-liners, but short and sweet one-liners do serve a purpose beyond their use as saving throws in high pressure situations. Keeping at one’s mental disposal a crib sheet of snappy lines for retrieval during the typical scenarios one would meet and seduce girls benefits in two ways:

1. Test-driven lines really can get you out of a jam or closer to victory.

2. More importantly, mentally rehearsed and memorized “charisma cues” are conditioning stimuli that habituate one to think and feel more like a natural who is at ease in the company of beautiful women.

Number 2 is crucial. A repository of game-approved lines, called upon at will, grooms your attitude to align more closely with that of successful womanizers. As you say these lines to yourself, and as you deploy them in a growing number of social situations, your overall attitude — your “inner game” — begins to take on the characteristics of a man who is naturally good with women. You begin to visualize yourself as an alluringly savvy man self-assuredly parrying the clit-hardened jousts of intrigued women. You are recreating it till you make it, and recreation is greatly aided by having knowledge of the sorts of things that naturals often say to women when they’re just winging it.

Maxim #43: You rely on “pickup” lines to eventually discard reliance on pickup lines.

So the pickup aka courtship line is less about the particular arrangement of its individual words to influence female receptiveness than it is about how, over time, it rearranges your mental self-conception.

Related, a reader writes,

This is a question I’m sure many readers would like to know. I find myself having beta tendencies. I sometimes find myself in shit tests and girls testing my alphaness in person and via text. To keep my attitude and mind right I continue to refer to the 16 Commandments and the Maxims, which I’ve found a portion compiled online. Obviously for shit tests I agree and amplify, act aloof etc.  But is there something like a complete list to reference? Something like the commandments plus the maxims, plus any other info in a list form? For quick reference?

Any suggestions on how to kick your mind back out of beta trap? Love the site and will donate £50 if this list is compliled.

What do you do to keep on track? How do you consistently keep the right mindset? Without slipping.

I work between London and Milan, so that’s why I’ll donate in GBP. It’s roughly $84.

I’m not entirely sure what this reader is getting at, but his letter does provide inspiration for a “crib sheet” of game. This post started with a lesson in one-liners, and for good reason. Kicking your mind out of “beta traps” is easier when you know how alphas actually talk to women. The first step to trying something new and unaccustomed in real life is to try it out in your head. Ask any man of high achievement his program for success and he’ll tell you he imagined where he would be long before he got there. Little boys don’t wait till forty to dream of being astronauts.

So, in the spirit of the reader’s request, what follows is the CH Crib Sheet of Game you can either write on a notecard and keep in your wallet, or just store in your head for instant access. The Commandments and Maxims are great, but a bit lengthy for practical retrieval, so the crib sheet will mostly focus on digestible concepts and one-liners.

The one-liners obviously apply to different situations, but the goal here isn’t to identify an exact match between line and application. Rather, the goal of the lines is to change your state of mind. The simple act of repeating them to yourself, and having them available should you need them, will imbue you with a sense of what it feels like to be a seductive man. This sense will carry over into real improvements in your masculine attractiveness.

This is by no means a complete list. The CH archives are now so huge and unwieldy that trawling it all for every gem is a time-suck too great for even a team of expert data miners. Therefore, as a general aid to the CH audience and as a specific answer to the reader above, all commenters are welcome to add entries to the Crib Sheet of Game, which will be updated on a regular basis and reposted from time to time, perhaps with its own reference page.

***

CRIB SHEET OF GAME

CONCEPTS

Agree & amplify
Disqualification, yours and hers
Social proof/preselection
Push/pull
Hot/cold
Teasing
Play practical jokes
Amused mastery
Sexual Intent
Kino/Physical escalation (ABE: Always Be Escalating)
State control (composure)
Storytelling
Future pacing (sarcastic or sincere)
Assume the sale
Plausibly inadvertent self-promotion
Listening
Calculated vulnerability (faux beta game)
Be chased, don’t chase
Descriptive, emotive language
Reframing
Backhanded compliments (negs)
Don’t seek approval
Three second rule
Master the art of curious absences
Never apologize to yourself or anyone for your desires as a man
Own your bone
Be critical
Flip the script
Better an asshole than a beta

BODY LANGUAGE

Power poses
Slow movements
Eye contact
Minimal smiling
Contrapposto
Impatient outward glances
No hands in pockets
Open legs
Straight back
Hold your drink low
No fidgeting
Low vocal tone
Slow speech/accentuate every word
Don’t laugh at own jokes
Take up space
Approach after first mutual look
Avoid nervous tics/self-grooming
Pregnant pauses
Look straight or up, never down
Center yourself around your crotch
A little bit of swagger never hurts

LINES

gay
…
lol
k
8===D
wut
right
good job!
bring da movies

it’s complicated
thanks for the medical report
who brought their little sister?
nice shoes. those are really popular now
it’s a good thing we’re friends
is she always like this?
i don’t buy girls drinks but you can buy me one
your flirting needs work
don’t get the wrong idea
slow down, i need to be wined and dined first
you and i would never work out
what else do you have going for you besides your looks?
i’m just looking for that one woman i click with
your parents must be proud
wait… you’re not a lesbian?
are you allowed to talk to other men without his permission?
speaking from experience?
i didn’t know this was a job interview
where’s the fun in that?
you’re not a dull person, are you? good, let’s go!
weirdo
don’t get used to it
don’t get clingy
miss me already?
that’s mr. asshole to you
my heart will go on
someone’s in love
hey, hands off the merchandise
this whole thing?… it’s not working
i bet you wrote the book on it
i bet you say that to all the guys
you’re special
let’s stop by my place real quick. but don’t sit down, we’re not staying
if i didn’t know any better i’d say you were trying to pick me up

MISC

Progressive resistance weight training
Fitted clothes
Get out in the sun
Curb your porn habit
Find the fashion sweet spot between trendy and splashy
Don’t eat agribusiness crap
Be irreverent
Minimize your online presence beside that needed to pick up American attention whores
Think like a free man
Strive to do what is personally advantageous
Never forget Father Time is breathing down your neck.

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Reader Mailbag: Valentino’s Day

Email #1

A reader of the estrogenic persuasion writes,

I am a new mother of a two month old infant boy.

Generally it’s ill advised to seek parenting advise from a non-parent, but you have convinced me of so many truths that I am asking.  I am asking you for parenting advise.  Not of the “how to get baby to sleep thru the night” kind or “how to accomplish potty training,” but rather, what do I do with this child?  Do I hand him a skateboard and tell him to enjoy the decline?  Do I start an educational savings plan and hope that the 1950’s comes back?  How and when do I begin his “game” education?  Is it a mistake to bring children into this world?  I figure people had children during declines before, and ultimately the world will abide.

My husband and I are both white.  We are not religious.  He is an engineer and we met at university.  I would describe him as a classic beta provider.  I stumbled on your website several years ago before we were engaged, and I subtly gave my husband a “red-pill” education, to the point where his “game” is at a point where he is reasonably attractive.  I have also upped my “game” so to speak, and I’m no 10 but I’m enough for this guy and he gets all his lunches packed for him and never has to do laundry or sweep the floor.  I also felt like if something happened to me, my husband would never be able to meet another woman, but now I feel confident that he has enough game that he wouldn’t be eternally celibate if I died and I am comforted by this.  I also feel that the game I taught him will help him in his professional life.

Discovering your website turned my world upside-down.  In addition, my son’s formerly conservative, suburbanite, rather dull grandparents are now radical anarchist activists.  Needless to say, within the past 5 years or so, I have questioned everything I thought I knew.  Your last DIVCON post prompted me to write you.

Considering my situation, do you have any parenting advise for me?

Re-read that CH-bolded part. Doesn’t that confessional blip get right to the heart of marriage and its lurking discontents? If a woman knows you can get other women (should the need arise), she is happier. Game can strengthen marriages.

If field experience in the dating trenches and genetic analyses are any indication, the world is changing faster now than it ever has before. The human landscape is shifting under our feet. New parents are right to be concerned how to raise their children, especially their little boys for whom the armaments of the leftoid cultural propaganda and policy machines have taken aim.

My advice will be long and bitter.

1. Boys don’t need to hear about decline. What they need to hear about are enemies to fight.
2. You must raise your boy with an eye on his future prize: love and loyalty from beautiful women. This means cultivating in him an appreciation of sex differences and a focus on exploiting his native talents. Admiration from men will follow.
3. His father will be tempted to correct his weaknesses. This is misplaced help. Dad should direct his energy to maximizing his son’s strengths.
4. Give your son room to grow into a man. Let him take risks and flirt with danger.
5. Your son will learn how to successfully deal with women by observing his father deal with his mother. The best thing Dad can do for his son is game his Mom.
6. When your son is a teenager, introduce him to weightlifting and men’s fashion.
7. Your son will not want to “share his feelings” with you or Dad. If you want to know what’s on his mind, tell a story lesson from your life. He will subconsciously ingest your story and relate it to his own problems.
8. Do whatever you can to assure your son attends majority (80%+) white schools. Your son’s life of learning is not a safari.
9. Mock feminism and equalism at the dinner table. By age 8, your son should be ready for irritating truths. By age 15, for the ugliest truths.
10. Your son isn’t a programmable entity or a projection of your need for usefulness. Don’t schedule his life by Google calendar. If you’re shuttling him to events or clubs more than twice a week, cut back. He needs those days where he explores on his own and returns home caked in dirt.
11. Encourage his boyness. Buy him construction sets, toy guns, model planes, sports equipment, natural science books, and, when he’s older, the CH bestseller.
12. Never humiliate his father in front of him. You may find it satisfying, but you’re doing your boy a disservice.
13. Teach him to throw a punch, and take a punch. If Dad can’t do it, find a male relative who can.
14. Buy him an electric guitar for his eighth birthday. He may not have musical ability, but it’s worth finding out.
15. Teach him to hunt, not just animals, but also humans. This is the darkest of my advice, but it’s invaluable. He should know what it feels like to be aggressive, to initiate conflict. Not necessarily physical conflict; verbal conflict mastery is more useful. His confidence as a man-to-be will grow along with his facility at managing social interactions, joshing with other boys, and teasing rivals.
16. Avoid criticism in favor of demonstration. When he makes a mistake, the urge to criticize will be strong. Better to channel that emotion into helpful suggestions. Preserve your boy’s honor and he’ll reward you with redoubled efforts to please you.
17. Keep a close eye on your son’s school curriculum. Don’t be afraid to confront school administrators and teachers if they start stuffing absurd shitlibbery into his impressionable mind.
18. If you are atheist or agnostic, swallow your pride and ensconce him in a religious tradition. The presence of a powerful overseer, true or not, will help ground him and gird his will. This is a tough call, though, because most Western religions have become utterly corrupted by malign anti-white influences. Nevertheless, if there’s one pretty lie that you should abide for a short while to facilitate his healthy emotional development and a sense of protective community, this is it.
19. If you have the means, travel with him to Europe to experience the great traditions and accomplishments of his ancestors. Cheaper version: the public library.
20. No social media. No iPads. No iPhones. Boys don’t become great men with their eyes glued to a screen like a plugged in Matrix pod. They become great men with their eyes up and searching the horizon.

***

Email #2

A reader wants to know how his text game ranks,

Hey, I just wanted to see if you had time to critique my text game with this girl I’ve known for 6 years. She likes me but I don’t pursue friends. I talk to her all the time and use her to test out some theories that I read up on here and elsewhere.

Up until recently I didn’t even know text game was a thing. I didn’t use the 1/3 rule, there were times where I replied instantly after it took her a few minutes to respond, and I also replied with more words than she did but I think it turned out well.

The reader is blue, the girl white.

The reader broke a couple of texting rules, but it didn’t hurt him because he has the right attitude (cocky teasing) and he initiated the conversation. If you initiate with a girl, you will, by the nature of the tacit disequilibrium in relative value, have to expend more effort in moving the girl toward a flirty rapport.

This girl is sassy, so the risk here is that this type of edgy parrying isn’t going to move her closer to sexual interest. She likes it, but there has to be a push so she feels like the drug is being taken away from her. The reader might try texting back that he’ll catch up with her tomorrow “with juicy details if things go right tonight”. When she inquires, don’t respond. The exquisite pang of incipient jealousy must be allowed to slow boil her hamster through the night.

***

Email #3

A pressing matter,

Hey, Heartiste, why do chicks “lol” so much in txt convos? It’s almost perfunctory with them; they can’t possibly laugh that much. What are they trying to say? Do they even know?

It’s social lubrication. Girls use nonverbal and verbal tics like “lol” to create and amplify bonding. It’s like how you might laugh a little extra hard at your boss’s jokes. When a girl does this excessively, a good neg you can use is “hey you laugh a lot”, as if you’re making some sort of astounding, but value-neutral, discovery. Simple, but oh so effective.

***

Email #4

A reader speaks for millions,

I write to the great Chateau with a burning question that has plagued me for months.

When are you going to compile the best writings of CH into a game bible? If you published a book it would easily be the greatest thing to come out of the manosphere. It would rival Rollo’s book (see that tight neg, you’ve taught me well).

Even if you don’t have the time make a book could you at least compile a best of? This is easily my favorite blog. Quality writing and raw, biting truths. Anyway, enough dickriding. I eagerly await your response.

Sincerely
A young reader.

Your flattery game is tight, young padawan. But the Chateau staff of life is vainglorious, and can accommodate that mistress factory known colloquially as Russia riding it to completion.

***

Email #5

Wherefore amused mastery?

Long Story Short (hopefully)!

Dating 8 yrs. Own a condo together for 1.5 years.

Just read your “I Love You Too” article. The beta schmuck comment at the end about saying “luvya” at the end of each call really resonated with me. I knew I was beta with my girl but this really sunk to how bad it really is. I’ve been doing some reading cause I feel like she just isn’t in to me like before, and I’d love that to change.

I have zero game, if I like a girl: beta mode! at least that’s all I knew when I was single. Although luckily enough for me due to the fact (when we met at 16) she was one year older and I assumed out of my league. I thought I didn’t have a chance. So no loser beta attempts at getting her (wish I knew this before lol). Apparently I’m cocky funny as a normal human, she always recounts when we first met how much of a dick I was, I used to give her the hardest time, cause it was fun. Then I asked her out and beta schmuckery ensued for the last 8 years. Although a couple of questionable acts on my part have basically made me more beta to try and make up for hurting her and calming her jealousy down. So I find it quite hard to be funny or whatever when she get’s in a jealous spell, I’m usually apologetic etc. In general though how can this be pulled back around.

I think also a good thing to cover is guys in LTR for a LOOONG time, like me 8 years, that discover proper game etc, how can we change the dynamic, it’s not an easy thing to mentally get around. Changing how we act etc.

Thanks for all the great articles it’s really interesting reads and helpful.

How many times have we the assembled heard this sap story before? The congenital beta who’s as cool as a cucumber with girls when the pressure’s off, but becomes a try-hard troubadour as soon as the prospect of s-s-s-sexual intimacy or, worse, relationship finality, looms. It’s a script that men appear bedeviled to play until someone smacks them straight.

Just keep this handy maxim in mind:

CH Maxim #57: Beta males mate guard, alpha males disregard.

There will be exceptions to this, but as a guiding life principle, you’ll go more right than wrong following it. When your girlfriend gets jealous, don’t appease. Do that and you may as well count the days till she blitzkriegs your balls. Instead, playfully acknowledge her jealousy in a way that implicitly alleviates her worst fears. For instance, “Keep it coming, Your jealousy is giving me a chub. *make stupid exaggerated expression of joy so she knows you’re mocking her* You like me! I’m fuckin tickled pink.”

The thing to understand about very long-term relationship game is that your worst enemy is familiarity fatigue. The both of you will fall into predictable routines, because humans are path of least resistance maximizers. If you want the LTR bad enough, you’ll have to do things that shake up the ordinary that she’s become accustomed to. That could mean a lot of things (CH favors fast getaways), or it could mean having children (CH again favors fast getaways), as long as whatever you do isn’t something she could see coming. Also, peer into the CH archives for “relationship game”. Lots of pertinent stuff by men who have been down the road you’re on.

***

Email #6

Just how universal is game?, asks a reader.

Hi Heartiste,

do you think game is completely universal, or is it somewhat race-dependent? Is the optimal alphaness different if you want to maximise your chances to bang a white/black/asian girl?

Personally I guess it is race dependent, and is nicely symmetrical to the r-K human spectrum:
black->max alpha asshole game
white->more subtle alpha, intermediate
asian->beta may do it, it’s more important to play your provider card…

It’s a false dichotomy to presume game must be either universalist or particularist. There are general game principles that are universal (e.g., confidence, teasing, charm, and power are attractive to all women) and there are game tactics that will differ depending on the race of the woman, the race of the man, or the cultural context within which each resides (e.g., the effective ratio of beta provider game to alpha ambivalence game).

No doubt the races of women differ in some respects regarding their receptivity to American style game, but these differences can be accommodated without chucking the entire game framework. Your spectrum is a good start, but I’d warn against overplaying the amount of stone cold alpha that black women love or the amount of courtly beta provider game that asian women love. I’ll give you two quick stories from my life to illustrate what I mean.

One black girl I dated certainly loved my disappearing act and my cocksureness. But when she saw me out once with a blonde on a lunch date, her crestfallen face told me everything I needed to know about her feelings. The ultimate “aloof alpha” card had been played, and it drove her into a depressed tailspin, where some simple gestures of beta commitment on my part would have brought her back into my arms, if I had desired that.

One other time I was set up on a date with a tall, elegant asian woman by a friend. We went carousing downtown together, but the sexual energy never seemed to spark. A few days later, my friend accosted me and asked me what happened. I said that I tried, but she just wasn’t giving any signals that she wanted more. I chalked it up to her asianness and her need to take it especially slow. He replied, “She wanted it, but you weren’t pushing for it. She said you never made a move.” I considered that, and realized I may have poisoned my own game by making assumptions based on her race about the level of alphatude she would welcome.

The lesson should be clear, but this isn’t meant as a contradiction of the existence of racial differences in female attraction triggers. Yes, if you date black (more precisely, *culturally* American black) women, you’ll need more up-front, loud, borderline obnoxious, socially dominating game. If you date asian women, you’ll want a lower intensity game, one which requires perhaps a few more intimations of your relationship-mindedness and romanticism.

Then there are the complications that arise from unspoken friction created by interracial game. An asian man will have to compensate for his assumed betatude by being more alpha with white and black women than would white or black men with those women. A black man will have to tone it down with white and asian women, and “act white” to allay (mostly justifiable) fears that he’s too aggressive or socially low value.

You might say the sweet spot is to be a white man, and on that point I won’t argue.

This Valentino’s Day, let us give tribute to the great white, and quasi-white, master romancers of European history. They have taken the rhythms of the mating jungle and elevated it to symphonies of seduction.

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Reader Mailbag: The Fire Was Never There

“John Smith” writes about a broken engagement that didn’t work out as he had hoped,

I met this girl 18 months ago on a party and we really hit it off. I mean she was funny, beautiful and what not and I was the total stud… BUT she was engaged… and in a long distance relationship. Now I know that these don’t last (and in the end it didn’t) so I decided to stick around and see how things evolve.

I stated my intentions in the beginning (not that lame not to) and she knew from the very beginning what I wanted from her (to fuck her brains out) and she was ok with that- in a nutshell she told me “I would fuck you too but I’m engaged you know. I’m waiting for my fiance to move here and to start living together. However you’re a cool and funny guy so I want us to be friends. Don’t expect anything from me as long as I’m engaged”.

Long story short we kept seeing each other (like once a week). I have to mention as well there were two big fights between us with like a 2-3 months pause in our relations (yeah it was a strange relationship) about some stupid shit but we made up again and kept seeing each other. Her fiance was sick with their long distance relationship so he broke with her 2 months ago.

Now here comes the conclusion: her fiance broke off with her and I made my move. I told her that I want her and that she’s an amazing woman (I really mean that… more or less) [ed: I’m sure you do, but does that help you bang her?] and we started seeing each other more often. HOWEVER I sensed that something wasn’t right… There was some distance… something between us (in a negative way) and she wouldn’t let me close (you know what I mean). So I confronted her and asked her what the fuck is going on? And she told me that “yes she wanted to fuck me back then” and “yes she tought I was a cool and sexy motherfucker” but now “after so much time together” she sees me only as a friend. She couldn’t feel any atraction to me and that’s it- there couldn’t be anything between us! (no comment here). The thing is she keeps giving me signs that she wants the D (or at least I see things that way, but people around us as well tell me that when they observe us they think she likes me). That’s why I kept seeing her.

But one night after she rejected my offer to go see a movie or something like that which envolved going out only with me and beeing more intimate (again) I got pissed off and told her that this can’t go on like this (on the phone). I told her basically that I want her as a woman not as a friend and I always wanted her that way and basically I’m not interested in this bullshit pretend friendship and that we can’t be “just” friends. She was upset of course because I’m a good friend and a cool and funny guy who takes care of her, but I was sick with that crap and that was it. (It really pissed me off that thing about “too much time has passed THE FIRE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE”- she gave the speech again I swear I imploded internally when I heard this bullshit again).

So basically I told her that things can’t go one like this- we could still see each other and what not but I won’t be as envolved with her as before because there is not motivation for me anymore. So what’s your take on this whole thing? It’s not like I’m desperate- there are plenty of fish in the sea. It’s just that she’s smoking hot :D I’m curious about your opinion.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your years-long stay in the friendzone, because that’s exactly where you’ve been this whole time.

A few facts about the friendzone:

1. It doesn’t matter what she says now
2. It doesn’t matter what she said in the past
3. It doesn’t matter what your friends or her friends say
4. It doesn’t matter how strongly you feel about her
5. It doesn’t matter how much of a stud you think you are

All that matters is the receptivity of her pussy to your dick. Anything less than her full frontal assault on your crotch is meaningless white noise, more distracting than illuminating.

When a girl says that the “fire isn’t there anymore”, you can bet that the fire was never there. She was using you as a temporary cock prop to feed her need for self-esteem. With her fiancé away, you filled in nicely as the asexual lump who could give her the flattery her distaff soul craved.

Once the fiancé broke it off (and that should have been a huge red flag that she was still in love with him, because girls rarely fall out of love with men who initiate the leaving protocol), the nature of your platonic relationship with her changed. You were no longer a harmless side show. Now you were a dude with a raging boner who was dribbling acidic pre-cum of spite and bitterness and desperation all over her soft cardigan. And you cemented that impression by “making your move” and coming on very sexually as soon as you thought the coast was clear. Finally, you buried any remote chance at sex by indulging in a symphony of butthurt with your little speech about not being able to “go on like this anymore”.

Big mistake. If you had any shot with this girl, you needed to do the opposite of what you did. After the engagement ended, she was expecting you to accelerate into your natural beta chaser mode. Instead, had you slowed down and pushed away and put some emotional and physical distance between the two of you, the shock and strangeness of your behavior would have stoked her curiosity. She’s known all along you wanted her — you told her! — so you needed to sow some serious doubt about your intentions and her ability to read your intentions. You needed to preemptively eject, and return later when she had hamstered up after a few weeks of circular self-analysis questioning her desirability to you.

The main lesson here is to never put yourself in these emasculating social positions that feed your powerlessness. Stop being friends with women you want to bang.

Maxim #3: Bang first, befriend later.

Follow that maxim, and so many troubles that afflict the lonely beta male evaporate.

***

This provincial reader needs game advice that doesn’t require frequent flyer miles,

Please address what a man should do if he’s not well-travelled.

Girls usually react negatively when they find out I’ve not travelled extrensively.  Should I have a few go-to lies about travel experiences?

A dearth of travel experience is one of the easiest deficiencies to fix. So easy, it’s a wonder more men don’t bother putting in the minimal work to remake their worldliness. All you need to do is Wiki some basic knowledge about a few key European cities — Paris, London, Madrid, Prague, Rome, Venice, Berlin, Amsterdam, Stockholm, Kiev (for a challenge) — memorize it, and regurgitate it with a little personal spin added for authenticity. Travel tidbits you should have mentally available to season a conversation to taste include a couple of famous landmarks, a local restaurant name and cuisine, the name of a popular mode of local transport, the name of a nightclub, the language spoken, and a favorite local food or drink. These are the basics. If your memory and your love of tall tales are inexhaustible, you can add smaller details like the style of dance, the local fashion sense, the attitude toward foreigners, and a couple of funny stories that involve you and some irate or smitten native (depending on the mood you’re trying to evoke in your listener).

The Wiki option is far cheaper in money and time spent than the alternative. There are other sources besides Wiki, of course. Reading up on travel hot spots and studying the travel guides for local flavor should be as much a part of your game as learning negs and qualifications.

One go-to travel lie I’ve used in the past (when I was a stripling who had yet to cut a swathe across the globopolitan landscape of ladies) is a story about riding a scooter through the cypress-lined olive groves of Tuscany and getting lost on my way to visit a pen pal who lived in a nearby town. Searchig vainly for road signs I could interpret, I stopped at the side of a road in a cloud of dust to watch a fetching Italian girl read a book under a shade tree. I motioned for her to come to me, and she approached. I asked if she spoke English. She didn’t, so we spent twenty minutes communicating by drawing our thoughts in the dirt with sticks.

At the time I told this story to an entranced American girl, it wasn’t true. It became true, more or less and give or take some honeyed details, later in life. But why wait for love until later in life? Make love when you can, because it is good. And you don’t want to be one of those men who regrets the pussy he never slammed.

***

“Dentata” (troll alert) writes,

Walking down street with a fling, we pass a guy and his girl, he says hi, my fling says hi. A few seconds later, rolling her eyes and smiling a bit, “I haatte that guy. I work with him, he’s such a twit”.

When I chick signals her dislike for a guy, it’s usually an indicator of inchoate tingles right?

Context, my quasi-trollish friend. Context. If she’s telling you that she hates a certain guy, it could just be a womanish ruse at rapport greased with the viscera of a surrogate chump. Her “hatred” is irrelevant in this scenario. She may despise her coworker or merely chafe at his annoying nerdliness or his choice of footwear. The point isn’t him, it’s you. Her giddy utterance is Krazy Glue to bond your “fling” more tightly and change its molecular structure to the polymer L-T-R.

In general, it’s a good rule of thumb that when a girl explicitly declares her “hate” for this or that man, it means something sexually sinister is lurking beneath her superego surface. Women as a sex (feminists excluded) are not disposed to air their hatred of other men so cavalierly. Be especially wary if a woman expresses “hatred” for a particular man more than once or twice. Female hatred is as often repressed sexual desire as it is authentic malevolence.

***

A reader wants to know if his good friend (hmm) executed good game,

My good friend ran into an interesting situation with a girl he picked up off street-game. According to him, he didn’t overgame in the initial interaction but he is known to be a bit gamey so take that with grain of salt. He number closes and sets up a date.

The following all happened today:

Him: “T, NYC from a local’s eyes — Meet me at 50th n 5th @ 7th — wink if u hear meh!!”

Her: “Are you peacocking? And will you kino me? Maybe neg me, too. Because that’s what you usually do right?”

So at this point he reaches out to me and asks me how to respond. I consult some of my buddies that I game with and these were some of the choices:

Option A) “Wow I see you read the game. I think I’m supposed to keep plowing and tell you to shut up and meet me at 7!” (That was my choice, read it from a YaReally comment that was similar awhile back)

~~~

Option B) “I’m doing all of those things right now simultaneously n one sentence, and looking good doing them too”

~~~

Option C) “Someone read The Game”

~~~

Option D) “I’ve got my top hat and magic tricks ready”

~~~

Option E) “Put on your sexiest underwear, since you know what to expect”

Ultimately my buddy went with option A…

Him: “Wow I see you read the game. I think I’m supposed to keep plowing and tell you to shut up and meet me at 7!”

Him: “Text me if ur late!”

Her: “You can’t communicate with girls without memorizing scripts can you”

Again, my buddy consulted me and we came up with two choices from here:

Option A) “Oh I was actually doing this thing called ‘asking a cute girl out ona date’but if u want I’ll bring my top hat too”

~~~

Option B) “Damn, you caught me> I’ve been typing in the Don Corleone lines from the Godfather. Maybe I should have picked a different movie.”

~~~

Ultimately my buddy went with Option A….

And then he got this:

Her: “I am sorry but this ‘date’ is not going to happen”

~~~

So yeah, he hasn’t responded to that as of this time and not sure what’s the best move. I’m sure the best move could have been early on. Maybe he was overgaming in the initial interaction or agreeing and amplifying wasn’t the way to go.

Or this girl wasn’t even worth his time and my buddy is better off for it. Ammmmmiright? (Guys?)

The way I saw it, he had 3 choices when she called out game in her first reply

1) Disregard and keep plowing 2) Agree and amplify 3) Bend to her frame

As I type this, I realize that ellipsis game may have been the best route.

“…“, “gay”, “ssshh” all would have worked instead of the lengthy responses your friend sent. But my favorite is the recently unearthed “emoji game“. A graphic of a cat sitting next to a birthday cake strikes me as the ideal mix of no-fuck-given alpha ‘tude and teasing, flirty vibe for a girl who thinks she’s gotten one over on you.

In all my years of womanizing, I’ve never come across a woman who spitefully referenced potential game tactics I may use on her as diligently and interrogatively as this girl did. This means one of three possibilities: 1. your friend is not calibrated properly and comes on too hard as an oily player, 2. this girl is a thermonuclear feminist cunt who lives for those rare moments she can pretend she’s “calling out” a player and striking a blow for the sisterhood, or 3. she’s a slut who’s been burned in the past by a succession of players and has refined antennae that will pick up the faintest player perturbations.

Your friend understood the concept of “agree & amplify”, but he lost ground in the execution. One, his replies did sound somewhat canned. I think some of those lines have been around for a decade. In NYC, there’s a chance that more than a trivial number of girls have actually heard the same lines from other men on the make. This doesn’t invalidate the idea of A&A, but it does confirm the wisdom of knowing your mark.

Two, in the application of A&A, he violated a core CH Poon Commandment V: the golden ratio. The CH principles take precedence over the particular game tactics that animate those principles. This means that a game tactic will fail if it veers too far from its founding principle. In this case, your friend sent verbose texts that sub-communicated his lower value and his chaser role, especially set side by side with the relatively terse replies the girl sent him.

Agree and amplify is a fantastic game technique, but like all techniques its delivery should be stylistically massaged to suit the degree of defensiveness of your female target. As an example of what I’m talking about, let’s revisit that first reply she sent to your friend.

Her: “Are you peacocking? And will you kino me? Maybe neg me, too. Because that’s what you usually do right?”

You: “Peacocking sounds like a perverted sex move. Slow it down Samantha.”

See what I’ve done here? I internally identified my target as a loser “sex and the city” NYC bitch with something to prove, so I pull out a harsh reply that would stall her offensive charge. I avoid any “game” talk because that is not really breaking out of her frame; I figure that mentioning game, even re-contextualized, will risk emboldening her attack. Then I not so subtly imply her attitude is sex-drenched and that is the real cause of her defensiveness. This should relax her as the burden is now on her to prove I’m a player instead of a fantasy figure from her overactive imagination.

I smell the telltale stink of the troll in this letter, but I let it go for educational purposes. Most of you men throwing yourselves into the field will not meet women like this one, so don’t worry about it. I’ve met, if my calculations are correct, approximately four women total who made some sort of direct, needling reference to game tactics. All four’s objections were quickly overcome.

However, the world is a big place, and there are bitches out there who will play this kind of “gotcha” game with men, so it helps to have a few retaliatory weapons of mass seduction at your disposal.

PS Drop the “wink if u hear meh!!” crap. It’s girly.

PPS Of the options you gave us, (A) was actually the worst of the bunch. I would have gone with (D) from the first round and neither from the second round. Speaking of which,

Her: “You can’t communicate with girls without memorizing scripts can you”

You: “I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.”

Cheekiness is next to tingliness.

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The Best Attitude For Successfully Dating The Modern Single Woman

A reader emailed a run-of-the-mill question about the effectiveness of his text game, seeking advice from Chateau paragons of carnality. He’ll get his question answered, but there’s a bigger theme to this post.

I’m trying to extract the most fun out of this conversation with a girl. Comments? I’m building my skills. Met her on college campus and she gave me her number on the spot. Do post it if you wish, but keep my name off the post please.

Friday: Me: Hi. I see you around sometimes. Saturday at noon buy me lunch at _____; we’ll forget the world and relax in a limited time.  20-30 minutes; more if the world will wait.

The bloated prose of overgaming. Why did you text “I see you around sometimes” after she had given you her number? It sounds disjointed. Good rule to follow: there’s never a scenario when “I see you around sometimes” doesn’t sound stalker-ish. The rest of your text is comical in its romantic abandon. I know you’re trying to be ironic and funny, but does she know that? Your intense come-on, however disingenuous, reveals the limitations of text conversations.

Her: Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. I don’t know you. And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend. And we don’t feel comfortable. Sorry.

The lead may have been warm, but after your initial text it went ice cold.

Sunday. me: I laughed.

Did you laugh to yourself, or did you text her a status update on your chortling?

(another text) me: Silly your defense mechanisms activated. congrats your gfs are proud. I’m not interested in dating you or telling the world I’m talking with you. Assumed I wanted more? good girl you freaked out so hard. now I want shaved ice at ______(different place).

So hideously try-hard. Of course she assumed you wanted more. You’re reaching out to her, right? Implausible deniability is the branding of the butthurt beta who chewed off a bigger mouthful of chick sass than he could handle. If it’s obvious to everyone here reading this then it was obvious to her that you were stung by her rejection and backtracked clumsily into a transparently empty denial of intent.

I forgot to mention the girl is light-skinned Asian, about 5’5″ or 5’4″… a six or seven among the asian pop. (pretty big at my school), a four among the other white girls. I’m white. 5’6″.

Mostly irrelevant. Asians girls need more emotional investment than do white girls, but this minor racial difference wouldn’t have mattered in your case. You nuked yourself from orbit.

You came for comments on your game and suggestions for improvement, and you’ll get that, but there’s a bigger problem you need to solve: your mental state.

Better reply:

Her: Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. Sorry sorry sorry blah blah sorry sorry no tingles sorry sorry sorry you’re creepy sorry sorry sorry sorry.

You: so marriage and kids are out, then?

If you want to leave the impression that you don’t take a girl’s dodges seriously, you should approach with an attitude of amused detachment. Like she’s nothing in the scheme of your life. Which she is. If you think a girl you just met is more than nothing, your behavior will reflect your inner beta psychology. And lame, needy and tactless is no way to go through life, son.

No matter how many text suggestions you read at this blog, you will continue making the same mistakes, because your ATTITUDE is WEAK. You feel aggrieved, you feel urgency, and you feel scarcity constraining your dating market options. As long as you feel those things, you’ll never quite grasp the art of flirtatious badinage. You might parrot a killer line here or there, but that line will be book-ended by pages of betaness.

So instead of giving you a clam to eat, we’ll teach you how to fish clams for yourself. There’s really only one thing you need to know: have the right attitude, and the details of seduction, with just a little prompting, will fall into place. What’s that attitude? It’s best summed up in a thought experiment:

A girl communicates with you. It’s on! You get nervous. Don’t want to blow it. Don’t be beta don’t be beta don’t be beta. You strain to retrieve some smart response that establishes your alpha boner fides.

Instead of struggling for that perfect quip, access your deeper psyche and mold your emotional state. What would you say to her if you received her message while swaddled in the smooth flesh of three gorgeous nymphets going down on your knob?

There’s your answer.

Now let’s revisit your hopeless interaction, but this time in the form of a super alpha male luxuriating in the caresses of three darling dainties.

You: what’s up. drinks fri?

Her: Hey sorry if this sounds rude but I’ don’t really feel comfortable texting with you and definitely not comfortable meeting up with you. I don’t know you. And also I don’t know what your intentions are and I have a boyfriend. And we don’t feel comfortable. Sorry.

You: sweet.

That’s the aloof attitude to have if you want success dating the modern single woman. She doesn’t love lovesick Romeo. She loves lovestuffed Romeo whose sexy attitude is a product of getting wrung dry by a cortege of concubines.

Maxim #14: Whenever you’re at a loss for what to say to a girl you like, imagine you’re a man in bed with three beautiful women. Then say what that man would say.

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