How To Attract Girls By Doing Almost Nothing

Not absolutely nothing. (That would be silly advice for most men except famous dudes who can seduce simply by showing up.) But almost nothing. In the game of seduction, less is more.

Meeting for the first time

YOU: Hey.

HER: Hi.

YOU: Can I get your opinion on something? Won’t take a sec.

HER: Sure.

YOU: [look at her for a minute, then turn back to your drink]

HER: Are you going to ask?

YOU: Maybe later.

Texting

HER: I had a great time last night!

[three days later]

YOU: Ya me too.

[five minutes later]

HER: My phone was out for the past three days in case you were trying to call me.

YOU: Nope.

[She immediately calls.]

Calling and leaving a message on her voicemail

YOU: Hey. [click]

When she flakes

YOU: See you at 7.

HER: I forgot it was my sister’s birthday. I can’t make it. Another time!

YOU: gay.

When she plays hard to get

YOU: I’ve got Wednesday free.

HER: Ooh, I can’t do wednesday.

YOU: How about next Monday?

HER: That’s gonna be tough.

YOU: Too bad. [click]

The second date

HER: You know, I don’t do this on the second date. I’m not that type.

YOU: Cool.

HER: Cool? Ok, then… good.

YOU: [opening the front door]

HER: Where are you going? You don’t have to leave, you know.

YOU: Got to. Getting drinks with some girl who’s been bugging me lately.

HER: A girlfriend?

YOU: Pfft… who knows?

HER: [frantic] Ooookay… next time then? Promise you’ll–

YOU: [slam!]

Going out on a big date

HER: I’m ready to goooo!!!

[She steps out in a slinky black cocktail dress, waiting expectantly for a stream of flattery.]

YOU: Hold on… you got a hair out of place. There.

HER: Thanks?

YOU: You look alright.

Postcoital bliss

HER: God, that was great!

YOU: …

HER: I mean really good.

YOU: …

HER: Snuggle with me.

YOU: …

HER: I think I’m falling for you.

YOU: Sweet.

Birthdays

HER: Aww… um… a bag of Skittles.

YOU: There’s a note, too.

HER: [reading the post-it note stuck to the Skittles bag] ‘roses are red, violets are blue, don’t eat the green ones! you’re a great screw’.

YOU: [smiling with pride]

…Two days later, talking with her girl friend.

HER: He gave me a bag of Skittles for my birthday! What is that?! Does he love me?? What am I doing wrong? Is he seeing other women? Does he want more blowjobs? I practically got lockjaw last week!

Meeting her friends

HER: And this is my boyfriend, Jack… Jack? Where’d he go? Oh, he’s around here somewhere.

Farting in bed

YOU: BWAAAAP!

HER: Wow. Is the romance dead already?

YOU: BWAAAAP!

After a fight

HER: I can’t believe you were flirting with that girl at the party! Did you think I wouldn’t notice?

YOU: …

HER: Do you have anything to say for yourself?

YOU: Did you flood my toilet?

The 1AM booty call

YOU: Come over.

HER: omg are you serious?

[half hour later]

HER: U still up?

[another half hour later]

HER: Helllooo? U there?

YOU: Bring the movies.

The results of Do Almost Nothing Game look like this:

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Thought Experiment: Who Would You Have Cloned?

A while back in the blogosphere there was discussion about the ethics of cloning oneself. I’d imagine raising a clone of yourself would be like Groundhog Day, where you can predict your clone-child’s flaws and tailor a parenting style that would minimize their defects. Let’s say a clone-son would be shy. The father could then set about getting the clone-son accustomed to socially mingling with large groups of people at an early age. Or he could introduce the kid to liquor in grammar school. If you are a woman with a clone-daughter and you know she’s going to take after your big nose, you can start saving up money now for the rhinoplasty she’ll have just before the cruel junior high school years.

Maybe a more intriguing question is what other people we would want cloned. Thought experiment: if you had the power to clone an infinite number of times one person from the following list of people, who would you choose?

1. Isaac Newton
2. Gandhi
3. Muhammad Ali
4. Genghis Khan
5. Bach
6. Michelangelo
7. Sergey Brin
8. Kurt Cobain
9. Margaret Thatcher
10. Melissa Theuriau

An army of Newtons would probably be best for the world in a materialist sense, but there’s no doubt who I would have cloned into a vast standing army of pleasurebots. Is there a better reflection of our values than who we would choose to clone besides ourselves?

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Curiosity, Women And Game

Thursday left a link in the comments to this study showing that couples who do fun and exciting things together have happier marriages.

In a representative sample of long-term married couples in the United States (see Orbuch et al., 2002, for General Social Survey data comparisons), present boredom is positively correlated with a decrease in satisfaction 9 years in the future, an effect that appears to be due to boredom undermining closeness, which in turn undermines satisfaction. The effect size (b 5 􏰀.26) is quite dramatic considering that it predicted regressed change over 9 years and the sample includes only couples still together at year 16. (The 38 couples tested at year 7 who divorced by year 16 were nonsignificantly more bored at year 7 than the 123 couples who remained married.) Furthermore, all results were inde- pendent of relationship tension and conflicts. Previous cross- sectional surveys, hour-to-hour experience-sampling studies, and short-term experiments suggested such a pattern, but this is the first time it has been shown over a significant period of time and in a representative sample.

Mediation by closeness, which had not been directly tested before, integrates central aspects of the self-expansion model. Specifically, it suggests that excitement in relationships facili- tates or makes salient closeness, which in turn promotes satis- faction in the long term. Indeed, closeness may promote satisfaction via other mechanisms known to be associated with promoting satisfaction over time, such as perceived partner re- sponsiveness, transformation of motivation, commitment, com- munal norms, positive illusions, and trust.

Regarding application, these findings show directly, for the first time, that not only conflicts, but also simple boredom, can shape relationships over the long term. Given that short-term experiments demonstrate that couples can reduce boredom with shared exciting activities, the present findings suggest that benefits may be substantial and long lasting, for both husbands and wives and across racial groups—pointing to easy-to-im- plement potential additions to educational, marital preparation, and enrichment programs, and a possible supplementary tool for marital counselors. Thus, as has been found in many other do- mains, increasing rewards may matter as much or more than reducing costs; or, in more contemporary terms, it may be im- portant to focus not just on eliminating negatives, but also on enhancing positives.

This study simply confirms what game practitioners already know: curiosity is a leading indicator of alphaness. Women are drawn to the curious man. Semantically substitute “passion ” for “curiosity” and it becomes clearer why. A man satisfied with his little corner of the world is a boring man. Forget what women say about short men, or ugly men, or old men — the true tingle killer is boredom. A short, ugly, old man with genuine curiosity about the world and people around him can hit well out of his league.

Like most other personality traits, the distribution of curiosity is Gaussian. At one extreme are men like Roosh who are so curious about their place in the world they are willing to leave their homeland and careers to spend years in foreign countries with strange people who speak a strange language. At the other extreme are the semi-vegetative zombies and autisitic cases who need an unchanging daily routine just to function. In the vast middle lie the average everyday incurious Joes… happy with their lives, content to clock in their eight hours, come home to a cold brew, a warm dinner and a kiss from the wife, and occasionally take the family sightseeing in the countryside. Oh, and once in a while go crazy and try a new brand of beer.

Curiosity can exist along many metrics. Travel isn’t the only sign of a curious mind. A man who reads voraciously from all sorts of genres is more curious than the average man. And a well-read man, like a well-traveled man, will have a leg up on the competition when building rapport with a woman.

A lot of so-called alpha haters come to this board to bitch about how “true alphas” wouldn’t go out of their way to learn how to attract women. The common refrain is usually “A real alpha doesn’t worry what women think. He does his own thing.” But the fact is, we are all working hard to satisfy the requirements of the opposite sex, whether or not we consciously acknowledge it or are even aware of what we are doing. A “natural” is simply a man who has been following the precepts of game from an earlier age than most men, and therefore it is a deeper component of his psychology. Likewise, a naturally curious man who has never known what it is like to be incurious will do better with women than less curious men.

People who neglect to shape themselves into the ideal attractiveness archetype demanded by the opposite sex soon lose out to competitors who do. A wife who lets herself go is demonstrating by her actions that she doesn’t care about her husband’s desires. He will soon look elsewhere for pleasure and love. Similarly, and apropos the above study, a husband who stops taking his wife on interesting adventures demonstrates he doesn’t care about her desires. She, too, will then be inclined to wander. Naturally, not every man can reach Rooshian levels of curiosity; or at least, they can’t reach it without significant discomfort to their psyches. To expect otherwise is to assume the average man can alter his personality wholesale for the length of his life. Game requires no such psychological contortions from men. A simple and minor adjustment in the typical man’s curiosity quotient is usually enough to increase his attractiveness to women tenfold.

My advice to the naturally incurious man is as follows:

1. Find an equally incurious girl (there are more incurious girls than there are incurious men as sociosexuality science would predict, so this shouldn’t be too hard). A woman whose basal inertia level is lackadaisically low will not demand more than a token sign of inquisitiveness from her man. She will be satisfied with small changes to her routine.
2. Make an effort to push yourself out of your incurious comfort zone. This means focusing your mind on doing something out of the ordinary once in a while. For instance, instead of taking your girl out to dinner next Saturday like every other herbling, go indoor rock climbing with her. The ensuing rush (kept in check by safety ropes and belays) is nature’s perfect vaginal lube.
3. Learn to LISTEN. Women LOVE LOVE LOVE men who actually listen to them. Listening intently to a woman will make you seem like a curious man, and is especially worthwhile as it gives you valuable information to tailor your game. Note that listening is not quite the same thing as paying strict attention. It’s perfectly acceptable to nod your head and mutter a few uh huhs while she speaks as your mind drifts to wondering about the size of her areolae, as long as you commit to memory at least a couple of her points. You only need to remember a few key words with which to feed back to a girl to wow her as a man who “gets it”.
4. Do new things if for no other reason than that it will give you material to use during a pickup. Having trouble telling engaging stories to girls? That’s your subconscious telling you that you need a vacation to a place you haven’t yet visited.
5. Be unpredictable. Unpredictability can make a day trip to the beach seem like a fantastic getaway to a remote fantasy island. A surprise trip once every couple of months will be enough to keep the average vagina tingly and loyal.

Curiosity is win-win for men. You do fun, exciting things, and women become more attracted to you because of it. All it takes is a push off the couch. Given that most men can’t even manage that (“Game’s on, baby. Not now.”), a push off the couch automatically puts you ahead of the vast swath of men who secretly bore their girlfriends and wives.

But there is a downside. Women who are searching for a monogamous relationship should know that highly curious men are also curious about the opposite sex. Like most attractiveness traits that a woman admires in a man, her strongest desire is for that which can potentially hurt her.

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Mimicking Social Circle Game

20% of my lays were through social circle entrustments. That is, a significant minority of women I’ve banged were introduced to me, or I to them, through mutual friends, usually at house parties or mixed group gatherings at bars. Social circle game is a powerful force, most in evident during the college years, but always playing a role throughout life. It’s easy to see why this is so. Women’s eggs are a pricey commodity and they aren’t predisposed to hand over those eggs to just any random sperm wandering by. Women need to know the semen vehicle soliciting them is carrying quality seed. Sometimes they acquire the relevant information by talking with and observing the suitor; other times they rely on trusted friends to do their dirty work for them. Any man can get a huge leg up with a woman simply by being positively introduced to her through a friend of her’s, preferably a female friend, though a trusted beta orbiter male friend will also work in his favor.

Men don’t need social circle game to get laid. Our visual scanner is all the proof we need that we want to meet, seduce, and bang a girl. But many men do rely on social circle game because that’s what women emphasize. And men, if nothing else, are all about the path of least resistance to sex. In the final analysis, all men are ultimately playing by women’s rules of attraction. (Similarly, all women are playing by the slimmer volume of men’s rules of attraction. See: Any fat chick or aging single mom who must settle for less than what she could get if she were slender, younger, and childless.)

Recognizing this reality of the mating market, the smart man asks himself how he can capitalize on a woman’s instinct for social circle game without having any actual, you know, corresponding social circle with her. Luckily, there are ways to outmaneuver a woman’s hindbrain with subtle psychological ploys.

What you need: One socially savvy wingman (or, even better, wingwoman). One target. A trickster’s heart.

Stand with your wingman ten paces from your target. Have your wing approach the target alone. Don’t acknowledge your target in any way. Your wingman will have a script ready to recite upon introducing himself to your target.

SUPERFLY WINGMAN: Hey, I remember you. I met you at Bridget’s party a few months back. My girlfriend Ellen was with me. You know her?

ASSTITSFACE: No, I don’t think I was at that party.

SUPERFLY WINGMAN: Well, it was a while ago. No biggie. I think you mentioned you liked surfing, or maybe it was running. Are you a surfer? You kind of look like the California type surfer chick.

ASSTITSFACE: No, I’ve never surfed.

SUPERFLY WINGMAN: [Here he digresses about what she likes to do, and draws out something that she does enjoy, like badminton. The wingman will need a good ten minutes to get a solid conversation rolling] Badminton?! That’s bad ass. Hey, my buddy over there plays badminton with his nephew. I’ll introduce you guys. [Wingman waves you over. You look over, point at yourself questioningly, then join them.]

SUPERFLY WINGMAN: Hey, SUPER ALPHA DUDE, this is ASSTITSFACE. Me and Ellen met her at some party a while ago, and she likes badminton. And I thought you were the only weirdo I knew who played badminton. But don’t worry, she seems pretty cool otherwise.

SUPER ALPHA DUDE (YOU): Hey, ASSTITSFACE, I’m surprised my buddy here knows another badminton lover. [GAME ON]

***

So what was accomplished here? First, note how your wingman immediately disqualifies himself as a potential suitor when he tells the target he has a girlfriend. This is to ensure that the follow-up “fake social circle” game is not corrupted by her distrust of his intentions.

Second, when she (naturally) objects that she wasn’t at the party, your wing brushes it off, and continues on as if she *was* at the party. Now she’s starting to wonder if maybe she was there, but she sadly doesn’t remember. Your wing then quickly redirects the conversation to a related subject — surfing — one that is presumed was broached initially at the long ago party. He makes this part up, but it doesn’t matter. It’s just a springboard to get her talking about herself so that your wing can find a phony commonality between her and you. Once the commonality has been established, your wing calls you over, acting the whole time as if the target is someone your wing knows from a mutual friend.

Once you’re in, you are no longer any old schmoe she just met. Now you’re the friend of a cool guy who she may or may not have met at a mutual friend’s party. Fake social circle game is subtle in its imprint upon the female psyche, but don’t let its subtlety distract you from its power to ply pussy. Most of the women you will want to bang will not be part of your social circle. Fake social circle game can help bridge that gap.

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Agent Provocunteur

Maxim #112: Never underestimate the sneaky lengths to which a woman’s female friends will attempt to undermine her relationship with a boyfriend or husband they don’t approve of.

I was walking with a girl when one of her close female friends called. I listened in on the side of the conversation available to me.

“I’ve found the perfect guy for you… You’d really like him…. No, he’s really cute…. Do you remember Ben from Mischa’s party?…. Yes!, isn’t he funny?…. Oh you guys would be so perfect together…. I know I know….. So what?….. Oh don’t be such a worrywart…. I heard he’s a really good dancer too…. Maaaaaaybe I’ll invite him out after our Yoga class…. *laugh*…”

I knew her girl friend on the phone. She was a cute Asian girl, 28 years old, currently dating a white man in his 50s. They had been dating for over a year when we were all introduced at a party once. I remember the man was in shape and presentable, though he looked his years, with a neatly coifed head of silver hair. I was told he was an excellent tango dancer and that’s how they met. I was also told by third parties that he was uninterested in marriage or children, preferring the freedom of his bachelor life. I was naturally intrigued by this man because I am compelled to give props to any older man without obvious compensatory means who is able to bag a much younger and cuter chick on his terms. I observed them closely at the party, and noticed the Asian girl’s obvious love and devotion for him as she tenderly rested her hand on his knee. For his part, he looked at her with pride and love, and struck the acceptable alpha pose of a man in control of his love life (satisfied, borderline smug, smile coupled with glances of affection and contented stares into the distance.)

In other words, there was no evidence the Asian girl friend on the phone was dissatisfied with her older gentleman boyfriend.

Before their phone conversation was over, I leaned into the mouthpiece and shouted “Homewrecker!” The girl with me giggled.

Laugh it up, muffball.

I asked my woman companion why, if her girl friend was happy with her boyfriend, she was trying to set her up with another man? I was offered a pu pu platter of Rationalizing Hamster savories.

“But he doesn’t want kids and I know she does.”

“Did you ask him personally if he doesn’t want kids? Did you ask her if she wants to leave him because of the kids issue?”

“It’s not just the kids. He likes to stay indoors and do his own thing, and she’s just doing what he wants to do. They’re not compatible.”

“You’re absolutely positive she’d rather be out hanging with the girls instead of staying at home with him?”

“Yes, she’s a fun girl. She would be happier with someone on her wavelength.”

“She seems pretty happy right now with him.”

“He’s not serious about her.”

“Are you a mindreader?”

“Stop it. It’s a girls thing. We have intuition about this.”

“Don’t hate on love.”

If you’ve ever harbored doubts about the inherently evil nature of women as you diligently polish the porcelain pussy pedestal in your head which refuses to dislodge itself, look no further than the scheming, manipulative ploys women will happily pursue in service to destroying the love between a female friend and a man they don’t think is “appropriate” for her.

Love, as fragile, rare, and transcendent as it is, means nothing to women when the man in question offends their hypergamous sensibilities and their urge to conformity. It doesn’t even matter if the man is not their own lover. They will seek and destroy anything which subverts the established pussy order.

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Valentine’s Day Mascara

Valentine’s Day is probably the one day of the year which presents special difficulties to the harem king attempting to juggle his multiple lovers. Birthdays and anniversaries are scattered and Christmas absences can be excused by claiming to spend time with family. But Valentine’s Day is that one day of the year that every girl in the known universe expects to be spending with the man who is laying intimately with her. So what does the Man With Multiple Lovers do on this most romantic of days?

I can tell you what the harem king doesn’t do: Tell the truth. There is some literature in the seduction community dealing with harem management (or “multiple long term relationships”) for truly advanced players, but what is counseled is something along the lines of 1. be honest, 2. reframe, and 3. be exceptionally high status. For most men, satisfying condition nmber 3 is unlikely, which is the most important variable in being able to successfully and *openly* manage multiple lovers. There is a reason that seduction community advice for handling MLTRs is so sparse and half-baked — it’s damned hard to do. The fact is that most successful players — alphas and greater betas alike — will lie out of expedience to enable the gravy train of multiple concurrent pussy to keep rolling. Honest and open MLTRs of the sort extolled by pickup instructors who are scared of being labeled misogynists are very rare. I estimate less than 0.5% of men can pull it off for longer than a few months. Eventually, one or more of the girls will tire of the arrangement and opt out, and it will usually be the highest quality [read: age 18- 25, BMI 17 – 23] concubine in his harem, because she is the one with the most options on the open sexual market.

As for reframing, yes, if your game is exceptional and your aloofness unshakeable, you can execute a smooth reframe with all your women and avoid lying to them about sleeping around. But I mean your game has to be tighter than an Asian chick’s virgin anus. And don’t expect it to last much beyond the four month mark. If you think kickass reframing will net you three hot, faithful, simultaneous long term girlfriends who dote on you for years, you need to come down to earth. Your game is not that good. Even pinnacle alpha males have trouble with this. You think Angelina Jolie would tolerate for long a second lover in Brad’s bed? Sure, she likely looks the other way at his dalliances (in much the same way Elin Woods ignored the evidence of Tiger’s blatant cheating for years until the dam burst), but Brad upholds his end of the bargain by LYING about those dalliances, either forthrightly or by omission. I’m assuming Brad is cheating, because the odds of a man of his status not cheating on a rapidly trannie-mogrifying wife like Jolie are infinitesimally low.

An alternative to psy-ops pimp-style harem management for successfully operating an open and honest MLTR is to relinquish your male prerogative as sole pussy possessor. If you state up front to your girls that your desire to bed a variety of women means it’s only natural you don’t place the same expectations of fidelity on them, you can amp up your aloofness game to maximum overload and actually pull off the coveted Open and Honest MLTR. Upside: You never have to worry about covering your tracks. (Roosh recently wrote a good post about track covering). Downside: You may be swimming in polluted vaj. The downside risk to this alternative is so anathema to the majority of men, that even if they have mentally rationalized their way to embracing the wonders of the open, polyamorous relationship, they will likely find it nearly impossible to control their emotions should they suspect one of their favored mistresses is fucking another man on the side. The god of biomechanics, the one true god, is not to be trifled with. This also explains why the denizens of professed polyamorous arrangements are usually ugly, fat, middle-aged hippies with greasy hair. When the grotesqueries you are banging are practically worthless in the sexual market, you don’t much care if they screw around. You aren’t losing much.

I don’t mean to be a complete downer on the concept of the open MLTR. There is a chance, not insignificant, that following the precepts of the open relationship by establishing early on with your women a very loose code of conduct could redound in your favor. Women aren’t linear in thought or action, so telling them they have the option to fuck on the side since that is what you will be doing does not mean that your women are actually going to follow through and fuck on the side. It could just as well result in them wondering in awe at your alphaness that you don’t care if your concubines “cheat” on you. This is aloofness game taken to the nth degree, and can often send the rationalization hamsters spinning so furiously that your multiple girlfriends won’t have the mental energy to expend seeking out additional male partners. They will instead spend their spare time analyzing the smallest details of your words and actions. Remember, too, that it is not in the nature of women to sleep with more than one man at a time, so the open relationship is often open in name only. What normally happens to open relationships is the primary (most attractive) girl bolts after a few months while the lesser girls squabble for sole rights to your time.

Which brings us back to Valentine’s Day. How does the man with multiple lovers deal with V-Day? Well, as I’ve amply demonstrated above, he doesn’t tell the truth. That would be sexual suicide for most men. He prefers not to blatantly lie either, not because of his tender concern for upholding a moral order in the universe, but because as a practical matter it’s hard to keep up with lies. And the inveterate player never lets his eye too far off the practical matters, even for men such as myself with a strong streak of romanticism. No, what he does instead is EVADE. And evasion is best accomplished through planning and foresight.

Let’s say you are currently banging three girls, rated 8, 7 and 5. You’ve been with the 8 for six months, the 7 for four months, and the 5 two months. (The 5 is your guaranteed booty call when you MUST BUST RIGHT NOW.) Obviously, the 8 is going to receive the bulk of your loving attention, and you will be most upset if she were the one to leave you. So you set up the official Valentine’s Day date with the 8. Plan to do the usual stuff with her — nice restaurant, flowers, charming flattery, wild sex. Two weeks before V-Day you call the 7 and tell her to make sure she keeps the weekend before Valentine’s Day free, because you are going to take her out and show her a good time. Then you call the 5 and tell her to be free a couple of days after V-Day. Why do you do this? By preemptively arranging dates with your lesser girls around Valentine’s Day, you buy yourself plausible exemption from having to spend time with them on V-Day itself. They will be so happy that you’re taking them out they won’t be too bothered by the fact that it’s not on Valentine’s Day. If they ask why you aren’t taking them out on V-Day (most girls won’t ask, as it would be an admission of their doubts about their worthiness to you), tell them you spend Valentine’s Day with your family. Or just say you’ll be out of town, so you wanted to see them before you leave. If the spirit moves you, have some flowers delivered to them on V-Day, which they will receive with warm smiles while you are blasting a glorious load in the face of your number one lover.

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Are Pickup Artists Wrong About The Benefits Of Smiling?

Generally, most pickup instructors teach men the importance of remembering to smile on the approach. Their thinking is simple: Girls prefer the company of smiling men, because a man who is smiling is showing that he has what he wants in life. In reductionist terms, he’s advertising his worth as a provider and broadcasting his positive emotional state as a man who, the woman is likely to assume, gets his share of pussy. A woman’s hindbrain is more apt to label an impassive stone-faced man with the celibate loser scarlet L.

Examining my own successful pickups, I can recall not smiling much at all for at least half of them. Maybe a coy smirk, after introductions were made, but certainly my face was not shining brightly with the happy, smiley glow of a motivational speaker working the audience. I’ve always thought that the advice for men to smile was a bit overblown, but I could never put my finger on exactly why this is the case.

Now evidence has come out from OKCupid’s in-house blog team that smiling in profile pictures on their internet dating site is not the boon to men that many would think (link provided by reader Ben).

Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile:

Maybe women want a little mystery. What is he looking at? Slashdot? Or Engadget?

My first thought is along the the same lines. Women do have a tingle for the international mystery man. This is why salesmen on the road score so easily. It’s the “expert from afar” phenomenon that women can’t resist. Possibly mixed in with a little of the ol’ subconscious desire for hybrid vigor. The problem for women, as is the curse of their mercurial gender, lies in the tension between two contradictory pulls that happens in their brains — women love dark mystery men but they also love happy, smiling, social men. What is a woman to do? The smiling social man and the mysterious brooding man are hardly ever occupied by the same man (although I have made an art of managing it). Judging by OKCupid’s data, the best course of action for a man who insists upon internet dating (it’s a sucker’s bet for the average man) is to post a picture of yourself staring intensely into the distance at the horizon. Or at a stripper just outside the picture frame. The girl looking at your profile pic will never know the difference.

While internet profile pics are only a simulation of real-life face to face interactions, the knowledge gleaned from internet messaging habits does help inform men what might work best in a nonvirtual scenario (what used to be known as “getting out of bed in the morning”). For instance, if you are going to play “serial killer stare her into submission” your best course of action is to leaven your hard stare with a flirty grin. But you’re much better off not making intense eye contact. If women prefer the man who looks preoccupied with something else besides her, then in a social situation you want to limit your pre-approach eye contact to the bare minimum (just enough to make it register with your target) and refrain from excessive smiling, if at all. You also want to look like your full attention is directed elsewhere, and that it requires a serious face. After all, a man’s business is serious. Always. With a heavily hooded sorcerer’s robe and the right lighting (stand over a floorlight) you can attract more than your fair share of curious women, then wow them with a surprise smile once she peeks under the hood.

So unlike the advice of a lot of pickup instructors, I say don’t smile at the girl when you are walking toward her. Don’t frown either, of course. Just a dab of deviousness will do ya.

There is a lot of interesting data mining at that post, so go ahead and read the whole thing.

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