A Test Of Your Game: The Judging

Tuesday’s post inspired the commenters to heights of creativity and in-depth analysis matched in erudition only by the rapist-like wit of a femtard invasion (with betaboy lackeys in tow). I enjoyed reading through the suggestions. Bravura performance.

I chose answers that best represented the widely known competing tactics for dealing with girls who cancel dates under the pretext of obviously bullshit excuses. The girl in my story technically did not flake because she cancelled well ahead of the scheduled date time, but the method by which she cancelled was in the same spirit as a flake. How you handle a transparently silly cancellation is similar to how you handle an inconsiderate flake.

Mu’Min wrote:

“No prob, holla when U get clear.”

This is the standard cool cat, emotionally neutral, “no skin off my nose” response. This response, and the “no response” response below, should be the default go-to options for guys who don’t know what they’re doing. It’s better to invest in fundamental, low risk, conservative game than to potentially fuck it up by diversifying into high flying techie game where you are thinking too much and sending some overwrought, try-hard text in reply. Is the cool cat response the best available option given the circumstances in my scenario? Probably not, but you can feel safe using it. Your dignity will remain unscathed. This is the tactic to use when you think she’s telling the truth and you want to seem reasonable and trusting. The downside, as one commenter noted, is that you give tacit compliance to her lame excuse. If you’re concerned about rubberstamping her lies, you’re better off not responding at all.
Grade (Cool Cat Game): B

Various readers wrote:

No response. Ignore her.

Textual silence will at least leave her wondering, however briefly, if you received her text and why you didn’t respond like every other guy she’s pulled this stunt on. Roosh has talked about the effects this has on a girl. If her flake was a reflexive shit test, you can prod her curiosity with the lack of a reply. Then you give yourself an outside chance that she calls you just before the originally scheduled date time to ask if you got her message. This is good because it means she will have complied with your frame. But if she seriously lost all interest after the first meet, then you just saved yourself ten seconds not answering her text.
Grade (No Response Game): A

red wrote:

Wait a few days then send her a message to the effect: ”Hey, you missed out on a really great after dinner orgy. You shoulda been there, the action was awesome. Maybe next time.” Delivered in a straight dead-pan manner. No smiley faces or “lols”.

Cannon’s Canon wrote:

“I’m being sentenced Monday morning so it’s literally now or never”

These fall under the category of humorous, cocky replies. I laughed, but will she? Maybe. Will that mean she calls you for a date reschedule? Not likely.
Grade: C, on a humor curve

Flashman wrote:

“Hmmm…not good. You will have to make this up to me. You will give me a shoulder massage when you see me, so limber up those hands.”

This is an example of the “Still Gaming Her” response. If you don’t want to “NEXT” a girl (and if you’re a beta who hasn’t gotten laid in a while, “nexting” can seem like an awfully frustrating method for retaining your abundance mentality), then you should continue to run game with the intent of rebuilding the attraction that was there when you first met in that grimy bar. Upside: When it works, it works like gangbusters. Downside: It only works on girls who are still interested. Note: The “Still Gaming Her” text should be sent relatively soon after receiving her cancellation text. Otherwise, it will sound weird.
Grade: B-

agnostic wrote:

“That’s disappointing. We can meet on [whatever day], same time, same place. If that doesn’t work for you, we can cancel.”

sk3ptic wrote:

“Something came up I can’t hang with you tomorrow, blah blah blah.”

Similar in function to the “Still Gaming Her” text, the IOD (Indicator of Disinterest) text is an attempt to steal her frame by disqualifying yourself on the follow-up. Catch: Letting a girl know you’re willing to walk works better on girls who haven’t already disqualified themselves with their flaky behavior. Sk3ptic’s suggestion to act as if you never even saw her cancellation text is particularly intriguing as an example of appealing directly to a woman’s emotions and circumventing her logic. Reframing an interaction with a girl does not require logic. It just requires balls. And chicks dig balls; logic… not so much.
Grade: Player’s C

VK wrote:

Send her a multimedia text of a picture of your balls sack then text the words… “suck it”

This is “Nuke the pussy from orbit” text game. We should all do this. The story we could tell our buddies is worth more than the lay.
Grade: A+ if it’s an animated gif

tokyojesusfist wrote:

picking up women has nothing to do with being an alpha.

Grade: Massive Beta

Jay Gatsby wrote:

“don’t call me. I’ll call you when I get back”.

Give or take a week later, send her another text saying “I’m back. Call you later.”

This is Stratego Game. Requires forethougtht and planning. I like it for its bold moves. Something like this could shake a girl back into attraction. Downside: Too many steps to implement.
Grade: B-

Joe T. wrote:

“OK, no problem. Then meet me at the Hilton at 9 on Saturday, I will be giving a”

Jesus_Lizard wrote:

“Sounds good, but where did we meet again?…. Just kidding, how about we”

Ah yes, the dangling penis texts. Keep her wondering what the hell you were going to say. I’ve never tried this, so you’ll have to put in the field work yourselves to judge its effectiveness.
Grade: Incomplete

Kick a Bitch wrote:

“tell her to suck it up… we’re far more important ;)”

Now this is how you romance a girl.
Grade: Love

Will wrote:

“…Yes?”

Will is right that alphas do not send verbose texts. I’ve written about this before; the more laconic you are the better. But I think a lot of readers are making a mistake to assume the girl knows she sent a truncated text. Sometimes you type out a long text, send it, and close your phone without ever realizing it got partitioned into two texts. So the “Yes?” response is likely to confuse her. Which may not be a bad thing.
Grade: B+

Chuck wrote:

“You’re divorced!! Just kidding. That works out great , there’s xyz (make it sound like a big deal) and i was going to tell you I couldn’t make it. We’ll do something another day”

This is a double-barreled DLV. Your ploy to recuse yourself from the cancelled date post-hoc won’t fool her, and you’re offer of a future meetup when she just flaked on you with an insulting excuse is beta.
Grade: F

bds wrote:

“Flake. Rude.”

samuel wrote:

“I don’t know if you’re lying or not, but texting me in this way is bullshit. Cut the crap, make it up to me, and maybe I’ll give you access to my cock.”

You can’t guilt a woman into seeing you again. Women are led around by their emotions. If you make her feel bad for flaking, she’ll associate bad feelings with you. You may think you’re being an asshole, but assholes don’t care enough to feel an obligation to enlighten a girl on her bad manners. Don’t bother with these “calling her out on her BS” texts. They rarely work except on mentally unbalanced girls. I’m not theorizing here. I speak from solid experience. I once spent a couple months experimenting by calling out all the flaky girls I met. I sent about eight “I don’t accept this sort of rudeness” style texts to them when they flaked. Result: Not one of those girls replied.
Grade: D-

el chief wrote:

“gay. you’re buying if we meet up again”

This is a great example of classic old school asshole game. I love it. Short, direct, non-needy and edgy. Downside: It gives off a whiff of emotionally affected annoyance. Won’t work on girls you didn’t leave a strong impression on when you first met, but those it does work on will fuck you right after they buy you that drink.
Grade: A for Alpha Asshole

JAW wrote:

“I’ve got lots of plans over the next couple weeks. Change your plans with your friend to lunch, and I’ll see you at 8 tomorrow.”

Some would say you shouldn’t force a girl to choose between you and her friend, but an alpha would say “fuck that” and lead her to the place he wants her to be. If she’s a highly primative girl, she’ll respond favorably to this angle of attack. Now you’ve got a girl who would flake on her friend to jump your bone.
Grade: Pass and Fail

Rain And wrote:

“My friend’s band is playing again, Sunday the 15th @ xxx. You should check them out.”

Great example of Indirect text game. Don’t acknowledge her cancellation, and don’t forgive her flake by setting up another date. Just drop a hint that you’re cool if she wants to meet you someplace you’ll already be. Upside: You seem detached. Downside: It puts too much of the decision making process in her hands.
Grade: B-

******

What I Did

Ten minutes before the time we were supposed to meet, I sent this:

Hey, good luck.

I knew the excuse she gave was utterly ridiculous bullshit, so I figured the odds of meeting her again had dropped to near zero. But in the off chance that she was telling the truth, (remember, in my story her friend looks depressed. she could have been the one who was dumped), I wanted to keep the channels open for future contact. A brief, emotionally neutral text at the last second was the answer.

Everyone needs to read this comment by stagetwo. He has absolutely nailed the psychology behind the flake and the mental frame you must possess to deal with them.

if you show you assume it’s true, you’re beta: naive.
if you show you assume it’s not true, you’re beta: insecure.

In short, the matter of her veracity is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to your response. Think about it. An alpha does not care whether she’s telling the truth. Lying and flaking is all part of the wonderful fabric of femininity. He is, by nature, unmoved by such precocious antics. Stagetwo’s suggestion is either No Response or:

“sure. guess what i just saw: [unrelated observation of mutual interest]”

Grade: Money

Here are a couple more options you can pursue for dealing with flakes and which might work well.

• Flake first.

Some guys suggest the “Flake First” strategy of literally flaking out on a girl before she has had a chance to flake on you. This takes some serious balls, because most men are too weak and needy to actively blow up a chance to see a girl they like. This strategy would mean going against every instinct in your male psychology. Which is exactly why it could work on chicks like catnip. Give it a whirl. Cancel on the next three girls you schedule dates with. Don’t set up an alternate date. Just text something along the lines of “Hey, hate to say this but I have to cancel because of X. Another time.” Wait a few days. The next time you talk to her to arrange a meet, she’ll be itching to see you.

• Preselection game.

PUA Savoy has suggested sending this:

no problem, i’ll invite someone else.

“I’m a guy with options” game can blow up in your face if done under duress. You risk sounding spiteful. This type of text game could work well if you had arranged a very casual date to meet up at some event, like a show or dance class. It will have a plausible ring of truth in those cases. But if you had a one on one date at a bar with her and she cancels, then telling her you’ll invite another girl in her place will sound like a face-saving lie. This one needs field testing.

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A Test Of Your Game

The previous two times I presented a hypothetical pickup scenario and challenged you to respond with your best game, most of you revealed your beta soul with weak suggestions, but a few commenters showed a spark of alpha. Let’s see how you fare this time.

You’re at a dive bar and a friend’s crappy band is playing. You notice a cute hippie-ish chick across the room. She looks back at you ever so briefly, but a half second is all you need. As you’re mentally analyzing the logistics for optimal approach angle, she and her depressed-looking girlfriend wind their way through the small crowd and position themselves closer to you, talking to each other. Proximity IOI! You know what this means. You go in… smooth, confident, maybe one eyebrow arched, you cocky sonofabitch?

Entry is perfect. You engage her effortlessly and she responds well, smiling right away. Opening with an exceedingly trenchant observation about the band, you quickly segue into teasing her about something you notice she’s wearing. You manage to squeeze in a little kino, lightly touching her arm and the small of her back, and even a funny braid in her hair (which you gently mock, naturally). Five minutes later, attraction is established. (It shouldn’t take long if you know what you’re doing.)

She tells you that her friend wants to meet someone at another bar, so she’s going to go. She says this with an expectant look in her eyes. You notice her friend is standing with poor posture and glumly gazing around the room. A quick review of the situation tells you that following your girl like a puppy dog would look beta (after all, you’re there for your friend’s band, and they are still playing), so you say you’d like to chat again and hand her your phone. She takes it and proceeds to not only type in her number, but her name. She leaves with her sad friend.

Five minute interaction. Not enough time to move her into deeper rapport when you can impart a more indelible impression on her. You realize that mere attraction is not enough to secure a solid phone number, but you have to take your chances. A shaky number close is better than no number at all. A few minutes later, she sends you a text saying you are “adorable” and she’d like drinks soon. You text back, scolding her humorously for calling you adorable, and saying you will call. She texts once more with a funny throwaway line to which you don’t respond. (You know better than to incriminate yourself by sending the last text.)

A couple days later you call. Voicemail. No surprise there. You leave a brief message. “Hey, it’s [Massive Alpha]. Give me a call when you get this. Bye.” Four hours later she calls back. Still not surprised. After a flirty and fun ten minute conversation, you set up a date with her in two days. The day before the date you get the following text from her:

“Hey – a friend of mine is going through a break up and needs to talk tomorrow night. The rest of my week is crazy. I’ll give you a call later on and we’ll make…” [her text gets cut off here]

What do you do?

******

Tomorrow I will post a selection of answers from the readers and judge them accordingly. Then I will tell you what I did.

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A Test Of Your Game

The last time I challenged my readers to demonstrate their game skills in a hypothetical pickup situation, many commenters stepped up and offered excellent suggestions that I deemed would have led to some success with the coffeehouse girl. It’s time for another challenge. The scenario I’m about to describe is unique and one you’re not likely to encounter, but a veteran player has to be prepared for any eventuality. The best players have so fully absorbed the lessons of experience that they are able to think on their feet and surpass any obstacle.

 

Scene: You’ve met a girl in a mid-scale bar/club, it’s almost closing time, and the two of you are chatting together at the bar without interruption. You haven’t kissed or number closed her, but the vibe has been good.

You: They’re kicking us out. Come on, I’ll walk you part of the way home. It’s a zoo out there at this time of night.

Her: Ok. [she follows you out]

You: [grabbing her hand and winding through the masses of people on the sidewalk as she trails you] You live in the neighborhood?

Her: Yeah, I’m right up the street.

You: Wow, me too.

Her: Really? Where?

You: Just over by that Mexican restaurant. [pointing in that direction]

Her: Um, Ok, what street?

You: Why, are you gonna stalk me? I’ve had enough stalkers in my life, thank you.

Her: No, like, seriously, just tell me which street. [she giggles]

You: Ok, XXXX street.

Her: [getting excitable] What’s your address?

You: Ok, this is weird. You aren’t going to stalk me?

Her: No, I promise! What address!

You: XXXX XXXX street, XXXX building.

Her: Oh my god. I live in that same building! [you’re nearing your place]

You: You’ve gotta be kidding. So I guess I’ll walk you home all the way then. [you stop right in front of your place] So, um, you really live here?

Her: Ha ha! I live right next door to you! [she points at the door next to yours]

You: Unbelievable. Well, this is… different. [you have your keys out as you look at your door, then her door] How come I’ve never seen you around?

Her: I don’t know, maybe we have different work hours. I just moved here four months ago.

The two of you stand there a couple feet apart, smiling and glancing at each other. She seems a bit uncertain. The night has suddenly become very quiet. Remember, you haven’t kissed her nor have you gotten her phone number. (NOTE: She is tipsy, but not drunk, and sobering up fast.) Your brain races for what to say next, accessing every speck of knowledge you’ve acquired over the years gaming girls. The gauntlet is thrown, big guy…

What do you do?

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Generalizing Your Way Into Her Panties

Reader JB emailed me with a valuable observation about the effectiveness of using generalizations as a game tactic. He read my post “Dread” where I explain the best ways to train your girlfriend so that you maximize love output and minimize shit test incitement:

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

JB wrote:

When I read this I fucking almost spit up my mouthful of coffee. Funny because it’s true. Have you written anything about the powerful effect generalization has on the female psyche? I have used the ‘you’re just like every other girl in this city’ one and BANG!
No matter who the girl, no matter the age…she stops cold and finds herself waiting for what I’m going to say next.

Good stuff, keep it up.

Yes, it’s true. Throwing a generalization in the face of a girl you are gaming by accusing her of being “just like all the rest” is a powerful qualification tactic. It will send her into paroxysms of indignation and self-doubt as she works hard to regain your approval.

Maxim #33: NO girl wants to be thought she isn’t a special little snowflake.

Use this thermal exhaust port of female psychology to your advantage. But be careful how you deploy the generalization bomb — its mindfuck megatonnage can blow up chicks’ heads like scanners. There are two ways to laser-guide a generalization straight into the beaver bunker.

1. Exasperation. See the example above. Can be useful in pickup as well as relationship management — for instance, after she’s started acting up and attempted to find your soft underbelly. In pickup parlance, this would be during the M2F attraction phase. Watch as she spins her wheels trying to prove her uniqueness.
2. Reverse psychology. Right before you run a routine with her, like palm reading or astrological compatibility, tell her she’s probably like all the other girls in [insert city] and wouldn’t appreciate the deep and profound knowledge you are about to drop on her. If she says “What do you mean I’m like all the rest?!”, you reply “Tell me I’m wrong.”

I don’t just dispense advice, I explain *why* the advice works, stripping away the mystery and spirituality squid ink with the sandblaster of biomechanics, so you can see for yourself the predictability of the human attraction algorithm.

As I wrote in response to Clio in the comments section of this post:

here is what i think motivates the female will to believe that makeup is effective at hiding flaws from the precision guided instrument of men’s visual intake port:

the fear of the immutable.

if you’ll notice, women are the most outraged by the idea of evolutionary psychology and unchangeable genetic fate. that physical beauty should be so unalterable and at the same time so critical to a woman’s prospects for snagging an alpha male of her own sends shivers down her spine. if true, it means they cannot do much to improve their value on the open market. no educational attainment, no carreer success, no makeup, no exercise [to a point], no hob nobbing with the right people — nothing much matters but for the face they were given when mommy’s egg was fertilized by daddy’s swimmers.

yet, this is precisely how the sexual market works. and so, as the gears of the pretty lie machine clank and sputter to dispense more of its life-affirming self-delusions, the “social conditioning” brigade strikes out at the descending shroud of hopeless darkness.

Generalizations offend women in a way they do not offend men because they breach the perimeter ego defense and strike right at a woman’s core self-conception — her belief in herself as Princess On A Cloud Carried Aloft By Admiring Suitors. If it’s true that her genes account for nearly all her success or failure with the men she wants, then there isn’t much she can do to improve her chances to fulfill her deepest desires. If it’s true (and it is) that men value beauty above all else, then it is logically inescapable that she is, to an unsettling degree, interchangeable with any women who are at or above her level of physical attractiveness.

Women do not want to confront the unpleasant reality of upwardly immutable female sexual market value. (They can certainly go down in market value by bloating up or suffering a facial disfigurement.) Similarly, they do not want to admit they aren’t special. So they fight against it. They hide behind pretty little platitudes and try to correct your misperceptions to the contrary. Deep in the primitive ancestral part of her reptilian brain she fears, justifiably, that if she isn’t a unique creature in your eyes, you may be likely to leave her if a hotter woman blips your radar. FOR INNATE EVOLUTIONARILY MODULATED REASONS, SHE WANTS TO KNOW YOU SEE MORE IN HER THAN HER BEAUTY. You should leverage this female instinct to your benefit.

“So what else do you have going for you besides your beauty?”

If you are the one special suitor who wrings her princess cloud dry and sends her plummeting to earth with a well-timed generalization that belies her uniqueness, she will suddenly find, in violation of the courtship script she was so used to following, an inexplicable urge to seek *your* approval, and demonstrate for *you* how different she is from other women and how you just *have to* see that.

Then, my friend, you will be in the driver’s seat. Zoom zoom.

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What A Religious Cult Looks Like

Before this gets taken down:

Check out the glowing “O”-face of the SWPL whiter person at 1:19. Really, you can’t make this shit up.

In other news, scientists discover evangelicals aren’t the only species of fundamentalist wackos.

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A Test Of Your Game: The Judging

In yesterday’s post, I challenged you to describe how you’d go about meeting Coffeehouse Girl. The challenge brought out the creative side in many commenters. There were a lot of suggestions to neg her for using a Mac, which runs the risk of pegging you as a PC nerd if you show any amount of hostility to her choice of computer. Plus, it’s weak sauce. Commenter “Hardcore” suggested the sketch routine, which will work especially well in a relaxed lounge environment. Another commenter would tell the girl to “watch his stuff for a second” while he flirted with the barista on the way to the bathroom. This is known as compliance, and is a common tactic of PUAs *after* they have built attraction. It would not work as an opener. Others noted that if you crashed and burned you would be stuck there sitting in a sofa across from her, creating an uncomfortable vibe. To this I say, are you a man or a David Alexander? Who cares if she’s uncomfortable? If you flame out, just go back to your couch and laptop as if nothing was wrong. Her discomfort is not your moral crisis. She might even like you more for it, and re-open you later.

I’ve picked out a sampling of answers that illustrate the main schools of thought and strategies in dealing with the scenario I laid out.

Pope Goaz D’Weezil wrote:

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Yes, peacocking will work to grab attention and build intrigue. But where do you go from there?
Grade: Fail, with flair.

Mu’Min wrote:

What would I do? Simply get up, put my Thinkpad down, walk straight over to her, introduce myself and invite her to join me.

I like the boldness. Direct game has its uses. But this approach relies too much on your looks and the six feet of space you have between you and her to demonstrate your alpha body language.
Grade: Gentleman’s C

Hope wrote:

With laptops at the ready, just use music sharing as a pretext. Say you are excited about this piece of music you just discovered, and since she has a laptop, too, you wanted to invite her to listen.

This is great for the rapport building stage of attraction, but useless as an opener. Why would she care about some random guy’s taste in music? She will feel like he is forcing a connection before she has had a chance to evaluate his value as a potential mate.
Grade: D, on a girl curve.

giesen wrote:

That’s the old school way of thinking: hoping to strike up a connection by blindly approaching a hot stranger that you have no other reason to talk to.

If you want to strike up a new romance, be more social and outgoing in your day to day life, or change your routine so that you are around more people.

I’ve chosen some of these comments because I want the men here to witness firsthand how utterly self-deluded women are about game, pickup, and their own sexual desire. Because outside of business settings, men DON’T have a reason to cold approach and talk to women unless it is to get in her pants, or pawn her off to get in the pants of one of her hot friends.

So giesen instead recommends retrofitting your entire life trajectory to become more “social and outgoing”. Yes, screw game. It’s better to busily scramble after a nebulous concept. I think girls spew these kinds of useless empty platitudes because deep down they understand it will keep the betas running endlessly on their hamster wheels, thus ensuring the dating pool of “genuine” alphas stays uncorrupted.
Grade: Epic fail.

Brandy wrote:

For the average guy I would recommend letting 5-10 minutes pass without acknowledging her. This will keep you from being perceived as being too eager and aggressive and also allow her a moment to relax and let her guard down.

Then after the 5-10 minute cooling off period has passed, look for a natural opportunity to say something clever without being offensive. Smile and make eye contact. If she reciprocates and doesn’t get up and walk away – put your laptop aside, sit up, maintain eye contact and a smile and make conversation. If she reciprocates again – slowly and delicately introduce an appropriate level of game, but don’t completely turn into something you’re not – and don’t get so wrapped up in your own performance that you lose sight of how YOU feel about her as you get to know more about her.

The problem with waiting for her to “settle in” is that you risk get pegged as a cowardly beta ogler. Better to not wait long enough than to wait too long. The rest of what Brandy wrote is fine as far as traditional, passive game is concerned — make eye contact, wait for reciprocation, smile, wait for reciprocation, strike up a conversation, wait for reciprocation. It’s the game of second-place finishers who don’t want to stick their necks out and reach for the brass ring. I can tell you that if you play the game by these “girl rules” you’ll wind up banging the easy marks — the girls who like you, rather than the girls you like. You’ve gotta risk rejection to get what you really desire.
Grade: Passing, barely.

Chris wrote:

My favorite thing to get a girl interested after an introduction though is asking her a question – something innocuous like what she’s working on or what she’s drinking, and then generally regardless of her answer saying something like “Oh, so you’re one of THOSE people.”

Don’t ask innocuous questions as an opener. Again, this falls under forced rapport, and will aggravate her. Johnnyfive suggests in the comments that you *begin* with “OH, so you’re one of THOSE people.” I agree.
Grade: Mincing little fail.

Sebastian Flyte wrote:

Pretend you just got an email a second ago then use a conventional opener off of it. Laugh a little, as if you’re just reading it, then spontaneously look up and say ‘Hey, my friend was really drunk the other night and texted an ex saying he loved her, he just emailed/aimed (aim-ed might be more realistic) saying that he told her it was just the alcohol talking… I’m not sure though, do you think drunk I love you’s count?”

This is a good opener, but remember that she is sitting six feet from you in a large, acoustically-unfavorable room. You’ll still have to get her attention somehow and then talk loudly across the coffee table. If she leans forward to listen, you’ve gotten an indicator of interest, but what if she remains slouched in her sofa, straining to hear you?
Grade: B

Animus wrote:

“Don’t you find it difficult?”, “Uh, find what difficult?”, “Getting anything done in this place. I saw you poring over your laptop trying sooo hard to shut it all out. *impersonates via exaggerated brow furrowing* Like that girl in 8th grade who’s trying to take notes on the goofy cartoon movie dubbed in French, but can’t because Donald Duck sounds even more psychotic in Francais.” Smirk.

The problem with the clever opener is the risk of being perceived as trying too hard. This is particularly the case if your clever line requires a teleprompter and ten minutes to spit out. Sure, she’ll admire your impressive intellect, but that doesn’t always translate into wet pussy. Stick to cocky, short and sweet.
An improvement on this opener:
“Don’t you find it difficult?”
“Uh, find what difficult?”
“Writing the next great American novel while trying to catch guys flirting with you.”
Grade: C for the exaggerated cleverness.
Grade: A for the smirk.

T. wrote:

I’d walk over and say “Yo, gimme your email so I can walk back to my seat and spam the SHIT outta you.” with a dead serious expression.

T for the win.
Grade: A

Jesus Lizard wrote:

I would very surreptitiously take a peek up her skirt and get a panties shot – this is very important. (C’mon, this is a hypothetical and in my world its a girl in a very short skirt and her Macbook is providing me excellent shield). If I like what I see, then I take it to step two of my two step process, which is, look over at her, get her attention, maintain eye-contact for 1, maybe 10 seconds longer than that which is comfortable for her (again, in my hypo I can mesmerize women), then ever so slowly raise my right hand in the formation of a faux-claw pointed in her direction, and in precise unison, do a cat-like swipe, purr-hiss combination right at her. Let me just say this.. it works.

You should always screen a girl by peeking up her skirt.
Grade: F, but I laughed.

Affe wrote:

Leer, then query “Am I the only one with a itchy poop-chute in this joint ?” in a knowing fashion, while attempting a wink that winds up looking like an uncontrollable facial tic.

The spastic wink where both eyes close is especially effective.
Grade: A, if she’s an anal-obsessed freak. Otherwise, F-.

Racer X wrote:

The best game is this: ignore and conquer. Being the one guy in the room who shows no interest in her will make her think about you all the more.

Feigning indifference won’t work on indifferent girls.
Grade: A, if this was meant to be sarcastic. Otherwise, D- for relying on your looks.

Kick a Bitch wrote:

I’d shit my pants and throw feces at her.

If you play the Law of Large Numbers game, then there’s gotta be a 1 in a billion girl who would fall for this.
Grade: E for effort.

Anonymous threatened female posing as a guy wrote:

Personally I see you “alpha/game males” as huge fucking losers. Especially the ones “learning the game” and spouting off your little quotes and theory. You always seem to be adopting different personalities. I’ve always believed if you have to change who you are to get the attention of a woman, you lose. Plain and simple.

One thing I’ve noticed from reading this webpage (and the comments especially) is it seems to me that many “students of the game” are hyper-overanalyzers (yes, that is redudant, but you guys overanalyze SO much) and seem to think/feel/need extraordinary structure in terms of “what to do” in order to be able to function.

What if who you are is the cause of your celibacy? Then change is warranted, no? Should Charles Manson have stayed “who he was” because by doing so he would have adhered to your righteously moralistic worldview? Or should he have tried to be a better, non-murderous person? It’s easy to preach from the dichotomous pulpit you’re glued to — you’re either a natural comfortable in his own skin, or a loser learning game and being someone he’s not. But that is a false premise. Learning game is like learning a foreign language. You don’t become a different person just because you taught yourself German. Dummkopf!

This pseudo-argument you’re presenting has been knocking around in the heads of the sneering disbelievers for a long time, so I don’t expect you to see the light. But I do want to make an example of you so betas who might fall for your inane bromides aren’t sucked into believing their fates are hopeless.

Let’s be clear. The only difference between a natural alpha and a “student of the game” is level of self-awareness. Some guys do allow their systematizing nerdiness to carry them off into overanalyzing creepland, but that is not evidence that game doesn’t work. There is a learning curve, and after enough practice the skills become so second-nature that you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a natural and a guy who made a conscious, deliberate effort to learn how to pick up women.

and he also showed me this cube game about 2 years ago, and it was ridiculously stupid.

That “ridiculously stupid” cube game is chick crack. But you’d know this if you weren’t an ugly girl posing as a guy who felt threatened by guys learning game and exercising the choice of ignoring you in favor of higher quality girls.

***********

What I did:

Me: [Getting up and walking over to her side of the coffee table] I noticed you’ve been hoarding the sugar packs over here. [Grabbing one] If you wanted an excuse to talk to me, you could have just said Hi.
Her: [smiling] I’m pretty sure those were here when I got here.
Me: Likely story. I’m gonna go sit back down and answer some important emails from people seeking dating advice. I may ask for your opinion later. Sometimes a girl’s perspective helps. [Walk back]
Her: [10 minutes later] You still gonna ask me about your emails?
Me: Hmm? Oh, yeah… you won’t believe this one. Come here, check this out.

You’ll have to amuse yourselves with what happened next.

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A Test Of Your Game

Imagine yourself in the following scenario:

You’re sitting on an antique couch in your local coffeehouse, your feet propped up on the small, knee-high table in front of you, your laptop resting on your legs. You pretend to peck away at the keyboard while surreptitiously scanning the room for cute girls. It’s late afternoon on a Sunday. The room is large and crowded with people chatting, working, and lounging on crappy chairs and sofas sipping from oversized mugs, including a young couple snuggling in an adjacent chair next to you.

A girl walks up and sits on the couch opposite yours about six feet away, facing you, with the coffee table in between. She is your ideal girl — here you will picture in your mind what she looks like. (For me, that happens to be mid-20s, pale skin, dark hair, big eyes, high cheekbones and petite.)

You think… you’re not sure… that she briefly glanced at you as she sat down and settled into the couch. If so, she saw you checking her out. Eyes met, your heart fluttered. You’re not sure about the flutter status of her heart, but you assume it kept a steady indifferent beat. She pulls out a laptop — a Macbook, you note to yourself — lifts the screen and studiously peruses its contents. You look down at your monitor and a vice suddenly grips your chest as the realization dawns on you that if you don’t try to meet this girl the regret and frustration afterwards will haunt you for weeks.

I’ve described for you everything you need to know. So…

What do you do?

(You girls may answer what you would want the guy to do. Not that it will matter. We advanced experts of the human condition are smart enough to know not to take seriously anything a woman *says* she wants in regards to pickup.)

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