Girls Love It When I Don’t Take Them Seriously

Girls… oh fuck even grown women… constantly test me. DC women are the worst in this department. You’re trying to have a normal human conversation with them and it’s one challenge after another, forever pushing limits and boundaries to see just how alpha you are under pressure. Most men get frustrated and leave to pay a visit to Mike’s Apartment, but I relish turning the tables on these soul-sucking succubi. No guts no glory hole.

I’ve found girls respond like Pavlovian dogs in heat when you don’t take their shit seriously. Anything they say to get under your skin can be skillfully turned into a reverse Jedi mind trick pressing their attraction buttons. The key is to take nothing they say at face value. I’ve mentioned this before — AMUSED MASTERY is the attitude you want to project. Everything she does is cute. All her shit tests are bratty outbursts. Her silly little opinions are adorable. She is there for you to tease and taunt and patronize. Condescend to her at will.

Refusing to take a girl seriously fills her with indignation… and horniness. She’ll chastise you while stroking your thigh lasciviously. They can’t help themselves! It’s almost like women are at battle with their own secret desires, begging you with their eyes to breach their armament and storm their castles.

Girl: “Do you have a problem with a tall girl wearing heels? I’m a very dominant woman and I like men who are more dominant than me.”
Me: “There’s a homeless guy down the street who’d be perfect for you. He’s never lost a staring contest.”

This is my life.

 

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Preemptive Rejection

One thing that comes with dating a lot of women is an improved ability to detect when her level of enthusiasm isn’t matching yours, and when to cut off investment when the profit outlook is poor. Inexperience and lack of diversification causes a lot of men to hold onto a girl’s stock far longer than is wise, dragging out first dates that should have been cut loose after 15 minutes, or chasing after girls for second dates when the first date ended on a cheek peck note.

But there is another factor. Men, with a few exceptions like very empathetic artist and salesmen types, don’t have the highly refined intuition for gauging subtle social cues that women have from birth. Men’s intuition — or gut instinct — is underdeveloped. Their communication channels between their decision-making process and their subconscious have a lot of static. Women, by contrast, are always locked in to their sixth sense.

There is a reasonable explanation why this is so — as choosers of mates based on criteria less visually based, a woman with a superior sixth sense in terms of accuracy and speediness was fooled less often into bearing the children of beta schemers than a woman who had trouble judging the true character of her suitors. But as relatively indiscriminate chasers of T&A, men never needed to develop the sophisticated bullshit character detector system that serves women so well in separating the weenies from the Shaft. Lunkheaded persistence was more useful to men.

The kind of raw numbers dating experience that modern players have which never existed in the tribal environment that is still the heritage of our hindbrains plays a big role in altering this mating dynamic. A fearless guy who plucks a new woman out of the giant anonymous dating pool of the urban copulation carnival every week starts to get a good sense of his chances of closing the deal. He’ll listen better to his inner voice and cut dates short that aren’t progressing as steadily as he’d like, and he’ll avoid calling a woman for a second date when he feels based on her lackluster vibes from the first date that there’s a higher than average risk of her delaying sex, canceling the date, or taking too long to return his calls. Persistence and chasing women benefits a man less when his options are so numerous. Time and inexperience replaces rejection as his number one enemy.

But like every sea change in human behavior there is an unintended downside. I’m now so finely attuned to the slightest negative feedback from women that I get skittish at the first red flag of foot-dragging. I’ll walk away from dates after ten minutes before the condensation has formed on our drinks if she hasn’t inched closer to me on the couch or if she glanced around the room more than once instead of maintaining solid eye contact. I won’t follow up for a second date even if the first date ended with her telling me to give her a call if I suspect, based on her bad body language, that she will flake.

A woman who is too self-possessed on a first date will not get a call back from me. I need to see real physical and emotional escalation quickly or she drops off the face of the earth in favor of the next girl in my queue. The dating scene is that cutthroat now.

There is no doubt that my improved sixth sense and skittishness to avoid wasting time and resources on dead end dates has cost me girls who might’ve put out had I stayed the course and pursued a little more aggressively. But I believe the downside is worth the greater upside of saving time and headaches and minimizing the odds of a Rules girl exploiting me. Plus, I suffer less second date rejection, which is worse than approach rejection, and my ego stays strong and inflated.

Many times I have run into women at bars or on the street I had one date with but who I never called for a second date because I figured they would flake. They have always looked at me with a hint of discomfort on their faces and walked by muttering terse hellos. I take great satisfaction when this happens because I know that even if the girl never intended to see me again I robbed her of the opportunity to call the shots.

No matter how badly the first date went and how much she doesn’t want to hear from you, if you don’t call a girl for a second date it will leave her confused and less full of herself. You will have lowered her self-esteem and made it easier for the next man to nut inside her. The good karma this selfless act generates will return to you a hundred easy first dates that end the next morning.

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Inner Game

I have a friend who is very self-critical. When we go out to meet girls he will handicap his game by being too hard on himself. When he isn’t weaseling out of approaching girls with every excuse in the book he is projecting an overly attentive vibe when he does manage to enter a set. In the field, I’d often hear him say:

“I wonder if she got my jokes?”

“I hope I didn’t come off as too needy.”

“She’s probably looking for a different type of guy.”

Poor inner game — what is known by other jargon as your state of mind or your self confidence — is inwardly directed. Good inner game is outwardly directed. It’s the difference between berating yourself for not winning over others and berating others for not winning over you. The men who are naturally good with women live outside their minds — they are externally focused. The downside is that they are usually not very introspective, but who cares about that shit when you’re getting pussy? Introspection is for dainty young women in sundresses picking buttercups in meadows.

If my friend had good inner game what he would have said is:

“She loses points for not having a good sense of humor.”

“She’s the kind of girl who hides her insecurity behind aloofness.”

“I’ll chat with her to see if she’s the type of girl I want in my life.”

I hear a lot of talk about how Game routines are going stale, and chicks see right through them. In fact, the problem isn’t typically with the routines, it’s with the confidence and congruence in which they are delivered. If your inner game isn’t solid then what you present to the outside world won’t match what you are feeling inside. Your inner game is reflected through your body language and voice tone, so however clever your routines they will strike a false note if you don’t internalize the confidence you are trying to portray. You will betray yourself with negative thinking.

Fake it till you make it means faking that internal confidence as well as the external behavior. This is not as hard as it sounds. Every time you feel self-doubt and talk yourself into inaction, yell “Stop!” out loud, and your brain will reboot. You then consciously reframe your thought processes to put the burden of approval seeking on those around you. With good inner game you can say just about any ridiculous routine and the girl will be intrigued.

The most important change in thinking you can make:

You are not there to win over women, they are there to win over you.

Keep saying this over and over until you begin to believe it. You are re-wiring yourself. Don’t worry about the truth or falsity of it. That’s irrelevant.

The beauty of this system is that it turns the seduction template on its head. Co-opting a woman’s natural choosiness and making yourself the chooser instead of the chosen is extremely attractive to women. Because it hardly ever happens this way, women will happily strive to win the approval of a man who is clear in his words and his actions that he is judging them for worthiness of his attention, and not the other way around.

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Dread

There are two ways to guarantee a healthy relationship. By healthy, I mean the girl is in love with you and there is no threat of her leaving; you have all the leverage you need to assure yourself peace of mind and a steady sexual outlet.

• Meet your soulmate

If you are extremely lucky enough to cross paths with your soulmate this is the easiest way to live the kind of romantic bliss that Hollywood movies exalt. A soulmate connection is the Golden Ticket to happiness and a dreamlike existence. But it is rare. Don’t live as if it will happen to you. I estimate 1% of all men and 2% of all women meet their soulmates. The reason for the discrepancy is that male soulmates are in shorter supply than female soulmates. Male soulmates are shared amongst the women like a community hookah.

• Instill dread

Women respond viscerally in their vagina area to unpredictability, mixed signals, danger, and drama in spite of their best efforts to convince themselves otherwise. Managing your relationship in such a way that she is left with a constant, gnawing feeling of impending doom will do more for your cause than all the Valentine’s Day cards and expertly performed tongue love in the world. Like it or not, the threat of a looming breakup, whether the facts justify it or not, will spin her into a paranoid estrogen-fueled tizzy, and she’ll spend every waking second thinking about you, thinking about the relationship, thinking about how to fix it. Her love for you will blossom under these conditions. Result: she works harder to please you.

The key for the man is to adopt a posture of blase emotional distance alternated with loving tenderness. Too much of either and she’ll run off.

Examples of effective doom inducement:

Turn off your cell phone twice a week. Alternate days. Don’t do this on a Friday or Saturday night unless the relationship is shaky and needs a high voltage jolt of dread.

Make a blatant but plausibly deniable move on one of her friends when she’s not around. The news will get back to her. Milk it.

Call her from a very busy place so that she can hear women’s voices laughing and shrieking in the background. Don’t tell her where you are when she asks. Just say you’ll see her soon.

Mention how skilled your Russian ex was at giving head. Bring it up again a few days later, pretending not to remember the first time you mentioned it. Bonus: Russians are very good at giving head, so this will have the ring of truth.

Be seen by your girlfriend flirting with other women in a social venue. Extra points if the women are attractive. Double extra points if you flirt without looking back at your girlfriend once to check her reaction.

Cook her a romantic candlelight dinner at home. Make it a memorable experience, complete with jazz, chocolate, and rose petals. Then, do not talk with her for four days afterwards.

Ignore her calls for a week. When you eventually answer and she reads you the riot act, act as if nothing was wrong and accuse her of sabotaging a perfectly good relationship, “just like all the other women in this stupid city. I thought you were different”. Hang up on her angrily.

When her best friend tells you how cute you and your girlfriend look together, shrug, put your hand to the back of your neck as if to scratch an itch there, look down slightly and with a mildly annoyed expression blandly sigh “Yeeeeah…”. Triple bonus points if your girlfriend is standing right there.

When she attempts the jealousy maneuver by flirting with another guy, act unfazed. Give her pickup tips.

Gaze longingly into her eyes, say how hot she looks, then immediately glance sidelong at the bosom of any strange woman in the vicinity.

Have a threesome. Spend an inordinate amount of time admiring the labia of the other woman. Be sure to moan louder with her. WARNING: If you cum on the other woman you will have to spend weeks consoling your girlfriend.

Say things like “I really value my independence and freedom” relevant to nothing in particular. It’s just a thought that popped in your head.

Thermonuclear Option:

Have an affair and make sure she finds out about it. Arrange the confrontation so that it does not happen at your place. When she confronts you, don’t get defensive. Don’t speak at all. Let her vent. Let her punch you in the chest and scream obscenities. When she takes a breather, tell her she’s never looked more beautiful and you will never stop loving her. Then without waiting for her response calmly walk out the door and break off all contact for two weeks. When she comes back to you… and she will… you will have a love slave for life.

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First Impressions

Take a look at this photo:

What snap judgements did you just make of each girl? Don’t think too hard about this, go with your gut. Once you have your answers, scroll down to see if they match mine.

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Girl on left: Cockblock.

Middle girl: Chaperone.

Girl on right: Shit tester.

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Handling The Two Types of Breakups

There are essentially two types of breakups initiated by the girl that the average guy will encounter. Knowing which one you are dealing with is very important as that knowledge will enable you to manage the fallout to your benefit. (Where said benefit is defined as keeping the sex going.)

Breakup Scenario #1:

She’s lost attraction for you. Forget about the reasons why. They don’t matter at this point, and arguing with her about those reasons will only dig your hole deeper. Once a girl’s heart has gone carbonite cold you’re left with one option for releasing it from hibernation. This is your moment in the spotlight to call upon the twin gods of Aloofness and Indifference. No two deities have ever done more for a man’s self-respect and sexual allure. She wants to have “a talk”? Let her. While she’s talking, pick at your toenails. Take a piss. Ask her what she thinks of your new sneakers. Casually interrupt her breakup monologue, saying “Before you continue, did you catch that debate last night? This election is gonna be a squeaker.” When she finally lowers the boom, look bemused and announce “OK, well, take care then.” Make sure to pat her on the knee as you say this. She’ll look at you confused and ask if you have anything to say. Tell her “Nope, you’ve pretty much covered it all.” This will really fuck up her final act script. She wants confirmation that she’s going out on top and denying her that will ensure those old feelings flood her loins again. One week later expect a surprise call from her. Tip: It helps to rub one out just prior to a breakup talk. The calm state afterwards will give your aloofness the feel of authenticity.

Breakup Scenario #2:

She hasn’t lost attraction for you. She’s calling it quits because the passion started to fade and she was feeling unsure about your commitment to her. Again, the reasons don’t necessarily matter, and even if they did it’s pointless to ask a girl why she wants to break up. The female brain is incapable of straightforwardly answering that question. If she tried, she would sputter and pop gears like a robot computing a logical paradox. However, in this scenario your best response is NOT aloofness. Since she still harbors feelings for you what you need to do is amp the drama. Give free rein to your raging, untamed masculine essence. Pound the wall. Yell and swear with abandon. Chew her out. Grab her squarely by the shoulders and hold eye contact for a minute, lowering your voice to say “I’m not letting you go this easily. If you don’t love me then say it now. Say it! I dare you! … That’s what I thought.”, then passionately kiss her. If necessary, recreate a famous dramatic scene from a movie that girls love. If she calls you out on it and says “Hey, isn’t that from Casablanca?”, tell her to “Shut up and kiss me.”

Of course, knowing ahead of time which type of breakup she plans for you is more of an art than a science. If she says she has bad news with tears in her eyes and she’s jabbing a finger in your chest to punctuate her laundry list of grievances, assume you are dealing with breakup scenario #2. If she tries to break up over the phone or text, it’s guaranteed to be breakup scenario #1. If she breaks up with you face to face wearing old sweatpants, three layers of thick cable knit sweaters, and a scarf indoors while sitting as far away on the opposite side of the couch as possible, you are definitely the victim of breakup scenario #1. Try to french kiss her just for the funny reaction you’ll get. (I’ve done this.)

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Withholding Sex

A local DC girl wrote a post about withholding sex in an effort to strong arm her boyfriend to marry her. (Note: The original post has been taken down by the author but you can google cache to find it.)

Let’s start this off with a patented maxim:

Maxim #25: Withholding sex is the tactic of a woman who has already lost. It is mutually assured destruction.

If a woman is withholding sex, she may win a few battles with a beta boyfriend but she has lost the war. It’s a scorched earth strategy that fails on two levels.

One, it only works on guys who can’t score elsewhere. That is to say, undesirable guys. Pissant betas with no alternative options will step right in line yapping yes-dears like spineless whimpering curs once the snatch spigot is turned off. I have seen it with my own eyes… friends who suddenly have to spend Saturdays at Pier 1 or Crate & Barrel pawing through throw pillow bins because the girlfriend pouted and clamped her legs shut. Using sex as a weapon WILL work if the enemy (and that’s what he is if the relationship has gotten to this point) is weak and defenseless. Like “The Rules”, there is a certain amount of tried and true cynicism that will get a woman what she wants… superficially.

I say “superficially” because the seed of a scheming woman’s own unhappiness is contained in the success of her manipulative strategy. A woman who breaks her man by withholding sex is a woman who will never truly respect that man. She will come to resent him for letting her get her way through such devious means. And she will see him as weak, not to be trusted. How can you trust a man who would sacrifice his dignity just to keep the vagina flowing?

An alpha who knows how to pick up women will simply walk away from any girlfriend trying to pull the “my pussy is GOLD!” routine on him. Her selfishness will have backfired.

Two, if it works it merely extends a relationship — sometimes into marriage — that is built on a shallow foundation which is guaranteed to eventually give out. If the love is more than a one-way street, she will never view sex as a bargaining chip and he will never make her so unhappy that she would seriously entertain the idea of commoditizing her cunt. So let’s say this chick gets her way — she locks up her pussy for a few weeks and he caves, buying her an expensive engagement ring. Sounds romantic, eh? If I were a betting man, I’d short sell this marriage.

Practically speaking, the withholding sex strategy is a maneuver that has lost much of its effectiveness as a means to corral a foot-dragger into proposing marriage thanks to all-access, all-the-time, all-you-can-want internet porn. A lot of men can wait out a girl playing these games by resorting to porn. And men who have been with many women, the ones who don’t need porn, the ones all women want, won’t wait long at all. They’ll wander off in search of fresh meat the moment she’s strapped on the chastity belt.

Men can play this game, too. I’ve “withheld” sex from women, not intentionally, because I was tired or sated from sex with other women. Let me tell you, turning the tables like this will REALLY fuck with a girl’s head. They take it personally, like you just left a turd in every one of her shoes.

Girls must be hardwired to completely freak out if their sexual favors are rejected. That is because they have little experience dealing with direct sexual rejection. Men are built to handle sexual rejection better. Therefore, men’s egos are stronger than women’s egos.

Update:

VK made a good point in the comments about how withholding sex can become a habit if the woman sees it is working on her man. Capitulating even once to such a woman can lead down a dangerous slippery slope.

It starts with roping the guy into marriage, then the next thing you know she’s making an impenetrable crotch fortress out of the bedsheets because you didn’t spread the cream cheese on her bagel the way she likes it.

My advice to any man who senses he is being victimized by a sex withholder — run away as fast as you can and stay away. If she wins, she wins for life. You’ll wind up begging for sex every freaking day you and her are together.

You: “Can we have sex now?”

Her: “Did you finish your chores?”

Think about it.

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