Archive for the ‘Reader Mailbag’ Category

Email #1

Reader Salta experiences sky rockets in flight… posterior delight.

In other news…
My gf was blowing me and she playfully suggested sticking her finger up my asshole; I obviously refused. Is this a subtle, subconscious shit test checking for effeminateness?

Is your girlfriend Asian? Waifus for some reason love SURPRIZE BUTTPLAY. I don’t know if it’s because a lot of Asian women know that the prostate is an erogenous zone and capable of being stimulated during sex, or because Asian women eagerly take any opportunity to fly their kink flag and throw off the Chinese finger cuffs of the modest model minority.

Regardless, your gf’s peripatetic pointer is less a (literal) shit test of your effeminacy than it is a palimpsest of her twisted libido. It’s also quite possible that she discovered the “technique” watching porn or, less benignly, she picked it up from a former lover. Don’t overthink it. Just relax and let her introduce you the the homosex gateway plug.


Email #2

Lurking Gorilla suffers a penalty of boyfrienddom that bedevils many men. (What a wonderful time the pre-phone era must have been for men, who could simply walk out of the prairie home to get away from the snapper chatter.)

Can I get your advice on something, Heartiste? You are my single most trusted source of reality-based insight on distaff matters. How do you deal with a girlfriend who wants to yap your ear off on the phone every night?

She gets hurt, upset and pissy when she doesn’t get to talk to me for 20-30 minutes on the phone each day. I see her 3-4 times a week, and the other nights she wants to talk, talk, talk, talk, despite the various texts I send her throughout the day and the strong hints that I dislike long talks on the phone. This is the only thing that annoys me about her. She’s otherwise not needy at all. Maybe I need to just sack up and get over it?

I feel your pain. Understand that the phone is a girlfriend’s means of testing your commitment to the relationship, and this is more true now that actually talking on the phone has largely been replaced by texting and ichatting.

She wants reassurance that you’ve got both feet in, and your willingness to stay on the line for a half hour every day is solid proof her program to beta-tize you is yielding fruit.

Funny thing, most men don’t like talking on the phone with girls because 1. most girls are fairly boring (talk about stuff that doesn’t interest men) and 2. we like to gaze at the girl’s pretty face and arousing body as she speaks, which fortifies us for the boredom about to commence.

This is why the PHONE GAB SHIT TEST is such a powerful tool to reassure (or warn) women about their boyfriends’ inclination to commit. If a man can stand to gab with his girl on the phone for a half hour every day without the motivating pleasure of her physical form to fill him with saintly patience, then she knows he is BREAKING BETA and well on the way to forswearing all alternative pussy for hers alone.

(For many reasons, including this one, texting has been a dating market boon for men.)

Anyhow, you need to train her like you would train a youthfully rambunctious and disobedient dog who nonetheless loves you deeply. (Read the seminal post on this topic.) You have to start taking steps away from the daily phone gab. Not all at once, mind. That might scare her into crazygirl theatrics or worse. Pull back gradually. Don’t answer her call once or twice a week. Call her back either much later or the next day. At first, have a crib sheet of excuses handy to get off the phone; later, as she’s getting accustomed to your early exits, just announce you have to go and leave it at that, promptly hanging up before she has a chance to protest.

Stay true to the woman-training formula: Punish immediately, reward intermittently. As you guide her to your preferred female behavior, get in the habit of cutting her off every time she starts to ramble, and once in a while compliment her for her brevity of communication.


Email #3

A (non-technical) wounded warrior would like to know how best to frame his scar for maximum pussy-tingling impact.

I’ve got a question – I’ll donate $20 for your answer. I recently read your Wounded Warrior Post.

I’ve got a rather large scar on my stomach. I have it because I was born 89 days early, due to my intestines rupturing in the womb, though the doctors and my parents didn’t know at the time. My father made the decision to perform surgery on me as opposed to waiting it out seeing what happened.

They cut my mother open, took me out, cut me open, took some things out, put some things in, and sewed me back up. Because of the operation, I don’t have an inferior vena cava (but I have lots of smaller veins doing the same job).

Here’s a picture:


My question is – how would you tell the story of my scar?

Yeah, I’d forget about telling the real story. That will elicit sympathy moans from women, but not tingle moans.

Yet, you don’t want a backstory so outlandish that it conflicts with your personality. Plus, the bigger the lie and the more details you need command over, the harder it will be to keep the story straight in your head.

You need to maintain some time-appropriate distance between your injury and the present day. Don’t tell girls you got it last week. I’d probably try something like, “Skateboarding accident in high school, got it while showing off for a girl. Now I know better. I let girls show off for me.”

If you don’t want to lie, you can reframe the actual story into something less clinical. “I was a bad birth, caused my mother lots of pain as she says. I guess I haven’t changed all that much.”

I invite readers to suggest alternate stories.


Email #4

This reader is ready for a safari.

i was wondering, If a white man made a dating profile on blackpeoplemeet.com would women get offended or would they be like “oh this guy doesn’t give a shit about the rules, that’s alpha as fuck tingles tingles tingles.

what do you think?

Both. Taking offense and tingles are mutually inclusive. Naturally, a lot of the black women will think you’re trolling, so you’ll need to drop more “sincerity” game than you would normally use on white chicks. For example, “If I can’t put a beer on a girl’s ass when she’s standing up I don’t wanna know her.”


Email #5

H-man asks,

How do you deal with a woman that flirts with another man in your presence after you have entered comfort with her?

You aren’t in “comfort stage” if she’s flirting with another man.

I met this young girl – senior in college. I’m 26 and successful professional. I approached her and her friend early in the night and they joined me in a trivia team (it was trivia night at the bar, they didn’t know).

We had a great time and my girl started getting tipsy. The other friend left while I assured them both I’d take care of my girl. We spent time at the bar talking about all kinds of things. Her confusion with life and whatnot, she started tearing up a bit. I went in for the kiss and and she kissed but turned away but kept letting me reach her lips.

Sounds like you jumped into rapport too soon, before you had enough attraction. Did you qualify her, tease her, neg her, playfully push her away, flirt with other girls in her company?

When we transitioned to a different part of the bar she latched onto the first guy she saw. I’m way more attractive than him I know it was all from her making me jealous.

Well, maybe. It could also be that she found the other man more enticing and decided it was time to end the fun with you before your expectations got too high.

She started playing with his hair and he was surprised but just went with it. About 5 minutes of this nonsense I told I’m going home (I had mentioned it earlier, I was trying to pull her home). In her excitement playing with the other guy she said “okay go”. So I just left.

Wondering how to nip this type of behavior in the bud next time.

Ok, what we have here is one of two scenarios:

An immature attention whore who DOES like you and thinks that the way to arouse you to action is by making you jealous (women are dumb, #3,496 in a series) OR

A femme fatale who enjoyed your emotional tamponing and lustful stares but had no intention of following through with her putative end of the deal.

In future, you nip this behavior in the bud by avoiding premature capitulation to “talking about all kinds of things” with a girl before you have challenged her to prove her worth to you. Please consult the archives by doing a search for “game techniques”, “qualification”, “teasing”, and “push-pull”.

Also, don’t rely on drunkenness to gauge a girl’s attraction for you. Many girls will flirt ostentatiously when drunk, but will pull back when their flirting is reciprocated a little too strongly.


Email #6

Benson wants to know how best to trim some hedges.

I would like some feedback on this approach.

I picked my brother up from the rental car place today. There was a cute blonde girl working the desk, so I decided to try for a number. She reciprocated my teasing while she filled out some paperwork, even upping the ante a little, I’d say.

Did you lap her flirting up like a hungry chump, or did you push her off a little and accuse her of watching too many rom-coms? A lot of men think that any flirting from a girl is pretext to flirt back with a hundred time the firepower, but flirting is really about engaging and disengaging in a symphony of plausible deniability.

So after she finished helping my brother, I pulled out my phone and said,

“Put your number in there.”

Her: “Why?”

“So I can text and call you.”

Her: “I have a boyfriend.”

“I won’t tell him.”

I’m not a fan of this reply. It puts frontmost in her mind the illicit nature of her interaction with you, which will trigger her ASD (anti-slut defense). Should’ve tried this instead.

Her: “But I will, and he’ll get mad that I’m texting you, and I don’t want him to get mad at you because you’re nice.”

“Call it planning for the future,” I said as I set my phone down in front of her and pointed at the key pad.

She stared at my phone for a second, look up and said, “I can’t, but I appreciate it.”

It’s sound a little dry when I type it out, but the exchange was playful. She also said most guys wouldn’t ask for a number, and it was cool that I tried. But I didn’t hit the right buttons, so tell me what I could have done better.

There are a lot of “I have a boyfriend” neutralizers of varying effectiveness. In your case, Benson, it seems like there just wasn’t sufficient time for an attraction to develop from your back-and-forth (and were her coworkers or other customers within earshot?) and, most importantly, she really could have had a boyfriend whom she loved, and her resistance was genuine.

At least she was nice in her rejection, assuring you that your romantic interest really did liven her day. A nice girl with empathy? Yeah, the odds went up that she really has a boyfriend she doesn’t want to leave.

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Letter #1

Reader theasdgamer wonders about a strange female behavior in the social media wilds.

Facebook tactics question: Why would a girl delete you as a friend and immediately send a friend request?

Other than for some unfamiliar technical reason beyond my ken atm, a girl might pull this “rejection-reengage” stunt to jolt you into (re-)noticing her. Which you did. So, it worked. This could then mean she likes you, or she likes cockteasing you.

Or, she might do this to test the strength of your interest in her. As a FB friend, she sits there like a lump in your ascii universe, but as a “refriend request”, she can know (well, in her mind) by the rapidity of your acceptance if she’s foremost in your thoughts. Maybe she surmises this is a way to get you into a courtly conversation she’s too shy to start herself, unsolicited?


Letter #2

Jake asks,

Got a quick question.  I’ve been trying to get some insight on this idea but can’t find a straight answer.  I’ve been seeing this girl for about 3 months and want to make her addicted to me (it’s easier that way).  She’s out of town right now partying (basically) so when she comes back and expects sheer excitement for reuniting should I act mildly uninterested and maybe even tell her that I lost interest while she was away?  Or would it be better to communicate this non verbally and just with body language and distance rather?  Any help would be appreciated. Thanks a ton.

Don’t *tell* her you lost interest. In the realm of tenuous romance, asserting one thing is the same as admitting the opposite thing. She’ll see right through that.

First, a girlfriend who has been away for three months “partying” may as well be trespassed property. Unless you know for sure she’s head over heels for you, your working assumption should be that she got kinky with another lover during her straycation. Maybe not sex, but something illicit happened.

Did she contact you at all during that time away? If not, you may seriously want to consider silently demoting this girl from sole lover to spinning plate.

Under no circumstance should you let your butthurt light shine through. That means, in practice, continuing to act like a man who is confident his gf didn’t stray, loves him eternally, and couldn’t wait to get home to him. It also means, if you sense the pressing need to regain relationship hand, playing a little hard-to-commit. Acceptable ways to regain that hand:

– don’t be available when she gets home. let her stew alone for a short time wondering why you weren’t there for her, waiting with open arms.
– when you get to her place (or she to yours), grab her immediately and lift her to the bedroom for biblical knowing. if she resists in any way other than playful facetiousness, you have a strong clue she hoisted her furry furls onto foreign flagpole in her absence.
– tease her about having to fight off all the men while you weren’t watching. see if she gets nervous or squirrely.
– did she bring back a gift for you? be careful, this could be a trap. sometimes, girls buy gifts to alleviate their slut guilt.
– finally, give your relationship a breather. it’s been three months; you want her badly and she knows this. she’s in the driver’s seat. surprise her by acting noncommittal when she returns. don’t see her too soon, or too often, or for too long each time. make her work her way back to chasing you.


Letter #3

Adam writes,

I have the question for you.  If you can give me your wisdom I will donate 100 bucks to you.  Man’s honor an a writer myself.

Why?  Why can women not say what they logically want???? Why did freud have to ask the question after 30 years of research “what do women want?”.  Why can’t they just say it?  Why do we have to analyze this?  Can they not explain themselves?  Are they conscious that they do not share this?  Is there an article I haven’t seen on your site that explains this?

Phew, breathe slowly!

No need for an exegesis. Summary explanation for women’s romantic opacity: If she tells you exactly what she wants, she’ll never know for sure if you’re giving her what she wants because she asked for it or because you were emotionally and gonadally moved by the scrotal spirit to give it to her. And, not to miss a crucial component, she’ll never know if you’re the PRESELECTED, LOVED-BY-OTHER-HSMV-WOMEN savvy man who knows from experience just what women need to feel alive.

All this stuff is encoded at the gene level, btw, so don’t expect it to be apprehended much beyond the boundaries of the hindbrain.


Letter #4

Emailer HJ writes,

I’ve been following your advice and that of others in the sphere, but I’ve hit a problem which no-one seems to talk about too much, and which is really driving me crazy, namely, how do I get the girls to stop contacting me, messaging, texting, leaving voicemails, etc. They really demand an inordinate amount of attention, and it’s driving me insane.

Worthy humblebrag.

Endless nattering, and when you don’t reply, the hamster goes into overdrive and they start imagining all kinds of nonsense and telling you all about it. In a way I guess that’s good because it means that they’re chasing but jesusfuck – how to stop them being so needy and clingy and demanding of my most valuable resource – attention.

There are four ways to tackle this problem.

1. Establish your boundaries up front. If you let a girl know, in certain terms or by your unquestionable actions, that you aren’t in this for the long-term, you will reduce the likelihood of clinginess and attention-seeking behavior later on.

2. If it’s too late for (1), tease the girl about “being one of those stalker types, haha. i knew i should’ve trusted my gut about you”. Sometimes, a sly shaming will set a girl straight.

3. Give your girls more attention. I know, crazy talk, but if you’re serious about any of them, they will come to expect more from you than fly-by-night dickings.

4. Get better at screening girls for potential clinginess and attention-hogging. You need to know what to look for: Thousand cock stare, history of getting dumped by cads, child-like and superficial romanticism, middling beauty, prone to dramatic outbursts, talks a lot about her exes. You want to look for the type of girl who, in general, *can’t let go*… of anything.


Letter #5

Richard, who writes with a style that suggest Eastern Euro provenance, is in pain, and would like your palliative.

Hello Chateau Heartiste proprietors and avid readers,

I have a question and problem at the same time. How do you get overconfident without being fake to yourself?

There’s your first problem: You have the wrong frame of mind. You’re not “being fake to yourself”, you’re “allowing the best of yourself to come out and play”.

There’s the situation – i’m currently 22 y.o. student and only recently i’ve become aware of the red pill. Now when i think about high-school years i see myself more leaning to blue side than red but i didnt kneel before almighty pussy. Now getting to the root problem – how do i get out of my head?

Touch, taste, hear, and smell more things. Seriously. When you go out, allow your physical senses to roam your environment. This will help take some of the load off your mental circuitry.

If you’re familiar with “genius failure paradox” you should get the idea i’m talking about.

The perfect is the enemy of the poon.

In my blue days i thought myself as a way smarter person than other males. It was like double-edged sword – the more i got better grades the more i withdrew from society. I tried to rationalize myself by saying to myself that i’m beyond this mere alpha/beta/omega context but actually i was bitter of my own low SMV.

If you think you have low SMV, so will girls. Or, more precisely, if you constantly berate yourself for a self-perceived low SMV, don’t be surprised if it becomes self-fulfilling. This is a form of “faking underconfidence”, which is as detrimental to your romantic success as overconfidence is beneficial.

As years progressed i became more and more withdrawn into “abstract” realm – i started to question my own identity like – whenever at this moment i’m real myself or just a mix of character features from other people?

Reimagining yourself doesn’t make you unreal. It makes you imaginative. Which chicks dig.

As for now i feel i’m quite familiar with red pill content but there’s a part of inner beta which i’m unable to kill because i have zero experience with girls in real life.

22 years old and zero romantic experience? You have some catching up to do, but don’t worry, there’s still time. Just know that the longer you go without sex and love, the bitterer you are likely to become, and the harder it will get to overcome your pussy drought. I don’t mean to pressure you into spergy overreaction, but you should start making some moves to improve your social skills.

I can be smooth-talker on internet but it’s useless to do the same in real life. I’ve been losing my edginess with each progressing year from 5th or 6th grade and i’m unable to reconnect with inner masculinity. Help would be much appreciated but maybe it’s too late?

You recall being edgy in 5th grade? Weird.

It’s never too late to become more interesting to women, but it can be too late to enjoy their company with unbridled abandon. So, yes, time is of the essence.

What you ask is far too broad to cover adequately in one blog post, but here’s a tip that’ll get you started:

You have to talk to a girl. Don’t choose a hottie as your first subject. You’ll be too nervous and intimidated. Don’t choose a fugly either. You’ll be too resentful and bitter. Find a sweet spot.. some average looking girl at work or at a place where there’s lots of environmental stimulus to spur conversation (ever picked up a woman waiting in line for a roller coaster ride?). Get your feet wet, your wheels spinning, your testes descending, and, slowly but surely, you’ll climb outta your funk. With each step up from the abyss, successive attempts at romance, magically, will seem easier. Because girls will begin to make them easier for you.

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What does an uphill battle with a girl in chat look like? A reader who shall go by the initials “CM” writes,

Attached is my first contribution for your critique and the amusement of readers of the hallowed chambers of the Château.

Here in middle sized university city UK there aren’t too many 8+ around on your average night out. My current plates consist of an English 8 (29), Indian student 6.5 (21) and Polish nurse 7 (31). Swapping out the 6.5/7 for something hotter is a proving tricky since I don’t approach in sufficient numbers. Most of the 8+ are aged 18-24. I usually let them guess my age and then correct them at their guess plus 1 (recently ranging from 23-28) – I’m 34.

This conversation was after a 5 min chat outside a cocktail bar. I was acquainted with one of her friends that used to work somewhere I shopped. I didn’t have great confidence in a further meeting since the interaction was brief and wasn’t as sexually charged as I would have wanted to get. Fighting an uphill battle?

Feel free to publish the chat but please omit my name and her photo (a solid 8 I reckon).

The girl is attractive and slender. She would be a nice addition to the Chateau seraglio.

Here’s CM’s messaging exchange.

As you can see, her shit tests come charging right out of the gate (as is the automatic reflex of pretty girls).

who and huh? Haha

CM swats it away. I’ve read this text exchange a couple of times, and it’s interesting to me because there doesn’t appear to be a moment when CM blew it. There was no “bad game” that could be blamed for killing a promising vibe. He gets some decent teases in there, and doesn’t chase too hard.

If there were a couple of missteps that I had to call out, they would be:

you’re the nerdy little beautician right?

This is a passable neg, but I have a policy against total recall in chats. Very subtly, the act of remembering a drunk woman’s job when all you have in common with her is a short conversation is, to a woman’s mind, something of a beta tell. This is especially true for young, cute women who get a lot of attention from desperadoes. She will think (or her limbic node will think for her), “This guy must really like me if he remembered something about me I don’t even remember telling him.” If you have to ask, this isn’t a good emotion to evoke in a girl who hasn’t invested anything in you.

The other misstep:

Yeh im fussy too. U live close by in?

Dragging out the “full bod massage” script flipping was probably overkill at this point, but the question about where she lives was unnecessary and, since we’re talking about a girl CM hardly knows, a risky probe. Girls are very circumspect of men who ask what could be misconstrued as stalker questions. I would’ve just suggested a venue and then let her explain, if required, why that venue is too far for her.

Maybe the other thing CM should’ve done is offer a day for a date that was a little further into the future, instead of the next day.

None of these quibbles are of major concern. (TBH, I don’t get his last message. Was that a non sequitur text game attempt?) My take is that in the hour between him suggesting tomorrow for a date and her rejection, some old flame, or new guilt, reasserted himself or itself in her life. Her rejection — I work late and long days — is an obviously implausible blowoff (what, is she working 168 hour weeks?), but I don’t see it being a consequence of CM dropping the ball somewhere. It looks more like (my best guess) fate intervened against CM, or she is the kind of girl (beautician! hah) who really responds sexually to edgier jerkboys. If the latter, CM needed to communicate that better in his messages. As is, he’s operating in Jerkboy Lite mode, and that won’t cut it for the younger hotties.

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Email #1, from “Invictus”.

Discovered the site about a month ago, and love the info from you and a couple of your regular commenters (yareally and sentient especially).

I have a couple of questions.

1. I live in a very small town (my hometown) in the middle of nowhere as a chiropractor in my own private practice.  I am financially unable to move until loans are paid off.  The only reason I came back here was that it was the only place where a bank would loan me money to start.  My problem is that there aren’t many women around here to practice game with, and I think I add pressure to make things work with women due to the lack of women in the area (scarcity mentality).  What can I do to overcome this?

I wonder if this is a case of small local banks doing their part to discourage brain drain? Kind of like closed loan borders. Anyhow, my advice is change fields, if your dating situation is that bad. But I doubt it’s that bad. The internet was invented for men like yourself stuck in small towns with poor prospects. Get some online relationships going with a few hotties (chicks dig a doctor, fib a bit), travel to see them every once in a while, and watch your scarcity mentality melt away.

2.  I read in many of your posts about making women chase you.  How exactly is this best accomplished?

Sheesh. There are a million ways. The clearest summary of all those ways is hot-cold-hot-cold. You show interest, you disappear, you make promises, you don’t follow through, you initiate conversations, you reply late with one-word blurts, you guide her to the bedroom, you take a phone call in the hall. Hot-cold-hot-cold is the expression of the attitude that YOU ARE THE PRIZE. When you think of yourself as God’s gift to women, women will believe the Word of You. A lack of neediness, sexy aloofness, is a cue to women that you have sexual market options. When women perceive that about you, they are jolted out of their instinctive role as the chased and an internal switch is flipped that causes them to assume the role of the chaser.


Email #2, from “QDA”.

Reading your site has often helped me clear my tactical approach to game, and I need some help right now.

The following happened not more than two hours ago…

I was in East Village successfully K-closing a girl. I was working out logistics to go to her place, when all of a sudden some drunk idiot started yelling “She’s hot man. Ask her how much. If you’re not buying it, let me.”

“She’s not for sale.”
“Too rich for your blood.”
“Waddaya talking about?! She’s paying me!”
“Stay classy, man.”

Now, normally this wouldn’t be a problem if I’d picked her up in my normal organic manner, but this time she was just a drunk girl in a bar who needed lovin, and after just a five minutes of talking, I pulled her away from her friends.

She was already hesitating. That sucker really ramped up her ASD. Since I was going for the kill, I hadn’t even tried taking her number.

Externalities can ruin tight game. This was a scenario when a little beta reassurance would’ve gone a long way to averting a disastrous ASD (anti-slut defense) cooldown.

How do you suggest I could have handled it, when an outsider pushes her ASD threshold in the no-go zone?

There are occasionally times that call for a little white knighting. By “a little”, I mean “barely perceptible”. If you have made out with a girl and she’s halfway toward your door when a drunk idiot makes a scene, you do yourself a favor by intervening on behalf of her lonely girl honor. Just don’t get carried away; white knighting that is too obvious can quickly escalate an awkward scene to a brawl, and turn off girls who shirk from possessive, mate guarding men. See suggested replies above.


Email #3, from “Don”.

Why do younger girls love guys who do drugs??

All girls have a part of them, smaller in some larger in others, that loves a rebel.

running high school game basically just – social proof, body language and talents.

Don’t forget boldness.

word recently got out I was after a gram of ecstasy for friday and bitches are reeling in with curiosity by the hour

Explains why so many chicks dig black culture

The girls I knew who rolled were all hardcore club chicks and flighty artsy types. Ecstasy let them babble even longer and more incoherently than they normally did, and because it’s a touchy-feely drug it served the dual purpose of relaxing their ASD.

Just be careful with drug game; it’s highly self-selective, (meaning, you will mostly screen for girls who like drugs), and relying on it will close off tons of options with “high on life” girls.


Email #4, from “Cy”.

Hey CH, Cy here- young player (17 turning 18 soon) with term goals to get my body and my game into shape. Got a question about game, but first a bit of background to help understanding.

-Born and live abroad as a US citizen in a somewhat backwards Mediterranean country, with yearly visits to US.
-Trying to get into western-style game.
-This is both the opposite of what is done here (the local guys’ game) and harder to do since I live in a “capital city” with pop. only around 800,000.
-Small size is made worse by the fact that parents and relatives all live here. Think an everyone-knows-everyone type of place, amplified by 10.

Welcome to Southern Europe. At least the women are beautiful.

Any advice on how to practice game? For example I see the cold approach as a major part of the game, but it is difficult to implement it in my environment.

Assuming you speak the native language, I really don’t think there’s much difference in how the essential game principles are applied throughout Europe. Yeah, some country’s girls may require more provider beta game, and some more sexy alpha game, but these are tactical differences. The core attitude you must project — outcome independence and charming devilry — remains the same no matter where you go.

Your question is very broad, so it’s tough for me to give you any specific advice. Southern Euro men direct approach women by nature, so maybe you want to stand out in contrast and do more indirect approaches? Use your background as a springboard for conversation. You’re an American citizen living abroad who knows her city pretty well, but some things about the place still surprise you; surely that’s enough material right there to pique her curiosity?


Email #5, from “anonymous”.

I could use some advice.  College, supposedly some of the best years of your life.  My friends and I are all seniors.  I figure that since it’s the last year, we must go all out whenever the opportunity presents itself.  That means one night stands, keggers, bars and unforgettable stories that we can laugh about when we’re old and grey.  I’ve been having a variety of 7/10+ one night stands with these women on a consistent basis. I must say that while I am growing more cold and aloof (which may or may not be such a bad thing), my confidence has transcended to new heights.  It’s insane how confidence can improve almost all areas of your life and how quickly your confidence can be swept away.

That’s why it’s important to learn the art of overconfidence, which is confidence that doesn’t require external validation to continue functioning.

All of my close friends (who I go out with) are busy at part time jobs and settling for sub par relationships.  None of them have any desire to go out and when they do, they grab a quick drink and leave.  When I game, I mostly go lone wolf but I’ve always got my friends there to joke, have a good time and drink with permitting I don’t get laid.  Last weekend, my friends bailed and I went out alone on both nights.  I had an awful time and I’ve sort of been in a funk as of the moment.  I’m not sure how to snap out of it.  I know that I may have to find new friends to go out with but since I’m a senior everyone’s social circles are like armored fortresses.  I have a feeling that making a new set of ambitious friends isn’t as easy as it was freshman year.  Ideally, I’d like to be self sufficient and be able to game + have a good time no matter the people or circumstances.  How do I work up to that?  I’d appreciate your two cents.

Making new acquaintances isn’t as hard as it seems, and once you have acquaintances, a few friends will follow. If you can cold approach attractive girls for sex, you can cold approach anyone for meaningless banter. But more to your question, I’d say stop going out to bars/clubs/parties for now. Try new venues. Whenever I’m in similar circumstances, I make it a mission to find events to attend where I know showing up alone won’t look out of place. Festivals, fairs, art galleries, beer tastings, auto shows, farmers markets, malls. Gain a bit of knowledge about the event you’re attending so you have something to talk about with girls. College must be loaded with social events that you could crash without feeling self-conscious.

Hell, you don’t even need events. Go to the park and fly a kite shaped like two boobs. You’ll get noticed. Bars on weeknights are lone wolf hunting grounds. Any girl you meet on a weeknight out alone is looking for dick, that much is guaranteed.


Email #6, from “T”.

Beta trying to develop game here. I logged back on to OkCupid for the first time in several months and I messaged a solid 7 I had briefly talked to months ago.

Me – “you’re still here? are the men on this site that bad?”

Her shit test – “haha yes they are. what makes you different?”

My idea for a response is – “I’m not going to qualify myself with an answer. That’s what.”


Be careful with this shit test. When a girl asks a seemingly harmless question like “what makes you different?” there is an implied recognition of her status as the one being courted. You don’t want to validate this girl’s self-perception as the higher value entity. Your reply is no good; not because it validates her, but because it’s meaning is too translucent. It sounds quasi-autistic, the way you’re describing in lurid detail the unspoken dynamic of this exchange. It also sounds defensive, like you can see her bitchiness and rejection coming a mile away and you intend to tell her in no uncertain terms how you will evade it.

No girl wants your thought process so obviously laid bare, especially when said thoughts are of the preemptively butthurt variety. The alpha reply is one that undermines her self-regarding premise playfully, without betraying the mentality of a man who expects the worst from women. Alpha males don’t expect the worst from women, though they may be more aware than other men of the depravities women can entertain, because alphas are often the recipients of women’s most generous gifts.

GIRL: “what makes you different?”


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A proud Chateau acolyte writes,

After reading the Toddler game article I decided to try some little kid game.

One of my plates [ed: “plates” = concurrent lovers or would-be lovers] was going to Africa for a month doing non-ebola humanitarian work so I decided to give her a gift before she left. Using crayons I drew two crude stick figures and wrote “u R cool hAV fuN iN AfriKA” accompanied by “I stayed up past my bed time making this for you.

She started beaming and even teared up a little. She told me that she would nail it to the door of her hut so that she could always see it when she was home.

Total cost to me was less than $1.

If you must mate guard, this is the cool alpha male way to do it. Low investment, high humor, and a physical anchor that will remind her of you every day she’s in that grass hut. If Toddler Game can defeat mandingo-hunting EatPraySlut “””humanitarian work”””, it is powerful game indeed. Its power rests in the attitude it conveys to women: Charming aloofness and happy recklessness. However, reader, I would caution you to consider the worst possibility, and to have an escape route ready should you sense on her return that your woman did what comes naturally to women who spend months overseas with noble savages.

NB: Alpha males rarely spend more than a few bucks on gifts for their girls. If you spend $$$ on jewelry, etc for a girl, you are beta and you fail.


Update: A comment from Count Rockula who applied a dollop of CH game to his text convo with a coy girl.

Here’s a classic Heartiste reply that saved me… little background here. I had been banging this 23 year old who I met one night at a party. She took me to another party one night, where I met one of her friends, a hot blonde 8, who I shared eyes with on several occasions. Chatted her up, found out she was moving in a month to another state, but never got her number. Few weeks later, I see her out at a bar. Got her number (“Oh man, I was hoping you would ask me for it!”) and texted her a few days later…
She knew I was banging her friend, and I knew I would at some point in the interaction have to deal with a shit test regarding that. Thanks to the words from an older blog posted here, I passed with flying colors…

After some prelim banter…

Me: So What night we meeting for a drink? Wednesday or Thursday?

Her: Is that allowed ? Aren’t you like dating Sara?

Me: Yeah, Sara and I hang out sometimes, but no, I’m not dating anyone

Me: But hey, if you have a hang up about that it’s cool, I get it

Her: Haha no, I don’t wanna hang out

Me: lol

…..15 minutes later…

Her: I’m out of work at 8 Wednesday. Planned on seeing Kayla

Her: Time is getting slim because my flights Saturday

Her: Meet at (X Venue) Friday night?

This blog and its community are life changers…keep it up everyone.

That was beautiful, man. A master class of text game from beginning to end. There is a time for “lol”, and that was it. Poetry.

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Reader Email #1

I started going out with someone I met. Not exclusively, but she blew away the competition in every way. Her actions at that time were great …hot sex and her pretty much admitting to “being crazy for” me. Somewhere in there, I got the oneitis and flipped from alpha to beta (and yes, I know I fucked up).

Be very wary of girls who say stuff like “I’m crazy for you” soon after you and her have started dating. These are the kind of BPD drama whores who love the idea of passionate love and in their excitement will try to prematurely generate intense feelings, instead of patiently allowing any feelings to emerge organically. Because as fast as these chicks turn it on, they also can turn it off. One day, you’ll catch her texting another dude, and you’ll wonder “What happened to that whole part about you being crazy for me?”.

Actions speak louder than words, and she started to distance herself. She wanted to “talk to me in person about something” on Friday, and I knew what was next.

Whether intentional or evolutionarily directed, the “crazy for you” drama queen act will trap a lot of less experienced men into buying the schtick and responding in kind with florid beta male paeans. It can be a massive shit test, iow.

Just as I figured though, she gave me the “things are not the same and don’t feel right, I’m sorry text” on the evening we were going to have a face to face instead of meeting tell me (I know women are non-confrontational and I figured this would happen).

I need a timeline. How soon after you met her were you discussing “face to face” meetings to clear the air?

I responded with a “I know”. I then erased every trace from my phone. Forty five minutes later, she send me the “I wish you only the best” text. I do not respond. Erase. Delete.

“lol” would have been funnier, but a non-response is the next best thing.

If you would be so kind, here’s what I need help with, .

I thought about it. I read an entire set of your articles. Two things dawned on me.

1) She may be shit testing me or she may have lost interest as she rides the cock carousel. She could have not wished me luck at all…end of story.

It’s not a shit test. She lost interest, but she’s trying to weasel you into some sort of beta orbiter role who lavishes her with attention when she needs it.

2) After three nights, it bothered me that I was such a stupid idiot for going beta on this broad. I tend to speak my mind, and having not responded to her last text made me feel like I didn’t show my indifference to her goodbye. AFC.

You don’t “show” indifference to a break-up text by demanding explanation or playing a game of gotcha. You show indifference by being indifferent. WWAAWAHD? What would an alpha with a harem do? He wouldn’t bother responding, or he would text her something that made him laugh, like a birthday cat emoji.

I read your articles. And on the third night, I finally sent her a one word text in retort to her “wish you only the best” text. I responded with, “gay”.

Ok. This would’ve been better right after her text. Waiting three days to text “gay” makes it seem like you needed the time to craft the perfect three letter comeback. The “wait a day or two before texting a girl back” is not a universal rule. It’s not even much of an individual rule. Too many exceptions.

Whereas before she would text me back hours later, she texted me back within minutes asking me “what?”

You gave her a tiny hit of dopamine.

Part of me wants to leave it at that. Fish or cut bait. Erase. Delete. Move on.


The greater part of me wants to seduce and destroy. It would be much more fun, fulfilling, and make me feel better (yes I know I have ego and revenge issues). Am I crazy to think this is still an option? If so, I thought about waiting another 3-4 days and responding with the “never mind, I thought you were different” reply. Would you please advise?

Regardless of your advice and opinion. Thanks again for the articles. It has helped me much.

Again, VISUALIZE ALPHA. If you had your fill of cute babes, how would you handle this one girl? You’d fuck with her, that’s what you’d do. “wut” or “8====D~~~”. Followed by a curt statement that you’ll be at [X] on [X] if she’s down to fuck. You’ll act like the earlier unsavory business between you and her never even happened. You are the Whamster, whamming her hamster.


Reader Email #2 is from “High School Narcissist”.

Hi. I’ve been following your blog for a little while, and I’m a sophomore in high school. I don’t know that you’ll respond to me since I’m under 18, but I’ll give it a go.

It’s never too soon to make girls swoon.

There’s another girl in my grade, and she’s basically the queen among girls. A lot hotter than everyone else, everyone knows her, etc.

The thing is she seems to be a complete narcissist. She’s very confident, she will give no one time, and is obsessed with herself. I assume this comes with the popularity.

It also comes with the beauty. But let’s not get caught up in an arid cause-effect polemic.

She makes herself unapproachable, and it shows, as every guy is a beta orbiter around her. Never seen a move made on her, just pedestalization.

Great. More opportunity for you to shine.

So I’m curious, how do I exploit this? I’m an average guy in terms of attractiveness. I’ve not ever communicated with her before by the way.

This is high school, a time of your life when the girls will never be riper. At this age and growing awareness of their power over boys, it’s also never a worse time to be a lovesick betaboy. Be mean to make the bitches keen. Shock her into curiosity about you. Say something she would never expect. “Hey could you help me with my homework? You look kind of nerdy.”

Get the idea? Summon your inner exuberantly reckless asshole. One last thing. Be prepared to get backtalk. She’s gonna be startled and peeved (in a good way), and she’ll lash out to test your state control. If you know it’s coming, you’ll stay composed. She might be mad that you called her a nerd. You reply, “Hey, nothing wrong with being a nerd. Don’t hate yourself.”

Enjoy this freshest of poon while you have it, because it’s all downhill from high school!


Reader Email #3

What’s the deal with all these bitches who work at “non-profits”?  5-10 years ago bitches were all in public relations.  Now it’s the non profits.

What the hell is a non-profit? Another charitable tax hiding place for rich dudes which allows him to increase power and influence?

Yup. Also, luxury self-actualization. Don’t worry, after the collapse the nonprofits will be wiped from the face of the earth. Fundraising results correlate directly with economic conditions.

Working at a nonprofit allows SWPL women to feel good about themselves. But, more germane, nonprofits appeal to women because they are perceived as happy work which avoids the sink-or-swim ladder-climbing hothouse of for-profit industry. Women are constitutionally averse to competition in ways that men aren’t.


Reader Email #4

I am looking for some advice. Recently single, I was in a LTR that ended up being long distance for school. Took a few weeks to get over it, and happy to say I’m moving on. Here’s my situation: My friend is traveling with her friend she met abroad. (2 women, one foreign) I hung out with them before they left, at a pub then a party one night, then the beach a few days later. Explaining their trip they invited me to join them in vegas, and I was like hell yeah, no reason not to.

Not long after at the party, the foreign girl made her interest in me known, and we fooled around a bit, she said she wanted to slow down if I was coming to vegas, although she was still all over me in public and private.

Ignore girls when they say stuff like “I want to slow down if…”. In the final analysis, you will either get the bang or not depending on your seduction acumen. And if you’re good, she’ll forget all about that promise she made to herself.

At the beach she was more discrete but still all over me in private. I’m meeting them in a week, and I’m looking for some advice on how to proceed. I’d call myself a greater beta…working on improvement but I do tend to let my emotions get the better of me. I have no problem attracting women, but I backslide.

I’m going into this intending to have a crazy week partying in vegas but I can’t lie and say I don’t hope I have a fling with this girl before she heads back overseas.

Pre-bang trips are risky. They are pregnant with expectation. She knows you know this trip is an excuse for sex. She knows you’ll be expecting it. She’ll be expecting it (on a less conspicuous level). All these unspoken assumptions will activate her anti-slut defense.

She has a bit of a bitchy nature to her, but I think its her version of trying to be playful, or its a result of her accent. At the beach I got a snarky vibe from her but when we were alone she jumped on me.

That’s a good sign. If it were the reverse — she was all over you in public but a frigid bitch in private — I’d be worried.

Basic plan is to be super social with everyone I meet (my natural strength anyways) and pay her some but not a lot of attention. I’m mostly afraid of coming off coupley when all i really want is to sleep with her as much as possible. I’m ok to cuddle, but only after about an hour of vegas sex.

When expectations and concomitant ASD are high, comfort and a little bit of preemptive disqualification are welcome. Don’t be cutesy (i.e., “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, amirite?”), but don’t be totally stand-offish either. You want to physically escalate toward sex while at the same time letting her know in a nuanced manner that you don’t need her approval in the form of sex, even on a trip where sex is frontmost on both your minds.

Your basic strategy is sound. Don’t initiate the Groping Protocol as soon as you set off on the trip. Be chill, act like you’re really anticipating the parties and gambling and poolsides, tease her to get her out of the discomfort zone (she’ll be in it again because the sex cloud will have been hanging over her for the past week), and after a settling-in period isolate her for deeper rapport. Even the sluttiest of sluts need a man’s imprimatur of emotional investment.

I don’t know how you’ve worked out the hotel situation, but it’s better to pop that sex cherry before awkward consensus meetings over who sleeps where begin. If that’s not possible, you’ll have to cajole her with some plausible excuse to come into your room.


Reader Email #5 is from Changer89.

Can you write a post analyzing Tracy Chapman’s song ‘Fast Car’ from red pill/economically right-wing/racial realism perspective?

Black lesbian warbles tragically about leaving for the white suburb on the hill with her shiftless thug lover as realization of depressing ghetto fate slowly dawns on her. See also: Any halfway smart black person surrounded by imbeciles.


Reader Email #6

Ever thought about ways in which not to be a sulking beta if the woman denies you sex? freeze outs are hard, so I have an easy alternative. Tickle game – where you throw her onto the bed against her will and tickle the shit out of her. Then when she says she’s had enough keep going until you’re satisfied. Yeah it’s immature and childish but so are the funniest of men and women can’t resist not being taken seriously.. thoughts?

Good stuff. Even better: Tickle the giggles out of her, then get up and say “Ok, that’s enough. I gotta go” and leave her in a state of breathless confusion. This is the long-game strategy; you’re denying her sex now for hotter, more devoted, sex later.


Reader Email #7

Can i get some advice on campus life? I plan to move onto residence for my final year of university. I’m moving to a new city, so how do I go about making new friends, and get myself into a social crowd?

I have a fairly good physique, and try to dress well, but still I lack confidence and am bad at conversation/small talk.

Rule #1: Stay away from losers. There’ll be a temptation to join their nonjudgmental cliques because they’ll take the pressure off you having to socially perform. Resist it. If you get sucked into a loser social circle, it’ll be ten times harder to infiltrate a winner social circle that’ll grant access to prime poosy.

Rule #2: If your conversational skills are weak, or you’re a natural introvert, cultivate a “laconic rebel” personality. That means, don’t overtalk (to avoid social miscues). Train yourself in the art of the drive-by quip. Once you’ve gotten a fair shake by the winners, you can move on from “laconic rebel” to “aloof asshole who doesn’t care what people think of him”. Then you get the girls.


Reader Email #8

Long time reader, first time emailer.  I’ve found myself in a bit of a conundrum with one of the latest girls that I’ve been seeing.  My concern is that I’m the one to initiate nearly all of our dates.  On one hand, I feel that the “leader mentality” should mean that it doesn’t matter that I’m the one initiating every date.  On the other hand, I don’t want to come across as the one that’s chasing her.  She agrees to the date about 90% of the time.  When she doesn’t, sometimes she gives a good excuse; other times, she is very terse.  We are not in a relationship, but have been seeing each other casually for several months.  Should I be concerned that I’m being strung along, or should I just keep pushing?  Feel free to use this message, but please don’t use my name.  Thanks!

While foot-dragging or a lack of initiative by a girl can be a cause for concern, if she’s banging you I wouldn’t worry about it. Girls vote with their vaj. Some girls simply prefer a man who orders their lives for them.

So, my question to you is, are you fucking her? I’ll assume you are, because “several months” in non-beta orbiter land means “several months of fucking”. If you aren’t… abandon ship!

A girl who hasn’t put out is de facto pulling strings. She is in the command seat of power. She has all the hand. If you feel like you’re chasing a girl you haven’t yet banged, you probably are. And you won’t get that bang until you’ve gone some lengths to flip the script and get her to chase you a bit.

But if she’s already given her most valuable asset to you, then the chasing you feel manipulated into doing may just be the expression of her natural feminine reticence against being pumped and dumped. She needs more signs of your commitment before she’ll permit the vulnerability of love to strike down her last bulwark of defense. Only you can tell which advice pertains.

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Email #1: “Steve” sincerely asks,

Important question:

Can sluts fall in love?

Absolutely. But they can also fall out of love. And they do both more easily than non-sluts.

Sluts are a strange amalgam of genetic, environmental, and “gray area” influences. Hormones are a good example of a gray area somewhere between the environment and genes which shapes character. While I’ve no hard evidence, I’d bet that sluts release less oxytocin than normal women do during lovemaking, which means the hard slut is less likely to emotionally bond when she’s spermally bonded.


Email #2: A reader has a question about needy ex-girlfriends.

My question is regarding ‘the rules of contact with your ex after a breakup’.

My gf and I recently split after 1 year (her idea) due to her feeling that our relationship had run its course and wasn’t going to progress. Despite the fact that I disagreed, I had no choice but to respect her wishes and let her go. I’m back to my single-guy-Alpha ways but she continues to contact me from time to time (weeknight texts ‘just thinking about you and wanted to say hi’ or late Sat night “we just got our hair done up for the night!”)

What in the fuck is one supposed to do w that? Half of my friends who I trust for counsel think I should refrain from replying or contacting her and just move on, re-fill my bullpen, etc. The other half are advising that I continue to pursue her, text w her, try to be around her, treat her like a human/friend etc. I’m curious what your experiences have taught you in similar situations.

Any kind of unsolicited contact from an ex-girlfriend, no matter how trivial or weird, is proof that she still has feelings for you. This sounds like a break-up she never really wanted, but considered a last ditch effort to bring you to heel. Or it was prodded by subterfuge from her jealous girl friends.

(When a girl breaks up after falling out of love, you will rarely, if ever, hear from her again unless necessity dictates.)

Whatever advice you’re getting, it’s nothing compared to the knowledge that you are sitting in the driver’s seat. You have hand. Lots of it. Use it like an acromegalic pimp.

She wants the lines of communication open, because she still has hope you’ll give her what she needs. Reply, but only a fraction of the time she texts. Initially, keep it friendly and frivolous, but don’t allow yourself to get boxed into a “friends forever?” interrogation. If she starts down that road, first, know she doesn’t really mean it, and second, amputate that rotten limb of conversation promptly. “You’re so funny” is a reply that will light a fire under her hamster’s ass. Anytime she sends you one of those “just thinking about you” texts, reply “aw that’s sweet.” If she texts, “just got our hair done”, reply, “thanks! i needed to know this.”

The idea is that you are reinforcing your relative higher value by repeatedly and (some would say) sadistically mocking her eagerness to keep you in her life.

Allow for a few weeks of this empty banter, then maneuver her into your fornication zone with a disarming suggestion: “If you need to talk, you can swing by tomorrow (tonight’s no good)”. Through the expert deployment of ambiguous promises, you want her to believe you are warming to the idea of a committed, conventional long-term relationship. The goal is increasing perceptions of your “commitment attainability”, and that will require some feints to the beta side. Convinced of your good intentions, you can extract sexual goodies in this manner for another six months or so, before the process begins anew.


Email #3: “Chris” writes,

You’ve changed my life massively for the better, but now I’m not sure how to handle a girl I actually want.
She’s involved in the stuff I like (strength sports) and is overtly sexual, so she was off to a good start.  I chose to ignore a personal red flag (she trains horses). I set up for us to go somewhere fun and eat after, but the morning of, she cancels on me. I responded along the lines of that’s fine, but next time she has to make the plans, and so I gave up and deleted her contact info.

Never say “that’s fine” when a girl flakes at the last minute. That’s rewarding bad behavior. “lol” would have been a far superior response.

Knowing how these things work, I checked tinder and saw she was active right before that, most likely made plans with someone of higher status.

Your inner game is weak. You’re making a lot of assumptions that, even if they were proved true, do you no good to dwell on.

I DO actually like her and would like to, at the very least, bed someone who commonly complains on twitter that most guys aren’t man enough for her.

Any girls who “””brags””” in this way on a social media platform is very insecure about her ability to land an alpha male, and LOVES assholes. I can already tell by the jive of your email that you’re a niceguy, and that won’t do for girls of her nature. You need to turn your dick dial to “bring da movies“.

Should I write her off entirely and forget it since attractive 19 year olds are plentiful anyway? Or is there a decent way back in? My birthday is soon if that would afford an opportunity, though anything to do with that seems too friendly to restart on.

Birthday smirthday. You think a girl you aren’t fucking cares about your birthday? Turn hard dick on her, swirl her mental fallopian grooves, and marinate for a while. Right now, she’s dreaming a rough rider will saddle up and shove her face in the hay.


Email #4: “Andrew” (not WK) is lost in a land of maneaters.

How do you differentiate between genuine interest and her showing interest in hopes of your attention/making you an orbiter?

Do you ever flirt about sex with her? If not, she sees you as Castrate the friendly ghost.

A girl I met a couple months ago has been showing a pretty solid amount of interest lately. Touches me, punches me when I tease, calls me cute, plays with my hair, etc. I follow everything in your blog, I follow a lot of Rollo’s advice, Roosh, etc. The reason I’m asking is, she’ll initiate a text, I’ll reply with something relevant, and she will reply hours later, but usually she never replies at all. This has happened about 3 times now and since then I’ve completely avoided texting to minimize the risk of desperation ruining my shit in person.

Beta bait. She’s threw out the chum (her texts), you replied on cue (and with relevancy no less!), she released you back to the ocean of dullboys.

Do you have a website you check when you’re bored, just to see if there is anything new? And when there isn’t, you just exit? I feel like I’m her “website”. She texts me, finds nothing interesting, and doesn’t respond. She trying to make me an orbiter or something?

She’s probably fishing for a reason to be attracted to you, but all she’s pulling up are old tires. This sounds less like a beta orbiter invitation than a girl who began sexually curious but suffered a dearth of confirmatory evidence. You can bet other guys are in her life, which drives down the value of your communication. You’re in sort of a limbo; not a love interest, not a desexualized beta buddy. Like the emailer above, I think you need to go the Full Asshole to reinvigorate her waning interest.


Email #5: “Christian”, a reader with some fame cred asks,

Love the site. I check it every day. Opened my eyes to game and the red pill mentality. Thank you x10000000

Anyways, I have a job in media where I am in the public light. Small market gig but I’m on TV here and some people recognize me when I go out. I want to know your thoughts on how that could change my options when it comes to getting laid.

It’ll increase them. That’ll be $300.

I tend to avoid online dating sites for these reasons (don’t want to be recognized). I also tend to avoid bringing up my career w girls i meet unless asked.

This is a smart ploy. Fame’s pull on women is most powerful when it’s discovered rather than disclosed. Plus, you’ll have a particular need to filter out golddiggers. Fame is so powerful a tingle generator it’s best to be faux embarrassed about it.

I feel like my career is holding me back from achieving the life I want w women. I’m insecure about being recognized.

Being recognized is not your problem. Managing post-coital expectations is your problem.

I relish when I’m out of town and gaming chicks because I can be as free w my words and actions without that fear.

Any words of advice for those that have similar issues?

A lot of male public figures have mistresses and active sex lives. Yet you only hear about a small percentage of them blowing up the media each year. How do the rest manage their harems? Most women are so thrilled to be with a famous guy they’ll be very careful about rocking the boat. If this is your quandary, you’ll need to be more forcefully up front about what you expect from women, and what they can expect from you. Allowing drama to flourish just for the fun of it is a luxury you may not be able to afford.

If you want girls to “love you for who you are” instead of for the fame, well, the platitude princess can help you with that. She leaves quarters under pillows!


Email #6: Austin uncovers a new, potent form of shit test.

I’ve got a question about some game.  I feel like recently I’ve come across a (potential) shit test that I’m not familiar with, it usually goes something like

Her: You remind me of my ex boyfriend (playfully)

I like to go bold here

Me: So you’re saying I’m extremely handsome

usually puts them a little off or they pick some other quality, but I’m not sure where to go from here, thanks Gents

Context is crucial. If this shit test is delivered playfully, it means “oh no I’m falling for one of these guys again”. Your reply was OK, nothing really self-sabotaging about it, but I would have said something else. (It would feel a little gay to compliment a girl’s ex on his looks, however indirectly.) Where you go from there depends on her reaction. If she picks another quality, tell her you feel objectified, and (with a hammy smile) inform her that her flirting is horrible, and she needs to step up her game for a special snowflake like yourself.

The only real concern you should have with passing shit tests is, well, passing them. You don’t have to smash it to smithereens. A “D” is a passing grade. All you need to do is avoid getting defensive or overly emotionally engaged — e.g., “I remind you of your ex?! How so??” — and you’ll be fine.

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