This reader has a problem many masters of the muff have encountered. Unless you’re a psychopath, in which case you need not bother yourself to read further.
I am in a pickle and I seek advice from like-minded individuals. Any response is appreciated!
I have been seeing this girl for about five months now. Met her through a mutual friend after ingesting tons of red pill and game articles. The first time we met we played tennis with a couple of other people. I thought she was cute and had decent athletic ability, but she definitely wasn’t super hot in my opinion. I’d rate her a 6.5. Great body, long blonde hair, but her face is a little beat.
Anyways throughout the time I’ve known her I’ve gamed her VERY WELL and she’s responded better than I could have hoped. In short, she’s smitten. She treats me like a king and is probably the sweetest girl I’ve ever dated. She also craves sex from me like its the last time she’ll ever get it. Regularly tells me I’m the best she’s ever had etc.
My problem is this: Although I enjoy her company, the way she treats me, and her enthusiasm for my dick, I am not super physically attracted to her. The face really throws me off. I have successfully parried a number of her attempts to secure commitment from me, but I see things coming to a head relatively soon. Is the player cursed with being a heartbreaker?
If you haven’t broken a heart, you haven’t loved.
I don’t want to settle down, but I feel awful hurting her.
This is a normal reaction for non-psychopaths. The guilt you feel is a primal recognition of women’s shorter reproductive windows and of the harm your unserious dalliance is doing to her SMV. Naturally, you must do what is best for you, and it helps to consider that women will act in their own best interests as well when they have romantic leverage to exploit.
It seems to me that the manosphere (especially returnofkings) often mentions the lack of true feminine American women. I have definitely found one, but I still am not satisfied. I want it all. I want a beautiful face, a rock hard body, and a subservient nature. Are my standards too high? Am I an asshole? Am I foolish to think I can have it better? Thank you in advance for any insight.
The dissonance you are experiencing is caused by your laboring under an inverted female attractiveness pyramid. Femininity is desirable, but it’s almost nothing if there’s no beauty. Beauty is necessary if not sufficient for a man to fall in love with a woman. This is true for all men, though you may be tempted to think otherwise by observing men’s choices or their claimed level of contentment with this or that subpar woman. But it makes sense that there would be a disconnect between what men actually desire and what they settle for, because limited sexual market options are very hard for either sex to swallow, so justifications and rationalizations for settling are the norm rather than the exception.
All this is to say you aren’t an asshole nor are you foolish, if you have good reason to believe you can do better. The discomfort you feel is the core reactor of your mental apparatus — your id — warning you that life is short and you can plow higher quality poon, so why are you wasting it on throwaways? A very cynical view of love can be summed thus:
Maxim #53: Love is when you’ve been granted a temporary reprieve from wondering if you can do better.
As for the particulars of the heart you’re about to dash against the tidal rocks, there are three ways to do the dirty deed dirt cheap.
1. Be direct.
“This isn’t going to work anymore for me. You’re a great woman but I have to move on to find what I really want.”
Just pull that band-aid off. Leave no doubt or hope behind.
2. Cut off all contact.
No phone calls, texts, social media, anything. She’ll eventually take the hint. Upside: You don’t have to see her blubbering face. Downside: You have to live with the thought of confusion and pain tearing her apart for a couple of months.
“I’ve been dating this other girl.” “I’m married.” “I’m gay.” “I’m sterile.” “I have a rap sheet.”
Scratch that last one. It’s likely to backfire.
She’s a man-eater baby. So help this reader escape her maw.
I have been reading this site and Rollo’s for while now. And I am learning so much. I am 50 and I have met a solid 9 26YO and we have been together for about two months. She was fun and funny and beautiful Certifiable, She works as a promotional model and has done a couple of magazines. Sex has been awesome. About a few weeks ago things started to go sideways. More attitude. Less available. More shit tests so I got to the point where I told her she needed to respect me otherwise I am gone. Well it did not work.
Ultimatums are TNT. Handle with care. They don’t work as often as “tough alpha guy” advocates think they do. If there is any power differential favoring the girl, no matter how small, your ultimatum will be perceived as the last gasp of a butthurt ego, and fail.
She agreed completely and then went back to the same thing.
So then a few days ago I went silent. Only responding to her texts and only briefly. It seemed to work.
Tacit ultimatums >>> spoken ultimatums.
She sent me dirty photos. And kept initiating. I stayed uninterested.
This was your opportunity to gently mock her. “Did you know your left boob is a little smaller?”
Then yesterday she kind of gives me all of these reasons why she has been unavailable. I waited a while and then sent her a text just saying. “I am really not feeling it….” Then she sent me an indignant wat? and then a dirty pic.
She sounds kind of stupid. I say that because girls with low intelligence tend to lean on the display of their bodies to regain lost relationship hand. Smarter girls will go the verbal route first.
I said nice and then went silent again. At the end of the day she sends me long blow up text about four paragraphs about I need to talk to her and let her know where I am at with our relationship and she has other options. Which she does, she is really hot. No apologies. But she admits that she is a bitch.
When a man “admits” he’s an asshole, he usually isn’t. When a girl admits she’s a bitch, she usually is.
So then I wait a while and send her a text back saying call me…she sends back “I have the vagina you call me…”
“Does your vagina have ears?”
I sent a lol and I called her.
Big mistake. She tossed up a hoop. you jumped through it like a circus poodle.
Figuring she had enough and was ready to behave. We had a good conversation and set a date to get together tonight for some playtime.
We texted today with some light bantering, and I kept it short and aloof. Then in the afternoon she sends a slightly insulting text out of the blue.
Too much back and forth. Dude, the brutal truth… the impression I’m getting, and I’m sure the readers here are getting, is that you’re a marionette dancing on the ends of her strings.
I went dark again. Have not communicated since. And we are supposed to see each other tonight.
What would you masters do? I could stay dark and blow off the date?
Text and say you have to cancel, something came up. Leave it at that. Don’t text again.
Meet up with her and not do anything, hoping that me going dark was punishment for her bad behavior? Should I punish her for this?
You’re stuck on a reward-punishment hamster wheel and it’s sucking the fun out of your time with her. Thinking about how to “punish” a girl is not the attitude of a take-it-or-leave-it outcome independent alpha male. You want this chick badly, and it’s making your head spin. You need time away to clear your head and to clear hers.
Meet up with her and tell her she is acting like a brat and I am walking away until she shapes up?
You know what’s funny about ultimatums? Half the time they’re exactly what women want to pry from you. She’s in control, and you’re being piloted like a piper cub. You’re becoming predictable, and once she tires of batting you around like a cat toy she will go full sayonara. Bet on it.
I know I started this relationship from a beta frame, does that mean all is lost?
No. What it means is that you’re still in a beta frame, just under an alternate configuration.
Please help a brother out. Look at this like a remedial tutoring session.
I gave you advice above. Icy silence. Two in the kitty. Restored mentality of abundance. Keep in mind that the large age difference means you’ll have to be more detached from her than you could afford if you were closer in age. Once she’s groomed to appreciate your menu of options (true or not), you can throw out feelers to see if she’d be into a longer-term commitment. But that time isn’t now, under these conditions.
It’s been a while since this email was delivered. Let us know what transpired.
A younger reader has a question about Snatchchat.
I’m new to game, 20 years old, going to a community college in Colorado. I’ve had enough natural game to get by throughout the years, but this blog has opened my eyes. Your text game principles are gold, and have helped me a lot. Now I’ll get to the point. There’s a new craze I’ve noticed recently, and that’s snapchat. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, you take a picture, write a caption, and send it to someone and they can only view it for ten seconds till it’s gone forever. Could you do a post on snapchat game perhaps? Some tips would be useful. I’ve gotten nudes through it before (which sucks because you can’t save them ). I have a beta friend who snapchats the gayest stuff like “beautiful day out.” Any tips on how to be alpha on snap chat?
Snapchat is really not a very good platform for gaming girls. It’s designed with female needs and desires in mind, and that’s why it’s suddenly a “craze”. Women drive crazes. (It takes a crazy to know a craze.) The main benefit to girls (particularly borderline personality disorder attention whores) is that the spontaneity of Snapchat allows them to better judge a man’s grace under pressure, and the privacy feature (such as it is) encourages them to flirt more openly than they would otherwise, possibly leading less experienced men astray who are apt to misconstrue playfulness for sexual interest.
But like all female-catered consumer products (99% of total commerce) there are ways to hack the stated or adopted purposes of such social lubrication mediums to exploit them to your benefit. Snatchchat is no exception.
First, like the reader says, rule number one is DON’T BE BETA. If you’re snapchatting “beautiful day out” with pictures of a field, you have already lost. Incel is your future.
Second, have fun with it. If you treat Snapchat less like a dating app and more like a neg facilitator, you’ll be able to springboard from it to a more intimate platform, like flesh and blood real life. Examples:
If she sends you a follow-up poon pic, snapchat back a pic of a crying baby. Tease the female prerogative outta her.
Or, snapchat a photo of your unopened robe, with the caption “here comes a dick pic”. Wait a while (to build delicious tension), ignore all her protestations, and then send this:
You get the idea. Whatever you do, don’t get caught in an endless snapchat loop. Because while she’s snapchatting you with one hand, her mouth is servicing the cock of another man.