Reader Mailbag: Own Goal Edition

1. A reader wants to know if he blew himself out of the water.

Background
Her 18 (7)
Me late 20’s (7.5)

We have been studying alone together for the past few weeks both at school and her parents house. (Non dorm college). She send various signs of interest (ex: when working on her computer I accidently clicked on the show background button and it showed a picture of her in a bikini, not her normal background). On the other hand she always mentions her boyfriend who dorms in a different state. I got annoyed with it and showed her a pic of my gf (8.5). we are by Boston

Text follow later that day

Me: let’s work on blah blah next week
Me: also I’m really offended you thought I was middle eastern
Her: my mom thought you were middle eastern too (wide eye smiley)
Me: I’m getting you both glasses!
Me: show your mom this (pic of my European passport) [ed: nicely timed DHV]
Her: I will
Her: were you born there?
Me: let’s talk about it over coffee or something, easier than texting
Her: true
*i never text back

Was it weak to ask via text when I knew I would see her next week?

Mistake to show gf pic and ask to hang out same day? To forward for one young and innocent?

Mistake to send pic of passport? Trying to hard to win her approval? What would you have done instead?

To your first question: Was it weak to ask over text instead of in person? Yes, you could make a case for lameness, particularly since you and her have been, and would continue to be, in the same room together for a few weeks. But this mistake is just a yellow flag, not an own goal.

To your second question: It’s only a mistake to mention your girlfriend if it’s clear to your intended target you’re doing so in reaction to a perceived slight or disappointment. In your case, it sounds like that’s what happened. Luckily, your girlfriend is hot, so your study partner’s “preselected by quality women” algorithmic alpha male detector fired off. I would say this move was a wash in terms of any advantage or disadvantage it gave you.

To your third question: There’s no such thing as being “too forward” with a girl as long as your forward motion is executed with finesse. Recall Poon Commandment XIII:

Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little.

If you’re going to make a pick-up mistake, make a mistake while moving toward sex, instead of away from sex.

To your fourth and fifth questions: No, and no. You had an open to DHV with the passport without sounding try-hard.

To your sixth question: I would have texted her again after her last reply. If there is any part of this exchange where you own-goaled, it’s the part when you didn’t follow-up your tacit promise to get her out for coffee. The study room dynamic is sapping the romantic energy between you and her because it’s going on too long without forward progress. You were on the right track with your thought to move her into a different context. After she replied “true”, all you had to write back was “k, X place at X time.”

Ya know, there is seductive aloofness that entrances girls, and there is the overwrought aloofness that men who are suddenly afraid of success will resort to as a mechanism for avoiding the pain of a rejection that heretofore only exists in their heads.

tl;dr Bust a move.

***

2. A reader has sprog on the nog.

So I’ve ‘taken the red pill’, learnt game, agree with you on everything about not getting married etc.

However, I can’t seem to shake my desire to have children. To me, it seems like one of the most worthwhile things you do can with a life is to have kids. Maybe it’s because my parents did an incredible job raising my siblings and I, but I just feel like it’s a legacy I want to create.

How do you come to terms with this (assuming you share the same view)? Is marriage ESSENTIAL for having, and properly raising children? Do you believe you can do so without marriage (seen as I adamantly want to avoid it)? Or do you just not share my same desire?

Is marriage essential for having children? 😆 😆 😆 What do you think this is, 1950s America? You can be in prison and still pop out four upstanding citizens if you have a way with words and the low impulse control that chicks lurv.

But maybe you’re the kind of would-be father who actually wants to be around his kids, and impart his wisdom so that they may grow up proud and strong and become net tax payers to support the kids of the kinds of fathers and mothers who don’t much care about imparting wisdom to their womb spewage. Maybe you had the misfortune of being genetically cursed with a K-selected psychology in an increasingly r-selected world.

r-selected world
r-selected world
r-selected world girl
(li-ving in an r-selected world
we are li-ving in an r-selected world)

If kid quality is your Job 1, then yeah get married. It’s good for the children. Marry young, marry hot, marry tight. And marry chaste. (Not you. Her.) But if marriage is not your bag (and who could blame you?), you can get the same child-raising, K-assuaging, father-amazing benefits by having kids within a committed, cohabiting relationship. It works for Sweden. Well, it works for Sweden’s historical native people, at any rate. There’s nothing magical about signing on the dotted line that will alter the properties of your character, other than the disincentive magic of divorce theft. But if that’s what you need to keep your lover or yourself in line, perhaps she’s not the one you should be considering for the mother of your children.

***

3. Reader can’t believe the Pavlovian call-response of modern women.

I think this world is coming to an end. I was chatting to this girl on a dating site. I opened her by being polite and respectful, because she was from a southern country and I thought she was traditional.

She basically brushed me off by telling me I’m ugly.

Next day I make another profile and find her. My profile had nothing special at all, my picture was even uglier than the previous one. First words I open her with : you’re fat. Guess what? She was all nice and flirty with me.

Wtf is going on? Has feminism even reached the corners of all sounthern latin countries now? This is ridiculous.

I’m not a fan of the “insult as substitute for fine-tuned neg” game, but even I’m occasionally amazed at how often a shot of straight-up asshole works on women. If you’re ever stuck on a recalcitrant Westernized girl, and it’s going nowhere fast, just call her fat. It beats doing the same beta suck-up routine and expecting different results.

***

4. A reader has ideas in his head that might be counter-productive.

I would love your feedback on this-

Some brief background- I’m a recovering beta (with the soul of an alpha but duped by societal pressures, etc. to being a beta)- I was in a relationship for 11 years (was married for 7 of those years). For job purposes I moved to Paris France while my wife stayed in the US, with the plan being for her to move here after a year. She cheated on me during that year, and we broke up soon after she moved here (she still had to spend a year here as she had already committed work-wise to doing it).

Absence makes the heart grow fonder… up to a point. Extended absence makes the heart go wander. Especially if that heart is desired by a lot of other hearts in the sexual market.

This was 2.5 years ago, I was a different man then than I am now. I’m better off because of the divorce (which I never had the balls to do myself then). I’m going to visit home in a couple of weeks. Part of me wants to track this guy down (I know what city he lives in and a few people he knows, and presumably could do it) and beat the shit out of him, just to prove something about my manhood.

Whenever you feel this feel, just remember that your ex-wife represented one-half of the parties involved in the adultery. Beating the shit out of this dude, if it gets back to her, will only enable her to avoid blame for her own part in her disloyalty.

Part of the reason is that if he is still with my ex-wife (I feel like they may be- all I know is he visited her in Europe at least once while she was there for a year after we split) I just want her to know that I did that- not with any attempt or interest to win her back or anything.

I really recommend against this. You want to get back at your cheating whore of a whore’s whore ex-wife? Date a hotter babe and make sure the ex sees you together with her. That will impact her psyche a thousand times more than downwind news that you brawled with her boyfriend.

Do you think this is worth the effort- (tracking down and beating the shit out of the guy who fucked my ex-wife while I was with her) – in what it means to me in being a mostly alpha guy? Or is it more alpha for me to live my life and forget about them?

A good way to judge your frame of mind in these situations is to ask yourself, “If my ex was suddenly aroused by my display of alpha after trouncing the guy she cheated with while we were together, and she made it clear she wanted me back, would I gladly accept the opportunity?” If you answer “yes”, then you don’t have the right (aka alpha) frame of mind.

More generally this is a question I struggle with in my life at the moment. I know that I do care about how people remember me- but to what extent should I expend energy towards affecting the memories of me from people in my past, compared to spending energy on my bright future in general?

I think you already know the answer to your question.

***

5. This reader has a request for analysis of his text game.

Got a girl’s number on the street through using the “put your number in my phone” routine I saw on your site. Waited four days, and texted her to meet up, and tried to operate as I thought Chateau would advocate. Was wondering if you could evaluate my textual interaction to get her out. [Names changed to protect the devious.]

Monday., April 22, 4:08pm
Me: Hey Katie, we should go out this week. -Brad from X last Thursday

4:30pm
Her: Alright, so you definitely caught me off guard, and I’m not going to lie I was pretty flattered. I’m sorry, I just didn’t get a chance to tell you that I have a boyfriend.

This was a golden opportunity to use any number of “I have a boyfriend” neutralizing replies.

7:27pm
Her: I really am sorry, I do admire your confidence

Tuesday, April 23 11:17am
Me: U seem like an independent person who can hang with who u want. Let’s meet up tomorrow.

The problem with waiting a day to respond to a girl who dropped an “IHAB” on you is that you risk coming off like a guy who got blindsided by her revelation and needed a day to compose himself. You shoulda replied soon after. That said, this is a decent rescue of a text exchange heading south out of the gate.

11:42am
Her: But you hardly know me not to mention I think that wouldn’t be the greatest idea seeing as that would be shady on my part.

12:33pm
Her: And what could you get out of going out with a girl who has a boyfriend?

The good: She texted you back immediately, and texted twice in a row. There’s some interest.

The bad: She mentioned the boyfriend again. She might not be bluffing.

The opportunity: When a girl mentions her boyfriend a bit too frequently, it sometimes is a tell that she harbors illicit fantasies and is leaning on the “boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend” chant to strengthen her resolve in the face of temptation, or to excuse herself of any responsibility should she HAPPEN to succumb to another man’s seductive charm. You know, the ol’ “But I told him I had a boyfriend, so anything that happens between us will be his fault” hamster rationalization.

1:23pm
Me: I won’t judge u, Katie. (Particular bar) tomorrow at 8

I don’t like this response. Too straight and by the book. You’re playing into her frame, i.e., you’re tacitly agreeing with her that it would be shady for her to meet with you. Better to have replied playfully, For example:

Her:  And what could you get out of going out with a girl who has a boyfriend?

You: A free drink.

1:29pm
Her: Well I’m not sure what this has to do with my independence but I can’t meet you especially when I don’t even know you, Brad.

Ok, she’s interested. She’s begging for you to give her the flimsy excuse she needs to come out and see you.

3:21pm
Me: U know u can, Katie, and should. Come get to know me tomorrow. Don’t cheat yourself.

Game by assertion? I like the “don’t cheat yourself” line, but this reply is veering dangerously into begging territory. You’re totally in chasing mode. I dunno. It’s not my style. Anyone else want to chime in here? YaReally? I’ll give you points for boldness and directness, though. That may be enough.

Wednesday April 24, 12:02am
Her: I just don’t even know what to say anymore to be honest

As long as a girl is still replying, the game is still on.

11:52am
Me: Say you’ll see me tonight 😉

This kind of earnest charm works better face to face, where you can soften the sappy edge with a smirk. In text, you risk sounding desperate, even with the ameliorating smilie.

12:31pm
Her: Do girls just not say no to you very often or something?

She’s stiiiiiiillllll replying.

2:24pm
Me: Other girls have nothing to do with me and u

Ok, so you’re basically running battering ram game. Nothing wrong with that. It can work well on girls who had an initial reservoir of romantic interest.

2:28pm
I don’t even know your full name, and my name is spelled “Katy” by the way haha.

Did you misspell her name on purpose the whole time? If so, kudos, sir.

4:13pm
Me: Duly noted, Katy. I’ll be sure to give u my last name right when we meet up tonight

This is becoming too insistent. You need more cocky playfulness. All I see is you chasing 100% and her being chased 100%. For instance, there was an opportunity here to fuck around with the “wrong name” conversational subthread. Instead of “Duly noted, Katy”, you could have replied “Duly noted, Qaaytee”.

7:43pm
Me: U on way, katy?

I know the Chateau recommends Zero Punctuation, but honestly it looks kind of stupid when a man uses “U” in place of “you”.

7:45pm
Her: No I’m not haha I’m studying I don’t believe I told you I was going

Aaaand…. failure to launch.

7:47pm
Me: Gay

The “gay” response is better at the start of trouble, not ten days later.

7:50pm
Her: Not gay it’s a Wednesday night

She’s just using you for shits and giggles now. Abandon ship.

My next move was to abandon her, but if she contacts me, wait a long time to respond and somehow fit in the “because I don’t want to get you pregnant” line. Your opinion?

“if she contacts me”. That “if” is a big if. You’re thinking twelve chess moves ahead when she hasn’t even moved her pawn E2 to E4. There might be a way to turn this around and somehow convince her to go out with you, but I think you’ll have an easier time recruiting a new girl for a date. And it sounds like that kind of perspective is what you need.

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Save This Man!

A reader with an urgent family emergency has turned to the Chateau for help.

I have been reading your site for many years now and thank you for all of the wisdom you have shared. Your blog has improved my life in many ways, and I humbly ask your advice now to convince my brother that he is about to make a terrible mistake.

My brother is the pride of the family – went to a top school undergrad, graduated med school last year, and is now on his way to becoming a surgeon. He is a well-adjusted, mature man who has had a couple of long term relationships in the past and possesses above average intellect, physical, and social skills.

For the past 6 months he has been dating an unemployed divorcee who is 8 years older (he’s 28, she’s 36). This summer he will be moving across the country for his next rotation and they have decided that she will also move and live together with him. She has no social network in the region and even if she finds a job will be relying almost entirely on him financially, emotionally, etc. Not surprisingly she has been pushing him for a ring and a baby, and he seems to be happily going along with this.

My parents and extended family are distraught. We have all tried to reason with him but to no avail. You and your esteemed commentators can all see the train wreck that will occur if my cousin decides to marry and start a family with this woman.

My question to you is this: how can I talk him out of it?

Nervously Poolside,
Dr. No

This reader’s brother needs an intervention. A strong, powergut propelled, three pats on the back intervention. The best teachable moments are those which sock the nascent quisling in the face with a blistering infographic:

The graph is via GLPiggy. As you can see, more women have sex before age 25, but after that the dynamic flips and it’s men who enjoy the edge in sexual pleasure. The why is simple: women are most desirable when young. Men are most desirable when older, and continue staying desirable well into middle age. The underlying why is even simpler: Female attractiveness is almost entirely a function of their physical beauty. Male attractiveness is a function of multiple causes, including status, power, charm, looks and social dominance.

This is CH 101, aka Life 101, aka Feminist Soul Implosion 101.

So tell your brother it makes no sense to marry a woman eight years older than himself when he has the SMV goods RIGHT NOW to land a hotter, tighter, younger babe without divorce baggage, said baggage which itself is strong evidence she will divorce again. And on top of that, his SMV will only increase for another ten, perhaps twenty years, while hers, if she is the typical woman following the usual senescence track, will have a date with the wall of sexual expiration just about the time his appeal is maxing out.

That’s a recipe for marital failure. It makes no sense for him to hitch his cart to this gimp horse, unless….

she’s hot.

I mean, balls tingling, cock leaping hot.

You left this out of your description of her. Be honest, how hot is she? A hard 10? And not just for her age? Because if that’s the case, (however unlikely), many would find it difficult to dissuade him from experiencing the kind of glorious transcendental passion that most men can only crave from the sidelines of their gloomy masturbatoria.

You see, a man falls in love with a woman’s beauty. He does not fall in love with her smarts, her job, her credentials, her family connections, her employability, her future time orientation, or her ability to stand against the patriarchy or avoid the pitfalls of divorce.

Her beauty inspires his devotion, his lust, his love, his tenderness, his protectiveness, his delirium. Once inspired, he begins the journey of discovering all those other little things about her that seem now to him so powerfully alluring. Her beauty is the buttering ram that slides open doors to aspects of her subtler being that are joyously and post hoc-ally embraced by him as motivating reasons for his ardor.

Save this man, yes.

But save him from what? Himself? Or your family’s concern with appearances?

I ask with all sincerity. Because you need to be sure that you will act in your brother’s best interest. If he’s a man of solid self-possession who happens to be truly, deeply, crazily in love, leave him be. If he’s a beta who is clinging to what he imagines is a lifeline from a fate of grinding loneliness, then by all means get in his face.

Show him this blog. Let him sponge up the message that is both necessarily hateful and nourishing.

Slyly introduce finer specimens of femaledom into his life. Let him smell their intoxicating aroma.

Employ the carrot and the stick, the coax and the shame. In time, if he is not completely lost to the forces of self-doubt so preciously cultivated by our feminism glorified society, he will find his footing.

Preferably in the bed of a 22 year old stripper.

UPDATE

An astute commenter has noted that the reader requesting advice referred to the man in question as his brother, and then as his cousin. This may indeed be a troll email.

Nevertheless, the message stands. Trolls can often serve as useful springboards to discuss larger matters which do impact the lives of many men.

UPDATE 2

From original emailer,

My sincere gratitude for your post.

The cousin is a typo, he is my brother and this is a very real situation.

The woman in question is not hot at all, though not ugly – clearly post wall looking to latch on to a provider. 5 at best.

We are acting in his best interest as we can all see what will happen a few years down the road as your readers have already noted. He is more the latter than the former in terms of self possession vs beta – our working theory is that he fell headlong into this because he was in a new city working brutal hours without close friends around.

I am staging an intervention imminently and will keep you posted. The red pill will be hard for him to swallow but its better to go down swinging.

Just inform him that there are hot 21 year old women he can meet just about anywhere who would swoon for his surgeon swagger. Once he knows that, tell him he needs game. Direct him to the resources at this blog. Rudimentary game is all it should take for a whole world of young, exquisite pussy to blossom before his eyes. It sounds like the beta is strong in this fellow, so his shift in attitude from a scarcity mentality to an abundance mentality will need to be swift and sure. Good news: the shift will fully reflect his real opportunity.

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Thawing An Icy Wife

A reader reaches out to the Chateau Lordship,

I could use your help. Actually, this is probably more in Athol’s domain, but his answer wouldn’t be as entertaining as yours and he might be kind of judgmental.

More judgmental than this blog? Impossible.

Two years ago I caught my wife of four years having an affair. At the time, I knew nothing of game… I was a Beta schlub. It was my broken-hearted “what do I do now” that led me to your website, which of course changed my life. I forgot about my self-pity and hit the gym. Then I bought some new clothes. I learned to play the guitar. Now when my wife mentions her former lover (she has contact with him through her job several times a year) the contempt for him is evident in her voice. Things between us are far, far better than I expected they would be at this point. But… (you knew there was a but, didn’t you?) there’s still something not quite right. Our sex is frequent but only “pretty good.” She is always willing to “put out,” but it’s, well, putting out. She doesn’t have the enthusiasm for my cock that she had when we were first together.

Sounds suspiciously like sedative sex — that is, the obligatory, unexciting sex that married women offer as Damegeld to their gelded provider husbands during the three weeks the wives aren’t ovulating. The purpose of this dreary sex is not to sate her desire but to soothe her husband’s anxiety and keep his cashmoney coming. It’s the “give the dog a bone” life history strategy.

I probably would have been happy with our sex life, but for one thing: I got a girlfriend.

:applause: 😎

And the sex with my girlfriend makes me realize just what is lacking in the sex with my wife.

Self-reporting surveys (wink, wink GSSers, u know I luv youze no-homo-ly) which purport to show that married men get more sex than single men miss two very important confounding factors: the quality of that sex, and the variety of sex partners. Single men may have less regular sex than married men, but when the (alpha) single men do have sex, it’s volcanic. And a new adventure every time. Because no matter how much you love your wife, there will come a time when her snatch loses its sheen. This is the curse and blessing of being a (non-manboobed) man: never satisfied, always conquering. Or dreaming about conquering.

My GF, unlike my wife, is very enthusiastic. She swallows my cock like she’s starving. She fucks me like it’s the last fuck she’s ever going to get.

You are the alpha male to your girlfriend, and the beta male to your wife. More proof, as if any more was needed, that beta maleness and alpha maleness are largely contextual, and that marriage inexorably betatizes even the most alpha of men.

Maybe I should just be happy.

Take the honey and fun.

Have ‘duty sex’ with my wife, and fuck my girlfriend for fun.

Does that sound so bad? Traditionally, there was a tacit social expectation that husbands would avail themselves of sexual outlets in the downward spiraling years of their wive’s attractiveness, but that they would remain loyal and duty-bound to their wives regardless.

But it occurs to me that a little preselection and dread might ignite a fire in my wife’s pussy.

Like a boss.

I’m trying to figure out how to plant the idea in my wife’s mind that I might be having an affair.

You won’t need to plant any ideas of your threatening omnipresent desirability if your affair has been going on long enough. Even given a total lack of hard evidence, most wives have spidey-sense that guides them to the correct conclusion about cheating husbands. She will smell it on you, notice it in your gait, and hear it in the renewed firmness… of your voice. Not to mention, a husband getting his sack drained on the side generally doesn’t have much left over to service his contemptibly familiar wife. Ask yourself first if it’s *your* apathy that’s the cause of your uninspired marital sex life. If it is, and you sincerely want to reinvigorate your marriage, then you should think about dumping the mistress.

But if your wife is the one dragging her feet into the bedroom, then a program of dread will help enliven her lust. Dread is supposed to be a feint, a rope-a-dope. It’s not supposed to be a flare for a team of divorce lawyers. If you are actually balls deep in an affair, drawing attention to your second life is not what I would call a smart marital move. Not in this day and age.

Of course, since I am actually having an affair, I have to walk a fine line.

Yours is a strange scenario. Most men I know who are cheating on their lovers don’t need to go the extra mile to provoke anxiety and doubt about their fidelity. It’s all they can do to keep their affairs under wraps, and their primary partners in the dark. The dread is self-evident.

I want to give her enough of a suspicion to light a fire under her, but not so much that she hires a private investigator or starts hacking my email accounts. I want her to feel a bit of suspicion, without her actually getting enough evidence to confirm the suspicion.

Ok, I’ll give you some advice. But know that you’re flirting with distaster. Have you forgotten that there’s a third party involved? Your mistress might not stay wisely silent. Women have a devious tendency to “oopsie, I said something I shouldn’t have.” You can open the can of dreadworms but just make sure to cover your tracks. Your wife and your lover should not know anything important about each other, and should never be in the same zip code together. You wanna deal with bunny broilers?

What say you? Is this something that can be done? Or should I just be happy with wifely “duty sex” and wild girlfriend sex?

Readers will note that for purposes of discussion, I assumed this email was sincere. There is certainly a strong whiff of the troll about it, but it’s useful as a lesson for other men who are reading who may be in similar circumstance and aren’t lying about it.

Here’s my advice:

1. Track your wife’s ovulation cycle. (Won’t work if she’s on the Pill.)

You can learn a few things by doing this. Is her sex drive revved up with you during that glorious one week when her egg sojourns and she craves the cock? Then the rest of the time she might just feel anxious about her marriage, but at least she still feels raw attraction for you. You should consider that it’s a lack of your beta male reassurance that’s responsible for her withdrawal.

Worse, is she colder than usual during her ovulation? Then her attraction is waning, and she’s probably thinking about other men. You need to pump up the alpha.

2. If her sexual iciness is a result of her weakening attraction rather than her strengthening anxiety, then a dollop of dread will do the trick. “Accidentally” leave an email or IM account open, so that she will stumble across an anonymous message which you will hand craft to send from a dummy email account to sound like it’s from a woman who’s flirting with you, but who hasn’t yet received a reply or encouragement from you. If you’re worried about her hiring an investigator, then preempt her doubt. Don’t wait for your wife to confront you about the message. When you get home, exclaim, “Oh look at that, I left my email open. I bet you got an eyeful honey! Yep, you did. Any suggestions for dealing with a co-worker who’s got the hots for me? This chick won’t take no for an answer.”

3. The objective is to maintain your innocence while stoking your wife’s insecurity. This means the hints must be extremely subtle, (unless your wife is clinically retarded). A fan favorite is calling her from a busy place that has a lot of young women giggling in the background.

4. Don’t bother entangling your real mistress in this subterfuge. Too risky. But if you decide you want to taunt divorce theft, try an indentation of a condom on your wallet, sans condom. Or a tucked-away business card from your mistress (strictly business, you see). Or you can go the full Don Draper and take your wife to a social event where you know your mistress will be in attendance. Flaunt your wife, flirt with your mistress across trays of hor d’oeuvres. There’s just something very manfully satisfying about manipulating a quasi-harem in this way and cheating discovery.

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Reader Mailbag: Goosing The Gunt

Email #1

What is the alpha way to suggest that your gf should watch her weight bc she has been gaining weight… I don’t like the passive agressive ideas [listed here].

Actually, some of those passive aggressive methods for getting a girlfriend to lose weight — like buying her clothes a size too small, or signing her up for yoga class under the pretense of “spiritually connecting” — are effective. So it’s a mistake to assume that alpha males never wield the carving knife of passive aggressiveness when doing so would be clearly personally advantageous. However, if you want to go the direct (i.e., lunkhead) route, then I offer the following suggestions:

– Brazenly flirt with thinner women while in her company. Women are hypercompetitive and hypersensitive to their declining beauty, and won’t fail to notice how much hotter are the girls who have grabbed your attention.

– Watch Girls with her and casually remark that you’re worried she’s starting to resemble Lena Dunham.

– Jab a roll of her fat and, with cocked eyebrow, mutter “hm” as if you’re inspecting a backed-up drain.

– Tell her in no uncertain terms that you will leave her if she gets fat. Stare at her stomach while saying this.

– Does she have a fat cat? Pick it up with its huge belly protruding, and tell her you guess it’s true how owners look like their pets.

– Ask if she’s auditioning for The Biggest Loser.

– Start calling her “my little honey boo boo”. If that doesn’t work, call her “my little honey boo boo’s mommy”.

– One morning, when you wake up, look at her naked body and say “What happened to you?!”

– Lose your hard-on during sex.

– Direct her to this blog. In particular, the “hungry hungry hippos” category.

CH will not be held responsible for any chubby girlfriend suicides that result from use of any of the above suggestions.

***

Email #2

 I live with my girlfriend who has no job. Should I pay for her or is that beta?

Depends how hot she is.

***

Email #3

Since Red Pill ingestion I’ve noticed more subtle shots at my confidence/power from the people around me, as if they recognize (sense?) my alphaness and want to test it. This isn’t just shit tests from women (dates, co-workers), but men as well. Some of these people I’ve known for a while, others it’s my first or second interaction. Clever remarks, wise cracks, etc. They’re all over the place. I brush them off, certainly providing reactions (or inaction) a lesser man (blue piller) wouldn’t understand, and alas we all move forward because I didn’t give a fuck.

Because being unplugged has only been my reality for a few months (and I’m still learning), I wonder if I’m actually being challenged OR if I’m just more aware of the social dynamics/interactions/behaviors of people? Or is it both?

Both. You’re noticing things you never did before, and people are reacting to you in ways they didn’t before. People prefer their beta acquaintances stay predictably beta. A beta who makes a run for alpha disturbs the peace and introduces chaos to the comforting established order. Expect a transitional period from beta to alpha where you have to endure inordinate challenges to your maneuver for the throne. These challenges will be more intense and more frequent the less congruent your behavior seems and the quicker you push yourself into a new identity. This is the most difficult period on the way to becoming a better man, because you will be tempted to fall back on old habits to assuage feelings and avoid burning envy from natural competitors. Whatever you do, stay the course. People will fall in line if by your actions you demand their acquiescence.

***

Email #4

I’m on my way home from an interview of sorts. Just before I turn the corner to head to my apartment I see a bar that I’ve had a few good nights at, but haven’t frequented in a while, so I walk in. The place is dead. Except for one solid 8 sitting alone in the middle of the room.

*I’ll skip a bunch of boring details here, but here are some (perhaps) not unimportant facts: We’ve both been in the city for about 5 moths now, I’m from X, she’s from Y*

We engage in conversation. An hour and a half passes.

But this isn’t your run-of-the-mill-casual-conversation-with-a-hottie. It’s deliberate. Calculated. Border-line cold, yet mostly consistent. There are some unspoken acknowledgements: she’s hot, and I know it, and she knows that I know it. I’m good with girls, and she knows it, and I know that she knows it. Sounds like a bit of a Mexican stand-off, eh?

Early in the conversation she had [intentionally, undoubtedly] revealed some information: “…yeah, I keep wasting my time on OK Cupid with these lawyers, all they want to do is argue…” [Translation: I’M SINGLE!!!]

[My brain: What the fuck is an 8 doing on OK Cupid? Is she lying? Is this beta bait to see how quickly I’ll make a move? Then again.. she is at a bar all by herself on a Wed night. How often do you see that out of an 8?]

This would have been a good opportunity for a neg. Ex: “I heard only lovable losers use OkCupid. What’s your excuse?”

The conversation continued slowly and deliberately, but not without intrigue. Our momentum died a few times.

An hour and a half of asexual chit chat is too long. You should have been turning up the heat sooner. Otherwise, you risk momentum-killing dead spots in the conversation.

When it did, I turned to the girl next to me and started chatting in attempt to arouse some jealously and get her to re-engage. She never did.

That’s because you never got her invested in you. You’re just another talkative schlub from her point of view.

The guy next to her tried to strike up a conversation a few times but she quickly blew him off. Each time I re-engaged she quickly re-joined our former conversation.

She likes you enough to talk, but the raw attraction is missing. She’s hoping an attraction will find fertile ground.

And that’s how it went. For a little over an hour.

By the end of the night, I felt pretty confident that I had her in the bag:

Ask yourself, do you sound like a man with an outcome independent attitude that chicks dig?

we had kept up a solid conversation, she had deflected attention from other guys, the vibe was there, she was just playing coy by not re-engaging me (or so I thought)…

Me: *standing up from the bar and putting my coat on* “Hey, I’ve gotta get outta here [pause for a few seconds, look a little distracted]… but before I do, put your number in my phone” *I slide my phone in front of her, on the bar and nonchalantly look away*

Never ask for a number at the end of the night. Go for the number when indicators of interest are there, get it, then just continue the convo as if the number exchange was the most natural thing in the world to have done.

This always works for me. It’s almost guaranteed to at least get the number close.

Her: *snicker* *shaking her head* “No, sorry, that’s now how it works, let’s just shake hands and say goodnight”

I swear I didn’t read ahead in your email. Looks like I predicted her lack of interest correctly. A decent teasing reply to this quasi-rejection would have been, “Shake your hand? Not so fast, you perv!”

[Honestly, my frame is a little shaken by this response. I didn’t expect this at all. Even when I’m dealing with very hot girls, after this much investment (read: an hour of conversation) I almost always get an enthusiastic number close]

I’m going to guess that’s because you typically hit on girls who aren’t quite as hot as this one. The hotter the girl, the tighter your game needs to be.

Me: [surprised] “Oh yeah? gonna keep trying your luck with OK Cupid huh?”

Experts detect a subtle note of butthurtness.

Her: “Yeah, guess so, I’ve just got way too much going on right now. We should just be friends anyway.”

She’s enjoying her sadistic cruelty.

Me: [re-gaining frame] “Ha, don’t be so goddamn presumptuous, maybe that’s all I wanted to be in the first place…” *smirk*

What she’s thinking: “Yeah, right.”

Her: “Oh yeah?… well…. ok then….” *she nonchalantly types her number in my phone*

[Note:] I never did get her name this whole time. Of course she didn’t put it in my phone, so I have no idea what it is.

Me: “Cool, see ya” *I leave*

Did you try to call the number?

===========================

And that’s where I’m at. I maintained a pretty solid conversation with this girl the whole time. There were some definite attraction signals, but I’m dealing with a ball-busting bitch here.

The interaction did not end in my favor. After such a lukewarm number close, how do I re-open and get back in? What maximizes my chances at turning the tables? Advice is appreciated.

Again, did you call her number to check if it was real? You should have dialed it right then after she punched it in. If the number is real, call it and ask for the anonymous girl who pretended she wanted to be friends. If you do manage to get her on a date (long shot), go for the sexual escalation quickly, because I think there is a high risk here she will promptly try to box you in as an LJBF orbiter to guide her around the city as she prowls for alpha thug cock.

Look, she’s out on a Wednesday night alone, so you know she’s interested in hooking up. You know that she knows you’re a bit too smooth for your own good. So she’s got dual ASD bitch shields up: the first is her shield against being perceived a weeknight ho. The second is her shield against the predations of players. She needed you to deactivate her shields, and from what I can tell, you didn’t quite pull it off. You should have played the innocent “me, a player? no way” card, and pre-empted her Wednesday night friend request with one of your own, and THEN proceeded to sexualize the non-verbal aspect of your time together. That contrast is catnip to these kinds of women who WANT IT but don’t want to be perceived as wanting it.

***

Email #5

A lot of my army buddies brag about how the military uniform makes ladies swoon for them and gives them a chance to DHV easily with war stories and such. Do you think a military uniform makes for a good game prop?

Day game, yes. Night game, no. You’ll look like a tool if you’re decked out in uniform at an urban nightclub. But during the day, there could be any number of reasons why you’d be wearing a military uniform, and that will intrigue girls.

***

Email #6

Women do so much on their birthday it’s ridiculous…Women be pisces….still celebrating on Aries time…..27 acting like its their sweet 16…why do you think that is?

A pedestal atop a preexisting pedestal? What woman would turn that down?

***

Email #7

I very new to game, and am learning the art in a rather interesting venue; an engineering university where there are 7 men to every 3 women.

Luckily, I’ve figured out that most of the men aren’t really competition because most of them are seriously hardcore pussy worshiping betas and omegas who don’t even appear on the women’s radar.

That said I only just tried my first approach (using game) last week, which was a big eyeopener as pretty much everything I’ve learned here worked.

Sadly I botched things by getting too enthusiastic later on and trying too hard (figures), but I learned a lot from it and those mistakes will not be made again.

That said there was one thing I observed during my first pursuit:

The (girl’s) Herd.

Like the adorable lemmings they are. Girls survive on social cues. They need the protection and guidance of the herd. This is probably because their vaginas and brains are not on speaking terms.

She mentioned that she had a man-hating roomie,

Amanda Marcotte, is that you?

who (along with other friends I’m sure) probably helped persuade her that I was no good.

Maybe. But I wouldn’t put too much stock in that explanation. A lot of times, the disapproval of a girl buddy will only make a girl more attracted to the badboy who swoops her.

Now, I’m not saying that this is what convinced her to stop texting and start ignoring me, I know I failed a LOT of shit tests and so forth, but I am wondering, how do you deal with the female herd?

Its difficult for me to understand because its not something easily interacted with… or is it? help would be much appreciated!

Befriend the friends. This is Game 101. People are more apt to welcome you into the tribe if you make them feel like you are truly interested in their lives. When I get a convenient opportunity to meet a girl’s friends, I usually take it, because I know that meeting them and winning them over is a fast track to raising my social status. A short cut, if you will.

Also, if you have any advice for dealing with women in a environment with a High male/female ratio that would be much appreciated!

There is one advantage that a high male/female social environment offers, and that is the ability to elevate your value by doing the opposite of all the men around you. High M/F ratios usually mean the men are try-hard desperadoes, because they will feel the pressure of their competition more keenly. That means, a lot of bumbling beta moves, mule-headed insecure paper alpha hysterics, and pushy horndogs. It’s a simple matter to triangulate off that social dynamic by saying to a girl, “I bet you love all these hopeless guys throwing themselves at girls. Look, here comes one now. He likes you, it’s so obvious he can barely contain his excitement.”

Having said that, it is of course, much better to game in a low M/F ratio environment if you are a man. A disproportionate number of women = a disproportionate number of loose women.

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How To Keep A Stripper Enamored Of You

A reader asks,

Hey there, thanks for your wisdom, was a self deluded beta, and since I took the red pill been trying and getting to fake an alphatude. Just gamed 2 strippers, slept with both, one got jelous, but now I am sleeping with a very hot stripper, I think Im doing ok, but how do I treat her to keep me on her head and ruin her for other guys? Im still dating other women, but I want to keep this one, she is a very high 8 maybe a 9.

so in other words how can I keep laying this girl for a long time?

Treat her like absolute garbage. Serious, yo. I’ve yet to meet or hear of a stripper who did not keep coming back to a certified asshole for more of his special lessons in love. Personally, I have treated strippers I was fucking with more disdain and cruelty than any other woman… and they were hooked.

Consider strippers to represent the far right tail of a bell curve of women distributed by the strength of their desire for assholes, jerks and douchebags. At the far left, you have your good Christian girls with low sex drives, low impulsivity, and an inordinate fear of dying alone, childless. These women will occasionally tingle when they watch Edward get all broody in a Twilight movie, but in real life they will stick with their plush beta providers and relieve their itch for edgier guys in pulp romance novels aka female porn.

In the middle, you have most women. They like their moments of tender intimacy punctuated with Discovery Channel sex, have dated a number of badboys, have rejected a number of niceguys, like to be lied to, have had their hearts broken by men they still love, pine for that musician who always showed up late to dates and once “forgot” to invite her to his after show party, have had multiple roaring orgasms with men who told them to shut the fuck up, once caught a lover they thought “was the one” in flagrante delicto, and sort of like it when a guy doesn’t answer their texts right away, but at the end of the day (and near the end of their prime fertility years) they will settle down with a caring, dependable beta provider who remembers birthdays and anniversaries and then pop out a couple of kids with him. 1% of the kids will not be the beta’s.

At the right side of the asshole-loving curve, you find your girls who get off on being psychologically tormented by aloof men who are always one foot in, one foot out in any relationship. These are the girls who actually *seek out* the idiosyncratic charms of assholes and deadbeats and cheaters, and who, in fact, will quickly get bored with men who aren’t sufficiently dismissive of them. Niceguys have no chance with these girls. Many of these women — 20-30% of the total eligible female population — have daddy issues or a history of dating assholes or a penchant for wildly swinging from one alpha male to the next, but there are plenty of exceptions. For instance, I once had a fling with a stripper who lived with her married parents in apparent familial harmony. They often made her lunches to take to “work”, (although I doubted she told them what line of work she was in).

The further right on the curve you go, the more abuse the women crave, culminating in those women who secretly get off being hit by their lovers, and always race back to them for post-beatdown sex. In this dreadfully toxic pool swim your Rihannas and that chick who married the killer of her twin sister.

And waaaaay out there on the right tail is that stripper you, dear reader, are trying to keep around for the long haul.

Good luck!

But I can see why you have asked for help. Chewy, Pillsbury herblings with frump wives comfortably wrapped in the security blankets of boring marriages will balk, but the hottest babes are disproportionately found at the right tail of the asshole-loving curve. This is why learning the Way of the Jerk is a life path most men who have been shown the light strive to follow.

If you were to superimpose the female asshole-loving curve on the male crazy chick-loving curve, you would find that the female curve sits well to the right of the male curve. Or, men are less interested in dating the analogue of the asshole that women love. What men *are* interested in dating are hot chicks, and, regrettably, many of those hot chicks are just the kinds of women who swoon for JERKBOY CHARISMA.

Back to your quandary.

First, you are doing things right by your stripper girl. Dating two strippers at once is just the sort of drama they need to keep feeling that lovin’ feeling. It’s practically an asshole badge stitched to your jacket that says “Vaginas may now open for business”.

Second, forget about keeping this girl for the long haul. The moment you act like you’re trying to keep her around, she will lose interest and fly the coop. If you keep her on tenterhooks, in a constant state of dread, and only very VERY rarely hit her up with some beta reassurance game (“Here ya go, babe, you’ve had a tough week, so I got you this cheese stick”), you have a shot to enjoy her ripe but strangely discolored fruit for a couple of years that thousands of other men have seen. Or until she ODs.

Third, beware any stinky beta bait she will toss at you. Strippers have exquisitely fine-tuned senses for the slightest whiff of betatude. If you cave, even a little, she’s gone. Strippers will do things like ask you to light a cig for them, and if you comply, she’s eyeing up the dude across the room. They will try to dump their problems on you (and strippers have a lot of problems), but all it will take is one minute of indulging her whining and she’ll have an excuse to bail on your next night together faster than you can say “Shit, I shoulda told her to shut the fuck up instead”.

Fourth, supply her. Got blow? Then you got stripper blowing you for as long as your supply is steady.

Fifth, mark your calendar. If you can keep a stripper in your orbit for a year, it’s time to update your strategy. Strippers rarely last in relationships longer than a couple of years. Most stripper “relationships” are kaput after a few months. They also date mostly beady-eyed, beetle-browed assholes or the manager of their club. Because of this, many strippers subconsciously desire, after enough time getting burned by sexy thugs, a bit of the old beta provider comfort food. If you have strung her along for a year, consider doing something nice for her. Now don’t go crazy! A simple favor to drive her home from work, or a small purchase such as a T-shirt which displays the terraced outline of her fake tits, or perhaps a home-cooked meal of mac and cheese, are all it takes to warm the shriveled, dark heart pumping life to her glorious orifice.

Sixth, be Ok with her line of work. Don’t try to “rescue” strippers. It never works. They don’t want to be rescued. If you try, she will misconstrue that as a desire for a deeper, more loving, more committed relationship, and she will run. So if the thought of greasy men ogling your lover’s vagina hole gives you the willies, I suggest you go to book clubs to meet girls.

I hope this helps. Ideally, you would bang the shit out of a parade of hot strippers until they have hit the wall (age 25), leaving them used up husks of former human females, and then settle down in domestic bliss with a good girl who never had a monster bug STD or popped her tittie out for a random dude to admire. Then you have a solid, tight, swole marriage to a loyal wife PLUS great stories to tell your sons and grandsons. That’s the plan, anyhow.

You’ll notice that the graph only includes girls aged 18 to 30. There’s a reason for this. Most women older than 30 have lost their taste for assholes. They still tingle for them, but they don’t go batshit insane for their attentions, and they start to feel a strong need for betaboys and their gentle, cotton swab comfortableness. Part of this change in attitude is introspection brought on by the approaching wall; a single woman of maturity doesn’t have time to waste on assholes who are likely to love her and leave her. Partly it’s brought on by her own cratering SMV; assholes have more options in the sexual market and they typically cash in for younger, hotter, tighter lovers. You might say that an older woman’s assertions that she no longer cares for jerks is akin to a sour grape fruit salad rapidly spoiling.

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Reader Mailbag: A Valentine’s Day Plea

A reader celebrates the holiday of love:

I won’t bore you with my long story. Ex of 8 years cheated, dumped me, I learned about game and Alpha Males, started being awesome. She came running back, I backslide by banging her for a few months while seeing other women too. Learned she banged two of my friends. Was an idiot and let her end things.

I’m doing ok now, teaching myself to destroy my enemies and relentlessly chase my dreams. Can’t help but be irritated at this callous bitch and the shitty friends who chose her used up vaj over friendship. I’m moving on, [ed: are you sure?] but there is one thing I really wanna do…bang her sister.

Sister is younger than her by 5 years, looked up to me in her teens, isn’t my biggest fan after the breakup, but when in the same room we’re friendly. What angle can I use to try and seal the deal and destroy my ex for good.

Don’t you love a heartwarming Valentine’s Day story?

First of all, you’re not over your ex if you want to “destroy her for good”. That said, I know the feeling of exacted vengeance, and it feels good. Banging her sister would certainly do the trick, although there are easier ways to rain pain upon your ex-flame. (Ya know, just letting her see you in the company of a hotter girl would work, too, and without inviting all that messy familial shit.)

Women are naturally competitive, though they may sweetly claim otherwise, so I’ve no doubt your ex’s sister has at times entertained the thought of stealing you for herself. Now whether she still entertains that thought is open to question. I get the vibe from your email that you didn’t comport yourself in an attractive, aloofly alpha manner during your drawn-out breakup.

How about this angle: Try innuendo. Plant the seed of oblique romance and tell her a variation on these words: “Your sister is a great person, despite flaws we all share. It didn’t work out, but that’s for the best. When I was with her, there was often… someone else on my mind.”

Linger, linger, aaaaaand… walk off. Return another day to escalate the flirtation. Poison the sisterly well by absently remarking on this or that negative comment your ex made about her sister, true or not. Wonder aloud if your ex ever made moves on her sister’s boyfriends, because, ahhh, forget it… ok, ok, there was that one time she mentioned something weird about dancing with Kevin… yeah, yeah, you figured it was her Kevin your ex was talking about.

You get the idea, champ. Whatever you do, DO NOT tip your hand in the slightest that your pursuit is driven by butthurtness. You must remain as cool and calculating as you were, presumably, when you first seduced your ex.

***

Reader #2 asks:

From a transcipt on Obama’s State of the Union speech last night:

“And we’ll work to strengthen families by removing the financial deterrents to marriage for low-income couples and do more to encourage fatherhood, because what makes you a man isn’t the ability to conceive a child, it’s having the courage to raise one. And we want to encourage that. We want to help that.”

Your thoughts?

Nice platitudes. Prepare for wallet raping. Because wallet raping is all this present day crop of pols knows how to do.

***

Reder #3 wonders about girls and horses (horse cock sold separately):

I continue to meet and (sometimes) date females who are into riding horses. Sometimes they own the horses… sometimes they lease them, sometimes they just ‘rent them’. However, as I continue to meet more of the horse girls, the more convinced I am that something just isn’t right.

Unfortunately, I live in an affluent area in the county where sometimes the cost of the horse exceeds the cost of the house people live in, and they cherish the horse more than anything else.

Some help for us guys who continue to run into them? Are there any stable ( ha ha) horse chicks out there? Should I continue to date them and see where it goes? Have you had any experience yourself?

A < snarky fat feminist who thinks she’s clever >metric fuckton< / snarky fat feminist who thinks she’s clever > has been written about the love pretty girls have for horsemeat, ahem, cantoring stallions. Theories abound, and you can search for them at your nearest internet kiosk. My personal favorite theory is that the horse is a surrogate for the exciting badboy: dangerously explosive power tamed precariously under her tender tutelage. The horse evokes her nurturance instinct, her desire to monopolize and channel male (or animal) power, and her thrill for wild, unpredictable beasts with soulful brown eyes.

Remember, folks, we gave this gender the vote!

I’ve been around girls who either had family-owned horses or went horse riding semi-regularly. Very loosely, they tend to favor hard-charging, elitist men, kind of like their horses. Some of the older horse-loving women are closet lesbians, but the younger ones are hetero and usually feminine. Psychologically, they are different than cat lovers with respect to their propensity for drama; the cat ladies have it in spades. Other than that, further stereotyping eludes. Too many crazy SWPLs have clouded my ability to discern extra special craziness in female sub genera.

***

Reader #4 has lost his taste for his womenfolk:

So, I’ve dated lots of girls in life, and I’ve dumped most of them.  Mostly, they’ve been lunatics, liars, and leeches.

In time, I started dating other ethnicities.  Eventually, I married an asian.  I’m caucasian.

I see lots of 7s and 8s these days, and they’re mostly caucasian.  But for some reason–for some strange reason–every time I see a caucasian chick, I’m filled with disgust and I’m repulsed on some levels.  Why?  I’m not a racist.  I’m not a liberal white self-hating kind of a guy.  It’s just that I’m “formed” in this way.  Something compells my subconscious to say “she’s worthy, she’s cool” if she’s from some other exotic locale.  But my own white skin?  I just don’t trust it.

Thoughts?

What’s happened to me?

The troll is strong in this email. But, it’s soon to be Valentine’s Day, and I’m feeling gullible.

Some minority of people in any race probably have a limbic disposition for other-race mates. I dunno the number. Say, 5%. These peeps, of whom you may be one, are particularly aroused by exotic women, and in particular naturally feminine exotic women, such as the asian. It could be nothing more than that.

Or, you may have had a damagingly bad experience with a white woman and the event left you with a repulsing psychological imprint which redounds to all white women.

Whichever it is, I’m not sure why I included your email in this mailbag, except perhaps to throw stinky chum into the commenter water. And this is why National Review won’t annex my talents.

***

Reader #5 would like to know how to deflect attention from a girl he doesn’t care for:

Been running game for a couple of months. Seeing some good results but also interest from the wrong areas. One girl, a high 7, is obsessive. Just for fun, what’s the most beta set of moves I could pull to make her stop feeling attraction?

Get caught fucking a dude in a furry suit.

Well, you asked.

For real, just stop talking to her. If she’s not the psycho sort, she’ll eventually take the hint and cry it out in her dim bedroom alone.

But, if you don’t have the patience to wait it out, and kind of like having her around for pivot reasons, I suggest the following betatization program:

1. Pretend every second of your day you are hiding from alien probes. Sit hunched, look nervously around the room, cross your arms and legs, hold your drink up to your nose, shudder a lot, shuffle, hang your head, spaz out at hearing loud noises, cry for no reason, look at your shoes when you speak, announce that flourescent lighting scares you.

2. Confess that you love her. Make sure to sound as nervous as possible. Apply fake sweat beads to your forehead. Tell her you wrote her a poem, and would like to read it aloud. When she screws up her face, cry. Whine that you just knew she wouldn’t like it.

3. Confide to her that you’ve been having erectile dysfunction problems. Say that you don’t mind telling her because you feel so close to her.

4. Constantly accuse her of seeing other men. “Were you with somebody yesterday?” “Who’s that guy? You know him?” “Did you sleep with him?” “Why do you have so many guy friends?” “Don’t you think it’s weird that you talk to other men besides me?”

5. Ask her if she loves you. Ask her twenty more times until she gives an answer that is acceptably foul to you.

6. Espouse feminism.

There are plenty more ball-shriveling tactics, but these should do the trick. If they don’t, you are probably lying that she is a “high 7”. Fat, desperate loser would be my guess, because no woman with a modicum of sexual value would be able to withstand that beta onslaught for long without retching.

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Reader Mailbag: Dewy Vaj Edition

Email #1

To get the formalities out of the way – it took me 2 years but I’ve ascended from horrifying betahood into what I like to think is the domain of the lesser alpha. Either way, these days I GET things, and I see things for how they are.

However, there is one question that I keep wondering about – what is the perceived effect of omitting some alpha male rules? To be specific – showing up late. I understand the workings behind it, the DHV, and I have no problems with it if I am arriving into a social circle (“We’ll meet up at XXXXXXX at 8, see you there!”), but I loathe it when when people are waiting for me, and on one-on-one dates, I tend to arrive on time more often than not. Just how big is the effect of turning a blind eye to this or that game concept in favor of a more personalized style? How unbendable is any of the concepts depending on context?

Ok, spergs and strawmen, it’s time for a quick lesson in basic human reality. I can’t believe this needs saying, but apparently it does. You’d think some of this stuff would be inferred in CH writings, but never leave to inference what a hater with a chip on his shoulder will twist into a self-serving ego fap.

Alpha and beta are not discrete categories of man. They are not precisely numbered and annotated bullet lists of behaviors that, should you fail to fulfill one item or execute another item twice more than advised, will automatically shuttle you up or down the male sexual value hierarchy and leave you stranded there permanently. Alpha and beta are ecological designations with fuzzy boundaries but which are still nonetheless readily apprehended, much like a desert is distinct from a grassy plain yet one would be hard pressed to identify the exact border that delineates the regions.

So it is with your question. CH, and others, have suggested that it is good alpha mojo to show up five fashionable minutes late for a first date, because doing so subtly signals your higher relative value to the girl, and higher value, when you get right down to it, is the name of the game. But if you prefer to show up on time for dates, it isn’t going to deep six your sexiness AS LONG AS you have enough alpha characteristics in the kitty. If she arrives later than you and sees you at the bar waiting patiently, the immediate value differential she may perceive won’t matter if she also gets to watch you yukking it up with the patrons, and you greet her confidently and suavely and lead the date toward a sexual apex.

Furthermore, you can get away with committing a whole slew of bland beta errors if you have enough compensating alpha traits acting as a balance. This is why you will often hear alphas charmingly self-deprecate; they have so much value in store that it doesn’t hurt them to lose (in a controlled manner) a couple points here and there. In fact, it can help them, by making them seem more attainable to women.

To put it succinctly: The core tenets of game are universally applicable, but the culturally or individually attuned applications of those tenets can vary. Within reason.

***

Email #2

It’s well known that masculine men and feminine women are natural partners, but are extroverted men and introverted women also natural partners?

An extroverted men is confident and well liked. He’s comfortable in conversation and can approach without being awkward. His popularity likely leads to social proof, and his social grace gives him high earning power in management, sales, and negotiation. He can provide emotions and resources to his mate.

An introverted woman is less likely to talk to random strangers, and therefore there are fewer opportunities for her to accumulate a count, or to stray in a relationship. The introverted woman sounds boring, maybe in bed too, but that is a trade-off many men make for a pure woman.

Quick take:

Extrovert man-Introvert woman: Good match. Strong love polarity. Dewy vaj at sight of him expertly working a room. Rock hard protective instinct for shy, modest woman. But she’ll wanna know just how much cheating, fucking around, and general mayhem he commits on his social sojourns.

Extrovert man-Extrovert woman: Explosive match. Strong sexual polarity. Will fuck in public locale on second date. Will never stop playing head games for the upper hand. Overpowering jealousy could lead to criminal indictment or revenge infidelity. Long-term prognosis: nonexistent. Paternity assurance: nonexistent. Domestic violence: Awkwardly likely. Anal sex: Guaranteed.

Introvert man-Introvert woman: Beta male fantasy match. Tepid sexual polarity, strong sensibility polarity. Best relationship in the world three weeks out of the month. Worst relationship in the world one week out of the month. Cuddles and kisses substitute for hot, penetrative sex until he goes Anders Breivik and acquires the inevitable mass murderer SMV boost.

Introvert man-Extrovert woman: Strong complementary match, if introverted man is more stoic alpha than retiring beta, and extroverted woman is more social circle glue than thrill seeking slut. Warm powerful love with puzzling bouts of sexual drought. High risk of cuckoldry. Must be comfortable dealing with flirtatious woman, i.e. avoid excessive mate guarding. Could be beta male’s first introduction to sniffing cocaine off a hot babe’s pert ass cheek. Powerful incentive to trade for lowered relationship expectations.

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Email #3

So I know the things a natural, alpha man *should* be doing. There is surface-level stuff that during my ongoing transformation I’ve directly incorporated, that I feel I’m still only midway from beta to alpha. There’s underlying, inner game that I have yet to become congruent with.

Reading posts on the ways naturals think and perform makes total sense, but actually *becoming* like that is something else entirely. What is the best way to actually make the transformation from beta to alpha?

Fake it till you make it was the mantra of game practitioners until it was supplanted by an even better aphorism:

Fake it till you create it.

You see, doing all that “surface-level stuff” will not just improve how you are perceived by girls; it will actually create a new alpha identity from your beta clay. An identity that is more than verbal calisthenics, one that instead goes to the id, and lodges itself in near-permanence. That identity goes by another name: The Attitude.

It’s never easy becoming something you’re not in your natural, lazy, default state, nor is it easy becoming something more than you are. So expect that the effort you’ll expend and mental anguish you’ll endure will be more intense if your starting point is omega male rather than lesser alpha. But you shouldn’t think in those terms. Instead, think that no matter what the shape of your final destination, your journey will bring improvements every step of the way. You may not land a hard 10, but you can date girls a bit hotter and a bit younger than you would normally had you remained stuck in the rut of your betatude.

If you think that’s no big deal, try asking a guy who’s used to dating 3s what he felt when he got a shot at that 5. Actually, don’t bother asking. You’ll see it in the way his eyes sparkle with life.

Anyhow, to answer the grist of your question:

1. Hang out with naturals.
2. Avoid losers.
3. Follow the 16 Poon Commandments at the top of this satanic repository.
4. Break up with a girl once in a while just to get a feel for the Awesome Power of Alpha.
5. Create a fake alpha male profile and taunt girls online with promises of dates to get a feel for the Awesome Power of Alpha.
6. Remind yourself that women are essentially interchangeable, and that there is always another one around the corner.
7. Outcome independence is a fancy term for believing that you are God’s gift to women. Take it to heart. It works.

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Email #4

A cute cashier gave me too much change ($12 too much). I was in a couldn’t-care-less-about-humanity mood so I took the extra change without shame even though she’d been friendlier than your normal cashier with a kinda shy greeting and goodbye.

Now that I’m back on terms with humanity (with my shame back) I want to square this with her because 1) the money will come out of her meagre pay so it is the right thing to do and 2) she was good looking so an excuse to talk to her again and only her not anyone else who works there would be welcome.   It’s the kind of store you only go to once a week, twice at most, so I can’t go there every day to see if she’s working like I’m a nice guy desperate to give her the money back – her colleagues might remember me if I did – but if I don’t I might not see her there again for two, three or maybe more weeks which would be too late – or would it? What to do?

PS – There was some confusion during the cash transaction so saying I didn’t pick up on the mistake at the time is plausible. Maybe enough confusion that she remembered it was me she gave too much change too.

Most Valuable Commenter nominee PA used to say that his preferred method of tipping was to handsomely tip single, older men and be stingier with young, single women. The subtext in his strategy is obvious: single older men who are working service jobs need the sexual market value boost a lot more than do single, younger women. In addition to that noble motivation, enriching young, single attractive women makes it harder for beta males to woo them, and easier for alpha cads to use them.

Naturally, most men do just the opposite. That is because most men are mediocrities.

So, in your case, Emailer #4, I wouldn’t fret that your foul mood-induced ill-gotten pocketing of a cute girl’s coin is some sort of karmic offense that will redound to your reincarnation as a field mouse. If anything, you did the world some good.

But you want to violate her holes date her in a gentlemanly manner, so here is what you do:

Go back to her shop, $12 in hand. (Or, if you’re a craven SOB like me, $6 in hand.) Look her in the eye. Hold the pimp daddy wad of money up. It doess’t matter how much she remembers of the previous transaction, or when it happened. Tell her, “You gave me too much change. Here. You know, you don’t have to treat me like a male stripper to get my attention.”

Or: “I’m getting tired of girls paying me for dates.”

That should be enough to coax a smile and get the ball rolling. Report back to us.

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