Reader Mailbag: Macropenis Edition

Trimegistus asks:

I’d like to hear your thoughts on why women seem to be more open to situational bisexuality than men — the old joke about “all women are lesbians after six drinks” comes to mind. What advantage does that offer them, either in the evolutionary or sexual marketplace?

I have a religious/intuitive answer to that, and a scientific/rational answer.

Re/I answer: Women are the more physically fetching sex; soft, curvaceous, neotenous, vulnerable. Therefore their touch is desired by other women as well as men, and the disgust reflex that usually accompanies thoughts of same-sex intimacy in both sexes (gays excluded) is subdued in women. The subconscious imperative to protect her eggs clashes with her yearning for physical pleasure, and in many women this can be conveniently resolved by enjoying the closeness of other women, a treat which bypasses the usual assortment of threats that accompany intimacy with new men (pregnancy, rape, abandonment, violence, or, heaven forbid!, insensitivity).

S/Ra answer: Female bisexuality is an in-group adaptation that firms up (heh) social bonds and increases the likelihood that a woman’s children or future children will be able to enjoy the group’s resources.

I’m sure there are plenty of other explanations, so have at it you beautiful star-nosed moles!

******

A reader who shall remain anonymous asked:

I am a 22 year old that experiences success with women in my age bracket/social class (swpl types) partly thanks to your blog which connected the dots for me.

I am presently borderline obsessed with a 30 something tattooed bartender. She’s a prole but relatively intelligent/oozes sex appeal… Basically I must have her.

I can tell she thinks I’m cute but my typical game doesn’t work on her and I don’t think she takes me serious sexually. Also, I only see her when she works, not in social settings.

I understand this type of woman isn’t your cup of tea but I’m obsessed and would love any tips from outsiders.

Not my cup of tea? Minus a few years, I love the uncredentialed but sassy smart drink-slingers with sex appeal. They’re my only weakness.

You have an uphill climb to bed this girl. Women generally don’t like the idea of dating considerably younger men than themselves, and even sexual flings can be off the table if the guy is too much younger, as might be the case with you and your bartender dream girl. If she doesn’t know already, I suggest you lie to her about your age.

Other than taking steps to minimize the age difference, you should game this girl like you would any service worker who was closer to your age. Which means, you have to avoid being seen as her “customer”. That’s the dynamic that will kill your chances to bed her more than anything else. At the same time, you can’t just be some random weekender goofus off the street; you have to become a regular, preferably during the week when she’s got more time to chat.

You square this circle by making yourself more familiar to her but by not buying too much and never overtipping her. Weeknights and weekend afternoons (assuming that’s in her schedule) are going to be your time to shine. On weekend nights, if you go to her bar, be sure to be seen by her in the company of other women. If her bar is a hot spot, this will be easy to do. Just open a nearby set and have some fun. Preselection is king.

I’ll say it again: PRESELECTION IS KING. It doesn’t mean you have to be making out with a hard 10 in front of the bartender. A successfully pinged preselection radar could be as simple as talking to a girl sitting next to you at the bar while Sex Appeal pours beer and watches you out of the corner of her eye.

Next, you really want to get the bartender out of her work zone. The bar is like a force field, or a giant roadblock, effectively rendering you an outsider to her world. You need to extract her from her padded bubble girl bar area. Something to do is befriend a bartender and the staff and join them in the back room after hours for a smoke or airplane shots. It’s much easier to game her then when she’s stripped of her bartender power. Bartending is a huge contextual status boost to men and women, and a girl who has that power will be harder to game. Remember, half of game is creating and projecting a status differential between you and the girl.

Besides the aforementioned after hours option, you should try to get her out on a casual date when you know she will be less harried — drinks at another bar after she’s finished her shift, or afternoon coffee before her shift. The coffee chat before a shift is a good option because she won’t feel the pressure of a “formal” date, since she knows she’s heading to work in a short while anyhow. If my experience is any guide, bartender chicks really hate conventional “expectations” dates. They prefer extremely casual, maximally plausibly deniable, meet ups. Or hook ups, if she’s really into you.

Avoid at all costs hanging around the bar like a needy puppy dog waiting for scraps of attention from your bartender girl. There is nothing more unattractive than for a woman to see you still at the same spot, waiting for her return, after she has gone off to do something useful with her life. If you like your seat and want to stay at the bar, make sure there are other girls in the vicinity with whom you can interact. Otherwise, say a few words to the bartender, and then take off. Meet up with her later in the night.

When you get into long-ish convos with the bartender, don’t talk with her about her job. You’ll only feed her perception of power over you, and that is what is known in the real world as anti-game. You want to minimize the looming presence of the mahogany bar blockade separating you and her as much as possible.

There is a tacit Rule of Bartending (and Stripping): Don’t fraternize with the customers. If you close the deal with her, keep it on the DL. I knew a guy dating a bartender who would be cold as ice to him when he showed up at the bar to say hello. It drove him nuts. I had to explain that she’s doing that to preserve her status within her industry. If he just had some patience and understanding, she would reward him with plenty of ass when they were alone together.

******

A reader wants to know what qualifies as the ideal relationship timeline.

I’ve been curious to know what, in your mind, an ideal LTR timeline would look like, i.e., major events, milestones, when the first fight should be, when to instill dread, etc. That would be an interesting post.

Ideal LTR timeline:

First date – sex.
One month mark – sex.
Six month mark – sex.
One year mark – pretend exclusivity sex.
Two year mark – videotaped sex.
Five year mark — bon voyage sex and a trade-in for the experience of first date sex again.

I kid! I kid!

Or do I?

Here’s a more conventional LTR timeline that I would consider ideal, assuming the unending sex and convenient trade-in option above was not available to you:

Third date – first sex.
Fourth date – first sober sex.
Fifth date – first facial (hers, not yours, unless you are a manboob).
Two week mark – first prompt reply to her text.
Three week mark – first “real” date (e.g., a dinner, a movie, a charity event, a show at the local indie club, a walk through a quaint town).
Three week plus one hour mark – first pang of jealousy when you see her talking to the DJ.
One month mark – first home-cooked meal that you make for her at your place.
Two month mark – first intentional public exposure to her friends.
Three month mark – first intentional public exposure to your friends.
Three and a half month mark – first minor fight.
Three and a half months plus one hour mark – first minor make-up sex.
Four month mark – first major date (possibly requiring significant cash outlay). Examples: a play, a sporting event, a beach trip, a bed and breakfast.
Five month mark – first little romantic gift.
Six month mark – first “I love you”. From her, you poindexter!
Six and a half month mark – first “Right back atcha” to her “I love you”.
Seven month mark – first “I love you, too” from you to her. Don’t say it more than once. Scarcity is the glow of clits.
Eight month mark – first tentative talk of exclusivity not requiring a signed affidavit from you.
Nine month mark – first talk of impending anniversaries and nostalgia for that “first time you met”.
Nine and a half month mark – first anal. Explain that it’s time for her to prove her love more deeply.
Ten month mark – first major fight that ends when you walk out the door to sounds of her muffled cries.
Ten months plus one day mark – first mind-blowing make-up sex. Break a chandelier.
Ten and a half month mark – first bigger romantic gift.
Ten and three-quarters month mark – first application of instilled dread. Call late “from the office”; make sure sounds of laughing girls can be overheard in background.
Eleven month mark – first flirting with the waitress in front of her.
Eleven and a half month mark – first major fight that ends with you and her talking it out on the couch. Prepare for hours of boredom.
One year mark – first serious talk about exclusivity. Getting harder to dodge now.
One year and one month mark – first talk about meeting her parents.
One year and two month mark – second talk about meeting her parents.
One year and two months plus one hour mark – first talk about why she hasn’t met your family.
One year and three month mark – first faked orgasm.
One year and four month mark – first meeting with her family.
One year and five month mark – first major fight that neither of you are all that interested to resolve.
One year and six month mark – first “recapture the glory” fancy date followed by public sex in an alley.
One year and seven month mark – first talk of marriage.
One year and seven months plus one hour mark – first thoughts of suicide or expatriation.
One year and eight month mark – first infidelity (ideally yours, not hers).
One year and nine month mark – first caught cheating.
One year and ten month mark – first serious, imploring talk of threesome (two girls, one guy, unless you are a manboob).
Two year mark – first time you let it slip to the hot co-worker that you have a girlfriend.
Two years and one month mark – proposal! to move in together!
Two years and one month plus one hour mark – prank retraction!
Two years and one month plus one hour and five minutes – frantic consolation that retraction was a joke.
Two years and two month mark – first soul-shaking thought that this might be the last vagina you ever plunder.
Two years and three month mark – marriage! WHAAAAAAATTTT?!?!??! Unmarried cohabitation! That’s more like it.
Two and a half years mark – first secretive make-out with her lonely friend who just got dumped by a fighter pilot.
Three year mark – marriage!
Four year mark – marriage?!? still?!?!
Five year mark – first kid.
Six year mark – first interest in living in the suburbs.
Seven year mark – first time you find this blog.
Seven year and one hour mark – first bottomless pit of regret.
Fifteen year mark – first gray pube. On her. You die a little inside.

******

A reader with 99.9% certainty of troll origins wonders:

i have a big penis. women love it when i pull it out and dangle it in their faces, but it hurts [them] when we have sex. what do i need to do to make it less painful? what should i tell women who are afraid of damage?

I once hit the cervix of a petite asian woman. She squealed from a sudden jolt of pain, and I felt a little bad, although, I felt more pride than guilt. Luckily, there was no damage, and we joked about it afterwards. I would recommend a penis reduction, sir. Just lop off a few inches, like taking the crown off a giant sequoia. You’ll lose all sensation but isn’t that worth the peace of mind you’ll have knowing you are empowering women’s cervixes and sticking it, however feebly, to the patriarchy?

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Reader Mailbag: Abandonment Protocol Edition

Email #1

A father seeks advice on how to helpfully navigate his daughter past badboy shoals:

My daughter has just turned 16 and has a throng of suitors persuing her (she’s easily a high 8, inherited the best feminine mix of traits from a Chinese mother & white father). However, I have no illusions about the id that lurks within her & it’s susceptibility to aloof assholes.

My question is what can I do as a father to reduce the risk of having some smirking lowlife with tight game (Like Josh Camacho from the latest ‘Chicks Dig Jerks’) ruining my daughter for a legitimately high-status husband or having his bastard whelp become my grandchild.

One word: belittle.

Remember, you are still the ultimate alpha male in her life. The pinnacle of authority. Does the ultimate alpha sweat challenges from upstart alphalings? No. He laughs them off. If you get to feeling that she’s drifting into a crowd of jerks and nah boys, you react like you would if you were her alpha male boyfriend: tease her for her childish taste in men. Tell her, “I think that boy (always use the term “boy”) with the dorky tattoo has a puppy crush on you. He gets so tongue-tied around you. Maybe you can teach him how to speak like an adult?”

If the wigger tool ever winds up at your house, that is your opportunity to humiliate him in front of your daughter with extreme prejudice. You want to plant the seed in your daughter’s head that her asshole suitor is lame, nerdy, stupid, humorless, immature, gullible and, most disparaging, cowardly. She won’t appreciate your intervention, but, like a toddler hearing a new word and repeating it days later after it has sunk in, the slanderous seed will have germinated in her brain and poisoned her puerile love for the prick, eventually driving a hypergamously-lubed wedge between them.

I understand your fear, though, because a daughter succumbing to a worthless layabout’s charms is just about a father’s worst nightmare come true.

My advice to would-be fathers: pray you have all sons. That way if they get their fuck on, you will feel proud instead of panicked.

Email #2

A reader requests break-up advice:

Do you have any suggestions for breaking up with a girlfriend that give you the upper-hand but without being too hurtful to her?

She is of almost a year, a nice girl and pretty sensitive. There’s probably no easy way to do it, but don’t want a rep as a cheater or anything like that. (I’ve already cheated on her anyways but don’t want to be known as that)

Any suggestions would be much appreciated. thanks

It’s (almost) impossible to both initiate a painless break up with a girl and retain the upper hand, if by “upper hand” we mean awesome alpha maleness. As long as she doesn’t want the break-up, she will be hurt, no matter how delicately you deliver the news. The only surefire method for breaking up with a girl that leaves her feeling relieved rather than hurt is to go Full Metal Beta over the course of a few months, until she’s sick of your mewling.

Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: [sniffing] Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE BOYFRIEND?
You: Ma,am, a scented poem, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: A scented poem?
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: How did it get here?
You: Ma’am, I wrote it for you and watermarked it with my tears of joy.
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Is a scented poem supposed to make me feel better?
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Are you thinking I want to have sex with you because of this scented poem?
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: And why, Private Boyfriend?
You: Ma’am, because it’s proof that you are my world, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Because you are a disgusting cloying beta, Private Boyfriend, I DO NOT want to have sex with you!
You: Ma’am, yes, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Then why did you try to write this poem for me, Private Boyfriend?
You: Ma’am, because I was seeking your approval, ma’am!
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Because you were seeking my approval… [grabs her phone to show Private Boyfriend all the texts from aspiring suitors]
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Private Boyfriend, you have dishonored yourself and dishonored the male gender. I have tried to drop hints. But I have failed. I have failed because you suddenly decided that supplicating betatude is what I needed, despite all fucking evidence to the contrary. So, from now on, as a show of proof that your way is the way of failure, I want you to read this text conversation I had last night with a man who understands me the way you used to. Notice the part where I thank him for letting me puff on his peter. [shoves phone in Private Boyfriend’s face]
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: Are you feeling ill yet?
You: Ma’am, does this mean we’re broken up, ma’am?
Gunnery Sergeant Hamster: You’re goddamned right this means we’re broken up, maggot!
You: [phew]

This will work, but you sure won’t feel like you left with the upper hand. My suggestion, if you want to dump her using less manipulative tactics while sparing her feelings as best you can, is to tell her that, although you love her in many ways, you never got over your ex-girlfriend, and you recently met her and fell in love again. For whatever reason, girls are more forgiving of rifts caused by the return of an old love you have nursed for years. It hits their romance buttons.

Or just announce that you’re gay.

Email #3

A college student wants to know why the sex is drying up:

I’m a Senior college student who has been in a great relationship for 9 months.  The past two months my gf has often not been in the mood.  What do i do? getting denied drives me crazy

1. She’s recently gotten in touch with an ex-boyfriend she still likes.

2. She recently met, however innocently, an alpha male who pushed all her buttons.

3. You’re turning Betanese.

4. Some combination of all the above.

Without more info, I can’t tell you which of those explanations is relevant in your case, but the cause of her sexual withdrawal is most likely one of those reasons. My advice: Begin abandonment protocol. Women value men who are mysterious and scarce; your job is to give her that little reminder that you can’t be taken for granted. A calculated disappearing act should do the trick. Double down by being seen by her in the company of other women.

Whatever you do, DO NOT beg for sex, in any manner. Sticking around like an underfed puppy dog waiting on table scraps is a guaranteed way to reduce your attractiveness to zero.

Email #4

Somewhat long-ish reader request to analyze his game:

I went to a bar I never go to in order to see a band I really like tonight. I had a great time, and afterward I was busy talking to a friend and he encouraged me to go talk to some girls. I was drunk, so I felt more confident than usual, but I still couldn’t bring myself to do it since I’m so inexperienced at cold approaches.

Then a girl I haven’t seen much of since high school came up to me. She’s very attractive and thus is very used to guys hitting on her, so I knew if I was going to make it happen I would need tight game. We talked for a few moments, I initiated some physical contact and then I let her wander off to see her friends. My friend gave me a pep talk to go back after it. After getting my mind in the right place and ordering another drink, I wandered upstairs to see if I could locate her.

I went onto the balcony and she was in a large group comprising mostly people I know from high school but haven’t seen in a while. They invited me to join the group. I was a loser in high school, but I feel that I did very well tonight putting up the image that I’m confident and secure in myself. It was probably the alcohol, but it taught me how I should be most of the time.

I was in the group for a while and engaged the different girls individually, knocking each off their pedestal and emitting an aura of dominance. These are the girls that require negs, and I made effective use of them. I was on my game for 95% of the night, but I might have screwed up in the end by showing too much interest in the girl I’m after. To be fair, this is a high-quality girl that requires a flawless performance, and I feel like I would have definitely been successful if it had been someone of lower quality. I was feeling it tonight, but I might have screwed up a bit. I’m inexperienced at this sort of thing but I would have never imagined that I would have been as confident as I was. Regardless of how this situation works out, it’s a building block for my game.

Toward the end, when the girls said they were going to another bar, I attempted to stop the girl I’m after. Since our high school isn’t too far away from where we now attend college and she generally attends high school football games and such since her mother teaches there, I asked her if she’d be at homecoming next weekend (we’ve been out for three years now — we’re both 21). She said she thought it was last week (a definite lie) and started to walk off and said that she would come back to this bar later. I told her to “wait just a goddamn minute” and stomped out my cigarette and followed the group inside. I tapped her on the head from behind but she ignored me.

Her (smoking hot) friend stayed behind as they walked off and engaged me. Conversation goes as follows (using a neg I pulled from a PUA site, possible this one but I can’t remember):

Me: “Is she always like this?”
Her: “What’s she being like?”
Me: “Well, she’s kind of being a bitch. Tell her that it’s not too late to enroll in charm school. I hear that’s making a big comeback.”

Her group left, and I promptly bounced instead of waiting around to see if they’d come back. I have a feeling that they didn’t, and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to be the chump that sat around waiting or followed them to the other bar. I got in my car and drove off.

So, how should I proceed from here? I’m hoping her friend gave her my message. I usually don’t get too much into PUA philosophy but it was needed here as I was punching way above my weight. All in all, even if I did fuck up, I did way better than I could have imagined.

I know that it’s preached in PUA circles that if you need advice on how to pursue a girl that you won’t get her, but I’m going to try to play this one out to the end. Can I salvage this?

Don’t depend on a girl’s friends to “deliver” your tight game her. She has to be there in your company, hearing you spit it. If anything, calling her a bitch to her friend is going to make you look weak and insecure as it winds its way through the female grapevine, which is, as if it needed saying, utterly out of your control to influence as an outsider to the group.

I don’t know if it’s salvageable with the girl you really want, but her lying about not knowing the date of the homecoming tells me that she probably thought you were trying to slyly insinuate yourself into her homecoming plans. I don’t think it looks good, because I’m not seeing any signals of interest from her in your retelling of the night’s events. You should mack her friend, instead.

Email #5

A reader asks:

Would definitely appreciate your thoughts or a post on good/funny lines to reopen texting that dies down. Have a great weekend.

Non sequitur game.

Email #6

A reader wants to know where he dropped the balls:

Hey, I love your website and I have learned a great deal from you. Can you give me your input on something? I’m very confused. I’ll try and keep it short.

I’ve been hanging out with this girl about once every other week for a couple months. We have slept in the same bed multiple times (no sex…every time I go for her pussy, she pushes my hand away.) we have made out, spooned, messed around, pretty much everything except sex.

She invited me over and she cooked dinner for me a little over a week ago and we always split the bill when we go out.

At dinner she told me she gave her ex a second chance, but he never changed and is the same person so she is done for good with him. And she went to the fair with some guy that puked on the ride with her, and she has been ignoring him since Then she asks me if I have met any cute girls lately (shit test?).

I texted her Sunday night and she never replied. I haven’t talked to her since she made me dinner over a week ago.

When I first met her I was a huge dick to her, buying everyone drinks except her, etc. She was really into me. But I have started being nicer to her lately and I think that is why she is losing attraction for me. Her last Facebook status said “It seems that I have a thing for men who are from Scotland, Ireland, and London… Maybe I wasn’t meant to live in the U.S. because I can’t seem to find a guy that compares to men from Europe.”  Her ex is Scottish.

Tell me where I went wrong here, was it because I turned down the asshole vibe?

You, sir, are a train wreck, and your spilled cargo is a debris field of beta. First, NEVER platonically sleep in the same bed with a girl you desire. The bed is sacred. The bed is enthroned. The bed is where your kingship is ratified. The bed is where the penis meets the vagina. Or at least some orifice that is a reasonable facsimile of the vagina.

Multiple times you have lain next to her in bed, your balls filled with unexpectorated sperms? Multiple times she has pushed your hand away, taunting you like a cat might paw at an injured mouse before delivering the killing bite? On top of all this slander to your manhood, she casually regales you over dinner with tales of the ex-boyfriend she obviously still loves? (Don’t let her precise words to the contrary fool you; a woman who mentions an old lover out of the blue still pines for him.) And finally, the shiv strikes soft underbelly when she asks if you’ve found yourself a nice girl.

Can’t you see what’s going on here? I’ll just cut to the chase. You are the classic betaboy emotional tampon. An asexual lump who listens like a champ, restrains his sexual urges with stoic mastery, and feeds her need for self-esteem.

She has never “seen you that way”. Something happened over that last dinner that scared her away. Probably you said something which revealed a hint of your animal desire for her, something which crossed the invisible line demarcating the friendship zone she thought was operational, that jolted her comfy world where the two of you are cute little cartoon friends without sexual organs who talk girl stuff all the day and night, and with whom she can unload her issues she has with jerks who know how to make her pussy quake.

My final judgment: lost cause. Excise her from your life like she’s a tumor, because that’s exactly what she is, an emotional tumor sucking nutrients from the manlier portions of your viscera. Yes, you most likely blew it when you turned to the Nice Side, somewhere between the time you stopped gunning for her pussy to instead “hang out” in perpetuity, and the time you voluntarily bedded with her without the usual payoff that most men expect from such intimate arrangement. Accompany an alpha male friend to hit on girls, to help get your head screwed on right.

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Reader F’in Mailbag!

Too many reader emails to do them all justice, so here is a sampling of some of the best ones from the past month.

Email #1

LD writes:

I imagine that hypergamy and neoteny are joined by perversity in the triangle of female darkness. Can you write about the history of mothers paedophiling their own daughters? It’s where things are heading now: I see it all around…at what point does slut culture and female sexual darkness manifest as the ultimate taboo for which women always blame men but for which they show stronger tendencies?

The Dark Triad of male psychological traits — narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism — that are especially alluring to women has its equivalent in a female Dark Triad, which would include narcissism (hypergamy), caprice (emotional manipulation), and, like the reader says, perversity (alpha seed vs beta resource internal conflict). Female sexual and romantic innocence is the greatest trick the Cosmic Hamster has ever played on man.

When unleashed by social forces, the female sexual impulse is wilder, more dangerous and more perverse than the male sexual impulse. It is wilder because women have less experience than men controlling their horniness once it is activated. It is more dangerous because the wreckage a cheating whore leaves in her wake is much more extensive than that left behind by a cheating man (think cuckoldry). It is more perverse because women, being ultimately creatures of the body, at once enslaved by and enraptured by the rhythms of their physical sexuality and life-making force, are above no sexual or psychological degradation to a man of sufficient dominance, nor are they above participating in the transference of their sexuality to other women, even their own young daughters. The phenomenon of aging mothers whoring out their little daughters in pedophiliac beauty pageants is testament to the crass perversity that animates the female sexual psyche. Only strong social controls, taboos and shame can keep the dark nature of women in check.

The female Dark Triad is not particularly alluring to men, but the women who possess these traits are very good at manipulating men’s weaknesses for maximum resource extraction. A man would be wise to recognize the warning signs and avoid these kinds of women, or give them no more of himself but his detached penetration. Unfortunately, many female Dark Triads are also very pretty, and that makes it tough for inexperienced men, especially betas who aren’t used to sleeping with good-looking women, to keep them at a psychological arm’s length.

As for Western culture… well, yes. It is getting sluttier, crasser, more perverse, more uninhibited, and more pedophiliac, in spirit if not in action. And, feminists no doubt will be surprised by this, the pedo pushing is mostly done by women. From tot beauty pageants to schoolteachers having orgies with their alpha students, we are getting a glimpse of how woman appears when all constraints on the full expression of her id have been removed, and there is no leadership from an overarching patriarchal authority. Quite a sight to behold.

Email #2

A reader just wonders:

just wondering … im new to the game and once i read that we should make girls think we pick up a lot of chicks…not exactly  but we should act as if losing her doesnt matter..

Anyways on to the point…as a part of game…you should be selling yourself to chicks as the guy who gets laid a lot…and what if you use some sort of nickname to pass that kind of feel onto them..

Friends always call me stallone for a reason…and he’s a fucking badass of a guy….i was wondering if relying onto that nickname to to be known would be a good idea…or if it would make me look like a kid with lack of personality

Making a girl think you are good with women (preselection) is different than making her think you can live without her (alpha scarcity). You should be instilling both feelings in the women you meet. Nicknames can be useful, but I wouldn’t lean on them too much, because a nick can easily cross the line to goofiness. Nicknames shouldn’t be try-hard; that is, they shouldn’t sound like you’re conspicuously trying to puff out your chest. “Smash Master Jam” is right out. So is “Pussy Slayer”. Also, it’s always better if a girl hears your nickname from your friends rather than from yourself. Third party vouchsafing beats first party self-promotion.

Some experimental nicks you could try on for size: Boss, CEO, Casanova, Death Row, The Way (as in “he has a way with women”), Jacques or Pierre (don’t ask me why, but these French names evoke visions of pure romance in a lot of American women), Stone, Pace Car (good nicks are enigmatic and impel the girl to ask how you got it), Massive Furry Ballsack.

I’d also suggest you go around telling girls you only have a first name, and were adopted as an orphan by a hippie family.

Email #3

Reader asks:

I’m a 33 year old guy, completely average in every way and i can’t stand the dull uninspired drudgery my life has become, I recently started reading the site and you guys seem to have fun picking up girls so i thought maybe i would give it a try.

I scored a -3 on your test for men so the level i am starting off at is pretty low, I am not fat but not in the best shape either, I’m just under 6ft tall and about a 6 – 6.5 on the attactiveness scale but i’m probably not the best judge of that. My IQ is 150+ and I’m making just over £80,000 a year in a boring job that I am indifferent to.

I’ve never really had much luck with women, I don’t have much patience for the hoops they make you jump through, They don’t tend to notice my much anyway and to be perfectly honest i am not the best at socialising. I get easily bored with conversation and find it hard to pretend i am still interested. I don’t like smalltalk and i tend to fidget a lot.
I am highly critical of others and have a hard time keeping it to myself, I am often accused of being an arrogant arsehole.

So what can i do to turn my life around, to start enjoying socialising more and to have more success with women. Is there a definitive guide to game that will take me through the whole process or should i just give up and just continue paying hookers?

First, you need to reframe how you see yourself. You’re all negative, and there’s no need for you to perceive yourself that way. Try this spin instead:

“Things are pretty good for me. I’m tall, decent looking, and make good money. I demand more from women so I tend to get bored easily. Women can sense my high standards and they chase me to win me over. Things have been slow lately, but I expect it to pick up once I focus on getting out and meeting more women than I currently do.”

Say the above out loud to yourself. You should be feeling better within seconds. See how easy that was? The reframe is not only a powerful tool for leading women to your bedroom, it’s a great self-motivational technique. Inner game is not just mumbo-jumbo; you really can achieve more with the right mindset. Women will intuitively sense your positivity and they will gravitate to you, with little effort on your part.

As for guides, read the archives here. There are a slew of pickup books and website forums that you can read, too many to list here. Start with the Mystery Method to get grounded in the science and the art of seduction. STOP going to hookers. The act of paying for sex is feeding your negativity. You’re better off fapping, if you really need immediate sexual relief. The best alternative is to let your balls fill up with juice so that you have the inspiration to get out of the house and interact with women. Finally, I suggest hitting up a social event organized by a corporate entity, something like a cooking class. You have been out of the game for a while, and clubs might intimidate you at first. Ease into the scene by going to low-key, lower energy venues, and working your way up to venues with more energy (and more hot women).

Email #4

“Nate” writes:

Hey, thought I would share with you something about the mouth, and perhaps how it relates to women’s pleasure when giving ‘deep throat’ blow jobs.

Interestingly, babies are very good at this, and often try to continue doing this for a very specific reason.

Simply put your tongue against the roof of your mouth, and swallow. This will pull on your uvula in a very specific way. If you continue to do this, you will soon feel a very specific sexual pleasure in your pants. It is my thought that having a penis rammed up against the uvula gives a similar effect for the recipient of the cock.

News you can use, folks.

PS Tried it, achieved nothing but cotton mouth. However, I do think women get pleasure from throat jamming, but the reason has more to do with the good feelings that they experience by being orally degraded.

Email #5

The D.R.G. writes:

Mine is a niche market, created in part by following CH-principles…

Can the esteemed custodians of the Chateau and its commentariat offer any advice for dealing with (read: managing) pregnant girlfriends? Specifically, mid-20s Eastern European pregnant girlfriends who have never set foot in the U.S. (thank God) and whose beauty falls on the far right side of the bell curve.

The solid game, aloofness and jealousy-inspiring deeds that got me here are now described as “insensitive.” Declarations of my caring intentions and loyalty are being kindly requested on a daily basis.

It appears that 99% of what is covered in this venerable blog focuses on initial attraction and LTR game, but what of pregnant, hyperactive hormone, HB9, young EE game? The goal is to transition from cad to dad (a mighty challenge in and of itself!) and maintain the relationship without straying into minefield of betatude and loosing the alpha edge that got me to where I am today.

Details for consideration:

She is 7 years my junior, university-educated, a professional model (though not or much longer), New Age-ish, of middle-class origins, and very traditional regarding gender roles.

I am American, university-educated, work abroad nine months out of the year (willing to change but will take a huge pay cut if I do), currently make five times as much as her, and am also very traditional regarding gender roles.

I’m not fully informed on the science involved in this specific circumstance, but I’d guess your pregnant girlfriend was experiencing a flush of the “beta male reassessment” hormone oxytocin. This hormone is responsible for coaxing women to appreciate the particular benefits that a stable, reliable, provider beta male brings to the table. When a baby is about to land in her lap, the last thing she can afford is abandonment by a sexy cad who suddenly finds her unfuckable.

While this blog focuses on cad game because it is the type of game that most men don’t understand and fail to execute properly, “dad” game, aka “vulnerability game“, is just as vital to impressing yourself on women that you are a seductive, well-rounded, high quality man. After all, women only ovulate one week out of the month. The rest of the time, they are open to the (limited) charms of the emotionally rich man who can connect with them on a level beyond intriguing aloofness.

So I’m not surprised your girlfriend is with insecurity as much as she is with child. You probably won her with alpha charm, and now she needs some more signs of beta attachment. She is, on a very primal level, worried that you might leave her at the critical moment. So give her those signs. Backrubs, occasional compliments (pregnant women love reassurances that they are still sexy, even though most men are disgusted by the thought of fucking a woman with a giant bloated belly full of baby), and timely comparisons to other women that favor her are all perfectly acceptable “beta male” game tactics that will put her mind at ease and grow the love. If you are a natural alpha male, this kind of stuff might come to you with some difficulty, so you will have to make a concentrated, deliberate effort to soften your jagged edges and play the doting herb once in a while.

Just don’t go overboard. A little bit of beta goes a LOOOOOOONG way. And don’t give her the declarations of commitment when she expects them, like immediately after she has mewled for attention. Chicks HATE HATE HATE when their demands are promptly met. It’s one of the universe’s great paradoxes. Better to shrug her off teasingly after she has a spell of neediness, and accost her later with a warm hug and sweet nothing when she doesn’t expect it.

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Reader Mailbag: First Things First Edition

Email #1: A confused reader seeks advice on passing a putative shit test from a younger woman.

I have been trying to get this 23 year old and I am 38. I thought I had developed a good rapport w/ her and it seemed I had. I probably still make the mistake of being on the side of too nice. [ed: your gut instinct is usually right] Things were looking pretty good (I thought) and then she said that she had a boy story for me. I said, so tell me. [ed: high risk invitation to get LJBFed] She said it was a long story, and she did not have time, as she was just leaving work. My instinct said, fuck this, then and there. Why say this and then not talk? [ed: because it was a shit test you failed] However, I visited her the next day @ her work. [ed: why did you reward a recalcitrant girl with your company? and go out of your way to do it? you really lowered your value with this move]

Her short was, Her, a 23 yr old college grad found out that college professor in her dept, age 31 that she was recently “dating,” had an older girl over. 23 year old shows up @ his place. Then, later, 31 yr old professor shows up @ her apartment @ 4am and says he cares for/loves her. After telling me this story, I said, I am 38 and know how guys work like the back of my hand and the situation is exactly what it seems. [ed: you’re falling right into her frame. why do you want to be a girl’s romance counselor on how to handle badboys?] I then said, I want to talk to you about a situation too.  So, I said can I get your # and call & talk to you. She said, I am not really comfortable with that and don’ think it would be a good idea. WTF? [ed: wtf? i’ll tell you wtf. she lost whatever interest was previously there.]

I was going to lay my intentions on the line honestly, objectively, but not needy. [ed: laying intentions on the line is beta and needy. ultimatums and heartfelt confessions don’t work on girls you aren’t already fucking] If she wanted to take a go fine, if not fine, I just wanted to tell her b/c life is short and happening now. [ed: girls never just “want you to tell them” your feelings of lust. they want you to flirt with plausible deniability. that is the way of the outcome independent man] I want to retaliate so bad and show her. [ed: ugh. so bad. so beta. she smelled it on you.] I used to get that “floaty and electric static feeling” around her, now that feeling has turned an “irritating white noise like feeling”. [ed: that’s called sexual frustration] Please help me get some face back. [ed: face back for what? for you not eliciting enough desire in her so that she wants to fuck you? i don’t see that she did anything to you that would merit a face-saving plan of attack. your best vengeance is to tighten up your game, meet a new girl, and parade her in front of this girl who rejected you] She can tell me about all about her story, and then is uncomfortable with me calling her. [ed: dude… that’s what desirable chicks DO to hapless betas. only now, in the end, do you understand] WTF? Please advise.

Please read the editorial comments above. You don’t need advice. You need a soul adjustment. Your whole mentality oozes the repellent slurry of the needy beta. I’m not at all surprised she didn’t give you what you wanted.

Look, if you’re 38 and focusing on 23 year olds, you’ll have to do much better than this. Girls expect older men to be wiser in the ways of womanhood. That’s one of the main attractiveness drivers of the older man to younger women. It’s guys like you that really motivate me to put out a book so I don’t have to keep repeating the same axioms and game advice.

***

Email #2 is from a reader who wonders where he stands with a girl giving indicators that she’s open to cheating.

I was hoping you could help me analyze a situation.

I met a girl at a coffee shop today. Objectively she’s about an 8. But I live in Bozeman Montana. The dearth of local talent makes that a 9-10 relative to what else is available.

We chatted for maybe an hour. She was plently flirty, and every time I put a compliance test out there she eagerly responded. For example I’d pause conversation for a minute or two and she’d re-initiate. After a story about back surgery I told her to stand up and turn around so I could see the scar. Followed by pulling down the back of her dress to see all of it. You get the general idea.

But maybe 10 minutes into the convo (before I started getting all this compliance) I was telling a story about when I was stationed in Germany. She told me that her boyfriend was currently stationed at the same base. I wasn’t sure if I believed he existed just yet (he does) but I also wasn’t actively hitting on her, so I took that as a sign to stay indirect.

Being a former military man myself, I’m not about to steal another soldier’s girl. But I also wasn’t about to give up for a boyfriend that may or may not exist in real life. So I kept talking. She never said anything explicitly (nor would I expect her to) but I got the impression that the distance was taking a toll on their relationship and I figured it was gonna end in the next few months.

As I was leaving, I handed her my laptop and told her to add me on Facebook. Admittedly not a good idea if you’re trying for immediate sex… but I can afford to wait a few months for their “relationship” to come to its inevitable implosion.

Here’s where things got really weird. She did add me. Then she told me that I’d find out anyways on her facebook… but she lied about the boyfriend. He’s actually her fiancee but she doesn’t wear a ring because she doesn’t like getting asked about being 19 and engaged.

I laughed, and told her if I was trying to get into her pants I would have stopped talking to her after she mentioned the boyfriend. (thinking this might have been a mistake). However she then gave me a kiss, and went back to her seat as I was leaving.

My read is that she’s willing to cheat on her fiancee (although I’m not), but she wants me to pursue her aggressively to make that happen. I think we’re probably headed for the friend zone and she’s destined for female wingman status.  Is that the same thing you see?

Before attending to this man’s particular game needs, allow me a moment of reflection on the current state of our culture:

It’s a bad sign for civilization when girls start feeling social pressure to hide their engagement rings from fear of being ostracized for getting married too young, or from a hidden desire to cheat on the down low. You could probably track a culture’s ascent and decline by the rate of engagement ring concealment.

All right, back to the business at hand. I think your read is correct, although there is a chance she was just enjoying your illicit flirty attention with no interest beyond that. The Facebook add is interesting. I don’t know too many engaged girls who would risk that kind of exposure by adding a potential lover, unless they didn’t see themselves actually going through with the tryst.

Your disqualification (when you said you wouldn’t continue talking to her after finding out about her BF) was probably neutral in its effect, and maybe even worked in your favor. I wouldn’t make too much out of that. The rest of your game seems pretty tight. Anyhow, this girl sounds like an attention whore. If you pursue aggressively, you have a shot at defiling her more than she’s already defiled herself. But will you be able to sleep at night, knowing you abetted the whoreishness of a girl engaged to a fellow soldier stationed overseas? I don’t ask this question lightly. I’ve been in your situation, and I’ve had a few pangs of guilt. But just a few. And they pass quickly.

***

Email #3 is from reader “Maverick” who wants to know if girls always push for a no-sex date or series of no-sex dates after a one night stand or fling.

Thanks for the awesome site. It has gotten me laid with dozen hotties [ed: not two dozen? i’m losing my touch] and has completely changed my outlook on women (for the better, I hope – or at least for the real). It helped me choose the bachelor life and for the past 3 years have been the happiest for me. [ed: confirmed bachelors have never been happier than right now in this moment of time] However I noticed an emerging pattern. About half of the girls I laid, or maybe talked to for a while but then “forgot” about and later reunited, essentially wanted sexless dates. It’s almost as if they feel guilty for putting out and now want some sort of commitment right away. It pisses me off. I don’t mind doing things with girls outside the bedroom, but I have needs too and because getting laid is so easy now, I’ve been a little spoiled. It’s a recurring theme too. Let’s say I hung out with girl X for a month or two, very casually, then lost contact. Initiated contact again a few months later. She comes over, we hang out, however she wants commitment, or at least “no sex tonight”. Huh? How do I get around this? Or is it just one of those facts I have to accept? A girl with some nice fake ones who pulled this exact stunt on me last night is sleeping in my bed right now

Yes, what you are describing is colloquially known as “putting the dick back in the box”. Girls will do this — that is, they will begin to play hard-to-get — for two reasons: 1. they see you as boyfriend material and 2. they feel slutty for having slept with you, but still like you. You see, despite the protestations of feminists and the slut pride crowd to the contrary, girls subconsciously know their sluttitude is unattractive to men worth cornering into relationships. So they will pull back and guard the vagina to fool the man into thinking they would make good, faithful wives and mothers. But experienced men know better.

The way to get around this peculiar female instinct is to follow classic anti-slut defense game strategy. Agree with the girl, without really agreeing with her. That is, verbally assent to her pull back, while physically continuing to push for sex. If you get resistance the whole way, try a freeze-out, where you calmly and without a trace of spite, simply turn your back and occupy yourself with some other interest, like a video game or a book.

Whatever you do, NEVER let one of these pullback girls get the better of you. That means no sexless cuddling with them and no admittance to your bed without putting out. If necessary, tell an inordinately obstinate cocktease to leave your place so that you can get some decent shut-eye.

Maxim #29: Once a girl knows she can get sexless intimacy from you, she will curse you with that for as long as you allow it to happen.

***

Email #4: A reader has a question about figuring out the timing of a girl’s ovulation cycle to tailor the appropriate degree of game response.

21-year old dude from Canada. Long time reader. Doubtless you’ve changed my life for the better. Your blog is easily my favourite (on the whole wide internets, dread/love being favourite posts). I find your writing style inspiring.

Anyway, trying to figure this (re: subject) out for the first time with the current main girl, from one of your posts in jan of this year. What I’m confused about is exactly how to apply it once you get an approximation for when she’s on the rag. Can you get ovulation it to more precise than ‘7-12’ days after she’s off it? Is the effect of ovulation going to peak on a certain day?  From what I have (she just got on the pill, so effects will be muted, depends largely on the girl of course), she reports being more consistent (3 days on the rag, 13-16 June and 14-17 July, she expects the same august). For what it’s worth, she’s what one might call ‘shy’, has never done anal (‘saving it for marriage’ of course), so instead of convincing her, I’m introducing it under the radar or what have you and doing this to get a range of dates to try setting the mood and have it be an enjoyable, organic sexual experience for her. Advice along those lines would be much appreciated as well.

Perhaps a biologist better informed about these sorts of things could chime in here? From what I know, women can get pregnant throughout their fertility window, but the odds go way up during the two days or so that the egg is in transit, which falls toward the end of that week-long window. I don’t know if you can time her ovulation to better than 7-12 days after she’s done flooding her pants with her bloody stigmata.

I do like where your head is, though. If you’re going to do anal on a girl, the best time is during her ovulation, when her tingles will be oscillating most vigorously for the mass migration of your mass member. Anal sex is the demand of the cocky asshole alpha male, so you’d want to introduce this exhilarating aspect of your sexuality to her while she’s most receptive to it.

***

Email #5: A reader who requested anonymity asked what he should do about male friends ogling his woman.

Thanks to your blog I was able to have a girlfriend, it used to be girlfriend(s) but academia got in the way and I lost the other 2. [ed: fuck academia!]

Anyways I am kind of new to the blog, I have only been following your blog for a year now so I am not sure if you covered this already; but how does one handle “male friends”? Of course my girlfriend is a pretty one and she gets attention from other men wanting to take her out and stuff. I understand that women needs orbiters, but should I continue my iron grip on my rule that she can’t hang out with them? How should I do this without looking like I see these men as a threat to my alphadom?

Male friends who hit on your girlfriend are no male friends at all. Doing so violates a man pact, and frees you to treat them like you would any male interloper who was a stranger to you.

Of course, you can tackle this unpleasantness by forbidding your girlfriend from fraternizing with your friends, but this is as liable to push her into their arms as it is to lock her down in your orbit. You ever see what kids do when their parents absolutely forbid them a sweet treat or a certain toy? They want it more than ever! At least with kids you can lock them in the basement. Can’t do that with a girlfriend.

A better way is, first, to refrain from perceiving flirtatious banter between your GF and your male friends where there may not be any; and, second, if you are convinced the flirty banter is real and not a figment of your insecurities, to play a little reverse psychology.

You: “Joe can’t keep his eyes off you!”

Her: “Joe’s not flirting with me!”

You: “Come to think of it, you two would make an adorable couple, like two puppy dogs begging for love.”

Her: “I would never date Joe.”

Joe: [chastened] “Never?”

***

Email #6: A reader (troll alert) poses a supposed paradox.

Why do girls get off on attention from beta’s, be it in real life or online dating? I get repulsed when a fat chick hits on me and actually feel worse that she thinks she’s in my league. Why don’t women feel the same?

Women do get repulsed when betas hit on them. But they don’t get repulsed when betas shower them with harmless compliments or listen like good eunuchs to their boring complaints about their badboy lovers. Plus, fat chicks are INSTANTLY repulsive to men, because men are visually oriented; in contrast, beta males are not instantly repulsive to women, because women are attitudinally oriented. It takes a little more effort from the typical beta male to thoroughly repulse a woman. There’s your answer.

***

Email #7: Testosteroney goodness.

Regarding your high t girls article.

I’m currently dating a weird specimen. She has man feature in her face (chin, jaw and facial hair) and manly shoulders. Yet she has also very feminine traits (very nice, wide hips and round ass, soft smooth beautiful skin, pulpeous lips, nice round breasts).

Could she be a high T and high oestrogene girl at the same time and whats your take on these girls?

As realtalkers will tell you, genetics and biology aren’t deterministic; they’re probabilistic. The girl with the manjaw and broad shoulders has a higher chance than the average girl of evincing male psychological traits, but it isn’t necessarily so. There’s nothing in the kingdom of biomechanics that precludes a manjawed girl from also possessing womanly hips and a feminine disposition.

We are only just beginning to unravel the blueprint of the human mind, so don’t expect pat answers that explain the origins of these sorts of accurate observational generalizations about men and women. We are still at the nexus of theory and evidence, and there’s bound to be shifting along this fault line for decades to come. Once we have pat answers, though, expect the reengineering to begin in earnest.

My own speculation is that it is possible for women to have both a high T hormonal profile and a highly feminine brain. Often, as I suspect is the case with sex changers, the mind and the body are at war with each other, having taken different paths due to some unusual prenatal hormonal or genetic broth. Thus, we see in the state of nature rare cases of feminine-looking women with manly desires and personalities and characteristics, and vice versa. But the rare cases do not refute the generalizations. In fact, they bolster them.

I’ll tell you something… if you enjoy lots and LOTS of aggressive, bed-shaking sex, you can’t go wrong with a feminine-looking girl who has been blessed (cursed?) with a male mind. Until she cheats on you.

ps “pulpeous lips”. lol.

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Reader Mailbag: Options = Instability

Reader Ramon asks:

So I’m chatting with my current stripper of the quarter and I ask her, “why do chicks dig jerks?”. Her take: “they grow out of it”.

Background On this girl – 28, divorcee, cock carousel until 24, fun but with interesting phobias. I’d call her a 6-7.

What’s your take on her comment?

I actually do think that girls “grow out” of digging jerks. Unfortunately for the niceguys of the world, that growth doesn’t occur until the late 20s for the typical woman, and later than that for very pretty (highly estrogenic) or very delusional (also highly estrogenic) women. So while women may grow out of digging jerks, men don’t “grow into” digging cougars. The niceguy, as always, is left with second-best (or one-thousandth worst).

Also, it’s important to define what we mean by “grow out of”. The definition is fluid depending on the options available to the woman who is claiming to be over jerks. A 28 year old, rode hard and tossed away wet, neurotic divorcée stripper — a chick who has likely opened her wormhole to a fleet of interstellar assholes — is going to have been so psychologically drill-pressed by her history of disappointments trying to nail down jerks for long term commitment that she may very well begin to gravitate to the sensitive ministrations of relatively doting men.

But then it won’t take more than a few weeks with a niceguy to remind her how much she viscerally desires the wrong kind of man.

So, what I’m getting at is this: a woman who has “grown out of” dating jerks is a woman who is too old, too crazy or grown too fat to appeal to the unruly jerks who truly excite her. Her limited options dictate her claimed preferences. Which is another way of saying she’s settling for niceguys. That’s an explanation of the thinking process of your aging stripper. Now, this is not the whole story; I suspect that age-related decreasing estrogen levels, coupled with a subconscious reappraisal of SMV caused by failure to either capture the attention of sexy jerks or to keep them around for very long, WILL objectively alter a woman’s dating preferences to some degree. Women do have two competing mating algorithms clashing for dominance within their psyches: the desire for fun sexytime and the desire for comforting providertime. When she is young and at her desirable prime, her sexytime id holds more of her cortical territory. When she is older and beginning to fade into sexual obsolescence, her providertime id battles back and claims victories, hoisting its banner of sour grapes.

tp;dc (too precise, didn’t comprehend): The hottest chicks dig the biggest jerks. Less attractive chicks dig jerks too, but can’t get them, so they pretend they don’t like them. Older women will be easier for niceguys to pick up. A minority of cute, young chicks genuinely adore niceguys, but there are too few of them to go around to satisfy the innumerable niceguy demand for them.

PS Beware the stripper who says she’s over assholes. You will be tempted to throw her a compliment or a cuddle, thinking she has illuminated the way to her poosay. You will be rebuffed. Your working assumption should be that any chick who claims to be over jerks is not over them at all, and has probably dated more jerks than girls who admit they like jerks.

***

Anon pleads (probably too late):

Prom season is approaching. Any related game advice for the younger crowd? I know high school isn’t representative of the “real” dating/hookup scene, but there are similarities. Any tips?

Smile mischievously, and pin the corsage directly over her boob. Not kidding. Worked for me. If corsages are out, have two flutes and a bottle of champagne waiting for her in your car (or the limo, if the driver is down with underage drinking). Dance with another girl, and make sure your date sees it. Smoke outside, come back in reeking of it. Keep a flask of bourbon and a condom in your jacket pocket, and be sure the outline of the condom shows through. And, as always, remember that this is the time of life when girls’ asses will never be tighter; take post-coital pictures for a masturbation photo album when you are elderly! God, I love good, old-fashioned American traditions.

***

Rhett wonders:

I was wondering if a girl says she loves you way too early , would this be considered beta bait? I haven’t spent much time with this chick, i banged her the first night i met her and twice since discounting sex iv only spent about ten hours with her.

Not necessarily. Read her face when she says it. You should be able to tell the difference between a sincere expulsion of loving tribute to your alphaness and an insincere shit test. However, do note that EVEN IF her “I love you” is sincere, it could still serve as a subconscious shit test for her, in that if you answer “I love you too” right back, you could unknowingly give her way too much hand so soon in your new relationship. Since you’ve only spent ten hours with her, I suggest a cocky reply is in order. Make a finger gun and wink at her while saying “Right back atcha.” Gauge her response. Does she giggle? You nailed it. Does she seem on the verge of tears? Wrap her up in a hug and tell her you love spending time with her, and you can’t wait to see where it leads.

***

B. writes:

Have you seen the new HBO show ‘Girls’?  Writtten by a young woman who is also the star, the series starts with a young woman’s life bottoming out:

1. Parents cut off her income
2. Loses her internship at a publishing house
3. Boyfriend loves her too much

I’m serious.  To describe the nightmare situation for a young woman today, she shows a girl whose boyfriend never stops being nice to her.  And her friend even makes fun of her for it.

Thanks for making my life better,
B.

No, I haven’t seen it, but I may have to, since it’s been the talk of the town lately, and besides, there have been claims that the chick writer(s?) has cribbed a lot of ideas off of Le Chateau Heartiste. Hence, the supposed realism of the show. I’ll save an analysis for a future post.

***

Customer Service writes about a game tactic which involves pretending to be your ex-girlfriend to make prospects jealous and, hence, horny for your deviant love:

I moved back in with my parents and I started lying about my living situation because too many vaginas sealed up.

I started telling girls that I lived with my ex girlfriend and couldn’t move out because she was still in love with me.  Ergo sex at the girls’ places.  Bingo. Proceed.

However, I need a way to keep my leads warm so I tried this exchange on two cold girls [where I] pretend my ex gf finds my phone.

… out of the blue, after regular texting game …

me:  “hey, how do we know each other”

… silence or no response …

me: 2 mins later, “where did we meet”

… by this point the girls start to clue in that it’s not me on the other end and they’ll reply with something short ….

me:  “this is Tim’s ex girlfriend, i want you to know that I am still in love with him, stay away from him, he doesn’t love you”

… the one girl I used this line on responded by saying OK…

me: (to both girls) “did you sleep with him?”

… I didn’t bang these girls, one responded with a smiley face and the other cold lead said, “he’s your ex now, so relax”,  NOT ONE GIRL DENIED SEX.

What do you think of this game tactic?  I haven’t decided how to follow up with this scenario.

Wow. All’s I gotta say is, this is gold, Jerry! That is, it’s gold for finding out how manipulative and devious girls can be when their jealousy is incited by a bit of the ol’ ultrapreselection. I assume, since you didn’t mention it, that you hadn’t slept with these two girls you were texting while impersonating your ex-gf; therefore, the fact that neither one denied make-believe sex with you says two things about the female id:

1. they love the idea of being the “other woman”, and

2. they are DTF.

Chicks come born with a preinstalled harem mentality which can be triggered the moment they realize they are in the company of a man who keeps the company of multiple women. The typical woman is psychologically equipped to transition into concubinage with an alpha male if her buttons are pushed in the right order. Your “impersonating ex-gf” game tactic appears to have done that. It’s a total mindfuck, and for that, I award you:

Le Chateau Heartiste VIP (Very Important Player) entry to the Scarlet Room. (Bring cat-o’-nine tails.)

But how about your game tactic as a means of getting closer to sex with your prey? It’s gets a little trickier here, because you’ll have to be careful about slipping up and tipping your hand. But you’ve got valuable inside info on your two prospects; the image of having sex with you has been self-planted in their heads, and you come to them a proven commodity: the man whose ex-gf is so crazy jealous in love with him she stalks his phone for interlopers. To put it bluntly, you come pre-DHVed.

I suggest the next time you want to meet either of them, ignore what went down when you were stealing the identity of your fake ex-gf and proceed as if everything is normal. Wait for them to bring it up. When they do, say something like “Yeah, my ex is nuts. Thinks we’re still gonna get back together. Gotta put a lock on my phone.”

PS I wouldn’t say you can’t move out because your ex is still in love with you. That doesn’t sound plausible. Explain instead that you and your ex split the rent and it makes sense financially for you to live together for a little while longer, until you’re sure she has her life in order and can afford her own place. This fake explanation has the added benefit of hitting that “protector of loved ones” button that all girls possess.

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A Testament To The Power Of Game

Reader Sidewinder writes the following:

Last night I banged the highest quality girl to date. 21, petite, model, easily orgasmic…somewhere in that 8-9.5 range where any difference in rating is merely a matter of opinion. I’m a 35 year old attorney, recently divorced, 2 kids, balding, medium height, slender build…pretty fucking average.

I won’t waste your time with the entire seduction (which took 2 months, yet the 7 hour rule still held). I am fairly confident that last night would not have happened without the knowledge I have gained from reading your blog. This girl threw shit tests at me on a near daily basis for over a month. And when I passed all the tests and had near flawless rapport with her on 2 dates, she wouldn’t even kiss me at the end of the date (even though there was a lot of touching, hand-holding, etc.). She flaked on one date, and rejected me on another date request. So what changed? What were the keys to success?

1.        Persistent frame maintenance. I never whined, complained, asked, pleaded… I always acted congruent with the reality that I am a high-value male worthy of her sexual interest. While it was never said, she knew that “let’s just be friends” would not be an acceptable way of dealing with me. And I always moved forward, never afraid to tease, touch, flirt. No attempt to backtrack to try to avoid a rejection or give myself an out.

2.       Negs. Even though she is very attractive, she has a warm approachable personality, so I calibrated to a teasing form of negging. No cutting negs, except as described below at 5.

3.       Freeze out. After a month of flirting, dates, but no sex, I stopped giving her attention. This drove her crazy and resulted in increased texts and emails from her.

4.       Gamed other girls. While freezing her out, I continued talking to other girls, banging one of them. She didn’t know about this, but this bird in the hand mentality gave me strong inner game in dealing with the hotter girl.

5.       Destroyed/preempted her ultimate shit test – while I was ignoring her, she sent the following beta bait: “A girl hit me last night. I don’t know what to do”. I completely ignored this. This pissed her off and she demanded to talk a couple days later. I told her at the last minute she could come out and meet me at a restaurant I was already at after work (a greasy hole in the wall that she had previously told me she hated). She shows up, pissed to even be there and started fishing for emotional support which I ignored. Then she tried to guilt trip me about not being a caring person and listed all the ways I’m “not as great as you think you are.” At that point, having banged the other girl the night before, I didn’t give a shit so I told her the truth: I didn’t respond to her text because her “girl fight” was embarrassing for her, not something she should broadcast or that I would ever be involved with. I told her she needed to grow the fuck up. She looked at the wine in her hand and thought about throwing it on me, but instead got up, yelled at me and stomped out of the place. But she really didn’t leave…she waited outside for me to come out…we ended up having a good conversation. She wanted to come over but I told her I was tired.

6.       The days following this, she turned a complete 180. Pleasant, accommodating, openly interested in hanging out. Last night she came over, with her overnight stuff (I didn’t invite her to spend the night), watched a movie, no drama whatsoever, sex after a fair degree of last minute resistance and she stayed over. But it was good resistance, the “I don’t want to fuck this up with you” kind of resistance.

While we were laying in bed after sex, she was talking about why she wanted to be with me and she said “You are really honest with me, even when I don’t want to hear it. No guy is ever honest with me. They just tell me what they think I want to hear.” I know you don’t put a lot of stock into what women have to say about game, or what they think they want, but this girl is very intelligent and self-aware.

Unbelievable how difficult this was, though. It was like trying to land a marlin in a kayak, or break a wild horse. And odds are good I’ll slip up or get out-gunned eventually by a higher quality guy. But I’m fairly confident I would never have even got my first drink with her prior to finding this blog, much less navigating the minefield she laid out.

Some men found Fortune 500 companies. Some men split the atom. I help guys get laid with hot babes. Ask yourself, who’s really bringing more happiness into the world? 😎

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Reader Mailbag: Chump A Hump Edition

Do women engage in the female version of pump and dump? A reader describes:

I learned something new: the pity date. It’s when the girl relents and goes out with a guy she has no attraction for. It’s the female version of pump and dump. Alphas go out with girls they don’t care for, but at least get sex out of it. There’s no sex on a pity date.

I’ve known plenty of women who went on dates with guys they never seriously entertained as sexual prospects. You pick up lots of insight into the female condition when you become part of their in-group, either through massive social proof or long-term dating of one of their friends. And, yes, women do the equivalent of the male pump and dump; they will date “practice men” for their nonsexual attention, just like they will string along beta orbiters for their emotional support. Women who date unwitting suckers and have no intention of banging them — call it ‘chump a hump’, or ‘stroke a dope’ — are typically women who haven’t dated in a long while, are horribly narcissistic, and need a man to dote on them. Most women at most times, though, won’t date men under false pretenses. There’s too much risk to a woman, both in lost time and unpredictable male reaction, to make that kind of investment with no promise of romantic fulfillment.

***

A reader wonders about game saturation.

Will playing the White-Knight ever become optimum strategy with women?
Consider that the concepts of Game/Being a cocky jerk are pretty well known among most healthy 20-35 year old guys; will the ‘edge’ that Game theoretically provides be eroded over time?

My purpose in life is to trade the financial markets and parley a small amount of money in to a fortune. When a given strategy is employed by the masses, any edge that it may once have provided is destroyed… running counter to the crowd might actually present the greatest opportunity.

White knighting is not a totally hopeless beta male strategy. Some tomboys and fully inculcated feminists appreciate it and will reward these men with the honor of licking their clits. A woman who has been dumped by one too many asshole boyfriends will sometimes veer wildly into the arms of a heavily emoting mangina and reward his months of “being there for her” with a gentle moment of anhedonic intimacy, which quickly reminds her how much she misses the less gallant ministrations of jerks. And of course, women past their primes or never in their primes — fugs, fatties, cougars, single moms — who can’t get a sexy man to commit to them to save their lives, will respond to their limited sexual marketplace options by opening up to the possibilities of dating herbly betas. This is why 35 year old tubbos are the most insistent about not dating jerks; they are the women least able to secure a jerk’s attention.

As far as game losing its theoretical edge, it won’t happen. Sure, a few benumbed routines or negs which have made the rounds will occasionally incite backlash from a hottie, but the theory and general strategy of game will never get old, much the same way a pretty face, perky tits, and firm, round ass will never get old with men. When innate, largely immutable sexual desire is properly satisfied, it never seeks inferior means of satisfaction.

***

This reader wants to know the limitations of vulnerability game.

I was a shy, nerdy kid who got picked on in junior high. I’m 33 now and am not carrying any baggage from those days, but would you tell a woman you were dating about your nerdy past, even if you’re over it?

On one hand, I would think that bringing it up and joking about it demonstrates confidence she would find attractive. But a lot of women spend their lives endlessly recreating their teenage dramas, and nobody wants to think they got stuck with the class geek. Thoughts?

If I were a guy with a nerdy past, I would bring it up only if there was an opportunity to capitalize on it, such as the scenario where easing a girl’s insecurity about my unattainability were an issue. To be honest, the best game resides in talking about (or acting in) the present and the future. Discussions about the past tend to get bogged down in beta sentimentality and quickly become boring for the girl since she wasn’t there with you when all those things happened.

Comfort building does normally require some talk about your past, and verbally demonstrating higher value through stories is tough without resorting to past experiences. A good way to contextualize your nerdy past to maximize its attractiveness potential is to frame it so that you are a worldly, sexually experienced adult man who fondly recalls his clumsy puppy crushes and how little you knew about women then that you know now:

“It’s funny, but even though I know so much about love now, there was a time when I had no wisdom about women. I was kind of nerdy and would have these awkward puppy crushes on the beautiful popular girls — while totally ignoring all the nerd girls who liked me! — and bravely go up to them saying the stupidest things. A part of me misses that time of life when I was innocent and naive. Now I know too much.” [HEAVY SIGH]

I would avoid talking at all about the bullies who picked on you in high school. That’s just own-goal DLV, man. No need to go down that road.

***

Help is on the way!

Any techniques or maneuvers that will allow me to pull or bag some cougars/milfs? im clueless as to if the general rules of game apply when trying to get with women that are atleast 10 years older than me. Im 21 by the way.

Yes. Show up.

Hahahaha! I keel myself!

What’s that, you say? That’s not the answer you were looking for? Ok. A more serious reply.

Women generally don’t like to date younger men, although the more romantically miserable of them do occasionally entertain the idea of fucking them. Women are wired to desire male status, and older male age is one component of that status. However, a certain type of highly-charged, libidinous, high T cougar wholly in love with her former glory will relish the deflowering of a younger man. As Ben Franklin admonished a younger male acquaintance: “and lastly, they are so grateful!”

So, some ground rules.

1. Be confident. Contrary to popular perception, an older woman does not want to feel like a mother hand-holding a stuttering dweeb. She wants to be desired and pursued by a horny man.

2. Run the same game on older women as you do on younger women (with one minor exception). A woman’s sexuality doesn’t radically change with the advent of years. Does a man’s penis change with years to bestir for ugly women? No.

3. Realize that older women, no matter how much they protest, subconsciously know that their value has diminished. This makes them less judgmental of your errors and more open to less-than-ideal romantic possibilities. Constantly remind yourself of this and you will have no trouble keeping your confidence high around them.

4. The one exception is that older women are less tolerant of asshole game, inconsiderate behavior, or player vibes. Not because they don’t desire these things in men, but because they know that such men are almost unattainable for them and least likely to commit in any form to them. As a woman ages, she tends to become more accepting of beta male behavior. Buy an older woman a drink and, unlike her younger competition, she just might reward you with her… ahem… vigorously hewn vulva.

5. Under no circumstances should you bring up the age difference. Act like it means nothing to you. If she brings it up, reframe. Tell her she’s actually a bit young compared to the women you normally see. She’ll know it’s a lie but she’ll eat it up nonetheless. Lie to me, I promise I’ll believe…

***

Picking up the hostess with the mostess.

I have been reading the blog for awhile now and firmly believe it’s the best out there. Great work!

There is a situation at a restaurant near my house that is of concern. This restaurant is within walking distance of my house, so my roommates and I frequent often. I recently met at hostess/drink running girl. The first time I met her (as she was walking by with drinks), she smiled, I immediately opened her, we had nice/short platonic conversation. She had to go run drinks out (she said she would be right back) but I wasn’t going to stay and wait so that was that.

A week later we are back in the restaurant and she is working the hostess stand. I go up (pretending to forget her name) and start another conversation. This one is longer and more personal. She is asking me a lot of personal questions. The conversation ends when a customer comes up and asks for a ‘to go order.’ She again says that she will be back, I again leave.

2 weeks later we are back at the same restaurant eating dinner (we are known regulars there, so I am stalking). She brings out our drinks to the table and says hi. We finish up eating, pay the bill and begin exiting. I told my friend to meet me outside. I went up the girl and told her:

Me: ‘I want to see you outside of this place’
Her: ‘I have a boyfriend’
Me: ‘I have a girlfriend’
Her: ‘I’ll be right back’ (at this point, I am pretty frustrated with her flightiness but I’ll wait for a sec since I see that she is delivering drinks and will be right back)

She straight back over.

Me: ‘You cant have friends?’
Her: ‘Keep coming in and we will see what happens’

That was it. Haven’t been back in since. I don’t want to orbit this girl but I definitely know that she is interested, boyfriend or not. I cant really avoid the place because they have great food/drinks and my roommates always want to go. I know getting familiar with the help at restaurants is the way to go (I’ve been successful in the past) but I am sorta unsure with this one. Any advice would be much appreciated.

I like the boldness of your final push and the reframe of her BF aversion, but I think there was too much platonic chit chat on previous days you talked to her, and the boldness might have come across incongruent to her, like a last ditch effort when all else has failed. Your game here comes perilously close to “Surprise! I have a penis!” anti-game.

Leaving aside for the moment that she actually has a boyfriend (a claim that is either belied when she titillated you with her suggestion to “keep coming in and we’ll see what happens”, or evidence of her poor, cockteaser character), I think she has put you in a spot where every time you go back you will be perceived as dancing to her tune. Not the stuff great seductions are made of.

My advice to you would be to ignore her the next time you’re in her restaurant. She sounds like the type of girl who likes to flirt with men and fill them with hope. To neutralize that, make her hamster go warp speed. Go out of your way to flirt with another girl or another waitress so that she sees it. Bring a date there, or a female friend willing to act as your pivot.

If you wish to be more direct than that, you could attempt to reengage her on terms more favorable to a sexual outcome. “I’m afraid I have to take back my offer. My mom said I’m not allowed to date waitresses.”

Of course, she really could be down to fuck, but I’d only be able to know if that’s the case for sure by observing her body language as she’s interacting with you.

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