Beta bait. It’s a trap!
Beta bait and shit tests are similar concepts with some notable distinctions. Shit tests occur with the most regularity and intensity during early game, and at times when the relationship is on the skids. They are normally loaded up front to help the girl quickly take the measure of your alphaness. Beta bait happens at any time while dating a girl, and are spread out evenly in a relationship as a sort of low level boyfriend diagnosis script.
Beta bait is basically a type of leading question or leading suggestion employed by women as part of their subconscious female algorithm to elicit evidence of low value beta male psychology. It often takes the form of “poor me!” solipsistic martyrdom, a kind of damsel in distress ploy that thirsty beta males and white knights find hard to resist.
Chomping down on stinky beta bait lowers male SMV by a fraction of a point. The more chomps, the more SMV deductions, until enough demerits have been ignominiously earned that the girl can no longer stand to be in the beta’s company. The only way to decrease the frequency and intensity of beta bait is to demonstrate, through various verbal sleights of tongue, an unwillingness to tolerate them.
And that means learning how to respond to validation-thirsty girls playing gotcha! head games.
Commenter Mr. Meaner writes,
One piece of beta-bait I still occasionally fall for is when a girl, who has a great body, utters empty complaints about her body. “I’ll never be as thin as her/I wish my ass looked like hers/She has really nice boobs…” etc
If you try and reassure her it always backfires. Every. Single. Time.
It shits me that I still fall for this one. This is such a hard trap to avoid for the logical male brain, probably one of the most dangerous shit tests of all.
Beta Bait Rule #1: Don’t reassure a girl playing the ‘poor me!’ act.
There will be vanishingly few times in a man’s life when reassurance is the charismatic response and won’t backfire on him. If a cute girl is whining about her looks, and suggestively leading the witness with statements like “I wish I had her boobs”, refrain at all costs from putting her doubts to rest.
Disagree with her.
“No, you are totally the thinnest girl here!”
“You’re being way too hard on yourself.”
Badmouth her competition.
“Her? No way. Her boobs are way worse than yours.”
Everyone has heard betaboys say this kind of stuff. It is the coin of the realm for inexperienced men who were raised on presumptions that supplication or therapeutic pep talks are the ways to win a girl’s heart.
Beta Bait Rule #2: Think two steps ahead of self-effacing women.
As Mr. Meaner noted, the male brain is logical and linear, and thus easily exploited by the more socially intuitive and serpentine female brain. A woman asking what sounds like a logical question, or making a statement that implies a logical assessment, is not actually interested in a logical reply. The details of womantalk are secondary to the emotional subtext. Call it… girlsplaining. (Even better, call it “girlspleening”.)
A woman’s beta bait is like the Bene Gesserit Pain Box: Crisis and observation is the objective. The man is presented with a crisis — the woman’s needy exclamations of phony self-doubt — and then he is observed by her hindbrain for evidence of his appeasing beta maleness or, if he passes, of his alluring alpha aloofness.
This is why a man must train himself in the art of thinking circuitously, like a woman. To seduce a woman, you must first embody her instincts. Then, informed by the power of her wiles, you “flip the script” and hack into her arousal center with the password she unwittingly gave you.
Thinking two steps ahead means avoiding the logical response for the funny or witty or condescending response that is more precisely directed at the subtext of her words. Her subtext is her true animating force, the hamster behind the curtain.
Beta Bait Rule #3: The two best responses to “poor me!” ploys are 1. Agree & Amplify and 2. Dismissive Provocation.
Agree & Amplify:
GIRL: “I’ll never be as thin as her.”
DESPICABLE YOU: “Nope. You are one HYOOGE beach ball. Do you walk or roll?”
GIRL: “I wish my ass looked like hers.”
DESPICABLE YOU: “Try to be more subtle when you’re fishing for compliments.”
There are many ways to evade self-martyrdom beta bait and come out looking like a sexy beast, but based on my experience these are the two best methods. If you go with A&A or DP, you will never be mistaken for a chump beta, and the number of times you have to hear “poor me!” crap from women will markedly decrease. A&A will usually incite the open-mouthed mock indignation, amazed half-smile from girls that is so indicative of their uncontrolled arousal. DP will cause girls to react more like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar; she’ll pout a little, squint, frown and proclaim her innocence of such nefarious manipulations. Again, like the reaction from A&A, these are the facial cues that betray vaginal inflammation.
Two final thoughts. Beta bait of the “poor me!” variety is usually the province of attractive girls, although older, formerly hot cougars are known to utilize the scam for real reassurance from older men who have more sexual market options than the aging beauties.
Girls who are aware at some mental level of their attractiveness have the ego to spare to parlay obviously false confessions about fears of their subpar looks. Truly hideous girls will rarely beta bait in this manner, (or any manner), because it will be hard for them to express self-doubts without it sounding like real pain. “Poor me!” ploys aren’t ploys when the confessor really is a poor specimen of womanhood. Try to picture a fatty saying “I’ll never be as thin as her.” It is to laugh. Her ballast isn’t some phantasm that even supplicating beta males can reassure out of existence; her ballast is taking up real world space. I have seen sordid spectacles play out where a chubster would pull this stunt on a pudding pop beta male buddy for whom she has long held a torch, only to realize too late her bait would get no traction as the betaboy just stood there blankly staring at her and muttering “oh”.
However, when a fatty or fug does attempt to sling “poor me!” bait, reassurance should still be avoided. Why would you want to reassure a fat girl that she’s perfect just the way she is? That’s adding ugliness to the world. The best response in those rare cases is “Encouragement by Tacit Shiv”:
FATTY: “I’ll never be as thin as her.”
MOTIVATIONAL YOU: “Sure you can. You just gotta stop talking about it and start doing.”
If she isn’t reaching for the bottle of pills after that, consider it a lesson well-learned!
Lastly, there are times when women in long-term relationships will defecate “poor me!” turds on your serenity. A&A and DP are acceptable responses, but once in a while — these rare moments determined at the discretion of your intuitive grasp for relationship harmony — a guileless reassurance is what she desperately needs. If your wife is beginning to worry about her wrinkles, and there’s nothing about her you don’t like, then a calming dissuasion will fit the moment perfectly.
Just don’t overdo it. These “beta male reassurance” moments should be the seasoning to relationships, never the stew. A little goes a long way. Tragicomically, it’s usually incorrigible beta males who lean on the crutch of “reassurance game” to excess, the very last men who would derive any benefit from it, and often the men who experience befuddling negative blowback when their appeasement isn’t met with the gratitude from their girlfriends or wives they mistakenly believe is coming.
Women in LTRs needing expressions of acceptance are usually moved into that position because their lovers are alpha men who are a little short on beta vulnerability game. Such women are sexually bonded to their alphas, but their emotional bonds may fray if, over time, their men — and remember these are men with options — don’t supply them with sufficient sweet talk to allay their gnawing fears of future abandonment.
If your wife or girlfriend really is getting fat or ugly, then “poor me!” ploys are a dangerous game which could blow up the relationship. Unattractive women in relationships — especially those who were formerly attractive when they met their partners — are mentally lubed by a toxic mix of superficial security and comfort coupled with a fearful sensation of impending romantic loss. This emotional turmoil drives them to seek constant reassurance of their prettiness as their men used to know them.
But it’s a catch-22. Reassure these women, and they are never incentivized to improve themselves. Dismiss their concerns, and the same results. Agree with them, and they withdraw spitefully. It’s a minefield and the best way to navigate it is the ol’ “Butter her up before delivering the bad news” tactic.
WIFE WITH POWER OF STATE AT HER BECK AND CALL: “I’ll never be as thin as her.”
DEVIOUS YOU: “You were the prettiest woman I had ever met. And hopefully always will be. I can help make that happen.”
The only other scenario in which it makes any sense to “beta up” and reassure a fat or ugly girl steeped in legitimate self-doubt is one where you want to bang the fug. But then the question has to be asked… WAYB? (Why are you banging?)
Read Full Post »