Giving Up On A Relationship

“Issues”. That’s a twinkletoes word, isn’t it? “We have issues, dear.” “I think we need to discuss some issues.” Almost as bad as “closure”. What makes “issues” ambiguously slippery is the fact that the issues that matter to men diverge so wildly from the issues that matter to women. Women normally leave relationships because of issues having to do with nebulous smoke and mirrors concepts like “compatibility” and “fulfilling her needs”. As all of you must know (since you read my blog) these excuses by women are merely handwaving bromides to conceal the crass tingle generator under the skirt that is actually responsible for her decision-making. Nonetheless, the relationship “issues” that matter to women are indeed a bit more complicated than those that motivate men to either stay with or leave a lover. A woman’s 463 bullet point checklist is a real phenomenon and dwarfs most men’s checklists for acceptable partners. If you don’t like tofu AND you fart in bed AND you voted for Ron Paul, she just might spend sleepless nights agonizing over whether you are The One. (My advice: Ignore 99% of a woman’s “needs”. Attempting to fulfill more than 1% of a woman’s needs will brand you with a big fat “B” for beta.)

Men are fairly clear and even simple in their (usually) unstated reasons for feeling the need to flee a relationship. Essentially, two uber variables are responsible for how men feel about their lovers. One, how hot is she? And two, how novel is her pussy? That’s pretty much all there is. Sure, minor details like compatibility and shared values will have some influence over how warmly men feel about their partners, but these factors pale in comparison to the hotness and freshness of the pussy in question. For example, a man who just met a babe ranked 9 is going to want to fuck her nonstop and dream of slaving away to give her the world. On the other hand, a man who has been with the same 5 ranked woman for years will be able to go weeks, if not months, free of any desire to fuck her as his thoughts are preoccupied with visions of skirt-hiking the bounty of babes he sees on his morning commute every day.

These two important variables influencing men’s feeling of commitment to a lover can be represented in the following handy graphs.

As we can see from the above, most men couldn’t be bothered to bang 5s and below more than once per day. But anything over a 6 and a man’s sexual urge shoots through the roof. 8s, 9s, and 10s are really nature’s natural viagra. A 90 year old who hasn’t sported wood in twenty years will suddenly spring to life if Zooey Deschanel sits naked on his lap.

In this graph we see that the novelty of the pussy has a big impact on how often the man wants to do the woman. Pussy that he’s woken up next to for ten years is unlikely to stir his loins at all, while brand new pussy will remind him why it’s great to be alive. An ugly truth of life is that men, unlike women, simply get off on sexual variety for its own sake. Don’t take it personally, ladies. We’re not cads. We’re just formed that way.

This post should serve as a valuable guide for women wanting to figure out just how deeply loyal their boyfriends or husbands actually feel towards them. A man’s strength of commitment can be measured surprisingly accurately by these two variables.

(Note that I’m referring to a man’s “strength” of commitment, not his “lack of options preventing disloyalty”. These are two different concepts. A man with lots of options on the dating market — i.e. an alpha — will only feel strongly loyal — and hence, unlikely to cheat or withhold resources — to a girlfriend who is hot and piping fresh. This strong emotion-directed loyalty is a separate beast from social- and peer-influenced loyalty, and is the type of loyalty that burns brightest but is also quickest to fade. Betas also lose their sense of strong emotional loyalty, but unlike the alphas their lack of options means they are pretty much stuck with the same old same old, mouthing platitudes on anniversaries and birthdays to keep the mutli-horned ball-smashing divorce demon from breaching a portal to his world.)

So, ladies, if you want to know how commited he is to you, a simple test (and one that requires being bracingly honest with yourself) is to tally how many times per day on average he desires you intimately. Is he constantly groping you? Good news! He hardly notices other women. Has it been a week since he last fucked you? Better start combing through his cellphone texts.

When I start feeling like I could go a day without fucking my girlfriend, that’s when I seriously mull the option to reenter the dating market with purpose. I start flirting with other women and running game again like I was single and horny. And I notice more clearly when other women are flirting with me. This may seem like I’m placing some hard-to-please demands on my women, but the woman who can keep me sexually entertained for years will know she is a worthy lover indeed.

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A Test Of Your Game: The Judging

Way back in November I posed the following scenario. What do you do when your girl keeps mentioning the name of another man she’s known since high school and for whom you suspect she nurses some latent sexual attraction?

363 comments suggests this sort of scenario is not that uncommon. Most readers’ responses would fall under the category of “overreaction”. Reacting out of proportion to a woman’s infraction is the quickest way to discredit your alpha cred. A few got it right. Here is a random sampling:

MeMyselfI wrote:

Ignore most of what she’s saying about the other guy. Tuck it away for future use, but don’t worry about it.

Hit on the waitress (assuming she’s reasonably good looking – better if she’s hot) in front of her during that dinner.

Take her home after dinner – no sex that night. Early if possible. Go to another party/event. Maybe text her from that event, if possible. See if she asks what your are doing.

Wait and see how she responds to the above…

In every “Test of your Game” post, I always include a few critical clues to the correct response. In this scenario, I specifically wrote that you had been dating this hypothetical girl for a few months. Now think about it — is it normal behavior for a man who’s been dating a girl for months to blatantly flirt with the waitress over dinner, drop his girl off at home with no sex so he can go to another party without her, and then text her from that party later in the night… all because she mentioned another dude’s name a few too many times during dinner? You don’t think the girl will ask you why you’re dropping her off and refusing to take her to another party? This is classic overreaction. Now this kind of asshole game will work on a girl you’ve just started dating who is playing hard to get with you, but not with a girlfriend.

Grade: D (Barely passing, because your heart is in the right place)

jom wrote:

Say something along the lines of, “Sometimes you have to let people make the stupid mistakes they are determined to make.” You frame him as a fool who needs to learn in order to reach your level.

Generally speaking, subtle psychological ploys like this one trump spazzy overreaction. In the post, I wrote that the girl was “fake complaining” about something the other man did. You know how girls fake complain about men they find sexually alluring? It gives them a reason to keep his name front and center in her mind. Jom’s psychological acrobatics can be an effective counter tactic, although it is not the best option available because his reframe continues with the theme of keeping the other man’s presence alive in the conversation.

Grade: B-

Dan wrote:

Kill her.

Well, at least it’s not beta.

Grade: F+

Thras wrote:

Wait for the next time that she doesn’t account for her movements, accuse her of seeing him. Storm out. Then get into a fight with the guy at the next available opportunity.

I’m pretty sure this reply was meant as a joke.

Grade if joke: B+

Grade if not joke: F

The Book of Dooderonomy wrote:

I’d defend the guy’s actions, so long as they were short of murder.

Her: I can’t believe John did *so and so objectionable action*.
Me: Ha, really? Well, from a guys perspective, it seems he did the right thing. Had I been put in that situation, I’d definitely have done something similar.

And I’d keep defending it, but defend it intelligently, yet with a hint of me just doing it to get under her skin. Also, I would note to her that he seems like a “really cool guy” and some of his other good qualities, but do it backhandedly.

This is psyche-out 101, similar to Jom’s reply, except better because it doesn’t risk making you sound resentful as you would if you were to criticize your competition, however adroitly you massage your criticisms. Backhanded compliments of intruder males, like negs to target women, is a sly — some would say slimy — ploy to keep the upper hand. It is usually effective.

Grade: A

Skryblah wrote:

Easy, just smile to yourself when she brings him up, each and every time, and each time she asks why you are smiling, just say that you remembered something funny…be sure to make it look legit, and then sit back as her brain goes hyper confused, she can connect the dots to figure out that you smile every time she mentions him but she will go crazy trying to figure out why on earth you are smiling, basically successfully shifting her focus from the other guy to why the fuck you are smiling. Never underestimate the crazy things women think of when trying to rationalize their guys actions that seem irrational.

I include responses like this one under the category of “What I pretend not to notice won’t affect me”. A generally safe bet as a strategy, but sometimes it *will* affect you. Then what? Nevertheless, if you can’t find an effective way to respond, a good default mode is the shit eating grin followed up by the utterly random conversational thread breaker.

Grade: B+

anony (a woman) wrote:

address it directly, with respectful teasing, that she has a crush on him. the particular words don’t matter.

Teasing a girlfriend about having a crush on another man works well if the other man in question is some faraway totally unobtainable dude like a Hollywood celebrity. Or if the other guy is obviously lower in status than you. But it’s a risky tactic if the other man is someone she’s known for years and could represent serious competition to you.

Grade: C

ASDF wrote:

My first reaction (if I could no longer ignore it) would be to call her out a bit. Saying something like “I’m not interested in talking about your buddy. That’s what your girlfriends are for. I don’t care about his problems.”

The “calling her out” strategy was very popular among the commenters. I say it risks sounding like overreaction. Sometimes a woman’s shit test is so bold it deserves a strong, alpha male “calling out” response, possibly appended with an ultimatum. This was not one of those times.

Grade: C-

The G Manifesto wrote:

You lost me here:

“You’ve been dating a girl for a few months. ”

But to play along, I like MeMyselfI’s moves.

I would get the waitress or girl bartenders number when the girl goes to the bathroom.

Then get a blower in the Lac before dropping her off.

Then roll to the Gentleman’s Club to swoop more girls.

All done suited down of course.

I was about to fail this entry, but then I noticed he would do all this suited down. I revised my grading.

Grade: A+

hcl wrote:

Hmmm, were this a real life scenario I’d believe she fails to meet his high, non-player (stoic = not a player) standards.

If he didn’t bang her then (and they obviously haven’t), he simply isn’t sufficiently interested. She’s an orbiter of his.

The likelihood they’ll ever bang is low, but non-zero.

hcl has done a good job of correctly assessing the dynamics of the shadow relationship. She’s known this other guy for years and yet, according to her, they’ve never dated or (presumably) hooked up? She’s an orbiter of him, not the other way around. Does this fact mean it is more or less dangerous for you? Tough to say. Assuming his interest in her is low and her interest in him is high, all it would take is a small move on his part, if he were so inclined, to tempt her into a tryst. But it’s also important to remind yourself that she’s fucking you, not the other guy. That is the fact that matters most above all other facts.

Grade: A for proper assessment

John wrote:

“Call him up…we can both bang you at the same time. I call mouth.”

If you are dating a superfreaky girl, this might just work. But then you’d have to watch another guy banging her from behind while you’re up front. Would you high five him during the Chinese finger cuffs?

Grade: E for effort

***

What I did:

While she was taking about the dude, I reached over and grabbed a piece of lint off her shoulder. Neg, abrupt conversation thread break, and protector of loved ones, all in one simple gesture.

Nonetheless, because of her not-so-infrequent mentions of his name, she was put on mental notice, and bumped down to tier 2 on the CH Fidelity Guarantee Purchase Policy. This means I kept my eye open for other prospects and put up token resistance when tempted.

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The Ideal Lover Can Never Be The Great Boyfriend

Men are burdened with a duality. We feel impelled to commit to a chaste woman but we will happily sleep around with raging sluts. Women, too, are creatures of duality. They relish the emotional connection with the great boyfriend who dotes on them and pampers them but they succumb helplessly to their raw sexuality with the ideal lover. The god of biomechanics is, if nothing else, a practical joker.

There are very few men who embody both the great boyfriend and the ideal lover in equal measure. In fact, my experience in the trenches of modern decadence leads me to conclude there are NO men like this. 50/50 internal power sharing between lover and supporter, manifestly expressed in perfect synchronicity with a woman’s unspoken needs for the one or the other masculine archetype, is the myth of “the One” perpetuated by the feminist grievance industry to keep women unsatisfied and constantly searching. The truth is that most men, by innate character, lean one way, and a few men of purity wholly abandon their soul’s struggle and jettison one archetype to fully embrace its opposite.

How do you know if you are closer in character to the ideal lover or to the great boyfriend? To answer this for yourself, consider the following scenarios, and then decide if they accurately describe how you would behave in your own life.

• Holiday shopping (Kwanzaa not included)

The great boyfriend thinks of the gifts he will buy others before he thinks of himself. His time shopping is spent with a gentle smile envisioning the look on his lover’s face when she sees what he bought for her.

The ideal lover thinks of all the fantastic shit he will buy for himself before he thinks of others. His time shopping is spent with a joyous grin perusing the electronics section, and only after he has sat in the massage chair at Brookstones for a while does he put in a token effort to find reasonably acceptable gifts for his girlfriend.

• Family

The great boyfriend showers affection on his family. He is especially affectionate with little nieces and nephews.

The ideal lover is either fighting or drinking with his family. He is the first to teach his little nephew how to flip the bird and what it means.

• Sex

The great boyfriend is a master of foreplay and delaying his own gratification. He is a slow and steady lovemaker. The look of surrender on his woman’s face during orgasm brings him almost as much pleasure as his own climax. Sex is often preceded by the lighting of scented candles and the playing of soft jazz.

The ideal lover is selfish in bed. He may eat his woman out for an eternity one night while hurting her anally another night, slowly grind into her missionary style or jackhammer her like a rutting cape buffalo, but always know that everything he does sexually to her is in service to his penis. He will often not know nor care if she came, and what usually precedes sex is a rough hand up her skirt.

• Compassion

The great boyfriend will listen intently when his girl has had a bad day, careful not to brusquely offer any pointed suggestions to alleviate her sadness, instead opting to massage her shoulders and make her some soup.

The ideal lover will attempt to take his girl’s mind off her worries with hot sex. It will usually work.

• Values

The great boyfriend appreciates his girlfriend’s values, and this is reflected in his mature respect for her political views, even when he disagrees.

The ideal lover only cares for one value — his lover’s commitment to the righteousness of sexual abandon. He’s apolitical as far as she knows, because he’s very good at mentally dismissing her silly political beliefs as the earnest naivete of an unworldly little girl.

• Compatibility

The great boyfriend understands that much of what makes a relationship successful are shared goals and interests. He loves spending time with his lover doing things they both enjoy, and he will put in the extra effort to learn about those things she likes to do but which he is either unfamiliar or uninterested. For instance, if she likes tango dancing but he’d rather play pool, he’ll spend a night or two attending tango classes with her and making her feel worth his sacrifice.

The ideal lover understands that what makes a relationship successful is not spending too much time together. Quality over quantity, and in his world the best measure of quality is how often intercourse is happening. He will occasionally treat his lover to romantic nights out, but when she wants him to join her on her trip to Antartica he’ll stroke her cheek lovingly and tell her to have a good time by herself.

These examples should give you an idea where on the testicular spectrum you fall. Are you a Latin lover or a loving partner? Like I said, most men lean one way or the other, a few embrace an extreme, and only Master Casanovas balance their dual essence so evenly that their women are always breathlessly infatuated with them.

The men who have complete command over their women are the men who intuitively know when to disarm with the tender ministrations of the great boyfriend or the lustful recklessness of the ideal lover. When you are aware of this ever present immutable female desire for dualing male archetypes, you will find it that much easier to direct a woman’s emotions, like Mozart conducting a symphony. A woman’s loyalty is as much a function of your ability to seduce it out of her as it is of her character.

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The Tiger Woods Effect

It’s been said that when Tiger Woods is dominating on the fairway his opponents lose their composure and begin piling up the bogies. An analogy could be made to relationships. The greater the dating market value disparity between two people the more likely the partner with less power will lose composure at the slightest threat of loss. Another way of saying this: The partner with less hand is more emotionally invested in the relationship.

Tiger Woods may be a goofy looking guy but have no doubt — millions of hot women the world over would love to bang him. This means whichever woman lucks out in the marital lotto with Tiger is automatically the partner with zero emotional hand. (Financial hand is another matter. Thanks to insane anti-male divorce laws a world-beating alpha male like Tiger Woods can be brought to his knees by a single throwaway lantern-jawed blonde like Elin Nordegren.) Nordegren has little hand being married to Tiger and her hindbrain knows this, which is why she went psycho on him when she presumably suspected him of cheating and chased him down with the long iron.

The Tiger Woods Effect works in either direction. Look back on your own dating career. With which women did you behave in the most wretchedly beta manner? The hot ones, right? It’s usually the women who are relatively significantly higher in dating market value who will cause a man to forget everything he’s learned about women and throw alpha to the wind as he begs pleads and cajoles her for more love. Let’s say you are a 6 and your girlfriend is a 9. How long do you think it’s going to be before you’re writing her sappy poems and buying her flowers? Two dates?

Similarly, if you’re a girl who’s dating Tiger Woods and you catch him throwing a flirty glance at a waitress, you might do something crazy like this. (Thanks to Justin for the pointer. My readers always come through with great links.)

I believe it’s a good idea for men to get practice dominating a woman so fully she loses all dignity around him. Date at least one woman who is lower than you in dating market value and watch with wonder how little effort you have to put into the relationship. This will instill you with the right attitudes to have with the hotter women you truly wish to date — namely, aloofness, carelessness and selfishness.

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The Easiest Way To Revive A Flagging Relationship

Beta backsliding is a fact of life. Even the hardest alphas will occasionally show flashes of humanity that rev their women’s shit testing engines. Most of these moments are brief and dismissible, but woe to the man who can’t recognize his embetafying ineptitude; he will slowly lose dominant control of his relationships until one day he’s so scared of his woman that he believes her when she says she’ll leave him if he goes through with a paternity test.

When you become experienced with women your alert system for beta backsliding is so honed that you can tell within seconds of your woman pulling away from you which of your behaviors was the cause. When your awareness of the sexual matrix is fully advanced, you will even be able to tell with frightening accuracy how your woman will react to your behavior *before she has reacted*. Like aural bullets of shit tests flying at you from all directions, your Neo Game will slow time and warp space, stopping her shit tests in front of you, which you then send right back at her with double the force. A master of female psychology (MFP) is indistinguishable from a clairvoyant, predicting women’s actions before they have happened based on nothing more than a well-developed understanding of a woman’s animal nature.

The day will come when you get so good at this that you will throw beta chum in the water just to amuse yourself with her predictable response, in much the same way women amuse themselves by wrapping lesser men around their fingers with ostentatious displays of cleavage or flirty signals of sexual interest.

Which brings us to our question: What does a man do when he has lost the upper hand and his relationship is on the fast track to fail if he doesn’t take steps to arrest it? First, he must assess what led him to his predicament. Did he hug her too tightly in public? Did he make kissy face with her in front of other men? Did he nestle his head in her lap? Did he say “sorry”? Did he cry after sex? Did he do all of these things plus tell her she’s beautiful? If so, then he shouldn’t be surprised if she complains about his PDA, or moans about spending too much time together.

When a woman pulls back, a typical man’s instinct will be to try and fix his flagging relationship. Men do; that’s how we’re designed. Unfortunately, more often than not this male instinct to action will drive the nails into the coffin of his dying relationship. Most men overreact, either in the beta direction or the alpha direction. A beta will coo and pout and swarm with rays of undying love until his woman is repulsed and leaves him with her heart light and unburdened. An alpha will control and demean and lash out like an angry tyrant until his woman falls into the arms of a more charming man.

I have a better way. My advice is so simple that any man — from alpha to omega — can follow it with success. It’s this:

The easiest way to revive a flagging relationship is to cut off all contact.

That’s it. No routines to memorize, no alpha body language to learn, no reframing required; just one simple solution: Cut off all contact. No phone calls, no texts, no emails, no midnight drive-bys at her apartment. Nothing until she reinitiates contact with you.

And I guarantee that nine out of ten times she *will* reinitiate contact. Women cannot resist chasing a man who has made himself unavailable. The disappearing act is every man’s ace in the hole; women are nearly powerless to it. They have no defense. All it requires of the man is willpower. If you find it hard to be away from your woman’s pussy for more than a day, then you will have to find substitutes while in the No Contact Zone. A man on top of his game will have other women to service him. Lesser men will need to turn to porn or hookers. Or eat a lot of tofu and lick plastic bottles to lower his testosterone.

Depending on length of relationship and severity of the man’s beta offense, the No Contact Zone can last anywhere from a couple of days to a month. The beauty of this solution to revive a dying relationship is that even those rare times when she does not reinitiate contact you will have saved yourself time and energy dating a woman who was likely to dump you soon anyhow. And on the flimsiest pretext, like getting a smile from a high status bike messenger.

Note that I did not say this is the *best* method for rescuing a relationship on the rocks. I said it was the easiest method with the highest return for the minimal investment. If you’re a busy guy who can’t be bothered to run expert level effortless-seeming game, or if you’re a recovering beta who isn’t yet confident enough in his LTR game to risk a more proactive approach to a dying LTR, then the No Contact Zone is for you.

There’s one other thing you must know. If you don’t do this final step the right way then your No Contact Zone game will be for naught. Assuming she reinitiates contact (and she likely will), expect her to say something like this:

“Hey there! Haven’t heard from you in a while. What have you been up to?”

If your No Contact Zone game hit the mark, you will detect a hint of nervousness in her voice. Congratulations, sir, you have regained hand. BUT… you can lose it all if you in any way ACKNOWLEDGE the No Contact ruse. Like Fight Club, the first rule is to not talk about it. That means you act as if NOTHING IS UNUSUAL about your calculated time away from her.

“Hey, what’s up! Eh you know, the usual stuff, work, life. Did I tell you about my new hobby? Single malt scotch… oh yeeeah.”

This will, naturally, drive her mentally insane. Fitfully for us men, mental insanity in women triggers seismic gina tremors. She will invite herself over for (in her mind) make up sex. Your job is to step aside and let the hamster in her head spin itself to exhaustion as you fornicate to the wee hours.

One more thing. If she presses you on your absence, say by asking “Why haven’t you called me?”, you deny complicity in her frame. In other words, don’t allow yourself to get entrapped by her frame by answering defensively. Either deny her accusation (“You’re very forgetful. I called you a few days ago.”) or reframe the conversation to a focus on her clinginess (“I didn’t know I was supposed to call you every single second of the day. Aw, it’s cute that you think about me so much. Adorable!”)

Played right, No Contact Zone game is absolutely devastating to a woman’s sense of relationship entitlement and her bloated hypergamous ego.

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Discovering A Girl’s Soul With One Simple Question

I’ve written before on the practical importance of screening girls for their worthiness as long term sex partners and as a sly game tactic for making yourself seem choosier to a woman you are trying to pick up. I will now share with you a question I ask girls I have been dating for a few weeks that has served me well as a psychological dissection tool for determining a woman’s true personality and value system. This sort of knowledge is invaluable because it offers the time-pressed player a quick and dirty shortcut for teasing out overall compatibility with a woman. If you have the near-telepathic power to discover LTR incompatibility early on, then you will be in a position to withhold investing too much of your resources in a woman while still enjoying sexing her. An analogy would be to renting a beach home versus building your own beach home (minus insurance). If you knew ahead of time that a hurricane would hit one year from now and wash away to the sea all your hard work, would you bother building it? Or would you decide it’s better to just rent a beach home on a seasonal basis, or maybe look for a different beach to plunder?

This is the question I ask women:

“Imagine you could only go to one of two places for vacation. One place is Spain, where you will enjoy coffee at sidewalk cafes while people watching, lounging on beautiful beaches under a warm sun, visiting cultural landmarks and museums, and dancing and drinking away the night in exciting clubs. You ride up and down narrow streets on a scooter, eating the best food Spain has to offer and learning to speak a few words of Spanish. The other place is Antarctica (Or Patagonia or Tibet. Season to taste.), where you will be alone with the wonder and power of the natural world, your breath taken away by awesome sights and incredible wildlife, giant glaciers loom over you and the rocky beach is filled with penguins and elephant seals. You are at one with nature, your stress melting away, and you feel alive. Which vacation do you choose?”

How a girl answers this question will reveal a lot more about her than simply what she enjoys doing on vacation. Note that the trick is to emphasize the positive aspects of each vacation destination. You want her to make her choice in a happy frame of mind, free of negative associations. Pay attention, because her answer — and the follow-up questions you will ask, such as “How does that make you feel?” — will tell you a lot about how she approaches everything in life, including relationships and men.

Here is what I have learned:

If the girl answers “Spain”…

• She is likely to be a status whore
• She is likely to do hard recreational drugs, or think about doing them
• She will be high maintenance
• She likes to dress in sexy clothes
• Her shoes are plentiful and nonfunctional
• She is a raving liberal who loathes rules, timetables, and schedules
• She is spontaneous
• She is flaky
• She is generous of spirit
• She will go out of her way to make sure everyone is having fun
• She is malleable
• She is dependent
• She is admiring
• She is exasperating
• She is a drama queen
• She wants kids, eventually
• She likes cats
• She generally likes people
• She is whimsical
• She is a glib optimist
• She frets
• She cries
• She will expect you to pay
• She loves shopping, especially on your dime
• She cares what kind of car you drive, the shoes you wear, the TV you own
• She will love getting jewelry from you
• She has a lot of superficial yenta screechaholic friends and gay boyfriends
• She prefers making love whenever and wherever the mood strikes
• She is pro-PDA
• She is an attention whore
• She is an incorrigible flirt
• She gets turned on when you ignore her
• She just wants a man who will understand her
• She is more aroused by a man’s social status than by his charm or looks
• She is extraverted
• She hates hates hates betas
• She loves badboys
• She desperately, secretly wishes to submit to a dominant man, in all ways and at all times
• She is more like her mother than her father
• She was popular in high school
• She lost her virginity later in life than you would think
• She is not particularly adventurous, but she is silly fun
• She is a party girl
• She is afraid of food
• She has an anal fixation
• She huffs lurid gossip
• She’ll keep you guessing
• She is ultrafeminine
• She might cheat and you will find out
• She has an STD and will deny if you ask
• She will heal or she will break your heart

If the girl answers “Antarctica”…

• She won’t care very much what you do for a living or how much you make
• She has smoked pot and prefers beer to cosmos
• She will be low maintenance
• She won’t dress sexily very often, and when she does it will seem unnatural on her
• Her shoes are few and functional
• She is a raving liberal who loves rules, timetables, and schedules
• She is a planner
• She is intractable
• She is selfish at heart
• She will go out of her way to make sure she is having fun
• She is set in her ways
• She is independent
• She is circumspect
• She is reliable
• She is serenity now
• She is often adamant about not wanting kids
• She likes dogs
• She generally hates people
• She is grounded
• She is a cynical fatalist
• She compartmentalizes
• She snarks
• She will almost always pay half, without hesitation
• She hates shopping, and has few yuppie possessions
• She hates materialism and prefers items with “character” instead of “price tag”
• She will love getting homemade cards from you
• She has no gay boyfriends and the few friends she has are nerdy
• She prefers making love in the bedroom
• She is anti-PDA
• She avoids drawing attention to herself
• She doesn’t know how to flirt
• She gets annoyed if she thinks you aren’t listening to her
• She just wants a man who will respect her
• She is more aroused by a man’s personality and looks than by his social status
• She is introverted
• She tolerates betas
• She is wary of badboys
• She hates controlling men, but will often wish a man would take the initiative and lead instead of her doing it all the time
• She is more like her father than her mother
• She was invisible in high school
• She lost her virginity earlier in life than you would think
• She is adventurous, but not silly fun
• She is a spiritual girl
• She loves eating
• She has an oral fixation
• She relishes moments of solitude and silence
• She’ll keep you wondering if you can do better
• She has some masculine personality traits
• She might cheat and you won’t find out
• She has an STD and will admit it if you ask
• She will heal or she will break your soul

Analyze these two lists. Which girl would you prefer to date long term? Which girl do you believe best complements your lifestyle and values? As you can see, both types of women have their advantages and disadvantages. Which advantages are more important to you and which disadvantages you despise more than the others will depend on what kind of man you are and how well you can tolerate shortcomings in the women you choose to bless with the pleasure of your company.

It’s too bad you can’t find all the positives with few of the negatives of these two lists in the same girl. I have searched near and far for such an exquisite creature but my efforts to date have been fruitless. Or perhaps my standards are extraordinarily high. Either way, my standards aren’t budging, so the search continues… joyfully.

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Cornered!

I’ve got a very important post up at men’s magazine The Spearhead for my Friday Night Game weekly series. Excerpt:

There are only three things that drain the blood faster from a man’s face than the thought of erectile dysfunction:

1. When your wife serves you divorce papers.
2. When you catch your woman fooling around with another man.
3. When your woman busts you for cheating.

The first two, luckily, haven’t happened to me, but the last one has… multiple times. And from those trials by ovarian fire I have learned a few valuable lessons. I’m here to tell you what to do — or, more precisely, what *not* to do — when your girl jabs the infidelity finger of accusation in your face.

Read about my recommendations for correctly handling a suspicious woman who (justifiably) accuses you of cheating. This is can’t miss information for the man who likes to keep a few on the side.

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