The International Symbol Of Feminism

For the reason why this symbol was chosen by an elite selection committee, see here.

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Google Is A Left Wing Propaganda Ministry

Do a Google search on “Lincoln Memorial“. Glenn Beck, a conservative radio host, and Tea Party activists are having a rally in front of the Lincoln Memorial tomorrow.

Really, Google?

Here’s to Bing taking more of Google’s business. The infants are running the commie camp over there.

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A Chateau Emissary Delivers Speech To International Bankers

Here is the audio transcript (courtesy of reader johnny five):

Butthex Entitlement – Davos World Economic Forum

Let’s hope the powers that be listen before it’s too late.

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Relationship Advice From A Supermodel

An Australian supermodel, Miranda Kerr, has put together a list of tips men should follow to keep their women happy and their relationships strong. (Article courtesy of reader J.N.)

Kerr revealed her top 10 romance tips to readers of AskMen.com, who voted her most desirable Australian woman in the world. They are:

1. Buy the right size

2. Listen to her

3. Connect with her

4. Know what you want

5. Don’t be afraid to show her love

6. Tell her she is beautiful and romance her

7. Get a baby sitter

8. Be healthy

9. Pamper her

10. Treat her like a goddess

Fascinating! In the interest of generous reciprocation, I offer my list of Chateau-approved tips for women to help keep the romance alive in their relationships.

1. Spend his money to buy yourself clothes in the right size. Men like it when they are made to feel like dutiful ATMs.

2. Talk to him. Constantly.

3. Connect with him emotionally. Sex should be an afterthought to connection.

4. Know what you want from him.

5. Don’t be afraid to withdraw love. Men like to chase.

6. Tell him he is your best friend. Punctuate with warm hug and three pats on the back.

7. Get a baby sitter so that he may spend lots of money on you at fancy restaurants and the theater so that you return home too tired for sex.

8. Be healthy. Duh. This needed its own tip?

9. Ignore him.

10. Treat him like a therapist… who also happens to be penis-less.

~~~

Naturally, Chateau decorum insists on the utmost adherence to sarcasm when the moment calls for it. This was on of those moments. The lovely Miranda Kerr’s list may as well have been titled “Top 10 Romance Tips for Men Who are Already Alpha Enough to Afford Handicapping Their Attractiveness”, or perhaps “Bottom 10 Romance Tips for Beta Males Who Yearn for the Closure of Being Dumped”.

Similarly, my list would work great for 9s and 10s who are dating men so grateful to be with them that the men will put up with all sorts of shit. For the rest of womankind, my romance tips would have any man with a shred of dignity and a molecule of testosterone left in his sack running for the hills.

Kerr’s list — and just about all female relationship advice — neatly demonstrates one of the Chateau’s maxims:

CR Maxim #57: Never trust a woman’s advice on how to please women. Her advice is designed for alpha men she already finds attractive and from whom she seeks signals of attainability and commitment.

Corollary to Maxim #57: A woman’s sex and relationship advice isn’t meant to help men; it’s meant to distract men from what really works to turn women on.

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Contrast Is King

Was sent this photo, with the following message:

“First I saw the two barking rats, then I saw the guy walking them. Talk about an odd pairing! The dude had tattoos on his skull, and looked tough. Not like the herb or homo I thought he would be. And there he is, with two runty toy dogs. One of the dogs walked like it had a cucumber up its ass.”

This is an excellent example of someone defying expectations. Does anyone doubt this dude gets laid like gangbusters? I bet his idea of a brothel is the local dog park. And he pays in cloyingly cute toy poodle dollars.

I’ve written before about how important contrast is to your game. Contrast, like its social dynamics cousins vulnerability game and being unpredictable, is a status signal of alphaness. When women see a man defy convention, or wantonly fuck around with societal expectation, they think “Oh, he must be an alpha, because only an alpha could risk stepping out of line like that.” Or when they hear a man reveal a potentially status damaging vulnerability at odds with his image of strength, they think “He must be really alpha to confess his fear of parrots.”

No, seriously, that’s the way women think. Subconsciously, at least.

Contrast game is also a variety of handicap game, a powerful technique for subcommunicating genetic superiority. Like bright, heavy plumage on a peacock, tattoos signal that a man is so genetically fit (and symmetrical) that he can afford the risk to his health and looks that getting inked with needles will mean for him. Skull tattoo dude in the above photo actually has a double handicap whammy advertising his alpha genetic fitness — he’s enduring both the disfigurement of tattoos *and* the public humiliation of walking two gay ass pooches. (I bet he’s telling the other dude to be careful where he steps.)

How powerful a psychological mindfuck is contrast? Two words:

Susan Boyle.

That ugly broad got on stage and, in the teeth of a hostile, pitying audience, sang the shit out of “I Dreamed A Dream”. Result? Standing ovation, tears flowing like a river, and eight million copies of her debut album sold in the first six weeks. For a more recent example of the contrast phenomenon, check out this video of Janey Cutler, the 80 year old singer who elicits the same reaction from an audience expecting something entirely different.

That, my friends, is the awesome power of contrast. Now imagine what it can do for your notch count.

So, you ask, how do I translate this theme of contrast into practical game advice? I can offer a few suggestions.

• If you’re meeting a girl for a dinner after work, and you’re in a business suit, take her to your favorite dive bar or hipster joint after the dinner. She’ll be pleasantly surprised that a professional such as yourself feels just at home in a dump as in a fancy restaurant. (Note: You really shouldn’t be taking girls you haven’t fucked to fancy restaurants.)
• Does she think your political views are antiquated? Good. Now take her out to a progressive-oriented art show filled with pseudointellectual revolutionary crackpots. She’ll start to wonder what else about you she doesn’t know.
• Speak streetwise, but occasionally drop a big word in your conversation. Intellectual dominance is to smart chicks like physical dominance is to prole chicks.
• If you’re a very masculine man, peacock with a feminine accessory, like an ornate bracelet or an earring. If you’re naturally foppish, try wearing masculine accessories, like a big honking watch or combat boots.
• Approach a girl like a typical beta, asking her innocuous questions about how she likes living in the city. Once you have lulled her into an anhedonic stupor, hit her with a neg. Consider her look of surprise a step closer to intimacy.
• Did you meet a girl online and tell her about your starched shirt job? Then show up to the date wearing something boldly stylish. Her mind will race with thoughts of a secret life you’re hiding from her.
• Similarly, if you’re a suit-wearing type of guy, a well-placed tattoo on the inner forearm can do wonders to stir excitement. Just manufacture an excuse to roll up your sleeves, and watch her eyes light up.
• Regale her with adventure stories that are completely at odds with her image of you. For instance, if you’re an accountant, mention the time you spent in the Congo with the little-known aid group Accountants Without Borders, and how you budgeted the goats for the local village.
• Talk about how you voted for George Bush, then give a buck to a homeless bum you happen to pass by while walking with her. (Alternatively, you could reverse this sequence if you want to crush the girl’s hopes. After sucking up to her no-doubt SWPLian worldview, offhandedly announce after sex how you recently joined the NRA “to get some shootin’ practice for the big game animals you like to hunt”.)

Contrast is the reason why ugly guys can sometimes do better with women than handsome guys. A handsome man is expected to have his act together in all other ways; in comparison, nothing much is expected of ugly men. So an ugly man who spits tight game will pleasantly surprise a woman while a good looking man with game will simply confirm what she already believed to be true. And when it comes to making an impression on women, which man do you think she’ll remember more? That’s right, the man who surprised her out of her lazy thinking.

All humans want to be fascinated. Kurt Cobain had it right — here we are now, entertain us. Men are entertained by tits, ass and face. Women are entertained by male charisma and psychosocial savviness. They want to be kept on their toes, forever wondering what kind of man you are. Defying a woman’s expectations is the equivalent of a big-boobed woman taking off her sweater and shoving her cleavage in a man’s face. Her fond memory of you will linger well into the next day.

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MS Paint Windows To The Soul

As a tribute to the regular guests of the Chateau, I’ve honored them with stick figure portraits. Can you match the following MS Paint masterpieces to their eponymous titles in the answer key below?

A:

B:

C:

D:

E:

F:

Answer Key

1. Peter (GNP guy)

2. Single Mom

3. Poetry of Flesh

4. David Alexander

5. Me fleeing from an irate husband

6. Greatbooksformen

***

And here’s a bonus MS Paint! This time, no answer key. Let’s see if you can figure out the title without help.

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Preschoolers Working It

Want to feel dirty? Watch:

(Hat tip: reader Seth)

These little girls are pretty good dancers. Some of the commenters argue they aren’t doing anything sexual. Looks to me like they are performing the exact same sexy dance moves as grown women with boobs and butt. Drop it, shake it, split it, girly!

I really wonder what goes through the minds of parents who would skank up their five year old daughters. Preparing them for a world of assholes, players and game? That reasoning would at least make some sense. When you are saturated in a femicentric culture that places no obligation on women, removes all slut shaming, and releases them from dependence on men’s resources, then the natural result is a race to the base that exalts women’s good-to-go sexuality far above all other values, as that is the last standing value that has any currency left in a wide open, marriage-averse mating market. And what better way to make sure your little angel knows the right moves to get more attention from the boys than the other whorelets than by decking her out in bra and panties onstage and teaching her the fine art of suctioning her privates to the floor. I bet single moms are more prone to doing this sort of experimentation with their bastard spawn.

“Here, little Jenny, put on this sequined stripper outfit.”

“Here, little Johnny, try your first cigarette. And good job beating up that kid at school! Girls love that in a man.”

People wonder why there are so many douchebags, assholes, and players roaming the high school halls of America. Where have all the good men gone?, cry women.

Ladies, you get the men you deserve.

The time has come to institute a parenting test for all would-be mothers. If you fail the test, you get sterilized, or your child gets sent to an orphanage at birth. At the very least, we should be removing any and all welfare statist safety nets from the bottom of burgeoning wombs. If you can’t raise a kid without state aid or corporate aid (paid maternity leave is a form of consumer-supported welfare that enables single motherhood), then it dies in the street. Viva la abortion!

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