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Archive for the ‘Ridiculousness’ Category

I was holding glans with a girl as we sidewalked past a precious vintage wig boutique. Instinctively, and perhaps subconsciously motivated by a suddenly retrieved pleasant memory of this girl, I steered my accomplice into the wig shop and bought a pair of cheapo matching wigs (styled after REDACTED), on the condition that we both would have to wear the wigs for the rest of the day (and night) without giving our game away to anyone who asked us about our wigly appearance.

The idea was that we’d play it straight, as if the wigs were our naturally matching hair textures and colors, sincerely questioning the confusion of those who’d wonder about the sight of us, and in the suppressed comedy of our little two-character play a rush of sexual frisson would lube our bonding time.

I know this nurtured playfulness sounds like an awful chore to a lot of men, but a couple facts you should keep with you: one, what would be a bore to do alone is a lot of fun with a partner in crime and two, when you see that doggy dinner bowl look that a girl gives you as you sweep her into your flight of fancy you’ll learn to love the power of your whimsy over women.

Chicks dig playful men, of all ages. Maybe it’s because there aren’t many playful men, so the few who do exist are noticed by women. I think instead it’s that women are the playful sex, and they feel a stronger connection to men who can not just match their playfulness but surprise them with their own. Evolutionarily, there is likely a sexual selection effect in women for whimsical men because whimsy reveals a creative mind, and male creativity is a secondary sex characteristic no less alluring to women than strong pecs and a square jaw.

Older men reading here should try hard to be more whimsical. You can be playful with masculine verve too; whimsy is not only the domain of effete artist types. Unfortunately for the mediocre masses of beta males, whimsy and energy are the two traits that rapidly and mercilessly decline with age, until a man’s personality and passion are a shrunken relic of his former pussy-parting glory. But for those men who can keep their energy level up and their whimsy performance-tuned, they will find that younger women will barely blink an eye at the thought of dating them.

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After you read this incredibly Millennial news story, you’ll understand why I titled this post “The Voluntarily Sexless Marriage” instead of “The Voluntarily Celibate Marriage”. Our platonically married couple isn’t celibate at all; they’re just celibate for each other.

The sexless marriage is a timeless rue with an explainable kernel of pedestrian truth to it, but at least it can be said for men trapped in age-independent sexless marriages that their woeful predicament wasn’t contractually inked before the vows were exchanged. Not so for Tiffany Trump’s newlywed friends:

When New York socialites Quentin Esme Brown and Peter Cary Peterson got hitched in Las Vegas over the weekend in front of a small group of friends — including Tiffany Trump, who acted as the flower girl — they knew that people would make some assumptions. Either they were madly in love or drunk, right? In reality, the best friends said they were neither. They’re planning to make theirs a sexless, open marriage, they explained, and this actually sounds like a pretty wise idea to relationship experts.

100% of chaimstream media approved “relationship experts” are charlatans.

“Sexless marriage”. An irretrievably broken, anhedonic society at war with the reality of innate sex differences takes the one redeeming feature of marriage and tosses it away.

A sexless marriage is pointless, but a sexless, OPEN marriage is just plain malicious, because those super progressive, feminist friendly polyamorous arrangements never benefit both parties equally; it’s usually the slutty woman getting her rocks off down the hall as her moans of ecstasy drive her incel “partner” crazy with murder-suicide ideation.

“He has always been my soulmate in every sense of the word

Women and men have competing definitions of “soulmate”. Men tend to emphasize the “mate” part of the term.

and we felt mutually that Vegas was the place to finalize our commitment to partnership,” Brown explained on Instagram. “Peter and I are not romantically involved — in fact we are still dating others and will continue to seek love in all forms — we are just each other’s hearts and wish to begin our journey towards evolution, because the more we face reality, the more we can see that there is no right or wrong.”

Poopytalk. They’re doing the opposite of facing reality; they’re hiding from it under cover of Clown World’s Cloak of Inchoateness. If Tiffany Trump’s friends are indicative of Tiffany’s own views, it’s no wonder Papa Trump practically disowned her.

Susan Pease Gadoua, a licensed therapist

Licensed to bilk.

and co-author of The New “I Do,” has yet to meet anyone else with this kind of marriage, but she says it fits in with the way she sees many people deciding to change the rules to suit their relationship needs.

Dope. People aren’t changing the rules to suit their piques; they’re lowering their expectations and adapting to the encroaching jungle.

“We don’t need to get married for any of the reasons we used to,”

Including but not limited to reasons such as reproduction and generational continuity.

Gadoua tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “Once you’ve got everything else in place, it is like the cherry on top.”

But Brown and Peterson don’t seem to have married for children. So why get married at all?

The question with no answer that won’t sound like a try-hard rationalization.

“We did this because we wanted to finalize our commitment to each other as life partners and best friends,” Peterson wrote on Instagram.

What happened to mutually presumed and unspoken loyalty between friends? If you have to rely on the imprimatur of State authorization to declare your shared friendship, you don’t have anything remotely resembling a friendship. Instead, you have a pose. Two attention whores jockeying for social status within their group of unloveable weirdos.

Brown also put a statement on Instagram, saying, “I am confident my husband and I will break some walls down,” she wrote.

If your official terms of endearment preclude fucking, he’s not your husband.

Husband:

before 1000; Middle English husband(e), Old English hūsbonda master of the house

You haven’t consecrated a house for him to master. You’re two neutered farm animals who happen to be dozing in the same bed of hay and dried manure.

“A lot of these sorts of marriages are in response to society getting increasingly isolated, and people want to create a kinship model. You either have to be married or you have to be blood relatives; otherwise, you can walk away from each other.”

Like I wrote, adaptation to the r-selected jungle.

This kind of union may in fact last longer than a marriage based solely on intense romantic attraction, Gadoua surmises.

Well, sure. Because it isn’t a marriage. It’s a zero-investment masquerade. It’s easy to let a “sexless, open marriage” linger for eternity because the cost of upkeep and dissolution is negligible. No romantic reward, no romantic risk.

The other advantage is that the friends can seek out those romances outside of this relationship. In this way, their setup resembles the kind of polyamorous arrangement that some couples have found to be a better alternative to divorce.

“Some couples” = a few physically and psychologically repulsive losers who can’t hack it in the human sphere where standards still exist.

“Where the complications are going to come in is when people outside their relationship look at it like, ‘I don’t want to get involved in that,’” Gadoua says. “It’s going to make it a little bit more complicated for them to find partners who understand.”

GIRL: hey I’m free for that drink Thursday, but I should tell you I’m married to a great guy, but we never have sex. It’s in our vows.

THE DEVIL’S HARD BARGAIN: fantastic! you sound totally normal. I’m scratching you in now as my third stringer.

Rodman also cautions that this won’t work if one partner isn’t being entirely honest about what he or she wants in this relationship.

“If one person was secretly hoping that this would turn into something romantic or sexual, then that would be quite the disappointment,” she says.

The Voluntarily Sexless Marriage is the next evolution in beta male bait. Watch for hordes of thirsty betas to jump in with both feet hoping a piece of worthless paper has the power to unplug the tingle spigot.

But if we’re to take Brown and Peterson at their word, they’re pretty happy with their decision so far.

“We have one life,” Brown wrote. “Free yourself!”

Combined IQ: 1

Time for a Phys Quiz. The glowing, and strangely tense, lovebirds:

Hm mm mm. So progressive! Tiffany Trump’s friend married her gay bestie. Cameras and Yahoo blog typists are standing by….

PS I was planning to award Peter Peterson both the coveted Beta of the Month and White Male Pussy of the Month titles, but as you can see from the picture above, those titles aren’t applicable.

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It goes by other names:

The Male Feminist Rictus
Soylent Grin
The Soyboy Void
The Castrate Gape
Moneyshot Face
The Shartle
The Prog Agog
The Awestruck Chucklefuck
The Human Gloryhole

Apparently, these low T wonderboys are mimicking an emoji. Grown nerds reduced to male bonding across a vast cultural emptiness via an iphag cartoon face, linking up in a shared snark experience so they can forget for a second how much time they spent in lockers. The always invigorating TOG put it best,

Nerds are always mining the internet for quirky frontier jibberish that they can then copy and emulate and pass off as their own to other nerds IRL.  However all the nerds are online in the current year +2 and they’re all seeing the same cultural references at the same time so theres no originality, no character, no uniqueness – just the same quotes from the same latest episode of GoT.  Emulating emojis is just the latest iteration of this trend. Before this it was emulating anime characters and before that it was emulating saturday morning cartoon characters and sci fi characters.  These broken f****ts are brainwashed by jewish media 100%.  They cant wait for the next episode of Rick and Morty to come out so they can memorize it fast as possible to get all the snarky lines and regurgitate them back to their robot nerd friends so they can sound and act like the nerd actors they have been programmed by Hollywood to emulate.  This has been the problem with our culture since jews took it over about 100 years ago.  The jews demoralize the American population to control us; they make us feel weak, ineffective and worthless using tv advertisements to make it seem as if the only option to not be weak is to act like Sloth Rogan, or act like Will Smiff, or act like Ross from Friends.  All the ugly beta nerds are scurrying around trying not to look like ugly beta nerds and the best they can come up with is emulating Hollywood programming and mimicking cartoon facial expressions.  All they have to do is some light aerobic exercise, lift weights and eat right but they refuse.

Personally, I think these nümales are subconsciously assuming a submissive facial expression. The whole world is a silverback ape to them (including the women) and they respond with a gaping piehole showing both rows of teeth to assuage predators that they mean them no disrespect nor designs on their primacy.

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Fred Reed, shilling again for his Mexican mamacita, the pro-White Mexican government, and the Mexican cartels no doubt itching to behead an expat gringo if he doesn’t sufficiently tongue bathe their country, gave his game away with this leetle throwaway line:

…succeeding generations [of illegal beaners in the US] are losing their identification as Hispanics, also hardly a surprise, and also that intermarriage is high. Is this not assimilation?

Yes, Fred, intermarriage is assimilation….because intermarriage is miscegenation, and as anyone with a lick of common sense knows, one way to bring disparate peoples together is to dissolve the genetic racial differences between them.

So Fred is on record as a believer in Race Reality, which makes him a racialist, or in today’s parlance, a racist. He also throws his support behind a soft genocide that, however voluntarily committed to, has the same result as a hard genocide.

Now, unlike Fred, who obviously hates human diversity (but loves elitist Diversity™), I appreciate human diversity and don’t want to see precious White genes and all that flows from those genes extinguished from the earth in a refried bean paste of brownly mediocrity that produces more flatulence than taste.

Enjoy the comments at that idiotic slobber sonnet from a nervous traitor to his new countrymen (for instance, Fred appears to be ignorant of recent history, thinking deportations are impossible though they have been accomplished twice in the US, under Eisenhower and FDR); the shivving of Fred’s old coot hide by so much Realtalk is a marvelous thing, and maybe it’ll knock some sense into him. Doubtful, though. That tequila taco can really cloud an old man’s mind.

“aye yi yi, Freeeeed, you tell those alt-gringoes to go to infierno, or you no get theees toniiiight….*points at her no-hipped sausage body cooch*….comprender mi big macho cigarhombre? you call them racists tu heeear meeee?! para la raza!!”

PS Hilariously, Fred posted a photo of a semi-attractive Latina to add filler to his weak sauce, and The Anti-Gnostic replied with more realistic photographic evidence of the sort of señoras hopping our border:

***

A great comment from The Question,

“Assimilation” essentially translates into not being able to talk about anything we disagree on that can produce conflict, which includes everything that gives people meaning and identity such as history, religion, customs, heritage, and tradition. The only thing we’ll be able to discuss is the weather, the clothing stores we shop at, which sports teams we vicariously live through, and which prescription drugs or booze we use to distract us from the misery of our collective situation.

It’s no wonder support for the First Amendment is declining as America gets browner: the invading hordes don’t give a rat’s whisker about the White Man’s principles, and the White Woman doesn’t want to hurt the invaders’ feelings so she’s more than willing to throw 1A under the bus. Fred doesn’t care about high-falutin’ abstractions like that though. He just wants to virtue snivel about racist White Americans.

Go fuck yourself, Fred, before the cartels do it for you. Your Mexican wife’s mood is not my moral crisis.

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From the #MeTooPlease vault:

In wake of Matt Lauer’s firing, NBC reportedly cracks down on hugging, asks employees to tell on each other

[…]

The source also informed Page Six that “staffers have been told that if they find out about any affairs, romances, inappropriate relationships or behavior in the office, they have to report it to human resources, their superior or the company anti-harassment phone line.”

Since when did consensual office romances become sexual harassment? Oh yeah, since bitter aging has-been whores deemed it so.

Imagine the type of person who’d be willing and eager to snitch on a co-worker having an office romance. The caricature that comes to mind is a giant, walking pussyhat. Nasty Womanhood, Inc. The anti-sex schoolmarms are on the loose.

The mass movement of women into the workforce and its consequences have been a disaster for Western nations.

To take it to the next level, the source further claimed NBC’s new rules stipulate employees wishing to hug one another “have to do a quick hug, then an immediate release, and step away to avoid body contact” and are forbidden from sharing taxis home or, oddly, “taking vegans to steakhouses.”

We need a new word to describe the hysterically man-hating, anhedonic feminist dystopia that’s unfolding at a rapid clip in America. Gynarchy doesn’t quite nail it. Prisstopia?

This would all be stupidly funny if it wasn’t dead serious, but tbh i’m not a fan of the hugging trend. Compulsory hugs between acquaintances phags up male friendships and desexualizes potential romances between men and women. Thanks, Shrillennials! But I think we’ve hit Peak Hug. Gen Zyklon is bringing back head nods, and with them, a return to electric sexual polarity.

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Londonistan calling. I can’t tell if this is subversive street art satirizing post-moderinity or a sincere cry for self-abnegation. The educated guess is that it’s sincere, given that White Brits have become a Jim Jones cuck cult.

We all need a dendrite cleanser after that: Based boy makes pro-White Pepe hand sign during a meeting with President Trump.

Look at the shit-eating smirk on that little Whitelord. America is gonna be all right, after all. In due time she’ll fall into the loving care of a whole generation of ZFG Trumps.

A reader remarks,

This is actually no joke lol I’ve seen several kids doing that shit constantly. I told one if he knew it’s a Nazi sign. He answers, and I quote:

“Yes I already knew it meant white power or something thats offensive to lesbian dance theory majors”

This kid is like 12 LOL

Let’s face it, secret society pro-white hand signals under the noses of the Globohomo elite that provoke the jewish interest media to spill vats of ink dissecting for nefarious intent are so much cooler than any rebellious act the Left has done in the past fifty years of their cultural dominance.

A lot of the hatred on the Left for the dissident Right is motivated by artistic and aesthetic envy. Case in point: If hillary had come up with MAGA, the Left would have creamed themselves over her superior branding skills.

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Alpha Or Beta?

This one’s a close call. In a poorly written “news” story, Jennifer quit her day job to breastfeed her boyfriend Brad.

However, they have a very unique bond that has caused Jennifer to quit her job. The former bartender is now planning to stay at home and begin what is known as an adult breastfeeding relationship. […]

Jennifer has taken a leave of absence from work in order to further the relationship. She consumes herbal drinks and pills that are designed to stimulate milk flow. Brad is also excited about the health benefits that her milk has to offer. He is a workout buff who prides himself on working hard to look good for the woman he cares about most.

They plan to become married one day. For now, they are in no rush at all. Jennifer and Brad have yet to tell the whole world about their relationship, but they have shared the news with a few close friends.

Woops, whole world notified!

The Breastfeeders:

Literally breastfeeding as an adult is beta, but persuading your girl to turn her life upside so you can latch onto her tits all day long and suckle at her life force is alpha.

When my ability to judge a situation like this one is so badly clouded by contradictory inputs, I revert to the old stand-by criterion: How hot is the dude’s girlfriend? She’s a 3 or, generously, a 4, so my verdict is that breastfeederboy is beta.

PS The most important factoid from the story:

She has never fed a baby of her own.

That’ll be all, clickbait internet. That’ll be all.

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