Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘Rules of Manhood’ Category

From anonymous, a worthy COTW winner,

The other day I was explaining to my son what Easter is actually about. How Jesus came to earth to be the ultimate sacrifice for all of us as before, the specials used to sacrifice an animal, or a person, to atone for their sins. However, some special people found that his teachings were hurting their business so they killed him. My son, who is 8, asked me a question, “Wouldn’t God be more mad at the specials for killing an innocent animal or a person instead of just asking to be forgiven?”

kidssaythegoyestthings.txt

From the mouths of babes comes truth and this explains a lot about the curse that the specials live under, but I digress.

This got me thinking about how Jesus is a good example of how to disrupt an economically powerful majority.

We Heritage Americans are afraid. Afraid to speak up, afraid to stand up because if we do, there is a megaton of economic weaponry aimed at taking everything we have and putting us on the street.

We already see this in action with the mass demonetizations of Gaypal and Chosen bank customers who have been identified as thought criminals.

Here’s the thing. When Jesus found disciples there was one rule – they had to walk away from everything else. As a young man I always thought this was ridiculous – what sort of man would leave behind his family, friends and business? It is only now that I understand. When you walk away from all that, then there is nothing your enemies can take away from you except your life and that is the most defensible position.

Perhaps more Heritage Americans need to understand that all this shit we think is so important – a career, a shitty condo, a car you make payments on are not things we should worry about losing, they are the yokes that keep us afraid to speak and live the truth.

Acts, Chapter 2 vs 44-45 – “And all that believed were together, and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need.”

The specials know that the average man is a slave to his own image of himself which is a garish reflection of his debt bondage. All that we “have” is not ours anyway as it can be taken away at any time.

When you have nothing to lose, then you can truly walk in the light.

Peace be unto you.

It’ll come down to a choice:

Either Heritage Americans walk away from all that, or all that will be taken from them.

And by then, it will be too late.

My suggestion, to start feeling like your own man again: connect with the earth. Get in the dirt. Feel it run through your fingers. Gaze at the sky. Lose yourself in the forest. Admire the stars on a still night.

These are the things you’ll miss when your run has come to its end. Not the cars, condos, cubicles, or Clitflix vids.

To disrupt an entrenched, corrupt establishment, you must first disrupt yourself.

Read Full Post »

First, let’s get something straight. Most alpha males are benevolent sexists. I have personally never known an alpha male who held feminist views. I have known plenty of alpha males who cracked bawdy sexist jokes and made fun of feminists, male or female.

You may be inclined to believe otherwise by the shrill feminist mewling of highly visible “alpha” male actors and politicians, but outside of the twisted, lunatic fringe hothouses of Challahwood and Temple DC, your run of the mill Chads laugh at feminists when they aren’t pumping and dumping them.

Most male feminists are object lessons in soy overload. They look like this:

SEXUAL POLARITY INVERTED

A small minority of total male feminists are “prestige alphas” from the entertainment fields. These are the “real men” whom women point to when they say they are attracted to sensitive, male feminists. What they are really attracted to are famous, rich men. These women are the same who will promptly #PleaseMeToo the hordes of “allied” soydweebs who toady at their feet and lick their unisex Vans.

However, the worst male feminist archetype isn’t found among the loser soys. He’s the rarefied backwash of the “prestige alpha” subset. A very specific kind of male takes the feminist lies to heart and adopts it as his religion: the brooding beta reluctantly thrust into the role of prestige alpha by a lifestyle menu of achievement, introverted personality, and fortuitous circumstance.

A prime example is the late Kurt Cobain. I was reminded of this connection when his manager, the very special Danny Goldman, retold a story about Cobain refusing to play “Smells Like Teen Spirit” at a concert in Argentina because Cobain didn’t like how the fans treated the opening act, the all-female band Calamity Jane.

Kurt later shared his memories of the gig:

“When we played Buenos Aires, we brought this all-girl band over from Portland called Calamity Jane,” Kurt recalled. “During their entire set, the whole audience—it was a huge show with like sixty thousand people—was throwing money and everything out of their pockets, mud and rocks, just pelting them. Eventually the girls stormed off crying. It was terrible, one of the worst things I’ve ever seen, such a mass of sexism all at once. Krist, knowing my attitude about things like that, tried to talk me out of at least setting myself on fire or refusing to play. We ended up having fun, laughing at them (the audience). Before every song, I’d play the intro to ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ and then stop. They didn’t realize that we were protesting against what they’d done. We played for about forty minutes, and most of the songs were off Incesticide, so they didn’t recognize anything. We wound up playing the secret noise song (‘Endless, Nameless’) that’s at the end of Nevermind, and because we were so in a rage and were just so pissed off about this whole situation, that song and whole set were one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever had.

Our proto-pussyhatter and proud #Resistor Kurt Cobain, as is the wont of his barely male sex, misremembered the details of that show to validate his emotive ego.

If you watch the show (which is embedded below), you’ll realize that Kurt was misremembering or embellishing a bit here and there. While they did unearth a handful of rarities from their odds-n-ends collection Incesticide (which hadn’t been released yet), as well as “All Apologies” (it later turned up on In Utero), they also played most of Nevermind (but not “Teen Spirit,” which they teased before two songs), and a few of the highlights from Bleach. One thing Kurt failed to mention that they most certainly did do to annoy the crowd, was open with a strange, jam-like number that those in attendance had definitely never heard before.

There were, at the time, already a few all-girl bands in Buenos Aries. Most likely, the Argentine crowd wasn’t throwing stuff at the stage solely because it was an all-girl band, but because Calamity Jane sucked.

Anyhow, this gets me to my point about leaden, double-barreled male feminists like Cobain. Their anti-sexism virtue signaling is off the charts because of their fucked up psychologies that are a consequence of a lifetime of pussy pedestal polishing making sudden impact with pussy splooging fame and fortune. Many such cases end up resenting the hindbrain visit from nascent, boisterous, uncomplicated alpha maleness mocking their years of exquisitely ponderous, complicated beta forebrain-ness.

A beta brooder like Cobain wouldn’t have enough pre-fame experience with women to see the fairer sex in all its dirty, slutty glory, and when he is famous he would only see the best of women, who would treat him like a king while doing their damnedest to hide their personal flaws from him. I can’t think of a worse combination for misbelieving in the idea of emotionally evolved women laboring under the tyranny of sexist men than that found in the man who spent most of his life unacquainted with the seedy side of female nature, and then instantly acquainted with only the most lovingkindness and devoted side of women.

If you want to Believe All Women, have little experience with women and then have only good experiences with women. Skip over that part in the great, non-drug addled middle of your life where you tussle and tangle in the romance trenches with all-too-Darwinian women, getting eye- and thigh-opening experiences on the daily.

Make no mistake, Cobain was a beta at heart:

When the blond guy came over to thank her, she said she didn’t know at first that it was Kurt Cobain. Slight and soft-spoken, he certainly didn’t seem like the lead singer. She was expecting someone huskier, to match the big voice.

“I thought he was the roadie, I honestly did,” Lord said.

The beta brooder fetishizes women; to him, women are vulnerable dainty things — “n*ggers of the world”, as another beta brooder-turned-reluctant alpha male, John Lennon, put it — who can do no wrong and are constantly wronged by men. The pussy pedestal won’t tolerate any tarnishing.

Beta romanticization of transcendent women plus raw, immediate contact with earthly women (and consequently with his own primal instincts) produces an irritatingly earnest and aggressive male feminism that can and will lead innumerable follower beta males, who look up to such a man as a role model, down the path of interminable dry spells and shamefully emasculated behavior.

Another thing to be said for beta males thrust into alphahood is that they now find themselves able to easily afford the feminist posturing of their former beta selves without taking a hit to their sexual prospects, as they did back when they were nobodies futilely ingratiating themselves to women with vaginas as dilated as their ear gauges. This is the handicap principle at work; if a man can mouth inane feminist bromides and don a pussyhat without incurring a hit to his SMV, then he has hsmv to spare. Many soyboys try to ride the coattails of the handicap principle, mimicking the alpha male feminists who do get laid, only to discover that their innate soy-ness and lack of compensating fame, charm, or talent ensure that the handicap is real and the principle is discarded.

The soyboy male feminist supplicates to bluehairs to try and get laid easily. The reluctant alpha male feminist supplicates to womanhood to try and get laid not so easily.

The soyboy male feminist looks to save women to raise his status.

The reluctant alpha male feminist looks to women to save himself from his raised status.

FYI, these types of pedestalizing betas are mincemeat to conniving femme fatales like Courtney Love:

Lord and Cobain’s relationship has not been free of questions. They dated just before Cobain and Courtney Love, who has publicly accused Lord of harassment and trying to make a career off a fling with Cobain. Lord denies those claims, and says Love was the one who threatened her. …

A note faxed to the Boston Phoenix in 1993 and signed Kurt Cobain, in response to a profile of Lord in the newspaper, said Cobain was drunk in Boston when a “creepy girl came on to me.”

“I NEVER had a relationship with her,” the note read. “Please Mary whoever you are, leave me alone and see a therapist.”

Lord is convinced the note was a fake.

Lord’s instincts are right. Courtney Love wrote that note and shoved a pen in Cobain’s half-awake limp hand, guiding it to scrawl out his signature.

Lord’s story was also detailed by Cobain biographer Charles Cross and in the account of music writer and Cobain friend Everett True in his book “Nirvana: The Biography.” True says Lord “has almost been written out of the Kurt Cobain story.”

“Yet I have a strong memory from around this time of meeting a besotted Kurt going on and on about this girl called Mary Lou Lord, how in love with her he was, and how he was going to move to Boston to be with her,” True wrote. “A  fantasy perhaps, but he believed it at the time.”

Smells Like Beta Romantic. Charming, in its way, but also revealing of the inner turmoil which would catalyze Cobain’s self-destructiveness. The idealizing soft-spoken beta stumbled into the loud, shockingly primal world of alpha male snatch surplus where romance goes to die, and couldn’t make peace with the utter repudiation of how he had always seen himself.

Lord went to visit friends in London, confused. That night, she watched as Nirvana came on a British television program. Before the performance, Cobain said, “I just want everyone in this room to know Courtney Love, the lead singer of the pop band Hole, is the best F*** in the world.”

Lord was shocked.

“I had been with him the night before,” Lord said. “I didn’t know who Courtney Love was.”

The reluctant alpha male still needs his thrill of the hunt and the taste of his prey, breaking hearts along the way (and then projecting his existential guilt onto all men).

“I didn’t have to see [loneliness] in Kurt, I knew that in Kurt, I felt that in Kurt,” Lord said. “I could hear it even in his voice when he said ‘Please don’t leave.'”

Unlike a rock star, Lord believes Cobain didn’t crave attention when he performed — rather, he wanted the listener to see themselves reflected back in his songs. Lord believes Cobain saw music as a way to connect with others, to feel less alone. She describes the same kind of loneliness in singer-songwriter Elliott Smith, whom she met five or six months after Cobain’s suicide.

This woman has survived what can only be described as a record-breaking case of Alpha Widowhood.

Like Cobain, Smith took his own life. He was 34 when he died in 2003. Cobain and Smith never met, but Lord is positive Cobain would have adored Smith’s music.

We can’t say as much for the survival prospects of the men in Mary Lou Lord’s life. (had to go there)

RIP Kurt Cobain, rest ex utero.

Read Full Post »

I have argued, forcefully, against online dating as anything more than a hobbyist supplement to meat space seduction.

Online dating is a parched desert of beta male thirst and ego-stroked plain janes. Strike one.

Online dating weaponizes female hypergamy, where 80/20 (less generously, 90/10) is the law of the land. Strike two.

Online dating emphasizes crude male SMV metrics such as height, at the expense of equally enticing male SMV criteria such as charm, body language, and social dominance. Strike three.

Online dating in the Current Year selects for BPD women and coalburners, who can be good pump and dump material but not viable LTR candidates. You’re out!

Play around with online dating, but don’t lean on it to fill your pussy platter.

Don’t expect much, especially now, because online dating is converged and The Woke are turning it into a hypergamous funhouse where men have no leverage and women enjoy all the benefits. To wit, Tinder is adding height verification for men.*

I’m sure female weight, age, and N count verifications will be added soon. /rhetorical

Online dating is only going to get worse for men. My advice to men is to get off your phones and hit the streets, bars, clubs, etc. Old school is coming back.

Doug gives the best advice for under-90th percentile men who insist on squeezing the last bit of sour juice from the online dating lemon rind,

Just lie and turn on the charm when you meet.

Men can get away with blatant, easily exposed lies, because they have the possibility of winning women over with their confidence and jerk na sais quoi. A man who lied up about his height online can expertly reframe the initial meat space awkwardness and win the girl over, but a girl who lied down about her weight will never reframe a man’s turtling cock into a boner for her.

I’ll leave this post with a fantastic comment on this topic, by J. Y.,

Only 13% of men are 6′ tall or greater.  And in online dating sites, men under 6′ tall are LITERALLY invisible to women, because nearly all women use selection criteria that excludes 87% of men.

This means online dating is a waste of time, money, effort etc for any man under 6′ tall unless he’s on a millionaire dating site.

Therefore, with the notable exception of the one dating site I support, men under 6′ tall and with a net worth under $1M should ABANDON dating sites altogether.

However, @AnonymousFred514 brought up an important addendum: being over 6′ tall and therefore at least *visible* to women on dating sites does NOT mean you will be treated with basic human decency, or even meet women suitable for relationships.

So this brings me to my point.  Men need to develop themselves to be their best and approach women IN PERSON.

I know this is not easy and I know rejection will happen — but it is the only way.  And it WORKS.   It has worked for thousands of years.

Don’t cringe at the word “develop.”  The only reason we still exist is because for thousands of years men just being what they naturally were … WORKED.  A LOT of this “development” is really UNlearning bullshit, propaganda and brainwashing.

Yes, by all means, drop extra lard, don’t run up debts, get regular physical exercise and stop swilling garbage.  Reorient from consumerism to self-sufficiency and a future orientation.   Dress decently (not metrosexually) — clean clothes that fit properly.  But these were in fact the natural state of things not long ago.  Once you make the transition, maintaining that will be easy.

I’m one of the Amorati — a graduate of the Ars Amorata program, during which you literally approach over 100 women as part of your training.  (You can get an overview in the book “The Alabaster Girl.”)

I’m not here to shill for that particular program.   Read @rooshv (Game, Lady), read @Heartiste , even read Simon Sheppard (heretical.com) or Athol Kay (married man sex life primer) and wrap your mind around the essentials of male-female interaction and UNLEARN all the bullshit and lies you’ve been taught about “what women want.”

A woman wants a man.  Anything else is a deliberate perversion of her desires by artificial means.  But at her core, her instinct is to want a man who is masculine.

And the KEY to bypassing tons of garbage is for you, as a man, to BE what nature made you to be, and to stand right in front of a woman, hold her gaze, and invite her to join you.

“Develop yourself as a man” is another way to say “Game”.

Oh sure, there’s more. If you can swing a splitter and chop wood for five hours, you’re more mentally, physically, and yes emotionally developed than 90% of American men.

But there’s nothing quite like the ROI of Game.

De-betafication will be the story of the 21st Century, which is another way to say (cribbing PA), Identity, not Ideology, is the future. Men need to reacquaint themselves with their long-dormant masculine identity.

*Possibly this is an April Fools’ joke by Tinder, but the advice stands. All trends are pointing toward online dating becoming less useful to men.

Read Full Post »

Even a blurred phyzz is a reliable indicator of shitlord status.

kwicherbichen adds,

The phyzz of the beggars was just as telling. Part of the globohomo army.

Trevor Goodchild says shitlord phyzz is evident in the voice,

The voice really gives it away. Clipped, calm, zero uptalk.

“You call that a good cause?” should be flying on banners at the next Million MAGA March.

Oh wait, there’s no scheduled Million MAGA March on Washington?

There’s your problem, right there.

Read Full Post »

Roll the Old Chariot

SteveRogers42 thinks it stands as the manliest song ever.

cortesar comments,

don’t know bout you yeggs (lolz) but I find the video and song beautiful
this old and famous sea chanty song takes on completely a different meaning in the context of the war declared upon us

Indeed it does. We all here might have reason to sing it for real, soon enough.

Read Full Post »

Don’t use sunscreen. It’s really bad for you. So bad, it could justifiably be classed a toxin. The decrease in sunburn risk is outweighed by the big increases in risks of many types of cancer, including melanoma.

• Research has not validated the claim that the sun is not safe because it causes melanoma.

• Sunscreen use actually promotes skin cancers.

• Sunscreen chemicals are toxic to all systems in the body and to all life on the planet.

• Sunscreen chemicals mimicking the shape of our hormones bind to the body’s hormone receptors, disrupting estrogen, testosterone, progesterone and thyroid hormones.

• Sunshine provides many benefits for the whole body.

• Blocking UVB radiation leads to low vitamin D3 levels due to the inability to produce this essential vitamin in the skin, which results in a multitude of health problems.

• Consumers should avoid products that have a SPF rating or foods or clothing that contain titanium dioxide.

• Eating, taking or using antioxidants on the skin are natural, safe ways to protect the skin from solar radiation. Feeding the skin antioxidants provides nature’s best solar radiation protection.

***

Although UVB rays are what cause the typical sunburn, and blocking UVB does stop the skin from turning red, the sunburn is the body’s warning sign that it is time to get out of the sun because you have run out of your natural protective nutrients that prevent damage from the sun. Blocking the sunburn is just as dangerous as cutting the wire to the red warning light on the dash of your car.

***

A study with human volunteers who applied BP-3, OMC and 4-MBC for two weeks detected all three sunscreen chemicals in blood and urine, along with alterations in reproductive hormone levels. Observing the amount of these ‘‘estrogenic’’ sunscreen compounds in the blood, the researchers expressed concern for children who have not reached puberty, because they are more sensitive to low levels of reproductive hormones. Young children are also less able to eliminate drugs and have a larger surface area per body weight than adults, which can result in greater absorption and build-up within their bodies. The researchers concluded that sunscreens “might have adverse effects in children.”

***

This report on HMB also found that the chemical caused reproductive toxicity, with a lengthened menstrual cycle and decreased sperm count.

At least nine studies of titanium dioxide nanoparticles in mice and rats show reproductive harm, including problems that could result in impaired fertility.

***

Many young people today are stating that they are confused as to their sexual orientation. It is no wonder! The use of estrogenic and anti-testosterone sunscreen chemicals for the last forty years could be one reason that males and females are experiencing gender identity confusion in ever greater numbers. It is known that testosterone secreted by fetal testicles plays a key role in the permanent organization of the developing central nervous system toward masculine patterns. This means that males exposed to these chemicals in utero are subject to disruption of the development of normal masculine character traits.

***

The alterations to the cerebral cortex suggest that titanium dioxide exposure should be considered as a risk factor for autism, as autistic brains show abnormal cellular arrangements in the cerebral cortex.

***

Studies also show that titanium dioxide disrupts the body’s ability to perform its continual DNA repair, which is essential to maintain good health. All these alterations of chemicals within the brain cannot help but lead to alterations in behavior.

Is sunscreen the primary environmental insult causing the late-stage degenerate freak parade craziness?!

All the biosocial depravity plaguing the West — weak, gimp sperm…low fertility…tranny lunacy…autistic screeching…GOP cuckery…pussyhat hysteria…mental illness…depression…diabetes — might be the consequence of sunscreen lotion and the associated reduction in naturally-produced vitamin D.

If it is, then going out in the sun “unprotected” will be the next pro-White dog whistle.

***

Science is a work in progress. These findings may not hold up, or they may. The title of this post was obviously glib, but not untrue. We are discovering more every day that the Big Chem revolution of the 20th Century has had unforeseen consequences, which could be affecting us in small and big ways. It isn’t a reach to speculate based on the new information coming out that industrial modernity has had hugely negative impacts on social organization and could in fact be a main culprit in the depravity and suicidal ideation sweeping the West.

Which is why I, and others like PA, have predicted that the 21st Century will be the story of Westerners (European Whites) repudiating the modernity of the 20th Century. We are going back to our roots, in all senses of the word. Our roots with nature, with family, with kin, with neighbors, with nation.

I’m not saying it will be the equivalent of Ludditism. There will still be amazing discoveries, particularly in biology and genetics, but the way we live will change to be more in tune with our primal rhythms than with the autissimo world foisted on us by Big Tech, Big Usury, Big Chem, and Big State.

Globohomo will be defeated by blood and soil.

Read Full Post »

Asshole Game is confusing to men who think it means incessantly insulting a woman and generally acting like a huge dick all the time, getting in fights and yelling at girls when things go sour.

It’s more nuanced than that.

A refined assholery is uncaring and aloof. Indifferent to a girl’s judgment. This is what you should strive toward.

A spiteful, bitter assholery is caring and invested. Sensitive to a girl’s judgment. This is what you should avoid.

There are tiers of assholery that are more or less suited to the type of girl with you. Younger women will need a bigger and stronger dose of Asshole Game than would older women. Extraverted girls respond better than introverted girls to assholes. Sluts and exhibitionists can handle extreme asshole game; chaste girls not so much. Ugly girls need niceguy game, hotties are a mixed bag, and the “almost there” 6s and 7s crave assholes.

Furthermore, the right dose of assholery depends on how you come across to a girl. Relative SMVs matter. An ugly or socially awkward man hitting on an ugly woman would need to ramp up his asshole game compared to a normal man hitting on that same woman.

All girls melt under the seductive power of assholery, but care should be taken to tailor your assholery to the girl. Pile driving a girl’s ego could backfire if she’s already got low self-esteem; softening your assholery could backfire if she’s an Instagram whore.

With this in mind, I present the Three Tiers of Assholery, from gentlest to roughest.

Tier 1 — Edgy Niceguy — is for your plain janes with a heart of gold. Girl next door, sweet church girl, Amish bish, that one girl in your STEM class, virgins, small town librarian, the formerly chubby thin girl who still has body image issues, etc.

Tier 2 — Charming Jerkboy — is for your fat-part-of-the-belle-curve aspiring cockteases. These are your 5s, 6s, and 7s who think they’re one step into good lighting from being 9s. Throw in some 8s who have dated too many provider beta males and now need an asshole to make them feel alive again. Also, super hot foreign girls are in this group, unless they’re Brit, in which case they belong with the Tier 3s. Basically, 80% of women react positively to Tier 2 assholes.

Tier 3 — Brutal Mindfucker — is for your standard issue social media-created thot. All your closeted tyrants, bartender sasspots, careerist shrikes, infanticide supporters, proto catladies, hipsterette scenesters, strippers, camwhores, jaded hotties, FOMO chicks, rainbow-haired and nose-pierced “nonconformists”, and Salon readers belong in this group.

Now I will give examples of each asshole tier, so men can better understand just what “being an asshole” means when applied in real life.

Tier 1 Asshole:

Cup your fart, open it in front of her face, then mock-beg for her mercy through gales of laughter

Tier 2 Asshole:

Cup fart, open under her nose, don’t smile

Tier 3 Asshole:

Cup fart, shove it in her face, tell her “you smelt it you dealt it”

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Doodle a penis on her birthday card

Tier 2 Asshole:

Give her Skittles for her birthday

Tier 3 Asshole:

Forget her birthday, demand blowjob anyhow

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Sixth night lay, condom

Tier 2 Asshole:

Third night lay, Pill

Tier 3 Asshole:

Same day lay, leave her with abortion bill and a funny walk

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Her: “I think I’m falling for you!” You: “Aw, that’s cute”

Tier 2 Asshole:

Her: “I think I’m falling for you!” You: “Figures”

Tier 3 Asshole:

Her: “I think I’m falling for you!” You: “Why don’t you try falling on my cock right now” *ziiiiipp*

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Girlfriend surprises you with morning blowie. You: “Baby, that was…pretty good”

Tier 2 Asshole:

GF surprises you with morning blowie. You: “Better use mouthwash”

Tier 3 Asshole:

GF surprises you with morning blowie. You: “Where’s breakfast?”

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Girlfriend meets you at bar. You: “I can’t get away from you!” *smirk*

Tier 2 Asshole:

Girlfriend meets you at bar. You: “Oh great, you’re here, you can get me a drink now”

Tier 3 Asshole:

Girlfriend meets you at bar. You: “I can’t catch a break” *no change in facial expression*

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Girl: “Let’s go see that RBG movie!” You: “Is that the one about the color wheel?”

Tier 2 Asshole:

Girl: “Let’s go see that RBG movie!” You: “Why don’t you take someone without a penis and balls”

Tier 3 Asshole:

Girl: “Let’s go see that RBG movie!” You: “We’re done”

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Girl gets new hairstyle, smiles at you expectantly. You: “I like what you did to your nails”

Tier 2 Asshole:

Girl gets new hairstyle, smiles at you expectantly. You, falling backwards out of your chair in an exaggerated motion of faux surprise: “Fuck, what happened to that stuff on top of your head?”*

Tier 3 Asshole:

Girl gets new hairstyle, smiles at you expectantly. You: “Are you TRYING to be a lesbian?”

(*readers should direct their attention to the second commenter in that post’s comment thread.)

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Girl tries to break up with you in public. You: “You’re a bad liar. But if this is what you really want, then I set you free.”

Tier 2 Asshole:

Girl tries to break up with you in public. You: “Well, that’s a load off.”

Tier 3 Asshole:

Girl tries to break up with you in public. You hit on a girl walking by.

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Girlfriend calls you in the middle of the night, hysterical, to tell you she got into a car accident. You: “You tried parallel parking again, didn’t you?”

Tier 2 Asshole:

Girlfriend calls you in the middle of the night, hysterical, to tell you she got into a car accident. You: “Oh no! Is the car okay?”

Tier 3 Asshole:

Girlfriend calls you in the middle of the night, hysterical, to tell you she got into a car accident. You: “You called the wrong number, baby. Call the number on your triple A card.” *hangs up*

***

Tier 1 Asshole:

Girl wants you to buy her a drink two minutes after introducing yourself. You: “I don’t buy girls drinks, but you can buy me one”

Tier 2 Asshole:

Girl wants you to buy her a drink two minutes after introducing yourself. You: “The sex later better be good”

Tier 3 Asshole:

Girl wants you to buy her a drink two minutes after introducing yourself. You: “Sorry, I didn’t know you were a whore”

******

Looking back on my past relationships, I can’t believe how much Brutal Mindfuckery I committed against girls. But it worked. Sadly, it worked.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: