“No Sex Tonight” Means “Sex Tonight”

When a woman in your company verbalizes her stray thoughts about sex, for whatever purpose, you can be sure that your odds of sex with her that night have risen significantly.

Reader Arbiter recounts,

Off topic: yesterday I stayed at a girl’s place, someone I had been seeing every now and then earlier this year, but hadn’t seen now for several months. So this was a restart of the booty calling.

So, while we were sitting in the couch watching Britain’s Got Talent videos on her laptop, and doing some other stuff, she told me “No sex this first time, okay?”
“Okay,” I said, naturally with no intention of sticking to that. But she got to do her no-slut thing. Then it wasn’t her fault when I went for it in bed later.

The thing is, I was actually thinking of CH wisdom about how “When a girl says ‘no sex tonight’ on a date, she is thinking of having sex with you.” I would have done the same thing anyway, but it was a reminder that you’re not out in deep water if you’re going for it in that situation.

For those who say that “this is all theory, you can’t think of it all in real life”, it’s like driving a car: You make the theory part of your own style. You practice and practice until following the theory in practice comes natural and requires little thought.

Yes, a girl who warns you, in so many words, “no sex tonight” at any time during a date (or quasi-date) is far more likely to have sex with you that night than a girl who doesn’t say anything about sex while on a date with her. Once desire is inflamed in a woman, a precious egg-protection mental protocol initiates a sequence of courtship flanking maneuvers that obstruct any clean pathways to her egg, including self-sabotage pathways. A woman prefers not to make it easy for womb raiders, or for herself. One of many sleights of white matter hamster she will perform to satisfy her self-perception (some of it grounded in biological reality) of high sexual worth is the preemptive rebuke. If she has announced her modesty, then anything she might do later would be a clear violation of her modesty boundaries, and thus not her fault.

Women only speak in these riddles when motivated by unmistakably hot feelings. A woman will never utter the cautionary phrase “no sex tonight” unless thoughts of sex tonight had already set up camp in her electric ham.

If you ever hear this from a girl you’re dating, the correct response is “OK”, followed by unspoken dismissal of her pretend boundaries. She wants reassurance before she releases herself to you. What she doesn’t want is you to take her words to heart and retreat from the fight.

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What To Do When A Woman Compliments You

I’m not sure if the subject of women complimenting men has been covered before at CH, but it’s worth revisiting even so. Reader NorthWestBest asks,

I was wondering how you would accept compliments from a woman? When a woman says, “you’re cute” or “nice shorts, are those new?” or some other bullshit like that, what should I say back in order for her to have the most desirable image for myself. Ill let you know I have no lack of confidence, I will say what ever comes to my mind, but I was hoping you had something clutch to say (you usually do). Also this is just for casual at school interactions where I’m not trying to pick here up (at this specific time) but I’m definitely trying to form a desirable image for future interactions. Also if convenient you should post some more articles on things to say/do with little amounts of time, because I’m in high school and as you probably know already, you don’t have very much one on one time with the women, or a lot of time at all. So thanks in advance if you respond to this.

The CH lesson is always, ALWAYS, supremacy of attitude over execution. If you possess the alpha attitude, the sexy words will fall into place.

Given that axiom, the right attitude to have when a girl compliments you is: yeah, I get this a lot. Act like you’ve heard it before. If you act instead like an excited boy who can’t believe his ears, then the girl will retroactively wonder if you were worth her compliment.

In my experience, the best way to accept compliments from women is

“Thanks”

I’m not being glib. That is often the best response to a girl complimenting you. Say it calmly without effusive gratitude. A flash of smile is the perfect accessory.

That’s how a confident man would respond to being complimented by a woman. He wouldn’t self-efface or doubt the girl’s sincerity or argue with her opinion. A simple ‘thanks’ goes a long way to avoiding any impression that you’re parched for female flattery.

If the context is one in which gaming her is possible, and you want to enrich the conversation beyond ‘thanks’, then you could tease her.

SWEET TEEN GIRL: “nice shorts, are those new?”

HIGH SCHOOL HO MAGNET: “sure. don’t forget to check them out from the back.” [turn around like you’re modeling your butt for her]

Teasing is fun and girls just wanna have fun. Good teasing, like the above, has an element of ‘assuming the sale’. Chicks dig pre-sold men.

UPDATE

As a commenter mentioned, don’t lob a return compliment after a girl compliments you. Girls love men who can accept their compliments without feeling an obligation to answer in kind. Betas tend to do this a lot, because they aren’t comfortably narcissistic enough to accept flattery without feeling unworthy of it.

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4 Harsh Truths About The Dating Market

Eric Barker, a guy CH has linked to several times over the years because of his outstanding work compiling data-rich studies into the workings of the sexual market, has a new article in The Week titled ‘The Science of Sex: 4 Harsh Truths About Dating and Mating’.

The four harsh truths he lists and thoroughly corroborates with links to scientific studies will be very familiar to regular CH readers, as they all vindicate a number of Heartistian field observations of the flesh and blood dating world where men and women collide in hopeful union.

1) Those things we say we hate actually make us more attracted to people.

When someone plays hot-cold, keeps you guessing, makes you constantly uncertain?

Yeah, that makes you even more attracted:

Participants in the uncertain condition were most attracted to the men — even more attracted than were participants who were told that the men liked them a lot. Uncertain participants reported thinking about the men the most, and this increased their attraction toward the men.

Never listen to what a woman says; watch what she does. You ever wonder why women complain about equivocal men, when you yourself and every man you know are niceguys who never lead women on or play head games with women? Wonder no more. Women complain about these kinds of men because these are the men women choose to date and screw. They’re like children who complain about the sugar rush from eating lots of candy.

2) Yes, guys are pretty shallow.

The stereotypes are true: men want sex more than women and, yeah, guys are more likely to hit on girls with big boobs.

Men dig beauty.
Chicks dig power.
The rest is hamster nibbles.

3) Women can be quite dastardly too.

The science of sex tells us that the romantic comedies lie. Sex is an area where nice guys do finish last:

In one survey of men, Trapnell and Meston (1996) found that nice guys who were modest, agreeable, and unselfish were disadvantaged in sexual relationships. Men who were manipulative, arrogant, calculating, and sly were more sexually active and had a greater variety of sexual experiences and a greater number of sex partners. [Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy]

Women are very often attracted to bad boys like James Bond. In fact, research shows young women sometimes prefer out-and-out jerks:

In the end, young women may continue to claim that they find certain qualities in a “good guy” nice guy as highly desirable and that they want to be in a committed relationship with one man as their ultimate goal, but, at the same time, they seem content to spend “the meantime and in-between-time” going out with fun/sexy guys who may or may not turn into “jerks.”

For every Ray Rice who knocks a loving wife out, there’s a loving wife who chose to be with a Ray Rice. It takes two to tango. Someone tell that to Rod Dreher and Ross Douthat.

4) Little of the above will be changing anytime soon.

This is the science of sex, not the culture of it. Most, if not all, of these things are true around the world.

In a study of over 1000 participants in three dozen cultures it was consistently found that men are focused on looks and women on status:

Several standard sex differences replicated across cultures, including women’s greater valuation of social status and men’s greater valuation of physical attractiveness. [Personality and Individual Differences]

But we grow out of it, right? Nope.

Our tastes do not mature as we get older:

Findings suggest that although emerging adults believe that their peers’ mating desires change systematically over time, emerging adults’ self-reported mating desires vary little with age.

Unlike most other human attributes, the sexual preferences of men and women are remarkably uniform across the earth. Which makes sense. The sexual market is the one market to rule them all.

And we pretty much want the same thing throughout our lives, which must cause an amazing amount of pain for aging feminist beauties who are no longer able to cash in their prize assets for their hearts’ desire.

To recap:

Women say one thing but do another.

Male ambiguity, coyness, overconfidence and entitlement are sexy.

Men value female looks far above all other considerations.

Women value male social status above male looks.

Niceguys finish last.

Sexual desire is immutable.

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The Number One Killer Of Your Game

The number one killer of your game is a function of time, but it’s not time. Time — a merciless decay directive that commissions the end of everyone — is too crude and imprecise an agent of character change to rely on for guidance. We need to measure a new reality closer to the heart.

Around age 11 or 12, preteens experience a significant reorganization of their brains. New neural connections are made while gray matter is “pruned”. This process continues throughout adolescence, and doesn’t fully end until the mid-20s, when the brain reaches its final resting phase. The adult you is, in a mental sense, forever 25.

The biggest brain change in the early teen years is the shift away from prefrontal development and the shift toward emphasis on the amygdala, the brain’s emotional center. We become limbic creatures, more feral and impulsive, once we hit our teenage stride, because our decision-making ability, especially under conditions of stress, is then relegated to the control of the amygdala.

There is a sound evolutionary reason for this brain change. If teenagers were overly risk-averse and worried about the consequences of their actions, they would never take those first vital steps to establish their identity by trying new things. Instinctive bravery, or stupidity, is what pushes baby birds out of the nest to fly. Without that neural window of risk-attachment encouraging teens to bust out of their comfort zones, they would never leave home, rightly calculating that life is perfect under the auspices of their hearth managers.

After those heady teenage years, there’s a slow loss in the mental capacity for satiating curiosity and for risk-attachment. This, too, likely has evolutionary origins. Adults who remain wild and thrill-seeking like teenagers do their own children no good, because what those little shits need more than anything is a stable family environment. We are as hard-wired to step into the comfort zone as adults as we are to step out of it as preteens.

There’s another word for the risk-attachment that defines the teenage/early 20s experience: Passion.

Game is all about taking social risks and withstanding blows to the ego. It’s about reckless experimentation. It’s about an inner energy that drives a man to seek new or better lovers and romantic experiences. It’s about denying the soothing siren song of comfort zones with a force ten tenacity. Game is, in its essence, the exalting of passion over passiveness.

Unfortunately, game has a mortal enemy, and it is the brain itself. The loss of risk-attachment — the pure energy of passion — for the gain of risk-aversion — the serene submission to contentment — will kill a man’s game more completely and with greater finality than physical shortcomings, than financial ruin, than even marriage and its punitive bindings.

The number one killer of your game is the same inexorable biomechanical algorithm that killed your passion and replaced it with placidity: Your changing brain.

If you are a man of keen mind, you may even feel this loss of passion. You’ll sense the changes partly in your day to day behavior and partly by way of the nostalgia fuel your living memory provides. Ironically, although the tragedy when viewed from an unbiased distance is immense, you won’t feel the pain of passion loss as much as you should because you won’t have the passion left to mourn it. Kind of like how I imagine a very old man gazes wistfully at a young beautiful woman while his cock remains undisturbed by the commotion.

Regrettably, there’s nothing on offer that could guarantee you avoid this date with dispassionate destiny. But there are weapons that may help you beat back the gathering storm of brain-reconfigured apathy and keep you seducing women in top form for decades to come.

1. Willpower.

If you can sense it, you can slow it. The first step begins with self-awareness. Instead of bleakly shuffling into that fading light like a gelded automaton, turn your mental howitzers against inevitability and embrace the fight. Go into battle knowing full well your defeat is assured but that you’ll have a blast blowing holes in as many passion-killing droids as you can center in your crosshairs.

2. Understand that experience can make up for some loss of passion.

You will get better with women as you get older. This is a natural result of mastering the dating market learning curve and accepting the psychosexual foreignness of the female mind. Improvements in your knowledge and self-control will mitigate some decline in your baseline passion level. To put it more succinctly, you won’t need as much animating passion to seduce new women at 30 as you did at 15.

3. Weightlifting/Testosterone replacement therapy.

Testosterone is the fark matter of the pooniverse. It’s soul juice. It’s the git ‘er done drug. It’s the molecular chakra that unites man’s head, heart and hogzilla. Weightlifting has been proven to raise T levels both temporarily and permanently, and this is true for most men who follow the Law of Iron. So does eschewing the modern high-sugar, high-carb fattyfest. Refusing to allow your T to sink into oblivion is a clarion call for more intrinsically summoned passion. (Recent evidence finds that estrogen inhibitors may work better than testosterone boosters. I leave it to the reader to research the issue.)

4. Spermatogenesis.

WARNING: Experimental territory. Enter at your own risk.

Read this comment. It’s anecdotal, but the associations he draws have some founding in the scientific literature, not to mention similarities with the conventional wisdom. Boost your sperm production and that wonderful I’M ALIVE blue ball feeling through the interventions of no-fap, HCG, and something called LJ100. Scrotum pressure is a pathway to scoundrel passion.

5. Set an expiration date on all your long-term relationships.

If you make it a principle to escape LTRs before the two year mark, you’ll evade comfort zone entrapment and artificially reignite that dreamy teen passion for new experiences and thrills, and screw the consequences. Your brain will rewire itself to accommodate the new stresses you put on it. Call it, whoremesis. Of course, as great as this is for your love life, it’s as bad for the continuation of the species and a prosperous society. Maybe you’ll figure you can contribute in a godly way to society later in life, after you’ve had your fill of the best kind of pleasures and passions, in which case you’ll want to save some of that archaic energy for your sequels.

A killer is coming for you. Heed the immortal yearning of Roy Batty — I want more life, fucker — and follow him into that rain to die kneeling as you were meant to… but not before proving to yourself and the world you’ll damn your destiny on your feet.

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When A Hot Woman Slips The Cold Shiv

In your travels across the landscape of women, you will encounter a few ice queens who play the soulkill game as well as any sociopathic man. The first exquisite experience with such a woman leaves one breathless with awe; the second experience invites reciprocal devilry.

I’m not saying e-eeevil women will carve you up with as much dramatic poise as Nicole Kidman does in this scene from Eyes Wide Shut, but I am saying these kinds of women exist and the flair they possess for digging deep to the male id and serrating it (usually after fellating it) is a power that would reduce most beta males (and some alpha males) to whimpering self-doubt or reckless vengeful rage.

Pop quiz for those aspiring to Amused Mastery Level of Alpha Maleness:

Given a similar situation, how would you respond to a lover pulling the “Check out my merciless female hypergamy” shiv on you? I know what I’d do. Let her finish her monologue, wait a beat for the moment to grow flush with threatening potential, grin, sit back in bed, and say “Cool story babe”. Better yet, if I were drunk and hadn’t the mental storage space for cutting quips, I’d get up midway through her speech and leave unceremoniously, as if the noise of her voice was giving me a headache.

To respond with fury or hurt would be perceived as her victory; calm dismissal is a tried and true shiv parry that enervates even the most sadistically charged thrusts.

UPDATE

Via reader PA. This scene from Witches of Eastwick is a case study in how an alpha male steals the frame and totally deflates a bitchy woman’s stream of emasculating insults. Be Jack’s amused mastery, and then, when your antagonistic lover has had the wind knocked out of her shivvy sails, go on the offense until her former snarling attack posture is reduced to a quivering crouch of passivity.

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Optimizing Your Womanizing: Sex Ratio

When you aim to get in shape, do you ignore exercise and just focus on eating less crap? When you invest in the stock market with the goal of increasing your wealth, do you put your entire savings into one high-risk, high-reward venture, or do you diversify? When you work on becoming more stylish, do you upgrade your shirts but keep wearing ratty pants and scuffed shoes?

Same with womanizing (or finding that one perfect woman to love a little longer than the others). Game will improve your romantic fortunes, but game + environmental optimization will improve it tenfold.

Optimizing Your Womanizing is a new CH series exploring those life strategy adjustments that add horsepower to your game engine. Environmental optimizations can mean many things, and generally converge to maximize the combined strength of your seductive talents. Fashion, physique, and field of play are the big three extrinsic environmental factors that supplement your intrinsic sexy attitude and social savyy.

Today’s post is about ideal womanizing locations based on sex ratio skew. A rather blunt force method of finding more attractive women more responsive to your charms is to choose a field of play where prime-nubility age women outnumber the men. In these Vaghallas, the pussy will indeed flow like the Orihoco.

Naturally, not all pussy is prize pussy. I’m sure there are awesomely favorable sex ratios in parts of Africa and China where the local women vastly outnumber the men, but is Bantu pussy or rice paddy peasant pussy really worth your pussy-prowling time? So for purposes of discussion, we’ll stick to a realistic field of play: Europe. If you throw a dart at a map of Europe, odds are better than anywhere else that you strike native pussy gold.

As you can see, in Islamicizing Europe the optimal fields of play (where there are significantly more mid 20s peak beauty women than there are men) include most of France, Switzerland, Bavaria, Ireland, Wales, Southern Italy (though you might want to steer clear of hound-dogging the local women in this inbred omertá-park), the hinterlands of Turkey, and the Baltic capitals.

Although this map doesn’t show it, Russia and Ukraine have the best sex ratios in all of larger Europe. Good luck!

Places you as a womanizer would want to avoid: The territory formerly known as East Germany, Spain (too bad), most of the Slavs.

I would like to claim there’s a curious overlay with a map of European inbreeding, but the fit is like a nerdling’s first suit: Oversized, rumpled, but passable for a nerd herd family photo.

Hypothesis: Outbred parts of Europe are prosperous and thus attract more provider beta male-seeking (or masters of the universe alpha male-seeking) women to migrate there.

If you want a favorable sex ratio AND hot women AND the ever-present threat of dying prematurely, then a small drunken Russian village is your majestic mating ground. Moscow looks to be the best overall city for womanizing on the European continent. If you’re fluent in Russian, why would you pass this up? Outside of Moscow’s mass quantities of eager hotties, Tallinn, Estonia, though lacking in raw numbers, also hits pussy pay dirt.

UPDATE

The link to the Russian and Ukraine sex ratios doesn’t filter the data by female age. This makes it practically worthless to men who aren’t interested in banging babushkas, which is all men of sound psychological and testicular profiles. Stick with the non-potatohead options.

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How To Handle Girls Playing The ‘Poor Me!’ Act

Beta bait. It’s a trap!

Beta bait and shit tests are similar concepts with some notable distinctions. Shit tests occur with the most regularity and intensity during early game, and at times when the relationship is on the skids. They are normally loaded up front to help the girl quickly take the measure of your alphaness. Beta bait happens at any time while dating a girl, and are spread out evenly in a relationship as a sort of low level boyfriend diagnosis script.

Beta bait is basically a type of leading question or leading suggestion employed by women as part of their subconscious female algorithm to elicit evidence of low value beta male psychology. It often takes the form of “poor me!” solipsistic martyrdom, a kind of damsel in distress ploy that thirsty beta males and white knights find hard to resist.

Chomping down on stinky beta bait lowers male SMV by a fraction of a point. The more chomps, the more SMV deductions, until enough demerits have been ignominiously earned that the girl can no longer stand to be in the beta’s company. The only way to decrease the frequency and intensity of beta bait is to demonstrate, through various verbal sleights of tongue, an unwillingness to tolerate them.

And that means learning how to respond to validation-thirsty girls playing gotcha! head games.

Commenter Mr. Meaner writes,

One piece of beta-bait I still occasionally fall for is when a girl, who has a great body, utters empty complaints about her body. “I’ll never be as thin as her/I wish my ass looked like hers/She has really nice boobs…” etc

If you try and reassure her it always backfires. Every. Single. Time.

It shits me that I still fall for this one. This is such a hard trap to avoid for the logical male brain, probably one of the most dangerous shit tests of all.

Beta Bait Rule #1: Don’t reassure a girl playing the ‘poor me!’ act.

There will be vanishingly few times in a man’s life when reassurance is the charismatic response and won’t backfire on him. If a cute girl is whining about her looks, and suggestively leading the witness with statements like “I wish I had her boobs”, refrain at all costs from putting her doubts to rest.

DO NOT…

Disagree with her.

“No, you are totally the thinnest girl here!”

Soothe her.

“You’re being way too hard on yourself.”

Badmouth her competition.

“Her? No way. Her boobs are way worse than yours.”

Everyone has heard betaboys say this kind of stuff. It is the coin of the realm for inexperienced men who were raised on presumptions that supplication or therapeutic pep talks are the ways to win a girl’s heart.

Beta Bait Rule #2: Think two steps ahead of self-effacing women.

As Mr. Meaner noted, the male brain is logical and linear, and thus easily exploited by the more socially intuitive and serpentine female brain. A woman asking what sounds like a logical question, or making a statement that implies a logical assessment, is not actually interested in a logical reply. The details of womantalk are secondary to the emotional subtext. Call it… girlsplaining. (Even better, call it “girlspleening”.)

A woman’s beta bait is like the Bene Gesserit Pain Box: Crisis and observation is the objective. The man is presented with a crisis — the woman’s needy exclamations of phony self-doubt — and then he is observed by her hindbrain for evidence of his appeasing beta maleness or, if he passes, of his alluring alpha aloofness.

This is why a man must train himself in the art of thinking circuitously, like a woman. To seduce a woman, you must first embody her instincts. Then, informed by the power of her wiles, you “flip the script” and hack into her arousal center with the password she unwittingly gave you.

Thinking two steps ahead means avoiding the logical response for the funny or witty or condescending response that is more precisely directed at the subtext of her words. Her subtext is her true animating force, the hamster behind the curtain.

Beta Bait Rule #3: The two best responses to “poor me!” ploys are 1. Agree & Amplify and 2. Dismissive Provocation.

Agree & Amplify:

GIRL: “I’ll never be as thin as her.”
DESPICABLE YOU: “Nope. You are one HYOOGE beach ball. Do you walk or roll?”

Dismissive Provocation:

GIRL: “I wish my ass looked like hers.”
DESPICABLE YOU: “Try to be more subtle when you’re fishing for compliments.”

There are many ways to evade self-martyrdom beta bait and come out looking like a sexy beast, but based on my experience these are the two best methods. If you go with A&A or DP, you will never be mistaken for a chump beta, and the number of times you have to hear “poor me!” crap from women will markedly decrease. A&A will usually incite the open-mouthed mock indignation, amazed half-smile from girls that is so indicative of their uncontrolled arousal. DP will cause girls to react more like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar; she’ll pout a little, squint, frown and proclaim her innocence of such nefarious manipulations. Again, like the reaction from A&A, these are the facial cues that betray vaginal inflammation.

Two final thoughts. Beta bait of the “poor me!” variety is usually the province of attractive girls, although older, formerly hot cougars are known to utilize the scam for real reassurance from older men who have more sexual market options than the aging beauties.

Girls who are aware at some mental level of their attractiveness have the ego to spare to parlay obviously false confessions about fears of their subpar looks. Truly hideous girls will rarely beta bait in this manner, (or any manner), because it will be hard for them to express self-doubts without it sounding like real pain. “Poor me!” ploys aren’t ploys when the confessor really is a poor specimen of womanhood. Try to picture a fatty saying “I’ll never be as thin as her.” It is to laugh. Her ballast isn’t some phantasm that even supplicating beta males can reassure out of existence; her ballast is taking up real world space. I have seen sordid spectacles play out where a chubster would pull this stunt on a pudding pop beta male buddy for whom she has long held a torch, only to realize too late her bait would get no traction as the betaboy just stood there blankly staring at her and muttering “oh”.

However, when a fatty or fug does attempt to sling “poor me!” bait, reassurance should still be avoided. Why would you want to reassure a fat girl that she’s perfect just the way she is? That’s adding ugliness to the world. The best response in those rare cases is “Encouragement by Tacit Shiv”:

FATTY: “I’ll never be as thin as her.”
MOTIVATIONAL YOU: “Sure you can. You just gotta stop talking about it and start doing.”

If she isn’t reaching for the bottle of pills after that, consider it a lesson well-learned!

Lastly, there are times when women in long-term relationships will defecate “poor me!” turds on your serenity. A&A and DP are acceptable responses, but once in a while — these rare moments determined at the discretion of your intuitive grasp for relationship harmony — a guileless reassurance is what she desperately needs. If your wife is beginning to worry about her wrinkles, and there’s nothing about her you don’t like, then a calming dissuasion will fit the moment perfectly.

Just don’t overdo it. These “beta male reassurance” moments should be the seasoning to relationships, never the stew. A little goes a long way. Tragicomically, it’s usually incorrigible beta males who lean on the crutch of “reassurance game” to excess, the very last men who would derive any benefit from it, and often the men who experience befuddling negative blowback when their appeasement isn’t met with the gratitude from their girlfriends or wives they mistakenly believe is coming.

Women in LTRs needing expressions of acceptance are usually moved into that position because their lovers are alpha men who are a little short on beta vulnerability game. Such women are sexually bonded to their alphas, but their emotional bonds may fray if, over time, their men — and remember these are men with options — don’t supply them with sufficient sweet talk to allay their gnawing fears of future abandonment.

If your wife or girlfriend really is getting fat or ugly, then “poor me!” ploys are a dangerous game which could blow up the relationship. Unattractive women in relationships — especially those who were formerly attractive when they met their partners — are mentally lubed by a toxic mix of superficial security and comfort coupled with a fearful sensation of impending romantic loss. This emotional turmoil drives them to seek constant reassurance of their prettiness as their men used to know them.

But it’s a catch-22. Reassure these women, and they are never incentivized to improve themselves. Dismiss their concerns, and the same results. Agree with them, and they withdraw spitefully. It’s a minefield and the best way to navigate it is the ol’ “Butter her up before delivering the bad news” tactic.

WIFE WITH POWER OF STATE AT HER BECK AND CALL: “I’ll never be as thin as her.”
DEVIOUS YOU: “You were the prettiest woman I had ever met. And hopefully always will be. I can help make that happen.”

The only other scenario in which it makes any sense to “beta up” and reassure a fat or ugly girl steeped in legitimate self-doubt is one where you want to bang the fug. But then the question has to be asked… WAYB? (Why are you banging?)

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