Alpha Assessment: The Frame Game

Reader Ace recalls some text and messaging conversations he had with a couple of girls:

Conversation via facebook with ex (HB 8). I’m new to game and recently unplugged from the matrix.

Me: Read through some old messages on MySpace. Fun stuff
Her: O gosh. I can only imagine!
Me:You had quite the attitude punk! And I was such a charmer
Her: Probably… and no. lol
Me: Oh really? It’s no wonder you fell for me SOO hard. Lucky girl
Her: Haha whatever you say
Me: 100 reasons why you love (My name) Found that the other day. You make me out to be a badass ha
Her: HAhaha I was sweet. I remember my little notes you wrote me everyyyyday
Me: Yeah you were. I know, I was a tool
Me: Pretty sure the biggest reason we dated was because our lips fit really well together.

No response. I know I shouldn’t have initiated contact with an ex because I should be spreading my demon seed to other girls.
Jacta est.

Conversations via text with HB 9 from work. Had a boyfriend during the first two conversations.

Me: Am I going to see you at the cliffs tomorrow?
Her: No I got class 9 to 4
Me: Skip class, I’m much more fun
Her: I skipped last week lol. I don’t want to have to make up my hours again.
Me: Well I think you should, it’d be for a good cause. What’d you skip class for last week?
Me: And by good cause, I mean you would get to see me
Her: For extra sleep lol
Me: Haha your excuse for missing class tomorrow is much better

Conversation with the same girl via text after I ran into her earlier that night at a club.

Me: You wobble like a white girl babe
Her: Yeah because I have no butt!!
Me: Lol true, which means you’re just gonna have to win me over with your personality
Her: Haha! I already won.
Me: Lol and what on earth makes you think that?
Her: I am kind of a genius lol
Me: Lol well if that’s the case, that’s a definite plus, but don’t think for a minute that just because you’re easy on the eyes that I’m impressed
Me: If you want any chance of “winning” I need to know more about the setup you have going on in that genius head of yours
Her: I have a boyfriend so I must be doing something right lol
Me: And I have a dog, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m doing something right lol
Her: dog? boyfriend? … difference lol.
Me: Both entertain you when you’re bored, both keep you company when you’re alone, both do what you tell them to lol
Her: HAHAHAHA! I love that comparison, but I don’t keep my “dog” on a leash lol.
Me: Lol fair enough, but I still wouldn’t say you’re winning..he’s not me
Her: You must not know him then because he is bad ass lol. trust me I am winning.
Me: Lol but be that as it may, he’s not me. That aside, I just want to be friends
Her: Well duhh I know that. You just like picking on me lol.
Me: Haha cause youre such a good sport, and you fire back occasionally, which i like
Her: HAHA! yeah I bet you do lol.

Conversation after I ran by her on the trail.

Me: You looked like you could use a running buddy today
Her: Haha! I thought that was you!!
Me: Honestly, I kind of thought you were a black girl from afar…except for your butt!
Her: Shut up hahaha!

All of these conversations were prior to my unplugging.

“Prior to my unplugging” means, I presume, prior to his introduction to game concepts and material. “Ace” may correct me if I’m presuming wrongly. And so what we have here are texts and messages that Ace sent in his pre-game state to girls, and he wants to know if they are exemplary of natural alpha male mojo.

There’s no need to bother with a line-by-line analysis of Ace’s badinage. The alphatude lessons contained therein aren’t specific to any one line; they are derived from a general vibe that his conversational technique emits.

And the lesson I take from this stream of conversation is a simple one: Teasing, playfulness, negs and challenges cannot make up for a loss of frame.

It’s frame first, frame now, frame forever. You lose the frame, and you are perpetually crouched in the defensive posture, playing by the girl’s rules, dancing to her beat, singing her tune, spasmodically twitching on her puppeteer strings, and all the while driving her desire into a ditch.

Some of you newbs may be wondering what I’m talking about. You read Ace’s “comebacks” and you think it shows tight game.

“It’s no wonder you fell for me SOO hard.”

Newbie says: He’s challenging her and flipping the script, making it seem like she chased him! Isn’t that game?

Well, yes, that is game, in the particulars. But it has to be viewed in context, and the context here is of a man trying too hard (and too frequently) in his insistence that his ex couldn’t get enough of him.

“And by good cause, I mean you would get to see me”

Newbie says: He’s making himself the prize. Isn’t that game?

Again, context matters. Yes, having an “I am the prize” mentality is a core game concept, but in this context it falters because Ace has had to repeat his assertions of prize-worthiness to an obviously uninterested girl. Prize-worthiness is best left implied rather than forcefully asserted.

“Lol fair enough, but I still wouldn’t say you’re winning..he’s not me”

Newbie says: Boyfriend destroyer! Aloof attitude! That’s gotta be tight game.

A man indifferent to a woman’s “I have a boyfriend” shit test is not a man who writes, count ’em, four lengthy texts telling a girl how much her boyfriend doesn’t matter to him. Yes, he’s cocky and funny and unapologetic, but he’s also giving the impression of a guy who can’t stop himself from parrying a girl’s volleys, even as she is clearly enjoying the back and forth.

“That aside, I just want to be friends”

Newbie says: Disqualification! Come on, that’s definitely game.

Sure, when the disqualification is not appended to the end of a huge text conversation where he pretty much tacitly confessed his sexual interest in the girl. DQs simply don’t work when burdened by such incongruence.

“Honestly, I kind of thought you were a black girl from afar…except for your butt!”

Newbie says: Neg! Gotta be game.

Yes, it was a neg (sort of)… which reminded her that he remembered their earlier conversation about her butt. She knows he’s smitten.

In the final analysis, Ace’s pre-unplugged game is a great example of an aspiring womanizer “getting” the nuts and bolts of game, but not being able to assemble the pieces into a coherent whole. Both girls established the frame and held it almost the ENTIRE TIME. The result is that Ace managed to come off like a superficially suave man of great earnestness who was happily obliging the girls’ conversational maneuverings and performing for their applause. Not a beta, not quite an alpha.

If a girl has set the frame, your job is to avoid getting entrapped by it as quickly as possible, and often this will mean completely changing the subject if you are not getting the desired responses from the girl. For example:

Her: I have a boyfriend so I must be doing something right lol
You: And I have a dog, that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m doing something right lol
Her: dog? boyfriend? … difference lol.
You: [next day] gonna be at [place x]. go there, we’ll chat like humans.

Or:

Her: I have a boyfriend so I must be doing something right lol
You: [hours later] saw a man get a pedicure today. not sure what made me think of that.

A lot of guys new to game get so excited with the powerful pickup tools at their disposal that they tend to overuse them at the cost of missing the context in which they are being used. What then usually happens is that girls enjoy their unconventional rapport but never quite feel that rush of burning desire that truly aloof men effortlessly evoke in them. Eventually, the barrage of overworked game tactics veers into spergland, and the girl will actually start to get turned off by this “go nowhere” man who shucks and jives like a properly trained court jester.

Setting the frame and avoiding antagonists’ frames are critical to seduction, both of women and of electorates.

UPDATE

How could we forget the best frame setter/frame breaker/frame interruptor ever?

Her: I have a boyfriend so I must be doing something right lol
You: gay

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Cultivate Your Inner Dark Triad

Possessing a “dark triad” personality is good for attracting women. It’s also good for getting what you want out of life in realms beyond those of acquiring pussy. Reader moses passes along:

The Dark Triad ain’t just for seducers. It works in real life too.

From the WSJ book review on “The Wisdom of Psychopaths” by Kevin Dutton:

“Mr. Dutton, with his tongue not entirely in his cheek, develops a skill set he calls the Seven Deadly Wins, “seven core principles of psychopathy that, apportioned judiciously and applied with due care and attention, can help us get exactly what we want; can help us respond, rather than react, to the challenges of modern-day living; can transform our outlook from victim to victor, but without turning us into a villain.” His seven are: ruthlessness, charm, focus, mental toughness, fearlessness, mindfulness and action.”

This is absolutely correct. In my business career I’ve seen people with these traits win again and again, often by screwing others over.

I’ve employed a few of these traits myself to great effect.

Ruthlessness

Demand a pay raise. Don’t wait for it.

Escalate to a fuck close. Don’t wait for it.

Charm

Avoid defensiveness in favor of amused dominance. You will win more allies by directing their emotions toward deference instead of away from deference.

Avoid argumentativeness in favor of playful teasing. You will win more women by directing their emotions toward pleasure instead of away from pleasure.

Focus

Don’t get distracted from your career goals. Avoid dead weight who would hold you back.

Don’t get distracted from your sex goals. Avoid cockteasers who would LJBF you.

Mental Toughness

Never let a critical boss, coworker or client fill you with self-doubt.

Never let a woman’s caprice or shit testing shake your frame.

Fearlessness

You will pursue those things which you want despite the risk of failure.

You will approach women despite the risk of rejection.

Mindfulness

You will work to neutralize threats from competitors, through force or guile.

You will work to improve your social savviness, and avoid incongruence in the pursuit of women.

Action

Contemplation is for closers.

Fantasizing is for fuckers.

There is but one thing in this world which feels better than a brain shattering orgasm released into the warm wet vagina of a pretty girl, and that is the rush of power that flows like the Orinoco through a man’s arteries when he commands his environment and those who dwell within it.

Heartiste, what is good in life?

To crush beautiful pussy, see them love you for your power, and to hear the lamentation of their LJBFed beta suckups.

The Dark Triad is the clarion call that has replaced outmoded concepts of honor, virtue, chivalry and self-sacrifice as the organizing principle which motivates and galvanizes the post-society American man. It is the ultimate expression of untrammeled individualism. A society crumbling into atomizing modernism is both symptomatic of growing psychopathy in the population and causal of more people turning toward the psychopathic dark side. When truth is exiled, the allure of cold-blooded self-concern is evident.

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Men Can’t Be Friends With (Attractive) Women: The Science

Four years ago, this esteemed blog laid out in detail the reasons why men can’t be friends with bangable women, and under which conditions male-female friendships could plausibly form and endure.

Men and women simply cannot be friends unless certain conditions are met.

• Mutual lack of attraction

This is easy. When there’s no loin burning to get in the way a girl buddy is like a guy buddy, except you can dump on her about your dating troubles and give your opinion of in-season colors without getting laughed at.

[…]

• One way attraction, girl to guy

Girls find it easier to keep their sex drives in check, which is why they can retain their sanity while remaining friends with uninterested guys they are attracted to far longer than the reverse scenario. Men who are attracted to their girl buddies cannot stay friends for long without either making a sloppy move and killing the friendship or sacrificing their last ounce of dignity as they go insane from blue balls toxic shock.

[…]

• One way attraction, player to girl

There is only one way a single man can be friends with a woman he wants to bang and that’s when his balls are so drained from fucking other women that he feels no testicular pressure to act on his desire. You’ll notice that a typical sexually satisfied alpha has lots of hot girl acquaintances he doesn’t bother gaming because the effort required is not worth the very small marginal increase in pleasure or risk of losing the girls as social proof and as friends.

[…]

• The man is married or in a relationship

If you’re looking to be a cool friend to hot chicks without falling victim to the temptation to hit on them, you can acquire this noble virtue on the cheap by shackling your vice within the artificial prison of marriage or exclusive relationships. (Note: The opposite doesn’t work — most men will sleep with a hot married woman given the chance and in spite of the risk.) This is the foolproof method for betas to be relaxed and emotionally stable friends with attractive girls they’d love to bang. They simply tell themselves that they already have a girl waiting for them at home who they love very much or, if they don’t love her, who would be really pissed if they cheated on her, and so the pressure is off. They can therefore rationalize their asexual acquiescence to LJBFdom as a pose of moral rectitude.

[…]

• She’s on the internet and you can’t see her in person

Pretty simple trick to be platonic with a chick when she’s a flick on your monitor and a thousand miles away.

As per usual, the Chateau was more right than it knew, and ahead of its time. Recently, a scientific study has confirmed just about every observationally sound assertion put forth in that seminal post.

[T]he possibility remains that this apparently platonic coexistence is merely a façade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface.

New research suggests that there may be some truth to this possibility—that we may think we’re capable of being “just friends” with members of the opposite sex, but the opportunity (or perceived opportunity) for “romance” is often lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce at the most inopportune moment. […]

The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends. […]

These results suggest that men, relative to women, have a particularly hard time being “just friends.” What makes these results particularly interesting is that they were found within particular friendships (remember, each participant was only asked about the specific, platonic, friend with whom they entered the lab). This is not just a bit of confirmation for stereotypes about sex-hungry males and naïve females; it is direct proof that two people can experience the exact same relationship in radically different ways. Men seem to see myriad opportunities for romance in their supposedly platonic opposite-sex friendships. The women in these friendships, however, seem to have a completely different orientation—one that is actually platonic.

Science ♥s Heartiste. It feels good being so right so often, but honestly a high “being right to being wrong” ratio isn’t that difficult to achieve as long as you are open to seeing reality for what it is, rather than what you wish it to be. The study’s money quote:

Taken together, these studies suggest that men and women have vastly different views of what it means to be “just friends”—and that these differing views have the potential to lead to trouble. Although women seem to be genuine in their belief that opposite-sex friendships are platonic, men seem unable to turn off their desire for something more. And even though both genders agree overall that attraction between platonic friends is more negative than positive, males are less likely than females to hold this view.

If you were to read nothing in life except this blog, you would be better equipped to successfully navigate the obstacles life throws at you than a feminist or manboob who has read 10,000 cathedral-certified gender studies textbooks at $100 a pop.

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Manly Men Confused Why Unmanly Men Get Girls

Commenter aspic writes:

[W]hile i’m on the subject of [Neil] Strauss: he’s a metrosexual who comes across like a slimy worm. These are exactly the kinds of men who are inheriting the high positions in our society. See also: Obama.

I don’t know if Strauss comes across like a slimy worm, having never met him, but if video and pictures are accurate he does dress and comport himself with an urbane flair that violates traditional manly men norms. Strauss’ success with women using game and a deep understanding of female psychology reminds me of a quote from the anti-feminist prophet, Anthony Ludovici:

Among the vices of woman, “constantly characteristic of her,” [Ludovici] enumerates “(1) Duplicity and an indifference to truth; (2) Lack of Taste; (3) Vulgarity; (4) Love of petty power; (5) Vanity; and (6) Sensuality.”

If manly men want to know why unmanly men can outscore them in the sexual market sweepstakes, they need look no further than Ludovici’s stunning insight into the character of woman. The unmanly man, no leader of men he, can reduce women to puddles of swoonage because he drinks from their bottomless well of vanity, he lies to them prettily, he trades in the currency of sensuality, and, most importantly, he appeals to women’s “love of petty power” by exploiting relative social status differentials in microcosm. He is, in short, a leader of women.

This is how the manly men are outgunned. The manly man’s refusal, born of pride or disgust, to sink into the insufferable torments of the child-like, capricious, feckless world of women and frolic in it as if it were his own world leaves him exposed atop his hill, strong and dignified and self-righteous, to the cunning shamelessness of the unmanly man absconding with the women languishing under his paternal gaze.

Our current time — the decadence and silliness preceding the painful fall — is perfectly suited to the strengths of the unmanly man. He rules in this nebulous miasma that was once a culture. The manly men will have their day again, when the fall has swept away the last illusion and the weak are revealed uncompromisingly for what they have always been, but until then the manly men yield to the awesome power of the metrosexual with a nasally voice and a penchant for spinning riveting stories which may or may not be true.

This post Hugo Schwyzer approved.

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How To Inure Yourself To Beautiful Women

A thinking sort of reader writes:

The hedonistic treadmill concept says you’ll get reduced satisfaction from expanded consumption as you adjust to it. You won’t appreciate a Ferrari if you drive one everyday and the same applies to a steak dinner.

When I’m on a winning streak with girls, I feel they all get less hot. I find myself turning my head less often. I see pictures of girls that I thought were flawless and I see flaws. I find myself thinking about other areas of my life. Conversely, when I’m not longer with a girl, and I go into a slump, I find my ex was hotter than I remember.

Girls can definitely tell when a guy is not impressed. I read football practice is often harder than the real game. I’m not sure we’ve invented a way to expose normal guys to beautiful women the same way that Tom Brady and Brad Pitt are exposed. Strippers, porn, movies, etc don’t work since they all work to raise the woman on the pedestal. [ed: correct. there’s good exposure and self-limiting exposure. alpha males are exposed to women’s desire. johns and gawkers are exposed to women’s mercenary indifference.]

I’m thinking a picture gallery of women as they age, or a picture gallery of models without makeup might be a good start.

Definitely something to this. While filet mignon will always taste better than ground chuck, and a hot girl will always be a better lay than an ugly girl, the pleasure that can be extracted from the tastier choices will, with enough familiarity and dopamine receptor scorching, succumb to diminishing returns. (Although it will never bottom out as low as the scant pleasure one receives from cheap cuts of meat or girls.)

The blowback from dopamine-blasted beauty immunity is that all women, even the ones you aren’t fucking, start to seem less desirable, or at least less worthy of sustained effort to earn their interest. And this is how ecologically self-perpetuating alpha males are made:

Maxim #12: The cumulative experience with hot women imbues the womanizer with a genuinely aloof aura that attracts even more women to him.

Corollary to Maxim #12: If you don’t have an adequate amount of aloofness-inducing experience with hot women, act like you do.

Think about when you were, or how you are now, comfortably ensconced in a secure relationship with a girl. Objectively, she’s cute. When you first saw her, your heart leapt upward in sync with your cock.

But damn if you don’t espy
that as the days tick by
your wandering eye
roves wide as the sky.

In graphical form, this is known as the Beauty Power Law, and it looks like this:

Beauty immunity is real, and it affects every man, relative to his beauty capture starting point. That is, a low value man will quickly tire of low value women if he manages long-term relationships (or long-term consecutive hook-ups) with those low value women he fears he is fated to match. He will still want hot chicks, but the additive experience with unattractive chicks will create in him an aloofness toward all unattractive chicks that is similar in psychological composition to the aloofness a high value man will feel for the hot chicks he routinely bangs and even the ones he hasn’t banged.

THIS IS A GOOD THING. That aloofness is catnip to women. You may as well prop a neon sign over your head that says “Preselected by women who have come before you, and who are standing right next to you.” Aloofness is one of those male characteristics that women are finely tuned to discover, isolate, and hone in on, because it tells them, subconsciously of course, that THIS MAN, this one right here, has a lot of choice in women. ERGO, this man, this one right here, must be high value.

I can attest to the tangible effects of the beauty immunity power law. When I’m in a solid relationship, or when I’m on a hot streak dating multiple concurrent or consecutive women, then all women in general start to feel more approachable, less insurmountable (heh), and, tragically, less tolerable. The effect of familiarity with females and their foggy furrows is a steady glazing of my perception of their beauty, until they seem as if their faces are an indistinguishable mass of downy cotton balls. Worse, the tolerance, even enthusiasm, I would have just talking and spending idle time with women yields more frequently and submissively to competing distractions, like reading alone, hanging with buds, pursuing hobbies, or elevating my status for a potential trading-up of lovers. Her charming little tics I loved during the first few months soon become swarms of buzzing annoyances, and my mind begins the unstoppable drift to ELSEWHERE.

THIS IS A BAD THING. That transcendental stirring rocketing up from the groin and ricocheting off the sternum when you first set your post-pubertal eyes on hot high school girls weakens in proportion to your success bedding them. The bloom on the rose wilts with too much fertilizer.

But enough of that sentiment. The fact remains that inuring yourself to beautiful women, and to beauty itself, will make you a more lethal ladykiller.

So how do you expose yourself, as the reader suggested, to beautiful women such that they hold less power over your faculties and their flaws are more evident to your senses?

1. Bed a lot of them.

Guaranteed to work, and that’s why it’s the most difficult solution to the beauty immunity puzzle.

2. Train your mind away from pedestalization of female beauty.

Remember Poon Commandment X?

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

Starting today, stop flattering women’s looks, whether out loud or in your head.

3. Get into a line of work where you are ordering beautiful women to do your bidding.

If you can’t get sex with hot babes, the next best thing is authority. Fashion photographers are not known as casanovas for nothing.

4. Hang out with hot girls when they’re wasted and pissing themselves and vomiting.

This is a pretty good cure for one-itis. Don’t worry about supply. America is churning them out like cheap factory products lately.

5. Never stop macking.

The life of the lady’s man is always in forward motion. The day you slow down is the day you start misremembering your ex as hotter than she really was. By keeping women forever in your orbit, by hitting on them day and night and year after year, with intention or without, you remind yourself of the corporeal, earthly nature of women’s greatest asset, of their insufferable and dispiriting interchangeability, and your heart is steeled for the endless battle.

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When The Handicap Principle Is Just A Handicap

The Handicap Principle, or what is known in layman terms as conspicuous consumption, is an important biological hypothesis that explains why the males of some (most?) species have evolved costly status signaling displays. The idea is that a high fitness male demonstrates his high status to females by showing he can afford to waste resources on, for example, showy plumage or sport cars. It is objectively better for the male’s survival to not have heavy plumage that could make escape from predators more difficult, or to save money for future contingencies instead of waste it on an expensive car; yet, males of different species will often acquire these presumable maladaptations or waste resources on nonessentials because sexual selection exerts a force equally as powerful as natural selection.

So goes the theory. In reality, the theory bumps up against a wall.

You can’t get much more handicapped that that, unless you were limbless and genital-less with a concave forehead.

People open to the ideas of evolutionary psychology sometimes forget that nature operates within a system of checks and balances just as free markets and republics (putatively) do. The Handicap Principle helps explain some odd evolved male traits in species, but nature is always ensuring that the evolved handicap never gets too far out of control. Because when that happens, it’s no longer a status signal; it’s a real handicap that will repulse women or get you killed.

Game and the Handicap Principle have a rocky relationship. Handicapping yourself — a la Mystery with his furry hats and Victorian coats — is a great way to signal high status, IF you have compensating alpha male traits. Mystery has those compensating traits; specifically, his height, his grace under pressure, and his renowned game ability to handle the inevitable female shit tests and seamlessly escort women through the stages of seduction.

If, on the other hand, you are short, ugly, nerdy, insecure and without any game at all, dressing like Mystery is apt to backfire. Your calculated self-handicapping will not be a signal of confidence and high status, but an actual handicap that makes your job of getting laid harder than it need be. For you, the appropriate level of self-handicapping would be something along the order of uncommon shiny cufflinks or a gaudy ring. Just enough to incite curiosity in women, but not so much to banish yourself to the realm of weirdos.

Maxim #55: The degree to which you handicap yourself in an effort to signal high status to women should be commensurate with your game expertise and your confidence level.

The more confidently you can pull off showy clothes or an asshole attitude, and the more effortlessly you can deflect the shit you will invariably get from others offended by your ostentation, the more the Handicap Principle will work for you instead of against you.

Keep in mind, as well, that Mystery’s fraught couture is a game tactic in itself, designed to provoke reactions from women that allow Mystery to demonstrate his alpha prowess through his unperturbed handling of those reactions. You should welcome shit tests from women, because that means you have aroused interest in them. Mystery’s garish dress is a short cut to coaxing those much-valued shit tests out of women. But you need unshakeable confidence bordering on delusion to successfully pull it off, which, in my observation of fledgling PUAs, most men practicing the dark art of pickup don’t have in sufficient quantity.

For the average man who has leapt above the fray and grasped that important sex differences in psychology exist and thus interactions with women require a different toolkit than conventional wisdom offers, the Handicap Principle will be most relevant to him during the comfort stage of seducing a woman into bed (or into a longer-term relationship). In CH parlance, this is known as “vulnerability game“, and it is vital, in small doses, as a quasi-handicapping game technique for strengthening emotional connections with women.

Signaling that you possess beta provider potential is a powerful bonding glue to women who are at heart creatures of duality seeking the best of both alpha and beta in men. But since alpha is in rarer supply and harder to acquire, and since beta comes naturally to most men and is easier to acquire, the trick to finding the right balance is to emphasize your alpha while leavening it with droppings of beta. These beta droppings are the equivalent of handicapping yourself with costly displays of provider plumage and emotional vulnerability. They will only work when you have already established your attitudinal alpha male seed-cred.

If you haven’t established that alpha seed-cred, your beta droppings will go over like an elephant’s dung heap, because they won’t be droppings so much as “more of the supplicating same”. This is why women love to feel like they have to struggle to get a man to admit his emotional core, and dislike having men dump a bucket of their emotional core all over them. As women perceive it, the struggle is an irrefutable sign that the man is non-needy, has options with other women, and will give her the challenge she subconsciously craves.

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Don’t Split The Housework If You Want The Love To Last

We here at Chateau Heartiste have been pretty uniform in our assertion that relationships and marriages are more loving, and more sexually fulfilling, when men and women abide their ancient biological roles. Happiness comes from respecting the god of biomechanics. Unhappiness from denying him.

In a study sure to make feminists apoplectic, it was discovered that couples who share household chores are more likely to divorce.

Divorce rates are far higher among “modern” couples who share the housework than in those where the woman does the lion’s share of the chores, a Norwegian study has found.

In what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 per cent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.

“What we’ve seen is that sharing equal responsibility for work in the home doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment,” said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled “Equality in the Home”. [ed: readers of this blog will not be surprised by these results.]

The lack of correlation between equality at home and quality of life was surprising, the researcher said.

“One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite,” he said.

The figures clearly show that “the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate,” he went on.

File under: Don’t listen to what women say, watch what they do.

Women have been claiming for God knows how long that they want a man who will do his share of the housework, but when he does, their vaginas dry up like the Sahara. You see, equality of the sexes is a myth. Women don’t *really* want equal husbands. What women want are strong husbands who don’t act like women, which means, in practice, not puttering around the house dusting, mopping, vacuuming, cooking, or doing the laundry. A strong, masculine man is too busy — and too proud — to do shit like that. He has a mission in life outside the home, and women love that about him, even when they claim otherwise.

The reasons, Mr Hansen said, lay only partially with the chores themselves.

“Maybe it’s sometimes seen as a good thing to have very clear roles with lots of clarity … where one person is not stepping on the other’s toes,” he suggested.

“There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight.”

The sex’s division of labor evolved for a reason: it’s most compatible with the feminine and masculine sexual polarity. There are some pursuits and some kinds of work that are simply feminine in nature, and woe be the man who willingly takes up the woman’s work in an effort to appease her; he may as well grow a vagina, for that is how she will perceive his sexual attractiveness.

But when it comes to housework, women in Norway still account for most of it in seven out of 10 couples. The study emphasised women who did most of the chores did so of their own volition and were found to be as “happy” those in “modern” couples.

So much for the patriarchal power structure.

Dr Frank Furedi, Sociology professor at the University of Canterbury, said the study made sense as chore sharing took place more among couples from middle class professional backgrounds, where divorce rates are known to be high.

“These people are extremely sensitive to making sure everything is formal, laid out and contractual. That does make for a fairly fraught relationship,” he told the Daily Telegraph.

Middle class status striving: does a marriage bad!

“The more you organise your relationship, the more you work out diaries and schedules, the more it becomes a business relationship than an intimate, loving spontaneous one.”

Ain’t that the truth. Like CH has been trumpeting for years, spontaneity, unpredictability and a little bit of aloof frisson make Joe and Jane a happy couple. Pro-tip: Steer clear of ballcutting battle axes with honey-do lists.

“In a good relationship people simply don’t know who does what and don’t particularly care.”

America, fuck yeah! Just keep seducing your lover, and who does the “chores” becomes a non-issue.

The researchers expected to find that where men shouldered more of the burden, women’s happiness levels were higher. In fact they found that it was the men who were happier while their wives and girlfriends appeared to be largely unmoved.

Call this the Manboob-Schwyzer Syndrome. Guys do housework because they think it is the way to appease feminist shrikes, and then feel happy about contributing, while women get more depressed as their attraction for an apron-wearing kitchen bitch plummets.

Since women’s happiness largely dictates whether a marriage will last or dissolve, equality-minded husbands ought to be aware that their good deeds are going punished in the souls of their wives. You want to kill the sexual vibe in your wife? Start splitting the housework. She’ll never look at you as a sexy stud again. You want to keep the love strong? Let her clean the house. You’ll be in the garage tinkering on your motorcycle.

I really hope the harpies at Jizzebel read this and shake violently from surprise orgasm.

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