Why You Should Never Delete Stale Numbers

From the archives:

Girl: Hey, how are you! I saw you upstairs and wanted to say hi. We met already. Remember me? Sarah?

Me: [scanning her face… thinking… thinking… drawing a complete blank.] Yeah! You do look familiar! Hi, it’s nice to see you.

Girl: You too! I know we kind of left it off in a weird way. My life was really hectic at that time and that’s why I didn’t get back to you. I really was in the middle of a big move. But everything’s back to normal now.

Me: [remembering now] Oh yeah! I remember you. [shaking head] I thought that was an uncreative excuse.

Girl: No, it was the truth!

Me: You know what this means… You owe me 20 drinks and lots of flattery for hurting my sensitive feelings. You’ve got some catching up to do. You’re already in the hole, behind, like, 100 points.

Girl: Haha. Well, we’ll see about that. Anyhow, just wanted to say hi. [looking expectantly at me]

Me: Hm, I suppose now that you’re settled in we could take another shot at meeting up for a conversation.

Girl: Do you still have my number?

Me: I’m not sure. Lemme check. [SLOOOOWWWLY scrolling through my phone list, like I’m going through a thousand numbers] Here we are. Um, don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve got a few Sarahs in here. Don’t worry, some of these are old numbers from weeks ago. Let’s see if I get the right Sarah on the first guess. XXX-XXX-XXX?

Girl: Yep, that’s my number!

Me: OK, go back to your friends. I’ll give you a call sometime. Bye.

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Butt Pirates, Butt Pats, A Killer Line

If you like very feminine women (and what man doesn’t?), you’ll want to date girls who have gay relatives:

Andrea Camperio Ciani and colleagues at the University of Padua, Italy, showed that the female relatives of homosexual men tend to have more children, suggesting that genes on the X chromosome are responsible.

“It helps to answer a perplexing question – how can there be ‘gay genes’ given that gay sex doesn’t lead to procreation?” says Dean Hamer of the National Institutes of Health in Bethesda, Maryland, who was not involved in the work. “The answer is remarkably simple: the same gene that causes men to like men also causes women to like men, and as a result to have more children.”

Camperio Ciani emphasises that, rather than being a “gay gene”, this unidentified genetic factor is likely to promote sexual attraction to men in both men and women. This would influence a woman’s attitude rather than actually increasing her fertility, making her likely to have more children.

The girl’s attitude is key here. Femininity is not just curves, it’s temperament and personality. When I meet girls now I screen them for how many gay brothers and cousins they have:

“So this girl I used to date was telling me how great it is for her to have a gay brother, which is even better than a best gay boyfriend. Do you have any gay relatives?”

I believe screening for this in girls will mean a more romantic dating life, more affection from the girl, and fewer lawyers in my stable of regulars. In fact, I would bet any chick who is a lawyer has a lot of lesbian relatives.

*****

The downside of being President when people are watching: A girl offers you her ass and you have to politely decline:

Bush knuckled off a couple of lobs, but defending gold medalists Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh gave the chief executive some pointers. Then after a good play, in the tradition of female volleyballers, May-Treanor turned, bent over slightly and offered her bikinied rear-end for the 43rd president to slap.

“Mr. President,” she said, “want to?”

[…]Bush wisely chose instead to brush his hand across the small of May-Treanor’s back.

I’d have slapped, spread, and dry humped her. Of course, as President I’d set up a rendevous later in a secure location where she’d really get my approval for her good play.

I read the comments on some of the news sites to this story. Unsurprisingly to me, most of the negative comments were from women, who used it as an opportunity to bash Bush’s “perviness” and religious leanings. It’s funny how Bush is so unpopular with women, especially young women and feminists, when he did the “right thing” in this situation, and when by all accounts he’s a moral exemplar of the faithful, loyal (beta) husband. And yet a guy like Bill Clinton, who in practice shit all over feminist principles by sexually harassing interns, fucking subordinates, cheating on his wife multiple times, getting blowjobs from women considerably younger than himself, and even coming dangerously close to actual rape, is beloved by women and especially by the very same feminists whose phoniness and moral relativism Clinton showcased for the world. Beautiful. I trust the lesson has not escaped my readers.

bush to ass.

*****

Here is a great line you can tell a girl during the A2 (female to male interest) attraction phase to boost your value:

“I could introduce you to every guy in this room, but I can guarantee that none of them will be as interesting as me.”

Concepts hit: DHV, social status, push-pull. It’s been field tested and proven successful, so give it a try and let me know how it goes.

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Universal Truths Day

In keeping with the spirit of the first Universal Truths Day, here is another installment of universal truths by which you can guide your life and deflect the sophistry of your foes.

***

The louder people protest and the quicker they resort to insults the closer you are to telling a truth they don’t like.

The angrier someone reacts to criticism, the more likely your criticism is accurate. Multiply anger factor by 10 for any criticism of a woman.

If you can afford to put yourself down you have value.

If you can brag without inspiring resentment or annoyance you don’t have value.

Every woman — and I mean EVERY woman — will cheat if enough conditions are met.

The minute you start spending money on a woman is the minute she starts to expect having money spent on her.

• Corollary: If you spend on a woman like she’s a whore, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

If you become famous worldwide and leave hundreds of children and grandchildren as your legacy you will be the same memory-less nothing after your death as the solitary homeless bum who dies in the gutter. May as well live in the now and maximize your pleasure.

The only times to laugh at yourself are when it raises your value, or mitigates a drop in your value.

Legalizing prostitution will reduce the incidence of rape.

Soliciting prostitutes will alleviate the symptoms of malignant betatude, but the only cure is the love of a woman freely given.

Never spend more than a few drinks’ worth of money on a woman before you have fucked her. If you’re going to pay for a woman, may as well go to a prostitute; at least you know she’ll put out.

If you have no other choice, treating women like shit will bring you more sexual and romantic satisfaction than treating women nicely.

Don’t get married. The piece of paper is unnecessary for having a loving relationship with a woman. Any woman you are dating who tells you otherwise does not love you completely.

The question to ask yourself is not “Will she like me?”, it’s “Do I want her?”.

The strongest frame you can bring to any interaction with a woman is the frame of qualifying her.

The strongest skill you can bring to any interaction with a woman is the ability to listen and remember.

The strongest first impression you can make with a woman is the way you walk over to her.

The strongest image you can present to a woman is one of contrast. Nothing builds intrigue like contrast.

Bitterness is created, not born.

If you’re not mentally prepared for your girlfriend to leave you tomorrow, she will be more likely to do so.

What you will never hear in marriage counseling: The divorce rate would drop in half if men learned to say Shut the fuck up and women stayed the same size they were on their wedding day.

Every woman has an inner whore. Pay her in the currency of a good fuck.

Don’t allow the biomechanics of love to spoil the beauty of it for you. Don’t allow the beauty of love to blind you to the reality of earning it.

People are at their most sincere when they’re pissed off.

Don’t take yourself seriously when other people are. Take yourself seriously when other people aren’t.

If you need to set rules for yourself, the Three Date Rule is a good place to start.

Indulge hate like you would indulge love. The energy of both can be a creative force, and it makes you a well-rounded person.

It is more likely to be true that a wife will love her deformed husband than a husband will love his deformed wife.

The biggest difference between men and women? A man will stick his dick in an attractive stranger’s warm pussy without exchanging one word.

Men who truly believe in feminism are beta chumps. An alpha may parrot the lies of feminism but he won’t take them to heart or act in accordance with its principles.

Your genes don’t give a shit about you. Their goal is to replicate, not make you happy.

You will get more pussy if you substitute going out Monday nights for Friday nights.

Sarcasm is the tool of the insecure.

If you catch your woman lying to your face, leave her immediately. No more good is to be had from that relationship.

Adopt a mentality of abundance instead of scarcity. It will become a self-fulfilling philosophy. In this way you will never fear to lose a girl. And in your fearlessness she will not want to leave you.

Make a habit of imagining you will die in a year. What would you do differently today?

The best way to gain perspective is to focus on those below you. The best way to gain motivation is to focus on those above you. Strike a balance.

Don’t let anyone tell you revenge is the instinct of the weak. They’ve just never experienced its sweet deliverance.

Children’s games make great adult dates.

Pity is a form of contempt.

When you’ve lost your curiosity, you’ve taken one step closer to vegetable status.

A happy fulfilling relationship starts with you believing you are better than your woman.

You don’t really give a shit about the poor.

Condoms suck.

Circumcision will make you last longer, at the expense of pleasure. It is a discredited barbaric practice.

Women love men who love themselves. Men love women capable of loving someone other than themselves.

You can gain more knowledge from a Wikipedia entry than traveling to lay on the beach in a foreign country.

Don’t be ashamed to create your myth.

Credentialism is the philosophy of the fearful, the self-doubting and the deferential.

A woman who has won your heart will slowly lose interest in you unless you take steps to counter it.

Make love when you can, because it is good.

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When It Goes South

You can’t expect to sleep with every girl you decide to approach. Even though I’m batting .998, I understand that we don’t live in a perfect world. There will be times when a girl won’t win me over and I’ll have to chalk it up as an anomaly. When a conversation goes south your first instinct will often be the wrong one. After a crash and burn, many guys will awkwardly stand idly around the uncomfortable girl, looking dazed and confused. Other guys will lash out. Some will display beta body language as they meekly excuse themselves. Still others will freeze up, hoping for rescue by a wingman or tornado warning.

When a girl has failed your screening, your reaction should depend on the circumstances in which you first opened or approached her.

• You walked up to her from across the room

The worst thing you can do is hover around her, like an orbiting chunk of beta space debris, as she unceremoniously turns her back on you. I can’t think of a situation that would make your value plummet any faster, except maybe sharting yourself in public and then crying as someone hands you a wet nap.

Solution: Walk away if no one else you can talk to is nearby. But do it slowly and deliberately. Scooting off like a golfer running for shelter in a storm exposes your shame and urge to find relief. If you had a tail, it would be between your legs. Walking away slowly, head up back straight, shows you are unaffected by the tension. If there’s another girl nearby you’d like to talk to, do that instead. Nothing is more alpha in the face of a crash and burn than turning around to start an animated conversation with another girl. There’s no more effective way to say “I JUST DON’T GIVE A SHIT”.

Problems to look out for: If your failed pickup attempt was seen by other girls there is a risk the perception of betaness will infect them like a social virus. Girls are highly attuned to the body language of other girls, so if your target turns cold and crosses her arms any other girls who witnessed it will automatically lower your value, making further pickups in the same place more difficult. Realistically, though, most girls will be absorbed in their own conversations and won’t notice. If you’re worried about it, approach your next girl on the other side of the room. Eventually, your approaches should follow a pattern resembling a game of Pickle.

• She sat down next to you

She’s on your turf, so all the power rests with you.

Solution: Relax, do nothing. If she fails to impress you, the burden is entirely on her to alleviate her discomfort by either moving away or dealing with it. There is no loss of value if you hold your ground.

Problems to look out for: If you’re sitting alone, and she’s with a large group of people having a good time, your manly presence will shrink in comparison. Sometimes it’s intriguing to be that solitary mysterious cool lone wolf; sometimes it’s not.

• You’re with a group and she happened to be standing nearby

Walking away is unnecessary in this situation, since your friends are right there to return to after a bad opening.

Solution: Swing right around and go back to talking with your friends. Make a game of it! Loudly proclaim, being sure she can overhear, how badly she failed to make a love connection with you and ask your friends for a group hug. Announce with exaggerated drama that you don’t know how you will be able to move on.

Problems to look out for: Your drunk friend decides to re-open the girl you just bombed with and drags her uncomfortably back into the fray.

• You approached her in a store or on the street

Any failed pickups in public are easily resolved. Just go back to whatever you were supposedly doing. It will be entirely plausible.

Solution: If you hit on her in the museum and the conversation fizzled, walk away to admire another painting. If you hit on her in Beadazzled pretending to look for beads to make a bracelet for your little niece (not that I’ve ever done anything like that) resume a look of concentration and go back to shopping for beads.

Problems to look out for: None. Failed public approaches have almost zero consequences.

• She’s the bartender at your favorite bar

Dangerous. Either fuck her or don’t return until you can parade another chick in front of her.

Solution: If you really flame out, you may have to avoid the bar for a while. Otherwise, be cheeky about it and ask her, since you’re a solid customer with a track record of generous tipping, if she can be your wingwoman for that cute girl sitting on the other side of the bar.

Problems to look out for: Making the male bartenders jealous.

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So You Want To Be A Badboy

Here is a partial list of behaviors that badboys do around their women.

• A badboy will occasionally tell his girl to “fuck off”, “shut up”, or “shut the fuck up”, sometimes even when she deserves it.
• When his girl tells an unfunny joke, a badboy will look right at her and not laugh at all, making her feel uncomfortable.
• His GF lives out of town. She calls him and wants to drive into town to see him. A badboy will tell her “No” once in a while but give her no reason why, because he wants to hit the bars with his crew that night and hook up with another girl.
• His GF drove into town anyway and went to the bar with him. A badboy would make sure she doesn’t kiss him in public and instead use her like an advertising billboard to atract other girls. He will get another girl’s number and tell his GF he only wants to make a new friend.
• A girl a badboy has just met tells him she has a boyfriend and makes him promise to not kiss her that night. The badboy says “Sure” and kisses her later, anyway. Then he slides his hand up her skirt for good measure.
• In extreme circumstances, a badboy will kick his girl out of the car… while it’s still rolling to a stop.
• A badboy will forget every birthday, anniversary, and holiday. He will never apologize for his forgetfulness, but he will make it up to her by giving her the rogering of her life.
• If a girl tries to make him jealous, the badboy will tell her she should get out of his hair and go marry the new guy if she likes him so much, they’re perfect together. He will then hum the tune “Here Comes the Bride” but will call it “Here Comes the Bitch”.
• When his GF tells him “I love you”, the badboy will reply “Cool beans” while thinking about his date next Tuesday with girl #2.
• A badboy will use “BEYOTCH!” non-ironically.
• A badboy will be late for every date by at least 10 minutes, no exceptions. He will act as if nothing is wrong.
• If caught with another woman, the badboy will not beg forgiveness or make excuses. He will instead “remind” his primary girl that he is dating around until he finds his soulmate. If he’s a really badass badboy, he’ll tell her he’s been waiting for her to join the fun and then pat the bed.
• A badboy does not hide the video camera set up in his bedroom. Or the other girls’ hair on the pillows.
• “I’ve had enough of your shit” is a stock badboy response to his GF acting out. He will use it liberally, and accentuate the point by putting on oversized headphones and bobbing his head to the music.
• A badboy knows he has something the world’s betas don’t — the cahones to WALK. He’ll walk out the door at the slightest provocation or annoyance, slamming it shut for added effect, thereby setting the standard VERY HIGH indeed for his GF to remain on her best behavior around him.
• Badboys never split the domestic chores and always leave the seat up. “Equal” is not part of their vocabulary.
• Badboys will surprise fuck their GFs in public… with children nearby.
• Badboys never talk about their work with their women. They always keep it fun, light, and teasing.
• Badboys know it’s OK to get angry and bitch your woman out. They do not fear the consequences.

If you are struggling to attract women, get laid, and fall in mutual love, then incorporate the badboy behaviors into your life and watch your girl troubles melt away.

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More Thoughts On The Poon Commandments

Some of my commenters on the Sixteen Commandments post seemed confused. I thought it would be a good idea to answer their objections.

II, keep her jealous, has to be done with care. Too much flirting with other women might lead her to dump you.
– Glorious Natural Pelt Guy

Obviously you don’t want to blatantly flirt with every women who crosses your path when your girlfriend/wife is with you. There are diminishing returns past a certain excessively slavish adherence to the commandments. Even super alphas can overplay their alpha cards. But you’d be surprised just how much you can get away with (and by “get away with” I mean “make your GF horny while she watches you flirt shamelessly with other women”).

they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known.

This is, BY FAR, the biggest mistake that men without game make.
– Usually Lurking

A man making his sexual intentions known does NOT mean going up to a random girl and asking if she wants to fuck. I should hope even gameless betas understand this basic concept.

One question: Any influence of age of the woman applicability?
– Anton

Only in degree, not kind. Of course, the closer she gets to hitting the wall, the less game you’ll need. Eventually, just showing up will suffice.

If a man’s Alpha enough to have a couple of women in “reserve” he doesn’t need any of this advice in the first place.
– GNP Guy again

He doesn’t need it because he already uses it. QED.

You’d figure that those commandments would be like a default behavior in all men, not just a province of skilled casanovas. And yet that’s not so. In fact, many — most — men take the exactly opposite approach. Why is that?
– PA

It’s an interesting question why the commandments behavior doesn’t come naturally to most men. It’s as if dressing provocatively, batting eyelashes, acting coy, and showing a little leg didn’t come naturally to women on the prowl. We know that isn’t true for the vast majority of women. All I know is if every man followed these precepts there’d be a lot more fucking in the world resulting in a lot more happy smiles on the faces of the sexually satisfied.

Not only the average guy, but no guy, can hold to these commandments at all times. Some are better than others, but everyone falls eventually.

Trying to follow these commandments is like trying to fight being human and actually feeling things. […] In an effort to fight your feelings, you have done something very “male”: tried to fix the problem.
– Tina Fey (AKA Lemmonex)

There’s no need to follow the letter of the biomechanical law every minute of every day. Simply adjusting his behavior and mental state by as little as 10% so that he acts more in alignment with his yang polarity can mean the difference between a breakup and relationship bliss. Falling once in a while is not the same as staying down, which is how many diehard betas live their lives.

Since men are the chosen in the mating dance, they have to be more aware of reality than do women. If men ignore reality, they risk involuntary celibacy. If a woman looks attractive (which is most of them during their prime fertile years), she can ignore reality to her heart’s content as unicorns and rainbows shower her in cellophane raindrops and still have suitors lined up around the block to fuck her. That is why men work to “fix the problem” where there is a problem. It isn’t a fight against his feelings, it’s an ENDORSEMENT of his feelings that he will do what it takes to satisfy his desires.

Don’t be surprised if tactics and manipulation attract the like.

Lastly, too concerned about alphaness = beta.
– Kay Gee

All goal-directed communication is manipulative. (Ask yourself: Is advertising evil?) The natural womanizer manipulates just as much as the beta spitting a routine in emulation of the natural. The difference is the natural does it instinctually. Manipulation doesn’t magically become noble just because it is done at the subconscious level, just like our immune system isn’t more noble than man-made synthetic drugs for fighting off illness. To wit: We are all being manipulated by our genes right now.

Re: too much concern about appearing alpha = beta. Natural alphas are very concerned about maintaining their status. They’re just better at coolly concealing it.

In fact, an alpha doesn’t have to fall in love to make himself look ridiculous. Just being too arrogant, and too eager for sex, even the casual kind, can lead him to serious humiliation.
– Clio

In opposition to your point, Clio, you have described a beta. An alpha knows not to be arrogant or overeager. And falling in love is not beta, but expressing feelings of love before the woman has made that leap for her man is courting with beta disaster.

I think broadly speaking he is correct in the wooing phase, but a lot of the rules will end in disaster if applied to a steady relationship. I think it’s telling that nearly all the PUA cannot maintain a relationship AND GET DUMPED. Something tells me that PUA stuff simply fails when applied to long-term relationships.
– Whiskey

Of the PUAs I know, many of them jump in and out of relationships because they like the variety. Fresh pussy is a potent addiction, and if you’ve got the skills to score it, you’ll be less inclined to strap yourself into a monogamous arrangement. Personally, I like the best of both worlds — love with an incredible woman spiced up by the occasional fling.

Men are if anything *more* emotional than women. But they are less expressive. This can paradoxically result in stronger emotions.
– MQ

Men have greater emotional peaks and valleys that often find articulation in physicality, as with impassioned fucking, fighting, and forging. Women have a steadier whitenoise hum of emotions at a higher baseline than men but with muted peaks and valleys. Women handle their emotional static by incessantly talking it out with whomever will listen, much like you would vent the pressure of a steam buildup by slowly turning the release valve. See: [REDACTED]. Or most female bloggers for that matter.

His commandments may be good for “poon” as the title states, but suck for how to “keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life” as the last sentence suggests. But what do I know? I’m just a girl.
– Hope (AKA The Putatively Rare Exception)

A woman’s psychological essence doesn’t radically change after she’s been with a man longer than three months. Her brain doesn’t rewire itself into a wholly new entity unrecognizable from the woman she was on the first date once she’s in a committed relationship. The differences between the sexes are binding, immutable core characteristics. What turns a woman on during the first few hours will turn her on in the tenth year. The commandments are equally effective for long term relationships and short term hookups. The only thing that differs is the intensity of commandment administration. If you don’t believe me, observe those men who do the exact opposite of all my commandments with the women in their lives, and watch as they rend their striped shirt garments in anguish wondering why they get jettisoned for less “virtuous” interlopers.

and ever since [my husband] started being more caring and affectionate…
– The Audacity of Hope

Being caring and affectionate and following my commandments are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they are mutually reinforcing. Think about it.

Playing games inside a marriage rather than just finding a suitable partner to begin with seems to indicate the wrongness of the pairing rather than the rightness of these “commandments.”
– Hope begged for my very special lessons

The commandments aren’t about “playing games” anymore than being a good provider is about playing games. They are about acknowledging reality and giving the woman you love what she truly desires. Suitable partners don’t fall from trees on the side of the road. They must be found, wooed, and nourished in love, like a garden. Hope, I hope this helps.

Yours in universal orgasmic consciousness.

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The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon

I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first

Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold.

II. Make her jealous

Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship.

III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority

Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore.

IV. Don’t play by her rules

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable.

V. Adhere to the golden ratio

Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

VI. Keep her guessing

True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you.

VII. Always keep two in the kitty

Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood.

VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary

Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely.

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

X. Ignore her beauty

The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.

XI.  Be irrationally self-confident

No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism.

XII.  Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses

In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft.

XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little

Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time.

XIV. Fuck her good

Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms.

XV. Maintain your state control

You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.

XVI.  Never be afraid to lose her

You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

***

The closer you follow the letter of these commandments, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life.

Best.

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