Boyfriend Destroyer?

What do you do if you’re being used… and you know it?

An awkward scenario in which to find yourself embroiled is to be dating a girl you like, who also likes you and has made that known, but who is deep into a multi-year relationship with another guy that she has told you about, and which is currently on shaky ground for reasons she’s given that you’re not sure you believe entirely except for the hard evidence of her sleeping with you.

As guys, we should always strive for two in the kitty. It’s best to keep the embers burning with at least two women so you can swing straight into new pussy when one goes stale. A grinding dry spell will put you in a horrible state of mind for meeting women. Girls can sniff a lonely, unattended penis from 12 parsecs, and it’s not attractive to them. Where men get turned off by another man’s seed contaminating the vagina he would like to fuck, women get turned ON when another woman’s pussy juice, especially a hotter woman, is greasing the pole of the man she likes.

(Of course, women will say otherwise. Don’t bother paying attention. They are kidding themselves.)

The reverse scenario, the one I mentioned above, doesn’t happen for the same reason. Women aren’t afraid of a lengthy bout of celibacy like men are if their relationship should end. They don’t swing from dick branch to dick branch because they can’t go two days without sex. When women allow a second man into their lives for longer than a one-off fuck it’s usually for one of two reasons:

1. To test the mettle of their primary relationship.
2. To seek an excuse to leave their primary relationship.

If you are the “other guy” banging a girl who already has a serious boyfriend, it’s important that you try to determine as best you can which reason applies to her. Knowing where you stand won’t make much difference in how you should act, but it will help you decide whether to exit or dig in your heels. As VK said, the dick sandwich is no fun place to be, but at least knowing about it frees you to remove all investment and relentlessly hit on new girls.

If it’s reason #1, then you are dealing with a girl who still loves her boyfriend, but has doubts. She has either been hurt by him or he spends a lot of time away from her on travel. Her faith in a future with him is not as certain as it once was. She sees you as a litmus test — “Can I survive this charming new guy’s interest in me and still feel love for my fading boyfriend?”

Unless you don’t care about the girl as anything more than a short fling, you don’t want to be put in the position of a litmus test. She is using you. You are a tool. If you know this, then you won’t be surprised when she suddenly stops speaking to you. And you won’t feel guilty about not spending one red cent on her for any dates. Prepare to walk away from her at a moment’s notice.

If it’s reason #2, then she sees you as a real alternative to her main boyfriend whom she no longer loves. If you like her and want more than a sexual tryst, then you have a shot to usurp the boyfriend. Run your game like you would if she were completely single. The worst thing you could do is try to push a conclusion; that will send her flying back into the boyfriend’s arms. Play it cool. If she likes you more than him, she’ll eventually dump him and find her way to you.

There is no guaranteed way to determine which reason is valid. It’s an inexact science of subtle body language and subcommunication. Girls lie as a matter of habit. You could take a high risk gamble and ask her point blank if she loves her boyfriend. If she hesitates or answers “That’s a weird question” then she doesn’t love him. Proceed apace. If she says yes and looks wistfully into the distance, then she probably still loves him. Get your dick wet a couple times with her and take pics for future masturbatory delight.

The big downside to dating a taken girl is the threat of an irate boyfriend coming after you. A girl who wants to push her boyfriend to the edge in order to gauge his commitment to her, or wants to rub salt in his wounds before leaving him, will — *oops!* — casually mention your existence to him. You’d be amazed how many smart, supposedly normal girls, are prone to this sort of “let’s you and him fight” primitive mentality.

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Girls Who Lie

I was listening to a morning talk show and the subject was about local area bars cheating customers by using false pint glasses with thicker bottoms that only hold 14 ounces of beer, and leaving too much head on top. Since this is a major breach of bar patron trust many irate callers offered opinions on what to do, which basically boiled down to stiffing the bartenders on tips, informing the manager of your displeasure, or choosing a new bar. Stiffing a bartender is not usually a good idea since it’s the bar manager who sets policy, and most bartenders are on your side.

When you catch a girl you are dating in a lie that matters you are presented with a few alternative ways to respond. Although it’s fun to think of a girl as “tapping a keg”, she isn’t a bar and doesn’t have a manager you could complain to, so that option is not available. You don’t want to call her out on her lie because that will accomplish nothing; if she’s comfortable lying in the first place calling her out isn’t going to reform her character. You’re not the first man she lied to, and you won’t be the last.

In my experience, you have two acceptable courses of action:

• Ignore the lie, but know who you’re dealing with.

Knowledge is the key to managing a woman. If you catch her in a serious lie you will feel like she isn’t treating you with the respect you deserve and you will want to dump all over her, but before you do remember that you’ve gained some very crucial leverage over her — you know her character. Now you can handle her appropriately. Have some fun, enjoy her company (read: sex), but move her to your second or third tier of women. You owe her nothing. Maintaining a code of silence on your discovery of her lie is a form of power that will allow you to hold her at arm’s length and remove all her tools of manipulation.

Identifying a bad seed is important so you don’t waste too much time and energy trying to find her nonexistent inner beauty.

• Leave her.

Character is destiny. A woman who lies about serious shit will not make a good long term girlfriend, wife or mother for anyone, so if you are a man looking for that you may want to streamline your dating efficiency and drop her like you would drop a bar serving pints in 14 ounce glasses. But don’t tell her exactly why you are leaving. As I wrote above:

Maxim #13: Calling a girl out on her lie accomplishes nothing.

Instead, cut through the ego bullshit and tell her the *deeper* truth — she is free to do whatever she wants with her life but you expect loyalty from the women you date. Say no more. Just stop calling.

***

Do men or women lie more? I finally have the answer to that player’s pickup question.

Men occasionally lie about the big things. Women lie about everything all the time. Like gossip, it’s just another tactic for them to manufacture the drama they so desperately crave in their lives. Your goal should be to find that quality woman who lies about the big stuff less than the average woman.

I don’t advocate lying to get into a girl’s pants, not for ethical reasons but because it isn’t necessary. Good game will get you there without the lies, and you’re less likely to get busted in the future. I do lie by omission sometimes, like not telling a girl my oversized member might hurt her, or that I’m dating around, unless she asks. I might even lie if she asks, because if I’ve just started dating another girl on the side I don’t consider that “dating another girl”. In my moral calculus, “dating” means more than five dates and you’ve banged her more than once. Anything less is “sampling”. This system has worked for me so far.

If you cross paths with a weak woman given to lying, don’t try to save her from herself. And don’t use her natural weakness as an excuse to get in the mud with her. Instead, look out for number one and do what’s in your best interest. Adopt a 1 to 10 sliding moral scale and place the women you date along that scale based on how you judge their characters.

All else equal, the closer she gets to 10 the more you will want to invest in her. She is worth it.

The closer she is to 1, the less you will want to invest in her. She is a succubus and will own your soul if you let her. Devalue her and let the good times roll. Your sperm will likely be mixing with another man’s sperm in her vagina.

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I Only Play Games With Girls Who Deserve It

I get this occasionally from some girls I date, usually after they have dumped a major shit test on me and I am forced to respond with advanced game:

“Why does everything have to be a test with you?”

I thought about this and reflected on my history with women. It was partly true. With certain girls I’ve dated, I was in game mode all the time. One girl even said that she knew when I would return her calls because I would always wait the requisite 20 minutes.

Dispiritingly, dogmatic game — press this button, pull that lever — will work as intended. You can never truly BE YOURSELF with women because almost all men being themselves will regress to lounging on the couch in their underwear as long as their basic needs are met. Literally, you could put a feeding tube in a guy’s mouth, a drainage tube up his anus, a playstation controller in his hand, and a girl’s mouth on his cock and he’ll lay there like that until he spontaneously self-combusts.

And women too. Look what happens to women who have totally given up on finding a man — they blow up like whales, wear flip flops all the time, and cut their hair short. When you see a frumpy, charmless, fat woman you know she is BEING HERSELF.

So why do I overgame with some girls and not others? It’s not a looks thing. Some of the prettiest girls I’ve been with were a breeze to handle once in a relationship, even though during the first crucial dates they were the toughest to game. Hot girls tend to frontload their gameplaying, so if you breach their beachhead it’s a clear march to center city.

I think it’s an ego issue, or maybe one of intelligence. Very smart girls are always on the lookout for Machiavellian maneuvers in their men because they do it themselves. The world is our mirror. Combined with a powerful but sensitive ego, a girl like this will be hyperaware of manipulation and deathly afraid of getting hurt. Stephane of Ideagasms calls these types of women (and men) Interrogators — a subspecies of Energy Vampires:

Interrogators are (initially) difficult to detect, because
they are perfectionists; These people see the life as a
competitive GAME and they are quite masterful when it comes
to manipulating others.  

Their philosophy?  “Life is just a game – You either play
by the rules, or you’re a loser.” They see the world as
Win/Lose instead of Win/Win.

That’s a great metaphor for explaining what Interrogators
do to people, because when you spot an Interrogator and try
to gently point out what he or she is doing, they too will
pretend that they are innocent and that this heavily
ingrained and entirely OBVIOUS pattern of behavior does not
exist.

Then they will turn around and casually remark that there is
something wrong with YOU. They’ll go, “Why would you say
that? Why are you so PARANOID, huh?” (Notice they are not
really asking a question, but rather, making a statement
about you.)

Or they will accuse you of being “too sensitive”… as if
*sensitivity* was a bad thing!

MANY of the top “seduction community gurus” are simply
INTERROGATORS. This is why they “play the game” and have
all sorts of complicated “chess moves” and strategies for
interacting with women. They have a HIDDEN AGENDA.

Interrogators ask a lot of rhetorical questions, and often play
“Devil’s advocate”. But, the questions they ask are not
questions at all! It is their attempt to break down your
reality in the form of negative presuppositions about you.

Overgaming can be caustic to forming a relationship with a girl you really like. The best relationships are built on a foundation of sincerity, not mutually asssured deconstruction. It’s a tragedy when the couple really like each other and the mutual gaming undermines the potential for a deeper connection. Game and ego-protection will always be a necessary component of any interaction you have with quality women, but it should be relegated to a supplement after a certain amount of bonding has occurred. At some point, you have to open your heart and let the chips fall where they may.

So when I game too much for too long, it’s with the girls who deserve it. If I’m getting shit tested all the time, or she’s in Aloof and Indifferent mode every other day, or I sense that she’s hiding something, I will respond in kind. We calibrate our actions and behavior to match the other person’s. Women, being the gatekeepers and mate choosers, are responsible for how men strategize to get in their pants and their hearts. If a girl makes it hard for a guy to be sincere by playing Miss Scheming Queen, he will react with more game. If she’s letting him know how much she loves him, he will be real with her.

You get what you give.

Make no mistake, this is not an anti-game screed. Game is absolutely essential in the beginning stages (See: Mystery Method’s A1 – S3) for every women you want to sex, unless your value is so much higher than hers that you can do nothing and she’ll throw herself on your junk. Relationship game is also important to keep the embers burning.

But in time the doubt has to ease and the soul has to breathe. Anything less would be… uncivilized.

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Handicap Principle

A reader sent me this pic of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and wondered if it showed that Cruise is secretly a nancyboy beta:

signaling the mothership.

The average man could not get away with this obsequious lean-in. If the average man did this with his girlfriend in public men looking on would cringe and women would “AWW” with pity as their vaginas snapped shut. Later that night, the girlfriend of the average man who leaned in would find an excuse to not have sex with him.

Despite the lean-in and the jumping up and down on couches professing his love for Katie, Tom Cruise is a super alpha. He can afford to display the saccharine romantic lovey-dovey behavior of the daydreaming beta because he has extra alpha to spare. It’s why rock stars can sing about the most maudlin treacle, emoting to their hearts’ content about writing love letters for that one special girl who dances in the meadows, without incurring a hit to their sexual market value. In fact, beta signaling by an alpha will actually raise the alpha’s status, helping him avoid the pitfall of being tagged as “arrogant” by potential admirers.

Therefore, if you are a natural super alpha, some acceptable beta things you can do (or are likely already doing) to handicap yourself and paradoxically increase your value are:

• Self-deprecating humor

Natural betas who self-deprecate too much are seen as weak and self-loathing. Natural alphas who self-deprecate are viewed as charming.

• Buying girls drinks

A beta who is generous too soon will seem approval-seeking. An alpha who is generous will seem like an alpha who is generous.

• PDA

Betas should really try hard to curb this urge. Alphas don’t have to worry about slobbering over their girlfriends once in a while, though they rarely do.

• Poetry and mash notes

The closer you are to a natural super alpha, the more you can live your life like a Hollywood movie. This means writing poetry for your girl won’t cost you attractiveness points. If you are a beta, you should never pour your heart out in poems for your girl, unless she has gotten older or fatter. In those cases, she will receive your poem with more gratitude.

• Crying

Dangerous! To be on the safe side, neither alphas nor betas should ever cry in front of their girlfriends, and preferably not in private either (it builds the right habits). But if the circumstances are favorable, and the alpha vibe is particularly strong, and his crying technique is solid, a man may shed a single tear. If all goes well, this act of vulnerability can make a girl’s heart explode with love. NOTE: If your pregnant tear has succeeded in eliciting sexually aroused emotions in your girl, DO NOT get greedy and attempt a second tear. The spell can be broken as quickly as it was cast, and you will go from sensitive strongman to weepy wuss instantly. Wait at least one year before unloading the powerful man tears again.

• Complimenting other men

A beta should refrain from excessive flattery of his betters. In fact, the beta should try not to compliment other men at all, even when the compliment is deserved and the other man’s social cachet is obvious. It’s just too risky. People will presume the complimenting beta is a lickspittle as opposed to assuming the complimenting alpha is someone who is secure enough in himself to offer kind words to other men.

• Lovemaking

Betas – don’t. You should stick to aggressive fucking and kinky sex. An alpha can mix it up with slow lovemaking without risking his status as the one “in charge” in the bedroom.

• Porn

Betas should try and conceal their extensive porn collection from their women, because otherwise they will be pegged as loser pervs. Alphas don’t need to be so secretive about their porn. She’ll probably blame herself for not being enough for him and work twice as hard during sex.

Postscript: Where beta signaling works for alphas, alpha signaling works for betas. Alpha signaling is the heart of game.

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Steroid Questions

I’m looking for some answers to questions I have about steroids and their use. This is for a, uh… book report. Anyone who has useful information or advice is encouraged to leave a comment.

What are the mild class of steroids?
Where and from whom can they be bought? Do users go to Mexico to stock up?
How much do they cost?
How are they cycled?
Is an estrogenic aromatase necessary during the down cycle?
This is important – are there any that don’t need to be injected? (I have a crippling phobia of needles ever since I saw a big guy poke another big guy who was bending over with his shorts down to his knees in the ass with a needle in a gym locker room.)
For those who take them – describe your experience. How much higher was your energy level on the juice?

Please spare me any moralizing. I have no interest in getting hyooge. And I know there are classes of roids that are relatively benign in their side effects, like Winstrol and Deca. I’ve been around enough doctors to know most of them have a reprehensible lack of knowledge about recent research in their fields of specialty. They toe the conventional wisdom. “Roids are baaad for you!” will get you nowhere here. I’m no drug warrior.

Oh yeah, and what are your opinions of HGH?

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Flip Cup Game

Is there any easier venue for meeting girls than the house party? No. Think about the advantages and short cuts the house party gives you:

1. No cold approaches, only “warm” approaches. You may have never met the girl before but at a house party that doesn’t matter. There’s an expectation that people will introduce themselves to other house party guests.
2. Convenient opener material. “So how do you know [host’s name]?” Simple. Also gives you instant higher status if you know the host but she doesn’t.
3. The girls are friendlier. Where a club or bar causes bitch shields to power up to maximum deflection, a house party softens frontline defenses. Think of the house party like a Davos diplomatic circle jerk and the bars like the trenches of WWI. Where would you rather be?
4. The girls are cooler. True fact. Remember the girls you met at clubs versus the girls you met at house parties. Who did you have more fun talking to?
5. Automatic social proof. You’re at a house party so you must have friends, ergo you’re normal and socially accepted. The girls’ fear of getting hit on by a weird loner omega is alleviated.
6. NO COCKBLOCK. Seriously, how often do you see blatant CB attempts at house parties? Flocks of girls tend to disperse in the comfortable confines of a home or apartment as opposed to the perimeter defense they enforce in the bars. You’re more likely to find the CB wandering off by herself and getting lost in the kitchen having shots with the other castaway cockblocks.

DOWNSIDE

The girls won’t be as hot. The upper attractiveness tier of chicks are more validation-addicted than the lower tiers. They aren’t going to waste their best years of attention whoring in house parties when they could command a much larger audience of suckups in the clubs. But if you don’t mind sacrificing 8s and 9s for boffing 7s with agreeable personalities, then you should focus on house parties.

Flip cup and other drinking games may be retarded but they’re staples of the house party and an excellent skill every player under the age of 24 should master. You’re in close contact with the girls “accidentally” brushing up against them, the girls are getting drunker by the second, and if you’re good you can demonstrate higher status by humiliating your male competitors and showing mercy when one of them looks like he’s about to puke. If you have a high tolerance for alcohol you’ll always be one sober step ahead of the girls. A good player knows to keep his wits about him when pussy is on the line.

advanced ping pong.

A guy at this party asked me to join this energetic flip cup game. I politely declined. At my age, I’m cultivating a suave James Bond (Connery, of course) identity for myself and flip cup doesn’t fit that image. I think the girls were impressed with my tumbler of whiskey.

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Stray Thoughts On The Nature Of The Game

Don’t answer all of a girl’s questions, especially when it feels like you are being interrogated. Refraining from giving her satisfactory answers helps move the seduction forward in two ways. One, it builds mystery. Two, if you answer all her questions she has more material with which to judge you when she gets home after the date and mulls everything over in her chaotic head. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get a call back after you have dutifully answered all her questions.

***

The best reason to learn game is that it is a shortcut to a woman’s pussy and heart. With game, you can stop wasting years as an empty vessel of society’s expectations scraping and clawing your way into a respectable bourgeois existence for your shot at one mediocre pussy and a gift registry at Williams & Sonoma. There is no need to become an “alpha among men” when you can skip the middleman and go straight to becoming an “alpha among women”. Of course, becoming an alpha among men is fun in its own right, but it’s no longer necessary to enjoy a life filled with the love of beautiful and sexy women. In fact, it never was necessary.

***

When the revelation that there is nothing after this life but the illimitable black void is grasped, hedonism is the only logical answer.

***

When a girl asks you “What are you thinking about right now?” know that this is code for “I’m really falling for you and want to know if you feel the same about me.” Don’t be an earnest beta and make the mistake of taking the bait! Avoid saying “I think I’m in love with you” or “I’m thinking about us” at all costs. Instead, say something like “I can’t think right now because you’ve paralyzed my thoughts.” Or, if you want to keep it simple, say “Um, nothing.”

Maxim #6: Never Make It Easy For A Girl

– Sometimes a girl will drop a stinky bait. Don’t bite! She wants to chase you around the lake forever.

***

Never tell a girl you are looking for a relationship. Many girls will ask, sometimes as early as the first date, what you are looking for from women. For the love of all that is holy and sacred do NOT say you are in the market for a relationship. Similarly, never say you wouldn’t mind “settling down”, or that you are discouraged by the dating scene, or you really wish you could stop dating around and find the right girl. It doesn’t matter if you truly feel this way; saying any of these out loud, especially to a girl you have just started dating, is poison to the seduction. Best to either ignore her probing question or answer vaguely along the lines of “I dunno, just dating until I find a girl I click with.” Also, saying “Whoa, not so fast tiger!” can be funny and stimulating to her vagina.

***

Slap your girl’s ass in public once in a while, hard. Territorial pissing is a turn-on in small spurts.

***

When you are with your girl and another alpha male is the center of attention (let’s say by being funny, or juggling balls) the best thing you can do is casually and briefly acknowledge his talents and otherwise ignore him. She will poke you for weakness whenever a bigger dog struts on the scene, so you’d be smart to be aware of this irrepressible female urge and not get defensive. NEVER imply that a bigger alpha is a threat to you, either in anger or in sarcastic putdown. You are who you are, which is the best she will ever have, so if some guy is a great karaoke singer and you’re offstage enjoying the show it’s no big deal — his skills cannot begin to compete with your total package, so you are free to compliment him without a hint of resentment.

Maxim #7: Your girl will thank you for your steadfast devotion to your belief in yourself.

***

When your girl buys you something or gets you a present, don’t immediately buy her something in return. No girl wants to feel like you got her a gift out of obligation. Tit for tat kills the sexy fun vibe. She appreciates your gifts when you are motivated by nothing else but your warm feelings for her. In this vein, it’s better to give her gifts at random times, rather than on birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays.

***

Speaking of gifts, the best players I know buy their girls NOTHING. And their girls love them with everything they have. Talk about trashing societal admonishments.

***

As a birthday gift for your girl, a grape seed oil massage beats a tennis bracelet EVERY TIME.

***

If you want to save money, doing things for a girl is always better than buying things for her. So, for example, learn photography and shoot sexy nude black and white photos of her. Or take her for a ride on a scooter through the countryside. She’ll appreciate that a lot more than a trendy item with a high price tag.

***

Fucking a girl right is worth more than a $20,000 engagement ring. I am not kidding.

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