Lying For Sex

Getting laid is so critical to a man’s well-being that if he needs to lie to get it I’m not morally scandalized. I liken it to the unemployed man who has to steal bread in order to feed his starving family. The sexless man would be negligent not to avail himself of the shadier moral choices to cure his condition.

If lies are necessary to avoid the walking death of celibacy then it is worth the soulpence it may cost in whatever personal code of integrity a man follows. A lie to bed a woman does her little harm. After all, what exactly has changed… what actual harm has been done to her… if the next morning she finds out he works at Taco Bell instead of Goldman Sachs? The sex will still have felt as good because a discovered lie cannot undo the past. Unless she has made important life decisions with him on the first night together the lie will not have any influence on her future. At best, she can say that had she known the truth she would have enjoyed one more night of sleeping alone.

The reason men lie for sex is because it is an option that is available to them. It’s a courtship tactic that exists because women look for non-obvious signals of attractiveness in men. Lying takes advantage of a woman’s base motives — her lust for powerful men, conspicuous displays of resources and confidence, and the feeling of being seduced — by feeding her what she wants to hear. Women lie as well when they wear makeup and act coquettish but that is not of the same order of magnitude as the lies men have at their disposal to beguile women into sex. Men pretty much know with a quick glance whether they want to bang a girl so girls don’t have much room to lie their way onto a man’s erection. Therefore, it is easier for girls to assume the moral high ground because their virtue is born of necessity. They’d lie like men if easy sex were on their agenda or it helped them as much to get what they want in a partner.

If a loser has trouble getting laid the normal way I see no reason why he should handicap himself by adopting a posture of perfect moral rectitude and telling the truth when it will obviously hurt his cause. The reward for such good behavior — many nights alone with his hand — hardly compensates for the sex he could have gotten through amoral means. Lying can be an attainable way for a beta to get a few early notches under his belt and purify himself of the stink of desperation.

Take the following two scenarios illustrating why lying for sex is not always the black-or-white moral decision many women want men to believe.

1. She asks if he’s a virgin. (Odd question to ask, but let’s assume something about him gave her cause for concern.) He’s a 30 year old man and is, in fact, a virgin. If he answers “yes” he has seriously impacted his chance to get laid. If he lies, he keeps his goal in sight and she loses nothing.
2. He has terminal cancer and will die in one year. He has been dating a girl for two months and it is going well. Both of them feel the first stirrings of love. She doesn’t know of his disease. He wants to spend his remaining time on earth in the arms of a woman who loves him. If he tells her the truth she may leave him or withdraw her love so as to avoid wasting a year of her life on a man who won’t be around to support her and the family she eventually wants. If he lies he has, in effect, stolen a year of her prime dating marketability, though he has given her a year of love she was not guaranteed to get without him.

While I have no abstract moral hang-up about lying I don’t recommend it as a seduction tool for three reasons.

• It’s weak game

Lying is the cut & paste, band-aid version of game. It’s quick and dirty and often effective, but won’t last. It has no roots, no foundation. It’s better to spend the effort to learn good solid game that will be there for you in any situation than to use the crutch of weak game where you have to waste energy keeping track of all your lies. You will feel a greater sense of accomplishment winning over a woman without resorting to outright lies and this will redound to your self-confidence.

• It complicates the pursuit of long term relationships

Lies work well for one night stands and even short term flings if the guy doesn’t contradict himself. But long term relationships — the ones where you go shopping for a condo together or she visits you at the office to drop off your lunch — will crumble under an edifice of lies. If you work at Taco Bell she’ll find out eventually. False advertising moves product only up until the first recall. So if you are looking for lasting love it pays to resist the temptation to lie away perceived flaws.

• Lying is self-reinforcing

The big problem with lying is that once you start, you can’t stop. One lie requires two more to sustain, and two lies requires four. You will soon find yourself mired in a fantasy world of talented Mr. Ripley proportions (which isn’t so bad if you have his skills of deception) that will kill any chance at a healthy relationship unless the girl is a complete masochist for your lying bad ass. (Those girls do exist.) Plus, lying encourages reliance on other bad habits to seduce a woman. If you lie to attract a woman then other parts of your game are likely to be equally sloppy.

Moral of this post: Don’t lie. Evade.

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Settling

settle verb – to wake up one day and realize you are not god’s gift to the opposite sex

It’s funny how this became a dirty word when everyone except the thinnest slice at the top of the human status heap does it.  It’s like calling breathing a dirty word and refusing to acknowledge that you do it.  Even Jack Nicholson, a player for whom I have much respect and admiration, has to settle — there are probably a few beautiful Hollywood actresses who spurned his advances.  I have to settle as well; I always wanted Heidi Klum but she has made herself unavailable to me (so far).  Instead of spending years in celibate agony pining for Heidi I enjoyed sex and love with girls who looked like her but had different names.

i will shit test you until the day you die.

Almost universally men are more apt to settle in the short term than women.  I understand the evolutionary explanation for this.  Women stand to lose a lot more if they get pregnant by an unqualified guy.  Men can dumpster dive occasionally without incurring much cost to themselves, and in fact enjoy a significant genetic upside to doing so.

But the aversion to settling is worn by the modern cosmopolitan (read: American) woman like a badge of honor.  She proudly proclaims her steadfast determination to stick by her principles and hold out for the perfect alpha male while simultaneously bitching about her lonely spinsterhood.  This is the kind of woman who overanalyzes every little nuance of a date and then has a debriefing with her girlfriends afterwards, when she tears the guy apart and her circle jerk of enablers cackle in unison.

I have seen extreme cases where the woman went completely celibate for years out of a stubborn refusal to reevaluate her ridiculously high standards.  Virginity in a 19 year old girl is desirable, but de facto virginity in a 28 year old woman is a huge red flag.  Any woman who can go years without a good root is capable of turning down sex from her boyfriend for the flimsiest reasons.

i’m not in the mood… you’re wearing that argyle sweater again.

A woman who makes it to adulthood with a pristine pussy and her standards uncompromised should have her vagina donated to a medical museum as an example of what one looks like untouched by any penis.  Underneath would be the Latin term for the condition:

Vaginicus Unrealisticus Standardii

I have a theory why settling has become a fate worse than rape in the minds of American women.  In hunter gatherer times, when clan size was only 50 people, you’d be lucky to find just one hot girl in her prime.  The beauty scarcity meant that there was no jealousy when the hot chick hooked up with the tribal leader.  It was unremarkable.  The remaining plain janes competed over the undifferentiated swath of clanmen who ranked lower than the tribal leader.  This social dynamic helped keep women’s expectations in line with reality.  There was little pressure to snag the top dog.

Fast forward to modern society where most young women in their prime are living in giant urban enclaves of millions and hot chicks are a dime a dozen.  What do they see?  Lots of cute girls hooking up with alpha males.  Every day, everywhere.  So the average woman, who in times past would’ve been happy with the average man, now gets bombarded with visual evidence of thousands of women dating the same small pool of guys she wants, causing her expectations to balloon out of control.  She wants to keep up with the Heathers.  She asks herself why she can’t have the same thing.  She finds the thought of settling for a lesser man revolting because of the social humiliation it would entail.  If her friends are all dating doctors (sometimes the same doctor), why can’t she?  Plus, she says, look at my fancy degree and professional career!  I want that in a man so what man wouldn’t want that in me?

And so she rides the dating carousel refusing to believe that it is the disconnect between the price she puts on herself and the price her potential buyers are willing to pay that is responsible for her impressive vibrator collection.  She has lost all perspective.

This is why pumping and dumping performs a valuable public service.  With each pump and dump her oversized ego and expectations shrink, until one day the hollow shell of her washed up self falls resentfully into the arms of a waiting beta.  Or she learns to speak cat.

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This Blog In Song

You should have listened to what mama said
And walked away with someone else instead
You should have listened to what grandma said
And married someone more like Fred

You should have listened to your inner voice
While you had time and still a choice
You should have reached for the emergency brake
Before it was too late

[Chorus]
You see the clever girl looks for a clever boy
To another extent than the clever boy
Will ever look for a mate
Who goes to round-table debates
And runs a little bit late
When she does work for the state

You see the clever girls look for the clever boys
And then the clever boys seem to have a different choice
They want a good-looking chick
That likes to blow them away
Someone who laughs at all the
Funny little things they say

I have a friend who’s in this MENSA club
He has no trouble to admit
He wants a woman with ambitions
That go as far as raising kids

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Fat American Women = Dating Disparity

There is no doubt the obesity epidemic in the U.S. tilts the dating playing field in favor of those women who manage to keep their figures.  The growing bloat of half the female population guarantees that slender women are more in demand than ever, and I believe this is a major contributing factor to the runaway egos and entitlement complexes of American women in general.

To see how this might be so, three premises need to be examined.

1.  Does obesity handicap the dating prospects of afflicted women more than it does afflicted men?

Since American men are getting fatter at about the same rate as American women it’s reasonable to ask if this neck and neck race to the fattest helps keep the dating market balanced and the prospects for finding love equal between the sexes.  The answer is no.  Men are much more visually driven than women when judging the opposite sex for mate worthiness and rolls of fertility-concealing blubber that disfigure a woman’s natural hourglass shape and sexually arousing appearance will harm her attractiveness to men a lot worse than being overweight will harm a man’s attractiveness to women.

This is a simple fact of life.  A rich or smart or funny guy who is 30 pounds overweight will have an easier time in the dating market than a kind and sweet and personable woman overweight by the same amount.  Guys have many more compensatory qualities they can bring to the table to neutralize the disadvantage of being fat, whereas fat women, no matter how well cultivated their other attributes, cannot win over the men they want without lowering their standards to the basement or accepting a life of constant pump and dumps from players on the prowl for easy noncommital sex.

Furthermore, it is a myth that fat guys, through the power of their expanding guts, magically discover the appeal of fat chicks.  The fat guys you see hooking up with fat chicks do so BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE.  The truth is that fat guys lust after hot slender babes just as much as thin guys do.

2.  Does the obesity epidemic directly improve the dating prospects of women who stay in shape?

Given that fat girls have poor dating prospects even among fat guys, and that almost all guys are attracted to thin girls (the tiny population of fatty fucking fetishists to the contrary notwithstanding), the remaining thin girls will see their sexual market value skyrocket.  This smaller pool of attractive women means that each hot chick can date up higher than she would have otherwise.

A thin girl whose looks are magnified in contrast to the fat chicks around her and who is pursued by all the men will command a much higher price — and a bigger sense of self-worth — than a thin girl in a roomful of other thin girls who is pursued by a fraction of the available men who must divide their attention between multiple targets.

In the former scenario, it will not take the thin girl long to perceive her inflated market value and act accordingly.  A monstrous bitch shield ensues.

This is why the hot girl with a fat friend will subconsciously ENABLE HER FAT FRIEND’S WEIGHT PROBLEM, and why the fat girl will try to drag her hot friend into the bottom of the Ben and Jerry’s pint with her.  It is against the genetic interests of both of them to encourage female competition.  They are in it to win it, just like the rest of us.

3.  Do the numbers justify a connection between obesity and typical American woman attitudes?

Let’s check the numbers.  First, I’ll show through the illuminating power of my handy charts the ideal attractive weight for women.  (I’ve used the 1959 Met Life insurance tables for this analysis as they more accurately reflect optimum weights than recent tables which have had to adjust upwards to account for American “grade inflation”.)

Categories 

Ideal Weight: BMI 17.6 – 21.  99% of men find women in this range to be hot.

Maximum Healthy Weight: BMI 25.  The upper limit of what the medical establishment classifies as healthy weight.  (Note that “healthy” and “aesthetically pleasing to men” are not necessarily the same.)  30% of men will find women over the ideal weight but within the healthy weight sexually attractive.  The other 70% will think they are chubby, but still bangable if the effort required to close the deal is not too great.

Overweight: BMI 25.1 – 30.  The weight at which a woman becomes officially fat.  Less than 10% of men will find women in this range sexually attractive.  Men who can get slender girls will not even look twice at women in this group.

Obesity… and Beyond!: BMI 30+.  Over 98% of men will be actively repulsed by these women.

Height       Ideal Weight    Max Healthy    Overweight      Fatass!

5’0″           90-107             128                129-154             155+
5’1″           93-111             132                 133-159             160+
5’2″           96-115             137                 138-164             165+
5’3″           100-119           141                142-169             170+
5’4″           103-123           146                147-175             176+
5’5″           106-127           151                152-180             181+
5’6″           109-131           155                156-186             187+
5’7″           112-135           160                161-192             193+
5’8″           115-139           164                165-197             198+
5’9″           119-143           169                170-203             204+
5’10”         123-147           174                175-209             210+
5’11”         126-151           179                180-215             216+
6’0″           130-155           184                185-221             222+
6’1″           133-159           190                191-227             228+
6’2″           137-163           195                196-234             235+

Now let’s look at the demographics.  According to the 2000 U.S. Census, there are approximately 40 million American women between the ages of 20 and 39 (a range which roughly matches a woman’s fertile years and maximum dating marketability).  Using my handy chart above, we establish a threshold of BMI 25 as the point at which a woman takes a non-trivial hit to her sexual worth.  As her BMI steadily increases, more and more men will regard her with cold asexual indifference culminating in outright revulsion.  An American Medical Association study classified 52% of all women between the ages of 20 and 39 as overweight or obese with a BMI of 25 or higher.  (The CDC also has similar studies on obesity.)

That’s HALF of all women in the prime dating years who have damaged or even completely trashed their sexual appeal to men through sloth and gluttony.  They have made their search for love unnecessarily harder by their choices.

There are 20 million American women at a healthy weight competing for the attentions of 40 million men in the same age bracket.  Even this lopsided number doesn’t tell the whole story.  Of those 20 million women, a smaller number are at the ideal sexual attractiveness weight of BMI 17.6 to 21, given that the upper bound of healthy weight is BMI 25.  The ideal attractive BMI is about half the total healthy BMI, so the number of slender babes that are maximally attractive to the vast majority of men is really in the neighborhood of 10 million.  Remember that this analysis does not factor in facial ugliness which would surely whittle away at the number of attractive women further.

Finally, we must stipulate that the tendency of women as they age to date increasingly older men than themselves means that the figure of 40 million men is actually too low.  Extending the dating market of men to age 50 adds another 20 million to their total number.  Controlling for marriage makes no difference because the ratio of single men to single women remains the same.

This brings us to the final tally of potentially 60 million men hotly pursuing 10 million women.  That’s a 6 to 1 dating ratio.  Talk about a stacked deck.

If you want to know why American women have such unrealistic expectations, ridiculously out-of-sync standards, neurotically overblown egos, schizophrenic flakiness, and chronic selfishness —
it’s all in the numbers.
the fat, porky, tubby numbers. 

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I Have Stolen Many Prime Years of Girls’ Lives

That’s what my mother told me over the phone yesterday in so many words.

Mom:  Why aren’t you settled down yet?
Me:  Just lucky, I guess?
Mom:  Don’t be a wiseguy.  You’re dating these young girls during their prime years and not marrying them.  Poor things.
Me:  I can’t believe my own mother isn’t on my side.
Mom:  You’re stealing the best years of their lives!  Don’t you feel guilty?
Me:  I dunno.  Did you feel guilty when you didn’t put out for a guy you were dating?
Mom:  Grow up!

Afterwards, I did ponder the wreckage of lives I have left behind in my copulatory wake.  Technically, I should feel some guilt.  If we define the prime marrying years of a woman to be between 21 and 26 — too young and she’ll be emotionally ill-equipped to perform her wifely duties of indulging my every need; too old and I’ll be emotionally ill-equipped to accept her indulgence — then I have squeezed the juice out of the ripest years of quite a few girls.  For free.  The next beta in line will be stuck marrying the rind.

I take a philosophical view of my biological thievery.  While I have reneged on my end of the deal, many women renege on theirs when they string a man along in LJBF perpetuity.  What guy with bloated testes hasn’t heard this from a girl he really liked:  “you’re my friend. i just don’t see you in that way.”

Therefore, my actions are helping to bring balance to the force.  On the cosmic scales of justice the cads and the cockteases are locked in battle supreme for everlasting victory.  I unsheath my sword with strength of purpose.

On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being tongue lightly grazing the cheek and 5 being tongue firmly pressed to side of mouth, this post was 2 tongue in cheeks.

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Prettiness = Sense of Entitlement

There are many factors that contribute to a woman believing the world should fall in her lap (for example, being an American), but none are as important as how she perceives her looks compared to other women.  I’ve found that the prettier a girl is, the more she feels entitled to special treatment and unearned rewards.

I remember this conversation I had with a woman I had been sexing for a couple months.  She was a solid 8 and turned many heads, and more pertinently, she knew it.  I glibly brought up the subject of men paying for women on dates; she took my half-serious bait and offered her deep thoughts on the matter.

Her:  I would never date a guy who didn’t pay for me on the first few dates.
Me:  Is that a hard and fast rule?
Her:  I’m not saying he has to spend a lot on dinners or whatever, but he does need to pay for me.
Me:  Why?
Her:  Because that’s what guys do for girls they are interested in.
Me:  And what do girls do for guys they are interested in?
Her:  Give them sex!
Me:  But guys give girls they like sex, too.  Shouldn’t that be enough compensation?  It’s even steven!
Her:  That’s different.  We can get that from anywhere.
Me:  So guys have to bring twice as much to the table as girls — their sex and their money.  Sounds like a fair trade-off.
Her:  Every guy I’ve ever dated paid for me.  Why should I expect less now?

She had a point.  Why stop the gravy train?  After all, I paid for her, although I take some pride in the knowledge that I most likely invested much less monetarily in her than her previous suitors to get the same piece of ass.  It’s like finding an awesome pair of shoes at DSW for 70% discount when everyone else is paying full price — you feel like you got one over on the plebe consumers.

Clearly, pretty girls feel entitled to a man’s money in exchange for the pleasure of her company, where in this case “company” is defined to mean her ability to sit still on a bar stool or a dining chair for the date minimum of 15 minutes and hear the guy’s pitch.

Why do they have this sense of entitlement?
Because they can afford to.  Behaviors change only when there is incentive to change or disincentive to maintaining the status quo.  As far as I can tell, most guys have not abandoned the man pays paradigm, so the beat goes on and will continue to go on unless human nature changes.

Which brings us to today’s handy chart.  Here I will illustrate how a woman’s sense of entitlement varies with respect to her attractiveness.

Woman’s Hotness                    Her Sense of Entitlement
0                                    Must pay for sex with any non-homeless man;
                                      feels entitled to walk away alive from any sexual
                                      encounter.
1                                    Expects man not to call her a “dirty filthy whore”;
                                     “cuntface” is OK, though.  Doesn’t consider knifings
                                     part of foreplay.
2                                   Expects man not to shout out another woman’s
                                     name during sex or to forget her name less than
                                     10 seconds after she told him it.
3                                   Expects man to open eyes at least once during sex;
                                     also expects no less than 1.5 seconds of post-coital
                                     cuddling not necessarily face-to-face.
4                                   Thinks man should at least pay for his own drinks;
                                     she will make a polite but disingenuous move to pull
                                     money out of her purse first when the bill comes.
                                     He’ll call her bluff.
5                                  Thinks man should split the check with her, but she
                                    winds up footing the bill while he covers the tip;
                                    feels entitled to one date before getting harangued
                                    for sex.
6                                  Expects to be wined and dined at a 2 star establishment;
                                    Wants a man to hold out for two dates before prodding
                                    her vulva with inanimate objects.
7                                Expects to be treated to drinks, dinner, and a non-matinee
                                    movie;  wants the man to spend twice as much on her as
                                    she spends on him; will judge him based on which sushi
                                    restaurant he takes her to; expects him to deal with at
                                    least one of her flake fits; will not put out until he has
                                    paid for a minimum of 3 dates.
8                               Feels entitled to spend absolutely nothing on dates;
                                   becomes highly offended if man even suggests splitting
                                   bill; will regularly show up late to dates as if it is her
                                   prerogative; 4 star establishments only – accepts no
                                   substitutes; will not be picked up in a toyota camry or
                                  honda accord; expects man to perform at least
                                   three chivalrous acts; won’t put out until date six; will
                                  flake twice and expect the man to take it.
9                               Feels entitled to forget man’s name; won’t even say
                                  ‘thank you’ when man pays the bill; looks in the
                                 mirror more than she looks at her date; expects his
                                 watch to cost as much as her emu-skin purse; talks
                                 about herself incessantly except when she asks the
                                 guy about his credit limit/job title/stock portfolio;
                                 won’t accept less than $200 being spent on her on
                                 any date pre-sex; will walk out on date if man’s
                                 shoes don’t comply with fashion industry standards
                                 of the week.
10                             Will not settle for less than a first date aboard his
                                 private yacht – 50 foot+ class only; expects payment in
                                  the form of pink diamonds before putting out; feels
                                 entitled to do absolutely nothing in bed.
10+American            The federal government was invented to placate her.

Of course, what a woman expects from a man she’s dating and what actually turns her on to want to fuck the guy are two different things.  If you are an alpha male and have lived a day in your life, you know the best way to please a woman who is hard to please is… to not try hard to please her.

‘Opposite George’ comes to mind here.

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Leftie Girls Are Easy

This article about looking for love at an Obama political rally made me laugh.

 “You are likely to have similar political views, and those often cross into other things that aren’t politically affiliated,” says Colleen Kluttz, a 29-year-old TV producer who’s hitting the event tonight if work allows.

I suppose it makes intuitive sense to a politics-drenched activist like Colleen that your views on the estate tax or troop withdrawal would define who you are as a person in all areas of life, but in my experience a girl’s political opinions have zero correlation to how well we’ll get along as a lovemaking couple.  About the only time it matters is when… we’re discussing politics.

The one exception is her view on abortion, which is more religious in nature than political.  I would never bareback it with a pro-life chick.

“It [politics] will give you something to talk about. It gives you a reason to have conversations that aren’t just about yourself.”

Let me tell you, if you are discussing politics with your date, no matter how sympatico you both are, you won’t be getting laid.  The tedious, dreary world of politics engages her logical mind when you want to do exactly the opposite.  If she’s the type that can’t take a breather from braying about this or that political pet cause then she has control issues you want to avoid.

And no two people are 100% in agreement on every issue.  You spend an hour talking politics and there is bound to come up a disagreement over some by-line in the appropriations bill that kills the sexytime mood.

But what kind of guy are you going to find at an Obama rally?

“A socially conscious liberal – probably a well-dressed, well-groomed hipster,” Kluttz says.

If you want to bang this girl, your dedication to world peace won’t be enough.  You had better dress well, too.

Lindsay Schaeffer, 25, may even skip the rally for the nighttime bash.

“Look, you never meet good guys in a bar,” she reasons. “Something like this naturally weeds out the losers for you. You aren’t going to get some pickup artist at a political after-party.”

Keep telling yourself that, Lindsay.  Heh heh heh.

Every guy in the world is looking for the pickup.  Some are just more artistic in the execution than others.

One ardent Obama supporter (who declined to give his name because he works in politics) says he’ll attend both the rally and the after-party, and he doesn’t expect to be going home alone.

He’s confident for a reason.

“Let’s face it: Leftie girls are easy,” he says.

This is the conventional wisdom about leftwing girls.  When I was in college I joined both the College Democrats and the College Republicans to meet girls.  I altered or concealed my views as needed when it was personally advantageous and helped toward my goal of hooking up.  My friends and I agreed at the time with the commonly-held assumption that the Dem girls were good to go, while the Repub girls were prettier and more “well-kept”.

I learned that the conventional wisdom is onto something, but for the wrong reasons.  A lot of the leftie girls came from broken families.  Dads who vamoose make girls who are loose.  The rightie girls held out longer but when the floodgates finally opened their sexual appetites poured forth just as voraciously as their sluttier leftie sisters, if not moreso.

As for who was prettier, if I subtracted the butch lesbians from the Dem ranks and the fashion queens from the Repub ranks, I didn’t notice much daylight between the two groups of girls.  Of course, this was college, a time of life when most girls look bangable as long as they stay slim.  I think as women age the Republicans tend to stay hotter longer because of their no-nonsense fastidiousness about catering to men’s desires.

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