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Archive for the ‘The Id Monster’ Category

The Scarlet C cuckservative label — Shiv of the Week winner — has really hit a bulls-eye, but what’s more interesting about the extended play body slam of weak whytes is what it illustrates about how semantic weapons work. There is Game in them thar hills, and CH prospectors find the shiniest nuggets.

Their protestations of indifference to the contrary notwithstanding, you know the cuckservative shiv has hit these mincing establishment pansies exemplified by the likes of Matt Lewis square in the deflated scrote. How do you know? I’ll tell you, boy. Look for two reactions.

1. The stuck pig squeals loudest.

Have you ever seen RINOs and their water carriers so incensed? The leftoid opposition toys with them daily and takes dumps in their gaped-mouthed faces, but nothing has riled them up like being called out for EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE: puling suck-ups who’d sell their mother for one more pat on the head by a callow Ezra Klein.

2. Silent backpedaling.

Watch for cuckservatives to back off their inane, autonomic patter of prostration. If they do, that means the shiv cut deep and their lacerated subconscious bleeds into their conscious comfort zone. It’s a classic human urge when publicly shamed: denounce your shamers, insist on your dignity, but quietly pull back from the behavior that got you pegged (heh) as a poltroon.

In the coming election cycle, listen for ostensibly “””right wing””” candidates to gradually abandon their insipid leftoid-lite boilerplate. That “Shit Cuckservatives Say” page at the top of CH will serve as a reminder to them that the front lines are everywhere now. The pressure and incessant ridicule will keep them honest.

The Shitlib Zone

Somewhere in a hostile press room
There’s a cuck starting to realize
That sucking up has not worked out for him
It’s two A.M.

It’s two A.M. my honor’s gone
I’m sitting here waitin’ the stool still warm
Did you know that Lincoln was a Republican?

Yeah, my daughter’s burning coal, dindu in my bed
Bareback my nation, all community dead
Cannot realtalk, my whole life trained to be a toady

Help, I’m steppin’ into the shitlib zone
This is a bathhouse, feels like Lindsey’s home
My scrotum’s climbed up, under flabby gut
Where am I to go now that I’ve gone post-op?

Soon you will come to know
When the shiv has hit the bone
Soon you will come to know
When the shiv has hit the bone

I’m sticking to the Narrative, demographically doomed
Double crossed middle class gettin’ the screws
Can’t get no election, can’t get through
To Pablo’s crew

Well the cocktail parties ease his coward’s mind
He swears no child left behind!
When the third world comes
He knows damn well he’ll be retreating

And he says, “Help, I’m swishin’ into the shitlib zone
Place is a cookhouse, feels like Mexico
My nation’s been sold to Mark Fuckersperg
Where am I to go when the white vote’s submerged?”

Soon you will come to know
When the shiv has hit the bone
Soon you will come to know
When the shiv has hit the bone

When the shiv has hit the bone

{shredding break}

Help, I’m prancin’ into the shitlib zone
Place is a bathhouse, feels like anal fun
My dignity is gone, an eager tribute
Who’s gonna do the jobs that Americans won’t do?

Help, I’m cuckin’ into the shitlib zone
Place is a bathhouse, can’t stop being prone
My manhood’s been moved, under Jenner’s dress
How far am I to bend when they call me racist?

Soon you will come to know
When the shiv has hit the bone
Soon you will come to know
When CH has raped your soul

When the shiv has hit the bone, oo-ooga!
When the shiv has hit the bone
When the shiv has hit the bone, sha-lom!
When the shiv has hit the bone

wow wow wow wow just wow
wow wow just wowoooooowow

***

Are there any aspiring rock stars in the audience? Who wants to put this delectable revision to tape? You, sir? Glory awaits!

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Matt Lewis, cuckservative,

I can’t police the left, but my hope in writing this‬ is to sound the alarm on the right. And message is simple: Be‬ optimistic about America. Embrace our pluralistic society. And don’t let these vile goddamn racists pollute our message. They are not our friends, they are not on our team, and conservative leaders must roundly condemn them.

Shiv, meet exposed id.

Remember that old Heartiste aphorism? The cornered pig squeals loudest. Applies equally to weepy, stool-perched cuckservatives as it does to lunatic, ugly feminists.

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Tell the studio audience the things that come to mind when you look at this photo.

Examine your feelings. Is a story starting to form in your head?

Ok.

Take some time to digest your thoughts.

.

.

.

.

.

Now look at this photo.

Ok, have you looked closely?

Great.

Has the story in your head changed in any way? If it has, how so? Take us through your thoughts in the comments section.

I’d imagine for many of you, an official news report is hardly needed. You know, instinctively, the terrible reality behind these photos, even if you don’t know the dreary police blotter details. You know, too, that the horror is multifaceted, and goes deeper than the official allegations.

And you’d be right.

Reader Johnny Redux explains,

I believe myself to be a pretty tough guy, but this story, which points out a lot of what you fellows talk about, almost brought me to tears. I (unfortunately) came across this story in a foreign (UK) paper, even though it occurred in Florida. I looked at local media coverage, but few had more than just a couple photos, obviously bowing to PC.

If it was reported here already, I do NOT apologize for bringing it before you again, as this story must be read, and the message spread. Here is the tale of a white woman (25) who had at least two children with a white man. Both children are beautiful white blond/blue specimens. So, for whatever reason, the white woman splits from her white husband (probably because, as a Beta male, he finally succumbed to the fact that you cannot train a whore not to be a whore, despite the Pretty Woman, White Knight fantasies), and gets involved with a black man who does not work, has raped his former gf (probably more), has a long list of violent criminal offenses (those are just the once that he got caught for, that is), and was left the WATCH the two children – the boy just a toddler, and the girl a mere 5-year-old, while she worked at a strip club! Now, did you get that? This stripper left her two small blond/blue children with an unemployed black man who was a violent, drug-addicted rapist.

And so, the boy has now disappeared, and the police say the negro male is lying about someone stealing him out of the car while he went back inside to DO COCAINE before picking up the white trash female.

Where to start (as I want to SCREAM)?
* Did he just kill the blue-eyed devil, or sell him to some pedophile for some easy drug money?
* Get rid of the boy, as no need for him, but keep the girl for sex and future income (prostitute) potential (like her mom)?
* How many times has the blond girl been sexually abused by this negro while left alone with him for hours at a time? Hope the doctors examine her.
* Where is the real father? I would rather kill the mother and go to jail, so that the children go to the grandparents or foster care – where at least they would have had a chance at a decent life.
* Where are the motherly instincts of the woman? Besides all of the obvious arguments regarding her stupid decision to get involved with any black man, let alone a POS like this one, where is her natural protective instincts for her young?

As to the last point, above, I liken this behavior to animals in a zoo, that give birth in unnatural environments and have no parenting skills, sometimes outright killing their young. That sums up this female, and this putrid society that we now live in.

Crisis and observation.

Crisis:
A dumbfuck, or impossibly self-deluded, attractive white mother and wife, dumps her betaboy white husband, for reasons we can all pretty much suss out in the second photo: He was a supplicating niceguy who bored his wife into anhedonic divergence, and she was a high maintenance drama queen with poor impulse control and a mind polluted by a steady diet of anti-white, pozzed cultural sewage. In her EatPrayCockCarousel stage, she shacks up with a buck nigra with a mile-long rap sheet and, one day, to no one’s surprise except her own, the seething envy and race hatred constantly percolating in her mandingo reaches a culmination in the disappearance, and likely death, of her precious 2-year-old son at his hands.

Observation:
Now we watch you. If you’re a black person, let’s be honest, you don’t feel much. It’s understandable, if repugnant to more empathetic souls; you are what you are and violence against white children doesn’t rouse your emotions beyond obligatory SMH disappointment. Tribal blood is thicker than interracial empathy.

If you’re a white shitlib, you screech about demagoguery and execute evasive maneuvers that move the topic to white privilege or police misconduct. You feel something resembling anger and indignation, and even nascent, healthy hatred for the black perp and white cunt, but your predilection for abstraction and moral status whoring and your deadly fear of concrete reality and its emotional resonance transforms you into a sophism robot tasked with the prime directive of ego protection. You are the anti-human leftoid borg at war with your own primal feelings.

If you’re a white cuckservative, you twitch, and wait for your betters to signal the approved response. What do you do? Character is destiny. You say this is a tragedy… (note that word “tragedy”, stripping any and all agency from the evil)… and your heart is with the family of the lost boy, and then you hope and pray… oh do you pray hard to your Glory Hole God!… that nobody brings up the malevolent race aspect of the sordid crime.

If you’re a carver of ids, you suggest, first, and with utmost politeness, that the dindu meet the firing squad and the mother be stripped naked in the public square and paraded in shame as a lesson for the others. Then, you draw back, and present the bigger picture… a most ugly scene of a world where Diversity™ has won the day and the shrinking space for whites has them scrambling in confusion like Calhoun’s rats, and strange, incredible things begin to manifest, like mothers abandoning their children to loping demons and normal, if unexciting, husbands jettisoned by bored housewives with a psychoskank itch for a hellscape of vibrant pain, torment, and tingles. And a mudshark monocle.

Crisis and observation.

What next?

Greg supplies a fitting coda,

Your pain is shared, my friend… foremost by the Most High God.

All accounts will be settled… until then, prepare, have faith, and harden your heart.

Hope and change. Some are not so sanguine. Rot and ruin can have impressive staying power. The collapse may be fated.

When truth recedes
remember this
it won’t be found
until #HateWins.

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This is fun. Reader PA creates a useful reference list of shit that cuckservatives say.

“Sadly, most victims of black crime are other blacks.”
“Unions destroyed Detroit”
“I’m all for legal immigration, just not illegal immigration”
“America is safe and free thanks to our troops.”
“Only terrorists would have a reason to oppose the Patriot Act.”
“America is a nation of immigrants.”
“I don’t agree with everything [Buchanan/Coulter/CH/etc] says, but…”
“I’m not a racist but…”
“I don’t care if you’re black, white, green, or purple, but…”
“Edward Snowden is a traitor”
“I stand with Israel”
“Family values don’t stop at the Rio Grande”
“Putin is the new Hitler”
“There is no room for hate and bigotry in the Republican party”
“We must court the Latino vote to stay relevant”

A few more:

“the GOP needs a big tent philosophy”
“LIEBRULS are the real racists”
“we’ve forgotten the lessons taught to us by Dr Martin Luther King, Jr”

***

Courtesy of the Hatepoasters of Whyte Preenage:

Support tax cuts for corporations that adopted rainbow Twitter avatars after Obergefell
Support tax cuts for rich liberals like Warren Buffett and George Soros
Whine about how Edward Snowden is a traitor
Whine about how badly Hillary Clinton messed up with Benghazi
Ensure that whites become a minority in the U.S. through legal, not illegal, immigration
Ensure that defending Israel remains our #1 foreign-policy priority
Claim that although border fences work for Israel, they would never work for the U.S.
Claim it’s un-Christian to stop non-Christians from immigrating to the U.S.
Give Obama oversight-free power by approving the Trans-Pacific Partnership
Make insincere, ineffectual efforts to repeal Obamacare
Make insincere, ineffectual efforts to restrict abortion
Venerate Martin Luther King Jr. as a national saint and claim him as a conservative icon
Claim that “Democrats are the real racists!”
Get infinitely more offended by the far right than the far left
Think that vague abstract principles matter more than flesh and blood

***

“I’m a fiscal conservative and social liberal.”
“Some of my best friends are black.” Cuckservative circa Mad Men era.
“Discrimination on the basis of race, religion, national origin, sex, and sexual orientation is abhorrent.”
“Our diversity is a strength, and as horrific as this tragedy was, if our diversity becomes a tragedy, I think thats worse”. -General Casey

***

National Review cucks earn a special place in the cuckservative canon:

NR’s Michael Potemra on election night 2008:

“I ask a rhetorical question: Can we McCain voters, without embarrassment, shed a tear of patriotic joy about the historic significance of what just happened? And I offer a short, rhetorical answer.

‘Yes, we can.’”

***

“I would be proud to have a (half) black grandkid”
“Nuclear talks with Iran is like marching Israel to the ovens.”
“I think it’s great the Arizona Cardinals hired the first female NFL coach”
“We all bleed red!”
“George Wallace was a Democrat!”
“My friend, Senator Ted Kennedy.”
“America is a nation of immigrants.”
“They said the same thing about the Irish and Italians back in the day!”
“Abortion is racist because 50% of black babies are aborted.”
“Multiculturalism is awesome because I like mexican and chinese food.”
“Without immigrants, we couldn’t have housemaids, landscapers, or ethnic food!”

***

The Boy Scouts have gone the full cuck:

“For far too long, this issue (ed: faggots in the Boy Scouts) has divided and distracted us,” said the Boy Scouts’ president, former Defense Secretary Robert Gates. “Now, it’s time to unite behind our shared belief in the extraordinary power of Scouting to be a force for good.”

***

“I’m sorry.”

***

“I believe in a colorblind society.”
“I don’t have ‘white interests.’ I have the Constitution.”
“What’s good for business is good for America”
“the liberal/Democrat plantation”

***

“I just called my opponent to concede…”

***

“America is a proposition nation.”
“[insert rebel rouser’s name] should apologize.”
“Not enough minorities own their own homes” -President George W Bush

Readers are encouraged to add to the “Shit Cuckservatives Say” list. CH will update the SCS list as contributions roll in, with the goal of making it a one stop reference shop — with a dedicated page at the masthead of Chateau Heartiste — for other blogs to link at their leisure.

The mockery of venal, pusillanimous cuckservatives will continue until testosterone levels improve.

***

You might be a cuckservative if…

***

The official flag of cuckservatism:

***

Matt Lewis, prolapsed bottom of cuckservatism:

h/t @ThornLockerson, the battle cry of cuckservatives:

My father’s grave
my daughter’s womb
Please take them both
and seal my tomb.
#Cuckservative

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The Dissidenti™™ and their frazzled hall monitors buzzsaw with talk about “cuckservatives.” It’s the shiv du jour, you see. As shivs go, it is in this ‘umble narrator’s opinion one of the more lethal of the semantic shanks employed by dark realists.

Lovers and haters of the Cuck Shiv gird for battle (well, the haters girdle for battle). The wielders love the twist of their shiny new toy. The haters brace defensively, shielding vitals. As well they should. CH commenters wonder, not without historical wonderment precedent for questions of Realtalk™ provenance aligned with Chateau themes, was it Heartiste who coined the “cuckservative” scarlet C? Answer: I don’t know. The first mention of it here is dated 24 Jun 2015. I suspect Poasting Whytes were first in the field with their version. Perhaps the term was independently formulated by multiple parties, inspired to simultaneous Phoenixian birth by the polluted cascade of daily poz.

I can tell you this for certain: The term “cuckold”, and its related emotional resonance, was thrust rudely into the public consciousness and popularized right here, at Chateau Heartiste, long before the current fascination with the pregnant (heh) weight of the slur. Kneejerk anti-truthers and perplexed alt-rightists scoffed at first contact with Le Chateau’s musings on the metadeath genetic threat cuckoldry poses to men, but in time even they began to see the value of the concept as a right and proper fitting metaphor for supplicants and sycophants and self-sodomizers of various stripes, which of course means they understood on a sub-discourse level the biomechanic sexual market truth implied by the insult.

To the gristle: What is a cuckservative?

Occam’s Razor ably decodes.

Very basically, the cuckservative is a white gentile conservative (or libertarian) who thinks he’s promoting his own interests but really isn’t.  In fact, the cuckservative is an extreme universalist and seems often to suffer from ethnomasochism & pathological altruism. In short, a cuckservative is a white (non-Jewish) conservative who isn’t racially aware.

That’s a serviceable academic description. I prefer something a leetle more… pungent.

CH definition: A cuckservative is a cowardly pussy who sucks up to leftoid equalists for mercy and pisses himself when he gets accused of racism, sexism, or anti-semitism.

Corollary to the above CH definition: The cuckservative will throw his brother and his nation under the bus if it means he keeps his token status as cog in the Hivemind machine. Those cocktail parties aren’t going to attend themselves!

So what’s the difference between a cuckservative and a garden variety shitlib? Delayed reaction. The cuckservative may or may not be a true believer in reality-denying feminism or anti-white antiracism, but he sure as hell knows to stick his crabbed finger in the air to see which cheek he should spread for his equalist overlord’s strap-on.

Some common traits of the species homo homo cuckservative:

– is quick to jump down the throat of any Realtalker.
– distances himself immediately from any ostensible ally who lets slip a jarring sin against the Narrative.
– will never once, not once, do or say something brave in his life.
– is at heart the rear-end of a lemming herd. won’t take a stand (or a plunge) until the numbers safely allow him to do so.
– is ignorant of or afraid to confront racial, ethnic, tribal truths.
– would rather bear witness to national decline and dissolution and preside over gross injustice than be on record that there are consequential race and sex differences beyond skin color and genitalia.
– thinks the only difference between the sexes that is acceptable to utter in public is the male penchant for gags and buttplugs. (he also projects wildly)
– dreadfully fears social ostracism, rendering him politically impotent.
– will force himself to clap loudly for pre-op Bruce Jenner, to coo falsely over mystery meat infants, to nod soberly in agreement when the pay gap lie is mentioned yet again as gospel truth, to pretend that Michelle Obama is attractive, and to insist women’s soccer is just as thrilling to watch as men’s soccer (which is not much thrilling to begin with).
– Will give every shrieking leftoid the benefit of the doubt while reflexively questioning the motives of every ballsy Realtalker.
– will preface every feeble tiptoe into his own Realtalk wading pool with an ass-covering “To be sure…” or a spastic impromptu paean to Martin Luther King, Jr.
– backs down with a quickness at roundtable debates with aggressive liberals.
– the only topics on which he won’t back down are taxes on the oligarchs and fighting terrorists over there so we don’t have to fight them here (while insisting open borders are American as apple pie and that muslim dude who shot dead a platoon of Christian soldiers was really a victim of discrimination and now, now, let’s not get crazy and question our shared enthusiasm for increasing Diversity™ in the military).
– will intone “diversity is our strength” while commuting home to an upscale gated community that is 98% White and 2% East Asian.
– exclaims “content of our character”, “fighting for freedom”, “blacks kill other blacks more than any other race”, and “hispanics are natural conservatives” without a hint of ironic detachment.
– has probably sexually molested a young boy sometime before his political career took off.

Cuckservatives are even more loathsome than true blue leftoid believers in the antiwhite progrom, because at least you can say the latter are loyal to a personal, if mortally twisted, ethos. The cuckservative is loyal to nothing but personal aggrandizement. The cuckservative so easily betrays his stated principles because, in fact, he has no principles. He is a globocorporate transnational post-american striver SWPL just as much as any of his ultraliberal co-evals, minus the overt eagerness for estate taxes and nationalized healthcare, and he’ll be damned if he’ll let some flyover smart-ass with an eye for both the big picture and the demonic detail to destabilize his easy-livin’ sinecure.

Given this list of characteristics, the “cuckold” root of the cuckservative metaphor is exceedingly apt. The cuckservative is, in habit of mind and sometimes in practice, that pathetic white man with noodle arms and crusted tear tracks sitting hunched on a stool in the corner of his bedroom watching, with willing fervor, his ecstatic white wife get pounded into post-white release by a buck nigra who eats his food and kicks his ass when the fridge needs refilling.

Yes, he’ll sit there nicely and putter with his pud while his wife (nation) gets banged out by another man (nonwhites, third world immigrants), as long as no one mistakes him for a small town prole who can’t tell the nose difference between a merlot and a pinot noir.

The cuckservative is cucked by antagonistic races, by antagonistic ideologies, by antagonistic corporate masters, by antagonistic talk show hosts, by antagonistic fat losers editorializing on the internet equivalent of teen beat gossip rags.

All he wants is their approval. A pat on the head from his sworn and intractable enemies. He swears he’ll keep his hands to himself and won’t cum until instructed to do so!

He is a low self-esteem, approval-seeking, whimpering cumlapper.

He is dog shit.

But there is hope.

Amazingly, some cuckservatives are LITERAL CUCKSERVATIVES. Commenter james1 peruses a few famous biographies,

It’s interesting that even though the Boehner family and the Bush family are Republicans, they are bigger race mixers than the Kennedy family and the Clinton family are Democrats. Jeb Bush married a Mestiza who looks like the maid at your local Motel 6 or Days Inn and John Boehner’a daughter married a Jamaican pothead who is a wannabe Bob Marley.

Also the Republican John McCain adopted a very dark skin girl from Sri Lanka while JFK/Jackie O and Bill/Hillary who are Democrats never adopted any Nonwhite children.

Literal cuckservatives take their prostrate mewling before the antiwhite mob a little too seriously. But with a familial C.V. like, for example, Boehner’s or ¡Jabe!’s, is it a surprise that these self-abnegating genetic dead ends can’t think clearly on the subject of race, borders, nation?

As Occam’s Razor puts it,

On the other hand, the idea of whites acting as a group to secure their own interests terrifies the cuckservative. If you ever want to troll a cuckservative, just repeatedly use the word “white,”  such as “this isn’t beneficial for the white community.”  The cuckservative will be triggered immediately.

Nobody gets triggered like a nancygoy cuckservative gets triggered. Truly pathetic specimens of manhood. Wasn’t Boehner the puffboy who blubbered like a baby on stage recollecting his time in the bathhouses of the Castro District? With “leaders” and “representatives” like him, who needs an opposition party? If Boehner wants a real reason to cry, he should reflect on his daughter’s coal burning, doing her part to destroy an aesthetic, cultural, and genetic heritage 20,000 years in the making.

The Cuckservative: Re-raising equalist leftoids, because, hey, he’s got something to disprove.

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High yella shit stirrer Courtland Milloy hates white culture (which means he hates white people, since a culture is a reflection of a people’s racial essence).

For years, the struggles of middle- and working-class black people animated life on 14th Street. Now all of that is gone. It’s been replaced by a stultifying air of aloofness. The millennial newcomers — most of them white — jog, bike and walk about the city as if in a trance, oblivious to the lives that helped form the place they now call home.

“in a trance” = “normal white people behaving like whites and not like ghetto blacks, which really irks and alienates me”.

Even leftoid Hivemind media organs can’t keep the commenter Realtalk™ storm at bay. From “econundertow”:

14th Street isn’t as much fun as was in the good ol’ days, that’s for sure.

I’m sad that the wall-to-wall junkies that used to pass out on top each other in front of my ‘house’ @ 14th and T sts. NW are gone … fine upstanding citizens, all of them.

I fondly recall the time when the carjacker pointed his .45 Colt at me out of his stolen car window @ 12th & N sts, There was an upstanding member of the 14th street community.

I recall the young man shot to death in front of the house I was renovating on Fairmont St a year later. I miss being shot at myself while operating a machine on the same street. What is 14th street without these folks?

There were the drug-dealing kids who tried to gun down a rival on R st @ 14th. They fled in a late-model Ford station wagon … poor aim, they missed their target despite 15 shots from a 9mm pistol. Nevertheless, fine upstanding members of the community.

I recall the shyster car dealers, the winos, pawn shops and liquor stores … the suburbanites looking to score PCP, crack, heroin and pot in any number of large, open air drug markets. The sound of children playing, “Hey, dude, you need anything?”

W st @ 14th was once one of the most dangerous areas in the city, like 144th @ Lenox Avenue in Harlem, even for cops. The the large, rotting apartment buildings lining W st were mazes, the druggies knew them inside and out. Ditto with the row of large apartment buildings on R st between 14th and 15th. All those living in those buildings and the other derelict apartment houses are certain to be missed.

Indeed, all those young black men were certainly on their way up, they just got shuffled aside by zombie millennials. Right…

Do the Courtland Milloys of the world deserve a measured response? Nah.

Fuck these fuckers in their phonyfuck faces.

PS Diversity + Proximity = Courtland Milloy’s butthurt id!

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Thumping, throbbing, pulsing… a sinuous dolphinoid stroke through crisscrossing waves of briny, grinding flesh, arrive at destination: a ramshackle tropic-themed auxiliary bar. I wave, regally, in the vicinity of the bartendress, to order a stiff one. To my left, propped lordotically on a stool, a slim blonde in slimmer dress squeezes a lime wedge into her love potion. She thinks (incorrectly) a stray sour squirt hit me; I feign injury.

Blondie: “Oh, I’m sorry about that!”

Left hand up to left eye, I execute a grimace with great gusto. “Aagh! My eye! It burns.”

She gawks for a beat, I spread two fingers slowly apart, revealing the abstractly-afflicted eye, peering at her with my miraculously and expediently cured vision through the finger gap, smiling with same orb a reprieve from a personal injury lawsuit. I leave the scene, pressed in equal measure by physiological necessity and the advantages of calculated absence. Her friend, almost as attractive, says “bye” loudly as I set off.

The right inflection can flip a “bye” into a “why not stay for a longer ‘hi'”?

Re-trace my dolphin migration, arrive at bathroom to discharge the blowhole. Too many pissers. The walls bulge, Matrix-like, with the teem of testosterone. Zipping and careful to avoid slipping in the slosh of urine accumulating on the floor, I contort my return way through the crowd to the bathroom exit, as a crescendo of primate chest beatings alerts my early warning detection system. A stygian mutant standing in the doorway prognathously bellows, “That’s rude, man. That kinda rude can get a man killed”, at a retreating Topper pretending to ignore the taunt. He repeats his threat in staccato bursts of gumfire three or four (thousand) times, a menacing series of war cries intended to evoke the fear of an inevitable eruption of normalcy into sudden, violent, pitched battle. I raise my arms into a preparatory garrison as I snake around the rapidly intensifying black hole of gravitational incivility.

Escape velocity achieved. One hundred paces between chaos and rapture. Back at dryland Bar Tiki, the blonde, still seated, still smoldering, shifts to make room for my adjacent insertion. I accost her.

“You know I’m practically blind in my right eye now.”

“You mean, your left eye?”

“Oh, yeah, my left eye. Blind as a bat. At least your right side looks good. I hope your left side makes the grade.”

Her face energizes for gratifying combat. She sparkles, I toggle. Everything is gonna be alright.

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