Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘The Pleasure Principle’ Category

I love writing about the strangeness I encounter in the dating trenches. Universal principles of female nature are more fun to continually rediscover when they’re embroidered with quirks and hiding under free-bushing skirts.

However, I’ve had to curtail recounting these exploits in a public forum as increasing numbers of Chateau guests have emailed to say they’ve recommended the blog to their sons, and sometimes daughters. When I hear about this in the middle of contemplating another launch of raunch, a feeling comes over me……one I can’t quite describe…..it’s so alien to me…..guilt, yes that’s it. Guilt, mixed with embarrassment. Apparently, I think of the children more than Hillary Clinton’s Cunt Corp does.

But I can’t resist this tale of the tail. So to any parents reading, please usher your children to their radiator shackles.

I girl I dated had a perfumed asshole. She was half-Asian (not the same Asian chick as the one featured in this post). I caught a whiff when she straddled me 69 style to suck me off. Her ass bobbed closer and closer to my nose, and the scent of jasmine (assmine?) wafted pleasantly across my face. Sweetest smelling mini-vag I ever sniffed.

For Lucifer knows what reason, I never bothered to ask why her asshole smelled like perfume. Best explanation I can give is that when I’m in the bone zone I let fleeting and amusing thoughts escape transmission to my tongue, so while I may think it, I never get around to vocalizing it. If it’s a particularly unusual assfectation, it can feel awkward to bring it up. So I enjoy the sensation and the farcical quality of the moment and leave it at that.

Recapping, I wonder now what that hapa’s perfumed asshore meant. I come up with five possibilities.

  1. it’s an inscrutable oriental thing
  2. her asshole was either congenitally very smelly, or she adhered to a higher standard for asshole freshness, and perfuming it helped her live with herself
  3. it was an olfactory invitation to me alone to rectally ravage her (rim jobs are out of the question, jeez people, i’m not a savage)
  4. she was a serial sphincter spritzer, and the jasmine aroma was the equivalent of a sexual history report card. straight As in anal play
  5. she had just had a spicy dog stew

If you have a memorable time with a woman who perfumes her asshole, you’ll think “that’s brisk baby!” and have an immediate compulsion to come to the Chateau to share your glory. We’ll be here with the lights on. Because proctology dies in darkness.

Read Full Post »

Every race of woman, no matter how ugly on average, has its redeeming exceptions of universally admired beauty.

Except the abos. Not even one.

Abos and the assorted subpopulation primitive groups like pygmies and Amazonian tribes have literally zero attractive women. You could Find, Meet, and Attract ten thousand of their women, but you wouldn’t want to Close any one of them.

Would abo men bang their women? Apparently, enough to still exist as a race. Actually, research of that nature would be very illuminating. Do abo men — literal proto-human throwbacks with an average IQ lower than that of deepest Africa — prefer their own women or would they be enticed by the standard White Euro beauty norm? This would reveal the nature of the tussle at the intersection between evolution and a platonic universal beauty standard.

Most likely, abo men would prefer non-abo to abo women, were they given a side by side comparison and a realistic shot at bedding a non-abo. Can we get some funding over here for this critical research proposal?

Aesthetically, the beautiful women of every race have more in common with each other than they do with the ugly women of their own race.

Aesthetically. Not temperamentally, intellectually, or morally.

A universal ideal of beauty is real. The beholders’ judgment is a borg.

Read Full Post »

It’s ¡SCIENCE! day at the Chateau, and that means another 100% LOVEFACT to trigger a cascade of yeasty femlib tears.

If you want a slender wife, and hence a happy life, it helps to be adored by her.

The attractiveness of one’s partner may play a role in their decision to improve their body image, particularly when it comes to women, a new study finds.

With previous studies having shown that a marriage is more likely to be successful when the wife is more attractive than her husband, the phenomenon of a more-attractive husband particularly piqued the researchers’ interest. […]

Based on their findings, their hypothesis — that less-attractive wives felt compelled to appease more-attractive husbands — seemed to have merit.

Women, for example, were found to be more likely to diet and seek a slim figure when they had attractive husbands.

The God of Biomechanics works in not-so-mysterious ways if you aren’t brainwashed by feminist poopytalk and PC platitudes.

Men, on the other hand, did not diet based on their partner’s attractiveness — or lack thereof.

Haha this is really the killer finding in the research. Men don’t diet to appease their wives, however attractive the wives may be, because men subconsciously, and rightly, know that their physiques aren’t the primary reason their wives are attracted to them. The strongest marriages are a physically attractive wife paired with a psychologically attractive husband. The sexual polarity is required.

Naturally, the study authors are aghast, rubbing their chafed id-ass, as they scurry to appease nasty women who might tumblr along to be offended by this latest iteration of science reconfirming the existence of reality.

“The results reveal that having a physically attractive husband may have negative consequences for wives, especially if those wives are not particularly attractive,” says researcher Tania Reynolds in a university news release.

Why is it assumed that wives who feel a pressing urge to lose weight to appease their HSMV husbands are experiencing negative consequences? Do women secretly desire to be fat and unloved by their men? Because that’s the presumption behind this stupidly femcunt value judgment. The truth is that women love being thin and sexy and especially love being desired by the men they love. So HSMV husbands are VERY GOOD for women. Nothing but positive consequences all the way up.

These findings are critical in that they offer insight into the causes of more grave conditions caused by a desire to become or stay svelte, such as eating disorders.

My theory is that anorexia is an acute metastasizing form of a normal female desire, honed by millennia of evolved male mate choice preference, to be slender and able to entice alpha men to love them. The way to defeat anorexia is not to convince sufferers that being thin is wrong and being fat is OK, but to sympathize with their natural desire to be thin and then help them moderate their self-destructive behaviors rather than eliminate them.

Read Full Post »

Platitudes are the curse of our times. The Pretty Lies are everywhere, and polluting the minds of our most vulnerable and emotionally fragile: single White women.

Here’s a revealing glimpse at one of the incantations performed during this Platitude Purification Protocol that single White women indulge to gain entry to the right-thinking GoodWhite World:

A morning zoo radio show had a discussion about the female orgasm and what women need to experience it. A chirpy White woman, quoting a glam mag article on the same topic, bubbled that women need trust to have an orgasm. The male hosts agreed, lending the skit an air of medicinal predictability.

This is a lie. As Overlord-pilled guests of the Chateau know, what women say and what they do are two very different things, especially in the realm of sex and romance. Women say: “I need to trust a man to relax enough and have an orgasm”. Women do: Have mattress-soaking orgasms with some bad boy who picked them up at a nightclub.

Women don’t need trust to have great sex. What women need is a psychologically dominant ZFG man who can arouse them to an autonomic orgasm.

Usually, when we restrict our range of options to women who are sexually unfulfilled, the men with whom these women have the most trouble having orgasms are the men women trust the most and know the longest: borefriends and hubbies.

tl;dr: Women say: “trust”. Women need: “alpha”. Trust is nice, but jerkboy is spice.

You want an uglier truth? Women’s orgasms may not be for women at all; they may exist to serve men.

Read Full Post »

Many women, particularly single women of the slutty persuasion, take a perverse glee in recounting episodes of bad sex with a man. Some even like to challenge the alphalinity of a potential suitor by offering unsolicited stories of times in the past when they had endured bad sex, the unstated purpose being a sneaky desire to test the new man’s quickness or reluctance to assert that he is not one of those “bad sex guys”. (Sincerely answering this kind of probing question is a no-win situation; best reply is to tell her it takes two to tango.)

The femmesplaining and gloating by women cackling about bad sex is a rhetorical ego balm. The truth is that the bad sex theory, as a rule, is a misdiagnosis of the first cause: a bad stimulant. Women who complain about bad sex should look in the mirror. If you’re not very attractive, don’t expect the men who will have you to put much effort into pleasing you.

I’m sure there are isolated cases of men who for whatever reason are simply horrible in the sack. But it defies credulity that the world is overrun with bad sex bros; more likely is that very few men are banging their dream woman, and that this mismatch in the male hindbrain between bang reality and bang fantasy accounts for most of the bad sex complaints by the middle of the belle curve plain janes.

And the further down the female SMV hierarchy a man must tumblr to get laid, the less likely he is to feel the power of his Inner Jackhammer summoning him to feats of boudoir majesty.

This is the high unholies of ugly truths that sub-hottie poseur-thotties will never ever acknowledge (not that I blame them): that their romantic disappointment is a byproduct of their facial comportment.

Personally, I have noticed big differences in my enthusiasm with women who differ by as little as 1 point on the 1-10 female beauty scale. As a man of stealth and taste, Game and my accumulated experience with women have afforded me a lifestyle which precludes the necessity of dumpster diving for sustenance, however even a maester of the muff sometimes dates across instead of up, and heaven forfend even down a bit when the stars cross in cursed portent.

The occasional muse-less 5 or 6 has knelt at the Chateau pine shrine. From my perspective, at least, bad sex ensued, and I imagine they thought similarly though they kept that opinion to themselves. A perfunctory piston-efficient pumping, followed promptly by a snooze.

I can tell when I’ve delivered a sub-par performance because I know what heights of sexual abandon I’ve scaled when inspired to a great performance. The HB8s and yippie! 9s who’ve made the crimson-pillgrimage received the banging of their lives, all clitorises excited, all proclivities gratified, all G spots perused. Once, I broke my no-licky-the-sticky first month rule on a first date with a hard 9 whose pussy smelled of lavender. I went at her neatly trimmed bush like a tasmanian devil, gulping her aroma with the exuberance of a drowning victim piercing the surface for that precious breath of life. Anal? You betcha. Sweat? Through the sheets. Splattered juices? Like a crime scene. Bent over the kitchen counter, her head knocking into a cabinet as glassware rattled its orchestral approval? Oui oui, my mortal release. And did I kiss her deeply, passionately, longingly, as we met and pressed our flesh into one? It was required.

An older womanizer once told me that erectile dysfunction isn’t real if it can be cured by a younger, hotter, tighter woman. He was a mentor of sorts, and in his honor I remembered of him that old seducers never die, they just fade from the game.

Read Full Post »

This post is the start of a series celebrating the uncommonly exquisite beauty of the White European woman. Befitting the title of this blog, Chateau Heartiste, our first featured lady is a Frenchwoman by the name of Pascale Petit.

Oo la la. This is the face of a woman who could pull any man away from vidgya games and pr0n.

Not an ounce of superfluous fat on her either. Pre-sugar dosed and carb-loaded European women were almost universally thin, even if not all of them were ravishing beauties. Beta males had it good then. Today, not so much.

Enjoy these photos and remind yourselves that our Globohomo open borders ruling class wants to erase this painstakingly refined beauty from the face of the earth, forever. In my book, that makes the Globohomo Bathhouse Alliance the purest evil.

Read Full Post »

Feminists unable to tolerate evolved psychological and biological differences between the sexes, along with free love freakazoids on the supposed side of realtalk, cleave to the neoDarwinian meme that bonobo society proves polyamory is a natural instinct that humans share with them. Sexual jealously is just so gauche, don’t you see, pleb? Welcome to the polyamorous side of history!

The problem is that it’s just a feelgood meme for LSMV rejects; the actual research has discovered that bonobos aren’t polyamorous at all, they just happen to be less violent than other apes in apportioning bonobo pussy to the top male.

Bonobos have a reputation for being the peaceful, free-loving hippies of the primate world. But, researchers reporting in Current Biology on July 10 have discovered that despite friendly relations between the sexes, particular males have a surprisingly strong advantage over others when it comes to fathering offspring. For example, researchers found in one group that the most reproductively successful bonobo male fathered more than 60 percent of the next generation.

Another blast of ¡SCIENCE! leaves equalist losers rubbing their wounded egos.

The top male bonobos father most of the next generation, which means female bonobos are acutely hypergamous.

What’s interesting about bonobos is that they are less violent than chimps, but MORE polygynous, (that is, a few males get all the females). This is a puzzle for researchers because they thought female hypergamy was a downstream consequence of male dominance, i.e., “let’s you and him fight”. Men fight for women, and the women mate with whoever is left standing in the arena of genetic oblivion or survival. Bonobos show that female hypergamy itself is a decisive factor. The females don’t have to wait around for the males to duke it out; they glom onto the most charming of the bonobo PUAs.

So what do all those unloved beta male bonobos do with their extended fap-time as they watch a few alphas hoard the females? Apparently, male and female bonobos are very friendly with each other, so maybe the blue-balled beta orbiter phenomenon seen in humans evolved from bonobo females LJBBFing (let’s just be bonobo friends) their mangina males?

FRIENDZONED BY A BONOBO HO, NOW CHIMP CHICK IS MY FRIEND

The alpha male bonobos father 60% of the next generation. Imagine that degree of female hypergamy in human society. Did it exist once? Evidence is scarce, but tantalizing gene research says it did exist in the human past, to the extent that for every one man who reproduced, two women reproduced.

So, if you think beta male thirst is bad now, try envisioning a society in which half the men were lifelong incel and most of the other half had to share their women with a few harem leaders drowning in pussy. Somehow, the spark of civilization emerged from that stew of toxic hypergamy.

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

%d bloggers like this: